The HCOS WeeklyVol. 2 Edition 17

Jazzannah

Kristina and Davin

Jesse (source: @orangegrub)

An Article By Jennica Wlodarczyk

Here we are once again. It's the end of the school year, and as the majority of the HCOS world is fin-ishing up finals and grading last as-signments, we at the paper have taken some time to reflect upon the year and appreciate each oth-ers' efforts. It's not an easy task to balance schoolwork, family life, church, part-time jobs, and con-tributing to the paper all at once. For this great feat, I the editor, Jen-nica Wlodarczyk, would like to thank everyone who's taken part in this student-run project.

But before I get ahead of myself with mournful goodbyes and heart-wrenching stories, I'd like to wish all of you readers a well-de-

served relaxing summer. Explore the world, whether that includes traveling across the country or walking to the park. There's always something worth doing out there; sometimes you just have to shut down your iPod to get to it. You people have stayed with us through thick and thin (namely, 16-page editions and those nasty four-pagers), and for that we are all truly grateful. To the graduates, great job! To those who haven't quite escaped the system, you can do it! No matter what you put your mind to, embrace the moment and have fun doing it. Ater all, you've only got one life to live, and this summer has the potential to be a huge part of it.

Now we'll get into the heartfelt stuff. Each and every one of the HCOS Weekly staff has contributed something great this year, whether it was a stream of regular content or a once-in-a-while literary gem. For those of you who didn't con-

tribute much, don't feel let out. You know how much I appreciate everything you send me, whether it's an awesome photograph or some wild article about digestion. (I'm looking at you, Genevieve.) Before I get specific, you guys are all wondrous, and you really need to know that.

Jazzannah my dear, you are the life of the paper's never-ending party. Thank you so much for all of your quirky submissions. They made me grin more oten than not, and I'm one thousand and nine percent sure that the readers loved them too.

Deanna, you are the calm to the rest of our storms. I apologize for the endless dance parties and nag sessions in the chatroom; but hey, at least you've got the power to chill the rest of us out when we're getting to rowdy. (We know you en-joy it deep down inside.) Thanks for the quality photographs and

The End is Near and Thanks is Here

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Joshua and Adley

Jubilee (source: @ohsnapitsjubs)

nice, long articles that come when I'm really in a rut.

Comic Guy, brother, artist extraor-dinaire... Josh. Hey, Josh. Thanks for being the most consistent Weekly member to date. Your comics, whether they're about su-perheroes or that buck-toothed homeschooler, are always a joy to add to the paper. We could say there are no strings on you. (But re-ally, we'd be lying, as clothes are made out of strings. I win.)

Eva, the newest addition to our lit-tle family of newspaper people! I must say, you've surprised me with something new at every turn. You've handed in book reports, fun fact lists, pictures, and more. Thanks for everything you've brought to the team.

Kristina! Oh man, I can't believe you're graduating. You'll always be my Dr. Wise, (as the title of Who is already taken) and I am so grateful for all of the mental support you've given me this year. While the sub-missions have been few, your en-thusiasm and hugs definitely make up for it.

Another old person (ahem, I mean graduate), Davin! Like Kristina, you've been busy this year, but you've inspired many projects and articles, as well as posing gracious-ly for pictures we published in the CHEC edition. Thank you so much for all of your help, bro.

Jubilee, this paper would not be what it is without your guidance and PDF-saving skills. Although you're a busy art school person now, you have helped me out by making the paper prettier and lis-tening to me rant about each month's horrid lack of content. You have the power to show me the good in everything all the while re-alizing that things are silly. Thanks a million.

And let's have a round of applause for the resident artist/philosophi-cal thinker/YouTuber, Jesse! His TV show review are both humorous

and easy to relate to, and let's face it, anime versions of HCOS kids are fabulous. Thanks for everything, man.

Genevieve, your articles are my personal favourite. Your sense of humour is impeccable, as shown by your taste in Weekly LOL pic-tures. There is so much more I'd love to know about the world... All of the things they never taught us in school... Now I have a resource better than Wikipedia. Thank you for that!

Megan, you're the Weeky writer in my books no matter what. Even though you're a fancy-dancy pub-lic schooler now, you still made an effort to hand in Verse of the Week submissions before school turned

Megan (source: ohsnapitsmegs_27)

Taria and Jennica

Genevieve (source: Facebook)

3The HCOS Weekly

Eva (source: Ning)

BEACH BALL FUN OCEAN SAND SCHOOL BREAK SUMMER SUMMER VACATION SURF

Patchwork Castle (an amazing 8-hour art project) - Deanna Burmatoff

Melody (source: Ning)"Summer" by Melody Brocke

crazy. You rock, girl.

Adley wrote probably 75% of the serious HCOS Weekly content this year. Thank you so much for al-ways being able to whip up an amazing article on some current event half of us never even knew existed. We both know that the surprise factor is great, man.

Crossword puzzles are a huge part

of newspapers everywhere, and I am utterly grateful to Melody for bringing this authentic piece of newspaperization to our awkward little group.

Taria, the Fiona Malena article is still one of my most cherished pieces of the HCOS Weekly's histo-

ry. Thank you so much for your participation this year. Whenever you submit something, you make sure that it's top notch (a quality I admire in you).

Each and every one of you is super

duper awesome, and let me say again that it's been an utmost joy working with you this year. I couldn't imagine it working with-out each and every one of you, so thanks again for another great year with the Weekly! Enjoy your sum-

mer, and may God bless.

Deanna

Word Search

4 The HCOS Weekly

Purple Flower and Forget-Me-Nots (artwork by Deanna Burmatoff)

Hourglass (a pencil, ink, and charcoal artwork by Deanna Burmatoff)

Dear Editor,

Ounce opun a tim, ther wus a pa-per clip. This paper clip liked to clip things. Then one day, the oner of the paper clip was going to chuk it. The paper clip was mad. It want-ed to be in the HCOS Weekly, since it was called a "paper" clip, and the HCOS Weekly is an online

news'papre'. The paper clip clipped onto a random piece of pa-per, then dyed of old age. The End! I made this paper clip's dream come true, for it made it to the paepr.

Sincrly,

Seabiscuit

Dear Seabiscuit,

Are you aware that you are named ater a famous racehorse? Thank you for blessing us all with that in-ventive story. I was not aware that the HCOS Weekly is an online "news-papre." Thanks again for this nugget of information.

Sincerely,

Editor

An Article By Jennica Wlodarczyk

Dear Editor,

I was wondering, what's it like be-ing an editor? Is it fun? Is it very tir-ing? Are the people in your paper group very helpful? Do you like cake? Aren't you scared that if Davin gives Jazzannah a knife for her birthday, things will get scary? Do you pay your employees? Are you busy oten? Do you like pan-cakes? Do you like waffles? Do you like French toast? Do you know how to fall asleep? Do you have dreams that you're in a coma?

Sincerely,

Amonymous

Dear Amonymous,

First of all, thank you very much for writing this letter! I haven't received one in a very long time. Being an editor is a very busy job, but it does help me gain credits for my IDS 11 course as well as giving me the op-

portunity to hang out with awe-some people. The Weekly team is very helpful, yes, and we all love cake. If the thought even crossed Davin's mind to give Jazzannah a knife for her birthday, I would tell him to wait until his skills were ultimate so that he could make one for her when she's older. I am a fairly busy person. I am a pastor's kid, so lots of church volun-teering happens throughout the week. Schoolwork and work are also quite time-consuming. I pay my employees with kind re-gards and reminders to submit their articles. YES WE LIKE PANCAKES! YES WE LIKE WAFFLES! YES WE LIKE FRENCH TOAST! DADADAADAAAAA! I'm pretty sure that someone's going to judge me for my more-than-likely failure to remember the words of that song. Oh well. Sometimes I dream that I'm magi-cal. Maybe I'm in a coma; who knows? Thank you for your odd but amus-ing questions!

Sincerely,

Editor

Letters to the Editor

5The HCOS Weekly

By Jennica Wlodarczyk and the HCOS Weekly Family

This article is going to need a little bit of explaining, so please bear with me before the funny part be-gins! Near the end of the school year, the team and I got together, trying to figure out how to make the final edition of this year's pa-per fun and memorable. Ater about seven minutes of excessive brainstorming, we came up with the idea of interviewing each other. Everyone sent me two inter-view-style questions. I then ran-domized the questions and sent two out to each participant. No one (apart from myself) knows who asked the questions that they were assigned to answer. There-fore, this publication will be the first time the Weekly members see each others' answers to questions they asked! Please enjoy this quirky, random, hilarious interview montage.

Jazzannah's Answers

1. What is your favourite child-hood memory? Taking a trip to Al-berta with my Aunt and Uncle, when I was 11/12ish. We spent 3 hours in the Royal Tyrell Museum, and still didn't see all of it.2. How old is that pencil you were just holding? Please wish it a late happy birthday for me. I actually did not have a pencil in my hand, it was a pen named Tim.

Tim was about 3 years old, the old-est of any of my pens! And she thanks you kindly, and wishes you a happy late/early birthday as well.

Jubilee's Answers

1. What colour socks are you wearing right now? My socks are heather gray with a giraffe and a bear on it, and they have puffy socklips. They're the best. 2. If you found out there was a person disguised as a fly con-stantly on your wall, what would you do to that fly? If there was a FlyPerson on my wall...I would crush it ASAP because I am petri-fied of flies buzzing around me. Watch out, FlyPerson. I won't have mercy.

Joshua's Answers

1. What is the most Canadian thing you've ever done? At the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics I stepped on a shoe or a piece of

garbage, turned around and said sorry. I then realized that I just apologized to an inanimate object. 2. Which word do you find the most intriguing: "pumpkin" or "spaghetti? I find spaghetti more intriguing. It's a much more... stringy... word.

Jennica's Answers

1.If you were an ant that thought like a human, would you share food or take food out of the oth-er ant's stomachs? Um, hello, I would become Ant-Man. If I ever decided to become a villainous in-sect, I'd go by Anti-Man. How does that sound? 2.What is the weirdest thing you have ever done? You want me to pick just one? Well, I guess using a handmade knife to cut my crating paper could be categorized as "weird." In my opinion, I think it's actually rather useful.

Taria's Answers

1. If you could go to dinner with anyone from your favourite TV show, who would it be? Got that in your mind? Great. Now tell us what would happen if you were paid to scientifically alter that character into a unicorn. Well that's a hard one. But I think I would go with the main actor of Sherlock, Benedict Cumberbatch. Now whoever asked this question threw a wrench at me but thank-

The HCOS Weekly Interview Project

6 The HCOS Weekly

fully we have a crazy/imaginative fandom. So it's easy enough for me to picture him as a unicorn. I imag-ine he would show John XD. I also think he would still have fabulous hair and personality. I can't see him being happy when Lestrade found out though. 2. How would you market golf balls, if golf itself no longer exist-ed? Golf balls are great for the home! Your kids will play with them and annoy you by bouncing them around on concrete. For a limited time only, you can step on them and break your ankle! Golf balls are also useful for throwing in lakes, leaving in parks, and hitting people with. For a limited time only you can order your 6 dozen golf balls and get the 7th dozen completely free! Call now toll free at 250-268-GOLF; that is 250-268-GOLF. If you call within the next 5 minutes you can get a 2% discount on your order. BUT if you call in the next 10 seconds you get free ship-ping! Call now at 250-268-GOLF; that is 250-268-GOLF. You now only have 4.35 seconds to call toll free and get a 2% discount, in only a matter of days you could have golf balls all around your home, call now at 250-268-GOLF. You can come into our store buy our used golf balls in egg cartoons for a lim-ited price only. Check out our web-site golfgolf.org to find our clear-ance prices. Remember, you can call now and get our limited offer of 6 dozen golf balls with the 7th dozen free if you call with 2.12 sec-onds at 250-268-GOLF.

Melody's Answers

1. What is the strangest dream you've ever had? The one where my parents stole One Directions limo, I met the president of the United States and the Prime Minis-

ter of Canada, and had the best dessert EVER. (Yes, this all hap-pened in the same dream...) 2. What was your most embar-rassing moment? Last fall, some-one asked me how old I was. I'm used to being asked what grade I'm in, so I promply answered "nine".

Davin's Answers

1. What weapon would you choose to bring to the Hunger Games? I'd probably bring some-thing simple but effective. Guns are only good when you have am-munition, and the same goes for bows. So I'd use a tomahawk, I could fight with it and also use it to survive! 2. If you were in charge of a dead body how and where would you deal with it? Also, who would you tell? Hmmm well I'd probably feed the body to some flesh eating bugs to clean off the skeleton and eat the clothing, and then I'd crush the skeleton up into a fine powder and scatter it through someone's garden!

Megan's Answers

1. What is the state of your sock drawer? It's like a tropical forest in there. So many different types of socks everywhere in no particular order.2. How many times have you been bitten by a piraña? Unless piranhas bite you mentally I've never been bitten by one. But if they do bite mentally... That ex-plains a lot.

Jesse's Answers

1. What is your guilty pleasure Disney movie? Lion King . . . the sequel2. Do platypus' have ears? Defi-nitely, how else do they hear Major Monogram, or enjoy their individu-alized them song jingles?

Deanna's Answers

1. Do you prefer traditional Scot-tish songs or traditional Brazilian Samba? Ater listening to each type of music on Youtube, here are my thoughts on each. I like the lilt and accent of the Scottish songs, and bagpipes are cool too xD The Brazilian samba music reminds me of the movie Rio. Hmm... I'm not sure which I like better. It would be nice to know what exactly they are singing in the songs. :P But I think my preference would have to de-pend on my mood at the time. Scottish songs tend to be slower and calming, while Brazilian music is faster and more "active". So I like both; both types are really nice :)

2. If you were shipwrecked on a deserted island, and could bring with you any three things, what would you chose? A TARDIS!! And nothing else, assuming the Doctor came with the TARDIS, hehe. JK xD But thinking practically, I would choose matches, a sealable con-tainer, and a knife. A friend would also be nice ;) And string. String is good. I think it would be fun to be stranded on a deserted island. Well, maybe not stranded, but let

7The HCOS Weekly

on the island and picked up again ater a short while, haha.

Adley's Answers

1. Your life now has commercial breaks. Which ads would they be? No way, I get commercial breaks! Do I get music to go with my life too? Maybe some montage music as I make a meal or some-thing. Anyway, I would only allow the best commercials, like Sauza 901 or You Just Got Milked. 2. Would you rather brush your teeth with shampoo or hair gel? Depends on which one tastes worse. Although I would guess that Shampoo has the lesser chance of poisoning me, so I would choose that.

Genevieve's Answers

1. You live in a world where peo-ple can't edit or delete miswrit-ten/misspelled words; they can only go to the next line. Today you decided to write a letter to the force that keeps stealing socks inside your drier. How does it go?

Dear Malecvolent but Unknown Force:

I am writing this in response to your actions as of late, which I be-lieve consist of inequitable and un-provoked aggression. Specifically, Sir/Madam, in regards to the fol-lowing: in the past three (3) weeks, I have counted seven distinct cases wherein a sock, having entered the drier with peaceful intentions and no intent to harm, has been taken prisoner. This is not honourouble, and I shall not stand for it. Please desist such actions immediately, or I shall commence disciplinary ac-

tions.

Sincerely,

GEN

2. What is one thing you look for-ward to ater graduation? Ehh, I'm hoping to travel a bit. But to be entirely honest, I can't think that far ahead...for now I'm pretty fo-cused on just getting through this year, and then next. I guess the thought of not having structure ap-peals to me? It'll be nice to be able to not follow a schedule (for a little while, anyhow).

Eva's Answers

1. Have you heard about the bird? I have heard about the bird. Actually, a really cool fact is the bird was made on day 5. Genesis 1:20: "Then God said, "Let the wa-ters teem with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth in the open expanse of the heavens."2. What was your favourite thought today? I think my favourite thought, today, was... hmmmm... oh yay, my thought of yesterday.

Kristina's Answers

1. How many days ago was your birthday? My birthday was too many days ago to count. December was like half a year ago...

2. Describe a moment when you felt like a stereotypical home-schooler surrounded by public schoolers (no "doing school in pajamas", something a little more original please), and why that was. I was at work not too long ago and the people that I work with are all public schoolers or graduated. So we were talking

about grad and stuff and they all start talking about exams and teachers (quite a few of them are from the same schools) and I'm just sitting there listening. Then someone asks me how I felt about graduating not knowing most of my grad class… I was like, wow… yeah it's weird, but I've never known any different. They kept go-ing on about how grad wouldn't be the same if you didn't grad with your best friends… Then there's me sitting there like yeah ok! Sure! Yup! Mhmm!

Art by Joshua Wlodarczyk

8 The HCOS Weekly

Photo taken by Jennica Wlodarczyk, Grade 11

Photo taken by Deanna Burmatoff, Grade 11

Photo taken by Deanna Burmatoff, Grade 11

Student Photo & Art Gallery

9The HCOS Weekly

Photo taken by Deanna Burmatoff, Grade 11

Photo taken by Deanna Burmatoff, Grade 11

10 The HCOS Weekly

Photo taken by Deanna Burmatoff, Grade 11

Project Sneaky

Eva

By Eva Umana and the rest of the Team

Jennica (or as we call her, Jenn), the most amazing editor, (and a pretty cool person) has led the HCOS Weekly team through a great year. I asked a few people from the HCOS Weekly team to write what they thought of Jennica; unfortu-nately, notice was a little late and I didn't receive many replies. Any-way, the point is Jennica is so awe-some. Here is what I got as a reply:

Jennica. You my friend are a super-hero. I don't know anyone else in the world who can juggle home-schooling, that many siblings and household responsibilities, as well as carry the workload for the HCOS

Weekly! You are the backbone to our virtual printing press, and with-out you - it would just be a big pile of skin and guts! (Sorry for the nasty description.) But it's not just the re-sponsibilities to the paper that make you superhuman. It's the sim-ple letters you write, the cards you send to people and the gits that you mail… that move big men like me to tears. I am proud that the HCOS Weekly could receive an edi-tor such as yourself. You have gone above and beyond in filling in Ju-bilee's role, which at the time I didn't think was possible, yet you exceeded my wildest expectations! Thanks for keeping the Weekly alive :) With all the things that you do, the only possible solution must be that… you've gotten ahold of Navid's TARDIS! I know, I've finally figured it out XD took me long enough.

-Jesse Ongkili

Jenn, a big thank you for every-thing you do. Like, seriously; you do so much for the HCOS Weekly, from reminding us to get our ar-ticles and submissions in on time, to writing up fillers, to sympathizing with us busy on-line-high-schoolers who have ex-ams, to encouraging us whenev-er we need it. It is so amazing how you are able to juggle all the duties of editorial and all your school subjects as well! You are a truly gited person, and God will for sure use you for something totally awesome :D Thank you so much. May God continue to bless and strengthen you as you finish up your last years with HCOS, and aterwards too! :)

-Indeanna Jones ;)

Dear Jennica,

I cannot thank you enough for read-ily volunteering to take my place as editor that day. I was worried that the paper would fall to inexperi-

Photo taken by Deanna Burmatoff, Grade 11

Photo taken by Deanna Burmatoff, Grade 11

11The HCOS Weekly

enced hands and crumble away. So if it weren't for you, the paper prob-ably wouldn't be a thing anymore! You've put so much effort into being Editor, and it shows :D Thank you for everything, dearie. You're an in-spiration to many.

xx Jubs

Hey Jenn! Thanks for all the amazing work you do week ater week to get this paper done! We all know it's no small task to get homeschoolers to stick to a s c h e d u l e o f s u b m i t t i n g articles :P I hope that this year has been a good one for you and then next year will be even bet-ter!

~Davin

Jenn is an amazingly fantabulous human being. She's one of my (many, but equally loved) sisters from other misters, and I seriously have no clue what I'd do if I never met her. She's always willing to be there and give a helping hand, whether I need to rant about some-thing that happened that day, or if I need someone to proof read some-thing I've written. She is beautiful, intelligent, spectacular, and any other words that mean she is an in-credible human. Love ya, Jenn!

- Jazzannah

Amazing job on the paper Jenni-ca! We have all enjoyed writing for and reading the HCOS weekly, thank you for making the whole thing possible. The pa-per has made my day numerous times, with articles on Hungari-an Goulash, the history of belts, the weekly LOL and of course Josh's comics. Everyone is in-credibly grateful for all the work you put into the weekly, you did an amazing job. Many Thanks, Adley

Thank you to the editor and the whole team here for another great year with the HCOS Weekly! I had an amazing year with all you guys and I can't thank you enough. Enjoy the summer! ~The Comic Guy

Jenn, here's a HUGE ginormous thank-you for all the work that you do - your efforts and dedica-tion have kept this paper run-ning, and we couldn't possibly do it without you. Thank you so much for your commitment (and for keeping us all in line) - you're a fabulous editor. Enjoy your summer break, you deserve it! - Genevieve

Jenn and her fabulous sister, Samara

Eye of the Needle

An Article By Eva Umana

Hello everyone! A sad day has come. The end of the year is near, and now you are depressed, be-cause you had to see me try to rhythm. Anyway, who has heard of the eye of a needle? Of course, in Matthew 19:23-24, Jesus said, " ...to His disciples, "Truly I say to

you, it is hard for a rich man to en-ter the kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." I am not sure how many of you have heard of this but, there is a theory, (amaz-ing right?) that Jesus was not refer-ring to an actual needle! Some people believe it was actually a ref-erence to a gate. This gate was called the "eye of a needle." This gate was so tight (as you can see from the drawing) that the camel would have to squeeze into, and out of the gate. Although I started with the impression that I was go-ing to discuss the eye of the needle, I am really going to talk a little about the faith of a Christian. I remember hearing so many times about how God opens a door, and we choose to go through it or not, but here is a new perspective I see now.

Image yourself as the camel trying to fit through a gate-which, was most likely, smaller than the draw-ing above -- 3 times smaller than you... Obviously not going to be comfortable. Anyway, imagine riches on the other side, like heaven... Really, what I am saying here is even though it seems easier to sin and go through a wide open "gate" with nothing but sand on the other side, the slim, "hard" almost closed "gate" has riches beyond compare.

12 The HCOS Weekly

By Jennica Wlodarczyk

Hey guys! I hope this final edition of the 2014-2016 HCOS Weekly has been enjoyable for you. We had so much fun creating it, and are very excited to take the summer off and be back with you next year. As many of you may know, next year will be my Grade 12 year, which means that my final courses and graduation are only a short year away. Since the year will undoubt-edly busy, I will be training up a few of our younger HCOS students so that the paper has hope of sur-vival once I graduate. If any of you are interested in joining the team next year or know someone who might be, please contact me at hcosweekly@outlook.com. I'd like to keep the upcoming editors with a steady flow of content, and any-thing submitted is an enormous help!

As a final note, since we didn't in-clude a Bible article in this edition, I'd like to encourage you all to go find your own verse of the week.

Hearing what Deanna, Megan, or I have to say is great, but there is nothing more profound than studying God's Word for yourself and finding verses that speak di-rectly to your heart. Remember,

you don't have to read for crazy long hours every day in order to be connected to God; simply know that if you make an effort to talk to Him once a day, whether it's through praying, reading, or simply thinking about Him, your life will

be filled with the potential of healthy change. And honestly, it's summertime. We all have some ex-tra time on our hands; why not use a few minutes of it every day to re-member our true intentions, our spiritual roots?

Next year, Deanna and I plan to publish more regular Verse of the Week-style reminders to do some searching yourself! And since we're both graduating next year and will be be seen as very old, make sure to respect your elders and take our words with some thought. (Seven-teen is old, right?)

Thank you all so much for your support and enthusiasm this past year. I hope to see you all in the coming year, both as readers and as contributors! May God bless you all this year, and may you finish your courses with as little stress as possible. Until next year.

HCOS Weekly 2015-2016 Notice

Weekly LOL