Mom, I’m pregnant!: Psychological experiences ofSelected Mothers in parenting their

Pregnant teenage daughter

Paulito V. Hilario, M.A.

Eva A. Castronuevo, M.S.

Ma. Isabel P. Velayo

San Beda College, Alabang

Abstract

Parenting teenagers has often been described by modern society as difficult and filled with a lot of challenges. Dealing with a pregnant teenager does not make it any easier. Mothers simultaneously confront psychological issues within and with their daughter in coping with the transitions of their child’s untimely entrance to parenthood.

This research explored the unique experiences of selected mothers (n=3) in Southern Manila by the qualitative analysis of their experiences in dealing with the pregnancy of their teenage daughter. The research employed the “pakikipagkwentuhan” as specific source of gathering data through an in-depth interview session. Implications for adolescent counseling, interventions in preventing teenage pregnancy and parenting are discussed.

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness”. - Honore' de Balzac

Teenage pregnancy in the Philippines is increasingly becoming a major cause of concern. There is a rising trend of young women becoming mothers and majority of whom are unmarried. Young pregnant women are more vulnerable to death during pregnancy while childbirth and a huge number are not physically and emotionally prepared for motherhood. This is a direct reflection that there is inadequate and inaccurate information on adolescent pregnancy and not enough priority is given to maternal and child health care. (The Fair and Fearless Freeman: Teenage Pregnancy, a rising trend among young women, 2005)

If pregnancy occurs, teenagers and their families deserve honest and sensitive counseling about options available to them, from abortion to adoption. Special support systems, including consultation with a child and adolescent psychiatrist when needed, should be available to help the teenager throughout the pregnancy, the birth, and the decision about whether to keep the infant or give it up for adoption. There may be times when the pregnant teenager's emotional reactions and mental state will require referral to a qualified mental health professional (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: When Children Have Children, 2004).

The ability to talk openly about problems is one of the most important aspects of the parent and child relationship.  Developing this relationship and open communication takes time, persistence, and understanding.  The relationship develops gradually by spending time with the child.  Meal times, story telling, reading, playing games, outings, vacations, and celebrations are important opportunities for parents to spend time with their child.  Parents should also try to spend some individual time with each child, particularly when talking about difficult or upsetting things.  This relationship creates the foundation for talking with the child when struggles and conflicts emerge during adolescence (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: Parenting: Preparing for Adolescence, 2001)

Whatever feelings you're experiencing, this is likely to be a difficult time for your family. The important thing to realize is that your teen needs you now more than ever. Being able to communicate with each other - especially when emotions are running high - is essential. Teens who are carrying a baby to term have special health concerns, and your child will have a healthier pregnancy - emotionally and physically - if she knows she doesn't have to go it alone (Homeier, 2005).

While this fact isn’t fully discuss yet, the researcher would attempt to illustrate more of the psychological effects of early pregnancy on teenager’s mother aged 38 – 56 from the City of Las Piñas. The main objective of the study is to consider the mental and emotional behavior of the parents all through out the pregnancy of the teenager. It is to include the details like what are the mother’s initial reactions upon knowing, the actions they went through, how this situation affected the whole family, and the emotional and mental effects they have gone throughout the pregnancy.

Review of Related Literature and Studies

Teenage Pregnancy comprises a series of crisis, trials and action. This review of research evidence was arranged from the teen sexual activity, teen pregnancy, role of mothers, and family problem.

Teen Sexual Activity

According to Guttmacher (1999), the likelihood of teenagers' having intercourse increases with age; however, about 1 in 5 young people do not have intercourse while teenagers.

Based on Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study (2004), a number of young adults also experienced reproductive health problems and symptoms. Nineteen percent of young females said they have experienced painful urination while 6% have had abnormal vaginal discharges. Three percent of males said they have had penile discharges, 23% have had painful urination, and 3% have had warts or ulcers in their penis.

Raymundo and Lusterio (1995) found 18 percent of the youth (26% of the boys and 10% of the girls) all over the country have had pre]-marital sex experience.

Derived from Alan Guttmacher Institute," Sex and America's Teenagers (1994), More than half of 17-year-olds have had intercourse. Most young people begin having sex in their mid-to-late teens, about 8 years before they marry.

As said by Moore KA et al. (1998), while 93% of teenage women report that their first intercourse was voluntary, one-quarter of these young women report that it was unwanted.

Teen Pregnancy

Teenage pregnancy itself is perceived by our society as a deviation from normal. It has been placed alongside drug abuse and crime on Government initiative agendas (Mowlam, 2000; Gilham, 1997).

As stated BY (Baker, 1999) this overt pathologisation reinforces a culture of disapproval of teenage pregnancy; having babies when you are young is seen as a bad thing

In line with Guttmacher, Teen Sex Overview: Teen Pregnancy (1999), Each year, almost 1 million teenage women--10% of all women aged 15-19 and 19% of those who have had sexual intercourse--become pregnant.

According to Henshaw, S.K. (1998), data from the mid-1990s indicate that 43 percent of pregnancies to teens aged 15-19 ended in unintended births and another 35 percent ended in abortions.

Maynard, R. (Ed.) (1997) said, mothers who do have a teen birth are more disadvantaged, on average, than are other teens and have children who face negative health, cognitive, and behavioral outcomes.

Teenage pregnancy is also linked with low educational achievement, non-participation in education, training or employment, sexual abuse, mental health problems and crime (Social Exclusion Unit, 1999).

Role of Mothers

Parents are given little advice on how to talk with their children about sex and school-based sex education is patchy and often under-developed and inconsistent. As a result there is a considerable amount of misinformation and ignorance among youths about sex, and how to cope with puberty and adolescence (Social Exclusion Unit, 1999).

According to Homeier, M.D (2005), whatever feelings you’re experiencing; this is likely to be a difficult time for your family. The important thing to realize your teen needs you now more than ever. Being able to communicate with each other – especially when emotions are running high – is essential.

Based on CHILDREN'S DEFENSE FUND (1996) , that is, the challenges of adolescence derive from the fact that youth today are both in need of parenting that promotes their positive development and, AT THE SAME TIME, historically unprecedented numbers of adolescents are themselves becoming parents and, typically, unmarried parents.

Family Problem

The degree to which these families and their children are able to manage such stressors is likely to affect their level of adjustment according to Kazak, Segal-Andrews, & Johnson (1995).

Based on Melamed (1991) Families with children who have chronic illnesses or physical disabilities face multiple burdens due to frequent hospitalizations, financial strain, time-consuming medical regimens, and other stressors.

McGreW (1991) stated, The teenagers' parents are often thrust into the role of raising two children--the teenager and his or her child. Further, they find themselves stressed emotionally and economically at a time when they were looking forward to their children becoming self-sufficient.

FIG. 1. HILL'S ABCX MODEL OF FAMILY STRESS

The two protective factors helps to buffer the family from acute stressor and diminish the relationship between stressors and family crisis. Social relationships are further distinguished as being within family variables, e.g. attachment, positive family bonds, effective communication, as well as across family variables: i.e. social isolation vs. informal and formal social support networks; Perceptions (C Factor) include the range in cognitions and attitudes between hope and personal effectiveness vs. despair, and helplessness. These two complex factors relate together with the acute stressors and ongoing social context of chronic stressors, to predict family crises.

PROTECTIVE FACTOR ( SOCIAL RELATIONSHIP)(B) ATTACHMENT, POSITIVE FAMILY BONDS, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION, SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS

PROTECTIVE FACTOR ( PERCEPTION)(C) COGNITIONS AND ATTITUDES BETWEEN

HOPE AND PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

VS. DESPAIR, HELPLESSNESS

FAMILY STRESSORA) DEPRESSION, ARGUMENTS,NEVER HAVE TIME TO RELAX, SELDOM TALK ABOUT THE FEELINGS, STRESS AT WORK, STRESS AT SCHOOL, TRIVIALIZE, SINGLE PARENT, TEENAGE PREGNANCY

FAMILY CRISIS(X) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SUBSTANCE ABUSE (RELAPSES), ILLNESS FROM WEAKENED IMMUNE SYSTEM, ACCIDENTS, DEATH

Conceptual FrameworkTeen pregnancy has become known to be one of the most serious social problems in the

whole world. The youths today is at high risk of becoming an early and immature parent who are expose to a malevolent behaviors. This issue is a severe family stressor that may quickly lead to a family crisis. The researcher should study the psychological effects it brings about to the parents.

This conceptual paradigm illustrates the factors affecting teen pregnancy and the psychological effects of this concern the parents.

Individuals who experience too many stressors at one time, i.e., too many changes in their daily routines and circumstances, are at increased risk within one year for having an accident, for becoming physically ill (Ell, 1984), for having an impaired immune system, for becoming violent, or for relapsing (Pianta, Egeland and Sroufe, 1990; Rutter, 1983). An acute family stressor may come quickly to a family crisis. These family crises include domestic violence, substance abuse, and illness from weakened immune systems, divorce, accidents, and children being abused or neglected.

Hill’s theoretical constructs include the protective factors to survive multiple contextual stressors and to continue to proficiently parent despite chronic and acute stressors. The two protective factors include the social relationships, which distinguished as being with in the family variables like attachment, positive family bonds, effective communication and the social isolation vs. informal and formal social support networks.

The other factor is the perception in which it ranges in the cognitions and attitudes between hope and personal effectiveness vs. despair and helplessness. These two complex variables were theorized to buffer the family from acute stressors and reduce the direct correlation between multiple stressors and family crisis.

Research studies have since offered support for Hill and McCubbin's theoretical constructs. The combination of high stress with social isolation (the "B" variable) for families has been highly correlated with many forms of dysfunctional family outcomes (Garbarino and Abramowitz, 1982; Belle, 1980; Cyrnic, Greenberg, Robinson and Ragozin, 1984; Egeland, Breitenbucher and Rosenberg, 1980; Ell, 1984; Lindblad-Goldberg, 1987; Marks and McLanahan, 1993; Simons, Beaman, Conger and Chao, 1993; Tracy, 1990; Wahler, 1983). The “B” variable that is social relationships must be important especially for an individual who are undergoing stress. Social isolation means the increase in the impact of multiple stresses of family functioning.

If a family experiences multiple stressors AND 1) they are socially isolated and emotionally disconnected to one another, AND 2) they are depressed, hopeless, and disempowered, THEN they will be at increased risk for illness, accidents, child abuse and neglect, and substance abuse, delinquency and school failure (Attneave, 1986; Belle, 1980). The content of the concept explains that an individual who are in high pressure and anxiety and do not find positive relationship with his family are at increased risk for experiencing aggravated family crisis.

Some families had positive appraisals towards the problem, which increase their ability to accept their circumstances. A family that shares perception about the stressor may prevent them from opposing a family crisis. They should have positive set of cognitions, empowered attitudes and active informal and formal support network. In this way, there would be a reduction in a stressful life experiences.

Since the world today is a place of evil temptations, the families of high-risk youth must identify, understand and strengthen family protective factors. There must be a positive social connections and empowered outlook. In addition, the family together with the youth should survive the multiple chronic and acute stressed of poverty and neighborhood disorganization over time to reduce their drug dependency and associated crime.

Positive bonds and social relationships (B Factor) are directly promoted on six distinct levels of the child's social ecology (Bronfenbrenner; Garbarino). This idea refers to the child-to-parent bond, family units bonds, parent-to-parent bond, parent-to-self-help group bond, parent affiliation to school and parent linkages to community.

Interactive activities within the family, like eating meals together, attending mass every Sunday, vacations, playing game board, watching movies etc. would decrease the influence of family stress on the family functioning.

Method

This study was fundamentally descriptive, as the purpose was to gather information about current situation of the mothers undergoing family stress. It involved collection of data and answering the questions to find out different psychological effects of teenage pregnancy to mothers. This research intended to give the accurate description by means of personal interviews to the respondents.

Research Participants

The respondents in this study were three (3) mothers aged 38 – 56 of the pregnant teenagers from 13 – 19 years of Las Piñas City. Respondents were interviewed individually with the use of tape recorder to file the answers of the parents to the interviewer.

The researcher used a purposive sampling by picking out respondents particularly the parents of teenagers who got pregnant. The desirable sample size was according to the availability of the sampling method of the study.

The researcher respected the respondent’s request for confidentiality of the details given.

Research Instruments

The researcher collected all the needed facts and information required in the study. The researcher focused on the interview with a self-constructed guide questions to be able to maintain unity to all the participants involved.

The interview method was used in gathering data; it included the demographic profile of the respondents, their initial reactions upon learning the situation, the actions they made after knowing and its psychological effects on them. This was administered to the 3 impartially selected participants.

ProcedureThe researcher indicated a specific research device that corresponded to the needs of the

study. The device’s purpose was to have guide questions for the interview which identified the psychological effects of teenage pregnancy on mothers. The researcher personally went to the respondent’s house and conducted a free-flowing conversation where privacy and confidentiality of the interview was strictly observed. The researcher used a tape recorder for the purpose of consistent filing of the respondent’s answer with proper consent from them.

Data Analysis

The answers of the three (3) respondents were compared in accordance to their common replies in terms of mental and emotional elements of the parents. It was also associated with the protective factors that buffer family stress and to survive from multiple related stressors.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION

Demographic Profile

Case # 1: Mrs. AAge: 46Religion: CatholicOccupation: Government EmployeeCivil Status: MarriedDaughter’s age when she got pregnant: 18

Case # 2: Mrs. BAge: 56Religion: ChristianOccupation: HomemakerCivil Status: MarriedDaughter’s age when she got pregnant: 17

Case #3: Mrs. CAge: 38Religion: CatholicOccupation: HomemakerCivil Status: MarriedDaughter’s age when she got pregnant: 17

Psychological Effects of Teenage Pregnancy on Mothers

Professor Reuben Hill’s theoretical constructs included the protective factor to survive multiple contextual stressors and to continue to proficiently parent despite chronic and acute stressors. The two protective factors included the social relationships and the perception.

According to Reuben Hill (1983), social relationships were distinguished as being within the family variables; examples are attachment, positive family bonds, effective communication as well as across family variables: that is the social isolation versus informal and formal social support networks. Perceptions in contrast, included the range in cognitions and attitudes between hope and personal effectiveness versus despair, and helplessness.

Mrs. A remembered she had the “mother instinct” that something’s wrong with her daughter; “Napapansin ko na lagi siyang malungkot at laging maga ang mata” (I have observed that she was always sad and have bloated eyes).

Her intuition became stronger when she found out a Sytotec in her daughter’s room. This was the time she already confronted her daughter and asked if she’s pregnant. “Hindi ako nagalit sa anak ko, nagalit ako sa nangyari sa kanya” ( I did not get angry to my daughter, I was angry for what happened to her), exclaimed Mrs. A. However, she was very down and disappointed with what happened to her daughter, since she gave her everything she wants; “Ni hindi siya sakin nakatikim ng sampal o ano” (I never get aggressive nor physical with her). In the course of the interview, I saw and felt how low Mrs. A was during those times.

In spite of how sad Mrs. A was, she accepted the situation and showed her concern. “Kung may baby na talaga yan, kelangan na niya ng medical attention para maalagaan siya at hindi naman siya lumabas na kung ano” (If you’re already carrying a baby, you should receive medical attention to make sure the baby will be given special medical treatment). She also explained to her daughter that she may hear negative things from other people, “Marami kang maririnig na sabi-sabi ng mga tao, ng mga kapitbahay, huwag mo isipin yun, ang importante andito kame sa likod mo, at alagaan mo yang asa tiyan mo, dahil magka-diperensiya yan problema pa rin natin lahat yan” (You may hear a lot of things and comments from other people, you should not be bothered, what’s important, were hear to support you and you must take care of your baby inside your tummy).

Another thing that concerned Mrs. A was the fear that her daughter may not be able to finish her studies. Yet this fear was gone when she saw her daughter exerting effort in going to

school everyday though her stomach was getting bigger; “Na ano naman ako sa kanya dahil pumapasok pa siya, hindi siya nahiya, wala siyang ni-reklamo sakin” ( I appreciated her effort to continue her studies, she was not ashamed and she never complained anything).

Mrs. A evoked that she was sure not to allow her daughter to receive the sacrament of Matrimony. “Iniisip ko kasi pano kung hindi sila mag-click, papaano na, ang hirap hirap magpa- annul ng marriage, tsaka magkakaroon ng psychological effect, aksidente yan at pareha pa silang bata” (I imagine if they did not get along, it’s hard to have an annulment and it may bring psychological effects on them, it was an accident and they were still very young) explained Mrs. A.

In the flow of the interview, I know Mrs. A was still confused during that time yet she handled her emotions well because she had the positive attitude and perception towards the problem. She also said that she knows how her daughter feels since she also got pregnant outside marriage.

Like what Prof. Hill points out, Mrs. A obtained the two protective factors to reduce the correlation between the stressor and family crisis. Mrs. A had a stronger bond with her daughter, they became closer, and she also talked to the other family members especially the father.

She also mentioned that she doesn’t care how others may react towards the incident because this would not help her daughter. The way she accepted the fact, she did not get mad and took it as a lesson for the whole family.

“Monthly naka monitor ako sa kanyang menstruation magbuhat noong magkaroon siya” (I monitor her menstruation period ever since she had) as Mrs. B admits. This was the reason why she already had a doubt that her daughter was pregnant when a month and a half passed without her period. Mrs. B brought her daughter to the hospital and found out that it was positive. “It saddened me, pero para magalit hindi, kasi alam ko na nagsisinungaling na siya bago pa” (It saddened me, but I did not get mad at her because I knew from the start that she was already lying), like with Mrs. A’s initial reaction, Mrs. B felt disappointed.

“Andyan na yan, hindi ako ang magpapalaglag niyan, siguro maaaring palaglag ko yan kung hindi ako Kristyano” (It’s already there, I will not be the one to abort that, I may only to do it if I am not a Christian) strongly stated by Mrs. B. It was her new religion (Christian) that prevented Mrs. B in letting her daughter prevented an abortion. She reasoned out that her daughter was still studying and was young for that responsibility.

As a brave woman, Mrs. B did not care on what their relatives and neighbors would comment them; “Yung mga kamag-anak namin hindi nga makapag-tanong dahil alam nila matapang ako at kaya ko. Wala rin kami pakialam sa mga neighbors namin kasi their family is not perfect also!” (Our relatives knew that I am a brave person so they did not even ask anything about it. I also did not mind what our neighbors would say, because their family is not perfect also!)

Mrs. B worries about their future because her family is not well off; “Yung budget naming mag-ina sakto lang tapos eto ngayon buntis siya, mahahati pa lalo para doon sa baby” (Our money is just enough for us, since she’s already having a baby, we will budget it now.) Mrs. B’s first concern was their financial status although they know that the boyfriend will cover everything.

She also believes that she was old enough to nurture another child; “Kaya nga isa lang ang anak ko dahil ayoko mag alaga at matanda na rin ako para diyan” (That’s why I only have one child because I don’t like to take care, especially now I am too old for that) She was concerned that she would look after the baby because her daughter is still studying and definitely could not afford to get “yaya.”

In contrast with Mrs. A, she wanted her daughter to get married but since they are not yet at the right age, this did not happen. She also confessed that it was heartbreaking to see her daughter having her own family so soon. While Mrs. B continued sharing her stories and her sentiments, her eyes began to become watery

The attitude Mrs. B had, which pushed her to go on was her braveness to face the situation. Her positive outlook in life, being supportive, her love to her daughter, and a stronger mother-daughter relationship helped them to cope with the circumstances.

Same with Mrs. A, their perspective regarding criticisms was not far more important than anything else but surviving the trial.

Compared to the two respondents, Mrs. C was really angry to her daughter when she found it out; “Sobra kasi talaga ang trust ko sa kanya kaya hindi ko akalain na magiging ganyan siya” (I trusted her so much that I never imagined that she will get pregnant). Same with Mrs. B, she also monitors her daughter’s monthly menstrual period. When the time came that it was almost six months that her daughter was not having her period, she still did not had the doubt because of so much trust. Until the time her daughter was complaining of stomach annoyance, they learned that her teenage daughter is six months pregnant. Her initial reaction was anger, because she gave her full trust and this trust was not valued. She confessed that she was irritated every time she sees her daughter because of extremely disappointment and annoyance; “Hanggang sa nanganak siya, galit talaga yung naramdaman ko” (Until she gave birth, I was mad at her).

Mrs. C was also young when she got pregnant, and believes that their small age gap between her daughter have nothing to do with early pregnancy; “Kahit magka dugo pa kame, alam naman niya yung ginagawa niya” (Even though we are blood related, she knew what she’s doing).

The same with Mrs. B, she was also concerned with their financial aspect. She worries about the future of her daughter with the baby; if her daughter could pursue her studies and if she could handle the responsibilities of being a mother. Although she knows that her daughter is as brave as she is, but being a mother at an early age is a very difficult job.

During the interview, Mrs. C was obviously fighting over her feelings of sorrow. She seemed to be uncomfortable to discuss what she has gone thru and was not serious enough since she keeps on laughing. One way or another she still recalled her emotions throughout her daughter’s pregnancy.

“Parang problema lang na dapat bumangon” (It was just another problem that we need to get up and have strength) as what Mrs. C sees the situation.

It was not really a crisis, like what she said; “hindi naman ‘to yung parang binagsakan ka ng langit at lupa” (This is not like the end of the world). It was her hope that they will go through the problem and her support to her daughter that helped them in surviving.

In relation to Hill’s theory, in spite of Mrs. C’s being irritable to her daughter, she still managed to talk and supported her daughter in overcoming the instance. She knew it was just another problem in life that must conquer. These things helped her to overcome the trial and prevent it from becoming a family crisis.

Conclusions

In these cases, protective factors are important to buffer the family stressor that may lead to a family crisis. All the three respondents may have the feeling of disappointment and irritation but their hope and positive attitude made them strong to pass through the circumstance. They all believed that in spite of their daughters’mistakes, this is the time they are needed most. With those attitudes, teenage pregnancy became just a problem that should not be allowed to destroy the whole family.

Implication

Given the conclusion, the following implications are enumerated:

In view of the fact that the parents who have unconditional love for their child will still be the persons who would help and support her all the way. Admitting to their parents is the only solution in this situation, and not abortion. Teenagers must understand that it is normal for parents to have reactions of anger and frustration since they know that young teens are not yet fully matured for such responsibility. It will be very painful for them but later on they will learn to accept this circumstance. Nevertheless, these teens must tell their parents as soon as possible so that they will be given special medical attention.

Young teens should know that no matter how intense their mistake is, their parents will always forgive, understand, support and love them without end. The hope and positive attitude of the parents toward a suffering is a proof of their love to their child and to the whole family.

In spite of the parent’s sentiment, they must communicate with their daughter and to the whole family. Parents must talk to their teens so they will know that they will not go alone all through the pregnancy. Setting aside the parents’ emotional reactions and just focus on how they will support their daughter is necessary to get through this trial. They must help their daughters to become physically and emotionally strong. The daughters need consistent medical check ups to have a healthier pregnancy. Parents should also explain to their daughters that the different reactions of their relatives, friends and neighbors are not important and would not help their situation.

Parents must communicate with the whole family to solve the problem at once. They have to help the other family members to view the circumstance as a lesson for everybody. Parent – daughter relationship is far more essential during these days. The parents should talk to their daughters about their future and their future child’s. Both can make decisions if their daughters are ready to receive the sacrament of matrimony. They can also discuss the financial support they can give to the new baby, like clothing, milk, and medical check up. Parents should help their daughters to understand their new and big responsibilities as mother since they are not fully developed and their physically, emotionally and mentally immature from. Guidance of the parents is still necessary in nurturing the new baby.

Supporting teenage daughters can only be achieved if they work on their feelings of anger, disappointment, guilt and anxiety. Parents must consider the fact that this is the moment they are needed most by their daughters.

For the therapists and counselors, they must give strength to the parents in overcoming this condition by means of advice. They should help the parents in developing a positive attitude to view it as a trial and having the hope that they will come through all of it. Counselors may give advice or suggestions on how the parents will work on their emotional conflicts so they can fully support their child. They can also propose some ideas on how these parents can prepare their teens for bigger responsibilities. Counselors may also talk to other family members to apply techniques in understanding their present difficulty and help them prevent family crisis.

Since pregnancy among teenagers is becoming an epidemic, the schools may help in controlling this issue. Schools can run a program which aimed to attach the teenagers to their parents. There can be activities and seminars that tackle about the viewpoints of both parents and the teenagers regarding love and premarital sex. These school programs must help the students in dealing with whatever problems they may encounter without considering violence.

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