teen ink as a mentor text: inspiring students to revise

Teen Ink as a Mentor Text: Inspiring Students to Revise


By Lisa Bright

Damonte Ranch High School


Rationale

Most teachers will acknowledge that revision is one of the most difficult aspects of

teaching the writing process. Students, as a population, are not motivated to revise and edit their

writing. They will often change a sentence or two when threatened and/or tricked by the teacher,

but many times they don’t even read their own writing before hitting the print button and turning

the paper in. We know that proficient adult writers revise their work over the course of many

drafts. However the opposite is true for most American students.

In Best Practices in Writing Instruction, Charles A. MacArthur (2007) states that young

writers and especially struggling writers typically limit their revisions to minor wording and

grammar changes. Unless directed by the teacher regarding what to look for and how to fix it,

students often do not know what types of changes to make when editing or revising. This is

where mindful, direct instruction must come into play. The question is how do teachers make

this type of instruction meaningful for students?

Connections to Common Core Standards

There are quite a few writing standards that may apply when discussing writing and revising,

however, the following three standards seem to be the best for my purpose. It is certain that

additional standards can be added bases on type of writing and skill focus.

1. W.9-10.1: Use words, phrases, and clauses to link the major sections of the text, create

cohesion, and clarify the relationships between claim(s) and reasons, between reasons and

evidence, and between claim(s) and counterclaims.


2. W.9-10.5: Use appropriate and varied transitions to link the major sections of the text,

create cohesion, and clarify the relationships among complex ideas and concepts.

3. W.9-10.5: Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing,

rewriting, or trying a new approach, focusing on addressing what is most significant for a

specific purpose and audience.

Review of the Literature

Research over the past 10 years states that in order for students to become proficient at

writing, and revision they must first understand what the expectations and purpose of a writing

task are. Second, they must have specific criteria to look for in their own writing. Third, they

must know how to critically read and evaluate their own (and most likely a peer’s) writing and

fourth, must make appropriate changes and corrections (Graham, Schwartz & MacArthur, 1995).

Certainly, teaching students to evaluate their own writing using a specific set of criteria is time

well spent in the classroom (MacArthur, 2010). It is probable that some of these criteria will be

conventions and sentence fluency. It is also probable that many English and Language Arts

teachers have struggled to find the right method to teach the related skills, whether they pertain

to revising or editing. Many teachers have struggled to explain the difference between these two

skills.

Revising and Editing

Webster’s New World Dictionary defines the verb “edit” as the following: 1. to prepare

for publication 2. To revise and make ready. It defines” revise” as: 1. To read over carefully as a

manuscript, published book, etc. or, 2. To change or amend (1993). It is certain that these terms

are very similar. In his 2011 book Write Like This, Kelly Gallagher defines revising as “re-


seeing” or “making better”. He defines editing as “making correct” (p.222). I’ve never

differentiated between the two of these terminologies in much my own classroom, because often

student’s papers are correct, for the most part, but they often lack the sentence variation and

concise language necessary to make a student’s writing honest, interesting and/or original. In

other words, a student’s writing may need to be prepared, revised, changed, and amended many

times. Gallagher concedes that a paper may be correct, but may be edited (thus revised) and this

very well may change the author’s meaning or tone entirely (2011).

One of the most challenging obstacles regarding student writing improvement is the

integration and transfer of knowledge and skills. Acknowledging this, Kelly Gallagher cites

Judith Langer’s 2002 study of 25 schools and applies these findings to his classroom methods.

Langer’s research shows that the highest performing schools were able to transfer skills they

learned in one context and apply these skills to another area--their writing (Langer, 2002).

Inspired by this study, and Jeff Anderson’s Everyday Editing (2007), Gallagher has come

up with an excellent method he calls “sentence of the week” (SoW) to help with this transfer of

skills and knowledge. His lessons support Langer’s idea of designing a “purposeful activity”

that uses student’s knowledge and skills and applies them to another context (2002). Gallagher

fuses grammar instruction, sentence practice, and sentence imitation and then asks students to

apply these skills to their own writing. He also asks students to mark on their papers where

they’ve integrated a particular skill into their writing. (See figure A).

Gallagher’s method is exciting because it encourages students to play a role in their own

learning—in other words make meanings and connections. In addition, this strategy fits the

Understanding by Design (2005) model in that it begins with the essentials skills and ends in


assessment of mastery of these skills. Most importantly, Gallagher’s idea is an example of how

to create a meaningful and authentic activity that encourages students to evaluate their own

writing. The next step is to motivate students to move beyond the “one-and-done mentality”

when it comes to their writing (p.203).

Inquiry

How can teachers motivate students to thoroughly revise and edit their writing? My

premise is that a different type of mentor text --published teen writing--- can be used very

effectively as a resource. Students need to understand purpose or “why to write” before they buy

in (Gallagher, 2011, p.8). Furthermore, writing instruction in a genre-specific context helps

student writers understand expectations while examining what the author did well (MacArthur,

2007). Clearly, using mentor texts has been a best-practice for teachers for a few years now, but

what if some of the mentor texts weren’t “exemplar” texts? What if texts were written by

teenagers and not adult writers? In other words, what if the published writing by teens was good,

or even great writing, but still had a little room for improvement?

Elizabeth Friese, in School Library Journal (2010) recommends using internet resources

available to librarians and teachers and using these as real-world mentor texts (Friese, 2010).

However, there may be an additional untapped resource available for teachers. After seeing the

power of the online and print literary magazine for adolescents, Teen Ink, I wondered how I

could use this publication not only for publishing student’s work, but also as a mentor text and

practical revision tool. Of course, student writers are often exposed to a variety of mentor texts

which serve as examples of a particular genre of writing before becoming motivated themselves.

Perhaps I should try using relevant, real-world mentor texts to inspire my students to revise as

well?


In an article on the National Writing Project website, Senior editor Art Peterson discussed

the success of Teen Ink, which is becoming known as “The New Yorker for Teens,” (Peterson,

2011). Some interesting facts about Teen Ink are: It has been around for over two decades and

has published over 55,000 works by teens; it offers publication opportunities for writers and

artists across many genres; it is not uncommon for writers to receive over 400 comments on their

pieces; teens respond to each other’s writing and authors make corrections based on these

comments and, teachers are not involved in any part of this interaction (2011). However, high

school and college educators rave about the authentic nature of an online and print magazine

designed exclusively for teens (Peterson, 2011).

The possibilities of using Teen Ink as a classroom resource are many. Pondering these

possibilities and drawing a blank, I immediately subscribed to Teen Ink’s print magazine and

printed out the teacher guidelines for usage in the classroom. And, even after reading them, I

wondered where to begin. Yes, many of my students had been published in Teen Ink over the

past 5 years; many had been voted #1 in a student poll for a few weeks, and one student had even

been included in the quarterly print version of the magazine. In my classroom, audience and

purpose had been taken care of since I began requiring students to submit their work for

publication. Unfortunately, besides reading and responding, I was out of ideas. (It was May, and

my creativity had run out.) Thankfully, one teacher’s recommendations caught my eye. This

teacher uses the essays in the magazine for discussion about a writer’s style. Students discuss

what they notice about word choice and author’s tone. This teacher and many others had great

success using Teen Ink as a revision tool classroom. (See figure B). Therefore, I decided to try

something similar. My students had been working with phrases and clauses, but hadn’t had time

for much practical application. I wanted to see what would happen if students used skills from


previous instruction and practice and applied them to their own writing inspired by authors

published in Teen Ink. (See figures C & D).

I had students read the two articles on the general topic of Fear. (See Figure B).

Immediately, I had them do a quick, timed write responding to the article, analyzing their own

fears, other’s fears, or the concept of fear, etc. The next day, students took out all of their

resources on phrases and subordinate clauses and we looked at both Teen Ink both authors’

syntax and sentence structure (See Figures F-H). Next, students were given the task of changing

the author’s sentence beginnings by rephrasing--using 3 prepositional phrases, 3 participial

phrases, and 3 subordinate clauses. They were then asked to indicate where in the text they made

the changes and to rewrite the sentences on a separate sheet of paper. I then called on students

randomly to share one of each revised sentence. Mistakes were corrected and confusions were

cleared up and we moved on to integration of skills.

For this integration activity, students paired up to write a cheesy story. The requirements

were that each pair had to include specific sentence beginnings in their stories: six sentences had

to begin with the following: two prepositional phrases, two participial phrases, and two

subordinate clauses. I used this story to formatively assess students and I was generally pleased

with students’ grasp of these concepts.

I would have liked to have practiced more, but the end of the year had arrived and I

decided include revision on the student’s final exams. For final exam preparation, students were

told that they would be assessed on how well they revised their writing about fear. I also let them

create a post-it sized “cheat sheet” ( hoping they’d think to write down pertinent information


about phrases and clauses) and explained that they’d be doing sentence revisions that were

similar to what we’d practiced recently in class.

Data

Having never experienced a situation like this, students responded a few ways: Some left

their first drafts at home; some didn’t make a cheat sheet and therefore were unable to revise

appropriately; some ran out of time to revise and turned in their original draft; And thankfully for

me, some revised and turned in both pieces of writing at least partially completed. (See Figures

D--F.) This being said, I considered any revision a student completed and turned in a success.

Simply getting students to apply their knowledge of phrases and clauses and integrating it into

their writing a week after direct instruction, was a milestone for me as a teacher.

In one the student samples shown in figures E & F, a student starred where she’d add in

phrases and clauses as sentence beginnings and attached the revisions on the following pages. By

doing this, she re-examined and amended her essay. For example, instead of just summarizing

what the prompt said, this student used a participial phrase and said, “Reading this article, I

could relate very personally.” She also revised the sentence “Just the scare of being faced with

the chance that you might die really makes you appreciate life a million times more.” And

revised it to: “Feeling like you might die, can give you a new outlook on life.” Were both of

these changes for the better? Not necessarily, but this student was playing with her sentences, re-

arraigning, and rephrasing. Most importantly, this student was taking grammar instruction (that

prior to this time had existing only in a simulated setting) and integrated it into her writing.

In my next student sample, the student was able to revise and rewrite her entire essay

with the addition of the phrases and clauses assigned. She used sentences like “As many of you


may know, I’m LDS.” and “Dying or living doesn’t really worry me.” In addition, she got rid of

the cliché “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I was generally happy with these

revisions and that she too, seemed to put some genuine thought into what she was changing in

her essay.

Future Practice

I’m excited to try a more holistic approach in the future. Kelly Gallagher’s (2011)

sentence of the week (SoW) and integration of skills demonstrated in a writing portfolio is a

method I will be using immediately in my classroom. In the past, my students’ transfer of skills

from grammar instruction to their writing has been haphazard at best. Using the SoW idea will

help me organize and plan for this transfer instead of just hoping for it. The nature of the SoW

method encourages backward planning and this is something I’m continuing to work on in my

teaching practice.

Furthermore, using Teen Ink as a classroom resource will serve at least four (if not more)

purposes for learners in my classroom. First, it contains many high-interest, pieces across many

genres, that students may more willingly read than, say a newspaper. This type of exposure to

multiple genres of writing can only be beneficial to students. Second, it is an accessible mentor

text that is less intimidating than something written by an adult essayist; also, Teen Ink is filled

with authentic writing that is easy for students to imitate and build upon. And third, it is an

excellent textual resource for examining and discussing good writing-- which may then be used

as a springboard for many activities having to do with editing and revision.


SENTENCE OF THE WEEK CHECKLIST

1. Please place a check next to the skills that can be found in your portfolio.

2. Write the page number where that skill can be found in your portfolio.

3. Highlight and number each of the skills in your portfolio.

Check

Page#

Check

Page#

1. Identify a subject and a verb.

11.

2.

12.

3.

13.

4.

14.

5.

15.

6.

16.

7.

17.

8.

18.

9.

19.

10. 20.

Figure A: SoW--Created By Kelly Gallagher


Figure B: Teacher Guide


Figure C: Teen Ink Mentor Texts


Figure C: Student Revision


Figure D-E: Student Drafts


Figure F: Essay Draft


Figure G: Revised Essay


Figure H: Prepositional Phrase Resource


Figure I: Subordinating Conjunctions/Clause Resource

articipial phrases are formed from verbs using ed or ing. (Present and Past Participial).

These phrases are used as adjectives, nouns, or adverbs.

EXAMPLES:

Eating her ice cream cone, the little girl smiled contentedly.

Exhausted from lack of water, the hiker continued his climb up the canyon.

Figure J: Participial Phrase Resource

P


Resources

Anderson, J. (2005). Everyday Editing: Inviting Students to Develop Skill and Craft in Writer’s

Workshop. Portland, ME: Stenhouse.

______ Erin. (2012). Small Spaces. In Meyer. S. (Ed.). Teen Ink. Newton, MA: The Young

Author’s Foundation Incorporated.

Friese, E. (2010). A collection of mentors: how the library program can support writing

instruction. School Library Monthly, 26, 17-19.

Gallagher, K. (2011). Write Like This. Portland, MA: Stenhouse.

Graham, S., MacArthur, C.A., & Schwartz, S.S. (1995). The effects of goal setting and

procedural facilitation on the revising behavior and writing performance of students with

writing and learning problems. Journal of Educational Psychology, 87, 230-240.

Langer, J. (2002). Effective literacy instruction: building successful reading and writing

programs. Urbana,IL. National Council of English Teachers.

MacArthur, C.A. (2007). Best Practices in Teaching Revision and Evaluation. In Graham.S.

MacArthur, C.A. & Fitzgerald J. (Eds.), Best Practices in Writing Instruction (pp. 141-

161). New York: The Guilford Press.

Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language. (College Edition). (1992).

Cleveland and New York: The World Publishing Company.

Peterson, A. (October 3, 2011). Spotlight on Teen Ink: a magazine written by and for teens.

National Writing Project. Retrieved from

http://www.nwp.org/cs/public/print/resource/3119

Taylor, S. (2012) Falling. In Meyer, S. (Ed.). Teen Ink. Newton, MA: The Young Author’s

Foundation Incorporated.

Wiggins,G, & J. McTighe. (2005). Understanding by Design. Alexandria, VA: Association for

Supervision and Curriculum Development.

http://www.nwp.org/cs/public/print/resource/3119

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