the power of listening
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The Power of Listening. Chris Carter, Training Coordinator Office of Human Resource Employee Development Center. What is Listening? . - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
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The Power of Listening
Chris Carter, Training CoordinatorOffice of Human Resource
Employee Development Center
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What is Listening?
• listening (ILA, 1996): the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention
• Effective communication is 2-way– depends on speaking and listening
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Listening vs. Hearing
• Hearing- physical process; natural; passive
• Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill
• Listening is hard!
You must choose to participate in the process of listening.
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Fast Facts
• We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm
• 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful
• 20% of the time, we remember what we hear• More than 35% of businesses think listening is a
top skill for success• Less than 2% of people have had formal
education with listening
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Percentage of Communication
Mode of Communication
Formal Yearsof Training
Percentage of Time Used
Writing 12 years 9%
Reading 6-8 years 16 %
Speaking 1-2 years 30%
Listening 0-few hours 45%
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Why Be A Good Listener?
Needs of the Customer…
• To be recognized and remembered• To feel valued• To feel appreciated• To feel respected• To feel understood• To feel comfortable about a want or need
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Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment
…a way of saying, “You are important.”
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Listening builds stronger relationships
…creates a desire to cooperate among people because they feel accepted and acknowledged.
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Listening promotes being heard
…”Seek first to understand, then be understood.”
- Stephen Covey
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Listening creates acceptance and openness
…conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”
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Listening leads to learning
…openness encourages personal growth and learning
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Listening reduces stress and tension
…minimizes confusion and misunderstanding, eliminating related stress and tension
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Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution
…much conflict comes from the need to be heard. Successful
resolution depends on being a non-anxious presence.
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Barriers to Listening
• Equate With Hearing• Uninteresting Topics• Speaker’s Delivery• External Distractions• Mentally Preparing
Response
• Listening for Facts• Personal Concerns• Personal Bias• Language/Culture
Differences• Faking Attention
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Bad Listening Habits
• Criticizing the subject or the speaker• Getting over-stimulated• Listening only for facts• Not taking notes OR outlining everything• Tolerating or creating distraction• Letting emotional words block message• Wasting time difference between speed of speech
and speed of thought
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When Are You Listening?
• Non-Verbal Encouragers
• Verbal Encouragers
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Active Listening
• … Allows you to make sure you hear the words and understand the meaning behind the words
• Goal: go beyond listening to understanding
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Active Listening Requires…
• Definite Intent to Listen• Focus on the Speaker• Verbal and Non-Verbal Encouragers• Feedback Loop to Insure Accuracy
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Active Listening (4 Steps)
1. Listen2. Question3. Reflect-
Paraphrase4. Agree
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Step 1: Listen
• To Feelings As Well As Words– Words – Emotions -- Implications
• Focus on Speaker– Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
• What Is Speaker Talking About?– Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?
• Look At Speaker• Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers
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Step 2: Question
• 3 Purposes– Demonstrates you are listening– Gather information– Clarification
• Open-ended– Tell me more?– How did you feel?– Then what happened?
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Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase
• Reflect What Is Said (In your words)• Reflect Feelings• Reframe
– Capture the essence of the communication– Remove negative framing– Move toward problem solving
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Step 4: Agree
• Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing• Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!• Solution Is Near!
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Activity
• Speaker – talk for 2 min.• Listener – listen using
the skills we’ve discussed• Observer – observe the
application of the skills and take notes