Speak STRONG,

Smart, &

Sweet The 3 Sources of Power

for Assistants to Master Tough Conversations

Note

This PowerPoint accompanies the DVD and MP3Speak STRONG, Smart & Sweet The 3 Sources of Power for Assistants to Master Tough Conversations

Available at http://www.speakstrong.com/store/

Read the accompanying article:Key Conversations for Administrative Assistants located

here: http://www.speakstrong.com/articles/assts-support/savvy-assistants.html

Poison Phrase of the Week

- Blame it on your assistant

Teach Your Children Well

Codes

•A system used for brevity or secrecy of communication

•A set of standards

Code of Ethics for Administrative Professionals

1. The administrative professional shall act as a trusted agent in professional relations, implementing responsibilities in the most competent manner and exercising knowledge and skill to promote the interests of the immediate and corporate employer.

2. The administrative professional shall strive to maintain and enhance the dignity, status, competence, and standards of the profession and its practitioners.

3. The administrative professional shall insist that judgments concerning continued employment, compensation, and promotion be based upon professional knowledge, ability, experience, and performance.

4. The administrative professional must consider the promotion and preservation of the safety and welfare of the public to be the paramount duty.

Maria’s Job Description

•Write memos•Set up meetings•Handle complaints•Sort mail•Order supplies

•Compose memos•Coordinate events•Manage customer relations•Prioritize communication•Make purchasing decisions

Codes WeCan Cling To

Three sources of communication power

1.Strength / determination / toughness

2.Smarts / savvy / clarity

3.Sweetness / saintliness / heart

Full-brain communication

As strong as…

A PowerPhrase is as strong as it needs to be and no stronger…

You’ve got to be tough if you’re going to be stupid

Calm Down!!

BreatheBreatheThe Power of Integrated

Communication

A real tear-stopper

Get them…

•Thinking (objective)•Feeling (connection, team)

•Acting (results, goals)

Communication Options

What kind of idiot are you?-The same kind of idiot as the person who hired me

I will not allow you to talk with me that way. I expect to be treated as a professional.

Calling me an idiot is counterproductive to our efficiency…

and to our working relationship.

Communication Options

Can’t you follow any directions?

-I could if they weren’t being given by a moron

Stop.

Learning curves are natural.

Let’s work as a team.

Communication Options

My dog can do a better job than you can.

- Hire your dogThat remark is insulting.

I’m on your team.

I am a professional and I expect to be treated as one.

Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to ChooseLose: Pathetically Passive

Encumbered with a low self image, Bob takes a job as a speed-bump.

Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose

Lose: Annoyingly Aggressive

Bob’s group encounter sessions were not working out.

Bottle and BlowDo You Go From…

Silence to violence?Holding back to attack?

Mute to brute?

Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose

Lose: Deceptively Passive-Aggressive

I love your hair! Do you cut it yourself?

Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose

Choose: Effectively Assertive!

Claim your authority

I don’t want to talk to you. I want to talk to your boss.

I can pass your question on to my boss – she’ll get back to you in a few days. However, there’s a good chance I can help you now. Which do you prefer?

Speak with your boss’ voice

I can’t help you

(Boss’s name) sent me here to get this, and (name) expects me to return with the information she sent me to get. I will tell (name) that you told me you won’t give me the information she sent me to get.

Clear job descriptions

(Boss) has told me that my first priority is to do this project. If she gives approval to prioritize your request over hers, Ill be happy to do that. Let me know if she does that.

Clear work relationship

1. Weekly written updates2. Daily meetings3. Weekly meetings4. Judgment calls

Take charge without taking over

What would they want me to do?

Keep on walking until someone tells

you to stop

PowerPhrases: Short. Specific. Targeted. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Not mean when you say it.

Craft Clear Phrases

Be Brief

Whoa! Way too much information!

A PowerPhrase is as long as it needs to be…

…and no longer.

Dive right in

I have three questions for you and I need five minutes of your time.

Be Specific

PowerPhrases are Specific

No dear, when I said I was leaving this morning, it wasn’t for good. I should be home around seven.

Task clarification

1.Specs2.Deadline3.Budget4.Priority relating to

other tasks

Be specific

I’ll get this to you by 3 PM TuesdayIn order to complete this project, I need three things from you. They are…I need your authority. Will you please tell the team that you expect them to respond to my requests as they would respond to yours. I’m leaving at 4:15 today.

I’ll get this to you soon.

This is not clear.

Get the team to listen to me.

I’m leaving early.

PowerPhrases are Targeted

Know what you want

1. Be clear about your boundaries2. Keep your job3. Get information

Say What You Mean…

Think / factsFeel / connectionWant / act

Thoughts/Facts

(I think) that’s a great idea.(I think) it may be unrealistic to try to

get that by tonight.I think you’re an idiot to ask that.

Feel/connection

I care about your request.I’m concerned that if I try to make that

happen, something else will not get done.

I respect you and want to honor your request.

We would love that.That would bring us together.

Want / Action

I want to be able to do what you ask without dropping a ball that I’m already juggling.

I will check on it and get back to you. I will do my best to research that once

I’ve fought the fires that are blazing right now. Is that acceptable?

Mean what you say

Back your words up with action

I mean what I say

Please log your request into my assignment book.

While I’d like to honor your request, I’ve already committed my time to Mary. If you want me to give your project priority, please talk to her.

I will be leaving on time today.

Don’t be mean when you say it

Fact-finding, not fault-finding.

That’s the way you gave it to me.You’re not making sense.You never told me that.

Before leaving last week I asked the department members if they had all that was needed to hold down the fort while I was gone. My part time assistant shoots me the comment

Yeah, for you not to make any mistakes before you leave.

Facts. Feeling. Action.

• (I think) you are asking me to do something illegal.

• I feel uncomfortable with that.• I will notarize it if I see your wife sign it.

• (I think) by transferring this, I put myself at risk.

• I feel afraid to do that.• I will transfer it when I know Cliff has

signed off on it.

Administrative Assistant’s Ultimate Communication Formula

Say What You MeanMean What You Say

Without being Mean When You Say It

Maria’s Job Description

•Write memos•Set up meetings•Handle complaints•Sort mail•Order supplies

•Compose memos•Coordinate events•Manage customer relations•Prioritize communication•Make purchasing decisions

Proactive

Not an order-takerComputerized process that used to

be done by hand?Just an assistant?We have a problem. I have a

solution.No trash can? I’ll just get one.

Action Steps

1. Determine what conversations you need to have

2. Define your codes3. Develop PowerPhrases

for common situations4. Practice your phrases5. Start small6. Applaud baby steps7. Workup to the big one8. Keep on walking until

someone tells you to stop

For more information…

Get the DVD or MP3 of this presentation at: www.speakstrong.com/store/

Bring Meryl to your meeting or organization. Visit: www.speakstrong.com/hire_meryl/keynotes.html#power