Rebecca Emerson Dobash & Russell P. DobashProfessors Emeriti, Criminology, School of Law, University of Manchester, UK

Scottish Women’s Aid Seminar to coincide with the publication of

‘When Men Murder Women’, Oxford University Press, New York

City Council Chambers (Midlothian Suite)

Edinburgh

27 October, 2015

WHEN MEN MURDER WOMENWHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

OVERVIEW

What thinking? Depends on who is thinking, and extends to all

Thinking in Pictures & Words

Cultural Context – history, popular culture & modern advertising

Thinking About Thinking - theorizing

Accounts: from Abusers & Murderers

Quotes from murderers about: denial, problems with women, orientations to murder, responsibility, blame,

lack of empathy/remorse

In Prison Resistance to change

Challenges to working with men who murder – Resistance

Men who engage in the process of change

WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? ... WHAT ARE THEY DOINGWHAT ARE THEY LEARNING?

...

Men in abusers groups What are they thinking?

Abuser confronts police What is abuser thinking? What is police officer thinking?

Child, father/abuser, policewhat is each thinking?

His relationship with the woman he murders

His view of women in general & of the woman he murders:

sense of ownership, authority, control, privilege,

entitlements:

-entitled to ‘respect’, authority, obedience, woman’s work, sex …

His previous violence against woman victim/ other women

His view of his violence:

blame victim, minimize violence, deny responsibility,

lack empathy with victim & remorse for murder

Change essential in the process of reform

What Were They Thinking – Some Relevant Factors

THINKING – LEARNING - ACTING

As individuals:

We think in pictures ...we think in words

Sometimes we think something when we are not really thinking straight because we are drunk, high, dreaming or fantasizing

We also think/learn/act within wider cultural contexts that contain notions and images about:

- men, women, and relationships between men and women

- some are positive while others are negative and depict coercion, violence and even murder (usually by men against women) …

MEN IN RELATION TO WOMENCULTURAL CONTEXTS

HISTORY, POPULAR CULTURE & ADVERTISING

About women:

-Objectification, Sexualisation & Violence

About violence/murder:

-Rationalizations, justifications, minimisation, lack of empathy or remorse for violence against women … some visual thoughts, lessons, and actions

VIOLENCE & MURDER OF WOMENIN HISTORY, LITERATURE, POPULAR CULTURE & ADVERTISING

-silence a wife,

-rape for fun&pleasure

MODERN ADVERTISING USING CONCEPT FROM TRADITIONAL COOKBOOKS BODY PARTS OF A WOMAN BEFORE & AFTER BUTCHERING

Cookbook - Animal’s body-whole Animal’s body-cut into parts

THINKING ABOUT THINKING..

Techniques of Neutralization

-rationalize and prepare groundwork for

subsequent act/s (Sykes & Matza, 1957)

Accounts of ‘untoward behaviour’

-excuses: act ‘wrong’ but deny responsibility

-justifications: ‘act’ is permissible,

-‘alter-casting’ the self (not like me)

(Scott & Lyman, 1968)

Sociology of Apology’ (Tavuchis, 1991)

-techniques for avoiding responsibility:

-remain silent, challenge validity of

facts/details, question motives of others,

complete denial, self-pity,

inauthentic remorse, empathy & self-blame

..Violence, Moral Thought & Action (Bandura, 1991)

-basis of cognitive behavioural programs for offenders

Justifications include: -blaming victim/others,-dehumanize/impersonalize, -disregard/distort consequences,-disown act, deny agency, -claim high moral purpose

ACCOUNTS – HE SAYS…

-Entering the narrative at points that blame the woman…

-Selective forgetting/remembering about – circumstances, events, violence

-Claim amnesia: ‘I don’t remember anything’ … ‘total loss of memory’

-Deny: ‘Nothing happened’; … ‘I didn’t do it’

-Rationalize: ‘I had just lost my job’, … ‘I was drunk’, …

-Discount/minimize: ‘It wasn’t that bad, … Others have done worse’

-Blame the woman: ‘If she hadn’t ………; If she had …….…’

-Blame alcohol, and/or drugs: ‘It was the drink’;… I was high’

-Blame Loss of control: ‘I just lost it’ …

-His Intentions: ‘to frighten her; … to punish her; … to destroy her’

Problems with Women in Intimate Relationships

Problems with Women

Throughout his adult life], he has displayed evidence of a difficulty in maintaining stable relationships with women .

Authority & Control:

‘ She come with a mouthful, so I broke her record player & poured paint on her clothes to stop her from going out’.

Separation‘The relationship deteriorated & she

wished to terminate it. In an effort to dissuade her, he carried out a prolonged and vicious attack’.

‘Changing the Project’

‘She made various attempts to break off the relationship. He had made up his mind what he was going to do with the woman who no longer wanted his attention,

she was going to die’.

HE SAYS: Denying Previous Violence, Denying Murder

Deny murder:

‘I couldn’t believe it. It actually took me six years to accept the fact that she was actually dead.

‘He continues to claim death was an accident – she fell on his knife’

‘I never thought my wife had died. I thought she was in a deep sleep.’

Deny previous violence to victim

‘He says he only ever hit is wife once before but denies a long standing history of domestic violence’

‘It did come to blows with my wife. If I remember, I only hit her twice’

HE SAYS: Admit Murder but Deny Responsibility & Blame the Victim

Deny Responsibility for murder

‘He presents his behavior as a mystery he can’t solve and isn’t responsible for.

‘It is convenient for him to see himself as mentally ill.’

He sees it as a domestic offense and the tariff as too high.

‘The police said this was premeditated. He says it was an accident that happened while he was drunk’.

Blame the Victim

‘He has no real insight into the circumstances leading up to the offence, and claims she was a very bossy woman’.

He insists this stemmed out of severe provocation from his wife… He says she had gone on and on at him, he ‘snapped’ and reached for a hammer. He viewed her as a ‘nagging, ungrateful wife’ and himself as a ‘bullied husband’.

HE SAYS: Admits Murder but lacks remorse or empathy

Lack of Empathy & Remorse

‘He is extremely dangerous, a complete absence of remorse, compassion or pity for his victim’

‘The last thing he said in interview was, …all this happened because I felt they [the victims] deserved to be taught a lesson’

‘I could find no evidence of spontaneous empathy or appropriate remorse apart from the effect on himself. … and illustrated a lack of consequential thinking.’

‘He showed very little emotions while recounting the details of his offense and there was little to indicate any remorse’.

HE SAYS:Resist Engaging in the Process of Change

Prison Interview, WomanPsychologist

‘He used direct, fixed eye contact throughout the interview and when challenged about aspects of the offence his tone of voice and evident irritation led me to believe that if I was to carry on with the line of questioning he may have become angry or even aggressive towards me. This deterred me from asking certain questions of him. His behavior towards me during the interview gives cause for concern given that his offense consisted of violence towards a female.’

Prison Programmes

‘At first, he presented as highly motivated saying he wanted to become a better person & not cause any further harm to others but he tended to lapse into self pity & to use minimizations & distortions.’

‘Despite initial positive assessments on a violent offender’s program, he...was not willing to acknowledge he had a problem with his violence & therefore saw little need to apply himself to the program’.

What Were They Thinking?- 4 TYPES of murder compared

Dru

Men

No

E

No

R

Un

c

Pro

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90

100

MxM n=424 IPM n=105 SexM n=98 O.Wo n=40

Dobash & Dobash

Challenges to working with men who murder women – Forms of Resistance -

Refuses to talk to anyone (denies, doesn’t remember, not his fault, …..

Refuses to enter into process of change

Refuses to discuss various issues with professionals, including:

the murder, violence against women, orientation to women, relationships with women, problems of alcohol/drugs……

Offers an Inauthentic apology and/or remorse

Objectifies woman victim

Self pity

Egocentric, effect of the murder/conviction/prison on HIS LIFE

HE SAYS: Men who engage in the Process of Change

Starting to take responsibility

‘He remains motivated to address all of his offending behaviour’

‘I was at fault, totally, but I was looking for something [to blame]. Others give excuses… but at the end of the day you’ve got to live with yourself, and it’s me who’s got to live with it.’

Q: Any negative feelings about your childhood?

‘No, Not really, at the end of the day you end up here because of yourself. That’s it.’

‘Totally wrong -these things- gotta carry them with me through my life. I can’t blame anybody else whereas I’ve always blamed other people. Today I can’t. I have to take responsibility for everything.’

‘He showed very little emotions while recounting the details of his offense and there was little to indicate any remorse’.

RELEVANT PUBLICATIONS

2015, Dobash, R. Emerson & Dobash, Russell P., When Men Murder Women, Oxford University Press, New York & Oxford.

2011, What were they thinking? Men who murder an intimate partner. Violence Against Women, 17:111-132.

2001, Cavanagh, K, R.E. Dobash, R.P.Dobash & R. Lewis, Remedial Work: Men’s Stragategic Responses to Their Violence Against Intimate Female Partners, Sociology, 35:695-714.