syracuse woman magazine may 2016

May 2016 SYRACUSEWOMANMAG.COM 1

COVERElizabeth Nolan

2 SYRACUSEWOMANMAG.COM The Family Edition


Letter from the Editor .............................................................6Past SWM Events .....................................................................7Fashion Forward: Generation Alpha is the Future ..............8Platter Chatter: Tabatha’s Family Tree ...............................10WISE Women: Amy Wyant & Justina Kane ......................13...........................................................................Special Feature: Family Leave ...........................................16In Her Own Words: Multiple Moms Mingle ......................20Special Feature: Talk Early, Talk Often ...............................22Cover Story: Elizabeth Nolan .............................................25WISE Latina: Patricia Farfan-Caceres .................................32For a Good Cause: A Cause to Celebrate .......................34New in the ‘Cuse: International Language Center ..........36Busy Woman’s Guide: How to Revel in “Me Time” ........38SW Inspire: Nancy Linton ....................................................40SW Inspire: Sally Santangelo...............................................42SW Inspire: Barbara Huntress Tresness .............................44

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H ere’s the thing about Letters from the Editor: they’re the most difficult part of the magazine to write. When it comes to the amazing people

I interview and write about, I could go on for days (and sometimes do, you should see some of my first drafts). But reflecting on my own life and trying to convey those thoughts outward is sometimes trickier than you might imagine. Take this month, for instance. Our topic is family, so the ideal would be to write a compelling short article about mine. Well… easier said than done. Where to start? I’m one of those people who is oddly close

to both of her parents. They’re two of my best friends. My little brother is a hero of mine. My grandpa, one of the strongest people I know, had open heart surgery within the last month; the day after the operation, he was joking with the nurses about how hospital food has nothing on my grandma’s meatloaf. She’s one of the other strongest people on the planet. My aunts, uncles and cousins are the very best people to celebrate the holidays with, not to mention some of the most skilled pitch partners you’ll ever meet. My boyfriend is my No. 1 supporter and daily inspiration. My coworkers at my part-time job, Pastabilities, are the people with whom I spend most every Saturday afternoon and evening, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I could write about all these people – my family – for ages and ages. They always have my back. They can always make me smile. And they formed me. I wouldn’t be the person I am proud to be today if not for every single one of those amazing and inspiring people. It’s like this month’s cover woman, Hillside Children’s Center Central Region Executive Director Elizabeth Nolan, said: “Family is who you define it to be.” It’s the people around whom you are your most genuine and best self. In the cover story, Elizabeth talks about the continuum of services Hillside offers for children and families in Central New York, and addresses the organization’s need for more foster families. The first of this month’s Inspires introduces us to Nancy Linton, “glamma” of NCAA national champion Villanova’s Jalen Brunson. Nancy, the cornerstone of a large and close family, worked hard as a single mother to raise her five children. In our second Inspire, Barbara Huntress Tresness, recently published author and founder of CHAT Collective, shares the story of how her son Graham, who was diagnosed at birth with cerebral palsy, is teaching her and the world to communicate differently. CNY Fair Housing Executive Director Sally Santangelo, this month’s third Inspire, learned from her family’s struggles with poverty that safe and affordable housing should be a right and not a privilege, and fights for that justice every day. It was a treat to be welcomed into so many family memories and stories for this edition. Before I sign off, I’m going to circle back to my family for another thought or two. I might never quite master the ability to write about my life, but I hope that I did convey just how close my family is to my heart. They mean the world to me. This family edition is for you, my dears.

Lorna

On Our CoverHillside Children’s Center Central Region Executive Director Elizabeth Nolan was photographed by Chris Szulwach at Hillside Children’s Center in Syracuse.

PublisherDavid Tyler

EditorLorna Oppedisano

DesignAndrea Reeves

PhotographyCindy BellGerard H. Gaskin Nicole James PhotographyMary NicholsSteven J. PalloneAlice G. PattersonRick PolicastroKraig PrittsChris SzulwachJacqueline Vidler

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arianna AllenMichelle BrancaccioAnn CanastraKaren J. CordanoNicole GinsburgHayleigh GowansAlison GrimesSarah HallLorna OppedisanoLindsay Wickham

OUR TEAM

LETTER from the Editor

ADVERTISE WITH USUnlike any other publication in the Syracuse area, our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, home matters, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local Syracuse women. Ads are due on the 15th of the month prior to publication. The print magazines will be distributed locally in over 350 locations and will be in your inbox electronically by the middle of every month.The publication is available free of charge.

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PAST SWM Events

The sixth annual Breakfast at Tiffany’s Fashion Show and Brunch was hosted by the Sheraton Syracuse University Hotel and Conference on April 3. Proceeds benefitted Hope for Heather. Photos courtesy Rick Policastro Photography. April’s WBOC Wine Wednesday was hosted by the Genesee Grande Hotel on April 6. Event partners included WISE Women’s Business

Center Syracuse Woman Magazine. Photos courtesy Jacqueline Vidler, Enfoque Images. LoFo’s presented a cover girl party hosted at Chuck Hafner’s Garden Center on April 1. The event included local hors d’oeuvres and wine, and live music by Jess Novak.


FASHION FORWARD Generation Alpha is the Future

By Michelle Brancaccio and Arianna Allen

T he kids of tomorrow will be a more diverse, educated and tech-savvy group than any preceding generation. Their parents have been exposed to much more media themselves, and are open

to encouraging self-expression in their offspring. And one of the easiest ways to express yourself in your day-to-day life is through your sense of fashion. Children’s fashion should have fewer boundaries than that of adults. Let the kids wear what they choose. There are no rules.A girl can get away with wearing a boy’s shirt and a tutu. She may have a dress in her closet that she only wears for special occasions. Let her wear the dress to school with a denim jacket and a pair of Converse, or even a leather jacket and a pair of combat boots. And voilà! That dress you thought she would never wear again has become an “any day” item. The suit stashed away in the back of your son’s closet doesn’t need to be worn with an Oxford shirt and shiny dress shoes. Let him pair the fancy duds with his favorite T-shirt and sneakers, and rock it to school. As parents, we need to expand our horizons to some extent and allow our children to be playful with what they choose to wear. After all, you’re only that young once. Let their spirits fly free, and their minds and hearts will follow. Kids’ fashion is more than what’s-in-what’s-out, what-matches-what-doesn’t. It’s about a child’s growth into developing his or her own identity and fostering independence.

Generation Alpha is the Future

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Clothing is an introduction to someone’s character, a glimpse of who that person is. Outfits bring out a certain confidence. As adults, we all have that one specific outfit that we can rock above all others; it exudes our sense of self and we constantly look forward to donning it again. Children are the same way. Kids always have that favorite item to wear, whether it’s a hat, headband, dress or shoes… even if that piece doesn’t match anything else. When they feel good about something, they’re discovering what they like, and in turn learning a little bit more of who they are. Children’s fashion offers a variety of pieces for our kids. Today they can choose from gender-neutral clothing, throwbacks to when we were kids, bowties, basketball shorts, band T-shirts and even outfits to match mommy. Of course, every child is different and develops individual quirks to mirror their own styles. Remember, parents, children are the best part of you. So help your child express the best part of them. SWM

Michelle Brancaccio is a mother of two and owner of Armory Square children’s clothing shop, Indie Kids. For more information on her store, visit facebook.com/indiekidsyracuseny. Her family and her business bring her joy.

Photo features, from left to right, Stella and AMS Models Christian, Sebastian, Aida and Makayle.


TABATHA’S FAMILY TREE

PLATTER CHATTER Tabatha’s Family Tree

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My heart and soul believes that it really is a team effort.” — Co-owner Pat Personius

T ucked away on Cold Springs Road, just outside the village of Baldwinsville,

is a medium-sized, unassuming ranch-style building surround- ed by a small parking lot. Upon entering the maroon double doors, you’ll find two quaint dining rooms separated by a small greeting area and a wall adorned with award plaque after award plaque, acknowledging Tabatha’s Family Tree’s culinary presence in the area. Co-owner Tabatha Babbitt always knew she wanted to run her own restaurant. When she found out this spot was available, even though she’d never heard of Baldwinsville, she decided to check it out. “We came out and looked at it, and it seemed a nice size and nice fit,” said Tabatha’s mother and co-owner of the restaurant, Pat Personius. “We decided we could make it our own, and here we are 16 years later.” From server to hostess to cook, Tabatha’s resume consists of a variety of restaurants. The interaction with all types of people and challenges that differed from day to day drove her to love the industry. She’s had the dream of owning a restaurant for so long that

she honestly can’t remember what originally propelled her in that direction, other than the urge to have people wake up and eat in her restaurant, she said. Her mother Pat had worked in several fields before she joined the ranks of the culinary world. A few years before they found their own space, Tabatha was managing at Auburn Family Restaurant, and they were in need of a baker. Pat had a passion for dessert, so it was a perfect fit for her. When Tabatha found the space for Tabatha’s Family Tree, the women decided to co-own and run the Italian restaurant together. They kept the exist-ing menu of the previous establishment, and added a few of their own meals and culinary tricks. The duo stressed that every dish is homemade, right down to the sauces. The menu includes everything from appetizers to pasta dishes to chicken, veal and seafood. Every item on the dessert menu, except cannoli and ice cream, is homemade. If it’s your first time at Tabatha’s, try two customer favorites: the chicken parmesan, followed by the famous “Martha” four-layer

coconut cake for dessert. The restaurant also offers a catering menu for off-site events. Since the beginning, Tabatha’s Family Tree has always been a family affair. While the business started out mostly with family, they’ve branched out over the years to hire more staff. Pat’s mother also lends a hand on the week-ends to greet customers as they walk through the doors. “Unless SU’s playing, because we can’t interrupt the SU game,” Tabatha added with a laugh. Right now, Tabatha’s runs with the help of six full-time, cross-trained employees, most of whom have been part of the team since the restaurant was established. Both women stressed the fact that their business couldn’t function without their dedicated staff. “My heart and soul believes that it really is a team effort, all the way from the dish washers doing a great job and making things look great, to the cooks that cook the food and put it out and make it look amazing, to the way it’s described and presented and the customers are catered to,” Pat said. “I think of all of those things when I think of a restaurant.” SWM

All in the Family By Lorna Oppedisano

Tabatha’s Family Tree is located at 3160 Cold Springs Road, Baldwinsville. Hours are 4 to 8:30 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday; 4 to 9 p.m. Friday and Saturday. For more information, visit tabathasfamilytree.com or call 638-0315.


[email protected] gmail.com

315.481.6524

Like what you see?You know what to do.ANDREA REEVES DESIGN



WISE WOMAN Amy Wyant & Justina Kane


SPECIAL FEATURE A New State Stance on Paid Family Leave

When Nicole Gibson’s mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor, there was no question in her mind that she and her two brothers would make whatever sacrifice necessary to

take care of her. “If I have to put my life on hold to take care of the woman who took care of me for all of my 30-some years, that’s okay,” Nicole said. “We’re a very close-knit family, and it was not an option to put her in a home. It was a family decision we all made together.” However, those sacrifices ended up being pretty substantial. At first, Nicole’s mother was able to move in with her brother, whose job was flexible enough that he was able to be home with her during the day. When he had to change jobs, Nicole volunteered to take over. As her mother’s illness stretched on, she used up all of her sick time and paid time off. She applied for FMLA leave and took 12 weeks of unpaid time off. Ultimately, she had to leave her job. “We made the decision that it was best for my family for me to leave my job,” Nicole said. “There were only two circumstances under which I was coming back to work: if some miracle happened and my mom got better, or she would see her last days and we would lay her to rest. And that’s what happened. I ended up being out of work for six months.”

A New State Stance on Paid Family LeaveBy Sarah Hall

Nicole, a single mother to an 8-year-old son, had to give up her apartment and move in with her mother. She relied on family members to help pay her bills. While she has no regrets — “Making the choice to walk away from my job, to do what was best for my mom, was not hard. This is my mother,” she said. “She passed away in her home, and that’s what she wanted”— the situation certainly presented a financial hardship. “I’m a single parent. I have an 8-year-old to take care of,” she explained. “At the end of the day, I didn’t know I’d have a job to go back to. We’re very fortunate that we have a lot of support from our family.” In the end, because she worked for a caring company that was able and willing to hold her job for her, Nicole returned to work at ACR Health after her mother’s passing. But millions of others statewide have not been nearly as lucky. The lack of a cohesive paid family leave policy has meant that many people – those taking care of ailing parents or sick children, or facing illness themselves, as well as those with a deployed spouse or parents expecting or adopting a baby – have had to either leave their jobs or work through family crises to avoid missed pay. But that’s all about to change. New York passed its paid family leave policy as part of the 2016-17 budget; the state has been trying to enact such a policy since 2009. The proposal had the


overwhelming support of New Yorkers; according to a poll released by the Siena Research Institute Feb. 1, 80 percent of New York voters supported paid family leave, while 18 percent were opposed and 2 percent were undecided.

New York’s policy New York’s bill will provide workers with up to 12 weeks of leave in order to bond with a new child, including adopted and foster children; care for a seriously ill child, parent, parent-in-law, spouse, domestic partner, grandchild or grandparent; or address certain military family needs. The policy applies to both men and women. It will be phased in gradually; in 2018, workers will be eligible for up to eight weeks of leave; up to 10 in 2019 and 2020; and up to 12 in 2021 and thereafter. The program applies to all businesses, no matter the size, and includes job protection. Both full- and part-time employees are eligible after working for a company for six months. The program will be funded through a small employee payroll deduction, roughly a dollar a week. In 2018, a worker will receive 50 percent of his or her average weekly wages, up to a cap equal to 50 percent of the statewide average weekly wage, which was $1,266.44 in 2014. The payout will increase during the next three years to 67 percent of the worker’s average weekly wages, up to a cap of 67 percent of the statewide average weekly wage. New York is the fourth state in the nation to enact a paid family leave policy, though other states’ programs aren’t nearly as extensive. California, New Jersey and Rhode Island all offer either four or six weeks of paid leave. Washington approved a paid leave policy in 2007, but it has not yet put it into practice. In addition, similar legislation has been introduced at the federal level. New York Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand introduced the Family and Medical Insurance Leave Act in March 2015, which includes the same provisions as New York’s newly-adopted law. New York’s legislation is the most extensive in the nation, something of which its proponents are quite proud. “Twelve weeks of job-protected paid family leave is a tremendous victory for New York families that will no longer have to choose between paying the bills and caring for a loved one or being there for a new child,” said Eric Williams, director of the New York Paid Family Leave Insurance Campaign. “This policy leads the nation and contains the key components we’ve felt are critical to a paid family leave policy that works for New York workers and the state’s small businesses.”

Mixed reaction from businesses However, not all New Yorkers are on board with the program. In particular, business groups are concerned about the potential impact on their bottom line. “We have several reasons for our opposition to these proposals, not the least of which is that we don’t believe it will be strictly employee-funded,” said Zach Hutchins of the Business Council of New York State, the state’s largest business advocacy group. He pointed to the administrative costs of covering leave. “This is a cost that will be borne by businesses. It’s actually right in the governor’s proposal. We have no idea what those will be.”

People are making sacrifices for their loved ones, but they still have another life to worry about. It’s great to have a little bit of a cushion and security.” — Nicole Gibson

Zach also noted that many New York businesses may already be providing their employees with substantial paid leave time. “They might not call it paid family leave; maybe they call it sick leave or personal leave. Some offer extended maternity leave or paternity leave,” he said. “They’re doing this because they believe it’s what is necessary to keep their employees happy and to compete for employees in this competitive environment. They’re doing it because they believe it’s the right thing to do.” While the Business Council has some 2,400 members, it certainly doesn’t speak for all New York businesses. Both the Small Business Majority, an advocacy group for small businesses, and the New York State Sustainable Business Council have spoken in favor of the legislation. “By implementing a statewide paid leave insurance program, New York is making paid leave a universal practice, which will help level the playing field for small businesses that want to offer this benefit to their employees,” said Eric Rettig, outreach manager for the Small Business Majority. “The state’s legislative leaders have made a smart move for New York’s small businesses by passing this legislation.”

Laura Ornstein, coordinator of the New York State Sustainable Business Council, issued a state-ment echoing those sentiments. “By passing a paid family leave program, our state leaders have made NYS a more attractive place to do business,” Laura said. “Business owners understand

that treating employees well is good for the financial bottom line. Paid family leave will cut costs by reducing turnover and boosting job loyalty and productivity, since employees will no longer be forced to choose between losing pay or quitting their job to care for a sick family member or showing up to work distracted by their worry for a loved one.” Research has certainly suggested that paid leave is good for business. A paper by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that “flexible workplace initiatives [including a paid leave policy] have resulted in greater worker productivity and reduced turnover.” In 2012, Forbes Magazine advised businesses to embrace paid family leave as a good business practice: “The truth is that we are all potential caregivers. We may not end up having children, but all of us have parents and aging relatives who will very likely at some point require care,” contributor Cali Williams Yost wrote. “I think every card-carrying, profit-oriented capitalist should support paid family leave policy.” Nicole is certainly a supporter of the policy, although it comes too late to help her. “I’m glad people are starting to recognize that there are a lot of people working day-to-day who are providing 24-hour care for a loved one,” she said. “People are making sacrifices for their loved ones, but they still have another life to worry about. It’s great to have a little bit of a cushion and security.” SWM


IN HER OWN WORDS Multiple Moms Mingle

Multiple Moms MingleBy Ann Canastra and Nicole Ginsburg

Our cowriters Ann and Nicole are members of Multiple Moms Mingle, a club for moms of twins, triplets and more.

In the beginningA: Shock. The moment we found out we were having multiples, we were in shock. It was a funny moment where time stood still. I had no pants on, was sitting on the table, and I couldn’t get a word out. The doctor hugged me awkwardly and said, “Isn’t this a blessing?” I shook my head and said, “Of course!” On the way home, we talked about calling our church’s prayer committee and asking them to “Not pray so hard.” Not that we weren’t grateful, but because we wanted one more healthy baby, and got blessed with multiples. We smiled as we talked about things like, “Will three car seats even fit in the back of a Jetta?”N: January 2012: “Do you see those two dots?” “…Yes” “Congratulations, you’re having twins!” Tears of joy, fear and excitement rolled down my face. I turned to my husband, who was beaming with the largest, most nervous smile I had ever seen. TWINS! We’d been waiting years for this moment, and then we ended up with the best deal of a lifetime. From that moment on, my husband and I joined forces, grabbed hands and leapt into this crazy thing called parenting... times TWO! Getting supportA: I joined the local Multiple Moms Mingle club when I was 20 weeks into my pregnancy. I got advice, found friends and made life-long bonds with women who “get it.” These mommies understand crying over spilled milk and fielding questions like, “Are your twins real?” We have all sorts of creative responses to questions about IVF, and if our anatomy is really of concern to anyone else.

The support of finding moms who understand the multiple blessing is unlike any other circle I roll in. I am connected through Multiple Mom’s Mingle to mommies who are doctors, lawyers, SAHMs, teachers, bloggers, therapists, scientists, nurses, entre-preneurs... the list goes on and on.

Myths and factsA: I’d like to set the record straight for a moment to mothers who tell me their kids are “like twins because they are so close.” No, no. They aren’t twins. They aren’t twins until you’ve had two babies exit your body at once. And if you are taking the racecar shopping cart at Wegmans, you need to have at least two children in that cart. I’ve actually shed tears in the parking lot over a woman who took the cart “for fun,” but didn’t have kids. Breastfeeding is possible with multiples. It was hard for me, and I made it almost six months. I don’t feel like a failure for supplementing formula; I feel like a momma who rocked it and fed her kids the best way she could. I never bought into the guilt game and shaming. My thinking is that you are a mom, you know your body, and you know what’s best.N: The most surprising element of having twins is the questions we are asked by complete strangers. Yes, they do run in my family. They run all over the place and often in different directions. Yes, my husband and I have drifted apart; a full arm’s length that is filled with cuddle monsters in our bed on a Sunday morning, wiggle worms on the couch and the best group hugs in the world! Nope, I don’t sleep… ever. That’s because I am trying to conquer the entrepreneurial world while my boys sleep. Yes, my husband and I both work full time. Yes, they are twins even though they look nothing alike. Yes, I am sure!

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Yes, my hands are quite full…would you mind holding that door for us?! DaycareA: The first year of my twins’ life, we paid more than $24,000 in daycare costs. We had three kids in daycare. Awesome daycare. The kind of daycare that you trust with your most prized possessions. The kind that is life-changing and would do anything for your kids. This drew criticism from people who offered comments like: “Why are you working if one whole paycheck is going there?” or “Why would you want someone else raising your children?” I answer by saying that in our case, I’m a better mother because I go to work. My twins plus one see a strong woman and supportive husband who both work, and we teach them that they can all equally achieve their best. Buying into stereotypical roles is a personal family choice, and one that our home doesn’t subscribe to. OH! One more thing about daycare: you get what you pay for. Even my teenage babysitters are role models and I’ll be so proud when my children grow to be like them.AdviceA: My advice to women hoping to have multiples, pregnant with multiples, and/or already have multiples is simple: you can do this. One diaper turns into two. Daycare money never ends; it just turns into karate, gymnastics, dance, camps, and the list goes on. Seek out friends who have been down this road. When you’re debating if they should be in the same classroom, ask a friend who’s made that choice.

Don’t allow anyone to judge you for the choices you make for your family. You know best. You and your partner are parents to these beautiful babies, and can grow them however you choose. Will you struggle? Yes. But it’s okay, and you never have to struggle alone.N: My best advice for any mom expecting twins: first, join Multiple Moms Mingle. The support is priceless! Second: remember to laugh. If not at the exact moment you are literally covered in unmentionables, then at your next MMM meeting! Going forwardA: Having twins was the biggest and best unexpected blessing in my entire life. My children are my proudest moment, and remind me each day just how great life is. It’s fun and joyful. It’s John Cena, Princess Elsa and Batman in the back seat on the way to a birthday party. I have yet to come across anything more rewarding than having these twins plus one.N: Our life is crazy. Our life is chaotic. Our life is stressful. But above all, our life is amazing because of our twins, and we wouldn’t have it any other way! The last three plus years have been a journey; some days, we’re sporting superhero capes, other days firefighter helmets (and not just during dress up time). We are incredibly blessed with amazing little men who bring joy to so many. To learn more about Multiple Moms Mingle, visit multiplemomsmingle.com. Along with being moms and full-time professionals, Ann and Nicole each recently started their own business. For more information on Ann’s new tech start up, the mobile photo app Happy Snap, visit happysnap.pics. For more information on Nicole’s fully-emersive, team-building escape room, Escape the Estate, visit escapetheestate.com.


T he need to provide meaningful education on the dangers of underage drinking and other drug use has never been greater. It is important to know that parents can play a significant role.

As kids get older and alcohol and other drugs enter the picture, parents are faced with a unique set of challenges. They can simply sit back and hope their kids will “get through it,” or they can take an active role in learning about alcohol/other drugs and helping their kids do the same. It can be daunting to talk with your children about drinking and drug use, but well worth the effort. In fact, research has shown that kids who have conversations with their parents to learn about the dangers of alcohol and other drug use are 50 percent less likely to use these substances than those who don’t have such conversations. As a parent, you can be a primary source of positive and reliable information. It is important to take advantage of “teachable moments.” It’s not so much about “the big talk,” but about being there for them when the issues come up -- on TV, at the movies, on the radio, about celebrities or sports figures, or about their friends. Don’t miss an opportunity to teach your kids. If you don’t, they will get their information from the media, the internet or other sources that not only misrepresent the potential negative impact of alcohol and other drugs, but may glorify their use. You have more influence over your kids’ attitudes and decisions about substance use than you think. So start early! Children go through many different stages as they grow up and what’s appropriate to tell an 18-year-old and a 9-year- old can vary quite a bit. Yet, it’s never too early to begin the conver-sation. The more informed children are, the better off they’ll be. The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence provides some basic guidelines to assist you: Listen before you talk: Encourage Conversation: As parents, we want to have “all the answers.” Sometimes we are so anxious to share our wisdom – or our opinion – that we don’t take the time

to listen. For kids, knowing that we are really listening is the most important thing we can do to help. Talk to your child and ask open ended questions: Talk to your child regularly about their feelings, their friends and their activities. As much as you can, and sometimes it’s not easy, try to avoid questions that have a simple “yes” or “no” answer. Be involved: Get to know your child’s friends and continue to educate your child about the importance of maintaining good health – psychological, emotional and physical. Set expectations, limits and consequences: Make it clear that you do not want your child drinking or using drugs and that you trust them not to. Talk about possible consequences, both legal and medical, and be clear about what you will do if the rules are broken. Be honest and open: Care about what your child is going through as they face and make decisions that will affect their lives now and for the future. Be positive: Many parents have discovered that talking about these issues with their children has built bridges rather than walls between them, and have proudly watched those children learn to make healthy, mature decisions on their own. Explore family history: Both research and personal experience have clearly documented that addiction is a chronic, progressive disease that can be linked to family history and genetics. So, if you have a family history of problems with alcohol or other drugs, be matter of fact about it, as you would any other chronic disease, such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer. The longer children delay drinking and other drug use, the less likely they are to develop any problems associated with it. That’s why it is so important to help your child make smart decisions. For more information about NCADD Alcohol Awareness Month, visit ncadd.org or contact Prevention Network at 471-1359 or online at PreventionNetworkCNY.org.

LISTEN BEFORE YOUTALK; Talk to Your Child and Ask Open Ended Questions

SPECIAL FEATURE Listen before you talk; Talk to Your Child and Ask Open Ended Questions


COVER STORY Elizabeth Nolan

How am I going to make the world a better place today?” —Elizabeth Nolan


ELIZABETHNOLANExecutive DirectorHillside Children’sCenter Central Region

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COVER STORY Elizabeth Nolan

continued on page 28

Defining Family By Lorna Oppedisano

T hink about what family meant to you growing up. Besides the typical nuclear and extended family, maybe you had a mentor. A close neighbor. A teacher who made a connection and an

impact. A family friend. Now imagine you hadn’t had any of those people – not a single branch of that support system – and at age 18, you were released into the world and expected to be a decently-functioning adult. Tough, right? Elizabeth Nolan, executive director at the Hillside Children’s Center Central Region, sees situations like this often in her work. “If I had to pick a population and say what makes my heart hurt the most and makes me want to do the most, it’s kids who have been through our systems – not-for-profit agencies, government, foster care – and very often don’t have good outcomes,” she said. Elizabeth’s mission is to fix that.

Social Syracuse roots Elizabeth knew she wanted to be a social worker from the moment in college when she realized it was a professional career choice. Growing up on Long Island, there was no singular event that propelled her toward social work. Rather, her parents simply taught her and her siblings to care about people who have less. “It was a justice orientation,” she explained, “that everybody deserves to live a life of dignity, that everybody deserves the right to health care and education, and a chance to follow their dreams.” After discovering social work in college, Elizabeth eventually decided that she didn’t want to pursue her career in New York City. For one thing, she’d just had a child with her husband; the city seemed like too big a place to raise a baby. She also wanted to directly affect change in her community. So off the family went to Syracuse. Soon after settling in, Elizabeth got involved with St. Lucy’s Church and the Near Westside community. Since then, she’s served on the Near Westside Initiative’s board of directors and as a church trustee. In the past 26 years, she’s seen violence and poverty increase in the neighborhoods of the Near Westside, but has also seen organizations and institutions like the initiative and church work to improve the area. “The thing I love about the Near Westside Initiative and St. Lucy’s is that it’s a community working to make itself better,” she explained, adding that the area has an “inclusive, ground-up kind of effort. I love that, being part of a place that’s trying to make itself better for all its people.”

Finding her niche When Elizabeth entered the field of social work, she wanted to make an impact on a community level. She began doing hands-on work with domestic violence cases in Albany, but was soon chosen for a broader level of responsibility. “I wanted to not just work with individuals impacting domestic violence, but impact the laws and the culture that contribute to and support domestic violence,” she said. In her administrative positions since then, she still works as a social worker, she explained, adding that all Hillside staff – licensed social workers or not – still do “small-s small-w social work.” Elizabeth’s passion for working with teenage youth was sparked when she joined the Salvation Army. As director of residential services, she oversaw seven shelters and transitional housing locations, some of which were devoted to helping the youth population. During her time there, one of the things that affected her most was the lack of the concept of “home” for the children with whom she worked. Elizabeth had grown up with a mother, father, two sisters and a brother; these children had nothing. She described them as “disconnected kids,” explaining that their trajectory is terrible, often landing them on the street, chemically-addicted or in jail.

She eventually left the Salvation Army to take the position of chief operating officer at Liberty Resources, where she gained experience working to help adults with developmental disabilities. After about 14 years with Liberty Resources, she was recommended to apply for the job of central region services leader at Hillside Family of Agencies in October 2008. Her responsi-bilities changed slightly in 2012, when her title was shifted to her current position. With her dedication to the area and passion for helping disconnected and troubled youth, it was the perfect fit.

“I get to bring the benefit of Hillside to Syracuse and Central New York, have an impact on my community and help Hillside to run through this community,” she said. “So it’s a great partnership.”

The Hillside continuum The history of Hillside Family of Agencies dates back to 1837. What started as the Rochester Orphan Asylum in Rochester now extends through the state and Prince George’s County, Md. Elizabeth oversees the Central New York region’s Hillside Children’s Center. While the organization doesn’t have an age cap dictating which populations it serves – meaning its services can be extended to adults – its major focus is on children and families.

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How do I spread more love today?”—Elizabeth Nolan

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Elizabeth explained the range of services as a continuum, all aimed at getting children back to their families. “It sounds obvious that every child thrives in a family and should be in a family, but it hasn’t been obvious to our system for years,” she said. “Kids grew up in institutions, in residential placements.” The continuum of care starts with the belief that every family is doing the best they can. Hillside meets the family where they are, Elizabeth said. They assess the situation, look at the strengths and then offer services to get the family where they want to go. The next level is therapeutic foster care, for those families that, for whatever reason, are not able to care for their child. “The really cool thing is that our foster families partner with the birth families to help the birth families know how to care for their child,” Elizabeth explained. Again, the end goal is to reunite child and family. The foster families are trained to work with the birth families in areas like coaching and other supportive services. Hillside is always looking for new foster families, Elizabeth stressed, explaining that when they lose foster families, it’s often because the parents choose to adopt the child. There are hundreds of children in Onondaga County in need of foster care for one reason or another, Therapeutic Foster Care Program Manager Jeremy Webster explained. “It’s not something that a lot of people want to do, to open their homes and bring in kids who may have behavioral and mental health issues,” he said. But it’s rewarding, he added, because foster parents get to bear witness to children regaining their youth and hope. Along with full-time foster care parents, Hillside also has youth mentoring and respite foster care programs, the latter of which allows foster parents to care for children for a shorter period of time. The last level of the continuum is residential services, which includes a 16-bed program for traumatized, high-risk girls, as well as a 40-bed facility, regulated by the Office of Mental Health, that aims to help children with psychiatric illness. Both are located in Auburn and serve the Central New York region. Similar to other programs, the goal is to help children build hope and return to their families. Realistically speaking, that’s not always an option. The next step is Family Finding, a focused effort to find and engage a network of support for the child. In every situation along the continuum, the first priority is safety, followed by permanency and then well-being.

from page 26Defining Family continuedCOVER STORY Elizabeth Nolan

“It’s a huge priority that every kid needs to know that there is at least one adult, preferably more,” Elizabeth said. “If I only had one person, they would get really tired of me. You have to have a few people.” The children and families that Hillside aims to help come to the agency through government doors, Elizabeth explained, adding that she’s happy to help anyone in need find their way to whichever door best serves them. She stressed that even though children come to Hillside with different problems, “they’re all the same kids and the same families.” Maybe someone came through the “mental health entrance,”

and the possible issue of poverty isn’t taken into account. There’s many elements to every individual’s story: “If you tried to help them learn in school, and they didn’t eat breakfast, or they’re worried about what’s going to happen when they go home,” she listed. “You have to deal with the whole person and the whole community.” The idea of a community effort is one reason Elizabeth loves working in Syracuse, especially when it comes to combating issues like generational or situational poverty. The human service sector, in particular, is highly collaborative, she explained. As chair of the Human Service Leadership Coalition, a member organization of local human service agency executive directors, she sees the groups all striving toward one end goal. “We are just all about working together to solve the community’s problems and impact the community in a positive way,” she said. Along with aiming to be part of the solution for Syracuse’s poverty problem, Hillside also combats the stigma of mental illness, Elizabeth said. “Mental illness – emotional and behavioral health challenges – crosses all class and income,” she explained. “I think people don’t realize. They might think, ‘Oh, Hillside deals with those people.’”

In some cases, poverty might exacerbate the situation, but there’s a percentage of children across the board who exhibit early signs of emotional and behavioral challenges, she said. Elizabeth cited a parent of a child that Hillside has aided: that parent shared that if their child had cancer or childhood diabetes, people would assume the illness had physical roots. Mental health problems are physiological too, Elizabeth explained, and, at times, deliberately brushed aside or ignored. “A lot of the work that we do with other agencies is to try to impact that stigma that somebody caused it, the family’s to blame or it’s a bad kid,” she said.


How am I going to be my best self today?”—Elizabeth Nolan

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After recent changes in health care, Hillside has started working more actively with hospitals, health providers and behavioral health providers. As Hillside’s expertise leans toward the behavioral health end of the spectrum, it’s important to look for ways to partner with physical health providers, Elizabeth explained. “People are realizing more and more that they have to focus on physical health and behavioral health,” Elizabeth said. “We’re the whole person.”

Elizabeth, the whole person To take care of her whole self, Elizabeth begins each day with meditation, asking herself: “How am I going to be my best self today? How am I going to make the world a better place today? How do I spread love more today?”

While she has been involved with St. Lucy’s Church for decades, Elizabeth says she considers herself a spiritual person more than a religious person. Some sort of spiritual grounding is good for mental health, she explained, adding that there’s “a spirit of love that unites us all.” Along with her spirituality, Elizabeth’s family is crucially important to her; and that extends beyond her immediate family to her friends as well. Her definition of family is the group of people around whom she feels most welcome and can completely be herself. “What we say all the time here [at Hillside] – and I really believe it – is that family is who you define it to be,” Elizabeth said, adding that “family” doesn’t necessarily have to be biological. “It’s whoever feels like family to you; who’s going to be with you for the long haul, no matter what happens.” SWM

Thinking About Becoming a Foster Parent?Hundreds of local youth and families need your help as they work through challenging times in their lives. Hillside foster parents provide a living environment for youth from birth to age 21, and help them learn important life skills. Both full-time and part-time foster parenting options are available.

What Hillside looks for in new foster parents:• Diverse individuals who are loving, caring and patient, and who provide a structured and safe environment.• Individuals who are willing to dedicate themselves to the healing and development of youth, based on their individual needs.• Individuals who understand or are willing to understand the effects of trauma on children’s development, and are willing to be mindful and helpful as the youth overcome their struggles.• Individuals who are willing to work as part of a treatment team to meet the needs of the youth.Text provided by Hillside Children’s Center Therapeutic Foster Care.


WISE LATINA Patricia Farfan-Caceres

By Alison Grimes

P atricia “Patty” Farfan-Caceres, the oldest of four siblings in Peru, was proudly named godmother to four of her nieces and nephews. Little did she realize, she would soon be on a

journey to a new life in the United States. Patty, a woman who had always been career- and community-focused, arrived in Syracuse with her husband Jorge in 2002. She soon became close to her sisters-in-law, each of whom was actively involved in their communities and family; Patty was ready for the same lifestyle. She was eager to brush up on her English, move forward with her career and build a family. Patty became involved with the West Side Learning Center, which places students in intern-ships. She was placed in the business office of Onondaga County Public Library’s personnel department. She learned employee payroll formalities and office procedures that were different than her previous 10 years of work experience in Peru. So she enrolled in an office technology course at Onondaga Community College while interning. She also reinstated a Spanish Conver-sation Club between Syracuse City School District Spanish teachers and West Side Learning Center students. Students and teachers had the opportunity to share conversation, culture and experiences while improving and practicing their language skills. By early 2004, Patty was expecting her first child and was ready to work. During her pregnancy, Patty worked part time at the library. She joined the Syracuse Cooperative Federal Credit Union and was asked to volunteer as a member of the board of directors. She continued at the library, while also serving on the board, until she noticed a job opening at the credit union. She applied, and remembers her interview day: “My husband and I only had one car at the time. My young daughter was in

The Wealth of Familythe car with my husband while I was in my interview.” Patty was asked on that Friday when she could begin working. “I can work as early as Monday, but I’d like to resign from the board of directors,” Patty remembered with a chuckle. Shortly after, she was offered the opportunity to work part time in billing and as a teller. After a year, she was promoted to senior teller, and then supervisor. In 2008, her supervisors approached her with plans to open a new branch; they wanted her to supervise the ATM, registers,

billings and loans. Patty even eventually pioneered a new Visa credit offering. No matter how much of Patty’s time her job demanded, she and her husband always put family first. “I feel blessed with the husband who accompanies me, and my two precious daughters Ysabella and Alejandra,” she said. Patty eventually transitioned out of the credit union, and took a job with BNY Mellon-Latin America Group. “My position at BNY Mellon-Latin America Group is giving me the possibility to apply my experience delivering excellent service to our customers and share my culture with my colleagues,” she explained, adding that achieving a good

work-life balance is now more plausible. Today, Patty is proud to have been awarded “Woman of the Year” by the Nosotros Radio, and more proud to put family first. Though her children attend Most Holy Rosary School, education begins at home. She and her husband teach their girls love, respect, responsibility and an appreciation for their close family. Overall, Patty “thanks God for the gift of her family,” she said. SWM

This article was provided by the CNY Latino newspaper, the only Hispanic-oriented publication in Central New York. The Spanish version of this article can be read in the May edition of CNY Latino, in both the traditional paper version and the digital format at cnylatinonewspaper.com.


FOR A GOOD CAUSE A Cause to Celebrate

L ike a lot of us, Cheryl Heller gets her best inspiration at odd moments. Her idea for last year’s inaugural A Cause to Celebrate was no different.

“The committee always laughs at me, because they refer to it as ‘my shower moments,’” she explained with a chuckle. “It seems like I’m always taking my shower in the morning, and then all of the sudden – ‘DING!’ – the light goes off.” That’s when Cheryl’s idea for a Baldwinsville fundraising effort grew from the bare bones details of a single-evening event into a full-blown, two-day extravaganza; the Friday evening fashion show was about businesses giving back to the community, and Saturday offered those guests a chance to experience village shops and businesses. Last year’s fundraising efforts raised $2,500 for the Baldwinsville Theatre Guild, $1,500 more than the committee’s goal. The Downton Abbey-themed evening had sold-out attendance. Even though committee members had the challenge of getting the word out quickly after the committee formed in mid-February, Cheryl was pleased to see the village come together. “It was a shot of adrenalin into the community for the spring,” she said. This year’s event is slated for Friday, May 13 at CNY Family Sports Centre, and Saturday, May 14 in the village of Baldwinsville. Proceeds from the event are planned to benefit the Silver Knights Foundation, an organization dedicated to area youth and headquartered at the sports centre. When picking a nonprofit organization for this year’s event to benefit – the beneficiary is set to change each year – the committee wanted a group that aimed to help youth. As 40 percent of the revenue raised by the foundation directly aids the Baldwinsville

There’s just such a diverse group of businesses here. It surprises me when people still say, ‘Oh, I didn’t know Baldwinsville had that!’ or ‘Oh, I never even thought of coming to Baldwinsville for a day.’” — Cheryl Heller

community, this seemed like a great fit, Cheryl said. Some of the money raised at this year’s event is slated to fund a Baldwinsville youth-specific summer clinic coached by a Baldwinsville-native Silver Knights player. “Their motto is changing children’s lives one goal at a time, and it just gives the child the opportunity to discover some of their potential or their gifts,” Cheryl explained. For this year’s event, “A Knight on the Riviera,” the committee is planning a “French Riviera-themed, James Bond, Rat Pack kind of feel,” Cheryl said. The event is slated to include a martini bar, gaming, fashion show and a complimentary tasting bar. The Saturday portion of the event – the “Spring Shop & Stroll” –

is planned to feature guided walking tours of the shops, as well as a luncheon at a local restaurant. The end goal for A Cause to Celebrate is two-fold: to give businesses a chance to give back to their community, and to acquaint people from Baldwinsville and the greater Syracuse area with the possibilities the village has to offer. “There’s just such a diverse group of businesses here,” Cheryl said. “It surprises me when people still say, ‘Oh, I didn’t know Baldwinsville had that!’ or ‘Oh, I never even thought of coming to Baldwinsville for a day.’” SWM

A Cause to Celebrate committee members:Event chair: Cheryl Heller, owner of The Savvy Chick BoutiqueFinance chair: Terri Webb, co-owner of Two Twisted Sisters and Olive’s EateryFashion show chair: Stephanie Long, owner of Mirror Mirror Inc. Design Chair: Heather Jensen, manager at Mirror Mirror Inc.Diane Richardson, owner of Beyond the Attic DoorKera Wassenbach, owner of Looking Glass Events

For more information on A Cause to Celebrate, visit bvillecausetocelebrate.com.

Celebrating Community By Lorna Oppedisano

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NEW IN THE ‘CUSE Interact Language Center

I n an age of ubiquitous Internet access, easy and affordable travel and booming international business opportunities, being multi-lingual is not just a professional asset, but a personal one as well.

Many people may think they don’t have the skills or time to learn a new language, but InterAct Language Center, a new language learning center, is seeking to help them overcome those obstacles. The new center, located at 7153 E. Genesee St. in Fayetteville, provides lessons in a wide array of languages aimed at helping those who want to expand their cultural horizons. InterAct Language Center co-owners Engracia Schuster and Ana Guerrero, both natives of Barcelona, Spain, teamed up to open the center early this year with the hopes of providing a language and cultural learning center, something Engracia says is lacking in the greater Syracuse area. “Syracuse is rapidly becoming a more culturally diverse place, but there really aren’t any centers for people to go to learn a new language and the culture that surrounds it,” she said. InterAct Language Center offers private and group language instruction for all ages in Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish and many other languages. The center also offers after-school tutoring, professional workshops, editing and translation. Free initial consultations are provided to gain a sense of the skill level possessed by a student in the language the student wishes to learn. Instructors at InterAct can meet with students at the center, but can also utilize FaceTime, Skype and phone calls, or meet a student offsite. Engracia explained that when people in the area want to learn a language, they have to rely on expensive computer programs or pay

Breaking Down BarriersBy Hayleigh Gowans

to take a language course at a local college or university. And while learning a language through an online program may be helpful, she said having in-person conversations and gaining feedback – something stressed at InterAct – is beneficial. “Anyone can learn a new language. Learning a new language can improve brain function and exercise the mind,” Engracia said.

“It also opens up job opportunities both globally and locally. And it helps people connect with relatives and friends around the world … Today our world is so interconnected. It’s so valuable to be able to speak another language.” Engracia stressed that the instructional programs are designed to be flexible, so people can learn at their own pace. Lessons are tailored for each student’s goals, including travel, work, family background or just for fun. “We want people to feel comfortable and be able to learn in their own way,” Engracia said. “We hope this provides a flexible and affordable option for those who want to learn another language.” In the future, Engracia said she hopes the center will be able to expand and offer cultural events aimed at producing a greater interest and understanding

between people of different cultures in the Syracuse area. She said the center is also interested in training and hiring those fluent in multiple languages to become language instructors. SWM

Prices for adult private sessions are $45 per hour, and $25 per hour for group sessions. Prices for children ages 13 and younger are $20 per 45-minute private session. To learn more about the center and the services that are offered, call 391-6652, email [email protected] or go to interactlanguagecenter.com. Photos courtesy of InterAct Language Center.


BUSY WOMAN’S GUIDE How to Revel in “Me Time”

By Karen J. Cordano

M orning sickness came early and often when I was pregnant with my second. Our eldest wasn’t yet 18 months old. He needed constant supervision, which meant Tom

joined me in the bathroom while I horked my brains out. One memorable day, he climbed up my back, threw his arms around my neck, and asked “Whatcha doing?” as I coughed up a lung. Pity party aside, even unpleasantness becomes routine, and I quickly resigned to throwing up with an audience. Then Saturday would roll around. It was the highlight of my world. Tom played with his father while I embraced the porcelain throne with complete privacy, door locked and everything. It was grand. During that pregnancy, I phoned my sister daily. She also had a little one and was expecting. All we seemed to talk about was how exhausted we were. I told her my secret fantasy was to develop a mild and non-life-threatening illness that would land me in the hospital for two or three days. “I don’t want to court tragedy here, I just want to have a couple of days in bed. I want someone to make my food, even if it is terrible hospital food,” I would explain. “I want to sleep, and when I’m done sleeping, I want to sleep a little more.” I am not a stoic or selfless person. But even for a deeply flawed newish Mom like me, motherhood was so overwhelming that “me time” fantasies involved hospital stays or throwing up alone. All Moms can’t be placed in the same box. Learning to carve out and enjoy “me time” isn’t achieved using a simple and universal formula. When one emerges from the fog of the first couple of years of motherhood, who wouldn’t want a massage a week,

or a cleaning service, or a regular yoga class at a fancy studio? Many of us don’t have the time or resources to make those dreams a reality. But small moments can be every bit as impactful as an expensive facial. Over the years I’ve learned I cannot parent effectively if I do not have some time to myself. Or should I say my endlessly patient husband Zeke figured it out for me. Evidently, it becomes unpleasant for everyone in our house when I am overwhelmed. Zeke is a morning person. I hate the dawn and would do anything to milk a few more minutes of sleep. He gets up and deals with our guys for the first hour, sending Tom or Charlie to rouse me at 7:30. During that lovely extra hour, I drift in and out of sleep while reveling in the complete lack of responsibility. After wakeup, I still have plenty of time to make lunches and get the kiddos dressed, with teeth brushed, before school drop-off. But the most restorative “me time” happens on Wednesday mornings after taking the boys to their schools. When I drop my son at Ed Smith, I do love hearing the other kids call me “Tom’s Mom.” I am proud of being that person. But I am also Karen. And remembering what it feels like to be her is vital to my happiness. Once Charlie is deposited at his preschool, Bernice Wright, I meet up with a small group of dear friends. The location has varied, the cast of characters expands and contracts depending on obligations; but for an hour or two, we don’t have to worry about being Moms. We can simply be friends. I cannot think of a more wonderful version of “me time.” And on the best weeks, someone brings a selection from Picasso’s Pastries. SWM

How to Revel in “Me Time”


INSPIRE Nancy Linton

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The Reigning Glamma By Lorna Oppedisano

N ancy Linto is the ultimate matriarch. She’ll laugh it off with a humble wave of her hand, bangle bracelets jingling all the while, and say, “Oh honey, that’s just me.” But the reality is

that she, like many grandmothers, is the glue that holds together her incredibly close family. Being a single mother of a biracial family in the inner city of Syracuse wasn’t always easy. Nancy worked, and made sure her five children had the basic necessities, be it food, clothing or manners. Through the ebbs and flows of single motherhood – “Everybody has ups and downs,” she said simply – she taught lessons and gathered stories. “I’m a character,” she said with a laugh. “I was telling my kids… I said, ‘If I was important, I could write a book.’” But Nancy is important. It’s not just because she raised Temple University and NBA star basketball player Rick Brunson, or is grandmother to rising freshman Villanova basketball star Jalen Brunson. It’s not just because to the best of her ability, she doesn’t miss one game or recital of her 11 grandchildren. And it’s not just because her hip-shaking dance to “Single Ladies,” filmed in her living room one morning on a lark, was featured on The Today Show. Nancy is important in the way that all grandmothers and mothers are important: she’s the center of the family, from whom all traditions, stories and lessons originate. Nancy’s roots and legacy start with her own mother. While they weren’t extremely well off, her mother made sure that Nancy had opportunities that her mother hadn’t been offered growing up in the country. When Nancy grew up and had five children of her own, she in turn wanted more for them than she had had for herself. They’re now five well-rounded and responsible adults, she said proudly. Nancy attributes her successful single motherhood to a few things: family, friends and faith. Her own mother was a convert to Catholicism, and raised Nancy in the Church. “And so she said, ‘You have to raise your children in some faith, whether it’s Catholic or [something else],’” Nancy reminisced, explaining that she couldn’t have made it this far without having been powered by her faith. Through the ups and downs of motherhood, Nancy’s own mother was always there for her and they remained close until she passed away a few years ago. While her mother didn’t have a lot of money, she was always willing to give Nancy her very last dollar.

I’m a character. I was telling my kids...I said, ‘If I was important, I could write a book.’” —Nancy Linto

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With the responsibility of five children, you might assume that Nancy never had time to herself during all those years, but the truth is quite the contrary. “Oh, no,” she said, with a smile and a youthful twinkle in her eye. “I made time for myself, too. I went out, honey.” Nancy balanced everything with the help of three close friends, she explained. “There were three of us girl friends and we all took care of each other,” she said. “And it’s a good thing I did, because now I’m settled. I feel like I’ve done stuff.” Reminiscing, Nancy stressed the importance of keeping her priorities straight. Rent was always first. Groceries were second. Anything else for her children was third. “And other than that, you try to divvy it out,” she said. To meet her priorities, she worked for Blue Cross for years. Even when her neighbors invited her to join them outside – “smokin’, drinkin’, having a good ol’ time,” she described with a chuckle – she knew her priorities and kept them. It wasn’t pride that kept her going; it was principle. “Everybody else didn’t work, because you did better not working. I always wanted to work,” she said. “And I would

go out to work every day and I’d come home. And I’d be dragging. I’d be tired.” Now that her children are older and have families of their own, Nancy sees that sense of hard work daily in her growing family. Having moved out of the city some years ago into a house that her son bought her, Nancy and her husband of 12 years split their time between work – Nancy works per diem for Crouse Hospital – traveling and spending time with their grandchildren. Whether she’s cheering on Jalen at a Villanova game or her

granddaughter at a local dance recital, it’s safe to say that Nancy’s grandchildren are now her No. 1 priority. She tells them all they’re her favorite, she joked; the bond of love, humor and respect she created with her children carried on to the next generation. “The kids named me ‘Glamma’,” she said with a proud laugh. Nancy suggested that the tight family bond grew from her role as a single mother in her children’s lives. She explained that not only is she close to her children and grandchildren, but she even regularly vacations with her in-laws. She thought about that family bond a moment longer. “I don’t know if I even answered the question about the bond,” she mused, thinking back over the last few decades. “It just is.” SWM


INSPIRE Sally Santangelo

SALLYSANTANGELOCNY Fair Housing executive director


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It’s estimated that 90 percent of fair housing cases go unreported. So we know there are a lot of people who are being discriminated against that we aren’t even hearing about.” —Sally Santangelo

“W e fell on hard times when I was young. My father lost his business, and we lost most everything. We had to rely on public assistance and food stamps and a lot of charity

of friends and neighbors and family. But we never lost our house,” said CNY Fair Housing Executive Director Sally Santangelo. Sally was only six years old when that happened, but it clearly affected her path in life. Having seen firsthand the importance of a safe, reliable space to live, she now fights for all of Central New York to have that right. Sally grew up in a small three-bedroom, one-bathroom ranch home in North Syracuse, where she lived with seven brothers and sisters and her parents. Although it was a struggle for her family when her father lost his business, Sally knew their poverty was temporary. Both her parents had college educations, and a few years later, when the family opened a new business – Santangelo’s Restaurant – they used their house as collateral in purchasing restaurant equipment. Although they nearly lost the business a few years in, the Santangelos did eventually escape poverty. Sally studied political science in college. She returned to Syracuse to work in politics for a while, and then eventually was hired as an investigator at CNY Fair Housing. Within six months, she was promoted to director of enforcement. Another eight months passed, and she became interim director, and then executive director about three and a half years ago. It wasn’t a career she’d planned, she explained, but everything she did perfectly led to it. Now that she strives to provide fair housing for everyone, her biggest overall frustration is the fact that there are always more people in need of the organization’s help. “It’s estimated that 90 percent of fair housing cases go unreported,” she explained. “So we know there are a lot of people who are being discriminated against that we aren’t even hearing about.” A lot of the cases deal with generational poverty, she said. When you have literally generations of people who have known nothing but poverty, it’s a hard cycle to break. Citing her childhood, Sally explained that many people don’t have those extra supports that her family did; primarily, they were lucky to own their home, but they also had social supports, a good school and a parks and recreation program during the summer. Sally explained that they deal with individual cases on a day-to-day basis – like an African American family being harassed by neighbors for moving to the suburbs, or not even being given the opportunity to apply for such housing – but wants to address the roots of the problem.

“We’re also trying to get to the broader issues, like making sure there are more affordable housing choices for families in the community. Right now there’s very limited affordable housing choices for people to even live outside of the city,” she said. Seventy-five percent of the affordable living units in Onondaga County are within Syracuse city limits, Sally said, explaining that this severely limits options for low-income families. CNY Fair Housing is working to increase the number of affordable housing spaces outside of the city. Investing in preexisting units is also a priority, whether that means improving their quality, so children don’t get lead poisoning in their homes, or forcing landlords to fulfill responsibilities to provide safe living space, Sally explained. When a tenant faces daily safety and health issues, it can lead to missed work, which in turn means less money, and the end result can be eviction – all caused by problems outside of the tenant’s control. “And people end up in this cycle of eviction, which is incredibly expensive, to continue to have to move and come up with a new security deposit and the moving expenses,” Sally said. “So trying to make sure those legal protections for people [are there] will help in terms of housing.”

CNY Fair Housing also deals with a number of disability cases – about 60 percent of the workload, Sally said. Sometimes that means denial of housing, like a housing provider saying “he doesn’t need to rent to crazy people,” Sally cited. A lot of the time, the agency deals with housing providers who refuse reasonable accommodations or modifications. The agency spends a lot of time fighting for people who need things like permission granted for an emotional support animal, or grab bars installed in their apartment. Sally’s work has influenced her own life, she said. In a lot of cases, she sees people treating others horribly. She stresses empathy and kindness toward all people, and teaches

her three young boys to fight for what’s right. “If there was just more common decency, we wouldn’t have jobs, and that would be OK with me. I would find something else to do,” Sally said with a smile. SWM

For more information about CNY Fair Housing, including resources and how to get involved, visit cnyfairhousing.org.

The Right of Fair Housing By Lorna Oppedisano


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44 SYRACUSEWOMANMAG.COM Entrepreneurs/WISE

INSPIRE Barbara Huntress Tresness

BARBARA HUNTRESS TRESNESSBarbara Huntress Tresness, author and CHAT Collective founder


B arbara Huntress Tresness lived a storybook life. She didn’t have birds braiding her hair and forest creatures doing her dishes, but her life had no major issues. She met her husband while

studying psychology at the University of Vermont, and eventually moved to the Syracuse area. The couple was raising two boys, with a third on the way. Then Barb’s placenta abrupted. She had an emergency C-section. Her son Graham was born at 35 weeks with cerebral palsy. Doctors told Barb that he might not make it through the night. He did, and now he’s one of Barb’s greatest inspirations. “As a person, when you’re faced with a challenge, some people get stuck. And I just, as a person, said I’m not going to get stuck in the anger or the bitter,” she reminisced. “I’m going to find a way through.” The first few years were tough. When Graham was born in 2000, he was silent. It consumed Barb. She remembers thinking, ‘Why was he not crying?’ When the tears came, it was loud, hard and continuous. “You have a bad time with a sick child, and it’s a few days. This was unending,” she said, explaining that it lasted for years, and she didn’t know what to do for him. She followed the experts’ instructions, but nothing seemed to work; in some cases, medicines seemed to agitate her son even more. When Graham was 4 years old, Barb heard about craniosacral therapy, a form of massage founded by Dr. John Upledger. She contacted a therapist, and he came to the house. When he began his work, it didn’t appear he was doing much, Barb admits, but then Graham stopped crying. “And I’m staring,” she recalled. “And then all of the sudden, he smiled for the first time.” Around the same time, the family took a trip to Las Vegas, and stayed in a hotel with animals. Barb was surprised when a trainer asked her if Graham wanted to touch a dolphin. She hesitantly agreed, not even sure that her son could touch it. Much to her amazement, he did; and in return, the dolphin picked up her head and touched Graham. The crowd was in awe, Barb remembered. “They had this connection, and it was immediate,” she said. “And I thought, ‘OK, there’s something to this dolphin thing. I’ve got to pursue this.’” In August 2004, Barb followed the idea of dolphin therapy to the Upledger Institute in the Bahamas. She had no idea what to expect, but the animals seemed to intuitively know how to approach Graham, and had a positive effect on him. Moreover, shortly after the family returned home, Graham took his first unaided weight-bearing steps.

I’m not going to get stuck in the anger or the bitter. I’m going to find a way through.” —Barbara Huntress Tresness

CHATting TogetherBy Lorna Oppedisano

“And the only thing I’d done differently was the dolphin therapy with Upledger. So I knew then that there was something really magical about this,” she said. She continued on her journey with Graham, becoming a licensed massage therapist and learning craniosacral therapy. Despite all of this growth, Graham still faced one major issue: communication. It’s not that people were intentionally dismissive; many simply didn’t know how to interact with someone like Graham, who Barb describes as a “nonverbal communicator.” “I was telling our story, and I’m passionate about it. I realized that I’m just a mom in Manlius, NY. This is a global issue. This is misunderstanding disability and communication up here,” she said, raising her hand to a high “macro” level. In the last few years, Barb and her husband have partnered with organizations like Syracuse University’s Burton Blatt Institute and AccessCNY to found CHAT Collective. The business started as a week-long summer camp, and then a club, but Barb wanted something less labor-intensive that could reach more people. “How can we take what worked – the socialization, the communication and the awareness – and bring it to the

community?” she pondered. Now, CHAT Collective aims to help verbal communicators understand that communication is a universal concept, and doesn’t always occur in an exchange of spoken words. She’s written a guidebook and designed hand bands, communication cards, dog tags and T-shirts to help bridge the gap. Barb remembers every piece of her

16-year tale in great detail. In sharing it, she’s not looking for pity or sympathy for herself or Graham. She’s not bragging about her strength. She’s just straightforward and honest. “The whole journey started with me as a mom, who was overwhelmed,” Barb said simply. They still have trying days. People still stare. While there are many people who – thanks to CHAT Collective – know how to interact with nonverbal and limited communicators, there are still plenty who lack that knowledge. At the end of last year, Barb shared her story in the memoir, “Beyond a Charmed Life: A Mother’s Unconditional Love.” “I wanted people to know that they’re not alone. And I wanted them to take the journey with me and see all that we went through,” she explained. “And then you can appreciate whatever your next challenge is. You might come at it differently, because you’ve lived through someone else’s journey.” SWM

If you want to learn more about Barb and Graham’s story, visit barbarahuntresstresness.com. For more about CHAT Collective, visit chatcollective.com.


schools of excellence


Sunday, May 8Amberations Bike Ride, Open House and Mother’s Day BrunchWhen: Bike ride registration, 8 a.m.; ride, 9 a.m.; brunch, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.What: Seventeen-mile bike ride around Otisco Lake and Mother’s Day brunch. Race sponsored by the Bikery and supported by Wegmans.Cost: Individual rider, $20; family of riders, $40; brunch for non-riders, $12; brunch for children ages 11 and younger, $6. Where: Amberations, 2223 Amber Road, Marietta. Info: Amberations, amberations.org, 636-7166 or [email protected].

Friday, May 13A Cause to Celebrate When: 6 to 10 p.m.What: Gaming tables, fashion show, complimentary tastings, DJ, photo booth, cash bar and VIP lounge. Proceeds to benefit the Silver Knight Foundation.Cost: In cash, $25; online, $26.75; VIP ticket, cash, $50; VIP ticket online, $51.75.Where: Central New York Family Sports Centre, 7201 Jones Road, Syracuse. Info: bvillecausetocelebrate.com.

Sunday, May 15Pilates & Yoga RetreatWhen: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.What: Classes, workshops, vendors, educators and food. Hosted by Core Pilates & Yoga.Cost: $20 per class or workshop; entire day, $90.Where: Green Lakes State Park, 7900 Green Lakes Road, Fayetteville.Info: Core Pilates & Yoga, corepilatesyoga.com or 480-9727.

Tuesday, May 17An Evening with David GreeneWhen: Doors at 6:30 p.m.; event, 7:30 p.m. What: Veteran journalist and current co-host of NPR’s Morning Edition to speak about his experiences reporting and hosting around the world. Cost: General admission, $20.Where: Syracuse Stage, 820 E. Genesee St., Syracuse.Info: WRVO, wrvo.org.

Wednesday, May 4WBOC Monthly MeetingWhen: 4:30 to 6:30 p.m.What: This month’s topic is “Financial Lessons & Wisdom in Entrepreneurship.” Where: Genesee Grande Hotel, 1060 E. Genesee St., Syracuse.Info: Women Business Opportunities Connections, wboconnection.org.

Wednesday, May 4 through Sunday, May 8Cirque du Soleil OVOWhen: 7 p.m. Wednesday through Friday; 4 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday; 1:30 and 5 p.m. Sunday.What: Cirque du Soleil’s newest touring show. Cost: $41 to $145 plus services charges, dependent on day and seat. Where: The Oncenter War Memorial Arena, 760 S. State St., Syracuse.Info: Cirque du Soleil, cirquedusoleil.com.

Thursday, May 5Beer Garden: Cinco de MayoWhen: 5 to 8 p.m.What: Fine craft beverages from local breweries, music by Castle Creek and access to all current exhibits.Cost: Everson members, $10; nonmembers, $15.Where: Everson Museum of Art, 401 Harrison St., Syracuse.Info: Museum, everson.org.

Saturday, May 7Culture 2016When: 6 to 11 p.m.What: Cultural exhibits, basket raffles, complimentary cocktails, cash bar and a five-course meal. Proceeds to benefit Hopeprint in its efforts to empower resettled refugees. Cost: $100.Where: Sky Armory, 351 S. Clinton St., Syracuse.Info: Hopeprint, myhopeprint.org.

Sunday, May 8Mother’s Day BrunchWhen: 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.What: Food, drinks and live music.Cost: Adults, $34.95; children ages 10 and younger, $14.95.Where: Sky Armory, 351 S. Clinton St., Syracuse.Info: Sky Armory, skyarmory.com or 473-0826.

UPCOMING SWM Events


Tuesday, May 17 through Thursday, May 1942nd StreetWhen: 7:30 p.m. each day.What: Famous Artists touring production of the Broadway musical comedy.Cost: $30 to $60 plus services charges. Where: The Oncenter Crouse Hinds Theater, 421 Montgomery St., Syracuse. Info: Famous Artists, nacentertainment.com/cities/syracuse.

Thursday, May 199th Annual Celebrating Life through Chocolate When: 5:30 to 8 p.m.What: Desserts from local chocolatiers and bakeries, wine tasting, silent auction and music by Donna Colton. Proceeds to benefit Hospice of Central New York.Cost: In advance, $20; at the door, $35.Where: Bella Domani Catering & Banquets, 5988 E. Taft Road, Syracuse.Info: Hospice, hospicecny.org or 634-1100.

Saturday, May 21The Promise Walk for PreeclampsiaWhen: Registration begins at 8:30 a.m.; opening ceremonies, 9:30 a.m.; walk, 10 a.m.; event concludes by 11:30 a.m. What: Walk, children’s activities, coffee and light breakfast. Cost: No required registration fee, but donations to the Preeclampsia Foundation encouraged.Where: Willow Bay Shelter Area at Onondaga Lake Park, 6851 Onondaga Lake Parkway, Liverpool.Info: promisewalk.org.

Saturday, May 21Band Together for Suicide PreventionWhen: 2 to 6 p.m.What: Performances by Driftwater, The Lightkeepers, D. RAS and The Lizard. All proceeds benefit American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.Cost: In advance, $15; at the door, $20; ticket includes food.Where: Sharkey’s Bar and Grill, 7240 Oswego Road, Liverpool.Info: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, afsp.org/centralny or 664-0346.

Saturday, May 21CNY Kids ExpoWhen: 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.What: Interactive exhibits, raffles, bounce houses, book fair, puppy rescues, shopping and more. Benefits Make A Wish of Central New York and The Keys Program. Cost: $3; family pack of four tickets, $10.Where: NYS Fairgrounds, 581 State Fair Blvd., Syracuse. Info: CNY Kids Expo, cnykidsexpo.com or facebook.com/CNYKidsExpo.

Saturday, May 21Syracuse Food Truck FestivalWhen: Noon to 7 p.m.What: More than 25 food trucks and more than 50 craft beers. Hosted by Food Truck Festivals of America.Cost: Admission in advance, $5; sampler ticket in advance, $30; admission day of, $10; sampler ticket day of, $40.Where: NYS Fairgrounds, 581 State Fair Blvd., Syracuse.Info: Food Truck Festivals of America, foodtruckfestivalsofamerica.com.

Saturday, May 21Apple Blossom Festival and CookoutWhen: Noon to 5 p.m.What: Wagon rides, cow train rides, live music, cookout, games and more.Cost: Free admission.Where: Critz Farms, 3232 Rippleton Road, Cazenovia. Info: Critz Farms, critzfarms.com or 662-3355.

Tuesday, May 24Central New York’s Best Places to WorkWhen: 7:30 to 10 a.m.What: Presented by BizEventz and RMS.Where: SRC Arena & Events Center, Onondaga Community College, 4585 W. Seneca Turnpike, Syracuse.Info: BizEventz, cnybj.com/bizeventz.

Thursday, May 2612th Annual Mr. HabitatWhen: 6 to 9 p.m.What: Raffles, giveaways, live music, silent auction, food and more. Proceeds benefit Women Build.Cost: $20.Where: Drumlins Country Club Ballroom, 800 Nottingham Road, Syracuse. Info: Register to attend, bizeventz.com; information, syracusehabitat.org.

Saturday, May 28 & Sunday, May 2913th Annual Shearing FestivalWhen: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.What: Animals, games, live music, food and more. Cost: Free admission. Where: Springside Farm, 1940 Jerome Road, Fabius. Info: springsidefarm.net.


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syracuse woman magazine may 2016

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