www.mrhairspiefactory.com

Mr Hair’s Pie FactoryHandmade in Brighton

Bespoke piesdelivered to your door

a filthy guide to stay sick!!

Established in 2008, they continue to spin the best dancing music from surf to 60s, oddball R&B to filthy rock’n’roll, 7 inches at a time. Now a Brighton institution for the ones in the know, these Cramps obsessed guys have put on such greats as Billy Childish, Kid Congo from the Cramps, Monotonix, Eighties Matchbox B-line Disaster and Thee Oh Sees. With bands from Japan, Germany, USA, France and even Croatia (to name but a few), STAY SICK has made it their mission to track down, kidnap and present you with the best bands from all over the globe

the musicsleazy and greasy rock n roll from the fifties & sicksties including Tarantino surf, boppin rockabilly, swingin rhythm and blues and twistin tittyshakers for all of ya to go-go, shake, shimmy and jerk to! Plus Primitive Garage Punk for all you black leather weird-ohs. Always vinyl, always rockin’

the f ilmsvisual projections of dirty grimy grindhouse, sci-fi B-movies, monster flicks, stag films, girlesque, mondo cult trash, hot rod juvenile delinquent pics

the placethe newest and coolest venue in town - THE BLIND TIGER CLUB, Brighton. Formerly Hector’s House, it has been Stay Sick HQ for over 3 years and it has now been taken over by new owner - PLAYGROUP. They have put on some of Brighton’s best parties, from speakeasys to the Concorde 2 to their own festival. Now they have their own venue, expect the festival-in-a-club vibe. Plus a new sound system, stage and (lux) interior.

the T imeEVERY 2nd SAT’DAY 9pm-2am, free entry before 10pm / £3 after

Don French - Goldilocks1. Jimmie Haskell - 2. Rockin' in the Orbit

Edd Byrnes - Kookie's Mad Pad3. The Olympics - Mash Them 'Taters4. Bobby Darin - Splish Splash5. Count Five - Psychotic Reaction6. The Mighty Hannibal - Fishin' Pole7. H.B. Barnum - Tia Juana8. Elvis Presley - I Got Stung9. Count Yates - Chimpanzee10.

the big

itch big 10 killer recordsfor all you cats to go-go at gone green !

for mo re great tunes chec k out the S tay Sick

Radio Show on iTunes

a FREE podcast FoR all

you RockERs, RollERs,

50s thRowbacks, 60s

GaRaGE ZombiEs, poison

ivys, hatchEt FacEs,

thE black lEathER

JackEt clad, punks,

vinyl addicts, pool

shaRks, iGGys

and shakERs !!!

---A NEW YEAR'S EVE WILD

WATUSI DANCE PARTY---

brought to you byThe BIG ITCH and STAY SICK -

Two Brighton nights with a

shared passion for wild, weird

rock'n'roll records join forces

to throw the ultimate New Year’s

Eve bash with an emphasis firmly

on fun. At the suitably primitive

Green Door Store, Watusi your

way into 2012 as the Stay Sick

and Big Itch DJs do battle

with an arsenal of goofball

garage, greasy rhythm'n'blues,

tittytwistin' trash and all

manner of stripped back, revved

up and wacked out party sounds

till 5am.

PLUS, PLAYING LIVE...

The SUNDAE KUPS - a

frozen frenzy of soft-scoop

surf'n'roll!

All the way from Coronado

Bay, San Diego, The Sundae Kups

met whilst working at the local

Dairy Queen serving ice cream.

The Sundae Kups travelled to

London, England, where they won

over crowds. Get down to their

uncontrollable dance frenzy

now now now!

+ 2 SCREENS projecting 1950s/60s b-movie madness, psycho-delic animations, trashy trailers, cult cartoons, go go dancers, monkeys on bikes and other exotic and far-out delights for the eyes!

www.staysickbrighton.co.uk for more details

@ THE GREEN DOOR STORE(underneath Brighton Railway Station)

9.30PM TIL 5AM - Please arrive early to avoid disappointment!

FREE ENTRY (...on New Year's Eve, yes really!)

TWIST, JERK, SHIMMY & SHAKE...

NEW YEARS EVE PREVIEW...|G|O|N|E| |G|R|E|E|N|!|

As a barman (who has recently received

my personal licence, ay’thank yoo) it got me thinking that sometimes it is a bit of a struggle between the people behind the bar and the people in front. Here are my top 10 peeves.

1. No.1 has got to be ordering a round one drink at a time but this takes on a whole other ball of bile when it comes to elaborate drinks. Putting the cock into cocktails –“1 mai tai… (make a mai tai, come back) “oh and another mai tai for me”… “4 mojitos”….”half way through making them, make that 5…. And a Guinness”… “anything else???” the transaction is complete and paid for with a lot of seething and biting of tongue, a spontaneous explosion of tourettes just moments away “do you do crisp?”

2. Waving money, I’m not a hooker turning tricks for £20 and a grubby tenner is not going to make me thing you are a man of means – it’s not impressive and (here’s a hint to all those who do this) you WILL get served last

3. Order, Walk away from the bar to chat to mates, so I have to wait for them to come back and pay, with 20 people desperate to get served, barking orders and making me look like an dopey twat

4. “I’ll have a Snakebite & Black” now there is a reason why we don’t serve it, not because it is an awful drink (it is what it is, and I have certainly puked up enough purple mess to vouch for that), It is because

the people that order it look like they have mange– the next question they ALWAYS ask is “can I have half a lager and half a cider and black and a pint glass then?” what could they be up to? Sounds like a reasonable order… hang on, they are going to mix it together to make a DIY Snakebite&black. Almost got me there! NO

5. “What no stella/wkd /jd/ malibu / bacardi/ southern comfort??” especially when its bacardi and you offer them an alternative white rum and they exclaim “ I don’t drink white rum!”, no, no you don’t.

My pub has 5 lagers, 3 ales, 80 rums, 20 whiskeys, I could go on, customer comes in has a walk up and down the bar with a confused look “This all you got?” or “got any proper beers?” (What I call a proper beer is not the same as the weak piss you are after, my friend)

6. “Look mate, I pay your wages.” No, I would still get paid if you just fucked off. Or “I spend sixty quid a week in here a week” as if that gives them special privileges to act like a drunken dick. Like money equates to how much you can get away with. Sure, spend £100 a week and I’ll let you spank my barmaids.

BAR WARS

top 12 bARSEHOLES

7. “How Much?!? Its only £2.10 in Wetherspoons!” well fuck off there then! You pay a bigger price when going to W’spoon. There is one old gent that comes in twice a week and tells me the merits of Wspoons “You can get a big breakfast and a pint for £2.49, beans, bacon, eggs, sausage… and the place is heaving at 9am, why do you open at 12pm, your missing out on all that trade. The guy who runs Spoons, he knows how to run a proper pub”

8. Hen parties – the high pitched cackle, the sound of broken glass and tears in the toilet

Stag parties – blokey blokey, 10 shots of ass bleeder mate, waaaa hhheeeyyy!!! Puke in the urinals.

8. Customers who act surprised that you are asking for money. Slap 2 foaming pints of cool check lager in front of them and say that’s £7.20, oh right, fumble for their wallet, awkwardly try and find change, fumble fumble, eventually give up and give you a note. – it makes me want to stand gormlessly holding the tenner for a minute “oh, you wanted change, sorry” and count out £2.80 in 10ps, give up, try 20ps and eventually give them the right money.

9. Ordering odd nicknames for drinks, pint of numbers (meaning 1664), half a Black n Tan (, glass of St Clements (orange and lemonade) and when you look at them blankly because no one has ordered that since 1953, they rather smugly tell you what it is

10. “Do you allow children?” A perfectly reasonable question and one that stops the situation of a couple ordering food & drinks,

sitting down and their child-laden friend comes in late, dragging a 5 yr old little hitler, orders a drink and told we don’t allow children. There is an awkward look between the group and the kid and kid owner have to leave.Now, my problem is not with the question “do you allow children?” it is the follow up question after the emphatic “NO”“but we are going to be eating”, unless you are going to be eating for so long that the child will 18 yrs old when you leave the table, the answer is still NO. Or the other one is “Now I know you don’t allow children but how about a 6month old?” I don’t really know why the younger they are, it is some how better. I have in the past been nice and let them in but it is hard to tell the sleep-addled parents of a 6 month old to shut their screaming offspring up. The response is always “he’ll calm down in a minute” 5 mins later and I am anything but calm, so NO CHILDREN

11. The Drunk that refuses to stop shaking your hand and ear fucking you about their life when you try and kick them out.

12. International variations are the American variation: “I’ll TAKE a light beer” RUDE!And the confusing “I’ll just have a GLASS of Guinness” by which they mean a half but what do they presume the pint GLASSES are made out of ??? Finishing with our homegrown Cockney variation “I’ave a Carling” “half a Carling?”“Yeah” punter WATCHES me pour HALF a Carling in front of their face “that’s £1.70” “I said I’ll have a Carling” grrrrrr!

jayne mansfield

The diminutive Little Willie John (he was only just over 5 feet tall) died at the age of 30, in the Washington State penitentiary, Walla Walla, Seattle. There is contention over the cause of his death, but not over why he was serving time. Willie’s appeal had been quashed in 1966, but not before he was able to record an amazing final album with producer David Axelrod. The album, “NinnteenSixtySix”, was shelved, only recently getting its much deserved, if belated, release.

William Edward John was born on November 15 1937, in Cullendale, Arkansas. His family all sang in the gospel choir in church, but soon Willie was entering talent contests. One of these -contests was attended by Syd Nathan of Cinncinatti’s influential King Records, but Nathan decided to take away another contestant that day, Hank Ballard. Luckily, he was spotted by band leader Johnny Otis and had the opportunity to sing with Count Basie and Duke Ellington and to record for Savoy. In 1955, Henry Glover, also of King Records, signed John (aged just 16) to a

recording contract and took him into the studio. It was Glover who decided to get Willie to record a newly-penned ditty called “Fever”. Released in 1956, it went to #24 in the US pop charts, selling over a million copies. Two years later, Peggy Lee took it even higher. Ever since, people have been queuing up to record the song, but it was Little Willie John’s first and don’t you forget it!Willie took his show on the road, with “Fever” being the cornerstone of

his set. His vocal style was an important bridge between the older R&B sound and what was to become soul music, influencing every singer that heard him. On tour, his support band and King Records cohorts, James Brown and the Famous Flames, were one such act to be touched by the a little Willie magic. Brown would later release a tribute album to John.

Despite his short stature, or perhaps because of it, Little Willie John had a bad temper, was irascible, had a taste for strong liquor and was prone to violent outbursts. He often carried a knife and was known to take a gun on stage with him. His downfall came at an after-show party in Seattle, when an ex-con pinched the chair of John’s lady friend. John started a fight that ended in him fatally stabbing the chair-snatcher. He was sent down for manslaughter in 1966 and died two years later, possibly of pneumonia, perhaps a heart attack, no one is quite sure. (Ironically, it could have quite possibly been a fever that led to his demise ) Apart from “Fever”, other Little Willie John hits have been famously covered, including The Beatles’ version of “Leave My Kitten Alone” and Fleetwood Mac (in their blues incarnation) doing “Need Your Love So Bad”. But it is “Fever” we love him for the most.

Shamblin’ Sexton

Question – What is the most covered song in popular

music?Answer – Who really gives a monkey’s, but I know

loads of versions of Fever.

Fever - Little Willie John - 1956: The original and

still the best.Fever – Bobby “Blue” Bland - 1966: A voice

of deep

blue velvet.-- A beauty!Fever - Buddy Guy - 1968: Bud had a crack

at it for

Vanguard in 1968.Fever - James Brown - 1967: Brown knocks the

tempo up and brings the funk for ‘67.Fever – Peggy Lee – 1958: The version that

99% of

the species knows.Fever – Elvis Presley – 1960: The King stick

s close to

the Peggy Lee cover.Fever – The Cramps - 1980: Adding their special twist

to the cocktail. This is the version that has ended

almost every Stay Sick for 3yrs!Fever – James Cotton – 1974: Electric blues with a

fuzzed sax. Nice touch.Fever – Alvin Robinson – 1964: Alvin slows it right

down for the post-midnight hour.Fever - Ben E. King – 1962: Another crackin

g soulful

take with added Wurlitzer and vibes Fever – Jerry Butler & Betty Everett -1964

: Fever as

a belting soul duet. Just as it couldn’t get better…

Fever – Louis Prima & Keely Smith- 1959: Starts

low, adds latin rhythm and then swings. A cracker.

Fever – Quincy Jones Orchestra – 1965: Swingin’ big

band and Hammond instro style.Fever – Eddie Cooley & The Dimples – 1961: Eddie co-

wrote the song, so listen up.Fever – Ann-Margret – 1962: Up-tempo, mod-pop

version from the Swedish kitten. 60s Scandi-chic.

Fever – Timi Yuro – 1963: Chicago born blue-eyed

soulstress’s version with lovely stringsFever – Earl Grant – 1957: Piano profundo,

Wurlitzer,

big beat drums and sleazy sax. A super shaker.

Fever - La Lupe – 1968: Fania records star adds the

latin and brings the boogaloo, baby.Fever - Carlos & the Bandidos -2008fired up surfabilly scorcher

The Fever Scalethe song that launched a thousand versions by Shamblin’ Sexton

monster of the month:MECHAGODZILLA

I coughed, what else was there

to do. I tried to free my hands

but it was no good. I could hear

a dull thump above my head

getting louder and louder. I felt

my head pounding like a Sandy

Nelson drum solo. The banging

was now inches from my head.

The gas was making my dizzier

than a dipso on their fifth

Manhattan. CRASH!An axe blistered the wood above

my face catching my forehead in

the process. Crimson poured into my eyes.

If you want to live, you must die!!!a punk noir periodicalepisode 3: “Back from the Grave"

So here's the recap, hard and fast.

Yours truly, Chris Sick, have been

framed for murdering a girl called

Ivy, 5ft 10 worth of danger and

100 pounds of beauty. The kinda

girl that could sell sour smile at

sweet prices. I ran from the cops

and slipped into a dive called the

Blind Tiger Club a speakeasy with a

reputation for hard drink and hard

customers. Some wiseguy cracked

me over the head and I woke up,

tied up, held up in a coffin and gas

was coming in.

Bound, choked, blind and dazed,

I saw a shadow rip open the

coffin & pull me out before I

passed out again. Twice in one

day is careless. The rain washed

the blood from my eyes and I

looked around. Tombstones

surrounded me like drunks at

a party, I leant over to see my

grave. No funeral for me today,

not yet and then I saw her

standing there...

It Was IVY!! It Was IVY!! her eyes were as cold as rigor mortis. She walked up to me like a breath of smoke.

"What the hell's goin' on! You were as dead as disco, last time I looked!"

"I was, I am, There's no time to explain now. The End is coming"

"But..." I stopped and spin round to see the shadows behind me. We were surrounded...

Who framed him?

What happened to ivy?

Who tried to kill him?

What's in the shadoWs?

Join us next time for

another installment

"dead factory"

based on a false story

by chris sick

the bettie page

In a kitch ‘50s diner, Uma Thurmen turns to John Travolta and says, “I wanna dance, I wanna win, I want that trophy, so dance good”they start with the twist, into the swim and the monkey. But the one that steals the show, and has been parodied countless times, is the Batusi.The horizontal Vs drawn menacingly across the dancer’s eyes, piercing stare and twistin’ pelvis but where did this come from?

The Batusi first appeared in the premiere episode of the 1960s American tv series Batman.

One account is that it was invented by dance instructor Arthur Murray for Batman, and was supposedly first performed at a cocktail party at a New York City discothèque, Harlow's.

Wherever it came from, it still remains one of the greatest novelty dances to come out of the ‘60s.

The Batusi