resolving conflict constructively uws aspire leadership program year 1 2009

Resolving Conflict Resolving Conflict ConstructivelyConstructively

UWS Aspire Leadership ProgramUWS Aspire Leadership Program

Year 1 2009Year 1 2009

INSPIRING TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERSHIP

ContentsContents Signs of Poor Conflict Management Signs of Constructive Conflict Management Win/Win Approach Creative Response – Problems or

Challenges? Demonstrating Empathy Appropriate Assertiveness Managing Emotions Resolving the Conflict

Signs of Poor Conflict Signs of Poor Conflict ManagementManagement

Anxiety Procrastination Confusion Loss of Productivity Resentment Stress Illness Denial Withdrawal Suppressed Anger

Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

Signs of Constructive Signs of Constructive Conflict ManagementConflict Management

Feeling of Power Sense of Smooth

Running Efficiency Openness Teamwork Good Health Vitality Fun Environment Sense of Achievement Good Relationships TGIM!!!!


Win/Win ApproachWin/Win Approach The Win/Win Approach = “I want to win AND

I want you to win too.” The Win/Win Approach requires you to find

out more about the situation first and explore the options before finalising the solution

The Win/Win Approach steps are: Find out why they need what they want Find out where the differences dovetail What are the options? Co-operate


Creative Response – Creative Response – Problems or Challenges?Problems or Challenges?

The Creative Response to Conflict is about turning problems into opportunities.

The Steps are: Step 1: Reaction or Response Step 2: Acknowledge the Situation for

What It Is Step 3: What Can You Learn from the

Situation Step 4: Turn Conflict into Opportunity

As you think, so it becomes

Demonstrating EmpathyDemonstrating Empathy

If you want effective relationships, your communication must demonstrate to people that you:

Respect them as equals and won’t dominate them

Respect their opinions and won’t try to manipulate them to seeing it your way

Respect and value their decisions and won’t undermine them

Respect their values and experienceEmpathy ‘Blocks’: Domination, manipulation, disempowerment and denialSource: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

Appropriate Appropriate AssertivenessAssertiveness

Good Conflict Resolution requires you to be able to state your case without causing the other person to be defensive.

Explain how things are for you, rather than what others should or shouldn’t do.

Use “I” statements, rather than using “You …….”

Are your “I” statements CLEAN and CLEAR? What do you do when faced with Conflict –

Fight, Flight or Flow?

Managing EmotionsManaging Emotions Managing Emotions means:

Don’t indulge Don’t deny Do use emotions to build richer

relationships Emotions are mind, body and energy events Do you need to release pent up feelings?


Managing EmotionsManaging Emotions Unravelling a problem releases energy Use focusing to find the core of the problem Use anger as a fire for change...positive

change! The conclusions we draw about someone

else’s behaviour are often the triggers for our own excessive emotional reactions


Resolving the ConflictResolving the Conflict

The questions to ask in resolving conflict are: What is the issue, problem or conflict? Who are the important parties in this

conflict? What interests underlie the problem? Write down each person’s needs Write down each person’s anxieties or

fears What anxieties/fears are influencing

behaviour? What areas do we have in common?


Resolving the ConflictResolving the Conflict

From these answers we can map the conflict

Options can then be designed:

What are all the possibilities?

Which options give us both more of what we want?


AcknowledgementsAcknowledgements H. Cornelius and S. Faire, 1995, Everyone

Can Win, Simon & Schuster, Australia Avril Henry, 2006, Resolving Conflict

Constructively Workshop, AH Revelations Pty Ltd

Avril Henry

Managing Director

Level 4, Suite 4.13

55 Miller Street

Pyrmont NSW 2009

Phone: 02 9660 2400

Fax: 02 9660 2411

Email: [email protected]

Web: www.avrilhenry.com.au

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