principles of a pscyhoeducation program for parents of children who have been sexually abused

8/4/2019 Principles of a Pscyhoeducation Program for Parents of Children Who Have Been Sexually Abused

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Starting Where Clients AreWhen Clients are Children and

their Families

Jane F. Gilgun, PhD., LICSWUniversity of Minnesota, Twin Cities

http://www.cehd.umn.edu/ssw/people/profiles/GilgunJ.asp

For Family Service, Inc.

St. Paul, MN

April 7, 2003
http://www.cehd.umn.edu/ssw/people/profiles/GilgunJ.asphttp://www.cehd.umn.edu/ssw/people/profiles/GilgunJ.asp


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University of Minnesota, Twin Cities

School of Social Work

Some day

maybe there will exist

a well-informed,

well-considered

and yet fervent publicconviction,

that the most deadly

of all possible sinsis the mutilation

of a child's spirit.

Erik H. Erikson


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Discussion Points

Cognitive Science and Its Relevance

to Psychoeducation

Healthy Parent-Child Relationships

Applications: Working with childrenand their families when children havebeen sexually abused


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Cognitive Science Connects to social works starting where

clients are

Where are clients? Internal working models of self and others

Schemas

Choice: limited by the time in which persons live,the settings in which they develop, and the personsand ideologies to which they are exposed


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Autonomy& Agency Self-determination not absolute

Accommodation

Mutuality

Agency=Choice:limited by the time in which

persons live, the settings in which they develop, andthe persons and ideologies to which they are exposed

Role of Professionals: Coach, encourage, draw out

clients capacities for choices


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Characteristics of Healthy

Parent-Child Relationships Sensitive responsiveness of care

providers to childrens bids

Mutuality according to capacities ofeach

Provision of environments that foster

healthy development Respect for childrens autonomy

Gradual relinquishment of parental

control


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Sensitive Responsiveness is

Essential Sensitivity to the child's bids Sensitive care providers are

available and supportive

emotionally available warm and responsive

Responsiveness and Reciprocity

reciprocal interaction

positive mutuality reciprocal caring and affection

with the adult aware of his/her power and differentialabilities


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Responsivenessand

Reciprocity responsiveness to the ever-changing

demands of the maturing, individuatingchild

child: compliance to requests of adults

adult: gradual relinquishment of controlover the child

sensitivity to and support for child's age-appropriate activities

effective teachers--structuring tasks so thatchildren could learn how to do them


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Responsiveness & Mutual

Respect: Generational Differences

Parents and other Care Providers: respect children's autonomy

allow children to explore and attempt tasks without intrusion

set firm, consistent limits without hostility

provide a home with age-appropriate play materials

flexible in their expectations

accommodatetheir expectations to childrens capacities

They adapt


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Responsiveness & Mutual Respect:Professionals & Clients

Professionals respect clients autonomy

Create conditions where clients can explore and problem-solvewithout intrusion of professionals or other group members

Create conditions where participants feels safe Create mutually agreed on ground rules including consequences for

breaching the rules

Enforce ground rules

Provide guidance and materials that Build on what clients want to know

Stimulate problem-solving

Accommodation/flexibility regarding own expectations

adapt to clients and what they want


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Definitions of CSA child sexual abuse clearly is an abuse

of power.

An adult, or older person, or astronger person, takes advantage of

a child

a child can never give informedconsent

because of age

children are taught to obeyadults/older people


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Definitions of CSA(Contd)

children can never give informed consent because of age

children are taught to obey adults/older peopleI thought there were laws about adults and children

Because of size"He was big and I was little.

I had to do what he said.

Children are naturally responsive to adultattention


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Children do not

Understand Lack of understanding of the nature of

the sexual behavior:

A 13 year-old talking to a friend: "We were just talking one day. She was talking

about her boyfriend. She thought she was big.She had sex with a 17 year-old. I said to her,

'That's nothing. I go to bed with a 34 year-old.' She said, 'You do? Who is he?' I said, "Myfather.'


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Abuse of Power Clear lack of reciprocity and not

understanding:

A 13 year-old said she thought her greatuncle was trying to love her: When askedwhen she thought of that, she said:

"It felt kind of weird. I didn't like him the wayI liked boys."


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Some Meanings to

Perpetrators

For perpetrators, child sexual abuse is anintense, highly erotic, highly gratifying sexual

pleasure "I remember that high, and, boy, I wanted it. I

wanted it.

About fellatio by a child:

"It would feel like being on top of the world. Up untilnow there's no greater feeling that I can experience thanhaving somebody perform oral sex on me. That is myultimate feeling."


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Many Possible Affects onChildren Betrayal of Trust Traumatic Sexualization Stigmatization--Shame--can be linked to

many other things Anger Powerlessness Grief & Loss--often experienced as anger--

internalized & externalized I'll never treat anyone like this Confusion Feeling special

Anything else?


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Resilience: The End Pointof Interventions

Capacities to cope with, adapt to, andovercome risks

Internalized capacities to maintain ansense of personal integration and a

sense of competence when confrontedwith adversities


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Resilience: The Concept ofRepair

Resilience

adversities, breakdown, repair

Similar to rhythms of relationships

Mutuality, breakdown, repair

Mutual regulation from infancy to old age


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Applications

Work with parents/Work with children Trust

Between children/parents and professionals

Among child/parent participants

Content that builds on and extends what theyknow and want to know

Family work Children show & tell

Small multiple family groups

Family therapy


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Applications to Workwith Parents

Cognitive Science

Stimulus stories for parents

Draw on their capacities to think, reason, andmake their own decisions

Scenarios on possible responses

Practice sensitive responsiveness Specific materials parents want to use

Opportunities to practice using these materials


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Applications to Workwith Parents

When Parents Have Working Knowledge ofMain Points of Program

Use video taping Parents practice the various scenarios that

are part of the education program

Review the video tape Ask a lot of wondering questions:

I wonder what you were thinking

I wonder how that fits with.


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Applications to Workwith Children

Cognitive Science

What are childrens levels of cognitive and

emotional development?

What strategies connect with where

children are? Concrete

Experiential

Direct

What else?


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Applications to Workwith Children(contd)

Group/pair work

Clarity about reasons for the group work

May involve preparation through individual & family work Thoughtful inclusion of group members who are

prepared for group work

Sufficient number of professionals

Fun, concrete, brief exercises, simple recognitionfor work well done, encourage children to give thisrecognition to each other


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What kinds of exercises? Flash cards Emotion charts Reading books together Boundary setting exercise Hand drawing exercise What else?

Purpose? Repair Promotion of capacities for mutuality with adults

and generational equals (peers & siblings)


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Parental involvement essential To develop similar language and understandings

Requires covering similar ground Can invite parents in at end of childrens group to let

children show parents what theyve learned

Small multiple family groups

Family therapy

Parental capacities for responding to children requires parents to do personal work

Parental willingness to engage with thepsychoeducation may require encouragement


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Cognitive Science

When change occurs, schemas aretransformed

Not assimilation of new ideas andbehaviors

but accommodation of new ideas and

behaviorsAt new developmental stages, children

and families may require tune ups


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Appendix


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What we want


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Many Kinds of Violence


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Childrens Understandings

I thought there were laws about adultsand children.

He did it until white stuff came out.

"It felt kind of weird. I didn't like himthe way I liked boys."

"Sometimes it felt good, but that mademe feel guilty.


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Perpetrators Threats

"You'll get into trouble and so will I.

"If you tell, I'll go to jail. That willmake my wife unhappy. You don't wantto make my wife unhappy, do you?"


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Some Key Phrases

The perpetrator took advantage of you.

Its OK to love and hate someone who hurtyou.

Child: He put his thing in my craphole.

Professional: He put his thing in yourcraphole.

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