SSR TIME

College Prep 4-8-13

Refresher…..

Participles? Definition and examples

Participial Phrases???? Definition and examples

YAY IMAGE GRAMMAR!!!!!

Painting with

Participles Participle: a verbal that functions as an

adjective Verbal: a verb form that functions in a

sentence as a noun or modifier rather than as a verb.

A more simplified way to explain a participle is: “an ing verb tagged on the beginning or end of a sentence.”

Participial example

“Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.”

The participles evoke action. Suddenly, we can see the snakes coiling and slithering. We feel PART of the experience.

Participial Phrases

Participial Phrases: a participle along with any modifiers that complete the image.

Modifiers: A word, phrase, or clause that functions as an adjective or adverb to limit or qualify the meaning of another word or word group.

Combo example and explanation

“Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling their cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.”

Both methods (single participles and participial phrases) paint more detailed picture.

Using the single participles creates rapid movement, while expanded phrases add details at a slower, but equally intense pace.

Examples

“Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved.”

-Ernest Hemingway

Absolutes???

Definition and examples

Absolute Phrases??? Definition and examples

Still Refresing

Absolutes

Absolute: a two-word combination-a noun and an ing or ed verb added onto a sentence.

Absolutes utilize verbs; therefore, this brush stroke also adds action to an image.

Examples

“The cat climbed the tree.”

Does this work? Does it show or tell?

Good example

“Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat climbed the tree.”

Was this better? Show or tell?

Absolute phrases

Absolute phrases combine an absolute and a modifier. Modifiers: A word, phrase, or clause that

functions as an adjective or adverb to limit or qualify the meaning of another word or word group.

Absolute phrases are to absolutes as participial phrases are to participles.

Absolute Phrases Examples

“Feet trembling on the snow covered rocks, the mountain climber edged along the cliff.”

Which part of the sentence is the absolute and which is the modifier?

Which is the noun that the absolute phrase adjective(fies)?

Appositives???

Definition and Examples

Yep…still going

Image Grammar #3Painting with Appositives

An appositive is: A word or phrase that clarifies the previous word or phrase and expands meaning. Created to make a statement more clear.

For our purposes: a noun that adds a second image to a preceding noun.

Like the absolute, the appositive expand details in the reader’s mind.

Why is this helpful

now? Well, all image grammar is helpful in all form

of writing, but…..

Painting with appositives give clarity to your topic. This is especially helpful when writing a writer needs to make their subject especially clear

For Example

By adding a second image to the noun raccoon in the sentence “The raccoon enjoys eating turtle eggs,” the writer/artist can enhance the first image with a new perspective.

IS THIS BETTER:

CONT

“The raccoon, a scavenger, enjoys eating turtle eggs.”

Scavenger follows raccoon in the sentence; it’s set of with commas and enriches the image.

The appositive ZOOMS in on the subject, making the image more complete.

EVEN MORE DETAILS?!

Yes, tis true. You can add more!

“The raccoon, a midnight scavenger who roams lake shorelines in search for food, enjoys eating turtle eggs.”

Pretty rad!!!

“And then, suddenly, in the very dead of the

night, there came a sound to my ears, clear, resonant, and unmistakable.”

OR

“And then, suddenly, in the very dead of night, there came a clear, resonant, unmistakable sound to my ears.”

…Which of these sounds better?!?!

The first one is RAD!!!! This is how it is done.

It is how the masters do it.

But what is this called and how do we do it?!?!?!?!?!

Your opinion is wrong…

“Adjectives out of order”

First off…what is an adjective????

Now for the new junk n stuff

Adjectives out of order amplify the details of an

image.

In an effort to pack as many details into an image as possible, we tend to overload our descriptions with too many adjectives:

“The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged the intruder.” Also, these adjective are “in-order”

Adjectives out of order

EXIT SLIP….YOU NEED ONE

So get out a piece of paper ya’ll Lets come up with some phrases in which the

adjective are in order (lets focus on using three)

PIC #1

Pic #2

A.O.O.

When we want to avoid a three-in-a-row string

or overloading an image, we can use adjectives out of order.

We can change our elementary sentence with two easy steps.

A.O.O.

Step 1: Keep one adjective in place

Step 2: Shift the other two adjectives AFTER the noun

Steps

Lets take our sentence: “The large, red-eyed, angry

bull moose charged the intruder.”

Step 1: Keep the first adjective where it is and move the noun up next to it: “The large bull moose…”

Step 2: Shift the other two adjectives BEHIND the noun: “The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the

intruder.”

Example

The effect creates a spotlight and intensifies

the image, giving it a profound rhythm instead of the elementary cadence of the original.

Simply put, like all our image grammar, this makes you sound MAD smart…

Why is this better??

“The pavilion was a simple city, long and

rectangular.” Could be: “The pavilion was a simple, long, and

rectangular city.

“I could smell Mama, crisp and starched, plumping my pillow, and the cool muslin pillowcase touched both my ears as the back of my head sank into all those feathers.”

Lets look at how the masters do er

“The woman, old and wrinkled, smiled upon

her newborn great-grandson with pride.”

“The boxer, twisted and tormented, felt no compassion for his contender.”

“The cheetah, tired and hungry, stared at the gazelle, which would soon become his dinner.”

How 8th graders do er

Rewrite your first two descriptions…and write an new

one for the third

Pic 1

Pic 2

Pic 3

I wanna hear ‘em!!!

Your turn

Using your body paragraphs out alcohol,

rewrite a sentence using adjectives out of order.

Share it up…. We want to hear what your sentence was

originally AND what it is now.

YOUR TURN AGAIN!!

Verbs: action words…words that indicate movement

By eliminating PASSIVE VOICE and reducing “to be” verbs, writers can energize action images.

Verbs of passive voice communicate no action.

Typically, passive voice verbs require the help of a “to be” verb.

Painting with Action Verbs

“To be” verbs:

is am are was were be

being been

First…what are “to be” verbs

1. The “to-be” verbs: is, am, are, was, were, be,

being, been are state of being verbs, which means that they unduly claim a degree of permanence. For example, “I am hungry.” For most Americans, hunger is only a temporary condition.

2. The “to-be” verbs claim absolute truth and exclude other views. “Classical music is very sophisticated.” Few would agree that all classical compositions are always sophisticated.

What’s Wrong With This?

3. The “to-be” verbs are general and lack

specificity. A mother may tell her child, “Be good at school today.” The more specific “Don’t talk when the teacher talks today” would probably work better.

4. The “to-be” verbs are vague. For example, “That school is great.” Clarify the sentence as “That school has wonderful teachers, terrific students, and supportive parents.”

5. The “to-be” verbs often confuse the reader about the subject of the sentence. For example, “It was nice of you to visit.” Who or what is the “It?”

What’s Wrong With This?

“The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old,

white-whiskered rancher.”

“The grocery store was robbed by two armed men.”

Notice how the word “by” signals the noun performing the action. Passive voice can weaken images by freezing the action.

How could we fix these????? Write them on your exit ticket.

Passive Voice Examples

We swap out our “to be” verbs (“was ridden”

and “was robbed”)

“The old, white-whiskered rancher rode the runaway horse into town.”

“Two armed men robbed the grocery store.”

Fixes

Even when not used as a part of a passive voice, “to

be” verbs slow the action and tend to link complements that TELL. (SHOW DON’T TELL!!!!)

We can improve our writing (“effective word choice”) when we replace as many “to be” verbs as possible.

Action verbs replace still photos with motion pictures. “The gravel road was on the left side of the barn.” “The gravel road curled around the left side of the

barn.”

More passive voice

Change our passive sentence into and active

sentence using action verbs.

“The biker was in the air.”

Pic #1

Our turn

Change our passive sentence into and active

sentence using action verbs.

“The car is on fire.”

Pic #2

Our turn

Change our passive sentence into and active

sentence using action verbs.

“The cop was killed by the explosion.”

Pic #3

Our turn

Not ALL “to be” verbs can be eliminated…if we

cannot easily replace our “to be” verb, maybe it belongs in the sentence.

But….