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Erowid Experience Vaults Report Id: 45012

Reality is a Five Spoked Wheel

by Vulpine

Dose: T+ 0:00 1 hit smoked Salvia divinorum extract - 10x

Body weight: 135.00 lbs

A friend gave me some 10x salvia divinorum that was a mixture of homegrown leaf strengthenedwith a purchased extract. I believe my previous experiences were also with a 10x extract, althoughit could have been merely a 5x. I had kept it tucked away for future use. Tonight, my friend sentme a trip report of a salvia user in his household that sparked the notion that it was the righttime.

Another issue involved was that I have recently been feeling some resurgence of my fear of mortalityand death (perhaps because my usual ritual to come to acceptance of this, Burning Flipside, aregional Burning Man event, was less than transcendent for me this year) and thought perhapsthe loss of ego I had found in previous salvia experiences might help.

Finally, one of the oddest notions that had come to me in the immediate aftermath of trippingrecently on DMT (but still obviously experiencing the psychological effects) was that salvia andDMT were seeded on earth and/or allowed communication with opposing extraterrestrial (extra-planar?) forces. I didnt expect the trip to lend any further polish to this weird idea (and it didnt)but it definitely was on my mind.

I did my best to prepare the environment: I turned off my computer and the A/C because Iremembered that distracting noises had been annoying during previous experiences. Expecting totake several hits, I prepared a sizable bowl in my bong. I shut off all the lights, but was once againstruck by the fact that my apartment just isnt all that dark with all the lights out there is toomuch ambient light. I fished out a blindfold I keep for kinky purposes and placed it on my headbut without covering my eyes, with the intention of pulling it over my face as the trip came on, toshut out all light.

My cat comes over as I am about to take a hit and I hope she doesnt bug me during the trip, butin actuality I have no awareness whatsoever of her until some semblance of normal consciousnessreturns.

I lift up the bong and the lighter. I take a strong, deep hit and hold it, expecting it to be the firstof two or three. As I hold my breath and count to 60 in my head, I watch the blinking lights on

my cable modem (which I had not shut off) across my apartment. I become conscious that theyseem to be receding far into the distance.

A thought, remembered clearly: This is coming on very quick. I dont think Im going to havetime for a second or third hit.

Another thought that followed: Hmm, I didnt fix my intentions for this trip in my head as clearlyas I normally attempt to do before taking a psychedelic.

Exp Year: 2005 Added to Database: Oct 30, 2007

Gender of reportee: male

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on Wed Oct 2 05:52:42 2013 GMT.

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Erowid Experience ID: 45012 Reality is a Five Spoked Wheel by Vulpine

I exhale and all concrete thought is obliterated.

As is so frequently the case with this kind of experience, the very act of putting it into concretelanguage diminishes the experience. The very nature of the psychedelic experience, by its very realotherness from everyday experience, means that it cannot be properly defined in the language ofthat everyday experience. Often, when coming up onto a more gradual entheogen like mushrooms,

I have had a thought along the lines of Oh yes, this is what its really like to be here, becauseI realize again anew how much my recollections and writings after the fact can only pale incomparison to the reality, or maybe more properly the unreality of tripping.

This drastic shift is made perhaps all the more stark by the fact that on this salvia trip, as isso common with this drug, I completely forgot that I had taken anything; indeed I forgot socompletely that maybe I couldnt even have explained to you (to the extent that I could havedone anything) that such a class of substances we call drugs (or psychedelics or entheogens orwhatever) even existed at all.

I set the bong down, and some part of me is aware that my torso is falling back so that I will layprone on the bed, only it seems like an incredibly long fall. A very long fall indeed. I dont know

if I actually pulled the blindfold fully on.

Because my time sense was temporarily non-functional, the rest of this paragraph seemed tohappen/coexist simultaneously. All statements were true at once: I was a five-pointed wheel.Reality itself was the five-spoked wheel. It was actually not flat in the way a wheel is flat. It hadinfinite depth, like each spoke of the wheel was a long shelf stretching out into the distance. It waskind of like a paddle wheel on a boat, only each of the five buckets was infinitely long and deep.I was actually a consciousness inside the tumbling object, rotating in its chambers while awareof all the chambers. They were full of light and beautifully riotous colors. As I tumbled in mycolorful bucket, through an opening in my chamber I could sometimes see out into another world,the base or real reality. What I could see of this world consisted of a grassy green plain upon

which an infinite number of feet (wearing sneakers??) were moving engaged in the act of rollingor rotating the bizarre wheeled object I was inside; I could even hear the feet striking the groundand feel the vibration from all those marching feet in my body. I became cognizant that my entirelife, or what I had perceived it to be, all 27 years, were actually an illusion. They were merely afancy I had generated while watching the interplay of light, color, and shadow in my bucket. Anyminute now I would be tumbled out onto the grass, forever lost from this false, comfortable realityand loosed into the base reality outside, forever cut off from the illusion of my life I was used too.

A profound sense of panic and fear came over me. I didnt want to be cut off from the life I hadknown, I really liked it! I began to struggle and flail in my chamber, trying to pull myself awayfrom the opening. If I pulled away at just the right moment I could return away from the base

reality to the reality I was familiar with. If only I could just . . .Some tiny semblance of normality came back (remember, all of the above occurred to me withinthe space of minutes or seconds of normal time) as I again became aware I was lying on my bedwith a blindfold on my face (I think maybe only partly covering my eyes) which I removed withgreat effort. The memory of smoking a hit of very potent salvia divinorum slowly, very dimly,struggled back into my mind. As if for reassurance of this fact, but really still with little conscious




on Wed Oct 2 05:52:42 2013 GMT.

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Erowid Experience ID: 45012 Reality is a Five Spoked Wheel by Vulpine

thought, I groped for the bong. Somehow I found it without knocking it over.

The panic and fear were fading but the room kept threatening to continue its maddening rotation.Everything was jiggly and turning. It felt stiflingly hot in my apartment. Still not really sober, Igot to my feet and managed to turn the A/C back on. I had the fleeting notion, obviously false,that for the last several minutes I hadnt been breathing at all. Realizing I shouldnt be moving

much yet I sat for a few moments in the chair by my computer before I had enough balance andtogetherness to go out onto my deck for fresh air. I sat by the door for a bit, breathing the humidbut lightly breezy seeming night air, then went to lean on my balcony and look at the world.

Another fleeting, irrational thought: what if someone sees me on drugs and calls the cops? Thisparanoid impracticality was quickly suppressed by the everyday logic that there is nothing abouta shirtless man leaning on his balcony to suggest a drug user or to otherwise merit a call to thepolice.

Probably because I was fighting so hard against the effects of the drug, which right then didntseem pleasant at all, the comedown seemed to take much longer. I went back inside and pet thecat while sitting on the small bed in my living room that I use mostly as a couch. I thought about

the notion I heard secondhand from the Tibetan Book of the Dead which suggests that when youdie entities come whose job it is to dismantle your ego what makes you the person who you are.If you are ready for them, they appear as angels but if you struggle they seem to be demons. Thatnight, they had definitely been demons rather than angels.

I decided to go for a walk I felt trapped inside the four walls of my apartment and even moreso inside the boundaries of my skull (a peculiar feeling). I managed to find a shirt and shoes andmy keys. I walked around my apartment complex, then I decided I needed a shower to cool downand cleanse myself. I walked to the corner store and got some cold iced tea to drink and a barof soap since I had run out. I felt more stable and balanced now, well enough grounded, but stilldistanced from reality as if I was watching everything from a remove.

The shower was very refreshing and pretty much cleansed the rest of the weirdness and broughtme more or less back down to earth, leaving the customary feeling of groundedness I usually haveafter salvia trips. I feel quite alive and very glad (also, relieved) to be so. This is a good feeling.However, I dont think Ive achieved increased acceptance of the impermanence of all things (whatmy new acquaintance earlier tonight referred to on IM as the law of undulation).

While I stood on my deck I had the certainty that I wouldnt want to try salvia again for a while.However, now I think Ill probably go back sometime soon with the intention to let go more fullyand try to accept the angels as angels.




on Wed Oct 2 05:52:42 2013 GMT.

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