self analysis profile edco 202
DESCRIPTION
this is my paper in EDCO 202. those who wish to know more about my personality and personal philosophy, please read it.take care and GOD BLESS!TRANSCRIPT
Baby Marco together with Ate Cherrie
I was strongly attached to my Mom
SELF-ANALYSIS PROFILEMarco D. Meduranda
EDCO 202
CHILDHOOD
I was born on October 24, 1985. I am the eldest
son of my parents and the third in ordinal position in a
family with six children.
Adler’s birth order theory would put me as the
middle child. Though I’m not very assertive, I tend to
become quite competitive, constantly trying to surpass
my other siblings in terms of achievement in studies and even in attention to my
parents. My excelling in school perhaps can be my way of asserting myself.
My childhood was marked with my strong attachment to my mother. To cite
Sullivan’s theory, I was nurtured by a “good nipple”. Her caring and warm affection
shaped my personality, and in fact, I looked up to her as my role model in terms of
character. Though mom is very affectionate, she knew how to demand discipline. She’s
strict but humane. She would spank us whenever we were committing misbehavior but
would later cuddle us only to talk about to us why she used force in making us realize
our wrong doing. Further, her consistent and sensitive care
and protection to me during my early years have had
developed in me a sense of confidence and optimism. I can
link this with Erickson’s first psychosocial stage (trust vs.
mistrust) where, in my case, basic trust was clearly
established. Her love and support truly laid a solid foundation to my personality and the
good values she instilled in me shaped my character.
I admired dad’s sense of responsibility.
My mom’s admonitions, teachings and moral ideas mostly
constitute my superego. Though sometimes, they greatly cause
me anxiety, giving me guilt and self-condemnation whenever I
make decisions that run counter to it, I am still thankful because
nevertheless I would never go wrong if my decisions are in
consonance with what she taught me.
In addition, my mom would say that I was a witty, smart and “hyper” kid when I
was a toddler. She would say that when I was four I could already memorized the
schedule of shows in channel two (we’re Kapamilya…) When I turned six, I got asthma
and other respiratory illness. I became much closer to her because she would really
keep an eye on me due to my fragile health. Perhaps, I developed this fixation termed
by Freud as phallic personality. As a consequence, I develop quite an opinion on
myself and perhaps also the reason why I appear effeminate.
When it comes to my father, I can say that he had also
influenced my personality. Indeed, he was a good provider. I truly
admired his sense of responsibility and dedication to his work.
However, like other typical Filipino father, he was quite
unemotional and insensible. Somehow, during my early childhood,
I experienced what Freud termed as Oedipus complex.
According to Freud, fixation at this stage would lead to feelings of
guilt over success. I also read that in order to resolve this conflict, the child would
employ the process called identification with the aggressor. As I analyze myself, I
find out that the reason perhaps why I always seek success in all my endeavors
especially in work is that somehow I am identifying with my father.
Regarding the influence of the place
where I was brought up to my personality, I
want to point out that I was raised in a
suburban environment, Malabon, where
incidence of flooding is a usual occurrence
even if it’s not raining due to high tide and to
the fact that the land is very much below sea level. I can say that the place somehow
also shape my “mental toughness”. I can associate this idea to Bandura’s reciprocal
determinism where personal and environmental factors continuously affect one
another. I have seen how people still managed to continue with their lives even if the
flood is as high as their waist. Flood can be an
inconvenience but people in our community don’t see it
as major encumbrance. Through observational
learning, I was able to acquire a coping mindset towards
any problem; that like flood, problems are just natural
occurrence and they would eventually subside, or be
resolved. Further, I can connect this with Lewin’s
personality formula which postulates that one’s behavior
is the function of the person in interaction with the
environment.
ADOLESCENCE
The stage of adolescence to me was marked by a lot of crisis. My father died
when I was 13 because of diabetes. Consequently, I experienced the most difficult
My high school days were marked by a lot of crisis…
times in my life during this period because we were confronted by poverty. I saw my
mom working very hard to make both ends meet for us. She got preoccupied with direct
selling in order to bring food on the table. For the first time, I saw my grades drop
because of absenteeism and my inability to pass projects and requirements. That was
the time, I was labeled an underachiever.
The interplay of these difficult situations affected my personality. It was the time I
began to feel small. Though I was confident and self-assured when I was a child, I
started to feel “disliked”. I had a rough time establishing my ego identity. For quite
sometime I thought, I experienced what Erikson termed as a sense of artificiality. I
tried to fit in but I felt my peers were not true to me. In addition, my being a late bloomer
became the butt of jokes among my peers. I experienced what Adler called as organ
inferiority.
I began to feel the neurotic needs for personal admiration, individual
achievement and social recognition. I thought that in order to deal with these anxieties I
did what Horney dubbed as moving towards people where I protected myself by
overtures of affection, dependency and submission to others.
This was also the stage when I began seeking broader
as what Fromm stated in his five human needs. Though at this time I tried to
College activities like this community outreach in Zambales broadened my horizon and helped me realize what
Rogers termed as my ideal-self.
desperately conform to some of my peers in order to acquire that sense of
belongingness, it was the start of my journey to individuation. Towards the end of my
high school life, I realized my absurdity.
I gained a greater understanding of life when I started accompanying my mother
to sell bargain clothes on the sidewalks of Grace Park Caloocan. This was the business
scheme that sent us, her children, to college. Mom made us experience the difficult
reality of life and helped us realize that we got to be determined and hard working in
order to achieve what we envision in our lives. I became more matured as I deal with
different kinds of people. The side streets became a window to reality for me. Having
been a sidewalk vendor for four years truly defined and modified my construct system.
I acquired a better measure of authenticity when I entered college. I took the
course that I really liked which was BS Education. Here I became a student leader and
a scholar. Whenever I had no class, I exploited the
opportunity to read books and explore the wealth of
wisdom available in the library. By reading, I became
cognizant on the collective unconscious of the ages
and by deeper reflection I learned how to improve my
way of thinking and construing the world around me. I
got especially interested to the works of Deepak Chopra,
Shakti Gawain, Martin Seligman, Norman Vincent Peale
and Wayne Dyer. In college, I was also able to gain a
handful of very good friends who somehow satisfied my
needs for self-respect and esteem. Furthermore, in this stage I gained a better grasp
on seeking self-enhancement through the choosing of goal in life which is termed by
Teaching is my calling and I’m happy I heed the call.
Allport as propriate striving. With this, I graduated with flying colors and realized my
self-fulfilling prophecy which is delivering a valedictory address that would honor my
mom.
ADULTHOOD
I initially worked as a call
center agent because of my desire
to be handsomely paid. However, I
didn’t find the job fulfilling and I felt
that the classrooms were calling
me. And so when my former
professor phoned me to teach in
the public school where she was
the principal, I immediately grabbed the position even if the salary is lower compared to
what I used to get as an agent. After one year, I was able to get a permanent teaching
position. Consequently, I gained what
Allport identified as functional
autonomy, where in my case; teaching
became my valued end. In its own right,
being a teacher became my personal
source of pleasure and motivation. I was
able to influence and touch lives and at
the same time established myself as an excellent humanistic high school teacher. In
fact, I experience what Maslow called as peak performance or optimal human
experiencing whenever the students I handle attain success like winning in competitions
Winning competitions are highlights in my teaching career.
or attaining excellent or improved academic performance. Though teaching in public
school is not easy, with 80 students per a class, I learned how to employ the
transactional analysis of Eric Berne in order to foster better interpersonal relationship
with my students as well as my colleagues. Still, despite the fact that public school
teachers were seemed to be overworked and underpaid, I chose to stay in the system,
make a difference to the life of my students, establish a positive teacher persona, and
perhaps, eventually, “mine my own acres of diamond.”
Just last May 5, 2009, I experienced the
greatest pain a person can endure: the death of a
loved one. Mom died because of colon cancer. It
was a six-month ordeal that dramatically changed
my perspective in life.
My mom was the only person who gave me
unconditional positive regard. She was taken away from us in the point when she
would begin to reap the fruits of her labors. Though somehow I have accepted her
passing, I will perpetually miss her.
Her death touched me spiritually. It brought me a lot of lessons and realizations. I
became more in tune with my experience. I learned to develop in me a more meaningful
relation to my Creator, to my Lord and Savior. Hence, I learned to pray. I also learned to
think, speak and act in the direction of truth and love. I learned that suffering is essential
for one to understand and appreciate the real essence of life. I learned to value people.
I learned to be kind to myself whenever I commit blunders. And ultimately, I learned to
live.
I will perpetually miss mom.
FINAL REFLECTIONS
I view my life as a wonderful journey. The experience
along the way is more important than the destination. Truly, I
regard myself as an imperfect, growing, self-actualizing,
spiritual organism. My relationship to my loved ones, my
dedication to work, my deep passion to learn more about life,
and my tireless effort to be the best that I can be are facets of
my personality.
Like others, I have flaws, neurotic needs, fixations, regrets, repressed desires,
and frustrations. However, I choose to emphasize and cultivate the “good me”; the
same thing when I highlight the positive among my students, friends, colleagues and
loved ones. I choose to be a blessing to others. I choose to be a simple person with big
dreams. I choose to live every moment of my life. I choose to enjoy my every waking
hour. I choose to adopt the idea that when my journey ends, the One waiting at the
finished line will say, JOB WELL DONE.
I choose to emphasize and cultivate the “good me”.