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April and May 1, 2016

Support for child, infant and pregnancy loss

Volume 4 Issue 25

Pathways

Miss our last newsletter?

All newsletters can be

viewed on our website.

For a hard copy, contact

our office.

“Because the path of grief after losing a child should never be walked alone”™

Mailing Address: P.O. Box 382 Dayton, VA 22821

Physical address: 195 Main Street Dayton, VA 22821

www.sadierosefoundation.org ~ 540-810-0307~ [email protected]

Support groups, Internet community, One-on-one lay counseling, Remembrance events

* If you would like to

share your story of loss

and how the Sadie Rose

Foundation has impacted

your grief journey, please

contact our office.

* If you know of someone

who might benefit from

the support we offer,

please help us make the

connection.

Lauren Jefferson and Kassandra

Galloway contributed to this

newsletter.

Our mission: To

provide emotional

and spiritual

support to families

and individuals

grieving the death

of a child, because

the path of grief

after losing a child

should never be

walked alone.™

Current Needs

If you have any of the

following you no

longer need, please

consider SRF.

*Kitchen silverware

*Dishes and bowls

*Pots and pans

THANK YOU for

all you’ve already

provided!

We are grateful for the donation we received In Loving

Memory of Tanner Brooks Morris, From Jerry, Sandy,

Kelsea and Aubree Morris.

This month’s newsletter is sponsored by Dr. Cathy Slusher in loving

memory of her son, David, who was stillborn May 12, 1987.

“Thank you for this opportunity to celebrate my son,” she writes.

SRF Walk, Run, and Fun Day!

Formerly known as the annual Sadie Rose 5K

Please read thoroughly, as multiple changes have been

made for this year’s event!

Because our event has moved from a less competitive event into a community remem-

brance event, we wanted to accommodate those changes. Instead of setting up/starting

at Wilbur Pence Middle School, our staging area will be at the College Street Pavil-

ion 360 College Street Dayton, VA. However, free parking is available at Wilbur Pence

Middle School. We ask that you park there and walk down to the pavilion.

This will be a NON-TIMED event! If you would like to track your time, please be pre-

pared to do that on your own. We will have a celebratory finish line where families and

teams can cross the finish line together.

We will have prizes for the first overall male and first overall female, but we will not

have the age-group awards. Instead, every person registered for the walk will be en-

tered into a raffle to win lots of generous prizes.

We are pre-selling raffle tickets for $10 each! You don’t have to be present to win

and you can also purchase tickets the day of the event. All prizes are valued at $200 and

up and include a set of outdoor chairs donated by Premier Vinyl in Bridgewater valued

at $432! (Winner chooses color.) A 35 quart ice blue Yeti cooler, a $372 value! A

Playstation 4 with 2 wireless controllers, a $395 value!A Canon EOS Rebel T5 DSLR

Camera with EF-S 18-55mm IS II Lens + Focus Telephoto and Wide Angle Lens + 32GB

Memory Card + Extra Battery Pack + Deluxe Acc, a $420 value! There might be addi-

tional prizes in this category, and tickets will be drawn after the walk.

We will also have raffles tables for smaller items at the event. If you would like to con-

tribute gift certificates, service certificates, product, or donate money for us to purchase

prizes, please email us at [email protected] or call Regina at 540-421-6458.

There will be complimentary refreshments available as well as opportunities to pur-

chase food from Mama’s Caboose. Children’s activities. And more! Register online at

http://sadierosefoundation.org/ or use the enclosed registration form.

One-on-one support is available at our office by appointment. Call Regina at 540-810-4351 or

email regina@sadierosefoundation to schedule a time.

We also have several private Facebook groups, one for bereaved parents and one for those

who are pregnant after a loss. This is in addition to our public Facebook page. Feel free to

request to join these groups that apply.

Parents who are willing to talk if you are interested

Frank Bennett—540–383-9082—lost infant. Frank also has a bereaved dad’s support forum

on Facebook called “Daddy’s Breath.”

Tanya Bennett—540-383-9077—also on Facebook. Lost infant

Daniel and Naomi Lambert—540-433-8894—lost two infants. Also have teenagers as sibling

support

Anita Thompson—540-209-3251—also on Facebook. Grandparent/parent support

Lee Harlow—540-480-4928 and Regina Harlow—540-810-4351—also on Facebook. Lost

infant

Suzy LaBonte—540-833-4185—[email protected]. Lost teenager. Hosts a support

group called “Lanterns of Hope” for those who have lost a loved one to suicide.

Angie Magenhofer—[email protected]—also on Facebook. Stillbirth and miscarriage

Laura Riggleman—540-282-1633. Stillbirth and miscarriage support.

Deborah Bellesheep-Thompson—[email protected]—540-820-3446. Lost young

adult child.

If you would like to be added to this list as a volunteer support contact, please contact us.

Pathways

Additional support

For Miscarriage Support ~ Contact

Brittany Bates at 540-421-3881 or

[email protected].

May 9: Bereaved Parent Support

Meeting, Adults only, 7 p.m. Sadie Rose

House. For parents who have lost a child of

any age.

May 12: Coffee Open House, Sadie Rose

House 9:30—11:30 a.m.. Come and go as you

please. ***Children are usually present at

this event.

May 27: Bereaved Family Support

Meeting. Sadie Rose office, 7 p.m.

Sibling support and childcare available.

Families welcome.

One-on-One appointments available by

contacting Regina at 540-421-6458 or

[email protected].

Coffee Open House is held the second

Thursday of each month, Bereaved Parent

Meetings the second Monday and Bereaved

Family Meetings the fourth Friday. Some

exceptions apply, so check our website,

calendar, and Facebook page often. For more

information about any of our events, please

contact our office.

Support Meeting Schedule

Current Collectibles

We are often asked what donated items would help us. We will

suggest a focus each month of an item/items that help in our

support efforts. Current Collectibles: Gift cards, products,

service certificates, as well as chocolate chip and oatmeal

raisin cookies, all for our Walk, Run, and Fun Day.

Have you considered attending one of our support group meetings? We know that

taking that first step can be the hardest. Consider asking a friend or family member

to come with you. Another way to lesson the anxiety of showing up for the first time

is to connect with people online in our “Additional Support” section below or on our

online support chat. With the exception of our Miscarriage Support Group, our

groups are open to those who have lost a child of any age. All our meetings are held

at 195 Main Street Dayton, VA 22821. Please let us know how we can best support

you on your grief journey.

What to expect at our

Support Meetings

Currently all support group meet-

ings are held at the Sadie Rose

House 195 Main Street Dayton,

across the street from Dayton

Church of the Brethren. Our be-

reaved parent meetings and be-

reaved family meetings are both fa-

cilitated by Regina Cyzick Harlow.

All our meetings are informal. No

one is expected or required to talk

unless they choose to do so. Most

every meeting begins with casual

conversation. Throughout the meet-

ing, you can expect moments of

tears and times of laughter. Some-

times we talk about our children and

our losses and sometimes we talk

simply as friends. The meetings are

not scripted and sometimes there are

moments of comfortable silence in

the presence of those who under-

stand. Please consider bringing a

friend if that would be helpful.

It's so curious: one can resist

tears and 'behave' very well in the

hardest hours of grief. But then

someone makes you a friendly

sign behind a window, or one no-

tices that a flower that was in bud

only yesterday has suddenly

blossomed, or a letter slips from a

drawer... and everything collaps-

es. ~Colette

When someone you love dies, and

you're not expecting it, you don't

lose her all at once; you lose her in

pieces over a long time -- the way

the mail stops coming, and her

scent fades from the pillows and

even from the clothes in her closet

and drawers. Gradually, you ac-

cumulate the parts of her that are

gone. Just when the day comes --

when there's a particular missing

part that overwhelms you with the

feeling that she's gone, forever --

there comes another day, and an-

other specifically missing part.

~ John Irving

Pathways

Nicole Nicholson

Sunrise: April 1, 1991

Sunset: February 16, 2009

Hannah Mae Lewis


Sunset: October 28, 2012

Tanner Brooks Morris


Sunset: March 29, 2012

Iliana Rose Strickler

Sunrise: April 5,1998

Sunset: August 30, 2007

Atum-Ra Kemet


Sunset: July 9, 2012

Ricky Valencia



Zachary Levi Swartley


Sunset: April11, 2014

Bethany Lynn Thompson

Sunrise: April12, 2005

Sunset: April 12, 2005

Kayle Elizabeth Selkirk

Sunrise: July 16, 2004


Mason Daniel Lambert


Sunset: May 7, 2005

Jude Blackburn


Sunset: July 26, 2009

Kaitlyn Caldwell



Bralyn Davis-Vest

Sunrise: December 17, 2013


Ethan Wagner

Sunrise: August 4, 1988


Matty Bolton



Julian Santana White


Sunset: December 4, 2013

Ava Grace Broyles



Grace Barnhart



Gregory Andrew Nichols


Sunset: March 2, 2012

Holly Beth White

Sunrise: May 23, 1991


Cody Scott Miller


Sunset: May 1, 2014

Logan Reedy


Sunset: December 26, 2011

Ryan Azel Shank


Sunset: May 2, 2013

Alicia Nicole Dove



Shawn Mantz



Camden Lee Magenhofer


Sunset: May 5, 2009

Emmaline Carolinda Ross


Sunset: May 8, 2010

Gwenyth Graham Carpenter

Sunrise: March 17, 2010

Sunset: May 14, 2010

Brooklyn Wood



Camden Katherine Lafkin

Sunrise: February 14, 2012


Dominic Shank



Jameson Andrew Lam

Sunrise: August 15, 2007


Joshua Thomas Davis

Sunrise: February 25, 2002


Daniela Irene Wine



Amaya Johnson



If you would like your child to be included

in the month of their sunrise (birth) and the

month of their sunset (death), or to have

them removed from this list, please email

office@sadierosefoundation or mail your

request to P.O. Box 382 Dayton, VA 22821.

Remembering

On April, 17, 2016, Regina Cyzick Harlow was ordained into

Christian ministry through the Church of the Brethren

denomination. This has been three years of classes and an

additional year of preparation and training. With this training,

Regina has already provided funeral services for children whose

families did not have pastoral support or a church home. This also

provides additional opportunities to be available at hospitals and

medical offices in the role as clergy when requests are made. Regina

looks forward to continuing to serve all those grieving the death of a

child, regardless of their faith background. (Photo: District Executive Minister John Jantzi and Regina Cyzick Harlow. Photo Credit: Bill Wood)

The Sadie Rose Foundation is a Shenandoah Valley based non-profit organization that offers support to families that have experienced the death of a child, including through pregnancy loss and

miscarriage. All our support and outreach is free of charge. Donations appreciated. For a complete list of our services, visit our website and click on the “Support and Outreach” tab or contact our

office at 540-810-0307, [email protected], www.sadierosefoundation.org.

The Sadie Rose Foundation

P.O. Box 382

Dayton, VA 22821

April May 2016

By Regina Cyzick Harlow

My husband tried, he really did. But

the first Mother’s Day after Sadie died

proved there was room for better commu-

nication between us. He was still in bed

when I walked downstairs that Sunday

morning and saw, of all things, a large

beautiful fern with a bow and a card tied

to the hanger. I cried so hard I fell to my

knees.

Now before I sound ungrateful, I need

to give some background to my experi-

ence with live plants and Sadie’s death.

You see, I love plants; I just can’t keep

them alive. When Sadie died, people sent

the most beautiful live plants and rose-

bushes I had ever seen, but within sever-

al months, I had successfully killed them

all.

Every plant that died was another

painful reminder of Sadie’s death. It was-

n’t the fault of the wonderful caring peo-

ple who had given such thoughtful gifts;

it was simply that I didn’t have “the

touch.” I felt like a failure. I thought I

had communicated that to Lee, but here,

on my first “Angel” Mother’s Day was a

formidable fern. So without my baby girl

to hold that Sunday morning, I was also

painfully aware of the fate of that fern. It

eventually joined all the other dead

plants on the compost pile. I determined

that from that time forward, it was per-

fectly okay to request no plants. Howev-

er, the fact that Lee remembered Sadie

with me and acknowledged her life in a

special way on Mother’s Day meant a lot.

Besides having her child back, there’s

nothing a mother wants more than to

have her deceased child remembered and

her role as a mother validated. We have

not forgotten our children that have died,

so remembering them with us is one of

the best Mother’s Day gifts you can give.

Here are some suggestions for the

mothers in your life who are

grieving the death of a child.

Keep it simple. A smile, a hug, and a

card that says “Thinking of you this

Mother’s Day” will mean the world.

If you wish, you can add something

like “Remembering (child’s name)

with you on this Mother’s Day.”

A gift basket with some of her favor-

ite snacks or beauty supplies is

great. Include a journal and write a

few positive hopeful thoughts in the

front for her to reflect on. Add a re-

membrance candle for her to light on

special days such as Mother’s Day.

A stuffed animal can be wonderful -

something small-to-medium in size

that she can sit on a shelf, sleep

with, keep in her car, wherever it

brings her comfort.

Make a donation to a charity in her

child’s name.

Plant a tree. Obviously, not everyone

faces the horticultural challenges

that I do, so for some, a live plant or

tree might be a wonderful way to

remember a child on Mother’s Day.

But before giving a live plant or any

other gift, consider the lifestyle and

personality of the recipient.

Don’t push her to attend banquets,

functions or meals that might over-

whelm her.

Don’t try to ignore it, fix it, make it

better or explain it away. Mother’s

Day without your child is difficult at

best. Instead of saying things to try

to make it better, just let her know

you care.

Most importantly, be there for her.

Ask her if she wants to talk about

her child (most moms do.) Then lis-

ten.

Connect With Us!

If you would like to receive

meeting reminders, weather

cancellations, and other

occasional communications

from SRF, please use the

following instructions. This is

one of the most effective ways

to remind you of meetings

and meeting changes. Stand-

ard text messaging rates may

apply.

SRF Connections: General

information reminders: Send a

text to 81010 and for the mes-

sage, type @srfconnect.

Fourth Friday Family Meetings:

Send text to 81010 and type

@fourthfrid.

Second Monday Parent Meetings:

Send text to 81010 and type

@secondmon.

THE STORY OF THE FERN

With tips for Mother’s Day after a child has died

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