Islamic Parenting:

An IntroductionAbuSamihah Sirajul

IslamApril 21, 2023

What is Parenting• Parenting or child rearing is the process of

promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship. –Davies, Martin (2000). The Blackwell encyclopedia of social

work. Wiley-Blackwell. p. 245. ISBN 978-0-631-21451-9.

• This does not mean to be only biological parents of children.

What is Islamic Parenting

• In Islam parenting would mean to understand the roles and responsibilities as fathers/mothers and raise children in a way that would make them good servants of Allah, by being physically, emotionally, morally, ethically & religiously sound.

Goal of Islamic Parenting

• Raising Children to be Good Slaves of Allah Who will be Upholding the Words of Allah High and Benefactors of Humanity by Carrying Out the Mission of the Ummah – Commanding What is Good & Forbidding What is Evil.

Challenges

Faced by The Muslim Parents in the West

Challenges are Multi-Dimensional

Parenting Styles

Challenges • Understanding Your Role and Responsibility–Allah has assigned tremendous responsibilities on you as a parent.–We need to save our families from hell fire:– “O you who have believed, protect yourselves

and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.” [66:6]

Challenges • Understanding Your Role and Responsibility–Your children are amanat• “Indeed, Allah commands you to render trusts to whom they

are due.” [4:58]

–Children are a trial• And know ye that your possessions and your progeny are but

a trial; and that it is Allah with Whom lies your highest reward. 8:28

–Children will be of no benefit unless….• Never will your relatives or your children benefit you; the

Day of Resurrection He will judge between you. And Allah, of what you do, is Seeing. [60:3]

Challenges • Understanding Your Children–Your children develop differently at different stages of their life.–Parents enjoy a very respectable

position in their children’s life. That is reason enough to be close, to try to know, to try to understand what it feels like to be a child or a teenager

Challenges • Understanding the Surroundings–Western Society and Culture–Role of media & technology–The evil they are exposed to –Societal demand for them to

succeed materially– Islamophobic pressure upon them

Challenges • Your knowledge of your Deen–How well versed are you in your deen and

its practical implication in the society as a living way of life.

Challenges • Being able to overcome cultural bias–Are you able to

distinguish between your culture and the actual ruling of the religion?

Some General Advises to Parents

Train Them to Think• You have been given an honorable position, train them to think right not to think the way you want…• Your esteemed position allows you only to bring your children closer to Allah(SWT) and straighten their morals not to make them slaves of society and culture..

• “And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.” (Surah Luqman 31:14)

Nurturing Them• Parents are to children what gardeners are to flowers. The flower has to blossom one day to beautify the garden…but it does need that gentle touch of love and care you know–Allah’s Messenger said, “When night falls (or it is evening),

keep your children close to you for the devils spread out at that time. But when an hour of the night elapses, you can let them free. Close the doors and mention the Name of Allah, for Shaytaan (Satan) does not open a closed door.” — Bukhari 4:523, Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah

Providing Best EducationPut in the best effort

and give them the best in education and the best in discipline...

Aspire and strive to give the best rather

than having your aspirations fulfilled

through them….

Don’t Enforce Ideology

• Not to enforce your ideologies, aspirations or traditions….they will only thwart your child’s love for you.

Be Ready to Learn• Though we parents are chosen by God to teach their children, there are times when they have to learn themselves even if it be from their children..

Practice What You PreachSome things are not taught,

but are inspired and most things are learnt through inspiration…So try to practice what you preach, even if your children are not watching you…

Abu Hurayrah (May Allah be pleased with him) once saw two men. He asked one of them, “How is this man related to you?” He replied, “He is my father.” Abu Hurayrah said, “Do not call him by his name, do not walk in front of him and do not sit before he does – Bukhari