Restorative Approaches to

Behaviour & Relationships

St Mary’s C of E Primary School Parent Workshop 2nd October 2018 Delivered by Sian McCarthy

• Understand the values underlying restorative approaches

• Be aware of the potential benefits and outcomes of working

restoratively

• Understand the process of restoring harm

• Feel equipped to continue to apply restorative approaches in

everyday practice

Workshop Aims

It is a response to inappropriate behaviour that puts repairing

harm done to relationships and to people, above the need for

assigning blame and dispensing punishment.

What is restorative practice?

Q Where does it originate from?

Restorative Practice

A Ancient Maori, Aboriginal and Native American notions of Justice

Q What is its history in this country?

A Youth criminal justice system, now moved into adult criminal justice system and schools

Q What is its place in schools?

A Recognising that schools are where young people learn, and from a restorative perspective, conflict or wrongdoing is recognised as an opportunity for learning. The focus is on the harm caused, obligations of those involved and the responsibility to make things right.

Q What are the rewards?

A Pupils develop independence and self control, harm is repaired and relationships restored and strengthened, creating a more harmonious learning environment.

Relationships at the heart…

6

Think about the qualities, values and skills needed to build

and maintain relationships?

Harm Activity 1:

When you have been harmed, what do

you need?

Someone to listen to my story

Time to calm down

A chance to ask, “Why me?”

The person concerned to acknowledge the impact of their

behaviour

A sincere apology

Reassurance that it will not happen again

Harm Activity 2:

When you have caused

harm (on purpose or accidental)

what do you need?

Time to think

A chance to explain to myself and to the other person why I did what I did

An opportunity to apologise

A chance to make amends

Reassurance that the matter is dealt with and that I can

move on

Someone to listen to my story

Social Discipline

WITH

authoritative reintegrative

Restorative

TO

authoritarian stigmatising

Punitive

Low

High

FOR

Permissive

rescuing excusing

High

Contr

ol

(Lim

it s

ett

ing/B

oundaries)

Support (encouragement/nurture)

NOT

Neglectful

indifferent passive

A more traditionally punitive approach to managing behaviour asks the questions:

• What happened?

• Who is to blame?

• What is the appropriate punishment?

Restorative versus Punitive

Restorative conversations pose the following questions:

• What happened?

• Who has been affected and how?

• How can we mend the harm done?

• What have we learned so as to make different

choices next time?

Restorative Conversations

Pupil behaviour

Adult response

Emotional/ reactive

Planned/ Proactive

Adult feelings

-ve +ve Pupil feelings

-ve +ve

The dynamics of teacher and pupil interaction

16

What behaviours do children demonstrate that may push your

buttons? Make a list…

17

What behaviours on your list remain the same when you think about the behaviours that YOU demonstrate that

may push children’s buttons?

Can you add any more?

“Words have no legs, yet they walk.”

MALI proverb

• State the behaviour you find difficult

• State the effect it is having on you or from your perspective

• State how you are feeling/what you might do

• You state what you need

How ‘I’ Messages work

I feel… (the feeling you get);

when you… (the action of the other person that is annoying you);

because… (the effect on you, or on the other person)

e.g. I feel upset when you laugh at my football skills because it makes me feel bad about myself and that you don’t care about my feelings.

I Messages

Scenarios

Think back to one of your ‘Button Pushing’ situations. How could you use the ‘I’

Messages in this scenario?

As a group discuss what could been done

to prevent, de-escalate and repair

harm.

• It gives a voice to pupils and staff who have been harmed

• Helps develop pupils’ empathy, responsibility, problem solving and understanding of consequences

• Builds systems that address harm in a way that strengthens relationships

• Supports existing practice of building, maintaining and mending relationships with pupils who lack this experience

Why do we need restorative practices?

22

• Respect – listening to others’ opinions and valuing them

• Responsibility – taking responsibility for your own actions

• Repair – talking with others to sort out how to repair any harm that has been caused

• Reintegration – working through a process that solves the problem but allows young people to remain included and involved in mainstream education

All of the work is based on 4 key features:

• A safer, more caring environment

• A more effective teaching and learning environment

• A greater commitment by everyone to taking the time to listen to one another

• A reduction in bullying and other interpersonal conflicts

• A greater awareness of the importance of connectedness to young people. The need to belong and feel valued by peers and significant adults

The potential advantages of restorative approaches in the school setting include:

• Greater emphasis on responses to inappropriate behaviour that seek to reconnect, and not further disconnect, young people

• Reductions in fixed term and permanent exclusions

• A greater confidence in the staff team to deal with challenging situations

• An increased belief in the ability of young people to take responsibility for their choices, and more people giving them opportunities to do so