the compassionate classroom
DESCRIPTION
VPLD Hot Seat session 26th October 2011Fiona WhiteMediation MattersTRANSCRIPT
The Compassionate Classroom- open communication
VPLD session 26th October 2011
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
with Fiona White of Mediation Matters
Teacher Tube video
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
• What do you think is the intention of the principal in using this demonstration? What are they hoping will be the effect on the students?
• What do you think might be the actual effect on the students? What might be the consequences of such a demonstration?
Rules & Values
Values exercise:• What words would you use to describe the
classroom/school you would like to be a part of? • What does ‘respectful communication’ look like
for you?• What obstacles might get in the way of you living
up to these values?• What might you do when you perceive that
someone’s behaviour doesn’t match these values?
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
Our brain in conflict
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
Mirror Neurons:
Mirror neurons fire in the brains of observers watching a given action, and replicate to some extent the experience of the one being observed. These neurons fire when we observe someone else angry, suffering or frightened, reproducing those experiences in the form of empathy.
Picture from www.nccr-neuro.uzh.ch
Our brain in conflict
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
The Limbic System:
List of feelings/emotionsWhen needs are met: When needs are not met:
Comfortable, full, satisfied, easy, content, relaxed, fulfilled, safe Glad, happy, excited, hopeful, joyful, delighted, grateful, encouraged, confident, cheerful, elated, enthusiasticGrateful, appreciative, thankful
Interested, curious, engaged, intent, involved, absorbedLoving, connected, touched, warm, affectionate, tender, open, friendly, compassionate, nurturedRested, refreshed, rejuvenated, energized, strong, invigorated, alive, alert, relaxedPeaceful, calm, serene, trusting, tranquil, clear, composed, secure, at ease, content
Uncomfortable, pained, uneasy, hurt, miserable, embarrassed
Sad, unhappy, troubled, disheartened, heavy, lonely, anguished, gloomy, despairing, depressed
Annoyed, disappointed, bitter
Uninterested, aloof, bored, distant, apathetic, disinterested, withdrawn
Mad, angry, furious, aggravated, irritated, enraged, hostile, bitter, upset, frustrated
Tired, exhausted, fatigued, lethargic, weary, sleepy, dull, overwhelmed, discouraged
Scared, fearful, afraid, anxious, hesitant, reluctant, shocked, terrified, horrified, unsettled
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
List of NeedsSpace Belonging Fairness Integrity Trust
Choice Celebration Growth Appreciation Hope
Respect Community Purpose Efficiency Order
Progress Patience Nourishment Inclusion Compassion
Equality Honesty Play Consideration To be heard
Co-operation Keepingagreements Rest Connection Joy
Acceptance Empowerment Clarity Support Transparency
Independence Safety/security Authenticity Understanding/be understood
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
What would you like this student to do?
Specific positive action request
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
List of feelings/emotionsWhen needs are met: When needs are not met:
Comfortable, full, satisfied, easy, content, relaxed, fulfilled, safe Glad, happy, excited, hopeful, joyful, delighted, grateful, encouraged, confident, cheerful, elated, enthusiasticGrateful, appreciative, thankful
Interested, curious, engaged, intent, involved, absorbedLoving, connected, touched, warm, affectionate, tender, open, friendly, compassionate, nurturedRested, refreshed, rejuvenated, energized, strong, invigorated, alive, alert, relaxedPeaceful, calm, serene, trusting, tranquil, clear, composed, secure, at ease, content
Uncomfortable, pained, uneasy, hurt, miserable, embarrassed
Sad, unhappy, troubled, disheartened, heavy, lonely, anguished, gloomy, despairing, depressed
Annoyed, disappointed, bitter
Uninterested, aloof, bored, distant, apathetic, disinterested, withdrawn
Mad, angry, furious, aggravated, irritated, enraged, hostile, bitter, upset, frustrated
Tired, exhausted, fatigued, lethargic, weary, sleepy, dull, overwhelmed, discouraged
Scared, fearful, afraid, anxious, hesitant, reluctant, shocked, terrified, horrified, unsettled
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
List of NeedsSpace Belonging Fairness Integrity Trust
Choice Celebration Growth Appreciation Hope
Respect Community Purpose Efficiency Order
Progress Patience Nourishment Inclusion Compassion
Equality Honesty Play Consideration To be heard
Co-operation Keepingagreements Rest Connection Joy
Acceptance Empowerment Clarity Support Transparency
Independence Safety/security Authenticity Understanding/be understood
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
Nonviolent Communication 4-part strategy
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
Observation:
When you say ...
(without evaluation)
I see ... ‘x’ happens.
Feelings: Are you (feeling) ... I feel ... Needs: becaus
e you’re needing ...
I’m needing ...
Request: Would you like to …
I would like to …Would you be willing to ...(must be a clear message of what you want to happen)
What are you taking away from today’s VPLD session?
Fiona White’s contact details Mobile: (+64) 021 232 6805Email: [email protected]: www.mediationmatters.co.nzFacebook ID: Mediation matters NZ Blog: www.theconflicttoolbox.wordpress.com
Other topics to consider:• The power of empathy – for self and others. • Rules & values - Values exercise for behavioural expectations.• Four uses of the 4-part strategy: for self-empathy, empathy for others,
expressing own needs, & expressing gratitude. • How the labels we use limit our connections with others – teacher, student,
principal. • How we behave towards authority, and as an authority – the choices we make. • Reward & Punishment and their effects – performance appraisals that work.
The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11