sample eassy for ielts task 2

8/12/2019 Sample Eassy for ielts task 2

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IELTS writing sample essay 1















IELTS Essay, t pi!" # mp$ters instea% & tea!'ers

(ey, y $)re new 'ere* I l +e new pe ple, wel! me

- $ may want t s$.s!ri.e t IELTS/ l g an% get all t'e $p%ates +ia email r +ia SS&ee% T'an s & r +isiting*

s ! mp$ters are .eing $se% m re an% m re in e%$!ati n, t'ere will .e s n n r le & rtea!'ers in t'e !lassr m

T'ere is n % $.t t'at e%$!ati n an% t'e learning pr !ess 'as !'ange% sin!e t'eintr %$!ti n & ! mp$ters" T'e sear!' & r in& rmati n 'as .e! me easier an% am$sing,an% ! nne!ti+ity 'as e pe%ite% t'e %ata a+aila.ility T' $g' e perts systems 'a+e ma%e

! mp$ters m re intelligent, t'ey 'a+e n t yet .e! me a s$.stit$te & t'e '$manintera!ti n in t'e learning pr !ess In my pini n w'at !an .e e pe!te% is a !'ange &t'e tea!'ers r le, .$t n t t'eir %isappearan!e &r m t'e !lassr m

. %y !an arg$e t'at t'e a! $isiti n & n wle%ge is m re &$n an% easier wit'! mp$ters T'e mere a!ti+ity & t $!'ing an% e pl ring t'is %e+i!e ! nstit$tes an


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en ya.le tas & r a !'il% T'is, a!! mpanie% .y t'e rela ing attit$%e an% s &twareintera!ti+ity, $s$ally ! ntri.$tes t a .etter grasping & new n wle%ge t a 'ig'ere%$!ati nal le+el t'e a+aila.ility & %igital . s, sim$lat rs an% t'er a!a%emi!materials pr +i%e t'e st$%ent wit' an e+er a!!essi.le s $r!e & in& rmati n, t'at

t'erwise w $l% n t .e at 'an%

$t, .esi%es t'e in!reasing ! mple ity an% .e'a+i r & intelligent s &tware, w'i!' is$s$ally em.e%%e% in t'e a!a%emi! %igital material, t'e nee% & r '$man intera!ti n in t'elearning pr !ess will always .e present, at least in t'e & reseea.le &$t$re T'ere is t'e

ne!essity & r a '$man .eing t .e a.le t %etermine w'at t'e spe!i&i!s nee%s & ea!'in%i+i%$al are T'e e pertise & a tea!'er in ' w t e plain an% a%apt ! mple ! n!eptst %i&&erent in%i+i%$als !an 'ar%ly .e mimi! e% .y a ! mp$ter, n matter ' ws p'isti!ate% its s &tware is

s ! mp$ters are .e! ming a ! mm n t l & r tea!'ing, tea!'ers s' $l% .e m reaware & t'eir r le as g$i%es in t'e a! $isiti n & n wle%ge rat'er t'an transmitters &&a!ts T'ey 'a+e t .e pen min%e% t t'e !'anges t'at are ta ing pla!es, eep $p%ate%an% ser+e as pr .lem s l+ers in t'e learning pr !ess, t'$s all wing st$%ents t %is! +er

t'e &a!t & r t'emsel+es

T s$mmari e, in my pers nal +iew, tea!'ers play an% will ! ntin$e t play an imp rtantr le in t'e !lassr m, espe!ially at t'e primary le+el matter ' w ! mple ! mp$ters.e! me, t'ere will .e n repla!ement & r t'e '$man intera!ti n, .$t in t'e way 'aw t'isintera!ti n ta es pla!e

T'is is an e !ellent essay* re y $ a nati+e Englis' spea er: ;ell % ne T'e nlypr .lem is t'at t'is essay is t l ng, 365 w r%s instea% & 250/265 ma im$m

IELTS Essay, t pi!" E+ents .ringing pe ple t get'er


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< p$lar e+ents li e t'e = t.all ; rl% #$p an% t'er internati nal sp rting !!asi nsare essential in easing internati nal tensi n an% releasing patri ti! em ti ns in a sa&e

way

E+ery & $r years, t'e w' le w rl% st ps t wat!' internati nal sp rting e+ents s$!' ast'e >lympi!s an% t'e = t.all ; rl% #$p in w'i!' at'letes s' w t'eir .est per& rman!et ma e t'eir ! $ntry pr $% T'ese sp rting !!asi ns 'a+e pr +e% t .e 'elp&$l ineasing internati nal tensi n in %i&&i!$lt times w'en p wer&$l lea%ers were trying t ! ntr lt'e w rl% s e! n my an% t'er g +ernments were &ig'ting +er t'e lan%

T'e >lympi! ?ames are ne & t'e .est e amples w'i!' pr +e ' w sp rting e+ents !an.ring nati ns t get'er, at least temp rarily =r m t'e an!ient (ist ry, w'en ?ree s an%

mans w $l% interr$pt .attles t parti!ipate in t'e games, t t'e m re re!entinternati nal %isp$tes, w'en at'letes &r m


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! mpetiti n .rings &amilies an% neig'. rs t get'er an% e+en ri+al gangs wat!' t'egames an% !ele.rate pea!e&$lly

In ! n!l$si n, p p$lar sp rting e+ents play an imp rtant r le in %e!reasing internati naltensi ns an% li.erating patri ti! &eelings as 'ist ry 'as s' wn

T'is is a great essay, t'e i%eas, lang$age, str$!t$re & paragrap's an% senten!es, an%y $r grammar s' w a g % ! mman% & t'e Englis' lang$age In my pini n it is an%8 Beep $p t'e g % w r

IELTS Essay, t pi!" i!' ! $ntries s' $l% 'elp t'e p r



Impr +ements in 'ealt', e%$!ati n an% tra%e are essential & r t'e %e+el pment & p rernati ns ( we+er, t'e g +ernments & ri!'er nati ns s' $l% ta e m re resp nsi.ility & r'elping t'e p rer nati ns in s$!' areas

T %ay s w rl% 'as .een %i+i%e% int %e+el ping an% in%$strialise% ! $ntries w'i!' t'emain %i&&eren!e .etween t'em is t'e am $nt & m ney t'at g +ernments apply inimp rtant se!t rs s$!' as e%$!ati n, 'ealt' an% ! mmer!e @ st & t'e p rer nati nsare .$rie% in %e.ts as a res$lt & t'eir $n.alan!e% &inan!es w'i!' are re&le!t in a &aile%'ealt' !are, an $nstr$!t$re% e%$!ati n system an% a wea internati nal tra%e T'is+i!i $s !y!le will ! ntin$e in%e&initely $nless wealt'ier nati ns s' w interest inminimi ing t'e w rl%wi%e e! n mi! %i&&eren!es, as well as ta ing m re resp nsi.ility & rassisting less & rt$nate ! $ntries


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@ st & t'e &ri!an ! $ntries li+e in s$./'$man ! n%iti ns .e!a$se & t'e e tremep +erty, $p'ea+al, '$nger, %isease, $nempl yment, la! & e%$!ati n an% . t'ine perien!e% an% ! rr$pt a%ministrati ns T'e %e+astating ! nse $en!es & t'e ICSepi%emi! in t' se ! $ntries ! $l% impr +e i& t'e in&e!te% p p$lati n were t re!ei+e &ree%r$gs t ! ntr l t'e %isease, 'a+e a!!ess t 'ealt' pr &essi nals an% get in& rmati n n' w t pre+ent its sprea% $t t'is !an nly .e a!'ie+e% t'r $g' internati nal 'elppr grams in w'i!' lea%ers & t'e w rl% s ri!'est ! $ntries % nate me%i!ine an% alssen% % !t rs an% n$rses t treat an% e%$!ate t' se in nee%

@ re +er, m st & t'e p r ! $ntries rely n selling agri!$lt$ral pr %$!ts an% rawmaterials t ri!' nati ns an% .$ying in%$striali e% pr %$!ts &r m t'em res$lting in a '$ge&inan!ial %e&i!it # nse $ently, t'ey . rr w a signi&i!ant am $nt & m ney &r m t'e; rl% an t try t impr +e t'eir .r en e! n mies, .$t s metimes t'e m ney%isappears wit' n signi&i!ant !'anges an% t'ey !ann t e+en pay t'e interest t t'e.an egar%ing t'is iss$e, last year t'e ?8, w'i!' is ! mprise% & lea%ers & t'e eig'tri!'est nati ns, %e!i%e% t & rgi+e .illi ns & % llars w rt' & %e.t we% .y t'e w rl% sp rest nati ns In a%%iti n, t'ey %e+el pe% a%e $ate l an pr grams t &inan!ially assistt' se ! $ntries

In ! n!l$si n, lea%ers & t'e in%$strialise% ! $ntries play an in%ispensa.le r le inassisting %e+el ping nati ns in %ealing wit' essential areas s$!' as 'ealt', e%$!ati nan% tra%e ls , t'eir ai% is t'e ey t .rea ing t'e +i!i $s !y!le, w'i!' res$lts in p +ertyan% %eat'

T'is is a great essay, seems t .e n a an% 8 le+el, t'ere s n t'ing t impr +e 'ere

IELTS Essay, t pi!" # mp$ters repla!ing tea!'ers


- $ may want t s$.s!ri.e t IELTS/ l g an% get all t'e $p%ates +ia email r +ia SS


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In ! n!l$si n, t'e r le & r tea!'ers in t'e learning pr !ess is still +ery imp rtant an% it will ! ntin$e t .e s$!' in t'e &$t$re .e!a$se n ma!'ine !an repla!e t'e '$manintera!ti n an% its ! nse $en!es

T'is is a great essay Seems w rt'y & an% 8 impr +ements are ne!essary, eep$p t'e g % w r *

IELTS Essay, t pi!" =inan!ial e%$!ati n



=inan!ial e%$!ati n s' $l% .e a man%at ry ! mp nent & t'e s!' l pr gram T w'ate tent % y $ agree r %isagree wit' t'is statement:

It is an .+i $s &a!t t'at &inan!ial aspe!ts are a ma r part & t'e %aily li&e, as an a%$ltan% e+en as a y $ng in%i+i%$al Ea!' an% e+ery ne & $s 'as t ma e &inan!ial%e!isi ns ! n!erning re!reati n, 'ealt', e%$!ati n an% m re T'e $esti n is w'et'er tstart wit' &inan!ial e%$!ati n as part & s!' l pr gram r t p stp ne it & r a later stagein li&e

T .egin wit', .eing a.le t $n%erstan% t'e +al$e & m ney, t'e way t'e e! n mi!system w r s an% t interpret &inan!ial news an% its impli!ati ns is a +irt$e ;it' $t t'is+irt$e, an in%i+i%$al, e+en a y $ng ne, mig't s$&&er t s me e tent = r an e ample, a!'il% w' % esn t $n%erstan% t'e ! n!ept & m ney mig't &in% it m re %i&&i!$lt t e !ept!' sing nly ne present $t & m re p ssi.le nes

In a%%iti n, many a%$lts are la! ing !apa.ility & &inan!ial analysis D$ite &ten, t'ereas n !an .e t'e la! & s $n% & $n%ati ns r inse!$rity w'en it ! mes t &inan!ial


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terms an% ! n!epts Starting &r m an early age, .$il%ing a str ng .a! gr $n%, !an +eryli ely pre+ent s$!' sit$ati n

( we+er, &inan!ial e%$!ati n ne!essarily in+ l+es $anti&ying an% setting pri!es an%+al$e & r ser+i!es an% g %s It !an easily t$rn y $ng pe ple int !yni!al '$man .eings

w' la! em ti n =$rt'erm re, a ten%en!y t sel&/! n!entrati n an% eg ism mig't rise w'en ne start meas$ring e+eryt'ing &r m a pr &it/ma ing perspe!ti+e

In ! n!l$si n, &inan!ial e%$!ati n 'as . t' pr s an% ! ns In my pini n, t'e a%+antages

are m re signi&i!ant t'an t'e %isa%+antages, ma ing &inan!ial e%$!ati n an a%+isa.le! mp nent & t'e s!' l pr gram T'e %isa%+antages s' $l% .e t' $g't & as a !ertainpri!e t'at y $ng pe ple 'a+e t pay %$e t t'e !'ara!teristi!s & t'e w rl% t'at we li+ein

T'is is a w n%er&$l essay It ! +ers t'e tas , is ! rre!tly str$!t$re%, t'e paragrap's arel gi!ally ! nne!te%, t'e str$!t$re & senten!es s' ws e !ellent ! mman% & t'e Englis'lang$age T'e + !a.$lary is &ine an% . t' spelling an% grammar are +ery g % See! mments $n%erline% in .l$e & r s me min r ! rre!ti ns >+erall, l s li e a an% 7 5

an% 8 essay

IELTS Essay, t pi!" T'e a%+antages an% %isa%+antages & gl .ali ati n



E+en t' $g' gl .ali ati n a&&e!ts t'e w rl% s e! n mies in a +ery p siti+e way, its


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negati+e si%e s' $l% n t .e & rg tten Cis!$ss

?l .ali ati n is s$!' a ! mm nly $se% term in t'e twentiet' !ent$ry It simply meanst'at t'e w rl% 'as .e! me integrate% e! n mi!ally, s !ially, p liti!ally an% !$lt$rallyt'r $g' t'e a%+an!es & te!'n l gy, transp rtati n an% ! mm$ni!ati n It is $n%enia.let'at gl .ali ati n 'as res$lte% in . t' p siti+e an% negati+e e&&e!ts w'i!' m$st .ea%%resse% a!! r%ingly

T .egin wit', gl .ali ati n 'as ! ntri.$te% t t'e w rl% s e! n mies in many .ene&i!ial ways T'e a%+an!es in s!ien!e an% te!'n l gy 'a+e all we% .$sinesses t easily !r ss

+er territ rial . $n%ary lines # nse $ently, ! mpanies ten% t .e! me m repr %$!ti+e an% ! mpetiti+e t'ere.y raising t'e $ality & g %s, ser+i!es an% t'e w rl% sli+ing stan%ar%

Se! n%ly, se+eral ! mpanies &r m t'e m re %e+el pe% ! $ntries 'a+e alrea%y +ent$re%t esta.lis' & reign perati ns r .ran!'es t ta e a%+antage & t'e l w ! st & la. r int'e p rer ! $ntries T'is in% & .$siness a!ti+ity will pr +i%e m re in&l$ & !as' rin+estment &$n%s int t'e less %e+el pe% ! $ntries

( we+er, ne !ann t %eny t'e negati+e e&&e!ts w'i!' 'a+e %eri+e% &r m gl .ali ati n>ne !r$!ial s !ial aspe!t is t'e ris an% %anger & epi%emi! %iseases w'i!' !an easily.e sprea% as t'e transp rtati n .e! mes easier an% &aster in t %ay s a%+an!e% s !ietyT'is is e+i%en!e% in t'e re!ent .ir%s &l$ %isease w'i!' 'as in&e!te% m st sian ! $ntries

+er a s' rt peri % & time

s large ! rp rati ns in+est r ta e +er many &&s' re .$sinesses, a m %ern & rm &

! l ni ati n will als e+ l+e w'i!' may p se !ertain p wer press$re n t'e l !alg +ernments & t'e less %e+el pe% ! $ntries nempl yment rates in t'e m re%e+el pe% regi ns s$!' as E$r pe may als es!alate as ! rp rati ns !' se t

$ts $r!e t t'e !'eaper w r & r!e &r m sian ! $ntries

In ! n!l$si n I li e t reiterate t'at gl .ali ati n is ine+ita.le an% we m$st $rge


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in%i+i%$als, ! mpanies an% g +ernments t $se a m re .alan!e% appr a!' .y ta ing t'eappr priate steps t %eal wit' matters relating t t'e &inan!ial r e! n mi!al gains+erses t'e s !ial, p liti!al r e! l gi!al ! n!erns & t'e w rl%

T'is essay is t l ng, 318 w r%s instea% & 250/265 >t'erwise Fe !ept & r s me min rgrammati!al err rsG it is a +ery ni!e w r It ! +ers t'e tas , 'as t'e rig't str$!t$re, t'eparagrap's are ! 'erent an% are l gi!ally ! nne!te% .y elegantly $se% lin ing w r%s,t'e str$!t$re & senten!es is &ine an% s is y $r + !a.$lary Seems w rt'y & an% 7 5

r 8

IELTS Essay, t pi!" !'il%ren an% r$les



In s me ! $ntries !'il%ren 'a+e +ery stri!t r$les & .e'a+i r, in t'er ! $ntries t'ey areall we% t % alm st anyt'ing t'ey li e T w'at e tent s' $l% !'il%ren 'a+e t & ll wr$les:

T'e e tent t w'i!' !'il%ren 'a+e t & ll w r$les is in itsel& a +ery ! mple iss$e, sin!e!'il%ren a!r ss t'e w rl% gr w $p in +ery %i&&erent !$lt$res In In%ia & r e ample, !'il%renare e pe!te% t .e +ery s$.missi+e t t'eir parents as well as t'er a%$lts ar $n% t'emT'is, ' we+er, is n t t'e !ase wit' t'e ;estern ! $ntries & t'e w rl% w'ere !'il%ren& ll w t'e m tt HT' $ s'alt % w'at t' $ wilt as pr m te% .y !ele.rities an% r ! stars

I .elie+e t'at & ll wing stri!t r$les 'as . t' a%+antages as well as seri $s %raw.a! s as%is!$sse% .el w

=irstly, stri!t r$les & .e'a+i r !reate resp nsi.le an% respe!t&$l !'il%ren w' in t$rnmat$re int respe!t&$l a%$lts T'is & rms a sta.le s !iety w'i!' is +irt$ally &ree &r mnegati+e tren%s s$!' as pr stit$ti n an% %r$g a.$se Se! n%ly, i& !'il%ren % n t & ll w


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stri!t r$les & .e'a+i r, t'ey may get $t & 'an% an% .e! me w r /s'y an% in% lentT'is may t'en !reate a .$r%en n t'e s !iety sin!e t'e g +ernment 'as t &in% ways t!ater & r t'ese s !ial ills

( we+er, & r!ing !'il%ren t & ll w stri!t r$les & .e'a+i r % esn t always yiel% p siti+eres$lts as %is!$sse% a. +e, m st & t'e time it .a! &ires an% w r s against s !iety = re ample, teenagers are m re li ely t % t'e pp site & w'at t'ey re t l% t % simply.e!a$se t'ey want t .e in%epen%ent #'il%ren s' $l% als 'a+e rig'ts t e er!ise t'eir&ree will an% %e+el p t'eir wn pattern & .e'a+i rs Imp sing stri!t r$les may simply%estr y t'e in%i+i%$ality & !'il%ren

t t'e en% & t'e %ay, it is !lear t'at !'il%ren s' $l% .e g$i%e% .y r$les, .$t t'ese r$less' $l% n t .e imp se% n t'em .e!a$se as '$man .eings, t'ey nee% t 'a+e r m t%e+el p t'eir wn traits & !'ara!ter an% a% pt a .e'a+i ral pattern & t'eir wn

T'is essay is t l ng F309 w r%s instea% & a%+ise% 250/265G >t'erwise t'is w r is a+ery g % neA it ! +ers t'e tas , y $r p siti n is !lear, t'e i%eas are well/ rgani e%,e presse%, e plaine% an% s$pp rte% T'e senten!es s' w a wi%e range & lang$age

str$!t$res, ! 'esi+e %e+i!es an% y $r grammar is &ine >+erall, t'is seems t .e a .an%7 5 r 'ig'er essay

IELTS Essay, t pi!" t'e p siti+e an% t'e negati+e si%es & gl .ali ati n

E+en t' $g' gl .ali ati n a&&e!ts t'e w rl% s e! n mies in a p siti+e way, its negati+e

si%e s' $l% n t .e & rg tten Cis!$ss

In t'e present age, gl .ali ati n is playing an in!reasingly imp rtant r le in $r li+es $tin t'e meantime w'et'er it is a .lessing r a !$rse 'as spar e% a 'eate% %e.ate S mepe ple arg$e t'at gl .ali ati n 'as a &$n%amentally .ene&i!ial in&l$en!e n $r li+es,

w'ile many t'ers ! nten% t'at it 'as a %etrimental e&&e!t as well


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S me pe ple t'in t'at spen%ing a l t n ' l%ing we%%ing parties, .irt'%ay parties an%t'er !ele.rati ns is $st a waste & m ney >t'ers, ' we+er, t'in t'at t'ese are

ne!essary & r in%i+i%$als an% t'e s !iety Cis!$ss . t' +iews an% gi+e y $r pini n

T'r wing parties !an .e e pensi+e ;'ile s me pe ple % n t &in% t'ese &an!y parties w rt' w'at t'ey ! st, t'ers .elie+e parties are imp rtant t . t' in%i+i%$als an% t'es !iety


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! mpanies ! $l% sen% $t gi&ts a&ter s$!!ess&$l pr e!ts an% parents ! $l% ta e t'eir!'il%ren n &amily trips t !ele.rate .irt'%ays

In my pini n, w'ile a party is a & rm & s !ial e+ent t'at .rings many .ene&its tin%i+i%$als an% t'e s !iety, t'er !' i!es s' $l% als .e ! nsi%ere%, eit'er t !$tspen%ing r t relie+e t'e stress & t' se w' are n t & n% & parties

T'is is a +ery g % essay >t'er t'an min r ina!!$ra!ies t'ere are n pr .lems Fm $se+er t'e w r%s $n%erline% in .l$e s' ws ! rre!ti nsG Seems t .e w rt' IELTS an% 8

IELTS essay, t pi!" #'il%ren s' $l% .e engage% in pai% w r , agree r %isagree:



In many ! $ntries !'il%ren are engage% in %i&&erent in%s & pai% w r S me pe pleregar% t'is as ! mpletely wr ng, w'ile t'ers ! nsi%er it a +al$a.le w r e perien!e,imp rtant & r learning an% ta ing resp nsi.ility ;'at is y $r pini n:

T'e iss$e & w'et'er r n t !'il%ren s' $l% .e engage% in s me pai% w r 'as spar e%a 'eate% %e.ate ;'ile s me arg$e t'at 'a+ing s me empl yment e perien!e is! n%$!i+e t a !'il% s learning an% %e+el pment, I ! nten% t'at it w $l% .ring 'arm tt'e !'il% s 'eat' an% learning

=irst & all, a w r pla!e %esigne% & r a%$lts is n rmally s' rtage & !'il%/&rien%ly&a!ilities Ces s an% !'airs are t 'ig' & r a !'il%A t'e lig't swit!'es are installe% n t'e

walls $nrea!'a.le .y !'il%renA als emergen!y training an% &a!ilities s$!' as p' nes arenly pr +i%e% t a%$lts =$rt'erm re, +ari $s 'a ar%s s$!' as p ll$te% air an% !'emi!al

&$mes are still pr %$!e% in &a!t ries an% &arms n% $.te%ly y $ng pe ple w $l% s$&&er


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in s$!' w r pla!es

ls , !'il%ren w $l% &in% it &r$strating w'en t'ey are n t pr perly in%$!te% .e& re startinga . !'il% w r ing in a !ement &a!t ry w $l% &eel a set.a! w'en 'e ! $l% n t getimme%iate s$pp rt w'ile str$ggling wit' t'e pr !e%$res & re! r%ing %i&&erent rawmaterials t'at is re $ire% .y t'e . =$rt'er, wit' $t s$&&i!ient s$pp rt, a !'il% smis$n%erstan%ing r inappr priately ! mm$ni!ating wit' a%$lts w $l% nly %isapp int'im an% pre+ents 'im &r m a!ti+e learning an% intera!ting wit' t'er pe ple

T ! n!l$%e, a !'il% s pai% empl yment e perien!e w $l% lea% t a negati+e impa!t nt'eir 'ealt' an% a!ti+e learning ( we+er, re! gni ing t'e imp rtan!e & !'il%ren slearning an% t'eir awareness & resp nsi.ility, it is a%+isa.le t en! $rage t'em t .ein+ l+e% in s me + l$nteering pp rt$nities w'ere t'ey !an meaning&$lly learn an%intera!t wit' t'er pe ple wit' s$&&i!ient !are an% s$pp rt in pla!e & r s$!' .s

T'is is a g % essay T'ere are nly a &ew err rs Fm $se +er t'e w r%s $n%erline% in.l$e s' ws ! rre!ti nsG, .$t t'erwise t'is w r seems w rt'y & an% 7 5 r 8

emem.er t always pr &rea% y $r essay .e& re s$.mitting it Beep $p t'e g % w r *

IELTS essay, t pi!"


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T'is is a g % essay T'ere are nly a &ew err rs in%i!ating t'at t'e writer nee%s t ta e!are wit' +er.s, prep siti ns an% senten!e & rmati n Fm $se +er t'e w r%s $n%erline%in .l$e s' ws ! rre!ti nsG >+erall, t'is w r seems w rt'y & IELTS an% 8

emem.er t always pr &rea% y $r essay .e& re s$.mitting it Beep $p t'e g % w r *

IELTS essay, t pi!" #'il%ren t'ese %ays are s$&&ering &r m .esity, w'y an% ' w !an it.e s l+e%:



@ %ern !'il%ren are s$&&ering &r m t'e %iseases t'at were n!e ! nsi%ere% t .e meant& r a%$lts nly >.esity is a ma r %isease pre+alent am ng !'il%ren ;'at are its!a$ses an% w'at s l$ti ns !an .e &&ere%:

wa%ays, t'e in!reasing rate & +erweig't !'il%ren an% a%$lts is a w rl%wi%e 'ealt'iss$e >.esity is a ma r pr .lem w'i!' is in!reasing %ay .y %ay in s!' l g ing!'il%ren T'ere are +ari $s reas ns .e'in% it T'is essay will %is!$ss t'e !a$ses &

.esity an% &&er s me s l$ti ns

T'e &irst !a$se & .esity is $n & % It is &ten seen t'at m stly !'il%ren are & n% &.$rgers, pi as, n %les an% ! e T'ese types & & %s are easily a+aila.le t t'em ins!' l !anteens #'il%ren l +e t p$r!'ase !'ips, !' !' lates, / i!e/!ream & r l$n!'

@ re +er, in t'is m %ern era, parents are w r ing an% t'ey % n t 'a+e time t ! at' me


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S me pe ple ! nten% t'at mi e% a.ility !lasses are m re .ene&i!ial & r !'il%ren s%e+el pment t'an streaming t'em n t'e .asis & $%gement a. $t t'eir a!a%emi!a.ilities ( we+er, &r m my perspe!ti+e, I %isagree wit' t'is ! ntenti n

%mitte%ly, mi e% a.ility !lasses pr +i%e a .etter en+ir nment & r !'il%ren s all/r $n%%e+el pment In s$!' !lasses, !'il%ren wit' %i&&erent a.ilities st$%y t get'er an% in t$rnt'ey !an learn &r m ne an t'er =r m e ample, a st$%ent, w' is g % at a!a%emi!st$%y .$t wea in %an!ing r painting, !an learn ' w t %an!e r paint & rm 'is peers Int'is sense, mi e% a.ility !lasses all w st$%ents t %e+el p t'eir a.ilities in %i&&erents$. e!ts instea% & nly a!a%emi! a.ilities

Cespite t'e arg$ment a. +e, I .elie+e streaming st$%ents .rings m re .ene&its ttea!'ers an% st$%ents s & r tea!'ers, separating !'il%ren wit' .etter a!a%emi! a.ilities&r m t'ers &a!ilitates e&&e!ti+e tea!'ing T'is pra!ti!e 'elps tea!'ers t ! ntr l t'eirst$%ents m re ! n+eniently an% easily # mpare% wit' mi e% a.ility in w'i!' tea!'ers' $l% ! nsi%er st$%ents %i&&eren!es w'en t'ey are $sing tea!'ing met' % l gies,

streaming ma es t'is sit$ati n simpler T .e m re spe!i&i!, st$%ents are at t'e samele+el & a!a%emi! a.ility in a !lass, an% in t$rn tea!'ers !an $se t'e samemet' % l gies & r t'em all In t'is way, t'e narr wer t'e sprea% & a.ility in t'e !lass,t'e m re ! n+enient t'e tea!'ing !an .e

>n t p & t'is, steaming ena.les st$%ents t learn in an e&&e!ti+e way !! r%ing tst$%ents %i&&erent a.ilities, t'ey are ta$g't in %i&&erent ways t'at are m re s$ita.le & rt'em In t'e t p streams, st$%ents $se m re %i&&i!$lt materials, t'ere& re, t'ey !an learnm re In s'arp ! ntrast, tea!'ers !an e plain t'e material m re sl wly t t' se in

. tt m streams n%er t'is !ir!$mstan!e, st$%ents wit' %i&&erent a!a%emi! a.ilities !anst$%y e&&e!ti+ely an% e&&i!iently

In t'e &inal analysis, mi e% a.ility !lasses are .ene&i!ial & r st$%ents +ersatile%e+el pment, .$t in my pini n, segregating st$%ents .ase% n %i&&erent a!a%emi!a.ility is .etter & r . t' tea!'ers an% st$%ents


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T'e writer presente% a .alan!e% %is!$ssi n & t'e t pi!, e&& rtlessly %eli+ere% in a & rm& a &l$ent, well/written IELTS essay T'e arg$ments an% reas ning are lai% $t in a

! 'erent, l gi!al way wi%e range & + !a.$lary is $se% in t'is w r T'ere are +ery

&ew spelling err rs t'at ! $l% 'a+e .een !a$g't in an a%%iti nal r $n% & pr &rea%ingFm $se +er t'e w r%s $n%erline% in .l$e s' ws ! rre!ti nsG Beep $p t'e g % w r *>+erall, t'is essay seems w rt'y & IELTS an% 8

IELTS essay, t pi!" ;'y % !riminals ! mmit an t'er &&en!e a&ter .eing p$nis'e%:

@any &&en%ers ! mmit m re !rimes a&ter ser+ing t'e &irst p$nis'ment ;'y is t'is'appening, an% w'at meas$res !an .e ta en t ta! le t'is pr .lem:

It is tr$e t'at s me !riminals ! mmit !rimes again a&ter t'ey 'a+e .een p$nis'e% ;'ilet'ere are se+eral reas ns & r t'is alarming tren%, s me e&&e!ti+e meas$res !an .e ta en.y g +ernments t ta! le t'is pr .lem

T'ere are tw main reas ns & r re/ &&en%ers =irstly, t'e pris n system !an ma e t'esit$ati n w rse #riminals p$t t get'er in pris n an% t'ey ma e &rien%s wit' t'er

&&en%ers ;'ile t'ey are l ! e% $p in pris n, t'ey % n t 'a+e m$!' t % t'ere, an%t'ey w $l% e !'ange in& rmati n a. $t w'at t'ey 'a+e % ne .e& re t'ey !ame t t'epris n r t'ey may plan !rimes wit' t'er inmates Se! n%ly, &&en%ers &ten % n t'a+e any t'er means & earning m ney T'ey are p r, $ne%$!ate% an% la! ing s illsnee%e% t maintain a . ls , a !riminal re! r% ma es &in%ing a . %i&&i!$lt as pe ple$s$ally a+ i% 'iring e /! n+i!t

T s l+e t'is pr .lem, g +ernments s' $l% & !$s n re'a.ilitati n & !riminals rat'ert'an p$nis'ment . +e all, pris ns nee% + !ati nal training w'i!' ma es inmates t


21/22

prepare & r li&e $tsi%e t'e pris n T'ey !an learn pra!ti!al s ills s$!' as ! mp$terpr gramming, !ar maintenan!e an% grap'i! %esign In t'is way, t'ey !an .e 'ire% & r ap siti n t'at re $ires t'is !ertain n wle%ge an% s ills # mm$nity ser+i!e is an t'er

way t re& rm &&en%ers at'er t'an .eing l ! e% $p in pris n wit' t'er inmates,&&en%ers !an 'elp s !iety an% .e! me $se&$l t t'eir l !al ! mm$nity, an% t'ese

a!ti+ities w $l% eliminate t'e negati+e in&l$en!e t'at pris ns !an 'a+e

In ! n!l$si n, it is tr$e t'e re/ &&en%ers are ne & t'e pr .lems in $r ! mm$nityA it !an.e s l+e% .y & !$sing re'a.ilitati n rat'er t'an p$nis'ment itsel&

T'is is a g % essay T'e re $irements & t'e tas statement are ! +ere%, t'e reas ning

is l gi!al an% presente% in a ! 'erent, easy t & ll w way, t'e range & + !a.$lary is wi%e en $g' an% t'e writer s' ws &l$en!y an% &le i.ility S me min r err rs in t'is essayin!l$%e w r% !' i!e an% prep siti n err rs Fm $se +er t'e w r%s $n%erline% in .l$es' ws s$ggeste% ! rre!ti nsG >+erall t'is l s li e an IELTS an% 8 essay

IELTS essay, t pi!" t'e %e+el pment & te!'n l gy !a$ses tra%iti nal s ills t %ie $t,agree r %isagree:



;'en a ! $ntry %e+el ps its te!'n l gy, t'e tra%iti nal s ills an% ways & li&e %ie $t It isp intless t try an% eep t'em ali+e T w'at e tent % y $ agree r %isagree wit' t'is

pini n:

wa%ays, te!'n l gi!al a%+an!es an% t'eir rapi% an% wi%e appli!ati ns are 'a+ing asigni&i!ant impa!t n a nati n s tra%iti nal s ills an% ways & li&e S me arg$e t'at s$!'


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impa!t is s e tra r%inary t'at it w $l% ma e ! n+enti nal s ills an% li&e styles .s lete( we+er, I .elie+e t'ey w $l% ! ntin$e t t'ri+e .y pr +i%ing alternati+es t m %ern

ways & li&e, an% inn +ati+e i%eas & r m %ern te!'n l gies

=irst & all, tra%iti nal s ills an% ways & li&e are .e! ming an alternati+e s l$ti n t t'epr .lems !a$se% .y Kmainstreame% ways & li&e w'i!' are greatly in&l$en!e% .y m %ernte!'n l gies = r instan!e, a ! y resta$rant w'ere tra%iti nal, ' me/.rewe% .eer isser+e%, &&ers an t'er e perien!e t pe ple w' are . re% wit' .ran%e% .eers t'at 'a+et'e same &la+ r an% ! me $t & mass pr %$!ti n wit' new te!'n l gies It is in s$!' a+en$e w'ere tra%iti nal s ills are preser+e%, pe ple .e! me rela e% an% e%$!ate%

sample eassy for ielts task 2

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