self-confidenceself-confidence date: social skill objective: the students will learn the importance...

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Self-Confidence

DATE:

SOCIAL SKILL OBJECTIVE: The students will learn the importance of having self-

confidence. It is important to believe in one’s self and in one’s potential. Feeling good about yourself will help you have better relationships with peers. Instructors will use one or more of the following activities.

MATERIALS: small buckets/bags, cardstock stars, sticky-back foam pieces, beans, pencils,

scissors BOOKS: Just Kidding by Trudy Ludwig; Leo, the Lightning Bug by Eric Drachman; Stinkin’

Thinkin’ Stinks by Bill King; Unstoppable Me!: 10 Ways to Soar Through Life by Dr. Wayne Dyer and Katrina Tracy; The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper; Giraffes Can’t Dance by

Giles Andreae; You’re Here for a Reason by Nancy Tillman; I Don’t Want to Be a Frog by Dev Petty; I’m Gonna Like Me by Jamie Lee Curtis; I Like Myself by Karen Beaumont; Howard B. Wigglebottom Listens to his Heart by Howard Binkow

ASCA NATIONAL STANDARDS: A:A1.1, A:A1.3, C:A1.3, C:A1.8, C:A1.9, C:A2.7,

C:C2.1, PS:A1.1, PS:A1.10, PS:A2.6

SOCIAL TIMES: “Positive Self-Talk” (The Main Event) Volume 2, Number 5, p. 2 by Kari

Dunn Buron

SOCIAL SKILLS EXPECTATIONS: When discussing specific behaviors that impact relationships, ask: Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How in relation to behaviors.

ACTIVITY 1: What is confidence? How do we gain it or lose it? Students will share and discuss things they have done in recent or past memory that were difficult, but they survived

without too much trauma.

http://www.aspergerssociety.org/aspergers-syndrome-5-tips-to-build-self-confidence -110/

Examples:

You get nervous going into public buildings.

You have trouble approaching new people.

You mentally beat yourself up every time you make a mistake.

Think of something you find difficult but can do. Then, think of something that is just a

little bit harder than that, that you think you might be able to do but aren’t sure.

If you feel like you are being controlled by external forces you have a feeling of

helplessness and high anxiety. You become more resistant to trying new things because

you don’t believe you have the right tools to deal with it should anything go wrong.

http://www.aspergerssociety.org/aspergers-syndrome-5-tips-to-build-self-confidence%20-110/


Solutions:

Have a friend go with you to give support.

Prepare yourself beforehand.

Prepare how you will relax afterwards.

Have a strong motivation for doing the task, such as buying something.

When you can find the strength to try new things one time, two times, three times and

more, successfully, and you develop ways to cope with things that may go wrong, you

will find yourself facing life with a lot more confidence and a lot less crippling anxiety. Motivation http://www.myaspergersstudent.com/2009/11/motivating-aspergers-students-

advice.html ACTIVITY 2: Students are usually motivated to learn something in order to complete a

particular task or activity, the need to seek new experiences, the need to perfect skills, the need to overcome challenges, the need to become competent, the need to succeed and do well, the need

to feel involved and to interact with other people. Satisfying such needs is rewarding in itself.

Students will discuss what motivates them by sharing a situation where they were highly

motivated and sharing one in which their motivation was low. Students will share specific aspects of each situation that influenced his or her level of motivation. What characteristics

contribute to high and low motivation? Students learn by doing, making, writing, designing, creating, solving. Being passive dampens

students’ motivation and curiosity. Instructors will share the following characteristics that are considered major contributors to student motivation in school and the students will discuss.

Active involvement of students

Appropriate difficulty level of the material

Teacher’s enthusiasm

Organization of the course

Rapport between teacher and students

Relevance of the material

Use of appropriate, concrete, and understandable examples

Variety

ACTIVITY 3: Instructors will give each student a character slip that has one of the following on it. Students will share what is on their character slip. After sharing all character slips the

Instructors will ask what all of these descriptions are describing about a person. The class will continue to discuss the: who, what, why, how, where and when in relation to these characteristics. Why is it important to work on these characteristics?

Comfortable almost anywhere

Stands up for own beliefs

Has a positive attitude

Willing to learn new skills

http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2009/11/motivating-aspergers-students-advice.html

http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2009/11/motivating-aspergers-students-advice.html


Not afraid to make mistakes

Fun to be with

Doesn’t brag or try to impress others

Makes friends easily

Treats people with respect

Is helpful

ACTIVITY 4: What is special about you? Students will discuss what is special about them.

Instructors will write their name at the top of the scroll. Instructors will brainstorm a list of positive words which we use to describe people (e.g. kind, friendly, clever, good at sport, funny). They will pass the scroll around and every student will write a compliment for the person whose

name is at the top of the paper. The instructors will make the final comments. Students will share if they were surprised by anything.

https://www.montclair.edu/media/montclairedu/csam/njsoc/sessions/confcourse.pdf

ACTIVITY 5: Students will learn the skills needed to gain confidence.

Why people aren’t confident - A person gets confidence by successfully doing something or completing a task and acknowledging that achievement. The internal acknowledgment is recorded in the mind as, “I can do this again.”

Don’t acknowledge success - One reason people aren’t confident after successfully completing a task or achieving a difficult goal is because they often don’t acknowledge their achievement and

may even demean what they have done. They put their achievement down by saying something like, “Oh, I was just lucky” or “It wasn’t all that good.”

Too large a task - Another reason some people aren’t confident is because they look at a task or a goal as a large entity. Success or failure is determined by the outcome, which may come after

days or months of toiling.

Too difficult a task - Some people purposely take on tasks that are way over their head, such that they are assured of failure. They do this to re-enforce their perceived lack of self-confidence.

How to gain confidence - The way to gain confidence is to:

Break tasks into smaller units. Before you set out to perform a task or try to achieve a

goal, you must realize that the activity is really a series of smaller steps. This is a basic concept in any type of project planning. Thus, instead of waiting until the end to

determine if you are successful, you have a series of successes, leading up to the finish.

Acknowledge your success for each step. For each one of these steps or mini-tasks, you

must acknowledge your success. Congratulate yourself each time you succeed. If you don’t do well, correct your error. Take care about admonishing yourself, except in

extreme cases.

https://www.montclair.edu/media/montclairedu/csam/njsoc/sessions/confcourse.pdf


Learn from your mistakes to re-enforce your confidence. This self-talk will re-enforce

your acknowledgment of your abilities and increase your confidence as you go along on achieving the greater goal.

Examples of gaining confidence – To better illustrate how to apply the 3 steps in gaining

confidence, consider the examples of playing a game of tennis, managing a program at work, and experiments with a mouse.

Playing tennis - For example, your goal may be to win a tennis match. Each time you hit

the ball, you are performing a mini-task or small step necessary to complete your final goal of winning the game. Each time you hit the ball solidly, say to yourself, “Good shot.” Each time you miss, note what to correct. Perhaps say, “Follow through next

time.” Throughout the game, your confidence will build, such that even if you lose the match to a better player, you will feel sure of your overall ability to play well.

Managing a program - In another example, a project manager can celebrate small milestones in a major program with his workers in order to build their confidence to

effectively achieve this greater goal.

Summary - You can build your confidence by acknowledging your successes for each step

along the way to trying to achieve a goal. The self-congratulations will build and re-enforce your confidence along the way to feeling like a champion.

ACTIVITY 6: The 5 Bean Activity. Instructors will give each student 5 dried beans then ask them to examine the beans and choose the “Best” bean. Instructors will not give them any other

information.

After 5 minutes, have some or all of the students explain how they chose their “Best”

bean.

Relate the beans to people by asking the following questions:

Are all of your beans the same on the inside?

Are all people the same on the inside?

When we eat the beans, do all of the beans taste the same?

Imagine you are hanging off a cliff and are desperately clinging to a few blades of grass

that are pulling loose from the ground. Suddenly, a hand appears from above to rescue you. Would you wait to see what that person looked like before you reached for help?

Is one bean better than another?

Is one person better than another?

ACTIVITY 7: The way we feel about ourselves has a huge effect on the way we treat ourselves

and others, and on the kinds of choices we make. Instructors will share the following things that students can do to protect, raise, or reinforce your self-esteem. http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/SelfEsteem.html

Spend time with people who like you and care about you.

Ignore (and stay away from) people who put you down or treat you badly.

http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/SelfEsteem.html


Do things that you enjoy or that make you feel good.

Do things you are good at.

Reward yourself for your successes.

Develop your talents.

Be your own best friend - treat yourself well and do things that are good for you.

Make good choices for yourself, and don’t let others make your choices for you.

Take responsibility for yourself, your choices, and your actions.

Always do what you believe is right.

Be true to yourself and your values.

Respect other people and treat them right.

Set goals and work to achieve them

ACTIVITY 8: Instructors will discuss the following with students.

When you make really good choices for yourself, how does that make you feel? (ask for

examples)

Does that raise your self-esteem?

Do you think that making good choices for yourself could be one way to help raise your self-esteem?

When you make really bad choices for yourself, how does that make you feel? (ask for

examples)

Does that lower your self-esteem?

Have you ever made yourself feel bad by comparing yourself with others?

Is it good to compare yourself with others? Why not?

What can happen when you compare yourself with others?

Can we sometimes be too critical of ourselves?

What happens when we do that? (ask for examples)

Can self-criticism sometimes be good for us? How? (ask for examples)

How do we know when we’ve crossed the line and are being too hard on ourselves?

Some people say that if people put you down enough you can start to believe it. Has that ever happened to you?

How does it affect your self-esteem when people say insulting or unkind things to you? (ask for examples) What can you do about it when that happens?

Is our self-esteem permanent, or does it change?

Is it ever too late to change the way we feel about ourselves?

ACTIVITY 9: Instructors will give each student a copy of “Which Step Have I Reached

Today?” and students will discuss. ACTIVITY 10: Students will complete the “What Can I Say to Myself?” activity.

ACTIVITY 11: Instructors will share a picture of a three-legged stool and explain that self-

confidence is like a three-legged stool. Instructors will ask students what happens if a leg of the


stool is damaged or missing. (The stool is wobbly or falls.) They will explain the three “legs”

people need to feel self-confident:

Developing skills - becoming able to do something well. Ask students to name some

skills many people their age have or are developing. (Examples: playing baseball or softball, playing the piano, taking care of pets, fixing a bike)

Respecting yourself and others - being sure of yourself and your ideas and honoring

others. Ask students to suggest ways that people show they respect themselves and others. (Examples: listening to and supporting others, stating their own opinions without

insulting others, accepting differences, not giving in to peer pressure, expressing appreciation, not putting people down, exercising and eating healthful foods, not using drugs or asking others to use them)

Acting responsibly - acting in ways that will have positive consequences for yourself and others. Ask students for ways they show they are responsible. (Examples: doing chores at

home, finishing homework and school projects, studying for tests, admitting mistakes, taking care of borrowed items, standing up for beliefs, being dependable)

ACTIVITY 12: Students discuss the difference between self-confidence and bragging. Instructors will ask if being self-confident is the same as bragging. Instructors will cover the

following: • When people brag, they boast and draw attention to themselves to show off or put others

down. People who brag generally are trying to hide their lack of self-confidence. • Self-confident people know they have certain skills, but they don’t dwell on them. They

gladly give credit to others and share team and group accomplishments.

ACTIVITY 13: Self-confidence is directly connected to how much we feel we are making a

difference. Students will start a list of ways to show “acts of kindness.” At home they can document when they have shown their acts of kindness.

ACTIVITY 14: Students will decorate buckets/bags and fill them with stars. The stars represent support they have received from others.

ACTIVITY 15: Instructors will sing “The Story of Sammy” with the students while walking in a circle. “This is a story about Sammy – his father sent him out to buy bread. Sammy didn’t feel

like walking, he wished he could fly instead, and he said: If I was a bird I would fly to the store, fly to the store, fly to the store. If I was a bug, I would crawl to the store. If I was a fish I would

swim to the store. If I was a bunny I would hop to the store.” ACTIVITY 16: http://getbuttonedup.com/tools2/free_printable_7_things_i_love_about_u.pdf

Use the cut-out activity – one for each child. Instructors will go around the table and have the students share something they like about that person (including themselves). The instructors

write each answer until there are seven things listed. ACTIVITY 17: http://entirelyelementary.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-can.html Students will

make these “I Cans”. Each child will decorate an empty frosting (or substitute) can. Instructors will cut holes in the lid with scissors. Students will decorate their can and write “I CAN” on the

http://getbuttonedup.com/tools2/free_printable_7_things_i_love_about_u.pdf

http://entirelyelementary.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-can.html


outside. Students will tell instructors several things that they can do that they are proud of.

Instructors will tell them when they are having a tough day, they can take the lid off and have someone read to them the things they can do.

GAME: Self-Confidence, Making Choices


ACTIVITY 3:

Self-Confidence Characteristics

Comfortable almost anywhere

Stands up for own beliefs

Has a positive attitude

Willing to learn new skills

Not afraid to make mistakes

Fun to be with

Doesn’t brag or try to impress others

Makes friends easily

Treats people with respect

Is helpful

ACTIVITY 4:

Character Traits

Considerate Adventurous Cooperative

Sincere Smart Humorous

Optimistic Dependable Imaginative

Brave Brilliant Honest

Patient Respectful Fun

Kind Polite Friendly

Calm Talented Caring

Energetic Thoughtful Fair

Shares Trustworthy Generous


ACTIVITY 9:

Which Step Have I Reached Today?

Found on Pinterest fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/424431_376209252404996_195368507155739_1504801_2072848096_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/424431_376209252404996_195368507155739_1504801_2072848096_n.jpg


ACTIVITY 10: What Can I Say to Myself?

Instead of Try Thinking

I’m not good at this.

I’m awful at this.

I give up.

This is too hard.

I can’t make this any better.

I made a mistake.

She’s so smart. I will never be that smart.

It’s good enough.


ACTIVITY 10: What Can I Say to Myself?

Answers

I’ll use some of the strategies I learned.

I can always improve so I’ll keep trying.

What am I missing?

This may take some time and effort.

I’m on the right track.

Is it really my best work?

Mistakes help me learn better.

I’m going to figure it out and try it.


ACTIVITY 11:

http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRxqFQoTCImowcvG3sgCFVE6iAodz5oI-g&url=http://www.clipartbest.com/3-legged-stool&psig=AFQjCNF3xbR1K7QuhlrrUGRzz8VUZaT5Sg&ust=1445894418899586


ACTIVITY 13:

Acts of Kindness

Date Act of Kindness


ACTIVITY 14:

self-confidenceself-confidence date: social skill objective: the students will learn the importance...

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