Resolving Conflict Resolving Conflict ConstructivelyConstructively
UWS Aspire Leadership ProgramUWS Aspire Leadership Program
Year 1 2009Year 1 2009
INSPIRING TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERSHIP
ContentsContents Signs of Poor Conflict Management Signs of Constructive Conflict Management Win/Win Approach Creative Response – Problems or
Challenges? Demonstrating Empathy Appropriate Assertiveness Managing Emotions Resolving the Conflict
Signs of Poor Conflict Signs of Poor Conflict ManagementManagement
Anxiety Procrastination Confusion Loss of Productivity Resentment Stress Illness Denial Withdrawal Suppressed Anger
Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire
Signs of Constructive Signs of Constructive Conflict ManagementConflict Management
Feeling of Power Sense of Smooth
Running Efficiency Openness Teamwork Good Health Vitality Fun Environment Sense of Achievement Good Relationships TGIM!!!!
Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire
Win/Win ApproachWin/Win Approach The Win/Win Approach = “I want to win AND
I want you to win too.” The Win/Win Approach requires you to find
out more about the situation first and explore the options before finalising the solution
The Win/Win Approach steps are: Find out why they need what they want Find out where the differences dovetail What are the options? Co-operate
Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire
Creative Response – Creative Response – Problems or Challenges?Problems or Challenges?
The Creative Response to Conflict is about turning problems into opportunities.
The Steps are: Step 1: Reaction or Response Step 2: Acknowledge the Situation for
What It Is Step 3: What Can You Learn from the
Situation Step 4: Turn Conflict into Opportunity
As you think, so it becomes
Demonstrating EmpathyDemonstrating Empathy
If you want effective relationships, your communication must demonstrate to people that you:
Respect them as equals and won’t dominate them
Respect their opinions and won’t try to manipulate them to seeing it your way
Respect and value their decisions and won’t undermine them
Respect their values and experienceEmpathy ‘Blocks’: Domination, manipulation, disempowerment and denialSource: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire
Appropriate Appropriate AssertivenessAssertiveness
Good Conflict Resolution requires you to be able to state your case without causing the other person to be defensive.
Explain how things are for you, rather than what others should or shouldn’t do.
Use “I” statements, rather than using “You …….”
Are your “I” statements CLEAN and CLEAR? What do you do when faced with Conflict –
Fight, Flight or Flow?
Managing EmotionsManaging Emotions Managing Emotions means:
Don’t indulge Don’t deny Do use emotions to build richer
relationships Emotions are mind, body and energy events Do you need to release pent up feelings?
Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire
Managing EmotionsManaging Emotions Unravelling a problem releases energy Use focusing to find the core of the problem Use anger as a fire for change...positive
change! The conclusions we draw about someone
else’s behaviour are often the triggers for our own excessive emotional reactions
Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire
Resolving the ConflictResolving the Conflict
The questions to ask in resolving conflict are: What is the issue, problem or conflict? Who are the important parties in this
conflict? What interests underlie the problem? Write down each person’s needs Write down each person’s anxieties or
fears What anxieties/fears are influencing
behaviour? What areas do we have in common?
Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire
Resolving the ConflictResolving the Conflict
From these answers we can map the conflict
Options can then be designed:
What are all the possibilities?
Which options give us both more of what we want?
Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire
AcknowledgementsAcknowledgements H. Cornelius and S. Faire, 1995, Everyone
Can Win, Simon & Schuster, Australia Avril Henry, 2006, Resolving Conflict
Constructively Workshop, AH Revelations Pty Ltd
Avril Henry
Managing Director
Level 4, Suite 4.13
55 Miller Street
Pyrmont NSW 2009
Phone: 02 9660 2400
Fax: 02 9660 2411
Email: [email protected]
Web: www.avrilhenry.com.au