Short Poetry Selections

Alligators Are Unfriendlyby Jack Prelutsky

Alligators are unfriendly,they are easily upset,

I suspect that I would nevercare to have one for a pet.

Oh, I know they do not bellow,and I think they do not shed,but I'd probably be nervous

if I had one in my bed.

Alligators are not clever,they are something of a bore,

they can't heel or catch a Frisbee,they don't greet you at the door,

for their courtesy is lacking,and their tempers are not sweet,

they won't even fetch your slippers...though they just might eat your feet.

Louder then a Clap of Thunder!by Jack Prelutsky

Louder that a clap of thunder,louder than an eagle screams,louder than a dragon blunders,

or a dozen football teams,louder than a four-alarmer,

or a rushing waterfall,louder than a knight in armorjumping from a ten-foot wall.

Louder than an earthquake rumbles,louder than a tidal wave,

louder than an ogre grumblesas he stumbles through his cave,louder than stampeding cattle,

louder than a cannon roars,louder than a giant's rattle,

that's how loud my father SNORES!

The Bloders Are Explodingbe Jack Prelutsky

The Bloders are exploding,they are bursting left and right,

like vials of nitroglycerine,or sticks of dynamite.

They are going up like rockets,they are popping here and there

the sky is filled with Blodersdetonating in the air.

There's a simple explanationfor this odd catastrophe,

you are bound to go to pieceswhen you dine on TNT.

What Nerve You've Got, Minerva Mott!by Jack Prelutsky

What nerve you've go, Minerva Mott!You're miserable! You're mean!

I'd like to tie you in a knotand paint your stomach green.

I wish two tigers and a bearwould chase you up a tree.

Minerva Mott! How could you dareto name your dog for me?

Ounce and Bounceby Jack Prelutsky

Bowen Ounce and Owen Bouncefell off a speeding train,

both were rather fortunate,and live to fall again.

Owen Bounce, who weighed an ounce,was cushioned by soft shrubbery,

Bowen Ounce just bounced and bounced,for he was round and rubbery.

Mean Maxineby Jack Pelutsky

There's no one mean as mean Maxine,she smells like old cigars,

her brain is smaller than a bean,I wish she'd move to Mars.

Some day I'll list the things I hate,and that is where I'll list her,

I'd like to pack her in a crate -too bad Maxine's my sister.

When Tillie Ate the Chili by Jack Prelutsky

When Tillie ate the chili,she erupted from her seat,she gulped a quart of water,

and fled screamig down the street,she coughed, she wheezed, she sputtered,

she set a new world recordas she raced around the block.

Tillie's mouth was full of fire,Tillie's eyes were red with tears,

she was smoking from her nostrils,she was steaming from her ears,

she cooled off an hour later,showing perfect self-controlas she said,"What tasty chili,I should like another bowl."

My Sister Is a Sissyby Jack Prelutsky

My sister is a sissy,she's afraid of dogs an cats,

a toad can give her tantrums,and she screams at things with stingers,things that buzz, and things that crawl,

just the shadow of a spidersends my sister up the wall.

A lizard makes her shiver,and a turtle makes her squirm,

she positively cringesat the prospect of a worm,

she's afraid of things with feathers,she's afraid of things with fur,

she's scared of almost everything -how come I'm scared of her?

As Soon as Fred Gets Out of Bed

by Jack Prelutsky

As soon as Fred gets out of bed,his underwear goes on his head.

His mother laughs, "Don't put it there,a head's no place for underwear!"

But near his ears, above his brains,is where Fred's underwear remains.

At night when Fred goes back to bed,he deftly plucks it off his head.

His mother switches off the lightand softly croons, "Good night! Good night!"

And then, for reasons no one knows,Fred's underwear goes on his toes.

Last Night I Dreamed of Chickens

by Jack Prelutsky

Last night I dreamed of chickens,there were chickens everywhere,

they were standing on my stomach,they were nesting in my hair,

they were pecking at my pillow,they were hopping on my head,

they were ruffling up their feathersas they raced about my bed.

They were on the chairs and tables,they were on the chandeliers,

they were roosting in the corners,they were clucking in my ears,

there were chickens, chickens, chickensfor as far as I could see...

when I woke today, I noticedthere were eggs on top of me.

Super Samson Simpson

by Jack Prelutksy

I am Super Samson Simpson,I'm superlatively strong,I like to carry elephants,

I do it all day long,I pick up half a dozen

and hoist them in the air,it's really somewhat simple,for I have strength to spare.

My muscles are enormous,they bulge from top to toe,and when I carry elephants,

they ripple to and fro,but I am not the strongest

in the Simpson family,for when I carry elephants,my grandma carries me.

Untitled

by Dr. Seuss

Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCaveHad twenty-three sons, and she named them all Dave?

Well, she did. And that wasn’t a smart thing to do.You see, when she wants one, and calls out “Yoo-Hoo!

Come into the house, Dave!” she doesn’t get one.All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run!This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves’

As you can imagine, with so many Daves.

And often she wishes that, when they were born,She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn.

And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm.And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim.Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face.

Another one Marvin O’Gravel Balloon Face.And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate…

But she didn’t do it. And now it’s too late.

Yertle the Turtle

by Dr. Seuss

“I’m Yertle the Turtle!Oh, marvelous me!For I am the ruler of

all that I see!”

“Your Majesty.Please… I don’t like

to complain.But down here

below, we are feelinggreat pain.”

“And the turtles, of course…All the turtles are freeAs turtles and, maybe,

all creaturesshould be.”

The Lorax

by Dr. Seuss

“I am the Lorax.I speak for the trees.I speak for the trees,

for the trees have no tongues.”

“I meant no harm.I most truly did not.

But I had to grow bigger.So bigger I got.”

“UNLESSsomeone like you

cares a whole awful lot,nothing is going to get better.

It’s not.”

Dinosaur Boneby Alice Schertle

Dinosaur bone alone, alone,keeping a secret old as stone

deep in the mud aslep in the mudtell me, tell me, dinosaur bone.

What was the world when the seas were newand ferns unfurled and strange winds blew?

Were the mountains fire?Were the rivers ice?

Was it mud and mire?Was it paradise?

How did it smell, your earth, your sky?How did you live?How did you die?

How long have you lain alone, alone?Tell me, tell me, dinosaur bone.

I Often Contradict Myselfby Kenn Nesbitt

I often contradict myself.Oh no, I never do.

I argue with me day and night.That simply isn't true.

Oh yes it is. Oh no it's not.I do this all day long.

Oh no I don't. Oh yes I do.That's right. No way! It's wrong.

I'm really quite agreeable.I argue night and day.

I love to be around myself.I wish I'd go away.

So if you see me arguingit's certain that you won't.I like to contradict myself.

I promise you I don't.

Today I Had A Problemby Kenn Nesbitt

Today I had a problemwhen I tried to make my bed.My blankets and my comfortergot wrapped around my head.

I went to fluff the pillowsbut the pillow cover tore,and feathers flew all over

as I stumbled 'round the floor.

I accidentally grabbed the sheetsand pulled them as I fell.I have to say, it seems

my day's not starting off too well.

I tripped upon a pillowcaseand landed in a heap.

Good grief! That's it! I'm staying hereand going back to sleep!

I'm Shopping for a Dinosaurby Jack Prelutsky

I'm shopping for a dinosaur.I'd like one small enoughto fit into my backpack

that's already filled with stuff.I don't want one with pointy teeth,

or claws of any kind.The dinosaur I'm looking for

is difficult to find.

I'm shopping for a dinosaur,and hunting pets all around.

So far I'm unsuccessful,it is nowhere to be found.

I hear they disappeared beforethe year that I was born.

I'm giving up on dinosaur - I'll buy a unicorn.

Sewer Alligatorsby Marilyn Singer

If "toilet" and "flush"often cause you to blush,

If cold-blooded petsmake you break out in sweats,

or reduce you to tears, much light,Better cover your ears.I'm not talking hippos,I'm not talking rhinos,

I'm speaking of gators - a bunch of albinos!Down in the sewers

there isn't much light,So all of these critters

were bound to turn white.Such a sad fate,

for they once were deep green.Come see for yourself

why it's wring to be meanAnd exile a reptile

down someone's latrine.

My Sister Whispered Magic Wordsby Jack Prelutsky

My sister whispered magic wordsdirectly in my ear,

The second that she said themI began to disappear.

She said her words a second time,I couldn't even think,

for suddenly I wasn't there,I'd vanished in a blink.

I haven't got the least ideawhere I am standing now,

I'd like to get back home again,but simply don't know how.

I hope this doesn't last too longfor though it doesn't hurt,

my mother's making chocolate cake...I hate to miss dessert.

The Ditchby Lisa Wheeler and Sophie Blackall

Jack and Jill went up the hillto ditch a boring class.

In their haste the twosome spacedand left without a pass

When Jack fell down and broke his crown,Jill went to get the nurse.

Old Dame Dodd patched up his nodbut that's when things got worse.

Dame Dodd was sly-the Spins spy-therefore, could not be trusted.

She grabbed the twins and turned them in.Now Jack and Jill are busted.

The Dirty Kidby Lisa Wheeler and Sophie Blackall

Dirty Polly Flinders

lives among the cinders,and never, ever thinks to wash or bathe.

Her hygiene is atrocious.Her odor is ferocious.

Her smell resembles something from the grave.

Her breath is quite appalling.Her filthy hair is crawling!

Have you seen the stuff between her toes?

Her teeth look green and gunky.Her fingernails are funky.

Has she ever changed or washed her clothes?

In Spinster's finest hour,she throws her in the shower,

orders her to use the soap and sponge.

But Polly sets to striking.The dirt is to her liking.

Can't Spinster see this punk is into grunge?

The Cheaterby Lisa Sheeler and Sophie Blackall

Peter, Peter was a cheater.Stolen grades could not be sweeter.

made good marks for weeks and weeks- forging essays, sneaking peeks.

Peter laughed through many days-stealing quizzes,

making A's.

Spinster caught him in the act.In Crooked Row

Poor Peter cracked.

Peter is no longer merry.He takes tests in solitary.

Picklepuss Pearlby Jack Prelutsky

I'm Picklepuss Pearl, and I'm not very nice,I'm not made of sugar, I'm not made of spice,

my attitude's awful, my temper is vile,I have n idea what it feels like to smile.

I'm Picklepuss Pearl, and I'm nasty and sour,my wretched expression can wither a flower,

it takes but a blink of my miserable eyefor laughing hyenas to break down and cry.

If I fix your face with my permanent frown,your stomach is liable to turn upside-down,

my stare is so cold it turns water to ice,I'm Picklepuss Pearl, and I'm not very nice.

Like Rollerbladesby Andrew Fusek Peters

Like rollerblades, we make a pairWatch us practice; with such flairPavements fly beneath our feet

In this kingdom of concreteThe original polyurethane palsSurfing down suburban hillsGossip, giggle, God it's great

To hang out with my best mate.

But my best mate's become a spy,Sold my secrets. I blink my eye

And he has gone to the other side.The Gang ride by; I try to hide,Cover my feelings with concrete

As pavements fly beneath my feetI climb the hills of hurt and hateTo get away fro my best mate.

Absolutely Nothingby Florence Parry Heide

Dinosaurs...They're very, very dead, you know.

They died a zillion years ago...But whether they're alive or dead,

there's one that hides beneath my bed.His teeth are huge. He has big scales.

His toenails are as sharp a nails.I hear him breathe. I hear him snore.I hear him gnash his teeth and roar.

May mother says, "Look here, my dear,there's absolutely nothing here!"He's getting very hungry now...

He'll have to get a meal somehow.My father says, "There's nothing there.

There's absolutely nothing there!"

But in the morning they will seeabsolutely nothing...left of me!

Sometimes

by Crystal Bowman

Sometimes I'm an astronaut exploring outer space.

Sometimes I'm a circus clown and wear a silly face.

Sometimes I'm a dancer; I dance around the floor.

Sometimes when I stomp and romp, I pretend I'm a dinosaur.

Sometimes I drive a freight train, 'cause I'm and engineer.

Sometimes I'm a magician and make things disappear.

Sometimes I just buzz around like a big ol' bumblebee.

And when I'm done pretending I go back to being me.

My Neighbor Ned

by Crystal Bowman

My neighbor Ned has hairy toes; it seems the hair just grows and grows.

He combs it and curls it and styles with mousse.

I told him to cut it, but it was no use.

He dyes it yellow, red, and blue.

He spikes it an rats it and frizzes it too.

He twists it in braids and ties it with bows.

He washes his hair with the garden hose.

He dries it with dryers and sprays it with spray.

He cares for his hair many hours each day.

He's rather strange, my neighbor Ned,

With hair on his toe instead of his head.

Friendsby Chystal Bowman

A friend is someone who listens,A friend is someone who cares.

A friend is someone who understands,A friend is someone who shares.

It's nice to have a special fiendTo tell all your secrets to.

It's nice to know that someone you likeIs someone who really likes you.

A friend is someone you call on the phoneTo talk about nothing at all.

A friend is someone who cheers you upAnd makes you feel ten feet tall.

Everyone would like to have a special friend, it's true.But if you want a special friend, you need to be one, too.

Algebraby Crystal Bowman

I've always liked arithmetic,I think that it is great.

Two plus two adds up to four,And four plus four is eight.

But now I'm learning algebraand I am so perplexed!

Somehow three plus twenty-nineIs Y of Z or X!

I don't like adding letters;Letters are for words.

I'd rather work with numbers.This math is for the birds!

The Bubbleby Crystal Bowman

I blew a great big bubble While chewing gum today.

It stretched out wide before it popped, I'm really pleased to say.

A little gum got on my cheeks And in my nose and hair.

My eyebrows felt a little weird, but I didn't really care.

My ears were just a little plugged; Some gum was on my chin.

The collar of my shirt Was sticking to my skin

The bubble was enormous; The noise was very loud.My mother wasn't happy,

but I was very proud!

Cloud Creaturesby The Buczinsky Brothers

Look at the cloud creatures go.They go so slow.

They go with the flow.

Look at them fly, way up high,Over the trees, across the sky,

Just movin' on by.

They have no place to go, no place to hide.Some look low, some look high.

All day long, they float along,With nothing to do but float on the blue.

I wish I were a cloud creature.Don't you?

Gentle Giantby The Buczinsky Brothers

Everyone says giants are mean, But that's not true of the giant we've seen.

The giant we've seen is as big as a mountain. Niagara Falls is his water fountain!

The Atlantic Ocean barely covers his knees.And his sneeze makes a hurricane look like a breeze.

Whenever he snores, rain clouds pour, Rivers rage and valleys roar.

The first time we saw him we wanted to scream.We thought, “He could snap us in half like a bean!”But things are not always the same as they seem.

Sure this giant could topple tall towers, But he'd rather dance in summer sun showers.

Sing silly songs and hum them for hours. Twinkle his toes in flowery bowers.

He's the funniest giant you ever saw, With a horn for a hat that's strapped to his jaw.

In the middle of June he stares at the moon 'Til his eyes pop out like a crazy goon.

He's sweet as a lamb, cute as a kitten,Soft as a pillow, warm as a mitten.

We climb up his back, wave from afar,Jump from his shoulders straight to a star.

But there is one thing that scares us all:It's whenever he gives his dragon a call.

He keeps a dragon named Ganga at home -Ah, but that's a tale for another poem.

Too Busyby Bruce Lansky

I've folded all my laundryand put it in the drawer.

I've changed my linen, made my bed,and swept my bedroom floor.

I've emptied out the garbageand fixed tomorrow's lunch.

I've baked some cookies for dessertand given dad a munch.

I've searched the house for pencilsand sharpened every one.

There are so many things to dowhen homework must be done.

Tomorrow's My Unbirthdayby Jack Prelutsky

Tomorrow's my unbirthday, and I can hardly wait,for every day I have one is a day to celebrate.

I love unbirthday parties, my friends enjoy them too,we love to play unbirthday games...I always win a few.

I love unbirthday presents, they fill me with delight,I love my grand unbirthday cakes and savor every bite.

Tomorrow's my unbirthday, I'm overjoyed, hooray!I also had one yesterday, I'm having one today.

Be Glad Your Nose Is On Your Faceby Jack Prelutsky

Be glad your nose is on your face, not pasted on some other place,for if it were where it is not, you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose were sandwiched in between your toes,that clearly would not be a treat, for you'd be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread were it attached atop your head,it soon would drive you to despair, forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be an absolute catastrophe,for when you were obliged to sneeze, your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin, remains between your eyes and chin,not pasted on some other place – be glad your nose is on your face!

My Parents Are Pretendingby Ted Scheu

I'm pretty sure my parents arepretending they are sick.

I know because I taught them bothto do that little trick.

You blow your nose and hold your headand claim your brain is breaking.An so, a pro like me would know

my folks are clearly faking.

A little thing I learned in schoolconvinced me I am right.

My parents are supposed to meetmy principal tonight.