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2016 UPDATE

ENGLISH I EOC WRITINGSTAAR® Preparation and Practice

STAAR® is a registered trademark of the Texas Education Agency, which does not endorse this program or its content.

• 16 Revision and Editing passages and 10 Composition prompts

• 18 Skill Lessons with scaffolded practice• 3-step approach for efficient remediation

Use with Your Students!

Copyright © 2016 by Sirius Education Solutions LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, scanning, recording, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

STAAR® is a registered trademark of the Texas Education Agency. The Texas Education Agency does not endorse this program or its content. Sirius Education Solutions is not affiliated with the Texas Education Agency or the State of Texas.

STAAR® test questions copyright © by the Texas Education Agency. All rights reserved.

Printed in Texas.

ISBN: 978-1-943008-06-3

Possession of this publication in print format does not entitle users to convert this publication, or any portion of it, into electronic format.

Thank you for respecting the copyright and supporting the effort involved in creating this product.

Sampler

iii Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Welcome Letter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vAbout the STAAR English I EOC Assessment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viHow to Use This Book for STAAR Success . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . viiSTAAR Multiple-Choice Test-Taking Strategies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xStudent Progress Monitoring Chart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xii

Section 1: RevisionIntroduction to Revision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

REVISION DIAGNOSTIC TESTPersuasive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2Expository . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

REVISION SKILLS1 Revising a Thesis or Position Statement (E1.15A, E1.16A) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 Adding Supporting Details (E1.15A, E1.16A, E1.16E) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133 Combining Sentences (E1.13C) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164 Improving Transitions (E1.13C, E1.15A, E1.16D) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195 Revising for Coherence (E1.15A, E1.16D) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 226 Improving Clarity (E1.13C) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

REVISION PRACTICERevision 1 Summer Employment Is About More Than Money . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28Revision 2 Engage! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32Revision 3 Getting By with Bad Looks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36Revision 4 Texas’s Oldest Hangout . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40Revision 5 A World of Experience Awaits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

REVISION POST TESTPersuasive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48Expository . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

Section 2: Editing Introduction to Editing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

EDITING DIAGNOSTIC TEST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57

EDITING SKILLS1 Using Correct Capitalization (E1.18A) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 612 Using Commas Correctly (E1.18B) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 633 Using Pronouns Correctly (E1.13D) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 654 Using Verbs Correctly (E1.17A) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 675 Making Verbs Agree with Subjects (E1.13D) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 706 Choosing Correct Spellings (E1.13D, E1.19A) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 727 Using Correct Sentence Structure (E1.17C) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 748 Answering Editing Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77

Included in Sampler

Sampler

iv English I EOC Writing

EDITING PRACTICEEditing 1 Trial and Error . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79Editing 2 Turf Is Always Greener . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83Editing 3 Light Show in the Desert . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87Editing 4 Cryptids of Texas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91Editing 5 Student Council: Your Ticket to Involvement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

EDITING POST TEST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

Section 3: CompositionIntroduction to Composition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103

COMPOSITION SKILLS1 Analyzing the Prompt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1042 Drafting the Thesis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1063 Developing Supporting Ideas and Evidence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1084 Organizing Ideas and Details . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1105 Revising and Editing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112

COMPOSITION PRACTICEPrompt 1 The Role of Imagination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115Prompt 2 Animals and People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118Prompt 3 Diversity in a Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .121Prompt 4 Purposes of the Internet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124Prompt 5 Sports and Character . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .127Prompt 6 Qualities of a Leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130Prompt 7 The Importance of Math . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .133Prompt 8 The Price of Fame . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136Prompt 9 The Importance of Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139Prompt 10 The Art of Appreciation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142

Student Answer Sheets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145

Sampler

v Welcome Letter

Dear Students,

The STAAR English I assessment measures your knowledge of the English I standards (TEKS). STAAR tests are not designed to measure many important qualities of character and intelligence — as this cartoon shows. But performing well on the STAAR tests is important, so you want to do all you can to succeed on them. That’s where this workbook comes in!

Dys

lexi

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Qualities Not Measured by STAAR Tests

Big-Picture ThinkingComp�ionReliabilityMotivationHumorEmpathy

Sense of Beauty

Humility

Sense of Wonder

PersistenceCuriosityEnthusiasm

COURAGE

LeadershipCreativityCivic-Minded

Resourcefulness

PositivityResilience

What are some other important qualities of character and intelligence missing in STAAR tests?

This workbook was designed to help you prepare for the Writing part of the STAAR English I test by• teaching the skills to approach and answer different STAAR test questions, and by• providing practice questions that are similar to those you will answer on the actual test.

But as good as this workbook is, it only helps if you use it. So, please use this workbook!

Practicing Smart Is the Secret to STAAR Success There is a secret to success on the STAAR tests — practice, practice, and more practice. This is good news because you are in control of how much effort you put into practicing. But not all practice is the same… you need to practice smart.

First, practice with test questions that are very similar to the actual STAAR test. That’s easy because this workbook is full of them! Next, focus on your weaknesses —spend extra time on questions you have trouble with. Think of it like this: if your basketball shot needs improvement, you don’t practice dribbling. Instead, you practice shooting.

Focusing on your weaknesses also means carefully analyzing each test question you get wrong. Why did you get it wrong? Why is another answer correct? You can learn more from test questions you get wrong, so don’t be afraid of making mistakes. If your basketball shot is off, you identify what you are doing wrong (too far left) and correct it with your next shot (aim further right).

When you practice, give each question your full attention. Do not take a break until after you answer the question. Your attention is like a muscle that you can build by using it, one practice test question at a time. Do you believe unfocused, sloppy practice of your basketball shot will help you perform during a big game? No! Your attention is your greatest power. You develop it with practice.

Preparing for the STAAR test can actually be a fun challenge. And when you practice smart, you are building life skills while you prepare for the STAAR test!

Your partners in STAAR success,

The Sirius Education Team

Sampler

vii

How to Use This Book for STAAR Success3-Step Approach to Differentiate InstructionThis interactive workbook is easily adapted for different needs and includes an optional 3-step approach to efficiently prioritize and individualize remediation when preparation time is limited.

STEP 1 Identify Your Needs — Diagnostic Tests for Editing and RevisionUse the Diagnostic Tests for the Editing and Revision categories to identify what you know and what you need to review. Record your results in the Progress Monitoring Chart.

Diagnostic Test ■ Editing 59

F Delete the comma after begins

G Change receiving to recieving

H Delete the comma after limb

J Change fi ts to fi t

3 What change needs to be made in sentence 12? (E1.17A)

A Change would be to was

B Change engineering to engineerring

C Add a comma after and

D Change Syndey’s to Sydneys

4 What change needs to be made in sentence 15? (E1.13D)

F Change Mott Children’s Hospital to mott children’s hospital

G Change doctors to docters

H Add a comma after splints

J Change their to his

Editing Diagnostic

Read the selection and choose the best answer to each question.

Vince wrote the following paper in response to a class assignment. Proofread Vince’s paper and think about any corrections he needs to make. When you fi nish reading, answer the questions that follow.

xii Student Progress Monitoring Chart

Student Progress Monitoring Chart—How Am I Doing?Use the Diagnostic Tests to identify skill lessons you need to review. Use the steps below to monitor your progress. Because some skill lessons cover a broad standard or are assessed in multiple ways, those lessons are referred to more than once in the chart. Boldfaced skill lessons are connected to Readiness TEKS.

1 Diagnostic Mark a ✓ in the box beside each question that you answered correctly. Find the total correct.2 Review Study the skill lesson and practice associated with each question not checked.3 Post Test Mark a ✓ in the box beside each question that you answered correctly. Find the total correct. Refer

back to the skill lesson for additional practice. (The Post Test questions are in the exact same order as those in the Diagnostic Test.)

REVISION: PERSUASIVEQuestion 1 2 Review: Skill Lesson 3 TEKS

1 Revising a Thesis or Position Statement (p. 10) E1.16A

2 Combining Sentences (p. 16) E1.13C

3 Improving Clarity (p. 25) E1.13C



6 Revising for Coherence (p. 21) E1.16D

Total / 6 Total / 6

REVISION: EXPOSITORYQuestion 1 2 Review: Skill Lesson 3 TEKS


8 Adding Supporting Details (p. 13) E1.15A

9 Improving Transitions (p. 19) E1.13C, E1.15A


11 Revising for Coherence (p. 21) E1.15A

Total / 5 Total / 5

EDITINGQuestion 1 2 Review: Skill Lesson 3 TEKS

1 Using Correct Capitalization (p. 61) E1.18A

2 Using Commas Correctly (p. 63) E1.18B

3 Using Verbs Correctly (p. 67) E1.17A

4 Using Pronouns Correctly (p. 65) E1.13D

5 Using Correct Sentence Structure (p. 74) E1.17C

6 Choosing Correct Spellings (p. 72) E1.13D, E1.19A

7 Making Verbs Agree with Subjects (p. 70) E1.13D

Total / 7 Total / 7

STEP 2 Focus Remediation — STAAR Instruction and PracticeUse your Diagnostic results to focus TEKS instruction and STAAR practice to meet your unique needs.

22 English I EOC Writing ■ Revision

Revision Skill 5Revising for Coherence

The coherence of a paper refers to how well the paper is organized and how well the ideas and details in each paragraph fit together and flow. On the STAAR test, you will be asked to revise paragraphs to make them more coherent by replacing sentences or inserting sentences into a paragraph.

Typically, STAAR questions about revising for coherence focus on

• transitions between paragraphs• clearer or more effective introductions and conclusions• adding relevant details to paragraphs

STAAR StrategyThe excerpt and question below are from a previous STAAR test. They are based on Leah’s essay asking for longer lunch periods. Read the item and work through the steps that follow to learn how to answer questions like this one.

1 Read the paragraph and the item. Look at the sentence that is going to be added, and think about what idea or detail it will bring to the paragraph.

2 Re-read the paragraph. Ask yourself, does this new sentence explain a more general idea in the paragraph? Does it provide a link between one idea and another? If you answer yes to either question, identify the sentence(s) that the new sentence explains or connects.

(E1.15A, E1.16D)

(6) When students are rushed, they are more likely to make unhealthy choices.

(7) According to a 2008 study published in the Journal of School Health, diet quality is

associated with academic performance. (8) In other words, eating an unhealthy lunch

could negatively affect how well a student does in school. (9) Giving students more

time to select and enjoy a healthy meal would therefore boost grades.

Leah wants to add the following idea to the paragraph.

Some resort to the faster à la carte line to grab chips and a drink; others skip lunch altogether.

Re-read the paragraph carefully. Where is the most effective place to add this sentence?

F After sentence 6

G After sentence 7

H After sentence 8

J After sentence 9 STAAR English I, 2013, #2

65

Editing Skill 3

Editing Skill ■ Pronouns

Using Pronouns CorrectlyA pronoun is a word used in place of a noun or more than one noun. The word that a pronoun stands for is called its antecedent. Antecedent means “the thing before,” and refers to the noun or proper noun that the pronoun refers to. You might see an item on the STAAR test that requires you to fix agreement between pronouns and antecedents.

Pronoun-Antecedent AgreementUse a singular pronoun to refer to a singular antecedent. Use a plural pronoun to refer to a plural antecedent. Also make sure a pronoun agrees with its antecedent in gender.

Mr. Romero is a good coach, and he has helped his players build better skills.

Two soccer matches are scheduled on Saturday. They will be canceled if it rains.

Skill Check For each sentence below, draw a box around the antecedent and then underline the correct pronoun inside the parentheses.

1. The two bald eagles add more material to (its, their) nest each year.

2. Richard has worked hard to earn (his, their) position as head of the debate team.

3. Neither girl would admit (her, their) role in the practical joke.

Agreement with Compound AntecedentsFor two or more singular antecedents joined by or or nor, use a singular pronoun. For two or more antecedents joined by and, use a plural pronoun.

SINGULAR: Either Marisa or Angela left her jacket on the floor.

PLURAL: Pablo and Jackie rode their bicycles to the lake.

Skill CheckFor each sentence below, draw a box around the word joining the antecedents, and then underline the correct pronoun inside the parentheses.

4. The singer and the band performed (its, their) songs beautifully.

5. Neither Scott nor Eduardo wanted to add (his, their) name to the petition.

6. If Lisa or Madeline needs a ride, tell (her, them) my mother can drive.

(E1.13D)

singular masculine pronounssingular antecedent

plural antecedent plural pronoun

plural pronoun

singular pronounjoining word is or

joining word is and

3 What is the most effective way to revise sentence 7? (E1.13C)

A This water, called seepage, wears down the limestone and eventually forms the caves.

B This water, called seepage, wears down the limestone, and eventually the water it forms the caves.

C Seepage is what the water is called that wears down the limestone and eventually forms the caves.

D Seepage, which is what this water is called, wears down the limestone and eventually by the water doing this it forms the caves.

Revision PracticeRevision 4


Miguel wrote this paper in response to a class assignment. Read Miguel’s paper and think about the revisions he needs to make. Then answer the questions that follow.

Phot

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Lar

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Texas’ Oldest Hangout

(1) Today people meet in buildings, such as coffee houses and offices. (2) But long

before office buildings were built, people still needed a place to meet that was secret, safe,

and also had a sense of importance or mystery. (3) Longhorn Cavern State Park in Burnet,

Texas, is just such a place.

(4) Texas is home to many caves and caverns. (5) For example, Longhorn Cavern,

STEP 3 Monitor Your Progress — Post TestsUse the Editing and Revision Post Tests to monitor progress and to identify additional lessons for review.

How to Use This Book for STAAR Success

Each item correlates to a TEKS and Skill lesson

TEKS

Independent Practice

Editing Post Test


Deanna saw some vintage footage of a famous band performing onstage. She wrote this paper to tell about their style of music and how it came about. Read Deanna’s paper and think about the revisions she needs to make. Then answer the questions that follow.

TEKS

Diagnostic Tests for revision and editing

Practice mirrors released STAAR tests6 Revision

Skill Lessons

8 Editing Skill Lessonsxii Student Progress Monitoring Chart

Student Progress Monitoring Chart—How Am I Doing?Use the Diagnostic Tests to identify skill lessons you need to review. Use the steps below to monitor your progress. Because some skill lessons cover a broad standard or are assessed in multiple ways, those lessons are referred to more than once in the chart. Boldfaced skill lessons are connected to Readiness TEKS.










Total / 6 Total / 6




9 Improving Transitions (p. 19) E1.13C, E1.15A



Total / 5 Total / 5


1 Using Correct Capitalization (p. 61) E1.18A

2 Using Commas Correctly (p. 63) E1.18B

3 Using Verbs Correctly (p. 67) E1.17A

4 Using Pronouns Correctly (p. 65) E1.13D

5 Using Correct Sentence Structure (p. 74) E1.17C

6 Choosing Correct Spellings (p. 72) E1.13D, E1.19A

7 Making Verbs Agree with Subjects (p. 70) E1.13D

Total / 7 Total / 7

✓✓

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✓

✓

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Focus on skills you need most

Monitor your progress

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viii English I EOC Writing

How to Use This Book for STAAR SuccessFocused Remediation is provided by 14 skill lessons and 16 practice passages with questions based on released STAAR items .

Revision Skills6 Revision Skill lessons analyze released test items and model a 3-step STAAR Strategy that students learn and then apply in Guided Practice.









(E1.15A, E1.16D)









F After sentence 6

G After sentence 7

H After sentence 8


Think About Your Thinking In the chart below, evaluate each answer choice based on what you have learned about revising for coherence. One evaluation has been completed for you.

Answer Choices

EvaluationIs the

Answer Correct?

FThe new sentence seems to be about decorating. The paragraph isn’t all about decorating; only the second half is. The new sentence probably goes closer to the end.

no

G

3 Go through the answer choices, and try the new sentence in each spot. If the location is not close to the sentence(s) you identifi ed in step 2, cross it out. Choose the answer that gives the most logical spot for the new sentence.

F After sentence 6

G After sentence 7

H After sentence 8

J After sentence 9

Guided PracticeRead this paragraph and question from a previous STAAR test. Answer the question using what you have learned about revising for coherence. The paragraph is from Katy’s essay about a couple who live in an old school bus named Rosie.

(15) A few months later the bus was ready, and the newlyweds were preparing to

move in. (16) They were pleased that their new home had a living area, a bedroom,

and a small kitchen, complete with running water and a propane stove. (17) But Mike

and Natalie weren’t finished yet. (18) They wanted Rosie to feel like a home rather than

a recreational vehicle. (19) They carefully selected artwork to display in the foyer, or

entrance, of the bus. (20) They added potted plants and rugs. (21) Wooden furniture

was topped with photos, books, and lamps. (22) Mike explained, “We choose the few

things that have the most impact, that mean the most to us.”

Katy realizes that she left the following detail out of the paragraph.

While the Youngs had fun decorating their new home, they knew they had to be wise about what they brought into such a small space.

Where is the most effective place to insert this sentence?

A At the beginning of the paragraph

The details in the new sentence don’t fl ow from the idea in sentence 7, about the relationship between diet quality and academic performance.

The details in the new sentence don’t fl ow from the ideas in sentence 9. Sentence 9 actually sums up the whole paragraph.

Sentence 6 mentions unhealthy choices without being specifi c. The new sentence gives specifi c examples of unhealthy choices. Answer F is correct.

The details in the new sentence don’t explain the idea in sentence 8. In fact, sentence 8 explains sentence 7.

Editing Skills7 Editing Skill lessons provide instruction and practice in the grammar, usage, and punctuation rules and conventions that are tested. The 8th skill lesson gives students a strategy for answering STAAR editing questions.

65

Editing Skill 3

















(E1.13D)



plural pronoun


joining word is and

66 English I EOC Writing ■ Editing

Agreement with Indefinite PronounsAn indefinite pronoun does not refer to a specific place or thing. Some indefinite pronouns are singular, and some are plural. Some can be either singular or plural, depending on their meaning in a sentence.

Each of the boys thinks he can help paint the garage.

Both of the kittens are sleeping on their backs.

Most of her artwork sells quickly because it appeals to many buyers.

Most of her paintings are small; they can fit on almost any wall.

Skill CheckFor each sentence below, draw a box around the indefinite pronoun and then underline the correct pronoun inside the parentheses.

7. Someone from the girls’ tennis team left (her, their) racket on the court.

8. Many of the volunteers stayed at (his, their) posts through the night.

9. Some of the people invited to the party sent (his or her, their) regrets.

Mixed PracticeFor each sentence below, draw a box around the antecedent, the word joining compound antecedents, or the indefinite pronoun. Then, underline the correct pronoun in parentheses.

1. Harry and Brad both enjoy spending (his, their) time at the animal shelter.

2. Everyone on the girls’ basketball team played (her, their) best in the big game.

3. Most of the cottages still have snow on (its, their) windowsills.

4. One of the hamsters has escaped from (its, their) cage.

5. None of the guests knew where (his or her, their) host was.

6. Carmen and Mona said (she, they) liked the idea of trying out for soccer.

7. If Lily or Debra arrives soon, please ask (her, them) to help set up the tables.

8. Several of the floral designers have won awards for (his or her, their) flowers.

9. The servers and manager worked hard because (he or she, they) wanted the customers to be happy.

10. We trimmed the lower branches so that we would stop bumping our heads on (it, them).

pluralplural indefinite pronoun

singular, refers to “artwork” as one whole thing

plural, refers to “paintings”

singular indefinite pronoun

singular

TEKS

TEKS

Revision Skills use released STAAR items

Varied activity types give students the most helpful form of practice

Mixed practice of the entire rule or convention

Step-by-step test-taking strategies

Show your thinking

Guided Practice

Focused practice of specific rules or conventions tested on released STAAR tests

8 Editing Skill Lessons

6 Revision Skill Lessons

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© Sirius Education Solutions

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ix

How to Use This Book for STAAR SuccessRevision and Editing Practice16 passages offer authentic STAAR practice using grade-appropriate selections and test questions that closely match released STAAR tests.


Revision Practice Revision 4



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Texas’s Oldest Hangout






which is at least 450 million years old, was formed in a different manner from the others.

(6) Most Texas caverns are created by water dripping through limestone over millions of

years. (7) This water, called seepage, wears down the limestone and eventually by the

water doing this it forms the caves. (8) In the case of Longhorn Cavern, the seepage that

formed earlier caves in the area became an underground river, and that river carved the

cavern, out of the limestone. (9) Longhorn Cavern is one of the few river-carved caverns in

the United States, and the only such cave in Texas.

A Cave with Many Occupants(10) Things excavated from the cavern show that it was home to many Ice Age

animals. (11) The cave has also been occupied by groups of people throughout the years.

(12) The largest room in the cavern is called the “Indian Council Room.” (13) About 400

years ago Comanche tribal leaders used it as a meeting place. (14) Not only was the cavern

used as a meeting place by the Comanche, but it was also used by the Confederate Army

as a secret place to hide and manufacture weapons during the Civil War. (15) The soldiers

collected bat guano from the cavern, turned it into gunpowder, and hid it there for use

against the Union Army.

An Outlaw Hideout(16) Criminals used the cave. (17) Rumor has it, that the notorious criminal Sam Bass

used it as a place to hide out from the law. (18) In fact, the entrance to the cave is called

the “Sam Bass Entrance.” (19) During Prohibition, the cavern was used as a speakeasy, a

place to serve illegal alcohol. (20) The state turned it into a park, and today, the cavern is

used for legal gatherings, like weddings and private parties. (21) The park also sponsors

a twice-monthly concert series called “Simple Sounds,” where visitors can hear live music

enhanced by the amazing acoustics of the cavern.

(22) The interesting way that way Longhorn Cavern was formed, along with its exciting

and varied history, makes it one of the most important natural landmarks in Texas. (23) In

fact, Longhorn Cavern was named a National Natural Landmark in 1971.






Composition Skills and Practice5 Composition Skill lessons provide step-by-step writing instruction that focuses on the essential components of the expository composition. 10 practice prompts provide ample scaffolded practice of the writing skills students have learned.

106 English I EOC Writing ■ Composition

Composition Skill 2Drafting the Thesis

In an essay, the thesis statement, or thesis, states the topic and the writer’s main idea about the topic. It should directly respond to the question or direction in the prompt. It should also clearly tell your reader the controlling idea or topic of your essay. For the STAAR test, this means making a claim that can be supported and argued.

STAAR StrategyYour thesis should respond to the prompt directly and make a thorough claim that can be argued with reasons and examples. Read this prompt from the 2014 STAAR test.

Here is a working thesis for the prompt.

Failure can indeed strengthen a person.

This thesis does respond to the prompt directly. However, it is not a detailed claim, and it is unclear what the writer intends to argue in the essay. Here is a revision of the thesis.

Failure strengthens people because it reveals weaknesses that need improvement and motivates people to try harder.

This thesis is more specific. It points out the way that the writer believes failure builds strength. It directly responds to the prompt and makes a specific claim that can be argued. A good thesis will include a “because” type of explanation of the issue.

It is good to think about your thesis as a working thesis and not the final thesis for the essay. As you plan and draft your composition, you may need to revise the thesis slightly to better fit your thoughts. It is much easier to revise your thesis to better fit your essay than to revise your whole essay to fit your thesis.

WRITTEN COMPOSITION: Expository

Read the following quotation.

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in getting up each time you fall.

—Nelson Mandela

Think carefully about the following question.

Can failure make you stronger?

Write an essay explaining whether failure can strengthen a person. STAAR English I, 2014

115 Composition ■ Practice

Prompt 1Composition

Practice

Brainstorm IdeasWrite down any thoughts and ideas you have in response to the prompt. Don’t worry about writing complete sentences. And don’t judge your ideas—yet. After you think of a few ideas, read through them and look for one that answers the prompt, makes an argument or claim, and is an idea you think you can develop into a full essay.


Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.

—Carl Sagan


What role does imagination play in life?

Write an essay explaining the role imagination has in a person’s life.

Be sure to —• clearly state your thesis• organize and develop your ideas effectively• choose your words carefully• edit your writing for grammar, mechanics, and spelling

How to Use This Book for STAAR Success

Step-by-step Guided Practice

7 editing and 9 revision passages

Prompts match STAAR format and themes

Skills cover what graders evaluate

84 questions match the released STAAR test in content and format

Pre- and post- writing activities provide step-by-step support

TEKS

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xii Student Progress Monitoring Chart

Student Progress Monitoring Chart—How Am I Doing?Use the Diagnostic Tests to identify skill lessons you need to review. Use the steps below to monitor your progress. Because some skill lessons cover a broad standard or are assessed in multiple ways, those lessons are referred to more than once in the chart. Boldfaced skill lessons are connected to Readiness TEKS .





2 Combining Sentences (p. 16) E1 .13C

3 Improving Clarity (p. 25) E1 .13C




Total / 6 Total / 6




9 Improving Transitions (p. 19) E1 .13C, E1 .15A

10 Combining Sentences (p. 16) E1 .13C


Total / 5 Total / 5


1 Using Correct Capitalization (p. 61) E1 .18A

2 Using Commas Correctly (p. 63) E1 .18B

3 Using Verbs Correctly (p. 67) E1 .17A

4 Using Pronouns Correctly (p. 65) E1 .13D

5 Using Correct Sentence Structure (p. 74) E1 .17C

6 Choosing Correct Spellings (p. 72) E1 .13D, E1 .19A

7 Making Verbs Agree with Subjects (p. 70) E1 .13D

Total / 7 Total / 7

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(E1.15A, E1.16D)









F After sentence 6

G After sentence 7

H After sentence 8


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23 Revision Skill ■ Coherence

3 Go through the answer choices, and try the new sentence in each spot. If the location is not close to the sentence(s) you identified in step 2, cross it out. Choose the answer that gives the most logical spot for the new sentence.

F After sentence 6

G After sentence 7

H After sentence 8

J After sentence 9

Guided PracticeRead this paragraph and question from a previous STAAR test. Answer the question using what you have learned about revising for coherence. The paragraph is from Katy’s essay about a couple who live in an old school bus named Rosie.

(15) A few months later the bus was ready, and the newlyweds were preparing to

move in. (16) They were pleased that their new home had a living area, a bedroom,

and a small kitchen, complete with running water and a propane stove. (17) But Mike

and Natalie weren’t finished yet. (18) They wanted Rosie to feel like a home rather than

a recreational vehicle. (19) They carefully selected artwork to display in the foyer, or

entrance, of the bus. (20) They added potted plants and rugs. (21) Wooden furniture

was topped with photos, books, and lamps. (22) Mike explained, “We choose the few

things that have the most impact, that mean the most to us.”

Katy realizes that she left the following detail out of the paragraph.

While the Youngs had fun decorating their new home, they knew they had to be wise about what they brought into such a small space.

Where is the most effective place to insert this sentence?

A At the beginning of the paragraph

B After sentence 21

C After sentence 22

D This sentence is not relevant to the main idea of the paragraph and should not be inserted. STAAR English I, 2014, #9

The details in the new sentence don’t flow from the idea in sentence 7, about the relationship between diet quality and academic performance.

The details in the new sentence don’t flow from the ideas in sentence 9. Sentence 9 actually sums up the whole paragraph.

Sentence 6 mentions unhealthy choices without being specific. The new sentence gives specific examples of unhealthy choices. Answer F is correct.

The details in the new sentence don’t explain the idea in sentence 8. In fact, sentence 8 explains sentence 7.

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Think About Your Thinking

In the chart below, evaluate each answer choice based on what you have learned about revising for coherence. One evaluation has been completed for you.

Answer Choices

EvaluationIs Answer Correct?

AThe new sentence seems to be about decorating. The paragraph isn’t all about decorating; only the second half is. The new sentence probably goes closer to the end.

no

B

C

D

Independent PracticeYou will have the opportunity to practice revising for coherence in Revision Practice 1 and 3.

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Revision Practice Revision 4



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oore

Texas’s Oldest Hangout






which is at least 450 million years old, was formed in a different manner from the others.

(6) Most Texas caverns are created by water dripping through limestone over millions of

years. (7) This water, called seepage, wears down the limestone and eventually by the

water doing this it forms the caves. (8) In the case of Longhorn Cavern, the seepage that

formed earlier caves in the area became an underground river, and that river carved the

cavern, out of the limestone. (9) Longhorn Cavern is one of the few river-carved caverns in

the United States, and the only such cave in Texas.

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41 Revision ■ Practice

A Cave with Many Occupants(10) Things excavated from the cavern show that it was home to many Ice Age

animals. (11) The cave has also been occupied by groups of people throughout the years.

(12) The largest room in the cavern is called the “Indian Council Room.” (13) About 400

years ago Comanche tribal leaders used it as a meeting place. (14) Not only was the cavern

used as a meeting place by the Comanche, but it was also used by the Confederate Army

as a secret place to hide and manufacture weapons during the Civil War. (15) The soldiers

collected bat guano from the cavern, turned it into gunpowder, and hid it there for use

against the Union Army.

An Outlaw Hideout(16) Criminals used the cave. (17) Rumor has it that the notorious criminal Sam Bass

used it as a place to hide out from the law. (18) In fact, the entrance to the cave is called

the “Sam Bass Entrance.” (19) During Prohibition, the cavern was used as a speakeasy, a

place to serve illegal alcohol. (20) The state turned it into a park, and today, the cavern is

used for legal gatherings, like weddings and private parties. (21) The park also sponsors

a twice-monthly concert series called “Simple Sounds,” where visitors can hear live music

enhanced by the amazing acoustics of the cavern.

(22) The interesting way that Longhorn Cavern was formed, along with its exciting and

varied history, makes it one of the most important natural landmarks in Texas. (23) In fact,

Longhorn Cavern was named a National Natural Landmark in 1971.

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1 Miguel wants to write a thesis statement that accurately conveys the main idea of his paper. Which of the following should he add after sentence 3? (E1.15A)

A Cave enthusiasts from all over love to visit Longhorn Cavern and emjoy its beauty.

B The cavern is a natural wonder that has been used by animals and people for millions of years.

C Who wouldn’t want to see such an important natural wonder?

D It was even readied for use as a nuclear fallout shelter for when President Johnson visited Texas.

2 Miguel would like to use a more appropriate transition in sentence 5. Which of the following best replaces For example? (E1.13C)

F Therefore

G First

H However

J Additionally






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43 Revision ■ Practice

4 Miguel wants to use a more appropriate word than Things in sentence 10. Which of these could best replace the word Things? (E1.13C)

F Items

G Weapons

H Fossils

J Landmarks

5 What is the most effective way to combine sentences 12 and 13? (E1.13C)

A The largest room in the cavern is called the “Indian Council Room,” and because about 400 years ago Comanche tribal leaders used it as a meeting place.

B The largest room in the cavern is called the “Indian Council Room, because about 400 years ago Comanche tribal leaders used it as a meeting place.

C The largest room in the cavern is called the “Indian Council Room,” about 400 years ago Comanche tribal leaders used it as a meeting place.

D The largest room in the cavern is called the “Indian Council Room”; however, about 400 years ago Comanche tribal leaders used it as a meeting place.

6 Miguel’s transition from the third paragraph (sentences 10–15) to the fourth paragraph (sentences 16–21) is weak. Which of the following could best replace sentence 16 and provide a more effective transition between these two paragraphs? (E1.15A)

F Other people used the cave, too.

G Now the public may visit the cave and view its beauty.

H The cave was the perfect place to hide from the Union army.

J The cave was also used for a variety of illegal purposes.

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65

Editing Skill 3

















(E1.13D)



plural pronoun


joining word is and

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Agreement with Indefinite PronounsAn indefinite pronoun does not refer to a specific place or thing. Some indefinite pronouns are singular, and some are plural. Some can be either singular or plural, depending on their meaning in a sentence.

Each of the boys thinks he can help paint the garage.

Both of the kittens are sleeping on their backs.

Most of her artwork sells quickly because it appeals to many buyers.

Most of her paintings are small; they can fit on almost any wall.

Skill CheckFor each sentence below, draw a box around the indefinite pronoun and then underline the correct pronoun inside the parentheses.

7. Someone from the girls’ tennis team left (her, their) racket on the court.

8. Many of the volunteers stayed at (his, their) posts through the night.

9. Some of the people invited to the party sent (his or her, their) regrets.

Mixed PracticeFor each sentence below, draw a box around the antecedent, the word joining compound antecedents, or the indefinite pronoun. Then, underline the correct pronoun in parentheses.

1. Harry and Brad both enjoy spending (his, their) time at the animal shelter.

2. Everyone on the girls’ basketball team played (her, their) best in the big game.

3. Most of the cottages still have snow on (its, their) windowsills.

4. One of the hamsters has escaped from (its, their) cage.

5. None of the guests knew where (his or her, their) host was.

6. Carmen and Mona said (she, they) liked the idea of trying out for soccer.

7. If Lily or Debra arrives soon, please ask (her, them) to help set up the tables.

8. Several of the floral designers have won awards for (his or her, their) flowers.

9. The servers and manager worked hard because (he or she, they) wanted the customers to be happy.

10. We trimmed the lower branches so that we would stop bumping our heads on (it, them).

pluralplural indefinite pronoun

singular, refers to “artwork” as one whole thing

plural, refers to “paintings”

singular indefinite pronoun

singular

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79 Editing ■ Practice

Editing 1Editing Practice


Gabriel wrote this paper to tell about a personal experience that turned out different than he expected. Read Gabriel’s paper and look for the corrections he needs to make. Then answer the questions that follow.

Trial and Error

(1) On the morning of our first agility trial, as we made the long drive to the

fairgrounds, I sat in the backseat with Gidget, petting her and remembering all the time

we have spent preparing for this day. (2) I had read that Shetland sheepdogs excel at dog

agility, so as soon as Gidget was old enough, I signed us up for a class. (3) We practiced

three times a week, and although it was hard work sometimes, I enjoyed learning with her.

(4) Sometimes, when we were learning a new obstacle, she would behave timid at first.

(5) The collapsed tunnel and the teeter-totter both made her especially nervous, but I was

patient with the training, and eventually she was zipping through that tunnel and cruising

over that teeter-totter with ease.

(6) Now we were on our way to our first competition. (7) After so many months of

training, I wanted to at least place in our class. (8) I imagined all the other competitors

raving about Gidget’s skill and speed on the course, and my amazing handling abilitys. (9) I

envisioned us going home with a big ribbon, which I would display next to her dog bed for

all our friends to admire.

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(10) When we arrived at the fairgrounds, my dad settled Gidget into her crate while

I looked at the course map and listened to the judge’s briefing. (11) Then I did my walk-

through, the course seemed challenging, but I studied it carefully and was totally focused

on my handling strategy. (12) “We can do this,” I whispered to myself as we waited for our

turn.

(13) Apparently, I had been so focused on learning the course that I didn’t notice how

nervous and distracted Gidget was in the unfamiliar surroundings. (14) The first few jumps

went fine, as did the A-frame and even the teeter-totter. (15) When we got to the tunnel,

however, Gidget stopped in her tracks and refused to go in. (16) I tried resorting to our

training steps, but the judge instructed me to continue passed the obstacle.

(17) Needless to say, we did not bring home a ribbon. (18) “Refusals,” as they are

called are faulted heavily, and we also lost points for coming in eight seconds over the

SCT, or standard course time. (19) Dad tried to console me. (20) “This was your first time,”

he said. (21) “You’ll do much better next time, now that you know how Gidget reacts in a

competition environment.” (22) But I was inconsolable. (23) I told my dad I would never try

this again. (24) Then I looked down at Gidget’s face, and I saw that she was beaming! (25)

She was not disappointed; she was excited and happy! (26) At that moment I knew that

agility was a great activity for Gidget and me, not because we might be champions at it, but

because it kept us both mentally and physically active. (27) It also would bring us closer

together with each new experience. (28) Yes, we’ll keep going to competitions, and we’ll

keep getting better. (29) But as far as I’m concerned, the ribbons can wait.

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81 Editing ■ Practice

1 What change should be made in sentence 1? (E1.17A)

A Change morning to Morning

B Change sat to set

C Change have spent to had spent

D Insert a comma after preparing

2 What change is needed in sentence 4? (E1.13D)

F Change Sometimes to Sometime

G Change were learning to will have learned

H Change timid to timidly

J Change at first to firstly

3 What change is needed in sentence 8? (E1.19A)

A Change imagined to imagining

B Change Gidget’s to Gidgets

C Change course to coarse

D Change abilitys to abilities

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4 What is the correct way to write sentence 11? (E1.17C)

F Then I did my walk-through. The course seemed challenging, but I studied it carefully and was totally focused on my handling strategy.

G Then I did my walk-through, and although the course seemed challenging. I studied it carefully and was totally focused on my handling strategy.

H Then I did my walk-through, and the course seemed challenging. Even though I studied it carefully and was totally focused on my handling strategy.

J Then I did my walk-through, the course seemed challenging. I studied it carefully and was totally focused on my handling strategy.

5 What change needs to be made in sentence 16? (E1.13D

A Change resorting to resortting

B Change the comma to a semicolon

C Change instructed to instructs

D Change passed to past

6 What change should be made in sentence 18? (E1.18B)

F Add a comma after called

G Change heavily to heavy

H Delete and

J Change coming to comeing

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Composition Skill 2Drafting the Thesis

In an essay, the thesis statement, or thesis, states the topic and the writer’s main idea about the topic. It should directly respond to the question or direction in the prompt. It should also clearly tell your reader the controlling idea or topic of your essay. For the STAAR test, this means making a claim that can be supported and argued.

STAAR StrategyYour thesis should respond to the prompt directly and make a thorough claim that can be argued with reasons and examples. Read this prompt from the 2014 STAAR test.

Here is a working thesis for the prompt.

Failure can indeed strengthen a person.

This thesis does respond to the prompt directly. However, it is not a detailed claim, and it is unclear what the writer intends to argue in the essay. Here is a revision of the thesis.

Failure strengthens people because it reveals weaknesses that need improvement and motivates people to try harder.

This thesis is more specific. It points out the way that the writer believes failure builds strength. It directly responds to the prompt and makes a specific claim that can be argued. A good thesis will include a “because” type of explanation of the issue.

It is good to think about your thesis as a working thesis and not the final thesis for the essay. As you plan and draft your composition, you may need to revise the thesis slightly to better fit your thoughts. It is much easier to revise your thesis to better fit your essay than to revise your whole essay to fit your thesis.

WRITTEN COMPOSITION: Expository


The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in getting up each time you fall.

—Nelson Mandela


Can failure make you stronger?

Write an essay explaining whether failure can strengthen a person. STAAR English I, 2014

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107 Composition Skill ■ Thesis

Guided PracticeRead this prompt from the 2013 STAAR test.

Improving a Thesis Statement Now read each thesis statement below and think about how it could be improved to respond better to the prompt, be more detailed, or both.

Write a revised thesis on the lines below each thesis statement.

1. Thesis: It is often necessary to take risks, from big to small, in life.

2. Thesis: Mistakes are important because they show people what they have left to learn.

3. Thesis: We can never know if our decisions will turn out to benefit or harm us.


Take risks. Ask big questions. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; if you don’t make mistakes, you’re not reaching far enough.

—David Packard, co-founder of Hewlett-Packard

Taking risks means not knowing whether the outcome will be good. Think carefully about this statement.

Write an essay explaining why it is sometimes necessary to take a chance. STAAR English I, 2013

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Prompt 1Composition

Practice

Brainstorm IdeasWrite down any thoughts and ideas you have in response to the prompt. Don’t worry about writing complete sentences. And don’t judge your ideas—yet. After you think of a few ideas, read through them and look for one that answers the prompt, makes an argument or claim, and is an idea you think you can develop into a full essay.


Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.

—Carl Sagan


What role does imagination play in life?

Write an essay explaining the role imagination has in a person’s life.

Be sure to —• clearly state your thesis• organize and develop your ideas effectively• choose your words carefully• edit your writing for grammar, mechanics, and spelling

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Organizing Your Ideas and Examples Use this chart to organize and develop ideas and examples for your essay.

Thesis: Paragraph 1

INTRODUCTION

Controlling Idea: Paragraph 2

Example:

Explanation:

BODY

TRANSITION

Controlling Idea: Paragraph 3 (optional)

Example:

Explanation:

BODY

TRANSITION

Controlling Idea: Paragraph 4 (optional)

Example:

Explanation:

BODY

Restate Thesis: Final Paragraph

CONCLUSION

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Write your essay in the box below. Do not add lines inside the box or write outside the box.

Check to make sure your essay has a clear thesis statement in each body paragraph, a controlling idea that supports the thesis in each body paragraph, examples and evidence supporting the paragraph’s controlling idea transitions between your ideas a concluding paragraph or thought

Sampler

23

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wer

e pr

epar

ing

to

mov

e in

. (1

6) T

hey

wer

e pl

ease

d th

at t

heir n

ew h

ome

had

a liv

ing

area

, a

bedr

oom

,

and

a sm

all k

itche

n, c

ompl

ete

with

run

ning

wat

er a

nd a

pro

pane

sto

ve.

(17)

But

Mik

e

and

Nat

alie

wer

en’t f

inis

hed

yet.

(18

) Th

ey w

ante

d Ros

ie t

o fe

el li

ke a

hom

e ra

ther

tha

n

a re

crea

tiona

l veh

icle

. (1

9) T

hey

care

fully

sel

ecte

d ar

twor

k to

dis

play

in t

he f

oyer

, or

entr

ance

, of

the

bus

. (2

0) T

hey

adde

d po

tted

pla

nts

and

rugs

. (2

1) W

oode

n fu

rnitu

re

was

top

ped

with

pho

tos,

boo

ks,

and

lam

ps.

(22)

Mik

e ex

plai

ned,

“W

e ch

oose

the

few

thin

gs t

hat

have

the

mos

t im

pact

, th

at m

ean

the

mos

t to

us.

”

Kat

y re

aliz

es t

hat

she

left

the

fol

low

ing

deta

il ou

t of

the

par

agra

ph.

Whi

le t

he Y

oung

s ha

d fu

n de

cora

ting

thei

r ne

w h

ome,

the

y kn

ew t

hey

had

to b

e w

ise

abou

t w

hat

they

bro

ught

into

suc

h a

smal

l spa

ce.

Whe

re is

the

mos

t ef

fect

ive

plac

e to

inse

rt t

his

sent

ence

?

A

At

the

begi

nnin

g of

the

par

agra

ph

B

Aft

er s

ente

nce

21

C

Aft

er s

ente

nce

22

D

This

sen

tenc

e is

not

rel

evan

t to

the

mai

n id

ea o

f th

e pa

ragr

aph

an

d sh

ould

not

be

inse

rted

. ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

I, 2

014,

#9

The

deta

ils in

the

new

sen

tenc

e do

n’t

flow

from

the

idea

in s

ente

nce

7, a

bout

th

e re

latio

nshi

p be

twee

n di

et q

ualit

y an

d ac

adem

ic pe

rform

ance

.

The

deta

ils in

the

new

sen

tenc

e do

n’t fl

ow

from

the

idea

s in

sen

tenc

e 9.

Sen

tenc

e 9

actu

ally

sum

s up

the

who

le p

arag

raph

.

Sent

ence

6 m

entio

ns u

nhea

lthy

choi

ces

with

out b

eing

spe

cific

. The

new

sen

tenc

e gi

ves

spec

ific

exam

ples

of u

nhea

lthy

choi

ces.

Ans

wer

F is

cor

rect

.

The

deta

ils in

the

new

sen

tenc

e do

n’t

expl

ain

the

idea

in s

ente

nce

8. In

fact

, se

nten

ce 8

exp

lain

s se

nten

ce 7

.

22E

ng

lish

I E

OC

Wri

tin

g ■

Rev

isio

n

Rev

isio

n Sk

ill 5

Revis

ing f

or

Cohere

nce

The

coh

eren

ce o

f a

pap

er r

efer

s to

ho

w w

ell t

he

pap

er is

org

aniz

ed a

nd

ho

w w

ell t

he

idea

s an

d d

etai

ls in

eac

h p

arag

rap

h fi

t to

get

her

an

d fl

ow

. On

th

e ST

AA

R t

est,

yo

u w

ill

be

aske

d t

o r

evis

e p

arag

rap

hs

to m

ake

them

mo

re c

oh

eren

t b

y re

pla

cin

g s

ente

nce

s o

r in

sert

ing

sen

ten

ces

into

a p

arag

rap

h.

Typ

ical

ly, S

TAA

R q

ues

tio

ns

abo

ut

revi

sin

g f

or

coh

eren

ce f

ocu

s o

n

• tr

ansi

tio

ns

bet

wee

n p

arag

rap

hs

• cl

eare

r o

r m

ore

eff

ecti

ve in

tro

du

ctio

ns

and

co

ncl

usi

on

s•

add

ing

rel

evan

t d

etai

ls t

o p

arag

rap

hs

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

The

exce

rpt

and

qu

esti

on

bel

ow

are

fro

m a

pre

vio

us

STA

AR

tes

t. T

hey

are

bas

ed o

n

Leah

’s e

ssay

ask

ing

fo

r lo

ng

er lu

nch

per

iod

s. R

ead

th

e it

em a

nd

wo

rk t

hro

ug

h t

he

step

s th

at f

ollo

w t

o le

arn

ho

w t

o a

nsw

er q

ues

tio

ns

like

this

on

e.

1 R

ead

th

e p

arag

rap

h a

nd

th

e it

em. L

oo

k at

th

e se

nte

nce

th

at is

go

ing

to

be

add

ed,

and

th

ink

abo

ut

wh

at id

ea o

r d

etai

l it

will

bri

ng

to

th

e p

arag

rap

h.

2 R

e-re

ad t

he

par

agra

ph

. Ask

yo

urs

elf,

do

es t

his

new

sen

ten

ce e

xpla

in a

mo

re

gen

eral

idea

in t

he

par

agra

ph?

Do

es it

pro

vid

e a

link

bet

wee

n o

ne

idea

an

d

ano

ther

? If

yo

u a

nsw

er y

es t

o e

ith

er q

ues

tio

n, i

den

tify

th

e se

nte

nce

(s)

that

th

e n

ew

sen

ten

ce e

xpla

ins

or

con

nec

ts.

(E1.1

5A, E

1.16D

)

(6)

Whe

n st

uden

ts a

re r

ushe

d, t

hey

are

mor

e lik

ely

to m

ake

unhe

alth

y ch

oice

s.

(7)

Acc

ordi

ng t

o a

2008

stu

dy p

ublis

hed

in t

he J

ourn

al o

f Sch

ool H

ealth

, di

et q

ualit

y is

asso

ciat

ed w

ith a

cade

mic

per

form

ance

. (8

) In

oth

er w

ords

, ea

ting

an u

nhea

lthy

lunc

h

coul

d ne

gativ

ely

affe

ct h

ow w

ell a

stu

dent

doe

s in

sch

ool.

(9)

Giv

ing

stud

ents

mor

e

time

to s

elec

t an

d en

joy

a he

alth

y m

eal w

ould

the

refo

re b

oost

gra

des.

Leah

wan

ts t

o ad

d th

e fo

llow

ing

idea

to

the

para

grap

h.

Som

e re

sort

to

the

fast

er à

la c

arte

line

to

grab

chi

ps a

nd a

dri

nk;

othe

rs s

kip

lunc

h al

toge

ther

.

Re-

read

the

par

agra

ph c

aref

ully

. W

here

is t

he m

ost

effe

ctiv

e pl

ace

to a

dd t

his

sent

ence

?

F Aft

er s

ente

nce

6

G

Aft

er s

ente

nce

7

H

Aft

er s

ente

nce

8

J Aft

er s

ente

nce

9 ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

I, 2

013,

#2

English I EOC Writing ■ Revision © Sirius Education Solutions22–23

Teacher’s Edition Sampler

25

Rev

isio

n Sk

ill 6

Rev

isio

n S

kil

l ■

Cla

rity

Impro

vin

g C

lari

tyO

n t

he

STA

AR

tes

t, y

ou

will

be

aske

d t

o m

ake

revi

sio

ns

to s

ente

nce

s to

imp

rove

cl

arit

y. T

his

mea

ns

mak

ing

a s

ente

nce

mo

re p

reci

se a

nd

eas

ier

to u

nd

erst

and

by

usi

ng

cl

ear,

co

ncr

ete

lan

gu

age

and

str

uct

uri

ng

th

e se

nte

nce

co

rrec

tly.

Typ

ical

ly, t

he

STA

AR

q

ues

tio

ns

focu

s o

n is

sues

of

wo

rdin

ess,

issu

es w

ith

pro

no

un

ref

eren

ces,

an

d is

sues

wit

h

par

alle

l co

nst

ruct

ion

.

Wo

rdin

ess

refe

rs t

o u

sin

g m

ore

wo

rds

than

nec

essa

ry t

o m

ake

a p

oin

t. R

evis

ing

fo

r w

ord

ines

s m

ean

s re

mo

vin

g u

nn

eces

sary

wo

rds

or

ph

rase

s fr

om

a s

ente

nce

so

th

at it

is

easi

er t

o u

nd

erst

and

.

Rig

ht

at t

he

pre

sen

t m

om

ent

the

mem

ber

s o

f th

e G

amin

g S

oci

ety

are

no

t o

n

the

loo

kou

t fo

r ad

dit

ion

al m

emb

ers

of

ou

r cl

ub

du

e to

th

e fa

ct t

hat

we

are

exp

erie

nci

ng

a s

ho

rtag

e o

f ad

dit

ion

al c

om

pu

ters

.

The

Gam

ing

So

ciet

y is

cu

rren

tly

clo

sed

to

new

mem

ber

s b

ecau

se w

e la

ck

eno

ug

h c

om

pu

ters

.

Pro

no

un

Ref

eren

ce r

efer

s to

th

e w

ord

th

at a

pro

no

un

is r

epla

cin

g in

a s

ente

nce

. Th

is w

ord

is a

lso

cal

led

an

an

tece

den

t. S

ente

nce

s ca

n b

eco

me

un

clea

r o

r in

corr

ect

if

pro

no

un

s ar

e n

ot

use

d c

orr

ectl

y o

r th

e an

tece

den

t is

un

clea

r. T

her

e ar

e tw

o m

ajo

r is

sues

wit

h p

ron

ou

n r

efer

ence

s.

Too

Man

y A

nte

ced

ents

Tyle

r sp

oke

to

Mig

uel

aft

er h

e th

rew

th

e b

all o

ver

the

fen

ce.

Tyle

r sp

oke

to

Mig

uel

aft

er M

igu

el t

hre

w t

he

bal

l ove

r th

e fe

nce

.

No

An

tece

den

ts

The

snac

k b

ow

l was

em

pty

, bu

t w

e w

ere

full

fro

m e

atin

g t

hem

an

yway

.

The

snac

k b

ow

l was

em

pty

, bu

t w

e w

ere

full

fro

m e

atin

g s

nac

ks a

nyw

ay.

Para

llel S

tru

ctu

re r

efer

s to

mak

ing

su

re t

he

par

ts o

f co

mp

lex

sen

ten

ces

mat

ch e

ach

o

ther

in h

ow

th

ey a

re w

ritt

en. T

he

mo

st c

om

mo

n e

rro

r is

usi

ng

inco

nsi

sten

t ve

rb

form

s. In t

he

futu

re, w

e w

ill m

ake

pu

rch

ases

, dri

vin

g c

ars,

an

d t

o t

rave

l ab

road

wit

ho

ut

carr

yin

g id

enti

fica

tio

n.

Para

llel

In t

he

futu

re w

e w

ill m

ake

pu

rch

ases

, dri

ve c

ars,

an

d t

rave

l ab

road

wit

ho

ut

ca

rryi

ng

iden

tifi

cati

on

.

(E1.1

3C)

Look

at

how

th

e un

derli

ned

phra

ses

in t

he

top

sent

ence

ca

n be

ex

pres

sed

with

fe

wer

wor

ds

in t

he b

otto

m

sent

ence

.

The

pron

oun

he is

unc

lear

. W

hich

boy

is it

re

ferr

ing

to?

The

pron

oun

them

is u

sed

to

refe

r to

sna

cks,

w

hich

is m

issi

ng

from

the

se

nten

ce.

The

verb

mus

t be

in t

he s

ame

tens

e or

for

m

for

the

sent

ence

to

be

para

llel.

24

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ R

evis

ion

Thin

k A

bo

ut

You

r Th

inki

ng

In t

he

char

t b

elo

w, e

valu

ate

each

an

swer

ch

oic

e b

ased

on

wh

at y

ou

hav

e le

arn

ed

abo

ut

revi

sin

g f

or

coh

eren

ce. O

ne

eval

uat

ion

has

bee

n c

om

ple

ted

fo

r yo

u.

An

swer

C

ho

ices

Eval

uat

ion

Is A

nsw

er

Co

rrec

t?

ATh

e ne

w s

ente

nce

seem

s to

be

abou

t de

cora

ting. T

he p

arag

raph

isn

’t all a

bout

dec

orat

ing; o

nly t

he s

econ

d ha

lf is

. The

new

sen

tenc

e pr

obab

ly g

oes

clos

er to

the

end.

no

B C D

Ind

ep

en

den

t Pra

ctic

eYo

u w

ill h

ave

the

op

po

rtu

nit

y to

pra

ctic

e re

visi

ng

fo

r co

her

ence

in R

evis

ion

Pra

ctic

e 1

and

3.

This

new

sent

ence

exp

lains

how

the

Youn

gs d

ecid

ed o

n de

cora

tions

, but

it d

oesn

’t gi

ve sp

ecifi

c det

ails.

If I a

dd th

e se

nten

ce a

fter s

ente

nce

21, i

t will

wra

p up

the

deta

ils a

bout

de

cora

ting

and

will a

lso le

ad in

to th

e qu

otat

ion

at th

e en

d of

the

para

grap

h.

yes

The

sent

ence

wor

ks a

s a lin

k be

twee

n th

e de

tails

of

deco

ratin

g an

d M

ike’s

quot

atio

n ab

out t

he ch

oices

they

m

ade.

The

quot

atio

n ex

plains

and

exp

ands

on

the

new

se

nten

ce.

no

The

new

sent

ence

is d

efinit

ely re

lated

to th

e id

eas i

n th

e pa

ragr

aph,

so a

nswe

r cho

ice D

can

be cr

osse

d ou

t.no

© Sirius Education Solutions Revision Skill ■ Clarity 24–25


41

Rev

isio

n ■

Pra

ctic

e

A C

ave

wit

h M

any

Occ

up

ants

(10)

Thi

ngs

exca

vate

d fr

om t

he c

aver

n sh

ow t

hat

it w

as h

ome

to m

any

Ice

Age

anim

als.

(11

) Th

e ca

ve h

as a

lso

been

occ

upie

d by

gro

ups

of p

eopl

e th

roug

hout

the

yea

rs.

(12)

The

larg

est

room

in t

he c

aver

n is

cal

led

the

“Ind

ian

Cou

ncil

Roo

m.”

(13

) Abo

ut 4

00

year

s ag

o C

oman

che

trib

al le

ader

s us

ed it

as

a m

eetin

g pl

ace.

(14

) N

ot o

nly

was

the

cav

ern

used

as

a m

eetin

g pl

ace

by t

he C

oman

che,

but

it w

as a

lso

used

by

the

Con

fede

rate

Arm

y

as a

sec

ret

plac

e to

hid

e an

d m

anuf

actu

re w

eapo

ns d

urin

g th

e Civ

il W

ar.

(15)

The

sol

dier

s

colle

cted

bat

gua

no f

rom

the

cav

ern,

tur

ned

it in

to g

unpo

wde

r, a

nd h

id it

the

re f

or u

se

agai

nst

the

Uni

on A

rmy.

An

Ou

tlaw

Hid

eou

t(1

6) C

rim

inal

s us

ed t

he c

ave.

(17

) Rum

or h

as it

tha

t th

e no

tori

ous

crim

inal

Sam

Bas

s

used

it a

s a

plac

e to

hid

e ou

t fr

om t

he la

w.

(18)

In

fact

, th

e en

tran

ce t

o th

e ca

ve is

cal

led

the

“Sam

Bas

s En

tran

ce.”

(19

) D

urin

g Pr

ohib

ition

, th

e ca

vern

was

use

d as

a s

peak

easy

, a

plac

e to

ser

ve il

lega

l alc

ohol

. (2

0) T

he s

tate

tur

ned

it in

to a

par

k, a

nd t

oday

, th

e ca

vern

is

used

for

lega

l gat

heri

ngs,

like

wed

ding

s an

d pr

ivat

e pa

rtie

s. (

21)

The

park

als

o sp

onso

rs

a tw

ice-

mon

thly

con

cert

ser

ies

calle

d “S

impl

e Sou

nds,

” w

here

vis

itors

can

hea

r liv

e m

usic

enha

nced

by

the

amaz

ing

acou

stic

s of

the

cav

ern.

(22)

The

inte

rest

ing

way

tha

t Lo

ngho

rn C

aver

n w

as f

orm

ed,

alon

g w

ith it

s ex

citin

g an

d

vari

ed h

isto

ry,

mak

es it

one

of th

e m

ost

impo

rtan

t na

tura

l lan

dmar

ks in

Tex

as.

(23)

In

fact

,

Long

horn

Cav

ern

was

nam

ed a

Nat

iona

l Nat

ural

Lan

dmar

k in

197

1.

40

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ R

evis

ion

Rev

isio

n P

ract

ice

Revis

ion 4

Rea

d t

he

sele

ctio

n a

nd

ch

oo

se t

he

bes

t an

swer

to

each

qu

esti

on

.

Mig

uel w

rote

thi

s pa

per

in r

espo

nse

to a

cla

ss a

ssig

nmen

t. R

ead

Mig

uel’s

pap

er a

nd t

hink

ab

out

the

revi

sion

s he

nee

ds t

o m

ake.

The

n an

swer

the

que

stio

ns t

hat

follo

w. Photo by Larry D. Moore

Texa

s’s

Old

est

Han

gou

t

(1)

Toda

y pe

ople

mee

t in

bui

ldin

gs,

such

as

coff

ee h

ouse

s an

d of

fices

. (2

) But

long

befo

re o

ffic

e bu

ildin

gs w

ere

built

, pe

ople

stil

l nee

ded

a pl

ace

to m

eet

that

was

sec

ret,

saf

e,

and

also

had

a s

ense

of im

port

ance

or

mys

tery

. (3

) Lo

ngho

rn C

aver

n Sta

te P

ark

in B

urne

t,

Texa

s, is

jus

t su

ch a

pla

ce.

(4)

Texa

s is

hom

e to

man

y ca

ves

and

cave

rns.

(5)

For

exa

mpl

e, L

ongh

orn

Cav

ern,

whi

ch is

at

leas

t 45

0 m

illio

n ye

ars

old,

was

for

med

in a

diff

eren

t m

anne

r fr

om t

he o

ther

s.

(6)

Mos

t Te

xas

cave

rns

are

crea

ted

by w

ater

dri

ppin

g th

roug

h lim

esto

ne o

ver

mill

ions

of

year

s. (

7) T

his

wat

er,

calle

d se

epag

e, w

ears

dow

n th

e lim

esto

ne a

nd e

vent

ually

by

the

wat

er d

oing

thi

s it

form

s th

e ca

ves.

(8)

In

the

case

of Lo

ngho

rn C

aver

n, t

he s

eepa

ge t

hat

form

ed e

arlie

r ca

ves

in t

he a

rea

beca

me

an u

nder

grou

nd r

iver

, an

d th

at r

iver

car

ved

the

cave

rn,

out

of t

he li

mes

tone

. (9

) Lo

ngho

rn C

aver

n is

one

of th

e fe

w r

iver

-car

ved

cave

rns

in

the

Uni

ted

Sta

tes,

and

the

onl

y su

ch c

ave

in T

exas

.

English I EOC Writing ■ Revision © Sirius Education Solutions40–41


42

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ R

evis

ion

1

Mig

uel w

ants

to

wri

te a

the

sis

stat

emen

t th

at a

ccur

atel

y co

nvey

s th

e m

ain

idea

of hi

s pa

per. W

hich

of th

e fo

llow

ing

shou

ld h

e ad

d af

ter

sent

ence

3?

(E1.

15A

)

A

Cav

e en

thus

iast

s fr

om a

ll ov

er lo

ve t

o vi

sit

Long

horn

Cav

ern

and

emjo

y its

beau

ty.

B

The

cave

rn is

a n

atur

al w

onde

r th

at h

as b

een

used

by

anim

als

and

peop

le f

or m

illio

ns

of y

ears

.

C

Who

wou

ldn’

t w

ant

to s

ee s

uch

an im

port

ant

natu

ral w

onde

r?

D

It w

as e

ven

read

ied

for

use

as a

nuc

lear

fal

lout

she

lter

for

whe

n Pr

esid

ent

John

son

visi

ted

Texa

s.

2

Mig

uel w

ould

like

to

use

a m

ore

appr

opri

ate

tran

sitio

n in

sen

tenc

e 5.

Whi

ch o

f th

e fo

llow

ing

best

rep

lace

s Fo

r ex

amp

le?

(E1.

13C

)

F Th

eref

ore

G

Firs

t

H

How

ever

J Add

ition

ally

3

Wha

t is

the

mos

t ef

fect

ive

way

to

revi

se s

ente

nce

7?

(E1.

13C

)

A

This

wat

er,

calle

d se

epag

e, w

ears

dow

n th

e lim

esto

ne a

nd e

vent

ually

for

ms

the

cave

s.

B

This

wat

er,

calle

d se

epag

e, w

ears

dow

n th

e lim

esto

ne,

and

even

tual

ly t

he w

ater

it

form

s th

e ca

ves.

C

See

page

is w

hat

the

wat

er is

cal

led

that

wea

rs d

own

the

limes

tone

and

eve

ntua

lly

form

s th

e ca

ves.

D

See

page

, w

hich

is w

hat

this

wat

er is

cal

led,

wea

rs d

own

the

limes

tone

and

eve

ntua

lly

by t

he w

ater

doi

ng t

his

it fo

rms

the

cave

s.

Revision ■ Practice© Sirius Education Solutions

An

swer

Ch

oic

e Ex

pla

nat

ion

s

1

A T

his

stat

emen

t do

es n

ot t

ell t

he r

eade

r w

hat

the

essa

y is

abo

ut.

B

Cor

rect

. Thi

s th

esis

sta

tem

ent

fully

intr

oduc

es w

hat

the

essa

y w

ill

cove

r.

C T

his

sent

ence

ask

s a

ques

tion

but

does

not

intr

oduc

e th

e re

ader

to

the

top

ic o

f th

e es

say.

D

Thi

s se

nten

ce in

trod

uces

new

info

rmat

ion

but

does

not

exp

lain

w

hat

the

essa

y is

abo

ut.

2

F Th

eref

ore

is a

tra

nsiti

on w

ord

that

mea

ns “

for

that

rea

son”

and

in

trod

uces

a c

oncl

usio

n.

G T

he t

rans

ition

Firs

t is

use

d to

intr

oduc

e a

list,

but

the

re is

no

list

here

.

H C

orre

ct. H

owev

er is

use

d to

intr

oduc

e a

cont

rast

ing

idea

, and

M

igue

l is

expl

aini

ng h

ow L

ongh

orn

Cav

ern

is d

iffer

ent

from

oth

er

cave

rns

in T

exas

.

J Th

e tr

ansi

tion

Add

ition

ally

is u

sed

to in

trod

uce

mor

e, s

imila

r id

eas,

not

con

tras

ting

idea

s.

3

A C

orre

ct. T

his

vers

ion

elim

inat

es t

he u

nnec

essa

ry w

ords

by

the

wat

er d

oing

thi

s it

to m

ake

the

sent

ence

cle

arer

and

mor

e fo

cuse

d.

B S

ince

the

sub

ject

, wat

er, i

s al

read

y st

ated

, the

wor

d it

is a

dou

ble

subj

ect,

mak

ing

this

rev

isio

n aw

kwar

d. A

lso,

the

sen

tenc

e is

stil

l w

ordy

.

C T

he fi

rst

part

of

this

rev

isio

n is

wor

ded

awkw

ardl

y an

d pl

aces

the

fo

cus

on t

he w

rong

idea

.

D T

his

revi

sion

cre

ates

mor

e w

ordi

ness

with

out

fixin

g th

e w

ordi

ness

th

e se

nten

ce a

lread

y co

ntai

ns.

42


43

R

evis

ion

■ P

ract

ice

4

Mig

uel w

ants

to

use

a m

ore

appr

opri

ate

wor

d th

an T

hin

gs

in s

ente

nce

10.

Whi

ch o

f th

ese

coul

d be

st r

epla

ce t

he w

ord

Thin

gs?

(E

1.13

C)

F It

ems

G

Wea

pons

H

Foss

ils

J La

ndm

arks

5

Wha

t is

the

mos

t ef

fect

ive

way

to

com

bine

sen

tenc

es 1

2 an

d 13

? (E

1.13

C)

A

The

larg

est

room

in t

he c

aver

n is

cal

led

the

“Ind

ian

Cou

ncil

Roo

m,”

and

bec

ause

abo

ut

400

year

s ag

o C

oman

che

trib

al le

ader

s us

ed it

as

a m

eetin

g pl

ace.

B

The

larg

est

room

in t

he c

aver

n is

cal

led

the

“Ind

ian

Cou

ncil

Roo

m,

beca

use

abou

t 40

0 ye

ars

ago

Com

anch

e tr

ibal

lead

ers

used

it a

s a

mee

ting

plac

e.

C

The

larg

est

room

in t

he c

aver

n is

cal

led

the

“Ind

ian

Cou

ncil

Roo

m,”

abo

ut 4

00 y

ears

ag

o C

oman

che

trib

al le

ader

s us

ed it

as

a m

eetin

g pl

ace.

D

The

larg

est

room

in t

he c

aver

n is

cal

led

the

“Ind

ian

Cou

ncil

Roo

m”;

how

ever

, ab

out

400

year

s ag

o C

oman

che

trib

al le

ader

s us

ed it

as

a m

eetin

g pl

ace.

6

Mig

uel’s

tra

nsiti

on f

rom

the

thi

rd p

arag

raph

(se

nten

ces

10–1

5) t

o th

e fo

urth

par

agra

ph

(sen

tenc

es 1

6–21

) is

wea

k. W

hich

of th

e fo

llow

ing

coul

d be

st r

epla

ce s

ente

nce

16 a

nd

prov

ide

a m

ore

effe

ctiv

e tr

ansi

tion

betw

een

thes

e tw

o pa

ragr

aphs

? (E

1.15

A)

F O

ther

peo

ple

used

the

cav

e, t

oo.

G

Now

the

pub

lic m

ay v

isit

the

cave

and

vie

w it

s be

auty

.

H

The

cave

was

the

per

fect

pla

ce t

o hi

de f

rom

the

Uni

on a

rmy.

J Th

e ca

ve w

as a

lso

used

for

a v

arie

ty o

f ill

egal

pur

pose

s.

English I EOC Writing ■ Revision © Sirius Education Solutions

An

swer

Ch

oic

e Ex

pla

nat

ion

s

4

F Ite

ms

is a

syn

onym

for

—an

d is

no

mor

e sp

ecifi

c th

an—

the

wor

d Th

ings

.

G F

indi

ng w

eapo

ns w

ould

not

indi

cate

tha

t an

imal

s liv

ed in

the

ca

vern

dur

ing

the

Ice

Age

.

H C

orre

ct. T

he w

ord

Foss

ils is

spe

cific

and

is a

logi

cal r

epla

cem

ent

for

the

vagu

e no

un T

hing

s.

J Th

e ca

ve it

self

is a

land

mar

k. E

xcav

atin

g th

e ca

ve w

ould

not

un

cove

r la

ndm

arks

.

5

A T

he c

oord

inat

ing

conj

unct

ion

and

and

the

subo

rdin

atin

g co

njun

ctio

n be

caus

e ar

e no

t bo

th n

eede

d.

B C

orre

ct. T

urni

ng t

he s

econ

d se

nten

ce in

to a

dep

ende

nt c

laus

e an

d cr

eatin

g a

com

plex

sen

tenc

e cl

arifi

es a

nd e

mph

asiz

es t

he

rela

tions

hip

betw

een

the

two

clau

ses.

C T

his

vers

ion

is a

run

-on

sent

ence

; tw

o in

depe

nden

t cl

ause

s ca

nnot

be

join

ed w

ith a

com

ma

alon

e.

D

The

wor

d ho

wev

er is

use

d to

intr

oduc

e a

cont

rast

ing

idea

, but

th

e tw

o cl

ause

s in

thi

s se

nten

ce d

o no

t co

ntai

n co

ntra

stin

g id

eas.

6

F Th

is s

ente

nce

is n

ot a

n ef

fect

ive

tran

sitio

n be

caus

e it

does

not

in

trod

uce

the

topi

c of

the

fou

rth

para

grap

h.

G

Thi

s se

nten

ce is

onl

y va

guel

y re

late

d to

info

rmat

ion

at t

he e

nd

of t

he f

ourt

h pa

ragr

aph

and

does

not

con

nect

to

the

prev

ious

pa

ragr

aph.

H T

he s

ente

nce

is r

elat

ed t

o on

e id

ea in

the

pre

viou

s pa

ragr

aph,

but

it

does

not

intr

oduc

e th

e to

pic

of t

he f

ourt

h pa

ragr

aph.

J

Cor

rect

. Thi

s se

nten

ce in

trod

uces

the

con

tent

of

the

four

th

para

grap

h an

d co

nnec

ts it

to

the

info

rmat

ion

in t

he t

hird

pa

ragr

aph

by u

sing

the

tra

nsiti

on a

lso.

43


66

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ E

dit

ing

Ag

reem

en

t w

ith

In

defi

nit

e P

ron

ou

ns

An

ind

efin

ite

pro

no

un

do

es n

ot

refe

r to

a s

pec

ific

pla

ce o

r th

ing

. So

me

ind

efin

ite

pro

no

un

s ar

e si

ng

ula

r, a

nd

so

me

are

plu

ral.

Som

e ca

n b

e ei

ther

sin

gu

lar

or

plu

ral,

dep

end

ing

on

th

eir

mea

nin

g in

a s

ente

nce

.

Each

of

the

bo

ys t

hin

ks h

e ca

n h

elp

pai

nt

the

gar

age.

Bo

th o

f th

e ki

tten

s ar

e sl

eep

ing

on

th

eir

bac

ks.

Mo

st o

f h

er a

rtw

ork

sel

ls q

uic

kly

bec

ause

it a

pp

eals

to

man

y b

uye

rs.

Mo

st o

f h

er p

ain

tin

gs

are

smal

l; th

ey c

an fi

t o

n a

lmo

st a

ny

wal

l.

Ski

ll C

heck

For

each

sen

ten

ce b

elo

w, d

raw

a b

ox

aro

un

d t

he

ind

efin

ite

pro

no

un

an

d t

hen

u

nd

erlin

e th

e co

rrec

t p

ron

ou

n in

sid

e th

e p

aren

thes

es.

7.

Som

eon

e fr

om

th

e g

irls

’ ten

nis

tea

m le

ft (

her

, th

eir)

rac

ket

on

th

e co

urt

.

8.

Man

y o

f th

e vo

lun

teer

s st

ayed

at

(his

, th

eir)

po

sts

thro

ug

h t

he

nig

ht.

9.

Som

e o

f th

e p

eop

le in

vite

d t

o t

he

par

ty s

ent

(his

or

her

, th

eir)

reg

rets

.

Mix

ed

Pra

ctic

eFo

r ea

ch s

ente

nce

belo

w, d

raw

a b

ox a

roun

d th

e an

tece

dent

, the

wor

d jo

inin

g co

mpo

und

ante

cede

nts,

or

the

inde

fini

te p

rono

un. T

hen,

und

erlin

e th

e co

rrec

t pr

onou

n in

par

enth

eses

.

1.

Har

ry a

nd

Bra

d b

oth

en

joy

spen

din

g (

his

, th

eir)

tim

e at

th

e an

imal

sh

elte

r.

2.

Ever

yon

e o

n t

he

gir

ls’ b

aske

tbal

l tea

m p

laye

d (

her

, th

eir)

bes

t in

th

e b

ig g

ame.

3.

Mo

st o

f th

e co

ttag

es s

till

hav

e sn

ow

on

(it

s, t

hei

r) w

ind

ow

sills

.

4.

On

e o

f th

e h

amst

ers

has

esc

aped

fro

m (

its,

th

eir)

cag

e.

5.

No

ne

of

the

gu

ests

kn

ew w

her

e (h

is o

r h

er, t

hei

r) h

ost

was

.

6.

Car

men

an

d M

on

a sa

id (

she,

th

ey)

liked

th

e id

ea o

f tr

yin

g o

ut

for

socc

er.

7.

If L

ily o

r D

ebra

arr

ives

so

on

, ple

ase

ask

(her

, th

em)

to h

elp

set

up

th

e ta

ble

s.

8.

Seve

ral o

f th

e fl

ora

l des

ign

ers

hav

e w

on

aw

ard

s fo

r (h

is o

r h

er, t

hei

r) fl

ow

ers.

9.

The

serv

ers

and

man

ager

wo

rked

har

d b

ecau

se (

he

or

she,

th

ey)

wan

ted

th

e cu

sto

mer

s to

be

hap

py.

10.

We

trim

med

th

e lo

wer

bra

nch

es s

o t

hat

we

wo

uld

sto

p b

um

pin

g o

ur

hea

ds

on

(i

t, t

hem

).

plur

alpl

ural

inde

finite

pro

noun

sing

ular

, ref

ers

to “

artw

ork”

as

one

who

le t

hing

plur

al, r

efer

s to

“pa

intin

gs”

sing

ular

inde

finite

pro

noun

sing

ular

65

Edit

ing

Skill

3

Ed

itin

g S

kil

l ■

Pro

no

un

s

Usi

ng P

ronouns

Corr

ect

lyA

pro

no

un

is a

wo

rd u

sed

in p

lace

of

a n

ou

n o

r m

ore

th

an o

ne

no

un

. Th

e w

ord

th

at

a p

ron

ou

n s

tan

ds

for

is c

alle

d it

s an

tece

den

t. A

nte

ced

ent

mea

ns

“th

e th

ing

bef

ore

,”

and

ref

ers

to t

he

no

un

or

pro

per

no

un

th

at t

he

pro

no

un

ref

ers

to. Y

ou

mig

ht

see

an

item

on

th

e ST

AA

R t

est

that

req

uir

es y

ou

to

fix

agre

emen

t b

etw

een

pro

no

un

s an

d

ante

ced

ents

.

Pro

no

un

-An

tece

den

t A

gre

em

en

tU

se a

sin

gu

lar

pro

no

un

to

ref

er t

o a

sin

gu

lar

ante

ced

ent.

Use

a p

lura

l pro

no

un

to

ref

er

to a

plu

ral a

nte

ced

ent.

Als

o m

ake

sure

a p

ron

ou

n a

gre

es w

ith

its

ante

ced

ent

in g

end

er.

Mr.

Ro

mer

o is

a g

oo

d c

oac

h, a

nd

he

has

hel

ped

his

pla

yers

bu

ild b

ette

r sk

ills.

Two

so

ccer

mat

ches

are

sch

edu

led

on

Sat

urd

ay. T

hey

will

be

can

cele

d if

it r

ain

s.

Ski

ll C

heck

Fo

r ea

ch s

ente

nce

bel

ow

, dra

w a

bo

x ar

ou

nd

th

e an

tece

den

t an

d t

hen

un

der

line

the

corr

ect

pro

no

un

insi

de

the

par

enth

eses

.

1.

The

two

bal

d e

agle

s ad

d m

ore

mat

eria

l to

(it

s, t

hei

r) n

est

each

yea

r.

2.

Ric

har

d h

as w

ork

ed h

ard

to

ear

n (

his

, th

eir)

po

siti

on

as

hea

d o

f th

e d

ebat

e te

am.

3.

Nei

ther

gir

l wo

uld

ad

mit

(h

er, t

hei

r) r

ole

in t

he

pra

ctic

al jo

ke.

Ag

reem

en

t w

ith

Co

mp

ou

nd

An

tece

den

tsFo

r tw

o o

r m

ore

sin

gu

lar

ante

ced

ents

join

ed b

y o

r o

r n

or,

use

a s

ing

ula

r p

ron

ou

n. F

or

two

or

mo

re a

nte

ced

ents

join

ed b

y an

d, u

se a

plu

ral p

ron

ou

n.

SIN

GU

LAR

: Eit

her

Mar

isa

or

An

gel

a le

ft h

er ja

cket

on

th

e fl

oo

r.

PLU

RA

L: P

ablo

an

d J

acki

e ro

de

thei

r b

icyc

les

to t

he

lake

.

Ski

ll C

heck

For

each

sen

ten

ce b

elo

w, d

raw

a b

ox

aro

un

d t

he

wo

rd jo

inin

g t

he

ante

ced

ents

, an

d t

hen

un

der

line

the

corr

ect

pro

no

un

insi

de

the

par

enth

eses

.

4.

The

sin

ger

an

d t

he

ban

d p

erfo

rmed

(it

s, t

hei

r) s

on

gs

bea

uti

fully

.

5.

Nei

ther

Sco

tt n

or

Edu

ard

o w

ante

d t

o a

dd

(h

is, t

hei

r) n

ame

to t

he

pet

itio

n.

6.

If L

isa

or

Mad

elin

e n

eed

s a

rid

e, t

ell (

her

, th

em)

my

mo

ther

can

dri

ve.

(E1.1

3D)

sing

ular

mas

culin

e pr

onou

nssi

ngul

ar a

ntec

eden

t

plur

al a

ntec

eden

tpl

ural

pro

noun

plur

al p

rono

un

sing

ular

pro

noun

join

ing

wor

d is

or

join

ing

wor

d is

and

© Sirius Education SolutionsEnglish I EOC Writing ■ Editing65–66


80

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ E

dit

ing

(10)

Whe

n w

e ar

rive

d at

the

fai

rgro

unds

, m

y da

d se

ttle

d G

idge

t in

to h

er c

rate

whi

le

I lo

oked

at

the

cour

se m

ap a

nd li

sten

ed t

o th

e ju

dge’

s br

iefin

g. (

11)

Then

I d

id m

y w

alk-

thro

ugh,

the

cou

rse

seem

ed c

halle

ngin

g, b

ut I

stu

died

it c

aref

ully

and

was

tot

ally

foc

used

on m

y ha

ndlin

g st

rate

gy.

(12)

“W

e ca

n do

thi

s,”

I w

hisp

ered

to

mys

elf as

we

wai

ted

for

our

turn

. (13)

App

aren

tly,

I ha

d be

en s

o fo

cuse

d on

lear

ning

the

cou

rse

that

I d

idn’

t no

tice

how

nerv

ous

and

dist

ract

ed G

idge

t w

as in

the

unf

amili

ar s

urro

undi

ngs.

(14

) Th

e fir

st f

ew jum

ps

wen

t fin

e, a

s di

d th

e A-

fram

e an

d ev

en t

he t

eete

r-to

tter

. (1

5) W

hen

we

got

to t

he t

unne

l,

how

ever

, G

idge

t st

oppe

d in

her

tra

cks

and

refu

sed

to g

o in

. (1

6) I

tri

ed r

esor

ting

to o

ur

trai

ning

ste

ps,

but

the

judg

e in

stru

cted

me

to c

ontin

ue p

asse

d th

e ob

stac

le.

(17)

Nee

dles

s to

say

, w

e di

d no

t br

ing

hom

e a

ribb

on.

(18)

“Ref

usal

s,”

as t

hey

are

calle

d ar

e fa

ulte

d he

avily

, an

d w

e al

so lo

st p

oint

s fo

r co

min

g in

eig

ht s

econ

ds o

ver

the

SC

T, o

r st

anda

rd c

ours

e tim

e. (

19)

Dad

tri

ed t

o co

nsol

e m

e. (

20)

“Thi

s w

as y

our

first

tim

e,”

he s

aid.

(21

) “Y

ou’ll

do

muc

h be

tter

nex

t tim

e, n

ow t

hat

you

know

how

Gid

get

reac

ts in

a

com

petit

ion

envi

ronm

ent.”

(22)

But

I w

as in

cons

olab

le.

(23)

I t

old

my

dad

I w

ould

nev

er t

ry

this

aga

in.

(24)

The

n I

look

ed d

own

at G

idge

t’s

face

, an

d I

saw

tha

t sh

e w

as b

eam

ing!

(25

)

She

was

not

dis

appo

inte

d; s

he w

as e

xcite

d an

d ha

ppy!

(26

) At

tha

t m

omen

t I

knew

tha

t

agili

ty w

as a

gre

at a

ctiv

ity

for

Gid

get

and

me,

not

bec

ause

we

mig

ht b

e ch

ampi

ons

at it

, bu

t

beca

use

it ke

pt u

s bo

th m

enta

lly a

nd p

hysi

cally

act

ive.

(27

) It

als

o w

ould

bri

ng u

s cl

oser

toge

ther

with

eac

h ne

w e

xper

ienc

e. (

28)

Yes,

we’

ll ke

ep g

oing

to

com

petit

ions

, an

d w

e’ll

keep

get

ting

bett

er.

(29)

But

as

far

as I

’m c

once

rned

, th

e ri

bbon

s ca

n w

ait.

79

Ed

itin

g ■

Pra

ctic

e

Edit

ing 1

Edit

ing

Pra

ctic

e

Rea

d t

he

sele

ctio

n a

nd

ch

oo

se t

he

bes

t an

swer

to

each

qu

esti

on

.

Gab

riel

wro

te t

his

pape

r to

tel

l abo

ut a

per

sona

l exp

erie

nce

that

tur

ned

out

diff

eren

t th

an

he e

xpec

ted.

Rea

d G

abri

el’s

pap

er a

nd lo

ok f

or t

he c

orre

ctio

ns h

e ne

eds

to m

ake.

The

n an

swer

the

que

stio

ns t

hat

follo

w. Tria

l an

d E

rror

(1)

On

the

mor

ning

of ou

r fir

st a

gilit

y tr

ial,

as w

e m

ade

the

long

dri

ve t

o th

e

fair

grou

nds,

I s

at in

the

bac

ksea

t w

ith G

idge

t, p

ettin

g he

r an

d re

mem

beri

ng a

ll th

e tim

e

we

have

spe

nt p

repa

ring

for

thi

s da

y. (

2) I

had

rea

d th

at S

hetla

nd s

heep

dogs

exc

el a

t do

g

agili

ty,

so a

s so

on a

s G

idge

t w

as o

ld e

noug

h, I

sig

ned

us u

p fo

r a

clas

s. (

3) W

e pr

actic

ed

thre

e tim

es a

wee

k, a

nd a

lthou

gh it

was

har

d w

ork

som

etim

es,

I en

joye

d le

arni

ng w

ith h

er.

(4)

Som

etim

es,

whe

n w

e w

ere

lear

ning

a n

ew o

bsta

cle,

she

wou

ld b

ehav

e tim

id a

t fir

st.

(5)

The

colla

psed

tun

nel a

nd t

he t

eete

r-to

tter

bot

h m

ade

her

espe

cial

ly n

ervo

us,

but

I w

as

patie

nt w

ith t

he t

rain

ing,

and

eve

ntua

lly s

he w

as z

ippi

ng t

hrou

gh t

hat

tunn

el a

nd c

ruis

ing

over

tha

t te

eter

-tot

ter

with

eas

e.

(6)

Now

we

wer

e on

our

way

to

our

first

com

petit

ion.

(7)

Aft

er s

o m

any

mon

ths

of

trai

ning

, I

wan

ted

to a

t le

ast

plac

e in

our

cla

ss.

(8)

I im

agin

ed a

ll th

e ot

her

com

petit

ors

ravi

ng a

bout

Gid

get’s

skill

and

spe

ed o

n th

e co

urse

, an

d m

y am

azin

g ha

ndlin

g ab

ility

s. (

9) I

envi

sion

ed u

s go

ing

hom

e w

ith a

big

rib

bon,

whi

ch I

wou

ld d

ispl

ay n

ext

to h

er d

og b

ed f

or

all o

ur f

rien

ds t

o ad

mir

e.

© Sirius Education Solutions Editing ■ Practice 79–80


81

Ed

itin

g ■

Pra

ctic

e

1

Wha

t ch

ange

sho

uld

be m

ade

in s

ente

nce

1?

(E1.

17A

)

A

Cha

nge

mo

rnin

g t

o M

orn

ing

B

Cha

nge

sat

to s

et

C

Cha

nge

hav

e sp

ent

to h

ad s

pen

t

D

Inse

rt a

com

ma

afte

r p

rep

arin

g

2

Wha

t ch

ange

is n

eede

d in

sen

tenc

e 4?

(E

1.13

D)

F Cha

nge

Som

etim

es t

o S

om

etim

e

G

Cha

nge

wer

e le

arn

ing t

o w

ill h

ave

lear

ned

H

Cha

nge

tim

id t

o ti

mid

ly

J Cha

nge

at f

irst

to

firs

tly

3

Wha

t ch

ange

is n

eede

d in

sen

tenc

e 8?

(E

1.19

A)

A

Cha

nge

imag

ined

to

imag

inin

g

B

Cha

nge

Gid

get

’s t

o G

idg

ets

C

Cha

nge

cou

rse

to c

oar

se

D

Cha

nge

abili

tys

to a

bili

ties


An

swer

Ch

oic

e Ex

pla

nat

ion

s

1

A T

he w

ord

mor

ning

is a

com

mon

nou

n an

d sh

ould

not

be

capi

taliz

ed.

B

The

cor

rect

pas

t te

nse

form

of

sit

is s

at.

C

Cor

rect

. Use

the

pas

t pe

rfec

t te

nse

to t

ell a

bout

an

actio

n th

at

took

pla

ce b

efor

e an

othe

r pa

st a

ctio

n di

d.

D D

o no

t se

t of

f a

rest

rictiv

e ph

rase

with

com

mas

.

2

F Th

e ad

verb

som

etim

e m

eans

“at

an

inde

finite

tim

e in

the

fut

ure.

” Th

e ad

verb

som

etim

es m

eans

“oc

casi

onal

ly.”

G

The

pas

t pr

ogre

ssiv

e fo

rm w

ere

lear

ning

is c

orre

ct. T

he f

utur

e pe

rfec

t te

nse

wou

ld n

ot m

ake

sens

e.

H

Cor

rect

. The

adv

erb

form

tim

idly

is n

eede

d to

mod

ify w

ould

be

have

.

J Fi

rstly

or

first

is u

sed

to in

dica

te s

eque

nce.

At

first

mea

ns “

in t

he

begi

nnin

g.”

3

A T

he p

ast

tens

e fo

rm im

agin

ed e

xpre

sses

an

actio

n th

at t

ook

plac

e in

the

pas

t.

B U

se a

n ap

ostr

ophe

and

an

s to

for

m t

he p

osse

ssiv

e of

a s

ingu

lar

prop

er n

oun.

C

The

nou

n co

urse

mea

ns “

the

desi

gnat

ed p

ath

for

a ra

ce.”

Coa

rse

is a

n ad

ject

ive

that

mea

ns “

roug

h.”

D

Cor

rect

. To

form

the

plu

ral o

f a

noun

end

ing

in y

pre

cede

d by

a

cons

onan

t, c

hang

e th

e y

to i

and

add

es.

English I EOC Writing ■ Editing81


82

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ E

dit

ing

4

Wha

t is

the

cor

rect

way

to

wri

te s

ente

nce

11?

(E1.

17C

)

F Th

en I

did

my

wal

k-th

roug

h. T

he c

ours

e se

emed

cha

lleng

ing,

but

I s

tudi

ed it

car

eful

ly

and

was

tot

ally

foc

used

on

my

hand

ling

stra

tegy

.

G

Then

I d

id m

y w

alk-

thro

ugh,

and

alth

ough

the

cou

rse

seem

ed c

halle

ngin

g. I

stu

died

it

care

fully

and

was

tot

ally

foc

used

on

my

hand

ling

stra

tegy

.

H

Then

I d

id m

y w

alk-

thro

ugh,

and

the

cou

rse

seem

ed c

halle

ngin

g. E

ven

thou

gh I

stu

died

it

care

fully

and

was

tot

ally

foc

used

on

my

hand

ling

stra

tegy

.

J Th

en I

did

my

wal

k-th

roug

h, t

he c

ours

e se

emed

cha

lleng

ing.

I s

tudi

ed it

car

eful

ly a

nd

was

tot

ally

foc

used

on

my

hand

ling

stra

tegy

.

5

Wha

t ch

ange

nee

ds t

o be

mad

e in

sen

tenc

e 16

? (E

1.13

D

A

Cha

nge

reso

rtin

g t

o re

sort

tin

g

B

Cha

nge

the

com

ma

to a

sem

icol

on

C

Cha

nge

inst

ruct

ed t

o in

stru

cts

D

Cha

nge

pas

sed t

o p

ast

6

Wha

t ch

ange

sho

uld

be m

ade

in s

ente

nce

18?

(E1.

18B)

F Add

a c

omm

a af

ter

calle

d

G

Cha

nge

hea

vily

to

hea

vy

H

Del

ete

and

J Cha

nge

com

ing t

o co

mei

ng


An

swer

Ch

oic

e Ex

pla

nat

ion

s

4

F C

orre

ct. O

ne w

ay t

o fix

a r

un-o

n se

nten

ce is

to

mak

e tw

o se

para

te s

ente

nces

.

G T

his

revi

sion

is c

onfu

sing

bec

ause

in t

he fi

rst

sent

ence

the

su

bord

inat

e cl

ause

is t

reat

ed a

s an

inde

pend

ent

clau

se a

nd

beca

use

the

conj

unct

ion

alth

ough

usu

ally

indi

cate

s a

cont

rast

, bu

t no

idea

s ar

e be

ing

cont

rast

ed h

ere.

H T

he s

econ

d pa

rt o

f th

is r

evis

ion

is a

sen

tenc

e fr

agm

ent.

J

The

first

par

t of

thi

s re

visi

on is

stil

l a r

un-o

n se

nten

ce.

5

A T

he c

orre

ct s

pelli

ng is

res

ortin

g.

B T

he c

omm

a an

d co

ordi

natin

g co

njun

ctio

n bu

t co

rrec

tly s

epar

ate

the

two

inde

pend

ent

clau

ses

in t

he s

ente

nce.

C

The

sen

tenc

e is

des

crib

ing

past

act

ion,

so

the

past

ten

se f

orm

of

inst

ruct

—in

stru

cted

—is

cor

rect

.

D C

orre

ct. T

he w

ord

past

ref

ers

to t

he lo

catio

n of

the

nar

rato

r—th

e ju

dge

said

to

go p

ast

the

obst

acle

.

6

F C

orre

ct. N

onre

stric

tive

clau

ses

shou

ld b

e se

t of

f w

ith c

omm

as.

G

The

adv

erb

heav

ily c

orre

ctly

mod

ifies

the

ver

b ar

e fa

ulte

d.

H T

he c

oord

inat

ing

conj

unct

ion

and

is n

eede

d, in

add

ition

to

the

com

ma,

to

join

the

tw

o in

depe

nden

t cl

ause

s.

J Th

e co

rrec

t sp

ellin

g is

com

ing.

Editing ■ Practice 82


106

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Com

posi

tion

Skill

2D

raft

ing t

he T

hesi

sIn

an

ess

ay, t

he

thes

is s

tate

men

t, o

r th

esis

, sta

tes

the

top

ic a

nd

th

e w

rite

r’s

mai

n id

ea

abo

ut

the

top

ic. I

t sh

ou

ld d

irec

tly

resp

on

d t

o t

he

qu

esti

on

or

dir

ecti

on

in t

he

pro

mp

t.

It s

ho

uld

als

o c

lear

ly t

ell y

ou

r re

ader

th

e co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

or

top

ic o

f yo

ur

essa

y. F

or

the

STA

AR

tes

t, t

his

mea

ns

mak

ing

a c

laim

th

at c

an b

e su

pp

ort

ed a

nd

arg

ued

.

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

You

r th

esis

sh

ou

ld r

esp

on

d t

o t

he

pro

mp

t d

irec

tly

and

mak

e a

tho

rou

gh

cla

im t

hat

can

b

e ar

gu

ed w

ith

rea

son

s an

d e

xam

ple

s. R

ead

th

is p

rom

pt

fro

m t

he

2014

STA

AR

tes

t.

Her

e is

a w

ork

ing

th

esis

fo

r th

e p

rom

pt.

Failure

can

inde

ed s

tren

gthe

n a

pers

on.

This

th

esis

do

es r

esp

on

d t

o t

he

pro

mp

t d

irec

tly.

Ho

wev

er, i

t is

no

t a

det

aile

d c

laim

, an

d it

is u

ncl

ear

wh

at t

he

wri

ter

inte

nd

s to

arg

ue

in t

he

essa

y. H

ere

is a

rev

isio

n o

f th

e th

esis

.

Failure

str

engt

hens

peo

ple

beca

use

it re

veals

wea

knes

ses

that

nee

d im

prov

emen

t an

d m

otivat

es p

eople

to t

ry h

arde

r.

This

th

esis

is m

ore

sp

ecifi

c. It

po

ints

ou

t th

e w

ay t

hat

th

e w

rite

r b

elie

ves

failu

re b

uild

s st

ren

gth

. It

dir

ectl

y re

spo

nd

s to

th

e p

rom

pt

and

mak

es a

sp

ecifi

c cl

aim

th

at c

an b

e ar

gu

ed. A

go

od

th

esis

will

incl

ud

e a

“bec

ause

” ty

pe

of

exp

lan

atio

n o

f th

e is

sue.

It is

go

od

to

th

ink

abo

ut

you

r th

esis

as

a w

ork

ing

th

esis

an

d n

ot

the

fin

al t

hes

is f

or

the

essa

y. A

s yo

u p

lan

an

d d

raft

yo

ur

com

po

siti

on

, yo

u m

ay n

eed

to

rev

ise

the

thes

is

slig

htl

y to

bet

ter

fit

you

r th

ou

gh

ts. I

t is

mu

ch e

asie

r to

rev

ise

you

r th

esis

to

bet

ter

fit

you

r es

say

than

to

rev

ise

you

r w

ho

le e

ssay

to

fit

you

r th

esis

.

WR

ITTE

N C

OM

PO

SIT

ION

: E

xpo

sito

ry

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

The

grea

test

glo

ry in

livi

ng li

es n

ot in

nev

er f

allin

g, b

ut in

get

ting

up

each

tim

e yo

u fa

ll.

—N

elso

n M

ande

la

Thin

k ca

refu

lly a

bout

the

fol

low

ing

ques

tion.

Can

fai

lure

mak

e yo

u st

rong

er?

Wri

te a

n es

say

expl

aini

ng w

heth

er f

ailu

re c

an s

tren

gthe

n a

pers

on.

ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

I, 2

014

105

C

om

po

siti

on

Skil

l ■

An

alyz

ing

Pro

mp

t

In t

he

spac

e b

elo

w t

he

pro

mp

t, w

rite

yo

ur

tho

ug

hts

in r

esp

on

se t

o t

he

pro

mp

t. D

on

’t

wo

rry

abo

ut

wri

tin

g c

om

ple

te s

ente

nce

s, a

nd

do

n’t

jud

ge

you

r id

eas

at t

his

po

int.

The

quot

e sa

ys o

verc

oming

failu

re is

the

“gre

ates

t glor

y in living

.” Th

e qu

estio

n fo

llowing

the

quot

e is a

sking

if p

eople

gain s

tren

gth

from

failin

g. T

he q

uote

implies

that

ove

rcom

ing

failu

res

lead

s to

gre

ater

suc

cess

late

r, an

d th

at c

ould b

e be

caus

e so

me

peop

le b

ecom

e st

rong

er a

fter

failin

g.

Gu

ided

Pra

ctic

eTh

e fo

llow

ing

pro

mp

t is

fro

m t

he

2013

STA

AR

tes

t.

1 F

irst

rea

d t

he

pro

mp

t. T

hen

use

th

e st

eps

you

’ve

lear

ned

to

an

alyz

e th

e p

rom

pt.

2 L

abel

eac

h p

art

of

the

pro

mp

t (t

he

qu

ota

tio

n, t

he

“Th

ink”

sta

tem

ent

or

qu

esti

on

, an

d t

he

wri

tin

g a

ssig

nm

ent)

.

3 U

sin

g y

ou

r o

wn

wo

rds,

res

tate

eac

h p

art

of

the

pro

mp

t in

th

e g

rap

hic

org

aniz

er

bel

ow

.

(1) Q

uote

:(2

) St

atem

ent

or Q

uest

ion:

(3) As

signm

ent:

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

Take

ris

ks.

Ask

big

que

stio

ns.

Don

’t b

e af

raid

to

mak

e m

ista

kes;

if y

ou

don’

t m

ake

mis

take

s, y

ou’re

not

reac

hing

far

eno

ugh.

—D

avid

Pac

kard

, co

-fou

nder

of H

ewle

tt-P

acka

rd

Taki

ng a

ris

k m

eans

act

ing

with

out

know

ing

whe

ther

the

out

com

e w

ill

be g

ood.

Thi

nk c

aref

ully

abo

ut t

his

stat

emen

t.

Wri

te a

n es

say

expl

aini

ng w

hy it

is s

omet

imes

nec

essa

ry t

o ta

ke a

cha

nce.

STA

AR

En

glis

h I,

201

3

(2)

(1) (3

)

quot

atio

n

“Thin

k” st

atem

ent

or q

uesti

on

assig

nmen

t

Sam

ple

answ

er: T

he

quot

e is

sayin

g th

at

you

have

to m

ake

mist

akes

in o

rder

to

achie

ve g

reat

thing

s.

Sam

ple

answ

er:

The

state

men

t de

fines

a ri

sk a

s do

ing

som

ethin

g wi

thou

t kno

wing

th

e ou

tcom

e. Th

is is

relat

ed to

the

quot

e, w

hich

says

to n

ot b

e af

raid

of m

istak

es.

Sam

ple

answ

er: T

he

assig

nmen

t is a

sking

m

e to

writ

e an

ess

ay

abou

t why

we

mus

t so

met

imes

take

ch

ance

s.

© Sirius Education SolutionsEnglish I EOC Writing ■ Composition105–106

106

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Com

posi

tion

Skill

2D

raft

ing t

he T

hesi

sIn

an

ess

ay, t

he

thes

is s

tate

men

t, o

r th

esis

, sta

tes

the

top

ic a

nd

th

e w

rite

r’s

mai

n id

ea

abo

ut

the

top

ic. I

t sh

ou

ld d

irec

tly

resp

on

d t

o t

he

qu

esti

on

or

dir

ecti

on

in t

he

pro

mp

t.

It s

ho

uld

als

o c

lear

ly t

ell y

ou

r re

ader

th

e co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

or

top

ic o

f yo

ur

essa

y. F

or

the

STA

AR

tes

t, t

his

mea

ns

mak

ing

a c

laim

th

at c

an b

e su

pp

ort

ed a

nd

arg

ued

.

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

You

r th

esis

sh

ou

ld r

esp

on

d t

o t

he

pro

mp

t d

irec

tly

and

mak

e a

tho

rou

gh

cla

im t

hat

can

b

e ar

gu

ed w

ith

rea

son

s an

d e

xam

ple

s. R

ead

th

is p

rom

pt

fro

m t

he

2014

STA

AR

tes

t.

Her

e is

a w

ork

ing

th

esis

fo

r th

e p

rom

pt.

Failure

can

inde

ed s

tren

gthe

n a

pers

on.

This

th

esis

do

es r

esp

on

d t

o t

he

pro

mp

t d

irec

tly.

Ho

wev

er, i

t is

no

t a

det

aile

d c

laim

, an

d it

is u

ncl

ear

wh

at t

he

wri

ter

inte

nd

s to

arg

ue

in t

he

essa

y. H

ere

is a

rev

isio

n o

f th

e th

esis

.

Failure

str

engt

hens

peo

ple

beca

use

it re

veals

wea

knes

ses

that

nee

d im

prov

emen

t an

d m

otivat

es p

eople

to t

ry h

arde

r.

This

th

esis

is m

ore

sp

ecifi

c. It

po

ints

ou

t th

e w

ay t

hat

th

e w

rite

r b

elie

ves

failu

re b

uild

s st

ren

gth

. It

dir

ectl

y re

spo

nd

s to

th

e p

rom

pt

and

mak

es a

sp

ecifi

c cl

aim

th

at c

an b

e ar

gu

ed. A

go

od

th

esis

will

incl

ud

e a

“bec

ause

” ty

pe

of

exp

lan

atio

n o

f th

e is

sue.

It is

go

od

to

th

ink

abo

ut

you

r th

esis

as

a w

ork

ing

th

esis

an

d n

ot

the

fin

al t

hes

is f

or

the

essa

y. A

s yo

u p

lan

an

d d

raft

yo

ur

com

po

siti

on

, yo

u m

ay n

eed

to

rev

ise

the

thes

is

slig

htl

y to

bet

ter

fit

you

r th

ou

gh

ts. I

t is

mu

ch e

asie

r to

rev

ise

you

r th

esis

to

bet

ter

fit

you

r es

say

than

to

rev

ise

you

r w

ho

le e

ssay

to

fit

you

r th

esis

.

WR

ITTE

N C

OM

PO

SIT

ION

: E

xpo

sito

ry

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

The

grea

test

glo

ry in

livi

ng li

es n

ot in

nev

er f

allin

g, b

ut in

get

ting

up

each

tim

e yo

u fa

ll.

—N

elso

n M

ande

la

Thin

k ca

refu

lly a

bout

the

fol

low

ing

ques

tion.

Can

fai

lure

mak

e yo

u st

rong

er?

Wri

te a

n es

say

expl

aini

ng w

heth

er f

ailu

re c

an s

tren

gthe

n a

pers

on.

ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

I, 2

014

105

C

om

po

siti

on

Skil

l ■

An

alyz

ing

Pro

mp

t

In t

he

spac

e b

elo

w t

he

pro

mp

t, w

rite

yo

ur

tho

ug

hts

in r

esp

on

se t

o t

he

pro

mp

t. D

on

’t

wo

rry

abo

ut

wri

tin

g c

om

ple

te s

ente

nce

s, a

nd

do

n’t

jud

ge

you

r id

eas

at t

his

po

int.

The

quot

e sa

ys o

verc

oming

failu

re is

the

“gre

ates

t glor

y in living

.” Th

e qu

estio

n fo

llowing

the

quot

e is a

sking

if p

eople

gain s

tren

gth

from

failin

g. T

he q

uote

implies

that

ove

rcom

ing

failu

res

lead

s to

gre

ater

suc

cess

late

r, an

d th

at c

ould b

e be

caus

e so

me

peop

le b

ecom

e st

rong

er a

fter

failin

g.

Gu

ided

Pra

ctic

eTh

e fo

llow

ing

pro

mp

t is

fro

m t

he

2013

STA

AR

tes

t.

1 F

irst

rea

d t

he

pro

mp

t. T

hen

use

th

e st

eps

you

’ve

lear

ned

to

an

alyz

e th

e p

rom

pt.

2 L

abel

eac

h p

art

of

the

pro

mp

t (t

he

qu

ota

tio

n, t

he

“Th

ink”

sta

tem

ent

or

qu

esti

on

, an

d t

he

wri

tin

g a

ssig

nm

ent)

.

3 U

sin

g y

ou

r o

wn

wo

rds,

res

tate

eac

h p

art

of

the

pro

mp

t in

th

e g

rap

hic

org

aniz

er

bel

ow

.

(1) Q

uote

:(2

) St

atem

ent

or Q

uest

ion:

(3) As

signm

ent:

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

Take

ris

ks.

Ask

big

que

stio

ns.

Don

’t b

e af

raid

to

mak

e m

ista

kes;

if y

ou

don’

t m

ake

mis

take

s, y

ou’re

not

reac

hing

far

eno

ugh.

—D

avid

Pac

kard

, co

-fou

nder

of H

ewle

tt-P

acka

rd

Taki

ng a

ris

k m

eans

act

ing

with

out

know

ing

whe

ther

the

out

com

e w

ill

be g

ood.

Thi

nk c

aref

ully

abo

ut t

his

stat

emen

t.

Wri

te a

n es

say

expl

aini

ng w

hy it

is s

omet

imes

nec

essa

ry t

o ta

ke a

cha

nce.

STA

AR

En

glis

h I,

201

3

(2)

(1) (3

)

quot

atio

n

“Thin

k” st

atem

ent

or q

uesti

on

assig

nmen

t

Sam

ple

answ

er: T

he

quot

e is

sayin

g th

at

you

have

to m

ake

mist

akes

in o

rder

to

achie

ve g

reat

thing

s.

Sam

ple

answ

er:

The

state

men

t de

fines

a ri

sk a

s do

ing

som

ethin

g wi

thou

t kno

wing

th

e ou

tcom

e. Th

is is

relat

ed to

the

quot

e, w

hich

says

to n

ot b

e af

raid

of m

istak

es.

Sam

ple

answ

er: T

he

assig

nmen

t is a

sking

m

e to

writ

e an

ess

ay

abou

t why

we

mus

t so

met

imes

take

ch

ance

s.

© Sirius Education SolutionsEnglish I EOC Writing ■ Composition105–106

108

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Com

posi

tion

Skill

3D

evelo

pin

g S

upport

ing

Ideas

and E

vid

ence

On

ce y

ou

hav

e d

raft

ed y

ou

r th

esis

, yo

u w

ill n

eed

to

dev

elo

p id

eas

and

use

exa

mp

les

or

evid

ence

to

su

pp

ort

th

em. Y

ou

r id

eas

are

tho

ug

hts

th

at a

re r

elat

ed t

o y

ou

r th

esis

an

d

that

exp

lain

it in

a s

pec

ific

way

. Yo

ur

exam

ple

s an

d e

vid

ence

are

det

ails

fro

m y

ou

r o

wn

ex

per

ien

ce o

r fr

om

wh

at y

ou

kn

ow

. Eac

h id

ea s

ho

uld

ela

bo

rate

on

th

e th

esis

, an

d y

ou

r ex

amp

les

and

evi

den

ce s

ho

uld

su

pp

ort

yo

ur

idea

s.

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

A s

imp

le o

utl

ine

is a

n e

ffec

tive

way

to

pla

n y

ou

r id

eas

and

th

ink

abo

ut

som

e ex

amp

les

and

evi

den

ce t

o u

se.

Rea

d t

his

par

t o

f th

e co

mp

osi

tio

n p

rom

pt

fro

m t

he

2014

STA

AR

tes

t:

Aft

er y

ou

hav

e d

raft

ed a

th

esis

th

at r

esp

on

ds

to t

his

qu

esti

on

, yo

u s

ho

uld

th

ink

abo

ut

the

maj

or

idea

s yo

u c

an p

rese

nt

to s

up

po

rt y

ou

r th

esis

. Yo

u n

eed

on

ly a

s m

any

bo

dy

par

agra

ph

s as

it t

akes

to

fu

lly e

xpla

in y

ou

r th

esis

, bu

t m

ost

hig

h-s

cori

ng

ess

ays

con

tain

tw

o o

r th

ree

bo

dy

par

agra

ph

s. T

her

efo

re, t

ry t

o c

om

e u

p w

ith

at

leas

t tw

o o

r th

ree

sep

arat

e id

eas

that

are

rel

ated

to

an

d s

up

po

rt y

ou

r th

esis

. Eac

h id

ea w

ill b

e th

e co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

fo

r o

ne

of

you

r b

od

y p

arag

rap

hs.

Thes

is:

Failure

str

engt

hens

peo

ple

beca

use

it re

veals

wea

knes

ses

that

nee

d im

prov

emen

t an

d m

otivat

es p

eople

to t

ry h

arde

r.

Idea

1:

Failure

rev

eals

wea

knes

ses

by h

elping

us

see

wha

t we

cann

ot d

o well.

Idea

2:

Failure

is a

neg

ative

feeling, a

nd p

eople

ofte

n do

not

wan

t to

fee

l like

failu

res, s

o th

ey t

ry h

arde

r.

Nex

t, y

ou

will

nee

d e

vid

ence

to

su

pp

ort

th

e co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

of

each

par

agra

ph

. Ev

iden

ce c

an c

om

e fr

om

yo

ur

per

son

al e

xper

ien

ce. I

t ca

n a

lso

co

me

fro

m y

ou

r kn

ow

led

ge

of

oth

er s

ub

ject

s, s

uch

as

scie

nce

an

d s

oci

al s

tud

ies.

Fin

ally

, evi

den

ce c

an

com

e fr

om

a lo

gic

al a

rgu

men

t th

at y

ou

mak

e ab

ou

t th

e to

pic

.

Loo

k at

Idea

1:

Failure

rev

eals

wea

knes

ses

by h

elping

us

see

wha

t we

cann

ot d

o well.

Her

e is

a p

iece

of

evid

ence

fro

m a

per

son

al e

xper

ien

ce t

hat

su

pp

ort

s th

is id

ea:

I failed

to g

et a

sta

rting

spot

on

the

base

ball te

am b

ecau

se I

could

not

stop

lin

e dr

ives

ver

y well.

Thin

k ca

refu

lly a

bout

the

fol

low

ing

ques

tion.

Can

fai

lure

mak

e yo

u st

rong

er?

STA

AR

En

glis

h I,

201

4

107

C

om

po

siti

on

Skil

l ■

Thes

is

Gu

ided

Pra

ctic

eR

ead

th

is p

rom

pt

fro

m t

he

2013

STA

AR

tes

t.

Imp

rovin

g a

Th

esi

s St

ate

me

nt

No

w r

ead

eac

h t

hes

is s

tate

men

t b

elo

w a

nd

th

ink

abo

ut

ho

w it

co

uld

be

imp

rove

d t

o r

esp

on

d b

ette

r to

th

e p

rom

pt,

be

mo

re d

etai

led

, or

bo

th.

Wri

te a

rev

ised

th

esis

on

th

e lin

es b

elo

w e

ach

th

esis

sta

tem

ent.

1.

Thes

is: I

t is

oft

en n

eces

sary

to

tak

e ri

sks,

fro

m b

ig t

o s

mal

l, in

life

.

2.

Thes

is: M

ista

kes

are

imp

ort

ant

bec

ause

th

ey s

ho

w p

eop

le w

hat

th

ey h

ave

left

to

le

arn

.

3.

Thes

is: W

e ca

n n

ever

kn

ow

if o

ur

dec

isio

ns

will

tu

rn o

ut

to b

enefi

t o

r h

arm

us.

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

Take

ris

ks.

Ask

big

que

stio

ns.

Don

’t b

e af

raid

to

mak

e m

ista

kes;

if y

ou

don’

t m

ake

mis

take

s, y

ou’re

not

reac

hing

far

eno

ugh.

—D

avid

Pac

kard

, co

-fou

nder

of H

ewle

tt-P

acka

rd

Taki

ng r

isks

mea

ns n

ot k

now

ing

whe

ther

the

out

com

e w

ill b

e go

od.

Thin

k ca

refu

lly

abou

t th

is s

tate

men

t.

Wri

te a

n es

say

expl

aini

ng w

hy it

is s

omet

imes

nec

essa

ry t

o ta

ke a

cha

nce.

STA

AR

En

glis

h I,

201

3

Sam

ple

answ

er: I

t is n

eces

sary

to ta

ke b

oth

big

and

small

risk

s in

life

in o

rder

to a

chiev

e di

fficu

lt go

als.

Sam

ple

answ

er: I

t is n

eces

sary

to ta

ke ch

ance

s som

etim

es b

ecau

se,

othe

rwise

, peo

ple

will n

ot m

ake

the

mist

akes

that

show

them

wha

t th

ey st

ill ha

ve le

ft to

lear

n.

Sam

ple

answ

er: T

aking

a ch

ance

is im

porta

nt b

ecau

se it

teac

hes

peop

le to

trus

t the

mse

lves,

to tr

y new

thin

gs a

nd le

arn

new

thing

s.

© Sirius Education Solutions Composition Skill ■ Supporting Ideas 107–108

106–107


116

En

gli

sh I

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Org

an

izin

g Y

ou

r Id

ea

s an

d E

xam

ple

s U

se t

his

ch

art

to o

rgan

ize

and

dev

elo

p id

eas

and

exa

mp

les

for

you

r es

say.

Thes

is:

Para

gra

ph

1

INTR

OD

UC

TIO

N

Co

ntr

olli

ng

Idea

: Pa

rag

rap

h 2

Exam

ple

:

Exp

lan

atio

n:

BO

DY

TRA

NSI

TIO

N

Co

ntr

olli

ng

Idea

: Pa

rag

rap

h 3

(op

tio

nal

)

Exam

ple

:

Exp

lan

atio

n:

BO

DY

TRA

NSI

TIO

N

Co

ntr

olli

ng

Idea

: Pa

rag

rap

h 4

(op

tio

nal

)

Exam

ple

:

Exp

lan

atio

n:

BO

DY

Res

tate

Th

esis

: Fi

nal

Par

agra

ph

CO

NC

LUSI

ON

115

C

om

po

siti

on

■ P

ract

ice

Pro

mpt

1Co

mpo

sitio

n Pr

actic

e

Bra

inst

orm

Id

ea

sW

rite

do

wn

an

y th

ou

gh

ts a

nd

idea

s yo

u h

ave

in r

esp

on

se t

o t

he

pro

mp

t. D

on

’t w

orr

y ab

ou

t w

riti

ng

co

mp

lete

sen

ten

ces.

An

d d

on

’t ju

dg

e yo

ur

idea

s—ye

t. A

fter

yo

u t

hin

k o

f a

few

idea

s, r

ead

th

rou

gh

th

em a

nd

loo

k fo

r o

ne

that

an

swer

s th

e p

rom

pt,

mak

es a

n

arg

um

ent

or

clai

m, a

nd

is a

n id

ea y

ou

th

ink

you

can

dev

elo

p in

to a

fu

ll es

say.

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

Imag

inat

ion

will

oft

en c

arry

us

to w

orld

s th

at n

ever

wer

e.

But

with

out

it w

e go

now

here

.

—C

arl S

agan

Thin

k ca

refu

lly a

bout

the

fol

low

ing

ques

tion.

Wha

t ro

le d

oes

imag

inat

ion

play

in li

fe?

Wri

te a

n es

say

expl

aini

ng t

he r

ole

imag

inat

ion

has

in a

per

son’

s lif

e.

Be

sure

to

—•

clea

rly

stat

e yo

ur t

hesi

s•

orga

nize

and

dev

elop

you

r id

eas

effe

ctiv

ely

• ch

oose

you

r w

ords

car

eful

ly•

edit

your

wri

ting

for

gram

mar

, m

echa

nics

, an

d sp

ellin

g

© Sirius Education Solutions Composition ■ Practice 115–116


117

C

om

po

siti

on

■ P

ract

ice

Wri

te y

ou

r es

say

in t

he

bo

x b

elo

w. D

o n

ot

add

lin

es in

sid

e th

e b

ox

or

wri

te o

uts

ide

the

bo

x.

Ch

eck

to m

ake

sure

yo

ur

essa

y h

as a

cle

ar t

hes

is s

tate

men

t i

n e

ach

bo

dy

par

agra

ph

, a c

on

tro

llin

g id

ea t

hat

su

pp

ort

s th

e th

esis

in

eac

h b

od

y p

arag

rap

h, e

xam

ple

s an

d e

vid

ence

su

pp

ort

ing

th

e p

arag

rap

h’s

co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

tra

nsi

tio

ns

bet

wee

n y

ou

r id

eas

a c

on

clu

din

g p

arag

rap

h o

r th

ou

gh

t

117

C

om

po

siti

on

■ P

ract

ice

Wri

te y

ou

r es

say

in t

he

bo

x b

elo

w. D

o n

ot

add

lin

es in

sid

e th

e b

ox

or

wri

te o

uts

ide

the

bo

x.

Ch

eck

to m

ake

sure

yo

ur

essa

y h

as a

cle

ar t

hes

is s

tate

men

t i

n e

ach

bo

dy

par

agra

ph

, a c

on

tro

llin

g id

ea t

hat

su

pp

ort

s th

e th

esis

in

eac

h b

od

y p

arag

rap

h, e

xam

ple

s an

d e

vid

ence

su

pp

ort

ing

th

e p

arag

rap

h’s

co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

tra

nsi

tio

ns

bet

wee

n y

ou

r id

eas

a c

on

clu

din

g p

arag

rap

h o

r th

ou

gh

t

© Sirius Education SolutionsEnglish I EOC Writing ■ Composition117

Exam

ple

of a

3–4

poi

nt e

ssay

:

Ever

ythin

g we

hav

e cre

ated

, fro

m w

oode

n sh

ips t

hous

ands

of y

ears

ago

to ro

botic

ro

vers

curre

ntly

expl

orin

g ot

her p

lanet

s, sta

rted

in so

meo

ne’s

imag

inatio

n. Im

agina

tion

is im

porta

nt fo

r its

abilit

y to

inspi

re p

eopl

e to

mak

e th

eir id

eas c

ome

to lif

e.Th

e Fo

undi

ng Fa

ther

s im

agin

ed a

coun

try th

at w

as ru

led lik

e a

dem

ocra

cy in

stead

of

a m

onar

chy.

They

had

man

y ide

als, s

uch

as h

avin

g a

free

pres

s or p

eopl

e ha

ving

the

freed

om to

choo

se th

eir re

ligio

n, th

at th

ey w

ished

wou

ld co

me

true.

As a

resu

lt,

they

wer

e in

spire

d an

d de

dica

ted

to m

akin

g th

eir id

eal c

ount

ry a

reali

ty, a

nd th

e Un

ited

Stat

es o

f Am

erica

was

eve

ntua

lly fo

unde

d.An

othe

r per

son

with

a lo

t of i

mag

inat

ion

was S

teve

Jobs

. He

foun

ded

Appl

e Co

mpu

ters

in th

e 19

70s,

and

was r

espo

nsib

le fo

r the

iMac

, iPo

d, iP

hone

, iPa

d, a

nd

othe

r tec

hnol

ogica

l dev

ices t

hat h

ave

shap

ed h

ow p

eopl

e co

mm

unica

te, w

ork,

and

pl

ay. I

mag

inat

ion

play

ed a

n im

porta

nt ro

le in

Jobs

’ life

bec

ause

it h

elped

him

thin

k of

the

thin

gs h

is co

mpa

ny w

ould

bui

ld a

nd se

ll. In

fact

, mos

t cre

ative

peo

ple

from

so

ngw

riter

s to

film

dire

ctor

s nee

d im

agin

atio

n in

ord

er to

help

them

do

their

jobs

.Im

agin

atio

n ca

n so

met

imes

lead

to d

aydr

eam

ing

and

wasti

ng ti

me,

but

eve

n th

ose

thin

gs a

re im

porta

nt fo

r a h

ealth

y min

d. Im

agin

atio

n lea

ds to

insp

iratio

n an

d de

term

inat

ion,

and

man

y of o

ur so

cial a

nd te

chno

logi

cal a

dvan

ces o

we a

larg

e de

bt

to im

agin

atio

n.

Ratio

nale

: The

thes

is se

nten

ce cl

early

stat

es th

e ro

le im

agin

atio

n pl

ays i

n lif

e. E

ach

body

par

agra

ph

is fo

cuse

d to

elab

orat

e m

ore

on th

is lin

k. In

the

first

bod

y par

agra

ph, t

he w

riter

lead

s with

a

hist

orica

l exa

mpl

e an

d at

the

end

of th

e pa

ragr

aph

ties t

his e

xam

ple

to th

e th

esis.

The

firs

t sen

tenc

e

of th

e th

ird p

arag

raph

act

s as a

tran

sitio

n be

twee

n pa

ragr

aphs

and

furth

er e

labor

ates

on

the

thes

is of

the

essa

y. Th

e co

nclu

sion

briefl

y ack

now

ledg

es th

e co

unte

r-arg

umen

t to

imag

inat

ion

and

prog

ress

bef

ore

rest

atin

g th

e m

ain id

ea.

Exam

ple

of a

1–2

poi

nt e

ssay

:

Imag

inat

ion

is go

od. W

e wo

uld

not h

ave

Star

War

s or o

ther

scien

ce fi

ctio

n m

ovies

. Th

e pe

ople

who

disc

over

ed fl

ying

had

a lo

t im

agin

atio

n an

d no

w w

e fly

plan

es a

ll ov

er th

e wo

rld. I

mag

inat

ion

is a

grea

t gift

, like

willp

ower

.Th

e Fo

undi

ng Fa

ther

s im

agin

e a

coun

try lik

e th

e u.

s. Th

e Ki

ng o

f Eng

land

did

not

have

imag

inat

ion

and

did

not w

ant A

mer

ican

inde

pend

ence

. But

imag

inat

ion

help

ed

Geor

ge W

ashi

ngto

n ju

st as

it h

elped

Stev

e Jo

bs cr

eate

the

iPho

ne a

nd m

ake

Appl

e on

e of

the

riche

st co

mpa

nies

in th

e wo

rld.

Whe

n I w

as e

leven

, I in

vent

ed a

mac

hine

for m

y scie

nce

fair.

It m

ade

donu

ts w

ith

holes

that

has

diff

eren

t sha

pes.

My m

om w

as p

roud

of a

nd sa

id I

was i

mag

inat

ion.

M

y tea

cher

said

he

woul

d do

nuts

with

hol

es o

r tria

ngles

or s

tars.

But

I di

d no

t win

. Bu

t my m

om sa

id I

had

imag

inat

ion.

Ratio

nale

: The

thes

is st

ates

that

imag

inat

ion

is a

“gre

at g

ift,”

but t

his i

s not

dire

ctly

relat

ed to

the

prom

pt a

nd is

also

vagu

e. S

imila

rly, t

he o

rgan

izatio

nal s

truct

ure

is w

eak

beca

use

the

main

idea

s

for e

ach

para

grap

h ar

e ei

ther

miss

ing

or n

ot cl

early

stat

ed. T

he st

uden

t trie

s to

use

an e

xam

ple

from

hist

ory i

n th

e se

cond

par

agra

ph, b

ut th

e lac

k of

focu

s and

abr

upt s

witc

h to

an

exam

ple

abou

t

Stev

e Jo

bs h

urts

the

para

grap

h’s c

oher

ence

. The

last

par

agra

ph a

ttem

pts t

o us

e a

pers

onal

exam

ple

relat

ed to

the

topi

c, bu

t it g

ives d

etail

s in

an ill

ogica

l seq

uenc

e th

at a

ffect

the

cohe

renc

e an

d cla

rity.

Also

, the

re is

no

rest

atem

ent o

f the

thes

is or

fina

l con

clusio

n.


9 781943 008063

2016 UPDATE

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3: Composition SkillsSkill InstructionPractice

ENGLISH I EOC WRITING CONTENTS

Visit SiriusEducationSolutions.com for additional STAAR EOC resources.

Includes one Skill lesson and one Practice set for each tested section.

© S

irius

Edu

catio

n So

lutio

ns

1 A DB C

2 F JG H

3 A DB C

4 F JG H

5 A DB C

6 F JG H

7 A DB C

8 F JG H

9 A DB C

10 F JG H

11 A DB C

12 F JG H

13 A DB C

14 F JG H

15 A DB C

16 F JG H

17 A DB C

18 F JG H

19 A DB C

20 F JG H

21 A DB C

22 F JG H

23 A DB C

24 F JG H

25 A DB C

Name Class Date

STAAR English I EOC Practice Test A Student Answer Sheet

26 F JG H

27 A DB C

28 F JG H

29 A DB C

30 F JG H

31 A DB C

32 F JG H

33 A DB C

34 F JG H

35 A DB C

36 F JG H

37 A DB C

38 F JG H

39 A DB C

40 F JG H

41 A DB C

42 F JG H

43 A DB C

44 F JG H

45 A DB C

46 F JG H

47 A DB C

48 F JG H

49 A DB C

50 F JG H

© S

irius

Edu

catio

n So

lutio

ns

1 A DB C

2 F JG H

3 A DB C

4 F JG H

5 A DB C

6 F JG H

7 A DB C

8 F JG H

9 A DB C

10 F JG H

11 A DB C

12 F JG H

13 A DB C

14 F JG H

15 A DB C

16 F JG H

17 A DB C

18 F JG H

19 A DB C

20 F JG H

21 A DB C

22 F JG H

23 A DB C

24 F JG H

25 A DB C

Name Class Date

STAAR English I EOC Practice Test A Student Answer Sheet

26 F JG H

27 A DB C

28 F JG H

29 A DB C

30 F JG H

31 A DB C

32 F JG H

33 A DB C

34 F JG H

35 A DB C

36 F JG H

37 A DB C

38 F JG H

39 A DB C

40 F JG H

41 A DB C

42 F JG H

43 A DB C

44 F JG H

45 A DB C

46 F JG H

47 A DB C

48 F JG H

49 A DB C

50 F JG H


STAAR® ENGLISH I EOCPractice Test—Form B


STAAR® ENGLISH I EOCPractice Test—Form A


STAAR® ENGLISH I EOCPractice Tests—Forms A & BTeacher’s Edition

Table of Contents

Form A Answer Key 1 Form A Explanations 2

Form B Answer Key 11 Form B Explanations 12

Form A Answer Sheet 20

Form B Answer Sheet 21

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STAAR English I Practice Test – Form A Answer Key

© Sirius Education Solutions 1

Item Number

Reporting Category

Readiness or Supporting

Content Student Expectation

Correct Answer

1 5 Readiness E1.13(C) C 2 5 Readiness E1.13(C) F 3 5 Readiness E1.13(C) A 4 5 Supporting E1.15(A) J 5 5 Supporting E1.15(A) B 6 5 Supporting E1.15(A) J 7 5 Supporting E1.16(A) D 8 5 Readiness E1.13(C) G 9 5 Supporting E1.16(A) A 10 5 Readiness E1.13(C) G 11 5 Supporting E1.16(D) D 12 6 Supporting E1.18(B) G 13 6 Readiness E1.18(A) C 14 6 Readiness E1.13(D) H 15 6 Readiness E1.18(B) D 16 6 Readiness E1.17(C) F 17 6 Readiness E1.13(D) B 18 6 Readiness E1.17(C) F 19 6 Readiness E1.19(A) D 20 6 Supporting E1.17(A) H 21 6 Readiness E1.13(D) C 22 6 Readiness E1.19(A) F

Prompt 4 Readiness E1.16(A) * 23 1 Readiness E1.1(B) B 24 2 Readiness E1.5(A) H 25 2 Readiness E1.5 Fig. 19(B) A 26 2 Supporting E5(C) H 27 2 Readiness E1.7 Fig. 19(B) D 28 2 Readiness E1.7 Fig. 19(B) F 29 3 Readiness E1.9(C) D 30 3 Supporting E1.9(B) G 31 3 Readiness E1.8(A) D 32 3 Readiness E1.8(A) H 33 3 Supporting E1.11(A) C 34 1 Readiness Fig. 19(B) H 35 1 Readiness Fig. 19(B) D 36 1 Readiness Fig. 19(B) F 37 1 Readiness Fig. 19(B) B

Short Answer 1 Readiness Fig. 19(B) * 38 1 Readiness E1.1(E) F 39 2 Supporting E1.3 Fig. 19(B) C 40 2 Supporting E1.7 Fig. 19(B) F 41 2 Supporting E1.2 Fig. 19(B) B 42 2 Supporting E1.7(A) H 43 2 Supporting E1.3 Fig. 19(B) A 44 2 Supporting E1.3(A) J 45 3 Readiness E1.8(A) B 46 3 Supporting E1.10 Fig. 19(B) H 47 3 Readiness E1.8(A) A 48 3 Supporting E1.11 Fig. 19(B) H 49 3 Readiness E1.8(A) D 50 3 Supporting E1.10(A) H

Short Answer 1 Readiness Fig. 19(B) *

STAAR English I Practice Test – Form A Explanations

2 © Sirius Education Solutions

1 B Correct. Ella’s words and actions show that she is angry and that she’s determined not to let Lola “get away with” missing the play by pretending to be sick. A Readers do not learn this fact until later in the story. C Ella is certain that Lola is faking her illness. D Ella’s actions, such as slamming the door in Pam and Paula’s faces, show that she is unconcerned with how the family will react.

2 H Correct. The sentence shows that

Lola is such a fiercely determined character that she even has a motto stating that she does not give up. F This sentence gives readers insight into Ella’s character, not Lola’s. G It is uncharacteristic of Lola to admit defeat. This sentence suggests that Lola might give up, not that she will decide to perform. J This sentence shows Lola’s inner conflict. Readers cannot guess from this statement which path Lola will choose.

3 D Correct. Slamming the door, throwing her bag, interrupting Lola, yanking the blanket off her, and her blunt words clearly contrast with Ella’s usual shy, polite, and well-mannered character and create tension. A Lola is surprised by Ella’s argumentative words and actions, which shows the girls probably do not often argue. B No details about Lola’s personality are given in these paragraphs. C These paragraphs show that Ella is upset but not why.

4 F Correct. Ella reminds Lola of the

essential parts of her character—her “never say die” attitude, her passion for art, and her strength as an actor. Her reminder influences Lola to perform in the play.

G Nowhere in the story does Lola question her friendship with Ella, despite Ella’s uncharacteristic behavior. H Ella reminds Lola of her motto, but it is never stated or suggested that Lola will change it. J Ella reassures Lola that Lola is a better actor than Carla.

5 B Correct. Lola’s response to Ella’s comment, “You’re giving up,” is “I wish I’d done it when you wanted me to.” This tells us that Ella had tried earlier to get Lola to give up on the play. A The sentence does not relate to Ella trying to talk Lola out of being in the play. C The sentence states that Lola isn’t the type to give up, but it doesn’t suggest that Ella had ever tried to get her to give up. D The sentence shows that Lola has been

5 F Correct. The idiom “play the fool” means to act silly to make people laugh. Lola is afraid she will embarrass herself and people will laugh at her if she is in the play. G The words convey Lola’s hurt feelings, but not specifically with how Ella has treated her. H The paragraph shows that Lola is concerned with others’ reaction. She is worried that they will laugh at her. J The paragraph gives no indication of whether Lola is actually sick or not.

6 D Correct. In paragraph 29, Lola describes a life in which everyone is the same. She says that Lola taught her “that you can make life what you want.” A Ella states that people in Dellwood—including herself—are “never questioning anything.” B Ella indicates that Carla is selfish, but not that Carla ever teased her.

Includes student Answer Sheets

Full explanations

Student booklets

Teacher’s Edition

STAAR ENGLISH I EOC WRITING

Practice Tests Forms A & BTwo full-length authentic practice tests that match the STAAR blueprint and released test items.

Practice Tests are sold in 10-packs: 10 Form A & 10 Form B student booklets with bubble sheets, and 1 Teacher’s Edition

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