the official weekly magazine of nakid weeklybrew1974 he was promoting foreman and ali’s “rumble...

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Check Meetup for free movies!

THEWEEKLYBREWTh e O f f i c i a l Week l y Maga z i n e o f NAK ID

Get your team for the Beerlympics ready!

Indoor Week 6

Ramblings: A NAKID Fable

The Weekly Brew Winter 2010 - Week 5

NAKID - Indoor February 19, 2010 • 1

W e’re past the mid-point of the season, and it seems that many of you have

the winter blues. Bar participation is way down, especially on Sundays (with the exception of the DMGs, who are properly praised by the Magic 8-Ball). C’mon guys, where’s the love? We still have the great drink specials and plenty of room for flip cup, so get to The Exchange and start having some NAKID-style fun! Afterall, beer, flip cup and fun are what NAKID is all about!

I’d like to take a moment to plug an event coming up on March 6 that is one of the Brew’s favorites, and should be one of yours: The Beerlympics! Up to 20 teams of six to eight people compete in games like Build Me a Beeramid, Boat Races, Pitcher Races, Drunkball and, of course, flip cup. Then, if you’re lucky and

make it to the final, you get to participate in DAS BOOT!! Yeah, that’s right, we have boots. There IS technique, and to watch is a thing of beauty. So contact your friends, get a team together, go to the Meetup site and register! It’s only $5 per player and all the beer is FREE!! We need judges, too, so if you don’t want to participate you can help determine the winners, and also drink for FREE!!

As always, if you have any photos, funny quotes, LOTW nominations or want to submit a feature, please email [email protected]! The Brewers are still working on their omniscience, so your help is appreciated! You can also follow us on Facebook and Twitter to see how you can help make the Brew the best it can be!

Register for NAKID’s Spring Season!We’ll be back playing on the mall and drinking

at My Brother’s Place and Hamilton’s, and this season we’ve added more chapters! The price to join varies depending on the day you’re interested in playing. Check it out:

-- Early Sundays @ 3pm is $55-- Late Sundays @ 4pm is $55-- Tuesdays @ 6:30pm is $45-- Early Wednesdays @ 6:15pm is $50-- Late Wednesdays @ 7:15pm is $55-- Early Thursdays @ 6:15pm is $55-- Late Thursdays @ 7:15pm is $60

As always, we’ll have tons of social events to keep your calendar full and you having fun! This season we’ll have FREE jello shots at the bar after your games, FREE beer at our sponsor bars on rainout days, fun trips to other cities like Annapolis and Baltimore on the Boomerang Bus, raffles for prizes at our parties, beer-in-hand kickball games

@ RFK DC United tailgates, a Beerlympics tournament, Beer Spelling Bee, Virginia Wine Festival trips, and of course, happy hours! Go to the NAKID website to register now!

http://www.meetup.com/nakidkickball

http://www.facebook.com/weeklybrew

http://twitter.com/weeklybrew

http://www.playnakid.com



ASKNAKID ?Each week we will provide the answers to your most burning questions. Best one of the week wins a free pitcher of beer. Please send questions to [email protected].

Is it safe to eat dog food?Surprisingly, if you chow on

some Alpo once in a while, you’ll be just fine. “Dog food is rich in nutrients, so it’s like having a multivitamin in your food source,” says Joseph Wakshlag, assistant professor of clinical nutrition at Cornell University. But because dogs require more minerals than humans do, not just your breath will suffer long-term. The average man would need about five to seven cups of fatty, mineral-rich dog food a day, which could cause liver damage and obesity. Eating only poodle grub would also lead to vitamin C deficiency and the

?

Who is the most successful convicted

murderer alive today?When Don King got out of jail in 1971, the 39-year-old hood had fatally shot a man for trying to rob one of his gambling houses (it was ruled self-defense and a justifiable homicide) and stomped another to death over a $600 debt, for which he was convicted of manslaughter and served close to four years. By 1974 he was promoting Foreman and Ali’s “Rumble in the Jungle,” and in 1975 he hyped the “Thrilla in Manila,” Ali-Frazier III. He has dominated boxing since and earned frightening sums in the process. Only Don knows his exact worth, but in 2006 Forbes estimated his net at about $350

?million. Note to self: Go on kill-crazy rampage and get weird hairdo, stat!

pirate scourge known as scurvy. If your breath doesn’t scare off all of womankind, your peg leg and angry parrot will.

Could my hand shatter like glass if I dipped it in

liquid nitrogen?At -320°F (-196°C), liquid nitrogen is colder than Ann Coulter stamping passports at the U.S.-Mexico border. It’s primarily used as an industrial refrigerant: transporting perishables, freezing broken water pipes so plumbers can service them without getting soaked, preserving medical samples—nothing too glamorous, really, unless you’re into frozen sperm. In college labs wild-eyed professors do science tricks with liquid nitrogen. “You could dip your finger for a very short time with no ill effects,” says Jim Peploski, professor of chemistry at Clarkson University. “The skin’s warmth causes liquid nitrogen to boil rapidly, surrounding the finger with a pocket of nitrogen gas.” And if you leave those fingers submerged more than a quick second? “Prolonged exposure would cause the interconnecting tissue, skin, and bones to freeze solid,” says Peploski. “The hand would be like a frozen pork chop; it probably wouldn’t shatter like glass, but you could use it as a good, sturdy club.”

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N A K I D E V E N T S

SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT

28 March 1 2 3 4 5 6

Week 8 Games

NAKID Movie Night: Mother, She’s Out of My League and Brooklyn’s Finest

Hump Day! Week 8 Games

NAKID Beerlympics!Get your team together for some beer games!

7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Playoffs NAKID Movie Night: Green Zone

Hump Day! Playoffs Shamrock-fest! Volunteer to pour beer with NAKID!

14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Playoffs NAKID Movie Night: The Bounty Hunter

St. Patrick’s Day! Join NAKID on a bar crawl!

Playoffs Flip Cup Tournament!

Indoor End of Season Party!

Ready . . . Set . . .

DODGEBALL!4Ever Young Sports was started to bring adults together in the Washington, D.C., metro area to enjoy the games and sports that they played in their youth. Our mission is to bring people together to meet, have fun and socialize in a relaxed atmosphere while playing sports, as well as to have fun at our sponsor bar, Town Tavern. 4EverYoung Sports has partnered with NAKID to bring you its first sport: dodgeball!

The season will begin on March 18th and will include eight regular season games followed by one week of playoffs. All games will be held at the Marie Reed Gymnasium in Adams Morgan between 6:30 and 9:30 on Thursday evenings. Following dodgeball, there will be fun and games at The Town Tavern, plus great food and drink specials.

You can sign up as an individual or register an entire team. Registration is $55; teams can have a maximum of 16 players. Games are 8 vs. 8, with four males and four females on each side.

Check out their website, get registered to play some dodgeball and show no mercy!

http://www.4everyoungsports.com



Maggie, CHICKEN TETRAZZINI!! (Sunday)The FB description of Maggie’s exploits: “Maggie stuck her tongue into my beer, after I tongue slapped her...she was drunk!” “[She] stole my shiny hairband!!! Did I tongue slap [her] for that? I do have a funny rubber slipper wrist-bandy thingy now.” (sidenote: the definition of tongue slapping: “um...you know...her tongue was out, I slapped it...no idea why. Seemed like a good/fun idea at the time.”) She also wrote “Close tab” on her hand as a reminder, as a lesson learned from many nights before. Congrats, Maggie!

Congratulations, Maggie, Joe and Sandi! This season LOTWs not only get the NAKID Lush bandana to proudly wear during games, at the bar, or whenever else they want, they also win two passes on the Boomerang Bus!

Disappointed you didn’t get a Boomerang pass? Well, every NAKID gets 20 percent off any Boomerang Bus trip. You will need the promo code, so please contact the Weekly Brew at [email protected] for that. Check out the Boomerang and its trips at www.ridetheboomerang.com.

Please don’t get alcohol poisoning trying to win LOTW. The Brewers would like to encourage you to drink responsibly!

FiveQs

1. Why did you join NAKID? Because I heard people were a lot friendlier in this league.2. What’s the weirdest place you’ve thrown up? All over a metro station.3. What A-Team character would you be? Murdock!4. If you were on a desert island, what would you bring with you? A doll with girly parts.5. Cup size? [Feels nipples] A2. Is that a size?

AndyParatroop

Andy

http://www.ridetheboomerang.com



Joe, Xtacles (Thursday)Joe showed up for his first game this season making “quite the sloppy showing.” Later at the bar, the Brew was told “there was a guy on the yellow team that was so wasted, I convinced him to have a water chugging contest. He won every time . . . Later in the night I saw him from across the room where he was making inappropriate tongue gestures . . . if that makes any sense.” And in an email sent to the Brew nominating Joe: “Less coherent than usual.” Go Joe!

Sandi, Legen...wait for it...dary (Thursday)There were many noms for LOTW, but Sandi wins for one reason. According to Mike Lacy: “[Sandi] was drunk enough that she WANTED me to try and find a guy for her to hook up with.” That’s pretty drunk, considering Mike’s tactics. We also hear she was licking people and gave quite a few tongue baths. Congrats, Sandi!

FiveQs1. Why did you join NAKID? I felt like my liver was functioning too properly.2. If you could only play one jukebox song, what would it be? Shout!3. What Olympic sport in the bedroom are you? Men’s ice hockey, fuck no checking. slam me up against the wall4. What menu item are you? Grilled cheese5. Cup size? I don’t know but it has a straw

Tanya, Morally Casual

Tanya



FiveQs1. Why did you join NAKID? To score2. What’s the weirdest place you’ve thrown up? The Field Museum in Chicago.3. What A-Team character would you be? Mr. T, because I’m so black it’s ridiculous.4. If you were on a desert island, what would you bring with you? Vibrator5. Cup size? B cup. A handfull is enough for me.

Chuck,Deceptacles

Chuck

NAKID Beerlympics!Where the REAL athletes prove themselves!

Saturday, March 6, 5 p.m., Location TBDWhat are the NAKID Beerlympics? Think Beerfest, right down to

Das Boot! Get a team of 6 together (7, if you’d like an alternate), and start training. There are chugging contests, flip cup games, beer pong matches, and of course, DAS BOOT! We start with a round robin to determine seeding for the tournament, then it’s double elimination to get our champion!

We have rooms for 20 teams, so go to the Meetup site to sign up! Don’t jump the gun, though—only RSVP if you are definitely fielding a team!




FiveQs

1. Why did you join NAKID? Because “naked” was in the title and I like to do that.2. If you could only play one jukebox song, what would it be? Party in the U.S.A.3. What Olympic sport in the bedroom are you? Curling4. What menu item are you? Chicken tenders and tater tots5. Cup size? Triple F

Kelley,Spitzer Swallows

Kelley

NAKID’s HUGE Flip Cup Tournament!Show DC what NAKIDs can do!

We have partnered up with several other area groups including DC Kickball, United Skeeball, Happy Hour Kickball, and a few others in DC to bring you the largest flip cup tournament in the city!

Thirty-two teams will compete for a cash prize (estimated to be $400+) plus FREE entry into the upcoming 5th World Series of Flip Cup, scheduled for May 22nd in Baltimore, MD!

Teams will field 6 players and 2 alternates with an entry fee of just $100 dollars per team. That’s half the price of the other qualifying tournaments in DC, but with twice as much

beer and TONS more fun. This fee covers the prizes, 16+ kegs of beer, and entry into the tournament.

More details will follow, but the venue will be metro-accessible, easy to find, and have some great food if you’re hungry.

Captains of their teams should register and pay their entire entree fee of $100 and add +5-7 guests to their RSVP.

NAKID prides itself on being the best flip cuppers not only in the city, but in the country. Get your team together, start practicing, and show everyone what NAKID is made of!!




NAKID St. Paddy’s Day Booze Bus!Spend the day riding around the city on the Boomerang!

Wednesday, Feb. 17, 11 a.m.Centuries ago, St. Patrick banished snakes from

Ireland, so today we celebrate that wonderful feat (despite evidence that snakes never actually existed in Ireland to begin with...but we digress) by drinking copious amounts of beer!

We’ll have 1 bus (and maybe 2 if demand calls for it) and a list of bars that we’ll be going to, all in the metro DC area. It’s $10 per NAKID and $20 for non-NAKIDs. You will need to take the day off from work and you MUST wear green to be permitted on the bus.

FiveQs1. Why did you join NAKID? I played NAKID before with Troy.2. If you could only play one jukebox song, what would it be? Rosalita by Bruce Springsteen3. What Olympic sport in the bedroom are you? Gymnastics4. What menu item are you? Scallops5. Cup size? I try to be a C as hard as I can, but D

Kaitlyn, Boobie Brigade

Kaitlyn



Kickball Ramblings

Mike Lacy’s

Jennifer woke up with incomplete memories of the night before. She tried to piece together what happened, but she could only remember a few random images. She knew she had been drinking rather heavily.

There was flip cup; definitely a lot of flip cup. Shots may have been involved. She may have even hooked up with someone. And was someone at the bar dressed like Ronald McDonald?

After arriving at work, her memories still weren’t clear. She anticipated emailing some friends to figure out what went down, but unfortunately, she had a busy work day ahead of her, and wouldn’t be able to dedicate much time to solving the mystery of the night before. After a couple of hours on the job, while she had a few free minutes before a meeting, she took a quick break to check her email where she found an ominous message: She had been tagged in several photos on Facebook. Worse, the tagger was her unemployed teammate who was notorious for tagging uncomplimentary pictures.

She debated whether or not she should check the pictures immediately and be late to the meeting, or if she should go to the meeting, and risk having bad pictures linger on the web. When one of her co-workers walked by and asked if she was coming, she knew she had no choice. She had to go to the meeting, and the pictures would have to wait.

She was largely unable to concentrate on meeting because she feared what the pictures of her on Facebook might show. She wavered between hope and despair. Maybe the pictures weren’t bad. Maybe they were just pictures of her sitting with her teammates. Or maybe they’re the most embarrassing pictures ever taken, and all of her Facebook friends are going to see it. She questioned why she added her co-workers as Facebook friends. And why did she add her 12 year old niece as a friend? Now her brother was going to see the pictures! At least it would be something to talk about at the next family dinner.

Finally, the meeting ended and she raced over to her computer, to see another daunting message: People had been commenting on the pictures.

That’s not a good sign. Taking a deep breath, she looked at the pictures.

OK, the first few weren’t too bad: Just her and some teammates at the kickball game and then at the bar hanging out, playing flip cup. They certainly were nothing to be upset about. She noticed that in one picture she seems to be talking kind of closely with that creepy guy on the blue team who always flirts with her. She untagged the picture so that he didn’t get the wrong idea.

This week the Ramblings offer an Aesop fable:

Kickball and Regret in the Age of

Facebook – A short story by Mike Lacy



She groaned internally as she looked at the next picture. Creepy guy had his arm around her, and they’re both smiling widely. She untagged that one as well, praying that she didn’t give out her number or do anything embarrassing with him. Those prayers go unanswered as the next picture showed the two of them making out at the flip cup table. She thought that it couldn’t get any worse until she saw the following picture where she’s giving the finger to the camera while making out. Meanwhile, he’s giving the “shocker” sign with his hand. Naturally, this picture already had ten comments.

She then noticed that she had a new friend request and sure enough, it was her makeout buddy. She had never clicked the Ignore button faster.

Later in the day, the “funny” guy on her team decided to write an email about her drunken

exploits, helpfully linking to the pictures. Thanks to him, anyone on the team who hadn’t already seen the pictures now knew the situation.

One of her co-workers walked by and said with a smirk “Looks like you had a good night last night.” Fortunately, her co-worker had the good sense not to forward the pictures around the office,

because she would have had to kill him if he had.

By the end of the day, things seemed to have died down. The Facebook comments stopped and the email chain about the incident died down. She left work and headed to the gym to attempt to burn off the frustration. After a killer workout, she returned to her apartment where she encountered her grinning roommate Liz. Jennifer asked Liz not to give her any grief

about last night. Liz assured her that she would not, but told her that she might want to check Facebook to see the pictures of the trip home

that she had posted.

Jennifer dashed to her computer and fired up Facebook in record time. There was a picture of her leaning against the wall on the Metro, and a few shots of her and another friend on the street. The next picture was of them walking towards McDonalds. And apparently, there was a statue of Ronald

McDonald outside, which explained why she thought that someone might have been dressed as Ronald at the bar.

She was actually a bit pleased that she had solved that mystery, but that feeling of pleasure didn’t last long, as the next picture showed her making out with the statue of Ronald. That picture was bad, but not as bad as the next picture where she was making out with the statue while grabbing its crotch.

At this point, she despondently turned off the computer. She stormed into the kitchen while staring down her roommate and poured herself a healthy glass of wine. She retreated into her bedroom to watch TV and plot revenge on her roommate. Her thoughts were interrupted by a text message from her brother: “Jen u need help.”

As she screamed internally, she swore to herself that she would never drink again. Or at least, she would do her drinking where nobody had cameras.

Winter 2010 - Week 5


“You can’t do that, this isn’t

Vietnam. This is the Boomerang Bus...there are rules”

David M., Drinking You Pretty

“A bar is a really weird

place to have a March of

Dimes sign”Maggie, CHICKEN

TETRAZZINI!!

“If you don’t just kiss and tell, we’re all going to assume that you

had butt sex in the bathroom.”

Maggie, CHICKEN TETRAZZINI!!

come play with U.S.

What’s better than Skeeball in an arcade? Skeeball in a bar! Come join DC’s hottest new social club and enjoy 8 weeks of intense Skeeball action, player food and drink discounts, sweet t-shirts, and awesome prize giveaways.

With leagues across the city, playing Sunday

that’s right for you!

Choose from 4 convenient locations:

OPEN!SPRING SKEESON to join visit

www.UnitedSkeeball.com

for more information visit www.UnitedSkeeball.com

“All these people are doing something with

their lives. We are wasted in another

city at noon.”Elizabeth S., Drinking

You Pretty

http://www.unitedskeeball.com



GameRECAPS

SundayIn the early

games, Terribly Sex-ies took down For the Love, 23–15,

while CHICKEN TETRAZZINI!! didn’t fare very well against Alcoballics, losing 17–9. The Brew was told Paratroop had a score of “uo” against DMGs, so we’re going to assume DMGs won, 26–uo, and Chaos in a Box lost a close one to Never Nudes, 15–14. In the later games, Mouthbreathin’ Motorboatin’ Mofos also had a close win against Morally Casual, 8–6, and Suck my Kick had a big loss to Stumbling Home Headfirst, 27–14. Trainwreck, Party of 20 took down Deceptacles, 24–18, and Alcoholkicks beat up on P-town Ballas, winning 21–13.

ThursdayV=(4/3)πr3 beat up pretty hard on Legen...wait

for it...dary, 15–4, while neither Xtacles nor Kickin’ Balls and Takin’ Names get bragging rights, ending in a tie 22–22. Spitzer Swallows fell to Looking to Score, 21–15, and Drinking You Pretty had a big margin of victory against Jolly Blue Balls, winning 31–16.

Bacon Boner took down Boobie Brigade, 21–12, while Ro Sham Bo beat In Balls We Trust, 20–14. Where my Pitches at had an oddly low-scoring game, beating Kick in a Box 10–4, and finally Russian Earmuffs just asked We Scored Last Night to bend over, beating them soundly 29–4.

Sunday, Feb. 28CHICKEN TETRAZZINI!! v. Paratroop 2:30 PMThe Never Nudes v. The Terribly Sexies 2:30 PMAlcoballics v. DMGs 3:15 PMChaos in a Box v. For the Love 3:15 PMMorally Casual v. Stumbling Home Headfirst 4:00 PMDeceptacles v. P-town Ballas 4:00 PMMMMofo's v. Suck My Kick 4:45 PMAlcoholkicks v. Trainwreck, Party of 20 4:45 PMThursday, March 4V=(4/3)πr3 v. Jolly Blue Balls 6:30 PMKickin Balls and Takin Names v. Looking To Score 6:30 PMSpitzer Swallows v. Xtacles 7:15 PMLegen...wait for it...Dary v. Drinking You Pretty 7:15 PMBoobie Brigade v. The Russian Earmuffs 8:00 PMKick In a Box v. In Balls We Trust 8:00 PMWhere My Pitches At v. Ro Sham Bo 8:45 PMBacon Boner v. We Scored Last Night 8:45 PM



The Weekly Brew

O Oh Sunday, hang your head in shame. Lower. . . . Lower. . . . Okay, right there. The 8-Ball heard there was but one lone team partying it up on Sunday, so we devote Sunday’s rankings to you, DMGs, for stepping up when everyone else wussed out. On the other hand, Thursday, you can feel less shame! Lots of flip cup action was going on at the bar, and certainly tons of drinking and team mingling. For this week, the 8-Ball only feels that Thursday is worthy of its prognostication, so we answer this question: “Would my team win in a match-up against a Sunday team?”

Sunday1. DMGs – Between skins vs. shirts flip cup, and playing for several hours straight, you’re the team on top this week, and probably the one to beat since no one else has any practice! Thanks for making Sunday fun!!16. Everyone else.

Thursday1. Kickin’ Balls and Takin’ Names – “Outlook good!” Not just for playing, but for relentless lobbying of the 8-Ball.2. Xtacles – “All signs point to yes.” Can always be counted on to be on the tables.3. Where My Pitches At – “Dave Whalen would.” But he’s not on your team. C’mon 8-Ball, get with it.4. Drinking You Pretty – “Jesus would.” And he did have the greatest flip cup team ever.5. Spitzer Swallows – “Outlook good.” Looking good out there! 6. Bacon Boners – “Bring me a beer and I’ll think about it.” The 8-Ball enjoys bacon.7. Legen...wait for it...dary – “Maybe.” You have a LOTW, now take advantage!8. Jolly Blue Balls – “You’re dead inside.” But you hang at the bar to come back to life.9. We Scored Last Night – “Pay me first.” And maybe try going to the bar?10. Kick in a Box – “Things aren’t looking good for you.” The 8-Ball will figure out who you are one of these days.11. V=(4/3)πr3 – “Maybe.” Because the 8-Ball has a very hazy picture of who you are.12. Looking to Score – “Pay me first.” Sounds like you need to pay homage and play a bit first.13. Boobie Brigade – “Nope.” You got the players to the bar, now actually play!14. In Balls We Trust – “Not looking good.” Drinking but no drinking GAMES. 15. Ro Sham Bo – “Definitely not.” Sitting and drinking alone.16. Russian Earmuffs – “Not in a million years.” Yikes.

the official weekly magazine of nakid weeklybrew1974 he was promoting foreman and ali’s “rumble...

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