Rev. Dr Ian Mavor

Born: 4th October 1938

Paradise Bound: 12 April 2015

S T O R I E S O F I A N

STORIESOFIAN-BettyBeverley

WhenI'irstmetIanandDeewewerelivinginthesamebuildingandtherewasasignupHospitalCare/PalliativeCarecometoameetinginIanandDee’sApartment.Wewerejustaboutreadytomoveout.WehadbeeninBayviewforawhileandweweremovingtoMainBeach.ItwasJune1994.

SoIwenttothismeetingintheirapartment,Ican’trememberhowmanypeopleweretherebuttherewereafewofus.Wewentintotheircrowdedapartmentwithbooksallaround.Thatwasmy'irstencounterwithIanandDee.AndIneverstoppedgoing.IkeptongoingtomeetingsandIhavegonetoeverymeetingsince.That’s21years.

Hopewellstartedin1993towardstheendoftheyearandIbecameinvolved.Ibecameinvolvedbecauseoftheexperienceofcaringformyfather-in-lawwhenhewasdying-aspecialexperience.

InbothIanandDeetherewasapassionforwhattheyweredoing.AndIknewnothingfromnothing.Ijustknewitwastherightplacetobe.Andthentheywentonandcreatedtheir'irstpalliativecarecourse.TheywerealreadyatHopeIsland.

WhatIrememberaboutIanishissolidness.Deewasthevisionary.Ianwasthesolidpresence.AtthattimehewasstillworkingfortheEducationDept.HewasattheHospiceparttime.Itwasallavisionandaprayer.

OneoftheworkshopswedidwasdowninCoolangattasomeyearslaterandIwashelpingDeewithmeals,andIcanrememberDeesparringwithIanandshewaschasinghimaroundthekitchen,yellingathimandwhatIrememberabouthimwasthatheletherchasehimandhispresencewassolidandhejustletherbatteragainsthim.ThatwasoneofIan’scharacteristics;hewouldlettheworldhitathimandthenjuststand'irm.Thatcanbebothagoodthingsometimes,andstubbornnesstotheenthdegreeanothertime.IhaveseenIaninboththosepositions.ThatisonethatIreallyremember.

AllIknowisovertheyears,IhaveseenmorethananythingelseinrelationtoIanandDeeishisgreatloveforDee,andthathewoulddoanythingforher.Andsoshecouldbatteragainsthim,shecouldrailagainsthim,swearathim,shecoulddoallofthosethingsbuthewouldstay,unaffectedisnottheword,holdingit.AndIrecognizethatbecause,inasense,Vincewasabitthesame.

Deeisthevisionary.DeewastheonewhogottheideasandgotthepeopleandIanwastheonethatbroughtitdownandplougheditforward.Andthat’showIseehim.

Hewasapeacemaker.Hehadgreatcompassion.Ifyouhadaproblemoryouneededtositandtalkhealwayshadasmile.Hewaswillingtositandtalk.Inpastoralcarepositionorwhatever.

ExperiencesIhavehadwithIanshowhiscompassion.In2000whenVincewasdyingandhewasinPindarahospital,IanandDeecameintothehospitalatPindaraandtheyjusttalkedandthenIansangthe23rdPsalmtoVince.AndIrememberthatitwassobeautiful.FromthetimethatVincegaveuphopetothetimehediedtherewereaboutsixtyhours.

AndIthinkwhatstruckmemorethananything,was,Ineverexpectedit,Ineveraskedforit,IanandDeecameintoPindarafromHopeIslandandIansangthe23rdPsalmandthenIanandDeeconductedVince’smemorialservice.Andhesangagainatthat.

Thefeelingthatevokesinmeisoneoftotalgratitudeandcaring–ofhimbeingtheGoodShepherd.Therewasneveraquestionof,‘Wellitwillcostyou$250’.Itwas,‘ThisisourgifttoyouandVince’.Andthat’sthewayIanoperated.That’sthewayhewas.

Again,whenmygrandsonneededtobechristenedtheywerelivinginPerth.TheywantedhimchristenedandIaskedIan.Noproblems,wehadthe'irstchristeningwhiletheywereoverhereonholidays.Againitwasthislovelyceremony.Ianinhisrobes,helookedratherfunnyinhisrobes,theywereabitshortforhim.Iwasalwaysimpressedwiththefactthatheputthemon.Hedidn’thavetobuthewasalwaysamanofGod.TherewasjoyinhimwhenhebaptizedHunter.

Andthenwhenmymotherdied,shediedhereintheHospice.Aftershehadpassed,mysonanddaughter-in-lawcameuptobewithmeandtheywerestilltakingcareofthebodydownattheHospice.WecameuptoIan’sof'iceandIanjustchatted.Hejustgently,compassionately,talked.Andthatwassosoothing.Thatwassuchabalmtothespirit.ThosearethethingsthatIreallyrememberabouthim.ThosearethegoodthingsthatIremember.

OneofIan’sgreatattributeswashisteaching.Hewasagreatteacher.Heintegratedit.Hewasabletoretainthisfromhereandthatfromthere,andputittogether.Hislosswillbegreatintheteachingforthecourseswerun.

Intheearliertimes,IanandDeewouldgiveupweekendsandnightstodothesecourses.Thatwasbig.Ifyou’reworkingfulltime,ifyou’reteaching,givingupyourweekends,that’sabigdrain.Butthat’swhattheytookon.Ianworkedveryhard.

Theydidnotdomanyweekends.We’ddothepalliativecarecoursewhichranoverthreeSaturdays.OvertheyearsIhavedoneeverycourseatleastonce,sometimestwiceorthreetimes.

Andwriting.IlovedhisWorshipandSpiritualitynotes.HoweversometimesIcouldn’tgettotheendofthem.Writingwashisjoy,andhelovedit.Atthe'irstmeetingoftheWorshipandSpiritualityGroupafterIandied,weusedatopicfromJuly,2007,andthenoteshehadpreparedforthatday.

IrememberallsortsofotherthingsaboutIan.Hewascompassionate.Hegotverydoggedinhisunderstandingofsomethingandhecouldn’tbemoved.

WhatIanwasverygoodatwasbeingapeacemaker.Soifyouarewithapeacemakeryouknowthathe’sgoingtotryandmakeyoufeelbetter.Whateveritisthat’sbuggingyouwillgoawayforawhilebutitisstillthere.Itdoesn’treallysolvethesituation.

Idon’tknowhowmanyChristmaseswehavegottothepointwherewe,asaBoard,consideredwhetherweshouldclosetheHospicedown.Weneverdid.WemanagedbythegraceofGod.There’sallthiswonderful,wonderfulworkthatgoeson.

ThingshavebeentougharoundhereduringthisyearsinceIandied.Wehaveallgainedorlostbecauseofit.Somepeoplehavegained.Othershavelost.WhatIandidwasabsolutelyvital.Rightnowthereisavacuum.Ianwasinclusiveandtotallypresent.Hisgoodnesswillliveoninthosehemet.

BettyBeverley

22/7/15

STORIESOFIAN-BevMcDonald

I#irstmetIanasDee’shusbandwhenweformedtheVenusGroup,whichwasaresultofustrainingtogetheratLifeline.WewerealsopartofDavidStreyton’scirclegroupandwestartedtodothingstogether.Thatwasthebeginningof1992.

IwenttoDeeandIan’sweddingatMtTambourinein1993.SometimeafterthatDeirdresaidshewantedtostartaHospice,andDeeandIaninvitedtheVenusGroupandacoupleofotherpeopletoameetingattheirplace.Ithoughtitwasunlikelytohappen.Iwentalongtothemeeting.Ididn’thavealottodowithIanatthattime.

TheexceptionwaswhenIanof#iciatedatmydaughter’sweddingandDeirdrewasthecelebrant.TheyhadaRobinHoodwedding.MydaughterwasMaidMarion.Thepersonwhowasgoingtomarrythemcouldn’tmakeitatthelastminute.SoDeirdreandIansteppedinandIanbecameFriarTuck!Helovedeverymomentofit.Amazingly,hekeptthatphoto.Idon’tthinkhe’deverdoneanythinglikethatinaministerialrolebefore.HewasFriarTuckfortheday.IwassurprisedwhenIcameintohisof#iceonedayandsawhehadthephotothere.MydaughterremindedIanoftheweddingwhenshestoodup,withherveilon,atthe“ThisIsYourLife”Celebrationforhim.

MostofmydealingswithIanwereattheHospice.Iusedtodoalotofvolunteerworkinthekitchen.IusedtoworkoutatHopeIslandonandoff.IanwastheDirectorofLifelineatthattimesohehardlyspentmuchtimethere.Hewaspresentatfunctions.ThenewHospiceopenedin2004andsixmonthsafteritopenedIstartedvolunteeringthereonFridayandIwouldspendtimewithdifferentresidents.Iwouldgivethemfootmassagesandchattothem.

ThethingthatstandsoutmostformeaboutIanwasthatwhenIwasinaroomwitharesidentandIanwalkedin,thepersonjustsuddenlychanged.Itwasliketheyfeltquiteblessedthathewalkedin.I’dseealovelysmileontheirface.Imighthavebeentalkingtothemandallofasuddenitwaslikeatransformation.AndIanwasjustsonatural.Hecouldcomeandgo–itwasalmostlikehelefthispresencebehindwhenhewent.Sotheamountoftimehewastheredidn’tseemasrelevantasthefactthatalovelypresencecameinwithhimandstayedafterhe’dgone.ThatwasmyexperiencewheneverIexperiencedhimcomingintoaroomwhenIwasthere.

Oncehe#inishedwithLifelinehewashereallthetime.Hewasaregularvisitorwhocamethroughtoseeeverybody.IwasonlyherealldayFriday.IanwasattheHospicealotandhedidgoandsingtopeople.

ThethingthatstandsoutmostwasthatIanwasalwaysveryeven.Ididn’teverseehighsandlows.Ialsosawtheeffecthehadontheresidents.Ithoughtitwasinterestingbecausesomeofthemwouldnothavebeenreligiousinanyshapeorform.Buttheystillrespondedtohim–hehadagiftwhenhewalkedin.

Therewasaresident,Noel,whohadabraintumor.Iwasclosetohim.HecameintotheHospicethinkinghehadtwomonths,andhe’dgiveneverythingheownedtohischildren.Itwashardforhimtostayalivefor14months,whenhethoughtheonlyhad2months.Thenwhenhedidstarttogodownhillandthedyingprocessbegan,IwaswithhimwhenIanwalkedin.NoelsaidtoIan“IthinkI’mdying”.Ianlookedhimstraightintheeyeandsaid,“Noelthisiswhatyou’vewantedallalongandnowit’shere.”IwasblownawaybecauseIcouldn’tthinkofaresponse.Ianwassoquickinthemomenttomeethimwiththat.Itwasamazing.

ThethingthatstoodoutoutthemostwasthatIanwasn’ttheslightestbitphased.Iwasalittlefearfulatthatmoment.ThethingisIdidn’twanttolosehimeither.Noelwasfearful,andIanmethimwherehewas,heremindedhim.WhathesaidtoNoelstaysinmymindamazingly,thatgentleacceptanceandalmostgivingpermissiontoNoel.

Ianalwaysbroughtinthemuf#ins.Iwasawarethatthemuf#inpeoplewantedtogivethemuf#insawaytosomewheretheycouldbeused.Ianreallydidn’twanttocollectthembuthedidn’taskanybodyelsetocollectthem.Becauseitwasagiftfromthemuf#inpeoplehealwayswenttocollectthemandbringthemback.Hewenteverydaybecausetheydidnotwanttosellyesterday’smuf#ins.

SometimesIworkedinthekitchenonaWednesdayandaFridaynightandtherewerealwaysmuf#insaround.Ithought,thisisthemanagingdirector,amanthathasalltheselettersafterhisname,hasbeenthedirectorofLifeline,andhegoesandgetsthemuf#ins.

WhenwehadheatwavesIanwastheonewhostoodoutandwateredalltheplantsforfearthey’dgetlost.TherewerevolunteersbutIanwouldstaybackandmakesuretheywerewatered.Itwasjusthishumbleness.Itwasliketherewasnothingthatwastooinsigni#icantforhimtodo.Thatshowedmethetypeofmanhewas.Itwashisgifttometowatchthat.

HetoldmeastoryonceaboutwhyDeirdregoesonthecruises.Hemusthavewantedtotalkaboutit.Hetoldmethestoryofaladywhohadhadcancerandhadtriedmanydifferentthings.Thenherspecialistsaid,“Well,whatdoyouwanttodobeforeyoudiebecauseyou’regoingtodie?”.Shesaid,“Maybegoonacruise.”Soshewentonthecruiseandsomehowhercancerdisappeared.Sheendedupworkingintheshoponacruiseship.Herhealthreturned.

IansaidthatDeirdrehadreadthatbookandidenti#iedwithitasawaytohealhercancer.IwaswithIanthroughhisdyingprocess.Surprisinglyenough,IwastheonlyoneoftheVenusGroupthereattheHospiceonthatFridayafternoon.Ithoughthewasgoingtodiethatafternoon,soIdecidedIwouldsitatthediningroomtableandwhenhegoes,I’llbehere.

Hedidn’tgoandDeirdresaid,“Comeandstayattheholidayhouseforthenight”.Isaid,“Idon’tthinkit’sappropriateasthisisfamilytime.Shesaid,“No,no,Ireallywantyoutocome,Iwantyoutobethere”.ShemeantitandIstayedupattheHolidayHousewiththefamily.MaybetherewassomecomfortinitforDee,notjustbeingthefamily.

Hersisterwasthere.Hersisterwaslovely.ItwasamazingthatIanheldonsolong.FinallyontheSundaymorningIwenthometogetachangeofclothesandthat’swhenhedied.Deirdrewasn’twithhimeither.

Hediedonwhatwouldhavebeenmygrandson,Jordan’s21stbirthday.Jordanwaskilledinacarcrash.SoonJordan’sbirthday,Ianwasontheotherside.IthoughthowweirditwasthatIwastherethroughthethreedays,whichwasnevermyoriginalintention.Itfeltsigni#icantnottobetherefortheend.

Itwasamazing.Icouldn’tbelieveitandIthankIanforgoingthen,onJordan’sbirthday.Thesynchronicitywasweird.OntheThursdaybeforehediedhesaidtoDeirdresomethinglike,‘IthinkI’mgoing’.That’swhenheactuallysaid,‘I’mwillingtogo’.

BevMcDonald

7/8/15

STORIESOFIAN-BrionyWauchope

I#irstknewIan15yearsagowhenIwasworkingforlifelineintheshop.HewasmybossandIknewhimquitewell.

MyniecehadababygirlandwaslivingatGilston,house-sittingonabigproperty.IaskedIanifhewoulddothechristeningandhedid.Itwasjustbeautiful.Itwasonabigbackpatioandthefamilywasallaround.HecameoutandchristenedOlivia.Sheis16½now.

MydaughterandherhusbandwerehomefromItalyandtheyweretheretoo.Itwasspecial.Ianwassuchakindman,alwayskind.

Itwas1996whenIstartedatLifelineandIanandDeeusedtotakeourcourses.TheLifelineof#icewasatBroadbeach.Wehadtododifferentcoursestobeshopmanagers.IleftLifelinein2001.

Imisshispresence.AsIwatchedtheDVDofhislifeattheWomen’sGroupIsawhimsingingandasIwatchedhisfacewhilesinging,‘I’llNeverWalkAlone’,Ibrokeintotears.Itwaslovelythat‘ThisIsYourLife’wasproducedbyJanBradnam.ShewaschairmanoftheBoardatLifelineinmyday.

BrionyWauchope

27/7/15

STORIES OF IAN - Carolyn Jackson

ImetIannineyearsagowhenI0irststartedatHopewellHospice,0irstlyasavolunteerthenasanassistantnurse.

Overtheyears,hebecamemyFather0igure,myprotector,mypastorandIrespectedhimgreatly.Ianwasalwaysthereforusinthehospiceandcameinregularlyandwheneverweneededhishelpandsupport.

Whennewresidentsarrived,hewouldtakeouthislittlenotebookfromhispocketandcarefullyaddtheresident’snameandtheirfamilymembers.Hethenintroducedhimselftothenewresidentandtheirfamily.Ianwouldcomedownwhentheresidentwaspassing,singtothem,‘TheLordisMyShepherd’,andsaysomespecialprayers.

WheneveryouspoketoIan,youfeltlikethemostimportantpersonintheworldandhewasalwaysinterestedinwhatyouhadtosay.

IattendedmanyofhisteachingpresentationsandalwayshewouldbringinhisfavoriteFourQuadrants.Eventhoughsomeofusneverunderstoodthem,henevergaveuponusandkeptonintroducingthemnomatterwhathewasteaching.HehadagreatadmirationforKenWilbur,theAmericanwriterandphilosopherandoftenquotedhim.

Ianworkedtirelessly,sevendaysaweekandsometimesduringameetinghewouldhavefortywinkswhichalwaysamusedme.Hehadareputationforfallingasleepatthedropofahat.

Everyweek,Ianreligiouslywouldbringinthebigfatmuf0instothehospiceandplacetheminthediningroomforalltoshare.Thenursescouldn’thandlethembuttheresident’sfamilieswoulddemolishthem.

Ianwasalsoahoarderandhehatedtothrowanythingout.Itwasoftendif0iculttomakeyourwaytohisdeskwithallthestuffhestoredinhisroom.

Wheneveritwassomeone’sbirthday,Iancouldsmellacakeamileoffandwouldmagicallyappearatthetabletohelpuseatthecakeandcelebrate.

IorganisedspecialeventsatthehospiceandIanwasalwaystheretosupport.Helovedtosingatanyeventandalwaysprovidedsongsheetsandencouragedeveryonetosingtogether.ThelasteventIrememberhimatwas2014MelbourneCupattheHospice.IanwaswearingaveryhippietieandmatchingharempantsandofcoursewonFirstPrizeforBestDressed.Hewasillbutheputonaverybravefaceandsocialisedwithallwhowerethere.

IanwasaManofAllSeasonsandtheredidn’tseemtobeanythingthathecouldn’tdo.Hewasloving,kind,caring,compassionate,thoughtful,consistent,agreatteacherandamanofpeace.Hewasamanwhostoodtallamongstallmen

andhisshoeswillneverbe0illed.IresignedfromHopewellaweekbeforeIandied.Twodaysbeforehepassed,hecametomeinavisionandIwasabletosaygoodbyetohimandthankhimforallhehaddoneforme.IfeelveryprivilegedtohaveknownhimandItakewithmehisvaluesandpracticesoutintocommunity.CarolynJackson

8/7/15

STORIESOFIAN-HelenLatchford

I#irstmetIanwhenIcameherethreeyearsagoaftermyhusbanddiedandIcametotheWomen’sgroup.AfterthatIattendedtheGriefandLosscourse.That’swhenIreallymetIanandDee.TheyweregivingthecourseanditwasextraordinarythewayIanputitacrosstoeveryone.

WhenImethimpersonallyIfoundhimanextraordinarymaninthewayhecouldspeaktopeopleinahumble,beautifulway.Itwassoimpressive.Hemadeyoufeel,indoingtheGriefandLosscourseandvolunteering,thatyouwereaveryworthwhileperson.

Ifyouwereincomingtohelp,eveninthesmallestway,hewouldcomeandsayhelloandthankyouforbeinghereandforgivinghelp.

WhenmysistervisitedmeIbroughthertomeetIan.Shewasextraordinarilytakenbyhimandsaidtome,‘Whatanincrediblywonderfulman.’IhadgivenherablurbonIanbutshecouldn’tgetoverhishumility.HeneverspokeofhimselfbuthewassoproudtoshowherthroughthehospiceandParadiseKids.

Hementionedallthevolunteersandsaidtheycouldn’truntheplacewithoutthem.Ianwasaveryhumblemanandwasgratefulforanyonewhohelped.HemadeyoufeelaworthwhilepartofParadiseKidsortheHospiceorofanyareainwhichyouhelped.

Hewasalwaysthere.Hehadsuchalotofinsight.Nomatterwhatyouasked,Iancouldalwaysanswer.ForallhiseducationInoticedhecouldspeakonanylevel.Thatisawonderfulability.Someonewithsomanydegreesbehindhimcouldmakeyoufeelcomfortable–thatisawonderfulgift.

HesharedagreatdealintheGriefandLosscourse.Whenheshowedavideoyoucouldseethathe,too,wastouched.Therewasonevideo,eventhoughhehadseenitmanytimes,inwhichhewouldstillweep.Hewasnotashamedorembarrassedbythis.Itwasbeautifultoseeittouchedhimsodeeplyinapersonalwayandthatmademefeelclosertohim.

TheGriefandLosscoursewasexplainedbeautifullyanditbroughtthingstoaclearfocus.WithoutthatcourseIdoubtIwouldhavegotthroughmyowngrieving.

SincethatexperienceIhaven’treallylefttheplace.That’swhathedid.IcameinandbecauseofhiswarmthandwelcomingIdidn’twanttoleave.

IusedtocomeintoseehimwheneverIwasonthedesk.Iwouldpopmyheadintohisof#iceandsay,‘HiIan’.Hewouldstopdoingthingsandsay‘HelloHelen’.Hemightevenhavehadastorytotellorsomefunnylittlethingtoshare.Therewasalwaysthiswillingnesstotalktoyou.

AfterhewasgoneIusedtowantthelightoninhisroomandasamatteroffactI’dcomeintoturnthemonandhewasn’there.Itwassuchanenormousemptyfeelinginme,eventhoughIknowIanwouldn’twantthattobethecase.

Nowweareinthisroom,andtobequitehonestwhenIamlookingatyou,IamseeingIansittinginhischair.It’safunnyfeelingbutIfeelIan’spresence.SometimesIhavecomeinandsatdownandDeehascaughtmeatit.Literally,ifIwasfeelingdownIcouldbreatheinandabsorbIan.Itwasanincredibleaurathathecarriedwithhim.

EveninourspiritualitygroupIcanstillfeelIan’spresence.WhenIstartedattendingthisgroupitwasquiteanewexperienceforme.I’llalwaysfeelIan’spresenceinthatmeetingroom.NowwhenDeehasbeenhereinIan’sroom,I’vestartedtocomeandseeherinthisroom.

Ithinksheshouldtakeitover.Itwouldbedreadfultoshutthisroomoff.It’sappropriateforDeetohaveitbecausesheisthevisionary.Whenyoulookaround-thisplaceisIanandDee’s.Itistheirplace.Peoplehaveacertaineasewhentheycomeinhere.

Ianisverysorelymissed,there’snodoubtaboutthat.Youcan’t#indareplacementforsomeonelikeIan.Thereisnooneto#illthoseshoes.

IrememberIanasanextraordinarypersonwhowasalwaysthereforyou.Whetheritwasgoodtimes,oryouwantedtohavealittlegripe,hewouldsitandlisten.Hehadanextraordinaryabilitytojustlistentoyouwithoutsayinganything.Hewouldjustlookatyouandlisten.

Hemightthenshowyousomethingonthecomputerorabookhewasreadingandexplainittoyou.

Uptotheveryendhewasreadingaveryinvolvedbook.Whatimpressedmenoendwashecouldstilltellmewhatwasinthebook.Anditwasabigthickbook.Helovedreadingandhecouldalsoconveywhathewasreadingbacktoyou.Thatissomething.Hekneweverywordthathe’dtyped.Hehadanextraordinarymind.

HelenLatchford

12/8/15

STORIESOFIAN-JulieHowe

I#irstmetIanwhenIcameforaninterview.Ihadrepliedtoanadinthepaperforacafémanager.

WhenIgothereheshowedmethecafé.ThenwewalkeddowntothehospiceandInoticedthegirlwhowasinthehospicekitchenhadahairneton.Ianintroducedmetoher.Healwaysintroducedyoutoeverybody.Shecameupandsaid,‘Isthismyreplacement?’AndIansaid,‘Oh!’Andshesaid:‘BecauseIamleavingthistimenextweek.’

SoIansaid,‘Oh,partofyourrole,Julie,willbehospicekitchen’.AndIwasterri#ied-thatwouldhavebeen#iveyearsagothisOctober.Wecamebackuphereandhesaidtome,‘Well,itlookslikeyourrolehasjustchanged’,andhekeptlaughing.Onethingabouthimwashislaugh.

Imisshimsomuch!Myparentsbothpassedawayalongtimeago.MyMumwasonly47andmyDadwas60whenhepassedaway.Iwasn’tclosetomyDadandmyparentshadseparatedwhenIwasthirteen.IthinkIansteppedintothatrole.Hedidn’tcomeinasaparent,buthewasalwaysthereforme,andhealwayshadmyback.That’swhatImiss.Ialwaystriedtohavehisaswell.

Ithaschangedsomuchheresincehe’sgone.Hewasawonderfulmantome.

Theonethingthatalwaysimpressedmeabouthimwasthatheneverhadabadwordtosayaboutanybody-evenaboutpeoplewhowereunkindtohim.Thereweresomestaffmemberswhodidn’tgetonwellwithIanandtheywouldcomplainabouthim.Hewouldtakeitallandgivereasonswhytheparticularpersonwasbeingnegative.Hewouldalwayssay,‘Ohwell,theyareonajourney’,andhedidnotreciprocate.Ialwaysrespectedhimforthat.

Ialwaysrespectedhimneveroversteppingthemark.Hewouldnotgetinvolvedinanypoliticsunlessyouaskedhimto.Hedidnottellmewhattodo.Healwaysusedtolaughandsayhewouldn’tdare.Healwayssaidtome,‘Youcanonlydoyourbest.’EverytimeIspoketohimhewouldtellmesomethingabouthimselfthatIdidn’tknow.Hehadsuchanamazinglife.IstillfeelIdon’tknowitallbecausehehaddonesomanythings.

Alotofpeoplewereverydisappointedathisfuneral.Sevenhundredpeoplewenttohisfuneral,andtwohundredwentto“ThisIsYourLife”.TheylearntmoreaboutIanthanthosewhoattendedthefuneral.Manypeoplecomeuptomesayingtheywantedtoknowmoreabouthislife.

Healwaysusedtohavehiscoffeeeverydayuntilhegotsick.Healwayswenteverydayandpaidhis$2.50forhiscappuccino.Whoeverwastherewouldmakeit.Sometimeshewouldwhispertome,‘Idon’twanttocomplainbutshedoesn’tmakethebestcoffee’.IfImadehimhiscoffeehewouldalwayssay,‘Oh,theBossismakingmycoffeetoday’.

Ifeltsosorrywhenhewasputonsabbaticalleave.Itbrokehisheart.IwrotealettertotheBoardsayingIwasappalledatwhattheyhaddone.Istillagreewiththat.Hewasbroken-hearteduntilthedayhedied.

Hewouldoftenaskmemyopinion,whichIusedtolike.‘Couldyoucomeandsitdownandgivemeyouropiniononthis?’

Hewasterribleatdiscipliningpeople.Infacthedidn’tdisciplinepeopleandthatwaswherewefelldown.Somepeopletookadvantageofthat.

Ianwasamazinginshapingthecultureherebybeinghereforeverybodyandanybody.Ihadavolunteer,thisisaclassicexample,andshewasawork-for-the-doleladyandhersonwasveryheavilyinvolvedindrugsandbikiegangs.

OnedayIjusthappenedtowalkintothecafé.Shewassayinghersonhadbeenbeatenup;hehadbeenthrownoverthesideofamountainandleftfordead.Hewasontherunfromthepoliceandhewasbeingusedbytwodifferentsetsofbikiegangs.

Shesaidtome,’Youdon’tneedtoworry,hedoesn’tknowwhereIworkandI’llnevertellhim.Soitwon’taffecthere’.ThenonedayIjusthappenedtowalkintothecaféandthisguywalkedintothecaféandwalkeduptoherandsaid,‘Givemeyoureftposcard’.Andshejustgaveittohim.Thenshefollowedhimout.Andthatreallyscaredmebecausetherewereotherpeopleinthecarwithhim.

Thegangsnowknewofus.Theynowknewtherewasalittlecaféhere.TheyknewhisMumworkedhereandiftheywantedtogetathiminotherways,theyknewwherehisMumwas.Shelaterfoundhehadthreatenedthegrandmothertotellhimwhereshewas.

SoIcameinandsawIanandsaid,‘Thisisscary.She’sputallofusatrisknow.I’mgoingtoaskhertonotcomeback.’AndIansaidtome,laughedashealwaysdid,‘NoIdon’tthinkthat’stherightthingtodo’.Andhesaid,‘Shereallyneedsusnow;thisisacriticalmomentofherlife.Weneedtobeheretosupporther.That’swhatweareallabout.’Isaid,‘Well,Ithinkshehasnowjeopardizedthatbyallowinghimtocomehere.Wehavetothinkofthesafetyofeverybodyelsehere.Iftheywalkin,therecouldbekidshere,anything’.Hesaidtome,‘No,Ireallydon’twantyoutodothatJulie.It’suptoyou,butIreallydon’twantyoutodothat.Ithinkweneedtobeheretosupporther’.

Aboutaweeklaterhesaid,‘Whatdidyoudo?’AndIhadnotdoneanything.Thishappenedtwoorthreeyearsago.Onemorning,lateron,Iwashereinthisbuildingonmyown.It’squitecreepyinhereonyourown.Thebuildingcreaks.Andit’sabitofawindtunnel.Soifyou’vegotawindowopen,thingsmoveandbangandit’seerie.IheardanoiseandIcameoutofmyof#ice.AnditwasIan,andhejustburstoutlaughing.‘DidyouthinkIwasoneofthebikiescomingtogetyou?’Isaid,‘Well,yes,Idid’.AnywayIcontactedtheworkfordolepeopleafterthat.Ididenduplettinghergo.

ThatwasthekindofpersonIanwas.Idon’tthinkhebelievedthosepeoplewereasbadastheyactuallyare.Theyarevery,very,scarypeople.Buthewouldhaveherinhereinhisof#ice.Andhedidsomeoneononecounselingwithher.Hedidthatwithafewofmyvolunteers.Manyofthepeoplewhoworkherehavegotastoryandareinneedofsupport.

Healwayshadtimeforeverybody.Youknewhewasalwayshere.Andhe’dbehere#irstthinginthemorningandhe’dbehereuntil7o’clockatnight.

Onethingthatannoyedmewaswhenhecorrectedallmywork.I’materriblespellerandI’dbringsomethingintohim,rough.‘Whatdoyouthinkofthis?’I’dsay.Andhe’d#ixit.I’dsay,‘Iknowthere’sspellingerrorsinthatbutIjustwantyoutotellmewhatyouthinkofit’.Itremindedmeofwhathappenswithmyboysandme.

HewasverysportywhenhewasyoungandhealwaysadmiredwhatIdoformyboys.They’reveryinvolvedinsport.Healwaysusedtosay,‘It’sawonderfulthingyouaredoing’.HesaidittomewhenhewasdyinginPindara,‘Thankyouforwhatyouaredoingforyourboys’.Ithought,whatastrangethingtosay.

IreallyfeelhimintheHospice.Ihearhislaughalot.Becausehealwayslaughed.Itwasalwaysnicetoknowhewasthere.Ijustwishwewerenotinsuchamesssowecouldcontinuehowhewantedto.

Itwasstrangethathedidn’tacceptwhatwashappeningtohim,withallthatheteaches.Everyonesayswhatanamazingteacherhewas.Ididn’tdohisclasses.NowIwishIhadgotmoreinvolved.Andthat’saregretofmine.PeoplespeakoftenabouthowmuchtheylearntfromIan.

JulieHowe

12/8/15

STORIESOFIAN-PixieBayley

WhenI'irststartedtothinkaboutIanandwhatIwouldsayIthoughtthere’sprobablyonlyafewthingsIwanttosayabouthim.butwhenIstartedtowritememories'loodedin.

EverytimeIwalkthroughthedoorstocomeintothebuilding,the'irstthingI’mawareof,ishowmuchImissIan’spresence.Itdidn’tmatterhowbusyhewashewasalwayssopleasedtoseeme,andanybodywhoarrived.WhenIputmyheadaroundhisdoor,ifhedidn’thaveanyoneinthere,Iwouldsay‘HiIan’.ItwasthewarmthofhisgreetingthatIvaluedandIsawhimassucharock.Hewasatrulyabsolutelyamazingman.

Hewasreallyagroundingforce,personally,andIknowhewasthatformanypeople.Hewasalwaystherewiththatsmile,andabighug.Hewasaveryspecialperson.HealwaysmadetimeforeveryoneandIfelthewouldalwaysbethere.

I’vetalkedtomysisterChrisandI’veleftinstructionsinmywillthatIwanttohavethecelebrationofmylife,afterI’vebeencremated,hereattheHospice.Ihadavisionofthegroundsouttherewiththesunshining,birdschirping,andIanconductingitwithallmyfriendspresent.Hisdeathhasjustleftsuchanenormoushole.Ican’timaginewhowillbeableto'illhisshoes.Hehadsuchamazingenergy.

I’mnotareligiousperson,infactIhavedif'icultywithorganizedreligionandthewayweknowitintheworld.I’dsometimesgototheWorshipandSpiritualityGroup,andthatwas'inewithmebecauseIalwaysfeltthathepersoni'iedsomething,notinagodlywaybutasthispersonwhowasarock,somebodyinspirational.Icouldreallyfeelgroundedandabletosayanything.NormallyIwouldn’tbecomfortableonanysortofreligiousground.

IusedtolovethenotesthatheputtogetherevenwhenIwasn’tthere.IfelttotallycomfortablewithsomeofthequotesbyRumiandotherswhereasnormallyIwouldn’tfeelcomfortablearoundsomeonewhowastalkingreligion.

IantalkedabouttheUniverseandthatwaswhatitwaslikewhenIwenttoLifeline.AsacounselorIthought,‘Oh,maybethisisgoingtobeaboutGod,religionandIwon’tbecomfortable’,butIwasabsolutely'ine.There’ssomethingoutthere,Idon’tdoubtthatforamoment,butnotinthewaythatmostpeoplethinkofit.

Janorganized‘ThisIsYourLife’,forIanandIthinkthatwassuchawonderfultributetohim.IcouldseehowmuchheenjoyeditallwhenIwatchedtheDVDofthatoccasionattheWomen’sGrouptoday.Itwasheartwarming.IwasokayuntilDebsang,“I’llNeverWalkAlone”.Thatbroughtmeabitundone.

I'irstmetIanwhenIwasatLifeline.Thatwasin1991.DeeandIanmetwhenDeewasdoingachaplain’scourseontheSunshineCoastandIanwasinvolvedinconductingtheCourse.AttheirweddinghesangtoDee,‘LoveChangesEverything’,Iwasatthewedding.Weallwentuptogether,

In1993,sometimeaftertheyweremarried,DeeandIancalledameetingattheirplaceatBayviewHarbourandtalkedaboutstartingaHospice.Therewasagroupofusatthatmeeting.Afterwardssomeoneasked,‘Didyoucomeawayfromthatmeetingfeelingitwassomethingamazing?’Isaid,‘Weareallcomingawayfromitthinkingit’sawonderfulideabuthowthehellcanwedoit.There’snomoney’.

Wewerethereonthatday,andmostofuswhoweretheretwenty-twoyearsagoarestillinvolvedtoday.Thatisamazing.Soithasbeenaninspirationaljourneyanditisquiteremarkablehowthisorganizationhasgrownsince1993.ItisawonderfultributetoIanandDee.WeallmissyouIan.

PixieBayley

31stJuly2015

STORIESOFIAN-VickiStrickland

JustrecountingalittlethingthathappenedintheHospice.WehadafamilyvisitingtheHospiceandthefatherwasaPentecostalminister.ThefamilymusthavemetIansomewherealongtheline,andwe’dbeenintouchwiththemforalongtime.Theyalwayssaidthey’dliketocometoHopewell.Thetimecameandtheywereareallybeautifulfamily.

Iwaswalkingupwiththedaughter,shewascomingtoseeIan,andshewassayinghowamazingitwasandshesaid,‘Howdoyoukeepitfunded?’AndIsaid,‘Well,that’sinteresting.It’ssometimesonawingandaprayer.IworryaboutthemoneycominginbutIandoesnotseemto.IwishIhadhisfaith’.Andsheturnedtomeandshesaid,‘Itonlytakesamustardsizeoffaith’.IstartedtolaughandIsaid,‘Well,IhopeI’vegotthat.’

ItoldIanwhatshesaidtomeandIsaid,‘IanI’mgoingtoshowmyignorancehere’,andIaskedhimwhatsortofChurchisthePentecostalChurch.HewasinmyofFice.Hetookaseat,shookhisheadandsaid,‘Vicki,Vicki,Vicki!’Hewashavingachuckleandthenhestoodup,‘IfIdidthis,’wavinghishandsintheair,singing,‘Alleluia’,whatwouldyousay?’Thenhesaid,‘That’snotevangelistic’.Laughing,Isaid,‘Well,okay’.Thenhesaid,‘Pentecostal’,andhetoldthewholestoryaboutsalvation.Itwashiswayofdescribingitthatwillstaywithmeforever.HesaidEvangelisticwasaboutsavingyoursoul,andalso,whoeverbelievesinmehastogooutandpreach,whereasPentecostalwasaboutreceivingtheSpirit,andhewhobelieveswillFindsalvation.

IthinkIhavetoomuchRomanCatholicupbringingtogetonboardwiththatapproach.Iamgratefulformyheritage.Hewaskillinghimselflaughing.Itwasjustoneofthoselight-heartedmoments.

IwasluckybecauseIwouldoftencomeuptotheofFiceattheendoftheday.HewouldtalktomeaboutLouisa.Usuallywedidnottalkaboutwork.IhadboughtahouseatRathdowneynearwherehegrewup,closetoBeaudesert.WewouldtalkabouthisearlydaysatBeaudesertandallsortsofthings–likedifferentreligiouscustoms,Greekmythology.

IFirstmetIanwhenIwasworkingforTelstra.WedidanexchangeopendayandParadiseKidswasthebeneFiciary.Itwasabarbecue,sausagesizzletypeofthing.Iancametothebarbecue.Itwas2009.ThatwaswhenSamKennedywasFirstontheBoardandwasworkingatTelstra.IanwouldsometimesdropinattheTelstraofFicewithSamKennedy.

IcametoHopewellin2011.Iworkedwiththedocuments,accreditationandFiling.IanandIworkedreallycloselyonthepolicies.Iwouldwritethemandhewouldeditthem.Hetookgreatprideinhisediting.Iwouldalwayshandthemoverjokinglyandsay,‘Hereyougo’.BeingtheEnglishteacherit’dbedowntotheredpen.I’dthinkitwasperfectbuttherealwaysseemedtobeadotorafullstopmissing.

Onedaywewereatameeting,PeterLewiswasthere,andIwastypingawayontheminutesandtheygotintoabigconversationaboutpastparticiples.AndIexclaimed,‘Iamjuststrugglingwithfullstopsandcommas.’Theylikedtohaveitgrammaticallyjustperfect.

Whoevercrossedhispath,andallsortsofpeoplewalkedthroughthedoorhere,hereallywaswithoutjudgment.Hewouldalwaysjustacceptpeopleandshowthemkindnessandcompassion.NotGoldCoastkindnessandcompassion–butthetruegenuinekind.Iwrotealetterofthanks,justthankinghimforwhathehadgivenme.IwishI’dkeptacopyofitnow.

Thebiggestthingwasprobablyhishospitality.Heshowedgenuine,openhospitalitytoallwhowenttohisdoor.It’sactuallyahardthingtodo.WhenIrememberIanIjustthinkofhisbeautifulsmile.Isometimesthinkhemustbesittingthereshakinghisheadwitheverythingthatisgoingon.

Hewasalways’present’.Hewasamasteratbeingpresent.Whenhewasaresidentinthehospice(ofcourse,everyoneknowstherightwaytodiedownthere)therewerequitealotofopinionsFloatingaroundaboutwhatheshouldhavebeendoing,howheshouldbebehaving.

AnothermomentwaswhenDeeandmyselfwerebesidehimandtheBlenderscameintosingtohimonenightwhenhewasintheHospice.Heaskedthemtosing‘FareTheeWellMyLove’.Well,youcouldhavemoppedDeeandmeupwithamop.AndDeesaid,‘Ian,whyaren’tyousad?’Wewereamessandhewasblissfullyimmersedinthemusic.Hewasn’tbeingsadaboutwhathewasabouttoloseorthinkingoftheloss,hewasactuallyblissfully,enjoyingbeingsungto.AndIsaid,‘Dee,ifonlywecouldalldothat’.

Whenhewasinhospitaltherewasarostertogivehimsomeporridgeinthemorning.AcoupleoftimesIfedhimandIsaidtohim:‘ThisisaboveandbeyondmyjobdescriptionIan’.Andthentherewerehisteeth.Helikedtohavehisteethcleaned,hewasreallyfussyaboutthat.It’salrightifit’ssomeoneyoudon’tknow.Itwasaveryintimatethingtodo.

Ianhadapassionforthegarden.Wehadhadabitofapactaboutthegarden,speciallythebananapalm.Plantswerefrequentlycutbackandwewereofthesameviewaboutthat.Cuttingthingsbackwasoneoftheongoingbattleswiththegardeners,andIsaid,‘AlrightIan,ifyoucomedownandyouFindmechainedtothatbananapalm,you’dbetterbepreparedtolockyourselfonwithme’.Sowehadadeal,thatwastheFinalstand,ifthatwentthenweweregoingtogowithit.Thebananapalmgetstrimmedtowithinaninchofitslife.Itisabeautifulthingandifitwasjustletgo…Thecycadswentandthebougainvilleawent,andhewassadaboutthat.OnethingthatreallygrowswelloutatBeaudesertisbougainvillea.Itistheonlythingthathasabitofcolourinwinter.WhenhewasinthehospiceItriedtogetstarjasminetogrowlongenoughsoitcouldFlower.ThenIwentandboughttwopotsfromthenurseryandIputthemoutsidehis

window.ThatwastheFinalstand.Ihavetakenthemandplantedthemhighinthehillssotheyhaveaviewofthetwopeaksonthescenicrim,nearMtBarney.YoucanjustseethehighestpeakfromwhereIam,soIplantedthemthere.

Iandidvisitmeinadream,veryclearly.EverylovedoneIhavelostatdifferenttimes,whenIneedthem,theyarethere.Itwassoclearanditwasonlyafewweeksago.Iwasintearsandmyhusbandasked,‘What’sthematter?’AndIsaid:‘Ianhasjustcomeandvisitedme’.AndIwasintears.Idon’tknowwherewewere,inthedream,butitwasreallyreal.Itwassomewhereanditwaspacked,likeaneventwheretherewerelotsofpeople.Iwaslookingthroughthecrowdforhim,andheisquitetall.Iwaslookingforhim,hewassupposedtobehere.Whereishe?Thereweresomanypeoplethere,andIlookedoutandthenIcouldseehim.Hespottedmeandhejustwaved,‘Iamoverhere,’callingmeover.ButbythetimeIgotthroughthecrowdhehadgone.Igotthere,andthatwaswhenIwokeup.Thenitwas,‘Oh,Ihavelosthim’.Itwasnice.AllthesepeopleweregatheredaroundhimandIthoughttherearejustasmanypeopleontheothersidewhowantapieceofhim!Sothatwaslovely.

Thereisasong–itwasatributesongtotheguythatdiedin‘FastandFurious’.Itsays:‘It’sbeenalongtimewithoutyoumyfriendandIwilltellyouallaboutitwhenIseeyouagain.’Thatcomesonalot.

Hewrotealotofletters.Theyalwayshadagoodclosing.RecentlyIwaswritingaletterandwasgoingthroughlettersandemailstryingtoFindsomethingsuitableforacloseandIcameacrossaletterhehadsentmeinOctober,onthebookbyLaloux,‘ReinventingOrganisations’,andhesaid,‘Iwouldappreciateyourthoughts’.Therewasalittlevideothatcaptureditwell.

Wehadlotsofconversationsaroundleadership.Itwasn’tuntilrecentlyIputtwoandtwotogether,andrealisedWilberhadwrittentheforewordtoStephenCovey’s‘SevenHabits’book.IhadabigsenseoflosswhenIrealisedIhadthrownoutalotofwritingsIhadonleadership.WhenIwasworkingforTelstraandwasgivenleadershiptraining,oneofthecoursesIdidincludedtwoyearsofjournaling,

Weweregoodmatesandwetalkedalotaboutthings.Wejustgoton.Wehadourdifferencesworkwise,asyoudo.Ianwassowelcomingtoeveryone,andthatwashisgift.Itrytofollowhisexampleinnon-judgment.Itishard.

VickyStrickland

29/7/15

STORIESOFIAN-WendyMackenzie

AspenLeaf–symbolofvictory,transformation,vision.

AfterlosingmyhusbandtocancerandmovingtotheCoastfromasmallcountrytownIsigneduptodovolunteeringworkatHopewellHospicenotrealizingatthetimewhatamagicalhealingplaceitwasandstillis.

BeforemovingtothecountryIhadnoideaofhowmuchbeingapartofacommunitycanbene?itonesoverallhealthandfeelingofwellbeing.IwantedtohavethatagainandIfounditinabundanceintheHopewellcommunity

Ican’trememberwhenI?irstbecameawareofIan’spresenceattheHospice.IwasworkinginthekitchenandIjustkeptseeingthistallmanwhoradiatedasenseofsecurity,kindnessandcalmabouthimdroppingineverynowandthen.NomatterwhattimeofdayIwasthereheseemedtobearound.

EveryMondaythecookwouldmakepikeletswithjamandcreamforstaffandresidentsandtheirfamiliesandIwasaskedtotakeoneuptoIaninhisof?iceatPK.Ithinkthatwaswhenwestartedupadialogue.Hissomewhatbaddeityrequestshadbecomelegendforexamplehisdistasteofanythinggreenandhealthy.IrememberhowpleasedIwaswhenhe?irstcalledmebymyname.IfeltlikehehadgivenmeabighugandIsmiledalldayafterthat.

I’vespokentoafewwidowswhoworkatHopewellandourfeelingsforhimweresimilar,yeswedidlovehim.Hewasaconstantmale?igureinourlivesthathelpedto?illtheholeourhusbandsleft.IknowifIeverfeltafraidorworriedIknewthatIanwasthereifIneededhimforadviceandcounsellinganditcomfortedme.

OfcourseIcan’tspeakofIanwithoutDee.Ohgodshemakesmelaugh!Herhonestyand?ightingspiritisaoneoff.Isoenjoyhavingherinmylife.

I?irstbecameawareofIan’sillnesswhenwewerehavingourcandle-lightceremonyattheHospice.Onceayearrelativesandfriendsofthosewhohavepassedareinvitedbacktolightacandlefortheirlovedones.Abeautifulmagicalceremonywasabouttobeshattered.

Deecametomeinthekitchenandtoldmehewasn’twellandshehadaterriblefeelingthathehadcancer.Iwasdevastated.IwatchedhimatthepulpitandhewasdoubledoverinpainandIwasafraidhewouldfaint.Dee’sintuitionwaschillinglyaccurate.Andsobeganthebeginningoftheendforthiswonderfulman.

AtthetimeofIan’scancerdiagnosisIsoldmyunitinSouthportasthestairsweregettingtoomuchforme.IwantedtoliveonthenorthendoftheCoastandtriedsohardto?indaplacebuteverycontractIhadfellthrough.AunitatBenowakeptpresentingitselftomeandIkeptrejectingituntilIhadnochoiceasIwasrunningoutoftime.Ifeltlikeavoicewassaying,’You,here!’AndsoImoved.

NowasithappensmynewunitwaswithinwalkingdistanceofPindarraHospitalwhereIanwasadmittedfortreatmentshortlyaftermymove.Yeswellyoudowonderdon’tyou?

HavingnursedmyownhusbandthroughhiscancerIknewhowtiringitcouldbe.IcouldseehowexhaustedDeewasgettingtryingtoseeIanandkeepingupherworkatHopewellsoIofferedtogoinandfeedIanhiseveningmealeverysecondnight.

Itbecameaveryspecialtimeforme.TobeabletogiveservicetobothIanandDeeafterallHopewellhadgiventomewasagreatgift.ItalsomeantIwaskeptinformedonhowhistreatmentwasprogressing.Hetriedtogetwell,godblesshimhetriedsohard.

HewasoftenverytiredatnightandIwouldgoinhalfanhourbeforehisdinnerarrivedandlethimsleepwhileIreadthedailypaper.I’mnotagreattalkerandashehadsomanyvisitorsduringthedayIgavehimsomequiettime.Justtobewiththismaninsilencewasspecial.

WhenhismealarrivedhewastooweaktolifthisarmssoIwouldfeedhim.Igotabitangryatthekitchen,astheywouldgivehimhisdesertinlittlecontainersandnodesertbowltoplaceitin!DeecameupwiththeideatomixitinthelidcoveringthefoodthatworkedbutIeventuallyboughthiminalittleglassbowlfromhome.Funnyhowlittlethingslikethatbecomesoimportant?

EvenfunnierwasthatafterheateheaskedifIwouldcleanhisdenturesforhim!Notquitewhatmyjobdescriptionhadpreparedmeforbutagainaspecialintimatemoment.

IwasverypleasedthatonenightbeforeIleftIhadafeelingthatthe?inalcurtainwascomingdownsoIkissedhimontheforeheadandthankedhimfortheHospice.ItoldhimthatmyservicetherefeltlikeI’dfoundmylife’spurpose.Hejustsmiled.

Icouldseewhatwashappeningandyesweallprayedthattherewouldbeamiracle,butgodhadotherplans.OnenightIwentinandafriendwhohadbeencomingintoreadtohimlookedatmewithtearsinhiseyesandtoldmethatIanwasgoingintotheHospicethenextday.

ThatnightIansaidtomethathewouldbeleavingtomorrowandnottoforgettotakemybowl.Fancyhimeventhinkingofthatatsuchatime.SomyshiftatPindarawasover.Howamazingwasthisman.WehaveaspiritualityandworshipmeetingonceamonthatHopewellandIaninsistedonleadingitfromhisbedashehadbecometooweaktowalk.ThediscussionwasaboutwhatyouwouldsaytoGodwhenyou?inallymethimandIsaidthatIknewwhatGodwouldsaytohimwhenhearrived,hewouldsay,‘ThankyouIan.”Ianraisedhishandandnoddedhisthankstome.

AsithappenedIwasrosteredonthedayhedied.Iwastoldbyoneofthenursestopreparemyselfashisendwasnear.Thefamilywentouttohaveabreakwhiletheyturnedhim.Shortlyafteranursecameandtoldmetogetthefamilyquickly,whathappenednextistheirstory.

Ihadtheprivilegetogointohisroomafterhisdeathtosaymy?inalgoodbye.TheyhaddressedhiminhisChaplainrobes.HowblessedIwastohavehadhiminmylifeforashorttime.

WordspreadandtherewasacrowdtoformaguardofhonourashewaswheeledoutthefrontdooroftheplacethatheandDeehadfounded.Frances,PeteandIhadgathered?lowersandcandlestotryandmakethepathasspecialaswecould.ThehearsestoppedatthefrontofPKforafewsecondsbeforewewavedhimgoodbyeforthelasttime.

I/we,allmisshimsomuch.JusthavinghimwalkintotheHospicewherethingscangetprettygrimandtheplacecanbe?illedwithsomuchgriefwaslikehavingawindowopentothefreshairofassurancethateverythingwouldbeallright.

Iwasdoingmyshiftlastweekandwehaveahugephotoofhimnowinthereceptionarea.Anewnurseaskedwhothemaninthephotowas.Somehowit?illedmewithagreatfeelingofsadness.Somethinghadendedyetitstillgoeson.

Istillhavethelittleglassdesertbowl.It’sintheshapeofanAspenleaf.

WendyMackenzie.

July2015