Talking aboutautism with your

child

Choosing the right time

Your child may begin to show an awareness thatthey are different by asking questions. Your childmay benefit from a discussion about who they are,how they process information and what autismmeans for them. There is no magic age. Professionals suggest thatunder the age of 8 years children may not considerthemselves as different. Research supports sharing your child’s diagnosiswith them before they reach adolescence. However,if your child is an adolescent, it’s not too late tostart talking about autism with them.Understanding their diagnosis can empower yourchild to be more independent by explaining who they are and what they need.

Why do I have to go to speech therapy?How come I have trouble knowingwhat to say in conversations?Why can't I be first all the time?

Sharing the diagnosis of autism with your child can assist your child to understand whothey are and how their brain works. Professionals suggest that it is ideal for individuals on the autism spectrum to beinvolved in the assessment process and to understand what the diagnosis means forthem in an age appropriate way.

Why share a diagnosis of autism?

Remember - a differentconversational

approach will beneeded for each child,

as autism is aspectrum. You knowyour child and whatworks best for them.

"Having autism is good because I thinkdifferently to other people, so I can helpthem see from a different perspective."

How will I know that my child is ready ?

Edward - 13 yrs

"Explaining to him WHY hisbrain worked differently and

that he had a need to dosome things, like move his

legs, was invaluable."

Danielle - parent

Indicators may come in the form of questions such as:

Improved self-esteem as it helps your child tounderstand themselves and build a positivesense of self Better understanding of their strengths andthe things they find challenging Reduced feelings of isolation, when yourchild realises that others (including famouspeople) are on the spectrum too Less chance of your child finding out aboutautism by overhearing conversations orreading a report Less chance of your child worrying that thereis something 'wrong' with them and doing theirown research to find answers (often the wrongones!) Prepares your child to be an advocate for themselves – by developing confidence incommunicating about their strengths and areasof challenge Allows your child to connect with a support network

Advantages of talking with your child about autism

Talk about your child’s strengths Researchers support a strengths basedapproach to talking about autism.Explain to your child that their brain iswired differently from others. This isn’twrong or less than others, it’s justdifferent. You can use the free PositivePartnerships Planning Matrix to writeand draw your conversation, listing thewonderful abilities your child has, andhow they can use their strengths totackle things they find difficult.Emphasise that everyone is good atsome things and needs help with otherthings. Talk about the things you needhelp with too.

Make sure you are comfortable andconfident with the discussion. Rehearsewith your partner or a trusted friend.Children pick up on anxiety so the morerelaxed and comfortable you are, themore likely it will be a positiveconversation. Choose a time and place where yourchild is relaxed and confident. Use positive language appropriate totheir age and developmental stage. Nojargon, just everyday language.Keep the conversation positive andspecific to your child. Talk about yourchild’s passions and special abilities. Ifyour child asks about something theycan’t yet do, use language like “at themoment” they have difficulty, but youand your child’s teacher and therapistscan help them find a way to do it.Try to say 'difference' instead of'difficulties'.Help your child to see how they are thesame as others too.Give real life examples of people on thespectrum.

The Positive Partnerships Planning Matrix is a handy visual tool for identifying your child's

strengths and challenges, and can be helpful whensharing this information with your child, their

teachers and others.

To learn more about how to complete a Planning Matrix and to download a template visit

positivepartnerships.com.auYou will also find exclusive online content, fact sheets

and information about our upcoming workshops.

Other tips

Positive Partnerships acknowledges and thanks Lydia Meem BA(Psych)(Hons), MPsych(Clin), MAPS, CClinClinical Psychologist and Founder of Autism Understanding for hersupport in developing the content for this information sheet. For more information and resources you can visit:autismunderstanding.com.au positivepartnerships.com.au

The Positive Partnerships initiative is funded by the Australian Government Department of Education and Training through theHelping Children with Autism package and is delivered by Autism Spectrum Australia. The views expressed in this publicationdo not necessarily represent the views of the Australian Government or the Department of Education and Training.

"If Harriet knows Ihave autism she

would realise that I'mstressing out, and

might need her help."

School - It is important that a diagnosis of autism and associated reportsare shared with your child’s school. When sharing with the school, thefocus should be on your child's strengths and the strategies that bestsupport their learning. Siblings - When you are introducing autism to your child have a similarconversation with siblings. It’s helpful for siblings to understand that theirbrother's or sister’s brain processes sensations and information differently.Recognise that siblings have unique skills and challenges too. Family and Friends - You don’t have to use the term ‘autism’, just sharestrategies that make the environment autism friendly. For example: Whenthere is a lot of noise Joe’s ears hurt less when he has headphones on. Others - Whether it’s a soccer coach or a scout leader, sharing strategiesthat assist your child in that environment is the best thing for everyone. The sport coach should know that your child will follow instructions better in a one on one situation or that they may need support to line-up.

What do we tell others? Siblings?School? Classmates?

Remember you don’t have to haveall the answers. Focus on your child’s strengths, thethings they enjoy and are good at. Be relaxed and confident. Ask someone to help you have theconversation with your child. You don’t have to explain everythingabout autism. A series ofconversations can work better than asingle conversation. Answer your child’s questions andleave the door open for them to askmore.

"Your child is still who theywere before the diagnosis.Autism is just an extra way

of understanding them."

Edward 13 yrs

How can I prepare for the discussion?

Lydia Meem, Psychologist