script mag- the international issue
DESCRIPTION
Script Magazine is the Unitec Student publication.TRANSCRIPT
CONTENTS
824 ISSUE #9 MONDAY SEPTEMBER 17TH 2012
EDITOR: JAYNE KING
GRAPHIC DESIGN: MARK LOVATT
STUDENT DESIGN INTERNS: MIMI CHUNG, STANLEY ZEN
NEXT ISSUE: THE YEARBOOK ISSUE, OUT 15 OCTOBER 2012
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT HOW TO BECOME A CONTRIBUTER
SERVING IN THE ISRAELI DEFENCE FORCE: A SOLDIER'S STORY
BRET MCKENZIE INTERVIEW
CONTRIBUTORS: Shannon Pennefather, Nicki Spring, Kaye Adams, Phubeth Udomsilp, Britany Dyke, Sam Polwart, Ruth Marsters, Billie
Jean Peita, Melissa Diener, Natalie Wilcox
SPECIAL THANKS TO: Bronwyn Watts & Sarah Sung from the International Office. And Mimi Chung and Stanley Zen for the
cover and contents design.
CONTENTS
44
40ISSUE #9 MONDAY SEPTEMBER 17TH 2012
ADVERTISING AND EDITORIAL INQUIRES ph. (09) 815 4321 ext 7383
DISCLAIMER Opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publishers. Submissions and contributors are welcome, but the publisher reserves the right to select and edit the material submitted. Materials submitted will remain property of the publisher unless alternative arrangements are made.
NEXT ISSUE: THE YEARBOOK ISSUE, OUT 15 OCTOBER 2012
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT HOW TO BECOME A CONTRIBUTER
COOKIE IN JAPAN
THAI GUIDE BY A THAI GUY
SPECIAL THANKS TO: Bronwyn Watts & Sarah Sung from the International Office. And Mimi Chung and Stanley Zen for the
cover and contents design.
Reversed Out On Black
Just LogoShorter Version
No Byline Version
Normal On White
football fixadult leagues ● kids ● eventsfootball fix
premier leagues & events
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THE TRAVELLING BUG HAS DEVOURED MANY OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. I HAVE A HANDFUL OF MY ‘NEAREST AND DEAREST’ SCATTERED AROUND THE GLOBE LIKE KUMARA AND PUMPKIN SEEDS AND THANKS TO FACEBOOK, I AM ABLE TO LIVE OUT BOTH MY BEST (FANTASIES) AND WORST (NIGHTMARES) VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THEM ALL.
Friend (A) is living the dream in London,
married to a handsome NZ soldier on duty
in Europe, earning mega bucks, rocking a
serious designer wardrobe and attending
all the velvet roped, private functions that
one could only watch via MTV. Sailing
around the islands of Nice or Majorca clad
only in the most luxurious of threads is only
a minute part of this business savvy friend
of mine. Beautiful, educated and gutsy,
her life adventures read stylishly similar
to an episode of Mad Men (minus the
debauchery) yet with the decorum of Kate
Middleton and Prince Will’s wedding.
Friend (B) is living frugally in Scotland;
believe me she can take the “Living below
the line” to an extreme. A “damsel in
distress” she is NOT! Bunked in with a mob
of foreigners in this grand Jane Eyre type
manor is something she has done with a
conscious effort, alongside existing on a
scabbed (not purchased) cigarette and
a pint of Guinness. Her end goal of being
in the land of kilts, is to find that special
ginger ninja.
I have known this friend to couch surf
around Auckland for more than a year and
live out of one or two small plastic bags at
a time. Materialistic she is not, but having a
good time to her is a must.
Friend (C) is doing the Oz thing. After
years of travelling the globe and worn-out
by the endless grind, she moved away from
the tall poppies and decided to pursue
her dreams of making a difference. Her
biography (if she had one) would read like
a colourful homage to Samantha from Sex
and the City. Breaking hearts from the top
of the world to the bottom, this friend is
sassy and depraved.
With a law degree (earned in OZ) under
her belt, this feisty ex-JAFFA is living life
meaningfully in Melbourne with the man of
the moment, sipping on the odd vino and
latte overlooking the beautiful and quirky
Lygon Street. Last I heard, this friend was
using her legal skills to evade a speeding
ticket and is emphatically denying the
charges.
Like Whitaker's chocolate, I savour the
weekly and sometimes daily updates from
my piquant friends and, needless to say,
they provide more entertainment than I
can handle on my dreariest days. If you,
like me, have yet to venture further afield,
then thank your lucky stars for social media
stalking and status updates.
Peace and love
Jayne x
Reversed Out On Black
Just LogoShorter Version
No Byline Version
Normal On White
football fixadult leagues ● kids ● eventsfootball fix
premier leagues & events
5
FINALLY AN ISSUE OF SCRIPT MAGAZINE ON A SUBJECT I KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT! MOST OF THE “NOUGHTIES” WERE SPENT BY ME GOING GLOBAL AS THE WORLD’S POOREST JET-SETTER. IN MY TRAVELS I LEARNT IMPORTANT LESSONS; FIRST, IF YOU ARE DOWN TO YOUR LAST 20 EURO THE BEST PLACE TO SPEND IT IS IN A BAR BECAUSE MAGIC ONLY HAPPENS WHEN YOU REALLY NEED IT! AND SECOND, THE BEST WAY TO END A RELATIONSHIP IS AT THE DEPARTURE GATE WHILE A SINGLE TEAR ROLLS DOWN YOUR CHEEK.
Kiwis need to get out into the
world. The Big O.E. (overseas
expedition) has been a part of our
culture for generations and when
we get out we stay out for ages!
Back in the day we used to all head
straight for London. I wouldn’t
advise this. London has been
done to death and you will only
be able to afford a space on the
floor of a single room with four
other people; if you’re lucky. Try
going somewhere you have never
heard of. I went to Hamburg for a
weekend one time, and stayed three
years.
So why do it? Because nothing
beats getting out of your home
town to find out whom you are.
When you go to the other side of
the world you learn so much more
about NZ than you ever could by
staying there. Some say Auckland
is the second largest city in the
world on land mass. It’s not. It’s the
world’s largest town!
So if you’re from foreign parts,
welcome and thanks for bringing
the world to NZ.
If you’re from Aotearoa, go give'em
a taste of kiwi!
Peace out.
El Presidente
7
Shannon Pennefather (Unitec Student President)
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SERVING IN THE
A SOLDIER’S STORY
ISRAELI
FORCEDEFENCE
MELISSA IS A 3RD YEAR BACHELOR IN COMMUNICATIONS STUDENT, DOING A DOUBLE MAJOR IN INTERNATIONAL COMMUNICATIONS AND MEDIA STUDIES. SHE WAS BORN AND RAISED IN SWITZERLAND BUT HAS BEEN HERE FOR THE PAST 2.5 YEARS AND STILL LOVES BEING HERE!
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BY: MELISSA DIENER
IT IS ON ONE OF THOSE FIRST SUNNY SPRING AFTERNOONS IN AUCKLAND WHEN I MEET
UP WITH FORMER ISRAELI DEFENCE FORCES SOLDIER ILAN BLUMBERG. BEING AWARE OF
THE UNIQUENESS OF HIS VOICE, HE TALKS OPENLY ABOUT HIS SERVICE IN THE WEST BANK, FACING ACCUSATIONS OF
BEING A SELF-HATING JEW AND THE REASON WHY HE DIDN’T
SHOOT BACK.
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After having moved back and forth several
times between South Africa and Israel
during his childhood and teenage years,
Ilan Blumberg decided to live in Israel at
the age of 24, being aware that this desire
was connected with one indispensable
obligation: completing the compulsory
military service in the Israeli Defence
Forces (IDF).
Because of his language skills he was
assigned the position of education officer.
A lot of western Jews in the IDF spoke little
Hebrew, and those who were born in Israel
were not fluent in English. Things were not
looking that bad after all for Ilan, and so he
waited for that one phone call that would
allow him to get started with training
courses.
They never called.
Instead Ilan was sent to a base in occupied
West Bank on the promise that it would
only be for a short period of time.
“It was a depressing place,” he recalls.
Together with 15 other soldiers, his only
job was to control a Palestinian village, and
make sure none of those villagers would
sabotage the water line that went past
their houses. But it was not the Palestinian
villagers, nor that water line that interested
the soldiers the most. It was the fence that
was constructed alongside the water pipe,
which would set off an alarm at the Israeli
base every time someone or something
would touch it.
“The alarm was our only signal for action.
We would jump into our gear, grab our
arms and storm towards the village.
Sometimes, to our disappointment, we saw
that it had only been a dog that set off the
alarm.
If there was no incident for a long time,
the soldiers would create scenarios
themselves. The fence was used as an
unjustified reason to carry out raids in the
Palestinian village. Random houses were
violently entered, potential weapons were
confiscated and villagers got humiliated
or beaten up for no particular reason.
“One day, we broke someone’s arm,” Ilan
remembers.
"I never fully understood what apartheid was until I left South Africa and it is just the same with Israel."
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I don’t need to ask him for a reason. It is
obvious that there was none.
Ilan also remembers that his unit would
drive around the Palestinian village
so some soldiers could throw rubbish
at people from the back of the truck.
Rubbish, such as empty cans, which they
deliberately collected throughout the week
for just this one purpose: To relieve stress
by humiliating Palestinians. Ilan watched
but never threw rubbish himself. When
being asked whether he was conscious of
his actions, he nods without hesitation.
All of a sudden, the reports and videos
about the inhumane actions of IDF soldiers
towards Palestinians that I have read
and watched with my head shaking, not
understanding how people can treat each
other like that, had taken on human shape.
I did not blame or judge him for what he
did because war, at the end of the day, is a
human activity which is as old as mankind.
It turns people into lifeless creatures who
have forgotten their sense of humanity.
Ilan still remembers the day he was shot at.
"I never fully understood what apartheid was until I left South Africa and it is just the same with Israel."
“It was like it all happened in slow motion. I
could see the spark of the gun. Then I smelt
the gun powder in the air. My whole body
instantly broke out in sweats and I think I
fainted. The bullet had missed me though.”
He was court-martialed after that incident
just like every other soldier who was shot at
but didn’t shoot back.
“They wanted to have an explanation why I
didn’t shoot back.”
He seems to travel back in time and replay
the scene in his head.
“Because I could have hit someone, I
replied”.
Although Ilan got punished for not shooting
back, his colleagues were still jealous of him
because he got “action” while the rest of the
unit remained bored. The lust for something,
anything, to do becomes a chronic illness
that accompanies a soldier’s mind 24/7. The
frustration of walking around with a loaded
gun, day after day, week after week, and not
being able to shoot a single bullet becomes
insufferable. When asking to be transferred
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to a different base, Ilan was told to keep
those thoughts to himself if he didn’t want
to end up in military jail. Only after six
long months in the West Bank, Ilan was
allowed to use his one flight out of Israel.
After visiting his family who lived in New
Zealand at that time, he returned to Israel
but refused to go back to the same base
in the West Bank for ideological reasons.
The army let him finish his one year service
at a different location. Thanks to a mistake
in processing his application, he had to
complete service only one year, instead of
the usual three.
I ask him what he did when he finished his
military service. He laughs. “I got drunk.
Really, really drunk.” He takes another gulp
of his Tiger beer and pauses for a moment.
“Have you been to Israel?” he then asks me
back. I shake my head.
He explains that someone who has never
lived in Israel cannot understand how
Israeli society functions. Everything is
completely tied up with the military
service.You can't get a good education or
job, and sometimes not even a mortgage,
if you are what they call a “Refusenik,” a
person who refuses to serve in the army.
There are two sorts of people who are
exempt from serving in the army: the
ultraorthodox Jews and people who are
(or claim to be) suicidal. The expression
of suicidal thoughts, however, will be
recorded and remain a thorn in the
judgemental eye of society.
No matter where you go, the first question
you are asked will always be: "Where
did you serve?” Whoever doesn’t go
to the army misses out on a huge part
of understanding how Israeli society
functions. The IDF is often a focus point
in school curricula, songs and news and
therefore is a vital part of Israeli culture.
Nevertheless, Ilan’s viewpoint of Israel as a
benign occupier have changed noticeably
since he got some distance from the IDF
and gained consciousness of the whole
conflict.
“I never fully understood what apartheid
was until I left South Africa and it is just
the same with Israel. Once I got some time
to process what had happened in the IDF,
I couldn’t understand how we as Jews, a
people who experienced a Holocaust, were
capable of doing such horrible things to
other people. In fact, I couldn’t understand
how anyone can do this to other humans”
One has to take into account though that
Israel has changed since the nineties, when
Ilan was in the army. With the assassination
of Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin in 1995,
the political situation experienced a
drastic paradigm shift from a secular left
wing leadership to the extreme right wing
opposition that has remained dominant
until the present day. Because of his rising
political opposition against Israel, Ilan often
has to face accusations of being called a
self-hating Jew.
TWO ISRAELI SOLDIERS ARRESTING A PALESTINIAN IN THE WEST BANK
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“I have changed my opinion about a lot of
things,” he says.
He tells the story of a friend who cycled
through the West Bank once. He asked
her if she was crazy and why on earth
she would do such a dangerous thing. His
friend simply replied: “Why not?” She told
him that the Palestinians were extremely
hospitable and friendly, and even invited
her to be a guest in their houses.
He had to agree with his friend after
thinking about it. Why not?!
Today, Ilan truly believes that if a
Palestinian state will bring a solution
to the conflict, then there should be a
Palestinian state.
Another factor that encouraged Ilan’s
change of view is the Israeli organization
“Breaking the Silence”. Former IDF soldier
Yehuda Shaul founded the organization in
March 2004 after the second Intifada. A
small group of veteran combatants started
collecting and publishing testimonies
from various other former soldiers who,
at that time, were believed to be the only
ones who disagreed with the IDF’s cruel
methods of gaining Palestinian territories.
They were left alone with the belief that
they were the only ones who suffered
from the traumatising memories. The
organisation's aim is to inform the public
about a soldier’s everyday life in occupied
territories in Gaza, the West Bank and
East Jerusalem. Up until the present day,
Breaking the Silence has collected over
700 testimonies from almost every unit
of the IDF. Every single one of those
testimonies has been carefully researched
and cross-checked with additional eye
witnesses and/or other human rights
organisations that operate in the same
field.
Ilan Blumberg too, is one of those soldiers
who believe his unique voice deserves
to be heard. He says he would rather go
to jail than serve in the army if he had to
make the same decision again.
The end of our conversation leads us
straight back to the fence we talked about
at the beginning.
“Sometimes you feel like you sit on a
fence that is situated between right and
wrong and it appears that it is up to you
to decide which side you want to be on.
It makes you weak. I guess I haven`t been
a very good soldier. A soldier of peace
maybe.”
Ilan Blumberg has been living in New
Zealand for several years now where he
works asa registered architect. In the
meantime, Ilan has contacted Breaking the
Silence to testify, but was told that only
testimonies from the year 2000 onwards
could be accepted for their database.
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COMEDY
PARAKAI MAY NOT BE A LOCATION YOU REGISTER WHEN CONTEMPLATING A GREAT
NIGHT OUT, BUT THIS THOUGHT PROCESS MAY YET CHANGE. RECENTLY THERE HAS BEEN RESURGENCE TOWARDS THIS SUBURBAN
GEM IN THE FORM OF COMEDY ON THE ROCKS. LOCALISED AT THE ICONIC
GEOTHERMAL WONDER PARAKAI SPRINGS, COMEDY ON THE ROCKS
GRASPS THE STELLAR COMBINATION OF RELAXATION AND HILARITY,
RESULTING IN A RELAXED, INTIMATE AND HILARIOUS AFFAIR.
ROCKSON THE
The Jewel of ParakaiBY: SAM POLWART
3RD YEAR BACHELOR OF COMMUNICATIONS STUDENT BY DAY AND COMEDIAN, MUSICIAN AND CEO OF AWESOMENESS BY NIGHT!
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Created by self-confessed “part time
comic, full time ladies' man” Anthony
Wilson, Comedy on the Rocks is a
relatively new venture that has already
featured some of Auckland’s, New
Zealand’s and the world’s best comics
across its stage. Think award winning
Kiwi comics such as Jarred Fell, Brendon
Lovegrove, and Mark Scott all performing
to thunderous applause. Not limited to just
us locals, international superstars Lindsay
Webb (Australia) and Marcel Lucont
(France) featured as part of the New
Zealand International Comedy Festival,
leaving audiences in fits of giggles and
audiences expelling what Webb described
as “Just an acceptable amount of pee”.
Not for the faint of heart, these events do
sometimes contain a certain amount of
vulgar and slightly offensive humouristic
activities, however tailored together with
skills from award winning MC’s like Nick
Rado, the audience is easily charmed
by his cheeky and somewhat short
demeanour. When questioned about
offensive content Wilson responded,
“an audience understands that they are
attending an event where they may be
exposed to potentially offensive content,
so a certain amount of resilience and
acceptance is always expected. On top of
this I am on hand if anything gets 'out of
hand', but that has never happened”.
In contrast to other renowned venues
of Auckland city, Comedy on the Rocks
offers a different atmosphere. Doing
away with smoke and mirror necessities it
focuses more on raw talent and audience
enjoyment. “It’s a little more relaxed than
venues like ‘The Classic’ as it’s outside and
there isn’t the same expectation that all
comics need to be great” describes Wilson.
Directly comparing this event with others in
Auckland, it easily stands up on its own, in
terms of quality, professionalism and value
for money.
Set in a converted marque, this outside
venue does get quite chilly towards the end
of the evening, despite the five gas heaters
warming the audience, so it is strongly
advised that audience members dress
warmly.
For lovers of comedy who like the thought
of a relaxing thermal bathe after an evening
of abdominal aching chuckle cheering,
then Comedy on the Rocks might be the
medicine you’ve been lacking.
For information on Comedy on the
Rocks, and their events, visit their
Facebook page: www.facebook.com/
ComedyontheRocks
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PREPARED BY THE USU ADVOCACY TEAM
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guide to flattingDO YOU HAVE AN AWKWARD FLATTING SITUATION? THEN READ THIS FOR TIPS AND INFORMATION ON HOW BEST TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION AND YOUR RIGHTS.
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FLATMATE NOT PAYING RENT
THE USELESS GUY WHO WON’T CLEAN
NOISY FLATMATE
NO-ONE LIKES A STRAY, BUT A STRAY
THAT PAYS IS OKAY.
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guide to flatting
There are three single flatmates, and three
bedrooms. Everyone can have a room and
friends can come over and leave, whenever
they want.
After a while, you notice that one guy is
coming over a fair bit, and staying a few
times a week. Then suddenly, he and your
flattie fall in love. He never leaves your flat
again.
He’s showering when you’re dirty, he’s
eating when you're hungry, and he and
your flattie are banging against the wall
every night when you’re trying to sleep. He
doesn’t even live there!
What can be done? Well, you need to
establish whether or not he really does live
there.
If yes, he needs to be incorporated into
your rights and responsibilities of your flat.
It’s not all bad - this splits your rent and
you don’t even need a bigger house.
• your flattie won’t bring random
people home after a night on the town
anymore.
• you probably should clear it with your
landlord if you want to do this because
the landlord may not want any extra
permanent resident in the house.
If no, he needs boundaries. Have a meeting
with all your flatties and develop a policy:
• each flattie can have guests stay on
specific nights e.g. Friday, Saturday,
Sunday.
• no guests can be in the house when the
flatties are all out.
• even something so complicated as
allowing guests to stay for a maximum
of two nights per week for free, but if
they stay any longer it’s $15 per night.
• all guests have to make the flatties
breakfast the morning after their stay.
THE ADVICE: Knock it on the head before
there’s a problem. Develop something
everyone agrees on before you get strays
(partners or randoms).
1 7
ASSHOLE LANDLORD
THE SINGLE GIRL OR BOY
COOKING AND BUYING
FLAT GOODS
So the flipside of the above is the
singletons. You move in as two couples
(double dating flat) but one couple breaks
up. Awkward.
One stays with a friend for a while but she
wants to come back because she is still
paying to live there. What to do:
One way to deal with this is to have
one of the flatties sleep on the couch,
and officially turn the lounge into their
bedroom. This of course means you don’t
have a lounge anymore... and the only
common spaces are the hallway and the
kitchen (unless your house is huge). This is
arguably less than ideal, though it may be a
good option for the short term.
They may get back together. If they don’t,
one of the flatmates may want to move
out. This ultimately will increase your rent
as now the cost would split among only
three people. Unfortunately unless you
get creative, this situation is hard to avoid,
especially if only one flatmate wants to
move out.
There is, of course, another problem that
can be born out of this situation. The
singleton brings a new girl home every
night, and they do the walk of shame every
morning. Depending on how liberal you are
and how far apart the bedrooms are, this
may be a problem.
ADVICE: Agree on which days and how
often flatmates can have guests to stay.
Buy earplugs and relocate your bed to
the other side of the room (and make
sure their bed is not touching the wall or
ask them to disassemble their bed, so it
doesn’t repeatedly hit the wall).
One flatmate doesn’t like tomatoes, another is a vegetarian, one refuses to wipe her royal bottom with any less than three ply toilet paper, while the other cannot stand the thought of eating non-free range eggs. Then there is you, all you care about is saving a dime and making sure your tummy is full and the house is clean. Shopping and cooking as a flat can be a nightmare.
Follow these easy steps to keep everyone happy:
1. Decide what meals and products you want to buy together as a flat.
• you could do everything together (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, toothpaste etc), or you could just do some things (dinner on a Sunday and the essentials).
2. Decide how much you want to spend.
• I know flats who have managed to survive off $20 per week for all food—it is possible!
3. Decide who will cook on what nights, and when you will do the flat shop or whether you will just purchase items when you need them.
• This is the fun part! Tip: getting your “night to cook” out of the way early in the week is generally the best option.
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ASSHOLE LANDLORD
THE PARTY
COOKING AND BUYING
FLAT GOODS
This free lunchtime presentation covers:
• Setting yourself up in a flat
• Signing a tenancy or a flatmate agreement
• What you and your landlord are responsible for
• What to do if things go wrong with your landlord or flatmates
• What to do if you or your flatmates want to
move out
When: Wednesday 26th September, 12pm-1pm
Where: The USU office boardroom, Rm 1085 in
the Hub Mt Albert Campus
Cost: Absolutely FREE!
RSVP: Please email [email protected]
to reserve a seat
Can't make the presentation?
The USU Advocates can give free advice on
Tenancy law any day of the week.
Email [email protected] to book
an appointment, or drop by USU reception.
(USU Advocates also have a drop-in service at
Waitakere campus on Tuesdays and Thursdays).
You wake up, head throbbing, lying on the
kitchen floor. Staring at the ceiling, you
think to yourself “How did that block of
butter end up on the roof?” You roll over,
glass crinkling beneath you, and notice the
massive hole in the wall. Then it dawns on
you, “Oh no the flat viewing is tomorrow!”
As the tenant, you are responsible for
repairing any intentional or careless
damage caused by you or another person
who you allow onto the premises. However,
you cannot be held liable for damage that
arises because of normal “wear and tear”.
The landlord has a right to inspect the
premises if they have given you at least
48 hours, have not inspected the premises
in the last four weeks, and plan to come
inspect the premises between 8am and
7pm.
As the tenant you must also let the landlord
know as soon as possible if damage is
discovered or repairs are needed.
THE ADVICE: Inform your landlord of the damage, then check to see whether the landlord is legally allowed to inspect the flat tomorrow. Then, unless you want to risk having the lease terminated, or saying goodbye to all that bond money, make arrangements to repair the damage.
Do you have unanswered questions? or
do you want to find out more? then come
along to the Tenancy Law Seminar, hosted
by your Unitec Student Issues Advocates.
tenancy law
TENANCY LAW: YOUR RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES
THE USU STUDENT ISSUES ADVOCATES PRESENT:
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VOXPOPS
Sesa, Ceewa, Sila (Certificate Sports & Recreation)
TOP 3 FREE THINGS TO DO IN AUCKLAND
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Steven + friend (Bachelor of Business)
TOP 3 FREE THINGS TO DO IN AUCKLAND
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VOXPOPS
TOP 3 FREE THINGS TO DO IN AUCKLAND
Moli Pul, Reid Elisaia, Justine Te Whare
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TOP 3 FREE THINGS TO DO IN AUCKLAND
Viv Frost (Bachelor of Communication)Moli Pul, Reid Elisaia, Justine Te Whare
BY: KAYE ADAMS
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MULLETS, SEA LIONS, AND A DEAD NORWEGIAN BACK-PACKER ARE JUST SOME OF THE SCENES TO EXPECT FROM BRET MCKENZIE’S NEW FILM TWO LITTLE BOYS. SET IN THE EARLY 90S, SOUTHLAND, THE FILM SEES BRET PLAY NIGE, WHO FINDS HIMSELF IN A SPOT OF TROUBLE AND TURNS TO HIS BEST MATE DEANO, PLAYED BY AUSSIE COMEDIAN/RADIO HOST HAMISH BLAKE (THINK HAMISH AND ANDY).
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From studying film and theatre In
Wellington, to the success of Flight of the
Conchords and an Academy Award for
Best original song “Man or Muppet”, Bret
McKenzie has hit Hollywood running. With
fame, success and an expanding movie
career, Bret took time out of his busy
schedule to have a quick yarn with me
about his success, and his new flick.
First of all, I must elaborate on my
own personal excitement at having the
opportunity to interview Bret. When
Ashley, our former Script editor, sent out
the “Bret McKenzie interview up for grabs’
email I must have replied YES within about
0.5 seconds. The Flight of the Conchords
funny man did not let me down in the
humour department; throughout the
interview were a lot of laughs and good
natured conversation that kept me hanging
off his every word.
“4pm sharp”, the publicist arranged the
telephone interview to connect to my
landline. As I sat nervously at my breakfast
bar waiting for the phone to ring, I
wondered if he would be anything like his
character, Bret, in Flight of the Conchords,
and if it would be perhaps inappropriate
to ask him to sing the chorus of “business
time”. Then the clock ticked, and the phone
rang.
After our quick introductions, I learned
Bret had just arrived in Wellington from his
Flight of the Conchords tour with Jemaine
(Clement). I had the next fifteen minutes to
yak away about his career:
So tell me, what was your dream job as a
child?
Bret: Umm ballet.
You any good?
Bret: Absolutely, nah I was ok. We had to
do it, because our mum made us.
Slightly different career path then.
How have you found the journey from
Wellington to Hollywood?
Bret: I went to Disneyland as a teenager
and remember being wowed by the lights
and how big the city was, and it’s just
amazing seeing how much of the film
industry is made there.
So Two Little Boys is a great film, are you
anything like your character Nige?
Bret: Not really, no. The only thing is that
my hair is not that different to a mullet in
real life. There is a lot of mullet. We [Bret
and co- star Hamish Blake] were very proud
of our mullets.
You did rock the mullet very well, have you
ever had one before?
Bret: I haven’t really, it was my first time
with a mullet and I was really into it.
How do you feel about bringing it back in
trend?
Bret: Yeah maybe! I feel like the mullet
has recently had a go at coming back, but
I don’t think it really succeeded. It was
hovering; it was hovering around the neck…
25
What can you tell us about the character
Nige?
Bret: Nige is a pretty beaten down dude.
Yeah, it (the film) was about two friends,
whose friendship becomes like a marriage
and then like a dysfunctional marriage. The
guy accidently knocks over a Norwegian
backpacker... We’ve all been there.
So there is a bit of ‘bromance’ there?
Bret: A very dark ‘bromance’. The sort of
‘bromance’ Hamish and I would not make.
What was it like working with Hamish?
Bret: Really great, yeah. One day Hamish
bought the crew tee-shirts that said
“business time”. I arrived to work and
everyone was wearing “business time” tee-
shirts (laughs). But yeah, we get on really
well. It was really fun working together and
we are both into TV and comedy. Neither
of us had done such a big acting job so it
was good to work on that together. We are
both used to doing shows where we’re the
writers, so this is different because we’re
working with other people and their world
of ideas.
Do you have any plans to work with him
again?
Bret: Oh yeah I’d love to, it would be really
funny. He’s a really, really funny guy. Andy
(from Hamish and Andy) came down to
Invercargill, and did one of his radio shows
from Invercargill while we were filming
down there. It was very funny.
What was your favourite part to act out in
the film?
Bret: We had quite a good time pretending
to pull a dead body out of a road works
hole, it ended up being a really funny
challenge. We were working with Filip Berg
(who plays the dead body of the Norwegian
backpacker). We had to lift him, but he’s
actually quite heavy, so Hamish and I were
genuinely struggling to shift this body
around.
Another day, we were improvising with
an actual sea lion, which felt like we were
filming a nature documentary hosted by
a couple of bogans. It was pretty wild.
We had a guy from the conservation
department there making sure it was ok,
but we had to keep our distance from the
sea lion in case it attacked us. At one point
the sea lion lunged at Hamish, and another
time a sea lion chased me up a sand dune.
It was strange to work with because you
don’t know what is going to happen. We
were lucky because the script said there’s a
sea lion and there happened to be a beach
down in the Catlins where sea lions hang
out, and they happened to be there that
day.
They’re massive creatures; I’ve had one run
out at me before.
Bret: Yes, they are massive, and the roar!
Did you hear the roar? It’s terrifying eh.
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Yes they move so fast!
Bret: Yeah they’re not messing around eh.
We were doing this scene, Hamish, Maaka
Pohatu (who plays Gav) and I, and we’re
supposed to come in and the sea lion roars,
and the camera stops rolling. We turn
around and Maaka has literally run off, he
ran for the hills.
Do you have any advice or suggestions for
our current Unitec Drama students who
want to reach Hollywood?
Bret: I’d probably make something here
first - So you’ve got something to show
Hollywood, because there are a lot of
people in Hollywood trying to make things.
Is America everything it’s cracked up to
be?
Bret: I don’t think so, it was really fun
making a film in New Zealand, I think
making films, it doesn’t matter where you
make them, it’s a similar process.
So, you are very successful Bret, what’s
it like being an iconic New Zealand
representative?
Bret: Very good. It’s very good being a
New Zealand representative.
Do you get recognised in the States for
Flight of the Conchords?
Bret: Yeah, a little bit, luckily
most of the recognition is
positive. It makes you realise
how terrible it must be, being a
politician and nobody likes you
and people know who you are.
But not so much that I can’t
do my own thing.
What’s the next project?
Bret: Austenland, a rom-com.
That comes out later this year
and it was really fun working
on something that is the
opposite of Two Little Boys.
It’s very different, as it is a rom com. It is
kind of quirky and it’s fromJerusha Hess,
one of the writers of Napoleon Dynamite.
Is this your first rom com?
Bret: Yeah it is, I haven’t done that many
films. I’m the love mis-interest. Moving into
working in film is quite different to working
in TV because TV is quite fast and set to
deadlines and is so definite. Film can take
years but you could literally get a phone
call and be shipped off to Los Angeles the
next day.
I have to ask, who is your favourite
Muppet?
Bret: Miss Piggy! The most fun to work
with, she’s so sweet, then she’s so violent,
she’s a great comedy character.
Unfortunately my fifteen minutes were up,
so we said our goodbyes, and I thanked
him for his inspirational and humourous
interview. I also told him I’d tell everyone
to check out Two Little Boys which comes
out in cinemas September 20. Bret was
such a pleasure to interview, funny, genuine
and modest, not too far removed from the
loveable version of himself, made famous in
Flight of the Conchords.
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DID YOU KNOW THAT THE ‘WORLD IS YOUR CAMPUS’?
Unitec sends students on exchange each year to our internationally
recognised partner institutions. It is a unique opportunity to spend a
semester studying in Europe, USA, Canada, South America, Scandinavia,
the United Kingdom, Asia or Australia as part of your degree programme,
without extending the length of your degree, because you can cross-credit
the approved courses.
YOU PAY YOUR NORMAL TUITION FEES TO UNITEC. YOU ARE STILL ELIGIBLE FOR STUDYLINK ALLOWANCES, AND SCHOLARSHIPS ARE AVAILABLE!
It is a fantastic opportunity which few people have in their lives and for
those of you who take advantage of our Unijet Exchange Programme it is
always an amazing and worthwhile experience.
FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT THE UNIJET EXCHANGE OFFICE
EMAIL: [email protected]
If you would like to run a stall and represent your country by selling your national delicacies,
Please email [email protected]
www.facebook.com/studentsatunitecwww.usu.co.nz
Come along and tantalise your tastebuds with the variety of foodon offer from countries all around the world.
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Taking an exchange semester to one
of the furthest universities from home
was fraught with excitement, learning
curves and opportunity. Choosing to
study at GIH (Stockholm School of Sport
and Health Science) located in Sweden’s
capital Stockholm has indeed given me
everything I hoped for and more. Electing
to undertake what is known as a practical
semester at GIH was almost too much fun
at times it didn’t feel like a university. Over
my chosen courses sports that I undertook
were 90% of the time completed in a
practical (physical) environment. Among
those included were athletics, volleyball,
badminton, mini-tennis, dancing,
swimming, roller skiing, gymnastics,
orienteering, kayaking and many more. To
have delved into so many sports in such
a short time frame was fascinating, and
SWEDISH EXCHANGEBY: SCOTT LUMLEY
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SWEDISH EXCHANGE
to think that I have acquired such a raft of
knowledge from these sports is extremely
beneficial for my future pursuits. Kayaking
was one such sport in which I gained such
an experience physically and mentally, as
we undertook a kayaking and camping trip
along Sweden’s lower east coast and were
challenged with numerous life experiences.
We were to navigate ourselves along
the coastline and kayak to certain points
in which we were to make camp. Upon
making camp tasks included building a
fire, pitching tents and attempting to fish.
Being in the wilderness and having to
make do with what you have and enjoy
the simple things in life was humbling. I
guess the thing it reminded me of most
was that it felt a bit like scouts when I was
younger. Eccept this was much different
because learning from each other in such
a fun down to earth way was indeed eye
opening. I really believe I grew more
in those few days than I have in some
previous years of my life. Thus the benefits
that I gained from this trip alone were
enough to assure me that my decision to
undergo an exchange semester in Sweden
was the correct and satisfactory choice.
Outside of university, Stockholm is a
great city to live, especially if you are
young. Encompassing a tight and easily
accessible city centre, Stockholm lies as
a vibrant beautiful city filled with canals
and islands that make this part of the
world very unique. Being such a long
way from home (just a small thirty hour
journey from wee old New Zealand) one
would wonder if the culture and people
were completely different. As I quickly
found out the answer is no. Yes, they
may have some funny traditions such as
midsummer but I generally felt at home in
no time at all. Hence the Swedish friends
and acquaintances that I made over my
time in Sweden are in many ways the same
as those in New Zealand. The only key
difference is the language. Although this
did not prove such a big obstacle for me as
the Swedes are very articulate with English
(all of them) making it easy to do anything
with the comfort of the English language.
Overall my Swedish exchange semester
was truly beneficial to all areas of my life.
The experiences, friends, and knowledge
I have gained in six months have been
tremendous. This Swedish exchange is
certainly something I will cherish for the
rest of my life with absolutely no regrets.
Scott is studying a Bachelor of Sports and
is currently undertaking a paper entitled
Event Management. The event in which he
is involved is the Football World Cup run
in conjunction with the USU. Take a look
at the facebook page and usu website and
find out more! http://www.facebook.com/
events/484118848267266/
http://www.usu.co.nz/whats-on/clubs-and-
sports/football-world-cup-2012-semester-
two
Not the overly glorified and glamourised life
bestowed upon us via TV 3… why the hell
should you all trust my word…?
Because I did live on the Gold Coast and
I spent over two thirds of my life across
the ditch… so, we can say I have some
experience… Mozzie style.
What’s the real deal, lights aside and
blinders removed? Well, it’s not all sunshine,
bikinis and hunks (or hunkettes a.k.a
aunty—then again; try call someone here in
NZ aunty if they’re not your aunty just see
what happens…I DARE YOU!)
Life on the Gold Coast isn’t that much
different from life anywhere else. I mean
you still need to work for a living, the
weather still turns to shit and you pay
through the teeth for the ‘lifestyle’—which
trust me, doesn’t always mean you’re
living large in a waterfront apartment. It
THE REAL
can sometimes mean you’re living in a
four bedroom house five minutes from
aforementioned waterfronts, I guess we can
say the lifestyle is the postcode—4217 for
Surfer’s.
Reality TV led astray, produced ‘The
GC’ and with that came some appalling
language, a misrepresentation of the Maori
culture and lack lustre television at best;
but like a car crash we sat and watched
(well, I didn’t…I did however Google it and
got the scoop and was relieved I didn’t
contribute in any way to those ratings).
Boy were we given a pretty meke crash site
come the end of it.
But, did anyone watching truly believe
what it was they were watching? It wasn’t
Keeping up with the Kardashian’s kind
of real (If that show is straight up legit).
It was more of a Big Brother joke of a
reality series. Remember the GC is just like
LADS AND LASSES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE THEE, THE REAL GC!
BY: NICKI SPRING
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THE REAL
everywhere else—even the weather turns
to shit on you! The jobs dry up and in
the winter you’re lucky to get a solid two
months of work, particularly if you’re in
construction, civil engineering, trades etc.
but the bad weather doesn’t just hit in the
winter and wave goodbye, it attacks every
season and is damn near as unpredictable
as the stock market—TRUST ME! I spent
my first GC Christmas with a flooded back
yard and a green pool.
So, yeah, the Gold Coast can be pretty
cool… sometimes. You know when the
weather hasn’t turned on you, you’ve got
money in your wallet and you’re standing
in line at Dream World…but it is still just
another city. Think about it like California
maybe or New York…there’s dreams there
and all the rest, but there is also a harshly
lit reality that’s not gum drops, fairy tales
and a few rounds on the beach.
It is ok if you still aren’t completely
convinced that it’s just another city, and
that’s cool. We’re all entitled to our own
opinions—as we should be, but life’s
too short to dream a dream based on
romanticised fictional representations
of the high life (Boose is straight up
expensive in Aussie - anyone here willing
pay fifty bucks a box?).
I don’t know, maybe you should hit it up
and see for yourself, I mean even I plan
to go back for a holiday (which means
crashing on a mate's couch and visiting the
beaches and maybe Surfers Paradise and
praying I don’t run into that creepy guy
from school…)
All that aside, safe travels and all that jazz.
Peace!
BY: NICKI SPRING
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PRIVATE LIVES
THEATRE REVIEW
THEATRE REVIEWBY: NICKI SPRING BACHELOR OF COMMUNICATIONS STUDENT
FUCK? KILL? REMARRY?WELL, WITH A HEADLINE LIKE THAT, WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANT TO WATCH ‘PRIVATE LIVES’…?
34
A modern take on the original rom-com
(written by Noel Coward) is sure to keep
you enthralled with its love, lust and
cosmopolitan fatigue. Starring Unitec
alumni Sam Snedden as the older Victor
Prynne and Sophie Henderson as the young
and in love Sybil Chase, as well as Matt
Whelan as Sybil’s new Husband and Mia
Blake as Victor’s new wife, you’re in for a
riot of a production. Jam-packed full of
short and sharp one liners, a whole mess of
slap happy humour and a cast that starts
you off on trembling foundations—because
you’ll be in stitches I promise you that
much—you’ll be captivated with the very
opening scene and loving every minute
thereafter.
With characters that couldn’t be more
different, you watch amazed as the car
wreckage of marital blunder unfolds—the
problem is of course, Elyot’s new wife and
Amanda’s new husband. We’ve all heard of
destructive love, but it is something else
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35
entirely played out before you on stage,
offset brilliantly with one liners of epic
proportions and side hugging slap stick,
probably bettered by the well-mannered
(or maybe cultured) way in which it's
delivered—though that probably amounts
to one hell of an oxymoronic statement.
Who doesn’t want a mouth full of
promiscuity, sex and laughter wrapped
in a bow of sophistication and, dare I say
it well-bred petulance. I don’t know how
else to praise this production without
sounding like a broken record, so I won’t
say too much else other than: ‘Go see it!’,
because it’s definitely something for the
books. I implore you all—one last time—to
experience this epic production (and the
amazing talent behind it) for yourselves, it
is well worth it. But, be sure to get it quick
as the show is only running until the 29th
of September at Q theatre on Queen street.
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Indian Trip of a Lifetime
36
"DONT BE SCARED, THIS IS INDIA."
THIS WAS THE ADVICE AN UPPERCLASSMAN GAVE ME AFTER HE LEFT ME ALONE WITH THE AUTO RICKSHAW DRIVER, WHO WOULD DROP ME OFF AT THE HOSTEL. IT WAS A QUICK 10 MINUTE DRIVE FROM THE UNIVERSITY; BUT SINCE I WAS ALL ALONE, WITH LITTLE KNOWLEDGE OF HINDI AND GUJARATI, AND I DID NOT REALLY UNDERSTAND WHERE I WAS GOING, IT WAS THE LONGEST RIDE OF MY LIFE. BUT IT WENT WELL. IT COST 25
RUPEES; I ONLY HAD 500 RUPEES IN CASH. THE SECURITY GUARD OF THE
HOSTEL PAID FOR IT, AFTER THEY HAD A QUICK SHOUTING STREAK (APPARENTLY IT'S
ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE 17RUPEES).Thus began my first day in India as an
exchange student. I rode more auto
rickshaws than trains, sleeper and normal
buses, bike-pulled rickshaw man-pulled
rickshaws, motorbikes and boats… It was a
big, crazy adventure. In the end, I did not
want to leave the country. I even extended
my visa.
BY: PRISTINE DE LARA, PRISTINE WAS ONE OF THREE UNITEC EXCHANGE
STUDENTS THAT WENT TO CEPT UNIVERSITY
MARCH EXCHANGE STUDENT TO CEPT UNIVERSITY, AHMEDABAD, INDIA
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Indian Trip of a Lifetime
37
We had a relaxed atmosphere in a very
busy city (even though we study a very
time consuming and stressful course).
When summer came, my roommates
(other exchange students) and I didn't
go home until 1 in the morning, since the
hostel was too hot even though we'd
leave the windows (and doors) open at
night. We would just lie on the northern
lawns in university, stare at the stars in
the sky, feel the not-so-cold breeze, talk
about everything, and then go home to the
“oven” room.
Food was not a problem–cheap, yummy,
spicy, and vegetarian meals were available
in the canteen. A minute walk from the
hostel was this group of street vendors
selling chai, omlet (Indian spelling), bread-
butter-jam, etc. Almost every day, I'd walk
there to get my daily chai. I could make
it at home, yes, since the hostel was fully
furnished. But it's just tastier when it's
from the street vendor- must be the air or
the water. There was always McDonald's,
sans beef, and KFC, with vegetarian
options, in case I got bored of eating the
same thing again and again.
As architecture students, our design group
involved site visits to the Old City–a heavy
traffic area with lots of people and narrow
streets. Every site visit felt like mission
impossible. We always got surrounded
by the locals, particularly kids, while we
noted down the heights of the buildings. I
have never been honked at so many times
in my entire life! Crossing the road while
pretending not to give a damn if you die is
an artful skill I learnt in India (but cannot
apply here in NZ).
Best moments? The train rides. Aside
from being ridiculously cheap, the seats
are convertible to bed bunks at night!
There was always something new to see,
and we never failed to interact with the
people who were so interested in why and
where we studied in India. My first ever
train ride was to Kerala, 36 hours from
home Ahmedabad. Our ticket was not
confirmed–I and my travel buddy had to
squeeze and fit in a sleeper bunk for the
night. When we went to see Taj Mahal, we
did not have a proper ticket again. We
were kicked out from the seats, and we
literally had to leave the compartment, run
on the platform, and jump into the next
vacant compartment. Then we spent three
hours sitting by the toilet until we found
the ticket master, whom we paid more to
get 1 seat for the two of us! On the way
back from Delhi, an old lady sat and slept
next to me the entire time–I had the proper
ticket, she did not.
India's overwhelming. It's no surprise that
some people hate it, while others love it.
I guess it grows on you. I wasn't a big fan
of Indian food before I went there and I
thought the driving, based on youtube
videos, was horrible. Now I miss Indian
food, particularly those sold by street
side vendors, and I never saw an accident
happen right before my eyes during my 6
month stay. It was an amazing experience!
I wasn’t scared–somehow I was able to
bring out lots of self confidence I never
knew I had (works well when travelling
at night, especially when trying to find a
hotel, bargaining, etc). Honestly, I'd be
more than glad to do it again.
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BY NATALIE WILCOX
Lost in TranslationTranslation
迷失在翻譯
BY NATALIE WILCOX
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THERE ARE OVER 6,500 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN THE WORLD TODAY, AND ENGLISH IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY PREVALENT AS A GLOBAL LANGUAGE STANDARD. MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE LEARNING ENGLISH IN SCHOOLS ALL OVER THE WORLD AND ADDING TO THE SWATH OF ACCENTS THAT CAN BE HEARD IN MOST INTERNATIONAL CITY HUBS. BEING AN INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE STUDENT AND A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER, I HEAR SOME PRETTY FUNNY THINGS FROM NON-NATIVE SPEAKERS.
BY NATALIE WILCOX
I am one of three Americans studying
here at Unitec, and other than the
other two Americans and a Canadian
girl, every one of the other 200+
exchange students that I have
encountered is speaking English as a
second language.
We all have euphemisms and adages
in our native languages that don’t
really translate into any other
language. For example: in English
we say things like, “spill the beans”
when we want someone to tell us
something, or when we introduce
ourselves to a new person we might
use an “ice-breaker” to start the
conversation. This is part of what
makes learning English so difficult;
because half of the things we say
are slang and don’t make a bit of
sense to someone who doesn’t speak
English primarily. Even I don’t know
where half of my English sayings
came from, so I’m sure that someone
from Germany, France, Finland, or
Austria wouldn’t have any idea either.
That being said, when someone
who doesn’t speak English as a first
language tries to speak English,
some funny stuff comes out. I’ve
heard a Finnish guy say, “I’ve got the shotgun!!” when calling dibs on
something; a French girl who was
convinced that a sheep was called a
“sheet” (which, in her accent, sounds
entirely like something else, if you
know what I mean), and then after
correcting her, she continued to say
“sheeps”; an Austrian person who
calls crêpes, “craps” and asked me
“what orange juice would like me”
when we were at the grocery store
deciding what kind to buy. I told him
that I wasn’t aware that orange juice
might have feelings like that. He was
confused.
And how do you describe to someone what the word “melt” means? Go ahead and try it.
I find myself in those kinds of
situations every day, and I enjoy it
so much. It makes me feel like an
absolute expert in my language,
and it’s definitely helped me to
understand my language more than I
did before, as cheesy as that sounds.
I think languages are incredibly
awesome and I feel really lucky to be
around so many of them all the time
here! It’s a great learning experience,
and always provides me with a laugh.
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A THAI GUIDE FROM A THAI GUY
KIWIS KNOW HEAPS ABOUT THAILAND …. OR DO THEY?
THAILAND IS NOT ONLY ABOUT CHICKEN & CASHEWS, TONY JAA, KOH SAMUI AND CHICKEN GREEN CURRY. I’D
LIKE TO SHARE THE UNKNOWN FACTS ABOUT THE LAND OF SMILES.
BY: PHUBETH UDOMSILP
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Takraw is a very popular sport in
Thailand and Southeast Asia and
it is similar to Volleyball.
Each side consists of three players
and like volleyball, three touches
are allowed for each playing turn,
but… players can only use their
feet and head! With the same
objective–the ball must make
contact with the opposition’s floor
court.
The ball is a similar size to a
coconut and made out of strips of
tropical canes (similar thickness
to a chopstick) – therefore it feels
bloody hard.
A very strong technique is the
bicycle kick which is borrowed
from football but used more often.
Thailand has the best Takraw
players/team in the world.
WAR ELEPHANTS REPRESENT!!!!
RICEY FACTS
•Jasmine has nothing to do with rice
itself but is called jasmine because
it smells like it and shares the same
whiteness.
•Jasmine rice found in North-east
of Thailand is the best and the most
delicious in the world – truly.
•Thai people use spoons [to eat]
with rice – didn’t see that coming
did ya!
FROM A THAI GUY
MUAY THAI is known as a violent,
effective and strong martial art but
the arts beyond the fight are quite
unexposed. Before a fight, the boxers do
a pre-fight ritual; a slow ground dance of
limb stretching in rhythm to the music.
The purpose of this is to warm-up but
ultimately to bow and pay respect to
their own master. Traditional music is
played beside the ring – they play during
the ritual and the fight itself. The music is
played faster when the round is nearly up.
Music is stopped during the breaks. The
purpose of this is to create a lively country
fight atmosphere.
A MALE FEMALE WAY?
…wait what do I say?
To clarify the greetings in Thai:
Males will permanently say Sawadee Kap
(hello/goodbye)
Korp kun kap (thank you) to anyone.
Whereas females will permanently say
Sawadee Ka (hello/goodbye).
Korp Kun Ka (thank you) also to anyone.
Both phrases are said at the same time as
bowing down shallowly (hands together, held
up finger tips close to the nose).
That’s all from me Pearns hope you learnt
something.
From your local Monsoon banana.
Oh wait did you know that official All Black
Jerseys are made in Thailand?
So Kia Kaha or soo thoo pi!
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ARE YOU THINKING OF STUDYING OVERSEAS? IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THERE ARE THREE COMMON CONCERNS SHARED BY STUDENTS: SOCIAL SUPPORT, FOOD AND LANGUAGE. IN THIS, I SHARE HOW I OVERCAME THESE CONCERNS WHEN I WENT TO FUKUHARAGAKUEN UNIVERSITY LAST YEAR AS PART OF THE ‘LIVING THE LANGUAGE’ PROGRAMME HELD HERE AT UNITEC.
Let’s be honest, food allergies are not a big
concern for me… thank goodness and I’ve
never questioned portion size before until
my host family took me out for lunch the
day after I arrived. In an attempt to help
my transition from New Zealand to Japan,
they took me to McDonalds. I wasn’t really
prepared mentally to read a ‘universal’
menu, let alone attempt to pronounce the
Japanese variation so I thought I’d just
stick with the usual. In a pathetic voice:
“Mama, BigguMakku o kudasai” (Big Mac
please?) Mama’s eyes widened, WTF gasp
as if to say… you want something that
big???? then in my mind “Guess I shouldn’t
ask for nuggets as well then?”
COOKIEIN
JAPANIn terms of language, Tomoko Sensei,
who teaches Japanese here is an amazing
teacher. Her unique style of teaching is
what makes learning Japanese hilarious
and easy. In one lesson, we learnt about
fruit and in particular strawberry… this is
her way to remember it:
If “Ichi” means one and “Go” is five, then
one and five is strawberry… *I beg your
bardon? Lucky for me, in Japan, they have
BY: RUTH MARSTERSRUTH MARSTERS: IS COMPLETING A BACHELOR OF COMMUNICATIONS DEGREE.
SEMESTER TWO OF 2011, SHE WENT TO FUKIOKA, JAPAN AS APART OF THE
LIVING THE LANGUAGE PROGRAMME OFFERED HERE AT UNITEC.
FOR MORE INFORMATION:WWW.UNITEC.AC.NZ
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JAPANelectronic dictionaries otherwise I would
have really been lost in translation (see
photo).
As for social support, I could not have
asked for a better host family than the
Nagano Family (my host family). They
were my home away from home, albeit
a smaller version than my own. On
Christmas Day, I phoned home (jeepers,
that sounds like ET) to NZ to say Merry
Xmas to everyone. When I got off the
phone, my host family said they could only
hear me saying “Merry Xmas, Merry Xmas,
Merry Xmas..” over and over again until I
explained to them I was actually speaking
to a different person each time.
Moral of the story, don’t eat strawberries
unless you can count!
BY: RUTH MARSTERSRUTH MARSTERS: IS COMPLETING A BACHELOR OF COMMUNICATIONS DEGREE.
SEMESTER TWO OF 2011, SHE WENT TO FUKIOKA, JAPAN AS APART OF THE
LIVING THE LANGUAGE PROGRAMME OFFERED HERE AT UNITEC.
FOR MORE INFORMATION:WWW.UNITEC.AC.NZ
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If you’re a smoker, you’ll know our
favourite man John Key isn’t, and he
is all for the changing of our cigarette
packaging. Why? I think it’s fair to say we
all agree on wanting to reduce the single
largest cause of preventable death in New
Zealand. The latest law is that our shops
are now not able to display cigarettes for
all to see; it is a great way of avoiding
sales, however, there is an argument that
cigarette packaging can still be a strong
marketing tool in the public eye. So the
next step is to completely change the way
our cigarette packaging looks. Australia is
doing it, so will New Zealand follow?
Associate Health Minister Tariana Turia
says “In April this year, I announced the
Government had agreed in principle
to adopt similar moves (to Australia)
in New Zealand, subject to this public
consultation. Today I am launching the
consultation.”
This is a consultation and not so much
a one sided agreement – yet! What
this consultation will do is allow the
government to gather views of interested
organisations, businesses, lobbyists; seek
more information; and set out the plan
appropriately.
“But we are committed to continuing a
careful and robust process to develop the
policy before we make final decisions,” Mrs
Turia said.
Turia says “The Government is serious
about reducing the enormous harm,
suffering, and loss of life that smoking
causes, and has set a goal for New Zealand
to be essentially smokefree by 2025.”
The Government’s views of smoking have
been in the media for a long time and it is
questioned whether this will be the start
of the end for a healthier, smokefree New
Zealand. So will this make a change on our
smokers? Will there be enough voices for
the plain packaging campaign? Personally,
I hope so, because there is nothing, and
there never will be anything, ‘cool’ about
smoking.
THE GOVERNMENT IS ALWAYS FULL OF IDEAS TO MAKE OUR COUNTRY A BETTER PLACE, SO MANY IDEAS IN FACT HALF OF THEM FALL THROUGH... BUT THIS ONE I THINK MAY JUST STAY AROUND FOR A BIT LONGER THAN SOME INTEND..
SMOKEFREE
NZBY: BRITNEY DYKE
usu
THEN BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS SECOND HAND, OR SELL THE ONES YOU NO LONGER NEED, AND GET SOME EXTRA CASH IN YOUR POCKET!
ENOUGH BILLS ON YOUR PLATE?
WWW.USU.CO.NZ/BUYSELLGO TO
usu
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usu
THEN BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS SECOND HAND, OR SELL THE ONES YOU NO LONGER NEED, AND GET SOME EXTRA CASH IN YOUR POCKET!
ENOUGH BILLS ON YOUR PLATE?
WWW.USU.CO.NZ/BUYSELLGO TO
usu
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VOXPOPS
AFTER YOU GRADUATE FROM UNITEC, WILL YOU WORK IN NZ OR ABROAD?
Isabella Brwon (Certificate in Animal Management Captive Wild Animals ) Oli & Micheal (Civil engineering )
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AFTER YOU GRADUATE FROM UNITEC, WILL YOU WORK IN NZ OR ABROAD?
Oli & Micheal (Civil engineering )
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VOXPOPS
AFTER YOU GRADUATE FROM UNITEC, WILL YOU WORK IN NZ OR ABROAD?
Kamalakau & Dhurv (Graduate Diploma in Business)
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AFTER YOU GRADUATE FROM UNITEC, WILL YOU WORK IN NZ OR ABROAD?
Roger Mattner (Graduate Diploma in Business)
He tino whakahirahirangā māmā o te ao whanui!
Te mea nui, he tiakitoū māmā, wahine hoki!
i ngā wa katoa.
Alongside completing a Bachelor of Communication Beej is a dedicated athlete and has recently been labelled the VIP ‘Poster Putter Upper’ for the USU Student Media Team.
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"Mum's Skin"A pillow to touchmarshmallow of soundas her voiceSo warming in my heartembraces with her smileHer eyes sweetened with loveThe smell of fry bread waffling through our whareMussel fritters completedthe marriage!Na Billie-Jean Peita (Beej)
Always remember the importance
of our mum’s and our women, cherish and look after them
always!
50
BY: BEEJ PEITA
Interested in teaching English? Planning a working holiday? Want to travel the world?The Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults (CELTA) is an internationally recognised and sought-after qualification.
We are offering an intensive four-week course from 12 November 2012 - 7 December 2012, Mondays to Fridays, 9am to 5pm.
Your learning will encompass practical teaching
skills and a basic understanding of the processes and techniques used in English language teaching.Previous teaching experience is not required.
Contact us now for more information0800 10 95 10 orwww.facebook.com/uniteclanguagestudies
» Freephone 0800 10 95 10 » www.unitec.ac.nz
"Mum's Skin"A pillow to touchmarshmallow of soundas her voiceSo warming in my heartembraces with her smileHer eyes sweetened with loveThe smell of fry bread waffling through our whareMussel fritters completedthe marriage!Na Billie-Jean Peita (Beej)
THE YEAR BOOK ISSUE COMING SOON!
THEN WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!DO YOU HAVE ANY EPIC STORIES OR PHOTOS THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO SHARE
FROM ANY ACTIVITIES OR EVENTS FROM UNITEC THIS YEAR?
SEND YOUR STORIES AND IMAGES TO: [email protected] OR DROP BY THE USU OFFICE, 180-1085 IN THE HUB.