strategies for helping teenages with conflict
TRANSCRIPT
Strategies for Helping Teenagers with ConflictNorth Carolina School Counselor Association 2016 Annual ConferenceGreensboro, NC
Colleen Neuer, MS, LPCJonathan Ricks, PhD, NCC, LPCLicensed School Counselors
Session ObjectivesReview rationale for conflict-resolution programs
in 9-12 schoolsDiscuss the American School Counselor
Association National Standards for Students that address conflict-resolution skills
Examine research that defines conflict and factors related to conflict
Evaluate an assessment strategy for effective conflict-resolution skills
Describe problem solving/conflict resolution models
Provide conflict-resolution interventionsShare successful strategies used in NC schools
Why are we here?Small incidents and minor
disagreements can lead to serious violence among youth
Many students believe that when conflict arises they have no choice but to fight◦33% said when angry they felt
out of control◦41% said if challenged, they
would fight◦21% said avoiding fights was a
sign of weakness
Statistics tell the Story…. 2013
From a nationally representative sample of youth in grades 9-128.1% reported being in a physical fight
within 12 months of the survey7.1% reported not going to school for 1 or
more days due to feeling that it was unsafe5.2% reported carrying a weapon (gun,
knife, club)6.9% reported being threatened or injured
with a weapon 1 or more times on school property
19.6% reported being bullied on school property and 14.8% reported being cyber bullied.
The HeadlinesDelaware high school student
killed in bathroom attackBrutal attack of La Porte High
School student caught on videoIndianapolis High School Brawl:
Student Suspended For Attacking Faculty
4 Alabama high school students arrested after pregnant classmate attacked
ASCA Mindsets and Behaviors for Student Success (2014)
3 DomainsAcademic
DevelopmentCareer DevelopmentSocial/Emotional
Development
(ASCA, 2014)
2 Standards Categories• Category 1: Mindset
Standards• Category 2: Behavior
Standards• Learning Strategies• Self-management skills• Social Skills
Category 1: Mindset StandardsIncludes standards related to the psycho-social attitudes or beliefs students have about themselves in relation to academic work. These make up the students’ belief system as exhibited in behaviors.
(ASCA, 2014)
Conflict-ResolutionASCA Category 2: Behavior Standards
◦Learning Strategies Gather evidence and consider multiple
perspectives to make informed decisions* Demonstrate critical-thinking skills to make
informed decisions* ◦Self-management Skills
Demonstrate ability to assume responsibility* Demonstrate self-discipline and self control Demonstrate effective coping skills when faced
with a problem
(ASCA, 2014; NCDPI, 2012)
*Standard included in NC Guidance Essential Standards
◦ Social Skills Use effective oral and written communication skills and
listening skills* Create positive and supportive relationships with other
students Create relationships with adults that support success Demonstrate empathy Demonstrate ethical decision-making* and social
responsibility Use effective collaboration and cooperation skills Use leadership and teamwork skills to work effectively in
diverse teams Demonstrate advocacy skills and ability to assert self, when
necessary Demonstrate social maturity and behaviors appropriate to
the situation and environment
(ASCA, 2014; NCDPI, 2012)
*Standard included in NC Guidance Essential Standards
Erickson’s Theory5th StageIdentity vs. Identity Confusion“Who am I?”Autonomy (??? Rules/boundaries)Fitting in (Peer groups fulfill need for
validity and acceptance)Successful movement is not free from
rebellion but is marked by freedom from unhealthy/dangerous lifestyles.
Common Causes of ConflictCommunicationCompetitionInconsistencyDiversityPerspectiveInterdependencyEmotional Intelligence
(Scannell, 2010)
Other Types of ConflictTeacher/studentStudent/teacherParent/studentStudent/parentAdministration/teacherTeacher/AdministrationTeacher/Teacher
Train Your Staff!!!The closest contact with students
on a daily basis is teachersMany times, the teacher
determines if the situation escalates by their reaction
Relationship results in results!The staff’s ability to resolve
interpersonal conflict is as much a teaching tool as direct advice giving.
Conflict Management Style Survey (The Leadership Center at Washington State University)
Competing/ControllingAccommodating
AvoidingCollaboratingCompromising
What Works for You?
Conflict to CollaborationIgnoreWin-loseLose-winLose-loseWin-Win
(Scannell, 2010)
Preventative Strategies
Film clip
“The Water Boy”What conflict (s) did you see?What factors contributed to the
conflict?What was Adam Sandler’s
conflict style?What was the teachers conflict
style?How do you think their styles
contribute to the conflict?What would you do different as
the teacher? As the student?
Underclassmen vs. UpperclassmenRemember, most high school
students, by nature of human development, are narcissistic!
Stronger need for conflict resolution strategies in the the 9th and 10th grade (Classroom Guidance/Advisory Periods)
Peer support very effective at this grade level (use upper classmen)
Always de-escalate first!
Underclassmen Intervention“Conflict Close-Up”
Underclassmen Intervention“Conflict Close-Up”
What are some reasons you are standing where you are?
If where you are standing signifies your initial reaction, where might you stand after taking some time to think about the conflict?
What are some things that would cause you to move?
How might our reactions influence the course of the conflict?
Upperclassmen Intervention“On the Run”
Upperclassmen Intervention“On the Run”
What was challenging about this game?
Did you experience any conflict during the game, why or why not?
What could you have done differently?
How does it feel as a team to achieve success with a difficult task?
Responsive Strategies
Here’s an example of a typical conflictShalonda and Yania have been
dating for 3 months. As Yania was walking into her 3rd period history class, Gina walks by and looks at her and winks her eye at Yania. Yania didn’t realize Shalonda was standing at her locker and saw how excited Yania seemed after Gina’s wink. Shalonda shows up in your office ready to fight Gina. How do you respond?
The Crisis Cycle – Seven Main Phases of Escalating Behavior Model
(Galbraith, Nicksic-Springer, & O’Brien, 2007)
The Crisis Cycle – Seven Main Phases of Escalating Behavior Model1. Calm - the student is cooperative2. Trigger - Antecedents which are a series of
unresolved problems3. Agitation - the student is unfocused or non-
directed4. Acceleration - the student's behavior is directed
and engaging5. Peak - the student is out of control and creating
safety concerns6. De-Escalation - the student displays confused
behavior7. Recovery - the student is eager for busy work
and reluctant to discuss (Galbraith, Nicksic-Springer, & O’Brien, 2007)
Tips for Dealing with ConflictTake time to cool offThink about the person as a personKnow your aimTry to understand what the other
person is sayingFind something you can agree onBe specific about the problemNever assumeTry to forget the past and stay with the
present
Role of Peer Mediation Teens developmentally learn better from one another Students naturally have a better “pulse” on the source of conflict Develops leadership in the mediator Dual purpose in that you can strengthen skills in both the students in conflict and those helping them.
Sharing ActivityIn small groups, discuss strategies that you have found effective in teaching conflict-resolution skills or in responding to conflict.
Suggested Script
Do’s and Don’ts
ReferencesAmerican School Counselor Association. (2014).
Mindsets and Behaviors for Student Success: K-12 College and Career Readiness Standards for Every Student. Alexandria, VA: Author.
Galbraith, P., Nicksic-Springer, T., & O’Brien, S. (2007). Crisis Cycle. Salt Lake City, UT: University Health Care.
North Carolina Department of Public Instruction. (2012). Guidance Essential Standards. Raleigh, NC: Author.
Scannell, M. (2010). The Big Book of Conflict Resolution Games. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Helpful Conflict Resolution Resources
