Musicians: How to Deal with Bad Attitudes

Human beings can be pretty complex life units. Some people are easy to work

with while others seem impossible.

In the professional work-a-day world of a freelance musician there are fewer

attitude difficulties than when guys are just starting out. Why? Well, when you

have attitude problems that make getting the show on the road difficult you get

fired. Period. When rehearsals and gigs need to occur, there’s no room for

wasting time on people with attitude problems or lack of commitment when

commitment is needed. One of the hallmarks of a professional is not letting his

emotions, personal feelings or hobbies get in the way of productivity. The only

people who get away with problem-attitudes are guys that are so great at what

they do that they are in great demand. (This is NOT the way to go!) Even so, they

don’t last long!

A bottom line observation is—just as you have things you want to do, and ways

you think they should be done—so do others. Conflict simply arises when person

“A” and person “B” see things differently. Though some people are crazed

beyond sanity, and some people act evilly towards those around them, they are

still just trying to do what they think is best. Keeping that as an underlying

viewpoint can be quite helpful.

When dealing with sane people, working out conflicts is feasible because you

can discuss different points of view and come to some kind of conclusion about

whatever you’re dealing with. (This doesn’t mean that if you can’t come to a

conclusion that one of you is not sane though…) People want to be right and live

well, but sometimes their idea of right is either very different than yours, or

enforced on you.

When faced with conflict, communication is the only remedy. When you have

enough understanding of another person’s viewpoints, and they have enough

under-standing of your viewpoints—resolution is possible if the goals involved

are aligned enough. In order to accomplish this, you have to respect people

enough to let them have their say, and inquire about things that you don’t

understand, while really listening to what you hear. It’s amazing how different

another person’s viewpoint can be.

Working things out with people who have

heavy attitudes can be a different story,

and depending upon how good you are in

human behaviour will have an easy or

rough time at it. The same principle of

communication being key applies, but you

need to have more patience with someone

if they: reject what you say; don’t seem to

be willing to get the point; argue

needlessly; or portray a myriad of

unworkable attitudes. You need to deal

with them at a reality level they’ll get—and

talk it out until some conclusion is arrived

at.

A workable method of dealing with

negative attitudes is to align the

conversation to the goal of the activity,

e.g., what’s going to get us the most work, what’s going to make rehearsals

more efficient, etc. Regardless of the attitude, the one common reality you’ll

have is that you are both currently in the same location, the room for example,

and probably in the same band with some kind of mutual goal. That’s the

alignment factor and your safety net because you at least have these things in

common.

Something to realize is that some people will never change their attitude unless

they go through some intense emotional and/or spiritual changes that undercut

their entire mental attitude of existence. If you try to change them you’re not

only wasting everybody’s time, but are headed for disaster and endless

difficulty. A rock is a rock. But, if you can get some agreement on where you are

going and what are you doing to get there, sometimes you can work things out.

You don’t have to be friends with the people you work with. When you’re playing

good music the aesthetic quality of the creation of art can transcend the entire

human factor, though it is best to like the people you play with.

If you can’t work things out, there are only three things you can do:

Live with it.

Fire the person.

Quit the band yourself.

LIVING WITH IT

I was in a nine-piece show band at an

amusement park many years ago, and the

drummer was impossible to work with. He’d

throw trash on the floor wherever he was,

constantly made fun of people, rushed like mad

when soloing and accused the rest of the band

of dragging. He was a real pain. Everyone in the

band, especially the band leader, had called him

aside at one point or another and tried to work

it out. We wanted him to stop doing these

things because it bugged us, but the drummer

was always right. He always had a reason and a “valid” excuse for every point

mentioned and wasn’t going to see anybody else’s viewpoint for nothin’. Socially

he was a pretty pleasant guy—but his attitude about life was pretty hostile. If it

was my band I would have fired him. But, I liked the gig so just never talked to

him about anything more than the weather, and never hung out with him unless I

had to.

Because of the way I acted, I had a very cool gig for four years. On the other

hand, the trombonist was constantly getting into squabbles and arguments with

the guy because he was trying to get him to change—which was a losing battle.

The person with the highest awareness of the situation inherits being

responsible for it one way or the other. It’s as much your responsibility to work

with an unruly person as it is for him to work with you. Given that we don’t need

to agree on everything to gig with each other, many situations can be avoided

by not actively aggravating the situation ourselves.

FIRING SOMEONE

A keyboardist in my main casual band once would not get

with the program. He was a great player, but during

dinner sets would always get too loud and “outside” for

the audiences we were playing for. We extensively

discussed how it was bad for business in that it annoyed

people, displeased the clients and could hurt our

referrals. He was a seasoned player and knew all of these

things, but his heart was no longer in this type of work

and he just stopped caring about anything but doing what

he wanted. So I fired him—and he was a friend of mine.

Business is business.

Before firing somebody it’s good to give a guy a chance unless he’s totally

impossible, then I suggest the following sequence:

Talk with the person and try to work it out.

If the problem persists, talk with the person again and be very specific—get

down to all the fine points. Discuss what is being said or done, and what the

results of his/her actions are, and the whole thing. Talk about the who, what,

where, why and becauses of it all.

If the problem still persists give him one last warning.

If the problem still persists fire him.

Realize too, that people can have bad days and go through tough times. Nothing

justifies being unprofessional, but unless something is chronic (always there),

helping someone work something out is a very cool thing to do. It’s good to help

the ones we’re associated with, and after all—we’re all in this together. The

better each of us does, the better everybody around us will do and vice versa.

QUITTING THE BAND

Sometimes you just have to quit the band, or not join it to begin with. If you’re

not gigging and are mostly playing for fun and experience, don’t do it if it’s not

fun!

If you don’t need the money, or feel confident about getting another gig as soon

as you need to—quit, and be done with the hassle. But, if you need the money,

and don’t have the confidence that you’ll get another gig by the time your money

runs out you might want to stick it out.

Something to keep in mind is your own mental

disposition toward things. If you are going to quit a

band because certain people introvert you and

make you feel bad—well, maybe anyone can introvert

you and make you feel bad because that’s the way you

are. Some people take offense easily, for example,

and are quickly bothered by things said to them, like

constructive criticism or not accepting an idea you

had, or whatever.

All I’m saying here is to also inspect yourself as well as others. We are

responsible for the things that happen in our lives and earth is a two-way street

whether we like it or not. All too often people point fingers toward someone else

before first seeing what’s going on with themselves.

There’s no one formula that says to do this or that. Some people never put up

with crap from anybody at anytime, while others can work things out. One

person can be bugged by someone’s attitude and somebody else not. We’re in

the field of human behavior here and it’s a pretty large one. The bottom line is—

you do what you need to do according to what you think is best. You need to

keep your personal integrity intact and take counsel with yourself despite any

evaluations from others.

(Be sure and work something out with groups you leave so you don’t leave a trail

of potential enemies behind. These may be people you eventually want to work

with, or people who might want to hire you at some point in the future.)

SELF-CONFIDENCE

The more confidence you have in yourself, the easier everything is. When you

are self-confident you feel good about who you are, what you are doing and have

faith in your ability to make correct decisions. The better you feel about yourself

the easier it is to actually observe what’s going on, then determine what to do or

how to act in any given situation.

Though many things can contribute to one’s confidence level, the bottom line for

a musician is his or her musicianship level, balanced with playing experience.

When you are good and know it, when you’ve played with many people and

experienced doing well, and when you’ve recovered and moved forward from

falling on your head a few times—you develop self-confidence. When you have

confidence in yourself it will come across to other people and they will have

confidence in you as well.

Whereas crooked teeth, being unhealthy and any emotional instabilities can all

diminish self-confidence; practicing efficiently, sounding good and liking what

you do can raise it. Practicing your instrument isn’t going to “cure” a deep-

seated fear of purple grasshoppers but the more you know about what you are

doing the better your chances are of having

true confidence.

Certain people seem confident all the time no

matter what they’re doing, or no matter how

well or not they are doing it. Some people are

just like that, whereas others need to work at

it harder. Displaying confidence can be many

things from having a natural inner calm,

covering up insecurities, to a burst of power

to pull oneself through a tough time.

People increase their confidence in many ways. Musically speaking, when you

train at your craft, get good, feel good about your playing and play with others a

lot you gain confidence.

ANTAGONISTIC PEOPLE

You cannot be successful or confident at anything if you are closely connected

to someone who is antagonistic toward you or what you are doing. Whether it be

open hostility toward you, or the smiley-faced-stabbing-remarks that “don’t

really mean anything,” these people can ruin your life—and will.

For the more innocent people in the world it can be hard to believe that

someone you are close to would prefer you to fail. Why would anybody be that

way? Well, without getting into the “Whys” of it all, some people are like that

and you need to be alerted to this fact.

Have you ever known anyone, that every time you’ve finished speaking with

them about what you are doing you feel like maybe you shouldn’t do it; or maybe

you’re not good enough; or you feel a little “smaller” than you did before? Well,

they might or might not be “bad people,” but chances are you shouldn’t talk to

them about your personal activities anymore.

The person who doesn’t believe your musical goals are valid and thinks they

should be given up; the girlfriend or boyfriend who gets pissed because you’re

always practicing or going out to rehearse; the person who insists that you

should “grow up” and stop dreaming about things that could never happen; and a

dozen viewpoints like these mean one thing—they want you to give your music

up, because in their eyes you are going to fail. (Chances are they gave up their

dreams long ago and couldn’t imagine anyone else achieving theirs.)

Life can be tough enough

without close contacts making it

worse.

If it’s not a chronic thing you can

generally work it out. For

example, if a husband starts

neglecting his wife, there’s

gonna be trouble, and some

family policy needs to be made.

If Aunt Martha hasn’t a clue

about what’s happening, you might be able to explain it to her in a way that

results in her saying, “Oh! I had no idea that you were so serious about your

music. Well, good luck!”

These are isolated situations that are easily remedied.

But, when you have someone actively counter-intending what you are doing, you

have got a problem that needs to be dealt with. There are only two ways to go:

(1) you handle the person so they never say these things to you, and even if they

don’t support what you are doing, at least they don’t oppose it—openly or

internally, or (2) you have to not see this person anymore. Period.

I’ve seen people quit playing because of associations like this; and I’ve seen a

dramatic resurgence of a persons career after remedying it. This is very

important, even if difficult to deal with—which it can be.

Fun and success are what’s happening, so don’t let anyone kill it for you—not

anyone.

The world needs good music and good entertainment; and if you have the

chance of supplying it I invite you to do so—it can benefit everyone around.

- See more at: http://buttwinickmusic.com/music-and-life-blog/bad-

attitudes/935/#sthas

We've been following SmugMug Films' ongoing behind-

the-lens series which provide a look at people who

follow their passions in photography. The latest

installment features Hawaii-based duo CJ Kale and

Nick Selway, who have spent the last ten years

photographing volcanic lava flows in their home state.

We asked the pair a few question about how they got started and

how they stay out of harm's way in their line of work. Here's what

they said.

How did each of you get started as photographers?

CJ: I started photographing when I was a kid with a camera my mom

gave me to get started. It was an Olympus that used a 1/2 wind, great

for learning exposure on film. I fell in love with photography and did it

as a hobby for years, later I pursued it as a career. Photographing the

lava and off of boats where I later met Nick Selway and we opened or

first gallery together about 10 years ago.

Nick: I always had a love for the outdoors. Later in college I took some

photography classes and learned that I had a natural eye. I needed to

learn the camera and the technical aspects of photography, and

school did that for me.

You work in some precarious, often dangerous settings. How do you

choose what gear you take with you?

We will choose gear that is needed to capture the particular shot or

shots that we are going for. Unfortunately due to weight we can't

always carry all the safety gear we would like to have. Water is

important but sometimes first aid is miles away. Camera gear takes

precedence

What gear do you shoot with most frequently?

Due to the cost of film we shoot mostly digital but when conditions

are right we love to shoot off a few frames of 4x5 film for the

resolution.

What kinds of precautions do you take when shooting near active

volcanos?

First we bring water as it is easy to get dehydrated out there. Next, a

mask for the fumes. Good shoes are important, and then the most

important thing is knowledge of the volcano and its dangers, which

can only be learned over time from someone who has learned it

before you.

Have you ever set up a shot and decided 'no this is too dangerous'?

In our line of work we come across many images that we would like

to capture but the conditions just do not allow for. Knowing these

conditions can be the difference between life and death out there.

What tips would you give a beginner interested in photographing

volcanoes?

The best tip is to go with a knowledgeable guide that will keep you

safe. After that, our best advice is to bring a good tripod to allow

you to be creative with your exposures. Always keep a keen eye on

changes in the landscape that occur constantly and adapt to them.

How do you stay inspired as photographers and artists?

With Mother Nature there is never a lack of inspiration - there is just

not enough time in this life to capture all we have been inspired by.

How do you define success?

Capturing an image that gives

someone the feeling of the area

that we were at and conveys

the beauty and spirit of the

landscape to its viewer.

Source: SmugMug

Kings Of Leon

have been the freshest

thing to come out of the

South of the U.S.A it the

last decade … But we

don’t quite know the

band behind the warm

southern accent and

the screaming fans…

"Once I start to drink you don’t

want to be around me because

there’s a level of brutal honesty, if not

just pure meanness." The frontman

also later added: "In a way, I lash out

at everyone else ’cause that’s when I

start to point fingers at myself. I don’t

know what I’m tormented by but it’s

something. Maybe I’m just a drunk."

"I’ve never been to rehab," he said. "I

just stopped. I enjoyed rediscovering

what it’s like to be normal, and not

play the role people expect. It

opened my eyes to a lot of stuff. It

doesn’t mean there aren’t gonna be

times when we all want to cut loose

and let our hair down. But I enjoy not

drinking. Next time you see me, you’ll

Kings Of Leon has

become accustomed

to play big stages in

the last 7 years

Probably be saying, well, that didn’t last long."

“Maybe I’m just a drunk.”

As another oppressive Tennessee

summer begins to give way to fall,

Kings of Leon are in the early stages

of turning up their own heat as they

shuffle about the comfortable

confines of their studio, checking

smartphones, twiddling knobs,

listening to rehearsal playbacks.

Dubbed Neon Leon, the studio is a

grey, nondescript building located

next to a construction equipment

business in a semi-sketchy area just

south of downtown Nashville. Surely

by design, passers-by would have no

inkling of what goes on inside these

tastefully decorated walls, where in

the previous months the band

laboured on its own construction project. That job is done: Mechanical Bull.

The stakes are higher than usual, a fact

not lost on brothers Caleb, Nathan and

Jared Followill and their cousin

Matthew Followill. That's particularly

true in the United States, where the

band's 2011 tour, already plagued by

injury and a notorious pigeon-shit

incident, ended badly, to put it mildly.

A ragged July show in Dallas was shut

down when yhe singer left the stage

vowing to vomit, drink a beer and

come back out to play three more

songs. He did not return.

The remaining U.S. dates were

cancelled, and band member tweets

alternated between apologies and

hints of conflicts. The media had a

field day, but the group did honour

remaining commitments for the year

in Canada, South Africa and Australia,

a move reported with less fervour.

Instead, ominous talk of a hiatus

followed, and the future of Kings of

Leon seemed to hang in the balance.

Caleb sighs-but doesn't bristle-when

the topic is broached. "I don't know. I

just had a bad day, I guess," he says

with only a hint of a smile. "We'd been

playing outdoor venues that were 105

degrees. We were exhausted, my

voice was non-existent. I was doing

everything I could to get by."

“…I'm gonna vomit, I'm gonna drink a beer and I'm gonna come back out and play three more songs."

Last time the Kings of Leon started a

major tour, they were arguably the

biggest young rock band in the

world, filling arenas on the strength

of their huge hits "Use Somebody"

and "Sex on Fire," from 2008's

Grammy-winning Only By The Night.

But the follow-up, 2010's Come

around Sundown, sold poorly in

comparison. "I pretty much checked

out for that Record," singer Caleb

Followill says now.

In a new Rolling Stone feature written

by associate editor Patrick Doyle, the

band open up about the rocky past

two years leading to their new album

Mechanical Bull, including a

disastrous Dallas gig in July 2011

when Caleb Followill announced, "I'm

gonna go backstage and I'm gonna

vomit, I'm gonna drink a beer and I'm

gonna come back out and play three

more songs." He never returned; the

band ended its tour early, cancelling

26 dates.

Caleb says he felt blindsided by the

band's comments following the

incident ("Fucking hate Caleb not us,"

bassist Jared Followill said onstage)

"Fucking hate Caleb not us,"

"I was fucking pissed," Caleb says. "I

got on a plane and went to New York

and was like, 'Fuck them,' you know.

And, you know, it hurts. It hurt when I

heard that, because I've always stood

behind them. I stood behind them

when we fucking walked offstage

because of pigeons. I've always been

like a one-for-all, all-for-one type. And

when I heard that, I was like, 'Wow.

Maybe it is time to step back for a

while.'"

The band mates didn't see one

another until days later, when they

met at a Nashville steakhouse. Several

news outlets reported that the band

ordered Caleb to rehab. When asked

if this is true, Jared and Matthew

Followill responded with long silence.

"I can't say no one necessarily thought

that," says Matthew. "If they had,

they knew I would have laughed at

that," Caleb responds. He adds that he

stopped drinking for nine months to

prove to the band he could: "I have

way too strong of a will to ever need

to go somewhere."

The Kings are back on the road

supporting Mechanical Bull, and their

goals have changed since their pop

radio-dominating days. "Back then,

we were trying to do something that

people remember," says Caleb. "Now

I'm trying to do something that makes

my daughter proud. One day,

hopefully I'll still be here, but if I'm

not, she'll be like, 'My dad was

fuckin' cool.'"

For the first time since the group

distinguished itself as a globally

significant rock band capable of

crossing over mega-hits and moving

millions of albums, Kings of Leon got

smacked around a bit. The rock press

had long shown the group love, and

the celebrity weeklies took note when

Caleb began dating (and eventually

married) model Lily Aldridge. Perhaps

the turn of the tide was inevitable. "It

was just our time to step away for a

second," Caleb says. "We had

Oversaturated the market with Kings

of Leon for so long that it was starting

to take a toll on us."

As it turned out, the singer did have

serious vocal issues, according to Ken

Levitan, who manages the band with

Andy Mendelsohn at Vector

Management. "The reality is Caleb

was having real problems with his

throat," Levitan says. "Was he

drinking a bit? Yeah. He was trying to

get through the shows. That's partially

why he was drinking. But [the tour

cancellation] was really a blessing in

disguise, because that's how we

found out about the issues with his

throat. He couldn't talk for two

weeks, and the doctor said, 'You're

not allowed to sing.' That's the story

that didn't get out there."

As it turns out, the band only took a

few months off before hunkering

down on the songs that became

Mechanical Bull. But that work was

out of the public eye. "It amazed me

how, taking even that small of a

break, people were already writing us

off," says drummer Nathan, the

band's eldest member at 35. "I was

getting condolence texts from friends:

'I'm sorry you broke up, man. Keep

your head up, it will all work out.' I

was laughing so hard, because none

of us ever thought it was over."

"You can always tell

when they're going to

unload stuff on you

when they order a nice

bottle of wine at dinner.

It's like, 'Oooo-K, here

we go.'"

The band members didn't help

matters with their own tweets after

the Dallas incident ("I know you guys

aren't stupid. I can't lie. There are

problems in our band Bigger than not

drinking enough Gatorade," Jared

wrote), and it's clear even now there

was tension. "We had a little spat,"

guitarist Matthew says, "but we were

talking a couple days later. We fight.

That's normal." "Brothers fight. You're

going to get that."

Beyond illuminating Caleb's now-resolved throat problem, the Dallas

meltdown, and the way it landed,

served one other purpose: It

"showed us how quickly people can

write you off," Nathan says. And that

"cleared our heads enough to make

us appreciate what we get to do."

Mechanical Bull is the work of a clear-

headed, focused band. Nathan calls it

an "unofficial greatest hits" for the

way it melds the best elements from a

decade of evolution. It's also an

assessment of sorts. "If we hadn't

taken that break, it would have been

a forced album, something that we

just Put out there," Caleb says.

"Because, like I say, we were

exhausted. We were spent."

It was a full decade of relentless

album/tour/album/tour cycles that

took Kings of Leon from youth to

young manhood, as the title of their

first record puts it. But, as adults,

couldn't they say no when the

workload became too heavy? "Things

are done so far in advance," Nathan

says. "I could feel fine right now, and

they've already got shows planned

into the end of next year. So you're

saying 'yes' to all this stuff, but then six

months down the road, when you are

playing Chicago for a second time,

you're like, 'How in the hell does this

happen? We're not machines. They

can't just keep putting this on us. We

didn't sign off on that.' And they will

be like, 'Actually, remember that

meeting we had two-and-a-half years

ago and we mentioned San Francisco?'"

"After the fifth bottle of wine," Caleb interjects. "You can always tell when they're

going to unload stuff on you when they order a nice bottle of wine at dinner. It's

like, 'Oooo-K, here we go.'"

The four Followills are now husbands and some are fathers, and the maturity that

comes with that will likely be a difference-maker this time Around. "In the early

days, it was a pissing contest between bands to see Who could go out and get the

craziest," Caleb says. "Now we're a little more fortunate, we travel a little more

comfortably. When we play a show, most of the time we get on an airplane and go

to whatever town we're hubbing out of, and we're up at 6:30 in the morning with

our kid. So you pick and choose when you're going to let your hair down."

Every month we choose an artist who we think deserve a

chance. This month, keep an eye out for Its Just Me….

Tim Moolman – It’s just me.

Questions:

You have been in the game for a while now, what is the most memorable thing that you have experienced whilst performing?

Being an amateur musician, it’s hard to get a GREAT gig. The most memorable experience

I’ve had was actually when I went to go watch a friend and fellow musician Quaid Lagan in

the beginning of 2013. I didn’t have a gig planned or anything but they called me on stage

( in not the most sober of times ) to play a few songs. The crowd response was incredible

and there was even an encore. Every performance where the crowd interacts with, for lack

of a better word, passion; is a memorable experience

If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

If I were a crayon I think I would definitely be like a lime shade of green mixed with the fresh green colour of cut grass

Is there a single big influence in your music or do you draw inspiration from a bunch of

different things?

I was never really a vocalist – I could even say I was almost tone deaf.

I get my inspiration from all kinds of music. Its not the style of the song, the key, or the energy in the song. I get my inspiration on how a song makes me feel. Myles Kennedy from Alter Bridge, Anthony Kiedis from Red Hot, Bob Marley, Bob Dylan. There are so many influences. The biggest influence is probably a mixture of Kurt Cobain and Mumford and Sons because of the emotion behind the vocals.

If there was one thing in the music industry in SA that you could change, what would it be?

As much as I love this industry, there are so many flaws. If I could change one specific thing, it would probably be the ease at which a performer/performers could get gigs. It can be incredibly hard to find connections for the right gig – MAKE IT EASIER FOR F*** SAKES!

If you could have dinner with 3 dead celebs, who would they be?

Easiest question so far . Bob Marley, Kurt Cobain and Freddie Mercury.

Dream holiday destination?

Amsterdam.

Name the biggest turning point in your life that made you turn into a musician? Was it a live show, an old dvd or a book etc.

There was never a turning point that made me a musician. Its been a dream of mine. There have been a few turning points that may have made me work harder and strive towards my goal with more passion; but those were some of the life experiences that I have had.

Where do you see yourself in 2 years from now?

2 years from now I see myself, hopefully, jamming at big local music festival and hopefully get some international festivals under my belt as well. Also I hope to be working with big, local/international/ music producers or musicians.

Name 2 festivals you want to play on your bucket list?

Glastonbury. Who wouldn’t want to play there! Locally the festival I would LOVE to perform at is probably Rocking The Daisies.

Just some more info on Tim Moolman and Its Just Me:

I lived in Nigeria for a while growing up and Iran as well. Travelled quite a lot in my adolescence. It gave me a different point of view on life and I think helped me be creatively diverse and willing to compromise to make great music

Basically though, my mom lived in Hermanus since maybe like 10/11 years so far so that’s been my ‘home turf’.

Tim Moolman is odd …. And cool.