survivors of suicide king/ pierce/ thurston county...
TRANSCRIPT
SURVIVORS OF SUICIDE
King/ Pierce/ Thurston County Support Groups NOVEMBER/DECEMBER, 2015
NEWSLETTER
Website: www.auburnsos.com e-mail: [email protected]
WHAT IS S.O.S.?
S.O.S. stands for Survivors of Suicide. S.O.S. groups provide support for anyone who has lost a loved one to
suicide. Based on guidelines established by the American Association of Suicidology, the groups are self-help
and peer-led. The goal is to help deal with the loss and trauma and grief associated with that loss. Auburn
S.O.S. is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization as defined by the IRS.
LOVE GIFTS:
If you would like to remember your Loved One who has completed suicide in the form of a Love Gift it will
be mentioned in the newsletter if we have your permission. There are no dues or fees at S.O.S. Donations are
always welcome to help defray such costs as printing, postage, and the purchase of new tapes and books for
our lending libraries and other costs associated with the community awareness programs we are involved in.
Donations may be mailed to the address below or made at any meeting. Please make your checks payable to
Auburn or Olympia SOS.
Auburn Survivors of Suicide
28824 21st Ave. S.
Federal Way, WA 98003
Contact information for each group and
its facilitator is on page three.
Many thanks to Kathy Melsness for a love gift in memory of her daughter Marlene.
Many thanks to an Anonymous donor for the gift of the newsletter. Thank you so much!
We also received a check from Goodsearch.com
We also received a check from Washington State Combined Fund
To all of you who so generously drop something in the donation box – thank you!
IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE:
Please do not hesitate to pick up your phone and call another survivor from the S.O.S. group if you are
having a hard time. We’ve all been there!
Ron Callahan 253-226-3689 Lost son Kathy Melsness 253-446-6500 Lost daughter
Andee Nydegger 253-820-1911 Lost brother Pam Driggers 253-921-7829 Lost husband
Janis Fesenmaier 360-866-2509 Lost brother Kathy Sterling 206-244-8729 Lost grandson
José Martin 206-228-7413 Lost son Kathy Crowley 253-471-9412 Lost son
Call José if you would like to speak to another survivor in Spanish.
Me gustaria ayudar a la gente que necesite hablar espanol
Weather Alert!
If the weather is inclement (as in ‘snow’!) we will follow the guidelines of the local school
district as to whether or not to cancel our meeting.
Thinking of You Especially:
Nov. 1 Tina Lewis Lost her father Frankie
Nov. 2 Suzanne Gray Lost her husband Marshall
Nov. 3 Kristin, Charlie Evans Lost her son Scott
Nov. 3 Rick & Ellen Nelson Lost their son Erik
Nov. 3 Jan Strickland Lost her spouse Jacob
Nov. 3 Amanda Woods Lost her father Dean
Nov. 8 Lori Storm Lost her son Randy
Nov. 9 Uta Klingele Lost her brother Karl
Nov. 11 Nancy Babst, Kristen Fisher Lost her son Garrett, lost her brother Garrett
Nov. 11 Emily Wallace Lost her friend Garrett
Nov. 11 Jenine Ellisor Lost her son James
Nov. 11 Linda Page Lost her daughter Stephanie
Nov. 13 Michelle Nelson Lost her brother Shon
Nov. 14 Mimi Kennedy Lost her husband Brandon
Nov. 16 Kieth / Kathy Sterling Lost their grandson Michael
Nov. 16 Roberta Parker Lost her son Matthew
Nov. 19 Jeff Halvorson Lost his father Larry
Nov. 19 Deloris Brodt Lost her daughter Toni
Nov. 19 Sharon Baughman Lost her daughter Rachel
Nov. 20 Gretchen Price Lost her spouse Jeff
Nov. 23 Jeni Jones, Tobias Roberts Lost her boyfriend Derek, his best friend Derek
Nov. 24 Eric and Kathy Swanson Lost their son Anthony
Nov. 24 Dru Gonia Lost her daughter Kara
Nov. 24 Dennis and Linda Hovland, Marla Lost their son Vinnie, lost her brother Vinnie
Nov. 26 Leslie Phillips Lost her son Robbie
Nov. 27 Jeff Halvorson Lost his brother Jerry
Nov. 27 Joan Helbacka Lost her brother Bill
Nov. 28 Carole Duncan Lost her son Nick
Nov. 28 Naomi Frank Lost her boyfriend Jimmie
Nov. 28 Lydia,Larry Garrett Lost their son Phil
Nov 29 Anna Johnson Lost her son Jens
Nov 30 Lilli Blaylock Lost her son Andy
Nov 30 Sandy Payne Lost her son George
Nov Aaron Hendrickson Lost his nephew Xay
Dec 1 Elisa Jungbauer Lost her brother Arthur
Dec 1 Jennifer Utterback Lost her boyfriend Brandon
Dec 1 Jennifer Nelson Lost her mother Linda
Dec 1 Rusty McIntosh, Ellen Boldhaupt Lost their mother Edith
Dec 2 Doug & Cathy Johnson Lost their son James
Dec 4 Andi Church, Melissa Czichas Lost her son Travis, lost her brother Travis
Dec 5 Stephanie DeVault Lost her daughter Vanessa
Dec 7 Betty Hamilton, Glenda Binford Lost her husband Larry, lost her father Larry
Dec 10 Rachel Kringle Lost her dad Greg
Dec 10 Denise & Jim Tiller, Jaclyn Ehli Lost their son, Matthew, lost her brother Matthew
Dec 12 Denise Mecartea Lost her daughter, lost his friend, Marcia
Dec 12 Klara Lukacs Lost husband Stephen
Dec 15 Lynn Nieland Lost her former spouse Brian
Dec 15 Shella Petterson Lost her son Troy
Dec 16 Emily Gould Lost her friend Sean
Dec 15 Jan Lumsden Lost her brother
Dec 19 Monica Gockel Lost her dad Tim
Dec 19 Louie Freeman Lost her son Jason
Dec 22 Marjorie Silver Lost her dad Mac
Dec 23 Kim Dickson Lost her husband John
Dec 23 Jalene King Lost her brother Matthew
Dec 23 Betsy Vela Lost her father Kim
Dec 24 Stacy Mayer Lost his brother Scott
Dec 24 Joan Robertson Lost her brother Steven
Dec 30 Karen Nash Lost her son Bobby
Dec 31 Gary Keizer Lost his daughter Rachel
Dec 31 Liz Carr Lost her brother Michael
We also remember our loved ones whose birthdays are in the following months:
November birthdays: Robin, Dean, Marnie, Sandi, Marcus, Ron, Ed, Dwaine, Craig, Mac, Randy, Tom, Logan,
Edith, Garth, John, Jennifer, Samuel, Jonathan, Austin Kyle, Stephen Lee, Aaron, Douglas, Mark, Steve, Robby,
Danielle, Bill, Jeff and Kolby.
December birthdays: Kory, Victrina, Michael Shane, Rick, Robert, Matthew, Paul, Anna, Jason, Noel, Bobby,
Kevin, John, Cameron, Brian, Brad, Luke, Randy, Jimmie, Robby, Rod, Debbie, Jack, Thomas, Paul,
Christopher, Jens, Travis, Chris, Kenneth, Jerry, Jennifer, Derek, Jon, Berry and James.
We strive for accuracy. If we are missing the name of your loved one or if the information is
incorrect please let us know so we can correct it! Send an e-mail to [email protected]
MEETINGS FOR NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER:
The Auburn Group meets on the fourth Tuesday of every month (except this December!). Meetings are held at the
Auburn Fire Station located at 1101 D Street in Auburn from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. If you have any questions or
need directions please call Pam at 253-921-7829.
The Olympia Group meets on the third Tuesday of every month. Meetings are held at the Westwood Baptist Church
in room E-10, located at 333 Kaiser Road in Olympia from 7:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. For more information or
directions please call Janis at 360-866-2509.
There is no fee to attend either of these groups. For more information send an e-mail to [email protected]
Those we love don’t go away,
They walk beside us everyday. Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and held so dear.
The Holidays Are Around the Corner!
While each group celebrates differently, each group’s facilitator tries to soften the blow of facing the holidays
without the one lost to suicide.
Please join us for a special holiday meeting of Auburn SOS on Tuesday, December 15th. We will meet starting
at 6:00 p.m. Bring finger food to share and a picture of your loved one. We will have our quilt s on display. We
will also have directions and fabric available if you are interested in making a quilt square of your loved one. We
will end the meeting with a candle-lighting ceremony. Please call Pam at 253-921-7829 for more information.
Our host, the Auburn Fire Department, participates in the Toys for Tots program; we invite you to bring a new toy to
donate. This is a way many survivors commemorate the one they lost to suicide – by giving to someone else.
The Olympia Group will hold a special holiday meeting on Tuesday, Dec. 16th Call Janis at 360-866-2509 for details.
They will end the meeting with a candle-lighting ceremony.
Fall is here and the holiday season isn’t too far behind! This year both groups will be meeting
on the 3rd Tuesday in December. Auburn will not be meeting on the 4th Tuesday in December.
Out of the Darkness Community Walks
Olympia and Auburn Survivor of Suicide Groups have long participated in these walks as a way to help both
the newly bereaved and the long-time survivor.
Olympia, September 12 Janis, facilitator of the Olympia group, held down the fort at
the Olympia walk held at Marathon Park on September 12th.
Olympia had about 450 registered walkers and raised over
$20,000.00. Both numbers an increase from last year.
Great job Olympians!! So pleased you got to walk in
shirt sleeves with no umbrella!
Aberdeen, October 5
Love it that so many of our walks here in the Northwest
are on or near the water – like the one in Aberdeen at
Morrison Park on October 5th.
Here, helping to pass out beads is Miss Grays Harbor.
Here is Janis staffing the SOS Booth
Aberdeen had just over 70 registered participants and
raised almost $5,000.00.
Great job raising money and awareness, and beautiful
blue skies too!
Tacoma, October 10
The Tacoma walk committee did an AMAZING
job at their first Out of the Darkness Walk
458 walkers and they surpassed the event goal and
raised $29,000.00!
Tacoma also got front page coverage with the
Tacoma News Tribune!
Yes, it rained!
Seattle, October 25
Seattle, meeting for the first time at Fisher
Pavilion at Seattle Center, had 1280
walkers and raised about $140,000.00! We
were very pleased to be able to display all
three of our Lifesaver Quilts this year.
Here are Char Ashcraft and Pam Driggers
We even had a Marine Corps Honor Guard.
Six Tips to Cope with Grief During the Holidays by Erika Goyer, mom to Carrick
What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller
The holidays can be an especially difficult time for people who have lost a loved one. So many holiday routines
and activities revolve around the gathering of family and friends. Yet, bereaved people may not feel up for
celebrating as usual or embracing holiday traditions that they have in the past. Instead of feeling a sense of loss
over what the holidays were supposed to be, we can take this as an opportunity to recreate what they will be for
our families from now on. The following are tips for enjoying your holidays in the face of grief:
Simplify
Don’t expect to do everything you have in the past. Pick and choose what you’re up for. This will give
you the chance to think about which traditions hold real meaning for you and which you have simply
observed because of habit or other people’s expectations.
Communicate with your family and friends. They will understand if you need to “take a break” from past expectations. Let them know what your plans are and what you might need from them in return.
Honor Your Family
You had hopes and expectation for what the holidays would be like. And now things have changed. Acknowledge that loss.
Many holiday traditions, like gift giving, hold special significance for parents and children. It can be hard to think of yourself as a parent when your child has died. Be sure to remember the many gifts you gave your loved one while they were with you – and the gifts they gave to you.
Make Room for Your Feelings
Slow down and allow yourself time to think about and remember your child.
Talk about your child. Let other people know how you want your child to be talked about and remembered by showing them with your words and actions.
Create New Traditions
Holidays mark special milestones in a family’s life. Think about how you will remember the life of your child in your family’s history and traditions.
Change the focus of your celebration. Revisit why you celebrate a particular holiday and what its significance is in your life. This can give traditions and rituals a renewed depth of meaning.
Be Generous with Others
Do things that help you feel connected. Spend time with the people you love. Nurture those relationships.
Give of your time, talents, and skills. Sharing can lift spirits and ease burdens.
Be Generous with Yourself
Expect that you will feel sad sometimes. Or angry. Or alone. These are all appropriate feelings. Don’t think of them as being counter-productive. What they really are is an acknowledgement of the intense love you hold for your child.
Allow yourself to be happy. There is nothing selfish about celebrating or feeling joy. The capacity for joy is what connects us to each other. It’s what the holidays are all about.
Don't forget to ask the kids. One father was consumed with anxiety over how he and his teenage children were going to spend the first holiday without their mother, but he didn't want to burden them further. It wasn't until his older son, who had done community service in school, suggested they serve meals in a homeless shelter on Christmas that a family conversation took place. "It was the best way we could have gotten through the day," he said afterwards.
International Survivors of Suicide Day, November 21st
Thousands of survivors of suicide loss will gather together around the world on this day for support, healing, and empowerment.
Hundreds of conference sites will simultaneously watch a broadcast produced by the
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). On this video, a diverse panel of
survivors and mental health professionals will address the questions that so many survivors
face: Why did this happen? How can I cope? Where can I find support?
Each location welcomes survivors of suicide loss, providing a safe and healing space where
everyone can comfortably participate in a way that is meaningful to them. Join with others to listen to a
diverse group of survivors discuss their losses, how they coped, and much more.
Come and experience the powerful sense of connection and community that is forged between survivors of
suicide loss. You are not alone. This day is for you.
If you have lost someone to suicide, please join us, more information at www.afsp.org
Programs will be held locally in the following locations: (no charge for any of these programs)
SEATTLE
Crisis Clinic, 9725 3rd Ave NE Ste 304,
Seattle, 98115
10:00 am – 2:00 pm
Contact: Michael Reading, 206-461-3210, [email protected]
TACOMA
Puyallup Tribal Healthy Authority
Kwawachee Counseling Center, Spirit House 10:00 am – 1:00 pm
Contact: Colette August, 360-490-3454, [email protected]
BREMERTON
Kitsap Mental Health Keller House, 5441 Almira Dr.,
Bremerton, WA 98311
9:00 am – 12:30 pm
Contact: Kelly Schwab, 360-415-5815, [email protected]
LYNNWOOD
Verdant Community Wellness Center
4710 - 196th Street SW
Lynnwood, 98036
10:00 am – 1:00 pm
Contact: Jennifer Piplic, 425-582-8600, [email protected]
To see if a site has been added go to www.afsp.org
Please consider us as you make your year end contributions.
YOUR DONATIONS ARE ALWAYS NEEDED, APPRECIATED AND ARE TAX-DEDUCTIBLE.
Please mail your donations to:
28824 21st Ave. S., Federal Way, WA. 98003
In memory of:
Name
Address
City, State, Zip
Holidays can be very challenging when someone is missing at the Thanksgiving table or not there to share in the holiday festivities.
Take care of each other and hold each other close and hold your missing loved ones close in your hearts.
Auburn SOS
28824 21st Ave. S.
Federal Way, WA 98003
Return Service Requested
Non profit Org
US Postage Paid
Federal Way, WA
Permit #58