running a discussion

©WBro Martin Roche©WBro Martin Roche

Mentoring for MentorsMentoring for Mentors

Running a discussion in lodgeRunning a discussion in lodge

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By the end of this session we By the end of this session we will have:will have: Examined the process of Examined the process of

running a discussion and what it running a discussion and what it involvesinvolves

Identified potential difficulties Identified potential difficulties and their solutionsand their solutions

Defined your roleDefined your role Agreed a framework to complete Agreed a framework to complete

the task in handthe task in hand Had a go!Had a go!


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‘‘Discussion’Discussion’

An opportunity for individuals to An opportunity for individuals to give open, equal and personal give open, equal and personal responses to anything that responses to anything that needs interpretation.needs interpretation.

A common search for meaning A common search for meaning that exposes ambiguities and that exposes ambiguities and differencesdifferences


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‘‘Facilitation’Facilitation’

““To make easy”To make easy” Its purpose:Its purpose:

No one person has all the power No one person has all the power in the groupin the group

No one person has all the No one person has all the answersanswers

People ‘own’ their opinions People ‘own’ their opinions (respect & tolerance)(respect & tolerance)


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What it is … and is not!What it is … and is not!

It isn’t about:It isn’t about: Chairing a meeting … and you being the Chairing a meeting … and you being the

focusfocus ‘‘Being in charge’Being in charge’ Running group therapy!Running group therapy!

It must be about:It must be about: You asking the initial questionsYou asking the initial questions Leading them to ask questions of each Leading them to ask questions of each

other, which requires thatother, which requires that They do most of the talkingThey do most of the talking THEY REACH A CONCLUSIONTHEY REACH A CONCLUSION

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© WBro Martin Roche© WBro Martin Roche

The pitfalls:The pitfalls:

You doing all the You doing all the talking is easytalking is easy

Listening is difficultListening is difficultNot interrupting is Not interrupting is unbearable!unbearable!

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What we must What we must notnot do: do:

Take sidesTake sides Give personal opinions – Give personal opinions –

rhetorical/leading questionsrhetorical/leading questions Provide answers to their issues – Provide answers to their issues –

advice in disguise!advice in disguise! Constantly talk in anecdotes (‘… Constantly talk in anecdotes (‘…

well, when I was …’)well, when I was …’) Allow ‘ping-pong’ exchanges Allow ‘ping-pong’ exchanges

between two participantsbetween two participants Be Be THETHE expert expert

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What we What we mustmust do: do:

Emphasise our role and keep Emphasise our role and keep reminding themreminding them

Create trust and maintain respect Create trust and maintain respect Involve everyoneInvolve everyone Remain positiveRemain positive Value contributions (‘thank you Value contributions (‘thank you

for that …’)for that …’) Keep calm – you and themKeep calm – you and them

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Keep questions open – those that Keep questions open – those that start with: who, what, where, start with: who, what, where, when, why, how (5WH) and also:when, why, how (5WH) and also: Tell me about …Tell me about … Explain for me …Explain for me … Describe to me …Describe to me …

Provide constant affirmation Provide constant affirmation (‘That’s an interesting point … (‘That’s an interesting point … what does everybody else think?’) what does everybody else think?’)

Maintain a party lineMaintain a party line

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Keep the conversation moving Keep the conversation moving in the right direction; in the right direction; thereforetherefore,,Be prepared to remind them of Be prepared to remind them of

the question/point in handthe question/point in handSummarise frequently – it aids Summarise frequently – it aids

consensusconsensus Make progress and reach Make progress and reach

outcomesoutcomes

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Good examples of phrases Good examples of phrases using open questions:using open questions:

We’ve just covered an awful lot of We’ve just covered an awful lot of issues – can somebody summarise issues – can somebody summarise the things we have discussed?the things we have discussed?

What do you all think about what … What do you all think about what … has just said?has just said?

Who else feels/thinks that?Who else feels/thinks that? What would you do in that situation?What would you do in that situation?

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Why did you become a mason?Why did you become a mason? How would you introduce a How would you introduce a

potential member to your lodge?potential member to your lodge? Where would you go to find out?Where would you go to find out? What’s your view on that?What’s your view on that? What type of person makes a What type of person makes a

good mason?good mason?

Good examples of phrases Good examples of phrases using open questions:using open questions:

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And some of the simplest And some of the simplest questions are the hardest …questions are the hardest …

Such as …Such as …Are you a better Are you a better

person for being a person for being a mason?mason?

If so, how?If so, how?If not, why?If not, why?

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RememberRemember:: Some people may be on a mission in Some people may be on a mission in

these meetings – and it may not be the these meetings – and it may not be the same as ours!same as ours!

This may be the first opportunity some This may be the first opportunity some members have ever had to express an members have ever had to express an opinion on anything – never mind opinion on anything – never mind Masonic issuesMasonic issues

Maintaining control of the proceedings Maintaining control of the proceedings is essential – but too much control can is essential – but too much control can become manipulationbecome manipulation

Assist them to reach conclusions – but Assist them to reach conclusions – but do not impose themdo not impose them

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RememberRemember:: Summaries must be an accurate Summaries must be an accurate

representation of representation of theirtheir deliberations and not a mixture of deliberations and not a mixture of youryour opinions and what you wish opinions and what you wish theythey had said! had said!

There are not always right and There are not always right and wrong answers – but there can still wrong answers – but there can still be consensus and acceptance of be consensus and acceptance of differencesdifferences

It’s good when we admit our It’s good when we admit our mistakes – but we are sometimes mistakes – but we are sometimes not very good in the way we point not very good in the way we point out other peoplesout other peoples

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RememberRemember::

Masonry has to learn from its Masonry has to learn from its mistakes – part of which is moving mistakes – part of which is moving on from themon from them

We don’t need to know all the We don’t need to know all the answers – but we need to be able answers – but we need to be able to recognise them when they to recognise them when they appearappear

We We allall need to know what need to know what achievement … achievement … the outcomethe outcome … … looks like (looks like (VERYVERY important) important)

The most powerful and meaningful The most powerful and meaningful questions are the shortest onesquestions are the shortest ones



EXERCISE … or time to have a EXERCISE … or time to have a go!go!

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Purpose of the exercise Purpose of the exercise

To come up with a consensus To come up with a consensus about what freemasonry means about what freemasonry means to you us a groupto you us a group

Whilst doing this we will look at Whilst doing this we will look at the process as well as the the process as well as the questionquestion

The intent is to illustrate how to The intent is to illustrate how to run this yourselfrun this yourself


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ExerciseExercise What does freemasonry mean to What does freemasonry mean to

you? you? As an individual and in your lodgeAs an individual and in your lodge Not the allegorical stuff Not the allegorical stuff One word answers only!One word answers only! Real words that you understand in Real words that you understand in

everyday language and that a layman everyday language and that a layman will.will.

Think about how you would (or do) Think about how you would (or do) describe it to adescribe it to a prospective prospective member AND their wife/partner?member AND their wife/partner?

Have you ever thought about it?Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever tried?Have you ever tried?

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Why are you a mason?Why are you a mason? Why have you stayed a mason of Why have you stayed a mason of youryour

lodge?lodge? What makes your masonry fun?What makes your masonry fun?

And what doesn’t! And what doesn’t! Is there anything you need to know so that Is there anything you need to know so that

you are a better informed Mason?you are a better informed Mason? Does any body else in your lodge have ‘the Does any body else in your lodge have ‘the

answers’?answers’? If not, where will you get the answers?If not, where will you get the answers?

It may also encompass…It may also encompass…

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FinallyFinally

In doing the exercise, In doing the exercise, contributions will be recorded on contributions will be recorded on a flip charta flip chart

Reason?Reason? Keep them on trackKeep them on track Keep you on track!Keep you on track! Aid discussionAid discussion Ensure progressEnsure progress Reach a conclusion and have a Reach a conclusion and have a

‘product’ to go away with‘product’ to go away with


QuestionQuestion

What does Freemasonry mean to What does Freemasonry mean to you?you?

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Having gone through the Having gone through the exercise …exercise … What have we achieved?What have we achieved? The aim is that participants will now The aim is that participants will now

be more confident to discuss THEIR be more confident to discuss THEIR masonry with:masonry with: A member of their lodge?A member of their lodge? A friend?A friend? A member of their family?A member of their family? A colleague?A colleague? A potential new member?A potential new member?

Could you run this exercise (address Could you run this exercise (address this question) in a lodge?this question) in a lodge?

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Having gone through the Having gone through the exercise …exercise …

Turn their deliberations into a list of Turn their deliberations into a list of the top ten words that summarise the top ten words that summarise what they what they as a group as a group think masonry isthink masonry is

Without realising it they have a Without realising it they have a prompt which encompasses what prompt which encompasses what Masonry is Masonry is to them to them and a and a menu/agenda to describe it to menu/agenda to describe it to somebody else!somebody else!


And the big question…And the big question…

What will you take away from this What will you take away from this session?session?



Running a discussion in lodgeRunning a discussion in lodge

running a discussion

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