the fifteen-minute guide to bank robbery

8/13/2019 The Fifteen-Minute Guide to Bank Robbery

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The 15 Minute

Guide toBank Robbery

By Mortimer Quigley


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The Fifteen-Minute Guide to Bank Robbery

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Table of Contents

DISCLAIMER ........................................................................................................................................................... 4

YES I ROBBED A BANK ............................................................................................................................................ 4

EMPLOYER DISCRIMINATION ................................................................................................................................. 6 CAVEAT EMPTOR LET THE BUYER BEWARE ......................................................................................................... 6

GOOD MORNING, IM H ERE TO ROB YOU. PLEASE PUT ALL YOUR MONEY INTO THIS BAG ANDDONT TOUCH

THE ALARM OR THE BAIT MONEY I HAVE A GUN .............................................................................................. 7

MY STORY .............................................................................................................................................................. 7

GETTING PREPARED ............................................................................................................................................... 8

WHY PEOPLE ROB BANKS ...................................................................................................................................... 9

WORKING ALONE VS. CHOOSING A PARTNER(S).................................................................................................... 9

WHYGOING IT ALONEIS ALWAYS THE BEST CHOICE ............................................................................................................. 9

CHOOSING YOUR BANK AND MAPPING YOUR ESCAPE ROUTE ............................................................................ 10

CHOOSE A BANKAS FAR AWAY FROM THE POLICESTATION AS POSSIBLE ................................................................................ 10

TRANSPORTATION ALTERNATIVES AND FOOLING WITNESSES ............................................................................. 10

BIG BROTHER IS ALWAYS WATCHING .................................................................................................................. 12

NEW SECURITYFEATURES .............................................................................................................................................. 12

WEAPONS AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF USING THEM ........................................................................................ 12

HIDING YOUR IDENTITY ....................................................................................................................................... 14

DISGUISES (WHAT WORKS- WHAT DOESN T) ................................................................................................................... 14 Body Types .......................................................................................................................................................... 14 How to Dress ....................................................................................................................................................... 14

FINGERPRINTS ..................................................................................................................................................... 15

MAKING YOUR INTENTIONS KNOWN .................................................................................................................. 16

USING NOTES .............................................................................................................................................................. 16 USING WORDS ............................................................................................................................................................ 16 JUST ONE TELLERPLEASE ............................................................................................................................................... 16 THE CLOCK ISTICKING ................................................................................................................................................... 16

LIST OF COMMANDS ..................................................................................................................................................... 17 BRING YOUR OWN BAG .................................................................................................... ERROR! BOOKMARK NOT DEFINED.

THE GETAWAY ..................................................................................................................................................... 18

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT TOGET PERBANK(ON AVERAGE) USING THIS METHOD .................................................................... 18 DID YOU REMEMBER THE DYEPACK? .............................................................................................................................. 18

SIMPLE TIPS AND TRICKS ..................................................................................................................................... 18


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DON T ROB A BANK ON DRUGS....................................................................................................................................... 18 GET IN AND GET OUT ................................................................................................................................................... 18 BANKTELLERS ANDPROFILING ........................................................................................................................................ 18

WHEN TO ROB A BANK ........................................................................................................................................ 19

SNOW CAN BE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, OR YOUR BESTFRIEND ....................................................................................... 19 LOCAL VS. OUT-OF-STATE BANKS AND CRIME REPORTING .................................................................................. 19

STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS FOR BANK ROBBERY .................................................................................................. 20

TO SPEND OR NOT TO SPEND .............................................................................................................................. 20

PRE-SENTENCE INVESTIGATION SAY NOTHING! ................................................................................................ 21

THE BIG RUNDOWN ............................................................................................................................................. 22

RISKS VS. REWARDS ............................................................................................................................................. 25

SOME MAKEBANKROBBERY ANEXCITINGLIFESTYLE.......................................................................................................... 25

THE ECONOMIC ENVIRONMENT ...................................................................................................................................... 25 IN CONCLUSION ................................................................................................................................................... 26

DON T TURN YOURSELF INUNDER ANYCIRCUMSTANCES ..................................................................................................... 26


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DISCLAIMER

This information is intended for entertainment purposes only and anyonepurchasing this eBook understands and accepts the risks and consequences involved

when acquiring newly learned information. Moreover, the purchaser holds thisauthor harmless regarding all claims of liability due to any criminal acts of behaviorperpetrated by individuals hoping to use this information for nefarious purposes.

Yes I Robbed a Bank

Yes, I actually robbed a bank. However, by looking at me you would never be able totell, because Im not the kind of person you would ever think of doing such a thing.Friends and family still have a hard time wrapping their heads around what Ive done (butyoud be surprised at how many people a re capable of doing the unthinkable when they

become desperate enough). No, my name isn t really Mortimer Quigley. Thats my penname (but you can still find out who I am by reading this book and doing some researchif youre interested).

Dont be taken in by Internet posers that think they know how to rob a bank. If anyonereally wants to know how to do something, they should go to the source that has theknowledge and experience. After all, you wouldnt take your car to a doctor, now wouldyou? Well, of course not. You would take it to an authorized auto mechanic. (ThiseBook is unique in that it offers a real life perspective from someone that has actualknowledge of what it takes to rob a bank and to get away with it!)

I wrote this eBook in the form of an instruction manual, but it is in no way intended to bea guide for anyone planning to rob a bank; nor should it be considered a blueprint forthose wishing to commit criminal acts. Im merely sharing my experiences with other s

by writing this book as a fantasy and as a means of establishing my own emotional and psychological catharsis.

People might call me an anarchist because I decided to share such socially tabooinformation with the rest of the world, but I simply dont care. Im not going toapologize for what Ive written. We felons are constantly looked down upon and

continually reminded of our past transgressions by a society; unwilling to give us thefresh start that we need in order to redeem ourselves. I ask you, if those of us withcriminal pasts arent allowed the opportunity to re -integrate back into society, whathappens then? Perhaps people shouldnt be so surprised when millions of felons have tocontinue seeking alternative methods of income in order get the money they need to

pay their bills and put food on their tables for their loved ones. In my personal opinion,this is just one of the reasons why there is such a high recidivism rate among felons living


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here in America. If we cant get any traction ( i.e., get that good paying job, or be allowedthe opportunity to clear our criminal records and get our rights restored, etc.) and are leftto hopelessly flounder, is it any wonder at all why we fall back on what we know sowell? This is hypocrisy, plain and simple. It s a recipe for disaster and will build increscendo, until one day; it will leave society teetering on the verge of absolute anarchy.

(Granted, I myself have been able to stay out of trouble for 24 years now, but for somereason yet unknown to me, I seem to be the exception to the rule.) In my particularcase, nobody had a clue who had robbed the Old Kent Bank. Yet years later, I ended upturning myself in after the authorities had given up their search (my guilty conscience gotthe better of me)! The judge during my sentencing even mentioned how they wouldnever have found who had robbed the bank, had I not come forward to takeresponsibility. But by turning myself in, I essentially destroyed whatever chance I had ofever landing a great job and living an exemplary life. I am now considered, like most

felons, to be damaged goods .


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Good morning, Im here to rob you. Please put all your money intothis bag and dont touch the alarm or the bait money I have agun

Yes, I admit it. I robbed a bank on a bitterly cold day back in April of 1990. There Iwas, just 23 years old at the time, frozen to the bone, and frightened to death of what Iwas about to do, as I dropped down the kickstand on my ten-speed bike and parked it infront of the double glass entry doors to the Old Kent Bank on Plainfield Avenue in GrandRapids. I took a deep breath, let it out, and then opened the door to an uncertain future.

Note: This eBook will take the average reader approximately 15 minutes to read, but it iswell worth the price if youve ever wondered what really goes through the mind of

someone before, during, and after the process of robbing a bank. This book also includestips and tricks that could have helped me rob the bank more efficiently and effectively,had I used them.

My StoryThere were three tellers in the bank that day and I approached the one closest to me. Shewas an elderly woman with lightly colored hair neatly drawn up into a bun. I approachedher window. Go od morning, she said , her eyes smiling and her head tilted politely toone side. Good morning , I replied in kind, finally resting my fingers gingerly atop thecold dark marble countertop before me. Im here to rob you . Her gaze suddenly turnedto stone. From within my inner coat pocket, I pulled out a folded up black plastic

garbage bag and held it squarely in front of me. Please put the money into this bag anddont touch the alarm or the bait money, because I have a gun. I then tossed the bagover the transparent glass dividing us. The bag sailed over the partition and was soon toland on the floor behind her, had she not adeptly reached up to grasp the edge of it out ofthin air (as if catching a butterfly). She then unfurled it with just a flick of her wrist and

proceeded to toss wads of cash into it, each handful of money hitting the bottom of the bag, like a thick clump of molasses.

After what seemed an eternity, I said, Ok, ok, thats enough. She stopped a s Ireached over to take the bag. Have a good day, I said, smiling weakly, while turning to

run for the door. Outside the bank, I jumped onto my ten-speed bike, hit the kickstandand began to pedal for my safe haven, just two blocks away; my garbage bag-full of cashslung over the handlebars and now swinging wildly back and forth, back and forth, backand forth with every pedal stroke, like the pendulum to a Grandfather clock. tick -tock,tick-tock, tick-tock ! I thought to myself.


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She unfurled it with just a flick of her wrist and then proceeded to toss wads of cash intoit, each handful of money hitting the bottom of the bag, like a thick clump of molasses.The clock was now ticking!

After what seemed an eternity , I said, Ok, ok, thats enough. She stopped as Ireached over to take the bag. Have a good day, I said , smiling weakly, while turning torun for the door. Outside the bank, I jumped onto my ten-speed bike, hit the kickstandand began to pedal for my safe haven, just two blocks away; my garbage bag-full of cashslung over the handlebars and now swinging wildly back and forth, back and forth, backand forth with every pedal stroke, like the pendulum to a Grandfather clock. tick-tock,tick-tock, tick-tock! I thought to myself.

I could hear the faint sound of sirens in the distance as I arrived outside my safe haven. Iquickly put on the brakes, lifted the bike up onto my shoulder, opened the door, andswiftly climbed the stairs up and out of sight to the second floor above. Once there, I letthe bike fall away as I grabbed the backpack full of clothes I had stashed in a corner ofthe hallway only thirty-minutes earlier. The sirens were growing even louder and moredesperate now as I quickly unzipped the pack, pulled out my new set of clothes andchanged into them. I stuffed what money I had just stolen from the bank, along with myold disguise into the pack, slung it over my shoulder and hastily proceeded back down thestairs. Upon opening the door, I was assaulted with a convoy of screaming policecruisers flashing past in a blur: painting my once peaceful neighborhood in a sickly

pastiche of noises and colors. I swallowed hard as I could feel the first knot in mystomach begin to twist. I waited until the last cruiser shot by before I crossed the street

on the way to my second safe haven, five blocks away. There was no turning back now.I just robbed a bank! I was a fugitive on the run. tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock!

Getting Prepared

Bank robbery isnt for the faint of heart! It takes nerves of steel. Had I not been sodesperate at the time, I would never have considered committing such an act.

If you plan to rob a bank, psyche yourself up and be ready for the worst possiblescenario. You have to be prepared for anything! To put it in plainly, if you dont

properly prepare, you will be caught and sent to federal prison. Knowing that, are youdesperate enough to take such a drastic measure, and if so, are you really prepared to roba bank? (WARNING: What you consider now may affect the rest of your life.)


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Why People Rob Banks

Robbing a bank doesnt necessarily make you a bad person. People rob banks for amyriad of reasons (to put food on the table; to pay off bills; to buy drugs, or to coveraddictions, etc.). We all have our needs in this world, and we all work feverishly to coverthem. People so comfortably set in society will never truly understand what othershave to go through on a day-to-day basis. In the hierarchy of nature, i ts easy for thosethat are perched on the high branches and comfortably set to look down on others, soremember that, should you ever get caught and be forced to endure their hypocritical andincessant judgments.

Working Alone vs. Choosing a Partner(s)

Do you plan to have others help you pull off the robbery? If so, remember one thing; the

more people you include in your plan, the greater chances you have of being caught.Think twice about recruiting others that have a habit of gossiping, because their inabilityto keep your secret could end up capsizing your plans and may lead to your eventualarrest, before you even get started!

REMEMBER: Conspiracy to rob a bank is just as illegal as physically robbing a bank, so tell no one, unless you absolutely know for sure that you can trust the people that youwant on your crew.

Why Going It Alone Is Always the Best Choice

Whats the old saying? Loose lips sink ships. People have a weird way of wanting to tellothers what theyve done or what theyre going to do; especially if that particular something is illegal, outrageous, or incredibly dangerous! When I robbed my bank, Ididnt tell anyone, not even members of my own family, because I knew they couldnt betrusted to keep quiet.

REMEMBER: The best-kept secret is the one that you keep to yourself. The more people you tell, the more you risk being identified! If you dont tell anyone, the government hasto do its own legwork to find out who you are. Roughly 20 banks are robbed on

average in the United States every day; which amounts to approximately 7,196 bankrobberies a year . Add this number to the millions of other federal crimes that arecommitted each year, and you can see how your chances of being found out often hingeupon camera snapshots and word of mouth tips from witnesses, friends, or familymembers that cant seem to keep their mouth shut. So play it safe, stay silent, and getaway with it!
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Choosing Your Bank and Mapping Your Escape Route

How many banks and/or credit unions do you have in your area? Are they located atintersections, with several avenues of escape, or they situated in the middle of the block,with limited entry and exit points? How busy are they on any given day? When do theyopen and when do they close? What stores, restaurants, or apartment complexes arelocated nearby, and how far away are they (in terms of minutes or seconds)? Can you useany of them as safe havens, if need be, and if so, are there places to stash things; like a

backpack of clothes, or a getaway vehicle (like a bike or a car)? I ask these questions because it is vitally important that you have your access and exit routes mapped and planned out ahead of time. After I robbed my bank, the police had already set up a perimeter one square mile from the scene of the crime and were working hard to close inon my location. Had I not planned my escape earlier on, they would have captured mewithin minutes.

Choose a Bank As Far Away From the Police Station as Possible

The farther away you are from the police station the better. Sure, there may be a policecruiser or two roaming about within your immediate vicinity, but it takes roughly 30 to45 seconds for the police station to be alerted of the crime, should a bank teller press thealarm; and then another 1 to 5 minutes for the police to actually arrive at the scene,depending on how far away they eventually are from the bank. When I robbed my bank, Iassumed that the police were only five blocks away.

Transportation Alternatives and Fooling WitnessesHow will you escape: by car, by bike, or by foot? Whatever mode of transportation youdecide upon, you need to think of alternatives, both to and from the bank. People dont

bother planning and end up using the same vehicle that they use every day to rob the bank; essentially taunting the cops to catch them. Oftentimes witnesses, such as friendsor family, turn them in after watching their local news.

REMEMBER: Use one mode of transportation to arrive and leave the bank to get to your first safe haven; and then use another mode of transportation to get you to your

second safe haven. If at any point in time, you happen call a cab service, be sure to givethem false pickup and destination addresses so the F.B.I. cant trace your position basedon the cab drivers Intel. After all, you dont want the federal authorities tracing you to

your home and breaking down your door in the middle of the night, now do you? Play it safe, just in case, so that nobody can track you back home.


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Big Brother is Always Watching

We are all being watched from the moment that we wake up in the morning to themoment that we go to bed at night. You can find surveillance cameras spying on youfrom almost any street corner and from every store, bank, shopping mall, playground,school, and parking lot. When stopped at an intersection, take a moment to look up.Most likely, you ll notice a facial recognition camera staring right back at you. These arestrange times, my friend. What is even more frightening is that these surveillancecameras are quickly being linked to our social networks (e.g.; Facebook, Twitter, Google,LinkedIn, etc.) in order to better identify our movements and habits. How Orwellian!

Its laughable how the United States once considered to be the bastion of freedom isnow the most intrusive and invasive country on Earth when it comes to stripping you ofyour privacy and violating your civil liberties.

REMEMBER: Expect every movement you make to be watched and scrutinized by someone, somewhere the moment you leave your home, rob the bank, and eventuallymake it to your safe haven.

New Security Features

Many banks now have a security feature that allows tellers within the bank to capturesomeone, within a wall of glass. There are two sets of bulletproof glass doors: theinner and the outer entrance doors that make up the vestibule, which a customer musttransgress in order to get into and out of the bank. This new security feature keeps theinner doors locked until the outer doors of the bank are closed. A person entering via theouter set cannot open the inner set until the outer ones have closed and locked behindthem. It is only after those doors have locked do the inner doors unlock, thereby allowingthe customer into the bank. When a threat of robbery is detected, the bank tellers havethe capability of locking both the inner and outer doors, which could virtually leave anescaping thief caged within a prison of bulletproof glass! So do yourself a favor. Uponentering the bank, wedge a small rock between both the interior and exterior doors, as a

precaution. (Pretend that you are tying your shoe!) If you find that one set of doorswont open whil e the other is still propped open, dont rob that bank!

Weapons and the Consequences of Using Them

Brandishing a weapon, whether it be a gun, a knife, or something else, will only land youmore time in federal prison, should you be captured. The sentencing guidelines are basedheavily on a point system. During the sentencing phase, your intent (weapons used, theamount stolen, and past criminal record) will factor into your overall point score. This


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point system will be used by the federal prosecutor as well as the judge to render your prison sentence. The higher your point score, the more time you will spend in federal prison.

REMEMBER: You will be punished more harshly if you brandish a gun during therobbery, versus only implying (pretending) to have one.


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Hiding your Identity

Disguises (What Works - What D oesnt )

Disguises are a great way to fool tellers, but they have to be effective and realistic. If a bank teller spots you coming through the front door wearing a mask or a fake mustache,theyve already pressed the alarm and youve lost your element of surprise. You need agood disguise that will actually fool the tellers as well as the facial surveillance cameraslooming overhead. In short, you want everyone to be looking for the person that best fitsyour disgui se and not you .

Do you know anyone in the special effects field? If so, learn what you can from them tocreate the most basic, but effective disguises. My brother-in-law is a special effectsexpert and creates masks, monsters, and animatronics for movies and commercials. (Had

I known him back when I had robbed my own bank, I would have been better preparedfor the experience.) Consider your resources and use them wisely. If you dont know ofanyone that can help you in this day of constant surveillance, any made-up disguise is

better than none at all.

Body Types

Think about what you look like. An opposite appearance can be a very effectivedisguise. Consider changing your body shape to confuse the bank tellers and theauthorities. If youre skinny, consider a disguise that makes you look overweight. If you

are overweight, consider slimming down before robbing the bank.

How to Dress

Wear only non-descript clothing: nothing flashy and nothing you currently have in yourcloset. If your friends or family are prone to watch the six or eleven oclock news, thelast thing you want is for them to recognize you based on what you wear every day.(Dress in clothes that you would never consider wearing to throw everyone off yourtrail.) If youve decided to rob the bank in rags , consider setting aside a stash of

business clothes nearby to change into. A person wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, with a

garbage bag slung over their shoulder running down the street will be noticed: butsomeone wearing a coat and tie, while holding a briefcase and casually walking awaywill garner less attention.


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Making Your Intentions Known

Ok, so youre in the bank. Its t ime to make your intentions known to the teller(s), but ina way that will NOT cause absolute fear and chaos. Remember that bank tellers are

people too! They have a job to do, just like everyone else. Announce your intentionsfirmly, but not in an overly threatening manner, because shaky hands have a hard timedoing swift work. Smile, if you can. Be firm, but gentle.

Using Notes

If you make a verbal announcement that you plan to rob the bank, most likely, someonehas already pressed the alarm and everyone behind the counter will be working feverishlyto stall your attempt at escape for as long as possible to give police enough time to arriveon the scene. In addition, if there are any customers in the bank that have heard what you

plan to do, they may decide to become heroes and jump into action. This is the last thingyou want! Therefore, I would strongly suggest handing the teller a note if there are othercustomers present. That way, you have the element of surprise and have a better handleon the situation. When writing the note, plainly state what you want the teller to do.

Using Words

You could say something like, Good morning, Im here to rob you. Dont touch thealarm or the bait money and no dye packs, please . Put all the money into this bagIhave a gun. You have 45 seconds.

REMEMBER: Have a back up note in your pocket, just in case there are other people present.

Just One Teller Please

I suggest going to only one teller and making your demands known, because its mucheasier to control the action of one person than that of several. One teller is also able toafford you roughly $4,500-$5,000 within a 45-second period. If however, you want toengage more than one, you may be asking for trouble. If you spend too much time tryingto get away with everything, expect to get nothing. Dont waste precious seconds ! Getin and get out while you can.

REMEMBER: Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick- tock The clock is ticking! If you need moremoney, you can always rob another bank.

The Clock is Ticking


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Speaking of clocks, when I initially opened my mouth and stated my intentions to the bank teller, time seemed to slow down. The whole ordeal felt surreal: As if, I waswading through mud. Be aware of the effect that robbing a bank might have on you andtry to focus.

List of Commands

Whichever way you plan to announce your intentions, alert the bank teller(s) NOT to press the alarm, NOT to take the bait money out of the register, and NOT to put the dye packs into your bag, because if they do, you will come back and things will get muchworse, very quickly.

Bring Your Own Bag

This simple act of preparedness can be the difference between your success and failure.Time isnt on your side in this venture, so you need to be prepared for anything. If youdont bring your own bag, the tellers could use your inexperience as a means to waste

precious seconds while pretending to look for one. This is NOT what you want with theclock ticking down and the cops quickly closing in on you!


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THE GETAWAY

What You Can Expect to Get Per Bank (on Average) Using This Method

You can expect to take away approximately $4,000-$5,000 per bank robbery. Thisamount is based on what one teller can provide. Again, you can always rob another bankif you need more cash, but I wouldnt press my luck trying to get more money from othertellers while precious seconds are ticking by. Your decision to get greedy could land youin federal prison.

Did You Remember the Dye Pack?

Dont worry about it for now. I ts much better for you to use your time and energy toescape to your safe haven than to dig around in a bag searching for something that justmay not be there. If the teller did as he or she was instructed, your bag will be free of dye

packs. If however, you arrive at your destination only to find the contents saturated withred or blue dye, appreciate the fact that you at least escaped and have the opportunity totry it again next time.

SIMPLE TIPS AND TRICKS

Dont Rob a Bank on Drugs

Whatever you do, dont rob a bank on drugs! Drugs impede your ability to think clearly

and to discern the passage of time effectively. While crystal-meth may accelerate the perception of time, barbiturates may slow it down. Robbing a bank is dependent uponyou being present in the NOW . You need to be fully cognizant of what you are doing ifyou are to have any success at all.

Get In and Get Out

Bank robbery isnt the venture where you grab all that you can get, because it doesntwork that way. If youre the kind of person that thinks they can, go ahead and try.Eventually however, you ll end up in federal prison, along with the other idiots that

thought they could push the boundaries of a ticking clock. Ive said this repeatedly, g etin, and get out! After all, whatever you escape with is welcomed fare, is it not?

Bank Tellers and Profiling

Bank tellers will often describe bank robbers based on certain criteria: like height, race,weight, voice, and gestures. If you can change any one or all of these attributes, you have


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a much better chance of escaping with your identity intact and confusing your captors oftheir prey.

When to Rob A Bank

Rob a bank the moment it opens because customers are rare and the tellers arent expecting a bank robbery so early in the morning. In my opinion, Monday is the best dayto rob a bank. Moreover, it seems that the colder it is outside, the less people are willingto mill around, waiting for the bank to open.

Snow Can Be Your Worst Nightmare, or Your Best Friend

For one thing, anyone with eyes can follow footprints in the snow! You may not thinkthis important, but I know of one incident, where after a large snowfall, an eager

bystander caught three joy riders simply by tracking their footprints in the snow.Apparently, after cruising around for a while, they decided to ditch their stolen car in themiddle of a street. They then ran up a hill into a woods, thinking they had escaped,unnoticed. The bystander spying them, however, was able to track their footprints up thehill, through the woods, and to their eventual hideout, only a few blocks away. Afterreturning home, he immediately called the police and they were all arrested. (Now, had it

been heavily snowing at the time, the bystander might have lost track of their footprintsaltogether.) In a word: THINK!

Local vs. Out-of-State Banks and Crime Reporting

Do you want your picture plastered on your local news? If not, then rob a bank at least110 miles into the next state over, if you can. That way, it will be on some other states local news and not your local news . (Local in-house agencies rarely share crime-reporting news with out-of-state agencies, so think about that when planning.)


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Statute of Limitations for Bank Robbery

To put the Statute of Limitations in plain English: if you rob a bank, the federalauthorities are allowed five years from the date of the offense to find and prosecute you.If they cant identify you within that period, then you cant be prosecuted for the crime.If however, you rob a bank and are soon identified within the five-year period; the Statuteof Limitations does not apply, and you are prosecutable under the law. If you have aconscience, as I did, then everything you see and hear will be filtered through it. Iremember how, two years after I had robbed the bank, every siren I heard had my nameon it. It didnt matter the source ambulance s, fire trucks the police all of themseemed to be calling my name. One day, I happened to look out of my apartmentwindow to find a police car pulling up in my driveway. Shit , they found me! I thoughtto myself. Resigned to my fate and expecting them to break down my door at anymoment, I decided to meet them outside to give myself up. As I opened the screen door

to approach their vehicle, the cruiser backed up and drove away. That was a strangemoment. Ask yourself; can you live with that kind of fear and uncertainty twenty-fourhours a day, seven days a week, for five years until the statute of limitations runs itscourse? If you cant , then dont rob a bank.

To Spend or Not to Spend

Any money that you take in a bank robbery will be listed as missing the moment you exitthe bank. This means that every serial number on every bill taken will have an A.P.B.out on its head. What does this mean for you? Well, it means that anything you decideto buy with your ill-gotten gains before the statute of limitations is up can be immediatelytracked by the F.B.I. I wouldnt deposit any of this money into a bank account orcertificate of deposit to gain interest, either, because all the associated bills will beflagged the moment they enter a bank s sorting department. Can you live on your own,without spending any of this money for five years? If you cant , then dont rob a bank.

You can however, rent a safety deposit box (using other monies, not stolen of course ) todeposit your newfound stash of cash. If you re smart, you ll pay close attention to thestatute of limitations, rent a deposit box under an assumed name, and leave the cashalone. Are you planning several bank robberies? If so, do the same thing with each, butfor heavens sake, dont open the safety deposit box right after committing the robbery,

because the feds will be looking for suspicious activity within one to three months of thecrime. Wait awhile, and then rent the box. If youre worried about being recognized bysome facial recognition program, simply have someone else go into the bank and rent thesafety deposit for you.


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Pre-Sentence Investigation SAY NOTHING!

If you happen to get caught while robbing the bank, say nothing to the pre-sentenceinvestigator unless your court-appointed attorney is present to guide you through theentire process. If they cant be there with you at the time of the appointment, then sayabsolutely NOTHING ! Why, you ask? Well, for one thing, pre-sentence investigatorscollect everything that you share with them and offer it up to both the defense and the

prosecution . Anything you share with a pre-sentence investigator may one day be usedagainst you in a court of law. Unfortunately, I found this out too late to do me any good.Being the remorseful soul that I was and without my attorney being present I told the

pre-sentence investigator everything. In return, the prosecutor pounced on what I had tooffer during my interview with the investigator and twisted what I had shared to make melook like a monster! Thankfully, the judge realized what the prosecutor was trying to do,scolded him harshly, and granted me a downward departure (gave me less time in prison)

under the sentencing guidelines.

REMEMBER: No matter what you are promised by anyone, or how sorry you may be for what you did, say nothing (especially if your attorney isnt present). The truth WILL NOT set you free in this case! Our government isnt on our side and it will only try tomake an example of you, so provide little to no information. Whatever you offer will onlybe used against you in a court of law.


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The Big Rundown

Be Prepared: If you plan to rob a bank, psyche yourself up and be ready for theworst possible scenario. You have to be prepared for anything! To put it in plainly,if you dont properly prepare, you will be caught and sent to federal prison.

Working Alone vs. Choosing a Partner(s): Do you plan to have others help you pull off the robbery? If so, remember one thing; the more people you include in your plan, the greater chances you have of being caught. Think twice about recruitingothers that have a habit of gossiping, because their inability to keep your secret couldend up capsizing your plans and may lead to your eventual arrest, even before youeven get started!

Choosing Your Bank and Mapping Your Escape Route: It is vitally important thatyou have your access and exit routes mapped and planned out ahead of time.

Transportation Alternatives and Fooling Witnesses: Use one mode of

transportation to arrive and leave the bank to get to your first safe haven; and then useanother mode of transportation to get you to your second safe haven. If at any pointin time, you happen call a cab service, be sure to give them false pickup anddestination addresses so the F.B.I. cant trace your position based on the cab driversIntel. After all, you dont want the federal authorities tracing you to your home and

breaking down your door in the middle of the night, now do you? Play it safe, just incase, so that nobody can track you back home.

Big Brother is Always Watching: Expect every movement you make to be watchedand scrutinized by some governmental agency the very moment you leave your home,rob the bank, and eventually make it back to your safe haven.

Weapons and the Consequences of Using Them: You will be punished moreharshly if you brandish a gun during the robbery, versus only implying (pretending)to have one.

Hiding your Identity: You need a good disguise that will actually fool the banktellers as well as the facial recognition/surveillance cameras looming overhead. If ateller spots you coming through the front door wearing a mask or a fake mustache,theyve already pressed the alarm and youve lost your elem ent of surprise. In short,you want everyone to be looking for the person that best fits your disguise and notyou .

Fingerprints: You dont want your fingerprints anywhere in the bank! Whether ornot you have a criminal record, you need to prevent the police from finding out youridentity. I would strongly suggest using NU-skin, Liquid Band-Aid, or simple latexgloves to conceal your prints. What is NU-skin or Liquid Band-Aid, you ask? Theyare compounds that have been out on the market for decades. They can be found inthe first aid section of any pharmacy. Not only do they work well covering small cutsand abrasions, but they are also extremely effective at hiding fingerprints.


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Making Your Intentions Known:o Using Notes: I would strongly suggest handing the teller a note if there are

other customers present. That way, you have the element of surprise and youhave a better handle on the situation. When writing the note, plainly statewhat you want the teller to do.

o Using Words: If you decide to make an announcement, you could saysomething like, Good morning, Im here to rob you. Dont touch the alarmor the bait moneyand no dye packs, please. Put all the money into this

bagI have a gun. You have 45 seconds. Dont Get Greedy: Get what you can within the time window afforded to you and

leave the bank as fast as you can. (After all, it is much better to get away withsomething than with nothing at all.)

The Clock is Ticking: When I initially opened my mouth and stated my intentions tothe bank teller, time seemed to slow down. The whole ordeal felt surreal: As if, I was

wading through mud! Be aware of the effect that robbing a bank might have on youand try hard to fight the feeling.

Bring Your Own Bag: This simple act of preparedness can be the difference between your success and failure. Time isnt on your side in this venture, so youneed to be prepared for anything and everything. If you dont bring your own bag,the tellers could use your inexperience as a means to waste precious seconds while

pretending to look for one. Dont Rob a Bank on Drugs: Drugs impede your ability to think clearly and to

discern the passage of time effectively. While crystal-meth may accelerate the perception of time, barbiturates may slow it down. Robbing a bank is dependentupon you being present in the NOW . You need to be fully cognizant of what you aredoing if you are to have any success.

When to Rob A Bank: Rob a bank the moment it opens because customers are rareand the tellers arent expecting a bank robbery so early in the morning. In myopinion, Monday is the best day to rob a bank. Moreover, it seems that the colder it isoutside, the fewer people are willing to mill around to wait for the bank to open.

Snow Can Be Your Worst Nightmare or Your Best Friend: Anyone with eyescan follow footprints in the snow! Had it been heavily snowing at the time, the

bystander might have lost track of their footprints THINK!

Local vs. Out-of-State Banks and Crime Reporting: Do you want your picture plastered on your local news? If not, then rob a bank at least 110 miles into the nextstate over, if you can. That way, it will be on some other states local news and not

your local news . (Local in-house agencies rarely share crime-reporting news without-of-state agencies, so think about that when planning.)

Statute of Limitations for Bank Robbery: If you rob a bank, the federal authoritiesare allowed five years from the date of the offense to find and prosecute you. If they


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cant identify you within that period, you cant be prosecuted for the crime. Ifhowever, you rob a bank and are identified soon afterward, the statute of limitationsdoes not apply and you are prosecutable under the law.

To Spend or Not to Spend: Any money that you take in a bank robbery will be listedas missing the moment you exit the bank. This means that every serial number onevery single bill that you have taken will have an All Points Bulletin out on it. Whatdoes this mean for you? Well, it means that anything you decide to buy with your ill-gotten gains before the statute of limitations is up can be immediately tracked by theF.B.I. I wouldnt deposit any of this money into a bank account or certificate ofdeposit to gain interest, either, because all the associated bills will be flagged themoment they enter a banks sorting department. Knowing that, can you live on yourown, without spending any of this money for five years? (If you cant, then dont roba bank!) You can however, rent a safety deposit box (using other monies, not stolenof course ) to deposit your newfound stash of cash. If youre smart, youll pay close

attention to the statute of limitations, rent a deposit box under an assumed name, andleave the cash alone.

Pre-Sentence Investigation SAY NOTHING! If you happen to get caught whilerobbing the bank, say nothing to the pre-sentence investigator unless your court-appointed attorney is present to guide you through the entire process. If they cant bethere with you at the time of the appointment, then say absolutely NOTHING ! Pre-sentence investigators collect everything that you share with them and offer it up to

both the defense and the prosecution . Anything you share with a pre-sentenceinvestigator may one day be used against you in a court of law.


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RISKS vs. REWARDS

Some Make Bank Robbery an Exciting Lifestyle

Yes, some people enjoy robbing banks! The surge of excitement one can get fromrobbing a bank is not only intoxicating, but also addictive. Is it therefore any wonderwhy some adrenaline junkies choose to rob banks for the thrill alone?

The Economic Environment

Do you remember ten years ago, when you could open your local newspaper and turn tothe Classifieds section to find page -after-page of Help Wanted ads? Well, you wontfind that anymore. Today, youll be lucky if you can pick up the paper and find just onecolumn of ads with most of those now being part- time

With full-time employment in the United States becoming virtually extinct, due to theoutsourcing of our jobs by American corporations determined to cut their costs in order toincrease profits for their shareholders, should it really surprise anyone why some peoplein this country have become fed up with trying to make ends meet and have decidedinstead to seek alternative methods of income ?


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In Conclusion

Dont Turn Yourself in Under Any Circumstances

I cant stress this enough. If you decide to rob a bank, DO NOT TURN YOURSEL F I N,UNDER AN Y CIRCUMSTANCES . I made that mistake 24 years ago after my guiltyconscience got the better of me and Im still regretting my decision. I had big dreams of

becoming a journalist, a radiologist, and even an attorney (but Im now lucky if I can find just one employer willing to take a chance on hiring me). What s worse is that by turningyourself in, you essentially ruin all prospects you might have for a future. In addition,getting a bank robbery conviction expunged from your record is near to impossible,

because the only person that can offer you a federal pardon is none other than thePresident of the United States . After talking to several federal attorneys that specialize incriminal law, seeking a pardon in this situation is not only very expensive, but essentially

fruitless.

Criminal records show up on credit reports too, which may ultimately affect your FICOscore, thus making it harder for you to get a job, credit, buy a home, a car, insurance, etc.

Moreover, if you haven t noticed already, many employers arent willing to hire peoplewith criminal records these days, let alone those truthful enough to list bank robbery ontheir job applications. Even if you went out of your way to turn yourself in out of guilt,as I did, employers just dont care. In todays economic climate, companies havethousands of qualified candidates from which to choose. So why would they even give

your application a second glance, when they can pick from a pool of people that have nocriminal convictions? In short, they wouldnt . Like I stated before, you can always lieon your application and claim that youve never been convicted of a crime in hopes ofgetting a job, but most employers check for that sort of thing before hiring anyone new.

There you have it. I hope that Ive entertained you while also giving you a little insightas to what really goes on in the mind of a bank robber.

The End

the fifteen-minute guide to bank robbery

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