sample copy. not for distribution. · author, shubham saini, is a civil engineer by profession and...

Sample Copy. Not For Distribution.

i

My Half Notebook


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Publishing-in-support-of,

EDUCREATION PUBLISHING

RZ 94, Sector - 6, Dwarka, New Delhi - 110075

Shubham Vihar, Mangla, Bilaspur, Chhattisgarh - 495001

Website: www.educreation.in __________________________________________________

© Copyright, Author

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, magnetic, optical, chemical, manual, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent of its writer.

ISBN: 978-1-61813-511-7

Price: ` 190.00

The opinions/ contents expressed in this book are solely of the author and do not represent the opinions/ standings/ thoughts of Educreation.

Printed in India


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My Half Notebook

Because Certain Bonds Can't Be Broken For Ages

Shubham Saini

EDUCREATION PUBLISHING (Since 2011)

www.educreation.in


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v

About The Author

X

Author, Shubham Saini, is a civil

engineer by profession and has

been working in a reputed Real

Estate company. “My half

Notebook” is his debut novel

and a first step into the world of

writing. He was born on 26th

December in Karnal, a small city of Haryana. He

likes to spend his free time strumming his fingers

on guitar and writing songs as well. He is a die-hard

fan of English songs and WWE fights.

W


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Acknowledgments

X I am indebted to the following people for their

support, also I want to thank all my dearest

criticizers. The more they criticize me, the more

they make me firm toward writing. Both positive

and negative mouths have helped me to complete

my book.

No matter who you are, no matter what people

tell you or talking behind your back. Remember,

your words and ideas can make a difference. Do not

give people chance to criticize you, because no one

can make you feel trivial without your assent.

Finally, I would like to express my gratitude to

EDUCREATION PUBLICATION entire team, for

tolerating me and providing answers of all my lame

queries to me.

W


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ix

Prologue

X What is LOVE – a question, an answer or a puzzle?

When we place a question mark after it - LOVE? -

it, itself, becomes a question with millions of

answer. But if you put a full stop after it - LOVE. -

it, itself, becomes a one-word answer.

We all have different definitions of love. For

someone, love is living together with loved ones;

for few, it is a loving union of two souls, whereas

for others, love is to be separated from each other.

There are many variations in the definition of love.

Do we believe in love? Or it happens

automatically? But certain bonds cannot be broken

for ages.

Once, I heard from someone, „When two souls

were destined to meet, the entire universe will find

the way to unite them.‟

One evening, I shuffled my desk and picked up

a diary. Many times, I had read those three pages of

that diary. It was my diary, perhaps it was my story,

in three pages only, „Or maybe it was not‟. But I

decided to complete that story. But this time, there

were not only three pages, but more.


x

I relived the past moments again. „Bringing

them back to my life, soon I realized that there were

some moments, I wish, I could trash them forever or

could throw all the sadness away. But I felt that if I

do so, even the happiness would be trashed as well.

There was a sickness rolling through my body.

I used to feel as if my days were spent like an old

sick man. Time, unfortunately, isn‟t enough to live

on the course….So here I go.

My life isn‟t easy to explain. I am a normal

person, with common thoughts, and have led a

common life throughout. I have not procured any

big achievement yet. It doesn‟t matter, though I

know my beginning is with slower pace, but even

the tortoise can complete the race.

Stranger becomes friends and I wasn‟t far

behind to be added in that list. Hope is the mother

of all desires, I suppose.

It is November, I clearly felt the coolness in the

air. The green leaves of trees were turning yellow

now, and some in red and orange. „All colors were

glowing with the sun‟. It was astonishing for me.

„I remembered hazy blur,‟ That morning, I

woke up with discomfort and pause, when I stared

at the clock, it showed 5 a.m. I felt like going for

morning walk. I speedily rubbed my hands together

and blown hot air through my mouth to keep them

warm. I wore my wrinkled shirt, which I left on my

bed last night, a heavy pent, wrapped a scarf around

my neck and a velvet jacket was zipped half. It was

medium dark before the dawn. Some of the street

lights were on, and some were blinking due to

technical fault.


xi

Weather was gloomy outside. Due to heavy

fog, the atmosphere seemed pretty white „Like an

angel came down in the beautiful white gown‟. The

rising sun was making the mist brightened, and the

branches of the tree were afraid of the cold air. I

giggled, branches suffered with Cheimaphobia.

Suddenly, I waved my hand toward the sky,

when I saw an air jet flying, I behaved like a kid.

This gesture of mine made me recall my childhood

days when I used to do the same. I was happy for no

reason.

Suddenly, my eyes caught a glimpse of a

charming face. Her eyes were light brown. I shall

never forget that face. It was an instant attraction.

So, It was I - Shabby - a 21-year old. Accidentally, I

became an author.

“Kuch manzilay chal chuka hun

Manzilon ki talaash mein

Main manzilon se hi puchta hun

Manzilon ka rasta”

- Anonymous

W


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My Half Notebook

1

June 2014

X I still remember some semblance of college days,

„It was same morning every day, nothing had

changed. I was sleeping on my cozy bed.

In the morning at 6 o‟clock, a voice rang into

my ears – “Subha ho gayi maammu”. It was the

sound of the alarm and also my morning song.

Behind the sound of the alarm, I heard a medium-

soft voice echoing in my ears. That was the voice of

my mother.

Wake up Shabby! How lazy you are? How long

the alarm will be buzzing. Today is your last exam,

do some revision. But I did not feel like getting up

from sleep. I yawned and stared at the wall clock, it

showed 6:20. My mom would not stop, until I got

up from my bed. It was her daily routine.

That morning had a strange appeal. It was my

last day of college. As of today, something will be

lost. There was an unsystematic sense. I knew well

that those beautiful moments of college will no

longer be experienced. I close my eyes and began to

think about my last few years. Why I grew up? I

wanted to remain in the past. But my reflection in


Shubham Saini

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the glass of the clock, made me aware that someone

else‟ eyes have watched me growing younger. It‟s

mine itself.

Mumma! I am going. Where are you? I am

getting late, Will you not bless me?

I‟m coming. I‟m coming. She brought Dahi-

shakar for me as blessing. It‟s like a custom, before

going for any important work Dahi-shakar is

provided as a blessing. Dahi-shaker! Yummy, my

mouth was watering.

Mom said in calm voice, „Give good exam‟. I,

sincerely, wanted to thank that person who started

this tasty custom.

„Don‟t make any hasty, while writing the

paper‟, mom said.

I replied in haste, „Yeah! Yeah mom, now

bye…‟

„Raam Raam, Chacha! how are you?‟, I said.

„Raam Raam! Raam Raam‟, in an old voice.

Chacha had a sweet shop just near my house.

His behavior was sweeter than his own sweets.

„Chacha! Today is my last exam and also the

last day of my college,‟ I said with confidence.

Chacha responded, „Good luck. And if you did

not have good result, I will not even lend you a

samosa next time.‟ He grinned.

The people, who were standing around, also

started to giggle. It was little embarrassing for me.

But I know Chacha was always in the mood of

cracking jokes. So I did not mind.

When I reached to my bus stop. Aashish was

already standing at the bus stop. Aashish was my


My Half Notebook

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best friend and classmate too. Our relationship was

more than friendship and we call it Bhaiship.

„Hey Aashish, How Are You?‟, I asked.

Aashish replied, „I‟m fine bro‟ in a melancholy

tone.

Aashish looked upset, trouble was clearly

visible on his face. I did not know what‟s bothering

him. I wanted to know why he was upset, but before

I ask for anything, I felt that he was ignoring me.

However, I was trying to make myself calm and

stand quietly. I thought, whenever he would be in

right mood, he himself will tell me everything.

But somewhere I constantly kept thinking

about the hassle of Aashish. I had no idea, What‟s

going on in his mind? I assumed, there was a family

problem? Financial problem? Or is it something

else?

Soon, college Bus had arrived. Aashish and me

took our fixed seats. Aashish was just looking out of

the window of the bus, without blinking his eyes. I

was watching his expression carefully. Somewhere,

his behavior irritated me.

I sighed and asked, „what happened to you?

Why are you not speaking anything? If you have

any problem, then you can shared it with me. By

sharing, maybe your problem will be alleviated?‟

Aashish responded, still looking out the

window, “Nothing Bro! I‟m not in mood of talk

with anybody.”

For few moment, I was staring at him

surprisingly. I stood up in anger and walked from


Shubham Saini

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there to the other seat, opened my book and started

doing the revision.

Crossing each bus stop, bus became more

crowdie and noisy. All students had to whispered in

the whole bus. Some students were consulting on

important questions, some were praying to God for

easy question paper and some were laughing loudly

and so on.

All these resulted in a huge uproar. My

concentration was repeatedly broken cause of that

noise. I started reading my book again, putting my

earplugs in and muting the outer noise.

After 30 minutes, the bus arrived at the college

campus. I plugged out my earphones and looked at

Aashish. He sat still upset, and was constantly

looking out of the window. It was very hard for me

to see his sadness.

I realized, why I got angry on him rather than

understanding his situation? I asked to myself. Soon

whole bus was empty except for the two of us.

There was a deep silence pervaded in the bus.

I whispered rested my left hand on his shoulder

and squeezed. „Get up bro, 10 minutes left for the

exam and we also have to figure out our

examination hall.

He held my hand, which was placed on his

shoulder. I could see the sadness in his eyes. „Sorry,

Shabby‟, he said. Before responding to anything,

the bell rang loudly in the premises, Indicating that

the exam was going to be started soon.

I mildly smiled and we started walking toward

the campus. Soon, the noisy corridor turned into the


My Half Notebook

5

deep silence except the sound of the passing wind

through the corridor.

After 3 hours, I was desperately looking for

him as I wanted to know what his problem was and

what was the reason that was bothering him.

I searched for him in the whole campus, but I

couldn‟t find him anywhere. Finally, I saw him

sitting alone in the bus. I crept slowly toward him

and put my hand on his shoulder.

I didn‟t know what to say that could soothe his

pain. I said but I asked too, „I will always be with

you. You can share your problem with me‟.

Aashish nodded his head, „No, you all are liars,

there is no one with me. You all will leave me one

by one like my dad left me. After today, you all will

do the same. College over, Friendship over!‟

At that time, I was unable to find words that

could soothe his pain. Words are powerful thing in

both ways – written or spoken.

But I didn‟t want to give him false hope. I

wanted to be a true friend and I was there to help

him in any way possible. I hugged him and

whispered into his ears that „I don‟t know where the

destiny will take us.

But I always pray that the day will never come

to separate us. You will always find me in your bad

time.

Aashish wiped his tears. He said nothing but

his award winning smile had answered.

I know my words couldn‟t alter the fact but it

can make him more bearable. Sometimes, some

largest things sorted out with small effort, but


Shubham Saini

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sometime, some smallest things would be hard to

sort out with your best efforts.

W


My Half Notebook

7

July 2014

X After exams, I used to go at my elder brother‟s

office. There, I used to work on the salary and saved

that money for my NGO. It was my dream to

establish my own NGO since last 3 years. I also

served on the weekends too. It was my

determination which took me toward my dream.

„Work no matter what, if you have will for work‟.

One evening, I got a call from an unknown

number. I picked up and the news I heard, it ripped

my heart out.

„HELLO! Who is this?‟

A frightened voice came from the other side

which made me realized that there was something

wrong.

The unknown caller spoke something that

ripped my heart out. I winched and fell on my

knees. For the coming few minutes, I couldn‟t feel

any movement in my body.

Unknown caller said, „ Aashish is admitted to

the hospital and constantly taking your name. You

just have to come here quickly‟.


Shubham Saini

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I broke my silence and demanded, „Which

hospital are you in and what happened to him?‟

The unknown dialer said, „Aashish‟s elder

brother was no more. He died last evening, and

Aashish could not stand the shock of the death of

his brother. So immediately we brought him to the

hospital in an unconscious state. Today, when he

regained his consciousness, He was frequently

uttering your name. that‟s why we called you. You

come quickly at Amritdhara hospital.‟

Without wasting a single second, I reached the

hospital and parked my bike at the parking area, and

inquired about Aashish. I had been looking to find

his room. I took the elevator to the third floor. My

fear and anxiety was increasing as I was getting

closer to his room.

Finally, I found his room. He was lying on the

bed and white sheet covered his half body, his

eyelids were half-closed and tears were rolling

down through his cheeks, needles were driven into

his right hand. I swallowed hard to oppose myself

from crying. I thought he was still in the state of

oblivion. I held his left hand sobbing, and sat on a

chair next to his bed.

Soon, I felt that Aashish was squeezing my

hand firmly. I shook my head, his eyes flickered.

When he looked at me, he began to cry loudly. He

was weeping bitterly, I held his hand tightly, and

with the other hand, I kept caressing his cheeks. I

was wiping his tears constantly. I‟ve never seen him

in such a condition before. I was perfectly

understanding that he was going through a difficult

stage of life.


My Half Notebook

9

Aashish said sobbing, „Everything is over Bro!

First, dad left us alone and now big brother too. I

have been all alone, what shall I do now to live

alone, I also want to die. I don‟t have so much

courage to handle this grief anymore‟.

Aashish was uncontrollable. I somehow

gathered my courage to speak and said, „Aashish,

every day we see somebody dying, every day we see

somebody’s funeral. However, we don’t think about

our death. Do you know why? Because the body

dies but not soul. The soul is immortal. Your

brother is nowhere, he’s with us. Look Bro, Sun

always shines but alone’.

I wanted to remind him that the purpose of life

is just to go on. We find, we celebrate, we lost, we

mourned, but as long as we lived. Suddenly, I

noticed Aashish‟s mom coming. I held his mom‟s

hand and said, „Have you ever wondered of what

kind of pain, your mom is going to suffer? Her pain

is much more than yours, she already has lost his

one son, and now doesn‟t want to lose another.

Just to move forward in life. Sometimes indeed,

we have to compromise with ourselves. Have to

hide misery behind the smile, even have to cry

alone. Don‟t expect someone‟s shoulder.

Just looked at the doctor, we all have no idea of

what kind of difficulties he has faced in his life,

what kind of darkness he has hid behind his white

coat. Instead of crying, he has come to the hospital

for our treatment so that we do not have any kind of

problem. We all don‟t know, what kind of

compromises he had made.


Shubham Saini

10

Life is not about to do something big, it‟s all

about, how much effort you were putting in that

work. That‟s matter.‟

A profound silence hung in the room. Aashish

turned his face to the other side, opposite to me.

After sitting there for few minutes, I departed.

I thought that the problems arise in our life, is

planned in advance, or had already been written in

our fate. I heard some people talking such things.

The next day, I went to the hospital. And I

broke into a huge smile. I stood outside the door,

„When I saw, Aashish ate from the hands of her

mom. There was no pain in his eyes, but there was a

glint of hopes, I think. That scene would touch

millions of hearts. I was filled with enthusiasm; I

wanted to write those beautiful moments into the

book of my dream.

„Excuse me!‟ I heard a deep heavy voice from

behind. I turned around. He was a doctor. I was way

ahead of him to go. Doctor entered into the

Aashish‟s room and I followed him. Doctor began

to check his reports and wrote something on his

clipboard. I was trying to see what he was writing.

But his handwriting was beyond my level of

understanding.

Aashish stood from his bed and walked a few

steps toward\ me. I was peeping into his eyes and he

hugged me tightly. Oddly, I felt so relaxed, because

it was something, which never had happened

before.


My Half Notebook

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sample copy. not for distribution. · author, shubham saini, is a civil engineer by profession and...

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