The Four Stages

Stage I: Set The Frame

1. Psychology of Authority

A smooth-running civilization depends on a structure of authority figures.

• Beginning with our parents, from the time we’re very young, we’re taught to obey and listen to authority figures. Much of our reaction to authority figures is subliminal and we don’t recognize it or question it. Childhood stories and bible stories reinforce the need for obedience to authority so strongly that it’s a subliminal response for most people.

• Most of the time, respect for authority is a good thing, but sometimes our unwavering obedience to authority can cause problems.

There are leaders and there are followers. Physicians, psychologists, policemen, industry experts, government and military leaders, security guards, teachers, parents, business leaders, and employers are all authority figures at different levels.

• Authority figures are frequently not questioned even when they should be. Nurses rarely question doctors and this leads to a rate of 12% incorrect, possibly life-threatening, prescriptions in hospitals. Experiments show that nurses don’t use their own thinking power when carrying out orders from physicians, because physicians are seen as having ultimate authority.

The Milgram Experiment is probably the most famous experiment ever performed regarding the subject of authority.

• Stanley Milgram, a psychologist at Yale, set up an experiment to see whether people would obey an “authority figure” instead of following their own conscience. The experiments were started in 1961, a year after the trial of the Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann. Milgram wanted to know if Nazi soldiers could use the excuse “just following orders” for the atrocities they had committed.

• In Milgram’s experiment, an authority, a science researcher in a grey lab coat, told individuals that they would either be teachers or learners in a science experiment on learning and memory. They supposedly drew lots to see who would be the teachers, but the lots were fixed so that the participants only became teachers. The learners were actors but the participant teachers weren’t aware of this. When the authority asked them to administer shocks to the learners when they got questions wrong, the teacher participants did this willingly even though it was paining them and causing them a great deal of stress to do so. They kept doing so, even when they thought they were giving very high levels of electrical shock to the learners—shocks that could have killed them.

• The results of Milgram’s experiments were truly frightening. Over 2/3 of the participants continued to give shocks all the way to the point where the learners would have been killed. No one expected these results and the experiment was done many times across all varying demographics with the same results. Milgram explained the participants’ behavior by categorizing social behavior into two states: autonomous and agentic. In the autonomous state, people direct their own actions and take responsibility for the consequences. In the agentic state, people allow others to direct their actions and then pass off the responsibility for the consequences to the authority giving the orders. In other words, they act as agents for another person’s will. In order to enter the agentic state, the person giving the orders must be perceived as qualified to direct other people’s behavior. In other words, they must be seen as legitimate and credible. The other condition is that the person who is acting as an agent believes that the authority will take all the responsibility for the consequences of the act.

Milgram continued to hone the experiment to discover which factors influenced the response of obedience to orders from an authority.

• Uniform: The obedience level dropped to 20% when the experimenter with the grey lab coat was replaced with a person in street clothes. Uniforms impact our perception of authority.

• Location: He ran the experiment in run-down offices instead of at the impressive offices at Yale. Obedience dropped from 65% to 47.5%. Status of location affects obedience.

• Using an Assistant: When participants could use an assistant to administer the shocks, over 92% used the electric shocks to the maximum 450 volts. When there is less personal responsibility for the consequences of the actions, obedience to authority increases.

Milgram also found that proximity of the consequences and proximity of the authority had an impact on the participants’ behavior. Social support made a difference as well.

• Touch Proximity: The participant was asked to put the learner’s hand into a shock plate when the learner refused to put his hand in at the level of 150 volts. Obedience to the authority fell to 30% because the participant was no longer sheltered from the results of his/her actions.

• Social Support: When two other actors were introduced who refused to obey, the real participant also refused to obey. The presence of others who reject the orders from the authority, reduced the level of obedience to 10%.

• Absent Experimenter: When the experimenter instructed and prompted the teacher participant by telephone from another room, obedience fell to 20.5%. Participants cheated and didn’t shock the learners or gave them less voltage than they had been instructed to give. Clearly, the proximity of the authority figure affects obedience to authority. (Any parent who tries to give their child directives over the phone knows this!)

Symbols of Authority Impact Our Perception

• In another social experiment, a man entered a classroom and was introduced as a professor. Later, students were asked to report on how tall the man was. They guessed him to be 2 inches taller than he actually was! In another classroom he was introduced as a student and when students were asked to report on his height, they gave an accurate picture.

• In yet another experiment, a well-dressed businessman started to walk across the street when the light was red. Others followed this man because they perceived him to be a leader.

Titles and ranks impact our perception that someone is an authority. Uniforms, such as those worn by the police and security, have an impact on our perception as well. Even the clothes worn by a high-powered business executive can have an effect on our perception of that person.

• Sometimes a person isn’t really an authority at all, but people perceive he or she is through a transfer. The actor Robert Young, who played Dr. Marcus Welby on television, was asked to do a commercial on the health benefits of decaf coffee. It was a very popular commercial that sold lots of coffee even though Young was never a doctor in real life!

2. Persona and Positioning

All of us are different people in different circumstances.

You don’t present yourself the same way to your high-school buddies as you do to your boss, to a potential investor, or to an audience waiting to hear your advice. Just as an actor prepares for a role by dressing a certain way or researching the background of his/her character, you will present yourself in a specific way in order to show yourself as an authority and a leader in your field. This persona that you create will not be a façade or a mask. Instead, it will be an extension of yourself and will be based on the best parts of your personality and knowledge base. As you learn the skills that make you an authority and master persuader, you’ll employ those skills when needed throughout the day. Ultimately, they’ll become a comfortable extension of who you are.

• Most people can easily tell when a person is posturing or when a person is acting from a solid base of knowledge and experience. Authenticity is the key to creating a persona of authority. Creating a commanding presence will come from your own personal power base. It will take time to learn how to present yourself in a way that makes others want to listen to everything you say.

• Your personal appearance and grooming, your tone of voice, your communication skills, and the way you position yourself with posture, gestures, and mannerisms will all be deciding factors that determine whether you can persuade as an authority at the highest levels.

• People make almost immediate snap judgments about whether you are a person to be respected and listened to or not. Without any conscious processing, they make these judgments based on the way you look, the way you dress, the way you speak, your tone of voice, your gestures, your posture, your manners, and your mannerisms.

Grooming and Appearance

People who command attention and authority are smartly groomed. Just like the perfect setting for a glimmering diamond, their clothes enhance their personal features. You notice the man or woman, not their clothes.

• It’s been proven that attractiveness and height have an impact on your ability to be successful. However, we can’t all have movie star looks. The good news is that with some attention to detail we can all become better versions of ourselves.

• To present yourself as an authority, you’ll need to dress at least one step up from your clients or audience. In other words, if your client wears business casual to work, you would wear a tie and a blazer. You don’t want to look wildly divergent from the people you interact with, you just want to set yourself apart slightly so you can command attention.

• Your clothes, shoes, and haircut should be age-appropriate, modern, but not trendy, and show evidence of careful attention to detail—nothing old-fashioned, tired, worn, or frayed. A clean, well-pressed, orderly, attractive appearance is vital to gaining your audience’s attention. If you dress better regularly, it becomes a part of your feeling of self-confidence, which will have a positive impact on your persona.

Tone of Voice and Mastery of Communication Skills

Think about the last masterful speaker you listened to. His tone of voice was interesting and he had an air of experience and authority. She spoke with warmth and enthusiasm and paused for emphasis as she was telling an engaging story.

• An exercise you can do to improve your speech is to hum and get a sense of the part of your face that you use to do so. Where you feel the vibration is your facial mask. Halfway through humming, start to speak and you’ll get a feeling for how to improve the projection of your voice. Smiling while speaking also improves your voice quality.

• The speed of your voice is vitally important as well. People who speak very slowly are considered unsure or not too bright. Too fast and you’ll be perceived as scattered or high-pressure. By varying the speed and tone of your voice, you can make your message more appealing to your audience.

• Masterful speakers command authority. They work to remove filler words like “and, uh, you know” where an appropriately timed pause would suit the purpose much more effectively. They pronounce their words correctly. Listen to effective speakers and you’ll notice that they each develop a unique rhythm to their speech. This rhythm keeps the sound of their voices fresh so they can keep the audience engaged as they deliver their messages. Knowing your material inside and out will make you a more self-confident speaker as well.

Positioning, the Final Detailing of Your Persona

• You’re already presenting a good image in both appearance and tone of voice. What else can you do to command the room? Great posture and effective gestures are very important. Stay away from preening, cleaning, or nervous motion. Videotape yourself giving a presentation to see if you are able to move in a way that commands the stage, or if you have some distracting mannerisms you’re not aware of.

• Basic manners and knowing the principles of etiquette are also very important. Million-dollar presentations are frequently made around dinner and drinks.

• Everything you do and say is a part of your authority persona. Your body movements should reinforce a feeling of confidence instead of anxiety. Your goal is to get your audience to trust you and value you before you even speak. After you speak and deliver your message, you want that experience and that feeling to be heightened, not diminished.

The Three Keys to Effective Positioning

In addition to your own positioning you should work towards positioning your audience as well. Effective positioning consists of three key elements: Establishing your persona, positioning your audience appropriately, and offering your message in the form of a story.

• Establish your persona: Go through your checklist to ensure your persona is what you want to display. Clothing? Grooming? Expert Status and Title? Presentation Readiness? Stories Ready to Customize and Share with the Audience? You want your audience to see you as the solution to their problems.

• Share your story: Your stories should be built in chunks so that you can tailor them to the audience’s needs and desires. Recheck your audience and your story prior to your presentation to ensure you are hitting the target.

• Position your audience: Make sure your audience is the right audience. Do they match your ability level? Do they have the power to make decisions? You can develop the skill to influence almost any audience, but if that audience can’t act and help you move your desired goal forward, it will be a waste of your effort.

3. Credibility: What is it and why is it important?

In order to be seen as an authority figure, you must be able to convey a sense of credibility.

In order to understand what true credibility is, it helps to understand the connection in three major areas: persuasion versus influence, compliance versus conversion, and the impact of credibility on influence.

• Persuasion versus influence: With persuasion you use a set of strategies to get someone to do something you want them to do. Influence goes much deeper. Influence is a state of your identity and persona. It’s the presence you display to your customers, clients, or audience. Once you have influence, you gain conversion versus compliance, more easily.

• The impact of credibility on influence: Once you have influence, you can gain compliance and conversion because of your past achievements or simply because of who you are. There are many factors that create a persona of influence. Credibility is one of its main pillars.

• Compliance versus conversion: When an individual complies with something you’ve persuaded him or her to do, he/she performs an act because of social norms or rewards, but deep down it may or may not have impacted beliefs. Conversion is deeper. With conversion, your persona and influence has helped someone to buy into the message you offer. You become a symbol, a role model, for what that person wants to become. He or she may change his/her belief system to align with yours.

Attributes of an Influencer with Credibility

• Someone who is perceived as credible is seen by others as a leader. This person is trustworthy, smart, and knowledgeable. He or she is seen as extremely capable and experienced.

• For example, Oprah Winfrey and Tony Robbins are both influencers who have immense credibility with their audiences. Thousands of companies send products for Oprah’s review every year in the hopes that she’ll give her stamp of approval. Hundreds of people attend Tony’s workshops every year since he’s helped many people move forward and attain goals they thought were impossible.

• Reputation is an extremely powerful factor in whether you’ll be able to create a persona of influence and credibility. If you get a reputation for using strategies to manipulate people into doing things that don’t benefit them, eventually your reputation will precede you to the point that you won’t be capable of influencing others. It’s important to realize that influence isn’t always good. There have been leaders and influencers who have had evil intentions and have been able to get others to do their evil work for them as well.

The 6 factors in attaining credibility

In order to influence others, you must be credible. This essentially means that you’re capable of being believed, you’re worthy of confidence, and you’re trustworthy. The credible persona is strong in 6 different areas: competence, likeability, trustworthiness, expertise, composure, and social ability.

• Competence: To become a master influencer, you have to not only be competent, you have to be perceived by your audience or clients or subjects as someone who is competent. We’ve all known people who have an amazing depth of knowledge, but can’t convey their masterful knowledge to others. Your competency level and your ability to communicate your overall competency must be congruent.

• Trustworthiness: Can you walk the walk as well as talk the talk? People want to believe that you’ve encountered difficulties and found a way to persevere. Keeping your word and following through on goals despite obstacles are factors in your personal trustworthiness. Having honesty and ethics, and being able to demonstrate to others that you do, would be factors as well in building trustworthiness. When listening to presentations, your audience will be thinking of objections. If you address these objections even before you are asked, it will build your level of credibility as well.

• Likeability: We all want to do business with or have connections with people who we find likable. Likeability and trustworthiness go hand in hand. We usually don’t trust people who in our eyes aren’t likeable.

The 6 factors in attaining credibility (continued)

• Expertise: Formal education is only one way to develop this aspect of your persona. Your life and business experience also has an impact. Writing and publishing in your field and continuing your education are other ways. And, in the end, results trump everything else. No one cares whether you’ve graduated from college, if you’ve amassed a fortune and can teach others to do the same. When giving a presentation, be sure to use data and evidence to support your claims.

• Composure: Grace under pressure is important. How you handle a hostile subject can make your image or break it. Humor used carefully can help others to open their minds even if they don’t initially agree with you.

• Social Ability: Emotional intelligence and social ability are important to credibility as well. If you understand your target subjects because you’ve researched and done your homework, you’re more likely to be able to create win-win situations that will solve their burning issues and benefit you as well. If you are a good listener and can read body language well, you are well on your way to becoming a master of social situations.

People make decisions in different ways and the way you present yourself will influence whether they find you credible or not.

• Thinkers and Skeptics: Information and data are very important to thinkers because they analyze things and pull them apart before making decisions. Studies, analysis, research, and survey results will provide what the thinker needs to feel you are a credible source. Thinkers value logical arguments that flow from step to step. You need to be able to explain how you got to this part of your presentation in a logical, systematic way. If your answer isn’t sufficient, you’ll lose credibility in their eyes. Skeptics require that you be in their circle before you’re considered credible. Skeptics can be extremists. They either trust you and take you into their inner circle, or they decide you’re not worthy and shut you out. With the skeptic, it’s important to establish credibility as quickly as possible. An endorsement from someone the skeptic views as credible will make things smoother as you approach the independent-minded skeptic since he is not fond of authority.

• Followers and Leaders: Followers tend to avoid new solutions. They generally make decisions on what has worked before. The only way that a follower will make a change out of his/her comfort zone is when he/she is offered proof that a large number of people have succeeded by following the same process or making the same change. Supply strong proof that something works and you’ll be credible with a follower. Leaders are perfectionists and want to be in control. Your best course of action to have influence is to give them all the information they need to make a decision and supply them promptly with everything they request. In that way, they can take ownership of the idea and they can influence themselves to take action. Never rush a leader. He/she will become defensive and resistant even if you are perceived as a credible authority.

• Enthusiasts: Enthusiasts are very interactive people with little tolerance for the boring or mundane. You can’t give a long, drawn-out presentation with tons of logical facts to the enthusiast. Instead, you’ll have to flip your presentation on its head. Begin with the exciting concept and then make sure that all the data and information is there should you be asked now or in the future. You’ll appear credible if you can discuss any risks or downsides at the beginning to keep the enthusiast grounded.

Stage II: Engineer Power

4. Transferring Power and Credibility from Others

In addition to establishing your own credibility as an authority, you can also use the “shoulders of giants” to

propel you to that position.

Transfers of power and credibility can come from respected people or organizations.

• Look carefully at the network of people in a particular industry and you will soon discover that there is an unseen web of endorsements from the highest echelon to the beginning rungs. Endorsements from well-respected, highly credible individuals from 1-4 rungs above your level can help you get to a level of influence faster.

• This type of networking won’t happen by accident. You’ll have to actively seek the mentorship and endorsements of others who are names in your industry.

• Being a member of business and industry organizations that are aligned with your mission can help you gain credibility faster as well.

Transfers of power can come to you either through an active or implied process.

• Case 1: A well-respected businessman begins a presentation by introducing the speaker as his friend and longtime business associate (active transfer).

• Case 2: A business presents a list of 15 testimonials from long-time clients. Each has given contact information and offered to give an endorsement via phone to new customers (active transfer).

• Case 3: A businesswoman lists the respected industry organizations she’s a member of on her LinkedIn profile (implied transfer).

Active transfers can happen either in person or in testimonials.

• Active transfers of power typically happen when an individual asks someone in a position of power and authority to vouch for him/her; an active transfer of power can also happen when you have just met someone and they quickly introduce you to their peers or colleagues—the individual you have just met has made judgments about your ability and level of power quickly and is putting his/her relationships and credibility on the line by quickly making that bridge to others

• Written testimonials from influential people can make a huge difference in how others judge you as well; when buying online, customers are frequently skittish because they don’t know who they are buying from, but when they see a series of testimonials from others they trust or they perceive as trustworthy, it makes them more comfortable about buying; if someone else successfully demonstrates your product or evangelizes your service this can be the ultimate power transfer--an example is Lori Grenier introducing your product on QVC.

• You should never be afraid to ask for referrals once you’ve established great working relationships. In this way, you can build your network quickly. In other words, if you’ve done expert work for one of your clients, ask that individual to introduce you personally to others who can use your services; the likelihood that someone will do business with you increases tenfold when you approach it this way; make a list of all the people who could help you in a situation where you may want to persuade or influence others and ask them for at least one contact so you can widen your sphere of influence

Implied transfers happen when people make judgments about you based on the communities and groups you belong to.

• If you’re a member of prestigious groups or groups where you share a common interest with other members, these can provide door openers for you—fraternities, sororities, fraternal organizations, such as the Masons, Elks, Shriners, business organizations such as the Better Business Bureau and the Chamber of Commerce, religious organizations and charities can all be ways to achieve implied power transfers; shared commitment to a set of ideals is a strong way to build trust.

• When you’re being interviewed or have media coverage, always try to get the person who is interviewing you to provide an endorsement; even if he or she hasn’t tried your product or service if he/she agrees to try it, it can be an implied transfer.

• Media coverage is another implied transfer. As you position yourself as an expert and others cite your knowledge and advice, you’re seen as a leader and authority in your field.

Just as you’ve been mentored, you should be ready and willing to mentor someone else to help him/her begin the same process.

• Power and credibility transfers should be a reciprocal process; if you want others to endorse you, then be the first to step up when someone you can happily recommend asks for an endorsement; be known for helping others and when you need help there will be many in your network to help.

• Be careful with the credibility that’s been transferred to you, it’s easily destroyed if you don’t handle everyone in your network with respect.

• A true story: A printer who was just starting his business did a job for a very fussy woman customer, she drove him crazy with endless changes for a $65 job, but he proceeded to treat her with respect and provided her with excellent service. He never expected to hear from her or see her again, but she was connected with a very influential political organization. When she endorsed his work and told others what an excellent job he had done for her, he started to receive thousands of dollars of work for political campaigns. Never underestimate the network that others have.

5. Building an Authority Power Base and Platform

In addition to the transfers of power you get from other authority figures, to claim your position as an expert

authority you need to make a concerted effort to build a platform to release your ideas, mission, products, and

services.

Master your topic, then move on to another topic.

• No one can be a master in all areas. It’s best to pick one topic, research it, learn it, master as many aspects of it as possible, share it, and become known for it. Then you can make money teaching it and you’ll have a foundation upon which to build.

• If you don’t already have expert status, you should pick the topic you want to master with care. You’ll want to live and breathe this topic for at least 3-5 years, so pick something you’d love to learn about based on what you already love to do. It should engage your interest on all levels and tie into your life experiences and hardships.

• Once you’ve built a success with topic 1 you can branch out to other related topics.

Select your audience and ask questions to find out their problems.

• This one is tricky. Some people say find a hungry audience first, then define how to position yourself. Others say start with what you know or want to know and build on it. In some ways, it’s easier to decide which demographic you want to serve first. The needs and problems of a single mom are very different from the needs and wants of a retiree.

• Even if you have a universal message that is important for almost everyone, you have to narrow down your demographic to begin with, in order to market and advertise effectively.

• Once you’ve narrowed down the demographic, it’s time to find out their burning issues. Some questions to start that process are: What is your major goal this year? What would it take to double or triple your happiness/business this year? What frustrates you most about your current situation? What action steps have you already taken and did they work or not work?

Write your story and create a solution that works for your audience.

• In Western cultures, it’s common to build a base for authority on your accomplishments, degree, and title, but your audience also wants to know what challenges you have faced. They want to know that you’ve been through what they’ve been through. After they believe your struggles, then they’ll be interested in your knowledge and accomplishments. Your story will become your personal credibility story.

• Once you’ve defined the problems your audience faces, it’s time to create the product or program you want to offer. This is where the follow through is important. You need to write the book, create the presentation, set up the coaching program, or shoot the videos for your online training course, etc.

• There are five main ways people can learn from you:

• Reading through books, ebooks, newsletters, blog postings, instructor guides, articles;

• Listening through audio CDs, one-on-one calls, teleseminars, MP3s;

• Watching TV, computer, mobile devices through DVD programs, online videos, webinars;

• In-person presentations through live seminars, workshops, adventures, retreats;

• Exclusive mastermind, coaching, mentorship programs--since these programs will require your presence they will be some of the more expensive you offer.

Put up a website and create an offering of your products and services.

• Your website should be built to accomplish three goals: add value through freebies and giveaways, capture leads and build your audience so your influence grows, make money to reinvest as your audience gets larger; the size of your newsletter list is proportionate to your influence and income.

• (5.4.2) Marketing expert services and positioning yourself as an authority is very different than the “one-shot” promotion that many businesses do. Instead, you’ll send lots of free valuable content to your audience as you persuade them to pay for additional products and services you offer. Your freebies must be jammed with value so that clients can see that their dollars will be well spent if they buy from you.

• Once you have your website set up, you should be sending campaigns out automatically from your site. You need to do everything possible to widen your reach in a strategic and consistent basis.

Post free content and get promotional partners.

• Don’t be afraid to put some of your best content out there as freebies to attract your fan base through internet searches and social media. As your stature as an expert grows, you’ll be learning more and more, so there will always be new material to share and programs to create.

• As you grow your platform, there will be opportunities to work with other experts in your field. Google the keywords related to your topic and research websites that list prominent speakers to uncover potential strategic partnerships.

• Offer something that is distinctive from what others offer and serve it up with excellence and a dedication to serve your audience. Experts and authorities who get to the top truly care about the people they serve. They want to make a difference and improve the quality of life for others.

6. Styles of Leadership You can’t really position yourself as an authority or

expert without taking on the cloak of leadership. Because of your confidence and knowledge, others will look to you for guidance. There are different styles of

influencing others and you should find the style or combination of styles that works best for you and where

you feel the most authentic.

The Maximizer—this type of leader knows how to get everyone to harmonize and work together.

• This Maximizer clearly sees the strengths of each individual in a group and can create subgroups that work together well for the overall mission of the larger group.

• Instead of insisting that each person do each task as part of the chain of a larger action set, this type of leader will carefully fit people to their strengths and thus maximize the group as a whole.

• The Maximizer is a master at listening to others to determine where their talents and passions lie. He or she also realizes his/her weaknesses and strengths and surrounds himself/herself with others who have complimentary strengths.

The Passionate Speaker—this type of leader knows how to use his/her well-honed presentation skills to influence the action of others.

• When this person speaks, people listen. Something about the tone of this leader’s voice makes others stop in their tracks and absorb the message.

• The Passionate Speaker uses words as precise tools in opening the minds of others. There is so much passion, confidence, and conviction in his/her delivery and thought process that it takes little else for people to rise out of their seats and take action.

• The Passionate Speaker doesn’t have to exert a lot of effort to get fans. He or she attracts fans like a magnet because of his/her persona and speaking prowess.

The Critical Thinker—this type of leader isn’t afraid of problems or challenges, he/she tackles them head on, full force.

• No problem is too big for the Critical Thinker. He or she knows that his/her destiny is to lead others and step up to the plate first when there’s a challenge to be faced. No matter how frightening the circumstances, the Critical Thinker knows there’s a way out.

• The Critical Thinker uses all the great ideas ever generated in his/her arsenal of tools. He/she knows how to take abstract concepts and mold them into working plans for overcoming obstacles.

• The Critical Thinker is open to the ideas that come from the group and then adds his/her own spin to make those ideas even better, so they can be used to create a problem-solving framework

The Visionary—this type of leader has a firm grasp of the past and present to make a better future.

• The key to this leader is her/her ability to analyze and process past successes and failures in order to build a better, brighter tomorrow.

• The Visionary can inspire others to think about how to create a better quality of life in the future, by finding better, more sustainable processes today. The Visionary is constantly on the lookout for how to make things better and improve current systems.

• Cause-and-effect is highly important to the Visionary. When something goes off track, he/she wants to know why the event happened so that learning can take place to enhance future planning.

The Harmonizer—this type of leader puts people first before anything else.

• The Harmonizer is especially effective in times of stress or when others need to heal from trauma. He/she is able to get others to develop bonds with each other.

• Helping others to feel that they belong in the group and that they can trust each other are hallmarks of the Harmonizer. To the Harmonizer, people’s feelings count just as much as their thoughts.

• The Harmonizer believes that the best work comes from those who care about each other. He/she works hard to channel negative energy into positive energy and find processes that give others the opportunity to feel happy to be part of a larger organization.

Stage III: Become The Alpha

7. Creates a Path and Others Follow

The alpha personality is a natural leader.

• Others look to the alpha personality for guidance.

• He’s seen as someone who knows what to do and gives directions rather than taking directions from someone else.

• He’s comfortable in his own skin and at ease in positions where others come to him for guidance and knowledge.

Rather than wait for someone else to blaze the trail, he will create it himself. Others will follow his lead. This is why so many people with alpha personalities become entrepreneurs.

In order to be a leader, he works out regularly to maintain the strength needed for the demanding position he’s in.

• The alpha personality walks the walk and talks the talk. He’s been through his own struggles and has emerged at the top of his field through effort and smarts.

• He has numerous types of intelligence. He’s knowledgeable in his field, he also has street smarts, and social skills. He uses all of these to navigate daily challenges.

• He has a high self-esteem and doesn’t need to prove himself. He really doesn’t need anyone else’s approval.

Tony Robbins is a good example here. He pushes the limits on his own fitness so he’ll be fit to help others.

In order to create new paths, he associates with those who are on his level or at a higher level than he is.

• The alpha personality knows how to network to get the needed transfers of power to attain greater heights in life.

• The alpha personality helps others to achieve their goals by recommending them and transferring his power to them.

• No challenge is too great or problem too big for the alpha personality. He truly believes that by assessing the situation from all angles and using his logic and knowledge, all challenges can be overcome.

He’s always absorbing the power techniques of others so that he can influence and persuade at a higher level than before.

Some people think the alpha personality is aggressive, but a better word to use would be dominant.

• He talks slowly and walks slowly. He’s controlled and his body language speaks confidence. He knows what he’s going to say and where he’s going to go, because it’s all been thought through ahead of time.

• He’s an independent thinker and though he listens to the advice and opinions of others, he makes up his own mind.

• He’s not afraid to take calculated risks to get the results he wants.

Within a few minutes in any group setting, he draws others to himself like a magnet.

Alpha personalities demonstrate strength.

• Others sense this inner strength and feel safer when the alpha personality is around.

• The alpha personality dresses for success. It’s part of his nature to want and feel that he deserves the best in life and that’s reflected in his clothes and car.

• Failure is only seen as a temporary setback for the alpha personality. He will always bounce back from failure and learn valuable lessons for the next stage of his journey.

Not just physical strength, but strength of mind as well as grit and persistence.

8. Sets Goals and is Decisive

Unlike many people who let the tides go in and out, the alpha personality is convinced he can control the tides with his own actions.

• The alpha personality sets clear, defined, actionable goals and then sets out to achieve them.

• He knows how to get others aligned with his mission and persuades them to take part in the projects that he organizes and commands.

• The alpha personality has high morals, sound ethics, and values that are dear to his heart. Some people confuse alpha personalities with bullies, but alpha personalities are generally calm, controlled people. They don’t get what they want with aggression, they get it with persuasion and influence.

The alpha personality is very passionate about life and moves confidently in the direction of achieving goals and benchmarks that have meaning to him.

• Because he’s willing to follow these goals to the ends of the earth, he ends up living a much more fulfilling life than most people.

• People gravitate toward alpha personalities because there is an air of mystery and a “larger than life” feeling about them.

• Their subjects want to emulate them and have a little bit of that “gold dust” rub off on them.

The alpha personality is not afraid to make decisions.

• Very self-driven and self-disciplined, the alpha individual feels somehow connected to his destiny for greatness and steps up to the plate when challenges arise.

• Once the plan and decisions are in place, the alpha personality has the persistence and grit to ensure that follow-through takes place.

• Some people perceive the alpha personality as arrogant and self-serving, but the truth is, that the alpha personality sees himself on a larger stage and realizes his actions and how he influences others can have a great impact on society.

He analyzes all the data at hand and then moves forward with confidence and conviction.

Once goals are set and met, it’s time to put another set of goals into position.

• The alpha personality at its best isn’t bossy or controlling. He knows that he can’t do it alone. He needs other team players to bring their strengths to the table. Together with a team of like-minded individuals, he’s unstoppable.

• The alpha personality knows how to keep his emotions in check when things get difficult. He knows that he must stick to the plans, despite obstacles to make future progress.

• The alpha personality knows that life is a learning process. The journey for growth begins the day you’re born and ends the day you die. During that brief time, he knows he can create a legacy.

There’s always room for future growth. Life is a never-ending quest for improvement.

The alpha personality isn’t easily distracted.

• Alpha personalities set goals that will improve their lives as well as the lives of others.

• They break down the goals into smaller goals that are effective, efficient, and economical.

• They find ways to remove obstacles, even if it’s to persuade others to stand aside to let them move forward. Alphas can become obsessed with goals and push themselves to greater heights each time.

Goals are like quests. They must be achieved. There is a streak of competitiveness in the alpha personality that never goes away. These individuals want to be the best at everything.

9. High-Energy, High-Humor, Humble yet Dominant

Alpha personalities sometimes appear to have ten times the energy of ordinary people.

• The alpha personality has the ability to bring the energy level of others around him up. His presence, speech, and opinions make others aspire to greatness and lifts them up.

• While the alpha personality speaks up for himself, he is also the first to speak up for others as well. He dislikes injustice and has a social conscience.

• No one can be indifferent about the alpha personality. He’s either loved and honored or feared and hated. His personality is too strong to go unnoticed. Many are jealous of him and his achievements. He must take care to remain approachable to others and not appear arrogant or cold.

The reason is that their passion is a driving force that keeps them motivated and vital.

Although they may seem like gods on earth at times, alpha personalities recognize that they have flaws and weaknesses as well.

• Alpha personalities know how to minimize the weaknesses of others and play on their strengths. They are generally much harder on themselves than they are on others.

They find it difficult to accept these weaknesses. They don’t dwell on their weaknesses, but instead they admit their errors and quickly move on. They don’t perseverate over their faults, but instead acknowledge them and work to fix the weaknesses in themselves. It’s a matter of fact process and they quickly move on.

• Their eloquence, physical presence, and strong persona can be used for good or for evil. This charisma influences others and can be a powerful force for change.

• Alpha personalities have superior social skills. They know how to talk with and persuade people from all different walks of life and cultures. The world is their oyster. They can move in the most elite circles comfortably.

The spiritually aware alpha will take care that he’s not seen as too arrogant or unapproachable due to his higher status.

• He laughs at himself but he isn’t self deprecating.

• Alpha personalities don’t sweat the small stuff. They don’t allow petty concerns to take center stage.

• The alpha personality is a great storyteller. He’s lived life fully so he has lots of stories to tell. These metaphors and stories are memorable and help others gain greater wisdom.

He’ll use humor to make a bridge to others.

On the other hand, he will be the first to stop any occasion where an individual is being made fun of.

• Because of this, alpha personalities who have developed rapport and are seen as authorities with a high level of honesty and integrity, are often viewed as being able to connect with the “common man” although they themselves sometimes come from elite backgrounds.

• Alpha personalities are great communicators and this makes them able to network efficiently to build their platform and fan base.

• Despite the focus on them, alpha personalities have learned how to be excellent listeners. They realize that they can gain knowledge from everyone with whom they come in contact.

He has a strong sense of justice and feels a sense of protection toward others who are weaker.

Many people have a hard time understanding how someone can be humble and dominant at the same time.

• If you think about the truly great spiritual and political leaders, those who have had an influence for good, they all maintained a sense of their own humanity and frailty.

• However, the alpha personality realizes that his weakness can’t get in the way of moving forward toward the part he is supposed to play.

The answer is simple. The alpha personality recognizes that he is a channel of power. Power comes from the universal subconscious mind, he has just developed the ability to use it, while others have not yet developed that same power, which is theirs for the taking.

• If he begins to think of himself as omnipotent, he often has to pay with a huge public failure to make sure he understands that he’s still human. An example that comes to mind is James Arthur Ray.

Stage IV: Speak The Language

10. High-Intensity Language and Appropriate Tone of Voice

Your use of language will make a difference in how others perceive you.

• The use of powerful action words will bring vitality to your speech--accelerate, brighten, broaden, champion, challenge, command, conserve, construct, discover, dominate, elevate .these are just examples from a to e, but there are hundreds more.

• Just as in writing, your speaking presentations shouldn’t have a lot of flowery words or be overly verbose. Concise, clear, and creative communicates best.

• Use engaging stories to wrap up your message as a gift to your subjects. Stories are much more memorable than lists or information. Even important data is much more appealing and stays with the listener for longer if it’s told in story format.

It’s not an accident that influential people are said to have “powerful voices.”

• Authorities and experts are not afraid to speak up for themselves and share their opinions, even though their opinions may not always be popular. They are articulate and well-spoken.

• To project a voice that others are eager to hear, you need to: Speak with optimal volume, pronounce words clearly, keep your pacing fluid and relaxed, highlight key parts of your message with expression, and make sure that the voice you project resonates from your diaphragm.

That power comes from the passion of their mission, but also from the way that communication comes from the core of their being, their authenticity.

• It’s vital to be audible, but this is only the first step in connecting with your audience; we’ve all been in meetings where the speaker can’t really be heard because he/she is speaking too low; on the other hand, someone who comes out of the gate louder than necessary makes us feel uncomfortable as well.

Expression and tone of voice

• We’ve all suffered through a presentation either in a class or workshop where the speaker’s unrelenting monotone put us into a deep sleep.

• Research studies have shown that the tone of a speaker’s voice matters twice as much as the content of his or her message. https://www.ethos3.com/2015/10/how-your-voice-impacts-your-public-speaking-succes s/

• Your facial expression and tone of voice need to be in harmony with each other otherwise listeners will get confused. Also, to convey authority, your voice must have a downward inflection, not an upward “valley girl” inflection at the end of your sentences.

How listeners assess voices

• In general, speakers who have a strong volume without overdoing it, are those who are considered to be the most confident and authoritative.

• If your voice is too soft, you’ll be perceived as weak. If your voice is too much of a contrast with your physical presence, this can throw your audience as well. For example, a strong man with a high-pitched voice would have difficulty commanding an audience.

• Not every one can have an exceptional voice, but anyone who has a weak voice can use practice exercises to learn how to project his/her voice with more volume and how to articulate more clearly.

Pacing your speech

• There is a connection to the speed at which you speak to how you are perceived. The more quickly you speak, the less confident you actually seem to your listeners. People who speak too quickly are often perceived as nervous.

• People who speak very, very slowly are sometimes perceived an unintelligent. A comfortable pace for listeners is in the range of 170 words per minute.

• Sometimes when you’re making a speech, a pause seems to last forever. However, most pauses are quite comfortable for the listener. People who pause more and don’t use fillers when they pause, are perceived as better prepared and more intelligent.

11. Self-Confident and Expert Delivery/Presentation Style

To become more authoritative as you speak, study other speakers and watch everything they do.

• To appear more authoritative, take up more space. Command the stage. Act as if you own every square inch. Walk around and realize that your presence isn’t just the space you occupy. It’s the movements you make and the power that reverberates out from your presence.

• Maintain strong eye contact with your audience. Make sure that each individual feels that he or she is truly seen.

• Stand or sit symmetrically and hold your head still while you speak. You need to give the appearance of being calm and centered.

After you do this for a while, you’ll notice some speakers who are virtually perfect and others who could use some strengthening of their skills.

There’s a balance between being seen as authoritative and being seen as approachable.

• If you display authoritative behaviors, people will see you as a competent, credible, capable expert.

• However, you can destroy rapport if you lean too heavily on that side. You might come across as unreceptive, unfriendly, or inaccessible.

• On the other hand, if your style is too accessible and approachable, even though you may come across as personable and flexible, you may not come across as “a cut above” and lose some of your expert-level credibility.

Most roles need a balance between these two qualities. You’ll need to be able to shift your persona and image to fit the circumstances.

Your posture and presence

• Surprisingly, your posture tells your audience about your personality. Are you an authority or do you have no viable opinions? Do you blend into the crowd or do you attract others like a magnet and become the center of attention wherever you go?

• Keep your spine straight and stand tall. Stand with your weight balanced over both your feet. Take care not to shift from side to side.

• Keep your head level. People actually perceive that as translating to your being “level-headed.” Point your nose directly at your listeners. Make sure your physical behaviors send the signal that you’re ready to take center stage.

Your gestures and eye contact

• Gestures say so much about your level of comfort and confidence. If your hands are fumbling or fidgeting, even if you sound confident or have good posture, your hands will give you away.

• Don’t mask your face with your hands. This gives the indication that you’re not telling the truth. Instead, reach out to your listeners and use your gestures to emphasize your words. It’s a good idea to keep your hands in the “gesture box.” The gesture box is the ideal airspace for your gestures. It’s no higher than the sternum and no lower than your hip joints. It’s not wider than the width of your shoulders.

• Clear, focused eye contact will give others the impression that you’re in control and confident. Hold your eye contact for 3-5 seconds per person. Make everyone in your audience feel seen. Remember you’re not staring at people in a zombie-like fashion. Instead, as you’re speaking your facial expression will change as you make an effort to see and recognize them. Pay attention to the nonverbal clues your audience is giving you and adjust accordingly.

Avoiding distracting behaviors and projecting your energy

• Filler words like “uh” and “you know” give the impression that you’re unclear or not focused. Don’t fear pausing as you think about what you want to say next. Learn to use pauses for emphasis. Extraneous movements or apologizing for verbal fumbles also undermine your credibility.

• Be especially careful to avoid grooming behaviors like pulling on your hair or flipping your hair for women or playing with facial hair for men. The way you listen to others often impacts your credibility as well. If you appear to be bored, or you are fidgeting, it gives the appearance that you don’t care what others have to say.

• Imagine that you are going to throw a ball to someone. You would try to calculate exactly how much effort you would need to put into your throw to get the ball to the other person’s hands. Projection with speaking is similar. You need to deliver your message right into the person’s eyes, ears, and hands. How effectively you do that is related to eye contact, energy volume, expression, gestures, postures, and perhaps most importantly, mindset and confidence.

12. Targeted Hypnotic Language Patterns to Reinforce Authority

If you look around you’ll see authority figures wherever you go.

Sometimes the people you see are designated authorities, such as policeman or college professors, but sometimes they’re not. Parents, business leaders, politicians, and

experts in industry fields are all authorities for different audiences.

In addition to their badges and titles, authorities walk, talk, and act in specific ways that make them the “leaders of the pack.” We want to trust the authorities we listen to and buy from, so if you want to be seen as an authority you’ll need to

build that trust and rapport.

Once you have it, your influence and persuasion powers will grow.

Language pattern: A person can you know (insert name, then fill in the blank)

• Example: Business leader to subject: A person can you know, John, rise up the ranks by self-teaching.

• Example: Teacher to student: A person can you know, Amelia, learn how to command authority by watching others who do so.

By switching subjects you put your subject slightly off balance and give him/her the opportunity to put himself/herself into the situation.

Language pattern: Suddenly (fill in the blank)

• Example: Motivational speaker to audience: Suddenly your life can change in an instant. You’ll be inspired to walk out of here a different person than the one who entered this room.

• Example: Parent to teenager: Suddenly you’ll be in a situation and you’ll take the action of a responsible adult. I believe in you.

As an authority, part of your job is to inspire people to act.

Language pattern: You really should discover for yourself that (fill in the blank)

• Example: Hypnotist to patient: You really should discover for yourself how empowered you’ll feel when you kick this smoking habit for good.

• Example: Religious leader to his parish: You really should discover for yourself how prayer can help you overcome life’s challenges.

Part of your role as an authority is helping others to uncover the more powerful parts of themselves.

Language pattern: The more (fill in the blank), the more (fill in the blank)

• Example: Boss to employee: The more you define your target goals and timeframe, the more you achieve.

• Example: Teacher to student: The more you immerse yourself in the culture, the more proficient you’ll be with the language.

As an authority you are the guide that helps others find the way.

Language pattern: What would it be like if (fill in the blank)

• Example: Business leader to organization: What would it be like if you could accomplish your goals without financial pressure?

• Example: Business mentor to mentee: What would it be like if you could make some simple changes and jump three levels up at work?

The authority figure opens others’ minds to possibilities they may not have thought of.

Language pattern: (an expert, my manager, the wisest man I know, my priest) once told me, (insert quote here)

• Example: Business leader to audience: My mentor and the wisest man I know once told me, always listen first with your heart and mind before recommending a challenging path to others and be willing to walk that path with them.

• Example: Mother to daughter: My great grandmother once told me, you can’t continue an argument if you pretend to be the other person while they talk.

Sometimes your authority position can actually impede your message from getting through. By using an indirect quote, you can accomplish the same goal and deflect it from yourself as the source.

Language pattern: Rapidly (fill in the blank)

• Example: Military leader to soldiers: Rapidly your hearts will fill with pride for our country and you’ll find the courage you need to act.

• Example: Speaker to audience: Rapidly when you view this data, you’ll realize that you are in a unique position to help finance these micro businesses.

Frequently people feel inertia and are hesitant to take action. You as the authority can motivate them to move forward.

Language pattern: As soon as (fill in the blank), you’ll (fill in the blank)

• Example: Hypnotist to subject: As soon as you visualize the safest place you’ve ever been and hold it in your mind, you’ll be able to resist drinking.

• Example: Speaker to audience: As soon as you become aware of all the business opportunities around you, you’ll be able to put a plan into action quickly.

We all want to see some logic in why we’ve decided to take action at a certain point, but there isn’t always a cause and effect relationship that motivates us to act. You as the authority can link unrelated items in a way that seems logical and inspires people to transform.

Language pattern: I know you want to (fill in the blank)

• Example: Life coach to client: I know you want to leap into the creative aspects of this new endeavor, but the planning stages are important too.

• Example: Arbitrator to client: I know you want to take action against the person who cut down your trees, but once you hear the entire story your outlook may change.

After you’ve listened actively to someone and you have a handle on their needs and desires you can redirect them using your influence as an authority.

Language pattern: Eventually (fill in the blank)

• Example: Businessman persuading investors: Eventually you as an investor will be able to take a private trip in space to a hotel in the sky.

• Example: Hypnotist to subject: Eventually you’ll look back on these day-to-day sessions and realize that they brought about life-changing transformation.

As an influential speaker you’ll be building up anticipation in people’s hearts and minds for events in the future.

Language pattern: And you can experience (fill in the blank) as if (fill in the blank)

• Example: Hypnotist to subject: And you can experience a sense of achievement by visualizing a successful result just as if the event has already taken place.

• Example: Manager to employee: And you can experience the feeling of success we’ll have when we achieve that quota just as if we’ve already hit the numbers.

In your role as an authority you can help others visualize a better future and quality of life for themselves.

Language pattern: As you (fill in the blank), so you (fill in the blank)

• Example: Coach to athlete: As you practice every day you’ll strengthen your body as well as your mind, so you’ll be ready to catch the pass and make that touchdown.

• Example: Speaker to voters: As you examine the data I’ve offered, your decision will become crystal clear, so you’ll vote without hesitation for Candidate X.

As an authority you guide your subject and also make the choices the subject has clear to him or her.

Language pattern: If you (fill in the blank), then (fill in the blank)

• Example: Leader to audience: If you visualize yourself living in a one-room hut with unsanitary drinking water, then you’ll take action to support our cause of supplying clean, safe drinking water.

• Example: Politician to voters: If you can imagine how it would feel to live in a country where students are the best in the world in science and math, then you’ll support my education bill.

Your subject will put himself or herself into the “if” part of the statement. The “if” part of the statement is the suggestion you want your subject to open his/her mind to see. In this way, you as the authority, can link together a cause with the effect you want to influence.

Language pattern: You might (fill in the blank)

• Example: Parent to teenager: You might consider how you can improve your study habits so you’ll do well in college.

• Example: Life coach to subject: You might consider that the change of careers, even though it seems scary, may be the best thing for your future happiness.

As authorities when we influence others we present choices to them, choices that are higher choices than what they would have selected themselves.

Language pattern: (Fact 1), (Fact 2), (Fact 3) and (fill in the blank)

• Example: Trainer to client: Most children start out with healthy eating habits, sometimes their families encourage dysfunctional eating, with training you can break the emotional eating pattern and reach your desired weight.

• Example: Hypnotist to patient: All human beings have past memories, you can choose to call up happy or unpleasant memories whenever you wish, choosing happy memories will mold your view of the past and provide you with the opportunity to move forward.

Most of life is building on patterns that we’ve seen others display. As an authority, your job is to present people with new alternative patterns that they may not have been fortunate enough to experience in their lives.

Language pattern: I want you to (fill in the blank)

• Example: Spiritual guide to students: I want you to learn to put yourself into a state of complete relaxation within a couple of minutes by controlling your breathing and visualization.

• Example: Doctor to patient: I want you to take the necessary steps to lose weight and quit smoking so you’ll see your children have children.

Once you’ve positioned yourself as an authority and others are following your lead, don’t be afraid to give directives or embedded commands to your subjects.

Language pattern: Have you ever (fill in the blank)

• Example: Health coach to client: Have you ever awakened and felt that every cell in your body feels good? When did you feel that way and how do you think you could get back to that feeling?

• Example: Manager to employee: Have you ever wondered how we could improve the efficiency of this department? Is there some research we could do to emulate other departments that are more successful?

Once you have established rapport and are seen as the authority, you can pace, pace, and then lead your subject to the desired outcome. Give your subject the steering wheel but make sure you point him/her in the direction of which road to travel.

Language pattern: You should remember (fill in the blank)

• Example: Hypnotist to subject: You should remember that you have the power to relax yourself. Just by controlling your breathing and tapping into past memories, you can quickly bring yourself to a complete state of relaxation no matter what the circumstances.

• Example: Golf coach to client: You should remember and tap into the most successful golfing days you’ve had in the past before you begin a new round of golf. Relax into your swing and just enjoy yourself.

As an authority, you can remind others that their memories are storehouses of useful data that they can tap into at any time to help with current challenges.

Language pattern: I need to tell you (fill in the blank)

• Example: Motivational speaker to audience: I need to tell you that I have probably failed more than most people. I’ve just learned how not to repeat those failures but make them into stepping stones for success.

• Example: Life coach to client: I need to tell you that it’s when you’re unhappy at your job that the greatest opportunity for personal growth occurs.

When you’re an authority, people are receptive to your guidance and ideas.

Language pattern: Allow (fill in the blank)

• Example: Speaker to audience: Allow yourself to think about and plan the biggest goal you could ever hope to achieve. How would you feel once you achieved it?

• Example: Spiritual guide to student: Allow yourself to feel an out-of-body experience. Would you feel free from your physical pain? What would you see?

As an influencer you can give your audience permission to dream big.

Language pattern: You could (fill in the blank)

• Example: Parent to child: You could be sweet to your sister and let her take turns with your toy.

• Example: Health coach to client: You could reach for something healthy instead of something salty when you feel the need to snack.

Even when you are perceived as an authority, sometimes soft persuasion works better than firm commands.

Language pattern: Sooner or later (fill in the blank)

• Example: Arbitrator to client: Sooner or later you’ll realize that your anger isn’t going to solve the problem. There are many different ways to find a solution, let’s work together to find an answer that works for everyone.

• Example: Psychotherapist to workaholic: Sooner or later your pattern of sinking yourself in your work so that you can sideline your grief is going to catch up with you.

As an authority, you’ll listen to what others are saying and unearth their hidden motivations and desires. You can then use this information to help them make transformational changes, possibly sooner rather than later.

Language pattern: A person could change (fill in the blank)

• Example: Motivational speaker to audience: A person could change from a beta personality to an alpha personality overnight, when you realize that speaking up for yourself and your opinions is the first step.

• Example: Parent to teenager: A person could change from being irresponsible to being responsible overnight, when she realizes her cell phone privileges might be revoked.

By switching subjects midstream you place your listener slightly off balance, which makes the power balance in your favor...your listener will think of himself/herself in the position of the ambiguous subject.

Language pattern: You don’t have to (fill in the blank)

• Example: Teacher to students: You don’t have to spend your entire week researching this topic, but the more you research, the better prepared you’ll be for the exam. (the hidden embedded command is: “spend your entire week researching this topic”)

• Example: Leader to audience: You don’t have to fully embrace the new technology to understand the benefits it could have for society. (the hidden embedded command is: “embrace the new technology to understand the benefits it could have for society”)

As the authority figure, you’re always pointing out to others that they can take the high road or the low road...by doing it with a negative statement you offer them a choice with an embedded command.

Language pattern: I don’t know if you can (fill in the blank)

• Example: Financial consultant to client: I don’t know if you can visualize the weakened position your family will be in 6 months if you don’t adopt a clear budget and spending guidelines. (the hidden embedded command is “visualize the weakened position your family will be in 6 months”)

• Example: Motivational speaker to audience: I don’t know if you can begin to imagine how much your life will change for the better as soon as you forgive the individuals who have hurt you in the past. (the hidden embedded command is “begin to imagine how much your life will change for the better”)

By using negation, you as the authority, can open the subconscious minds of your audience and give them an embedded command to follow.