Phonetic Phoolishness by H. L. VogelsangIf you pronounced HEAD, DEAD, and BEADyou’ll hear the last word rhymes with DEEDAnd in this poem you will findmany items of this kind.For instance:DEAR and FEAR and HEAR but BEARGEAR and TEAR but “WEAR and TEAR”YEAST and LEAST and PLEASED but PLEASANTBeast and BREAST and PLEASED but PEASANTMEAT and PEAT but SWEAT and GREATThe last word rhymes with FREIGHT and WEIGHT.Quite different again is HEIGHT.Which sounds like BITE, INDICT and LIGHT.The next line should be read with care:The PRAYING PRAYER SAYS his PRAYER.BEAN and LEAN and MEAN but MEANT,Note “G” in GET, in GEM and GENTVICE but CREVICE – ADVICE – DEVICE,LICE but MALICE – POLICE – CONCISE.We say DREAMT but also DREAMED,The latter rhyming with ESTEEMED.CREW and BLEW and NEW but SEW,COW and ROW but SOW and ROW.MEASLES does not sound like MEASUREThe same applies to TREASON and TREASURE.BRAID and MAID and LAID but SAID,TREAT but THREAT and THREAD and TREAD.A prison is often called JAIL,

Which word is also written as GAOL.Now note the difference with GOAL,Which rhymes with FOAL, and DOLE and ROLL.

First say DANGER then ANGER,Mind the latter rhymes with CLANGOR.COUNT but COUNTRY, SOUTHERN but SOUTH;DISGUISE but BRUISE, YOUTH but MOUTH.AUNT is not like VAUNT and TAUNT,BROOK but BROOCH and BROOD but BLOOD;HOOD but MOOD and FOOD but FLOOD;MINT but PINT and CORK but WORK;DULL and GULL and HULL but FULL.OUR but FLOUR but TOUR and POUR.We say BONE and LONE but GONE.Pronounce your choice like DON or DAWN,TONE and STONE and THRONE but DONE;PHONE and HONE and SCONE but NONE.Now, reader, always bear in mindThe difference between WIND and WIND,The latter rhymes with RIND and KIND.Can you pronounce without mistakes—MacLEOD: RACHEL: PANT: RABIES: SLANT:ACHE: VAN: PETAL: WAN: PENAL: WANT:GRAND and GRANT?I don’t blame you if you can’t

A Jingle of WordsDon’t you love the common wordsIn usage all the time;Words that paint a masterpieceWords that beat a rhyme,Words that sing a melody,Words that leap and run;Words that sway a multitude,Or stir the heart of one?Don’t you love the lively wordsFlicker, leap and flash;Tumble, stumble, pitch and toss,Dive, and dart and dashScramble, pirouette, and prance;Hurtle, hurdle, fling;Waddle, toddle, trot, and dance;Soar and snatch and swing?Don’t you love the noisy wordsClotter, pop, and bang;Scrape and creak and snarl and snortCrash and clash and clang;Crackle, cackle, yowl and yap;Snicker, snare, and sneeze;Screech and bellow, slash and howl;Whistle, whine and wheeze?Don’t you love the colorful –Amber, rose and gold;Orchid, orange, and cerise;Crimson, emerald;

Purple, plum and lavender;Peach and Prussian blue;Turquoise, matrix, jade and jet;Hazel, honeydew?Don’t you love descriptive words –Lantern – jawed and prim;Swarthy, slick, effeminateSloppy, slimy, slim;Chubby, cute, and greedy – eyes,Portly, pale and lean;Mangy, messy, lank and low;Furtive and serene?Yes, with just the common wordsIn usage everywhere,You can capture incidents,Beautiful and rare,In words you have a weaponMore mighty than a gun;You can sway the multitudeOr stir the heart of one.

English is Tough Stuff2Dearest creature in creation,Study English pronunciation.I will teach you in my verseSounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.I will keep you, Suzy, busy,Make your head with heat grow dizzy.Tear in eye, your dress will tear.So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.Just compare heart, beard, and heard,Dies and diet, lord and word,Sword and sward, retain and Britain.(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)Now I surely will not plague youWith such words as plaque and ague.But be careful how you speak:Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;Cloven, oven, how and low,Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.Hear me say, devoid of trickery,Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,Exiles, similes, and reviles;Scholar, vicar, and cigar,Solar, mica, war and far;One, anemone, Balmoral,Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;Gertrude, German, wind and mind,Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.Blood and flood are not like food,Nor is mould like should and would.Viscous, viscount, load and broad,Toward, to forward, to reward.And your pronunciation’s OKWhen you correctly say croquet,Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,Friend and fiend, alive and live.Ivy, privy, famous; clamourAnd enamour rhyme with hammer.River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,Doll and roll and some and home.Stranger does not rhyme with anger,neither does devour with clangour.Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,And then singer, ginger, linger,Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.Query does not rhyme with very,Nor does fury sound like bury.Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.Though the differences seem little,We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.Mint, pint, senate and sedate;Dull, bull, and George ate late.Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,Science, conscience, scientific.Liberty, library, heave and heaven,Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.We say hallowed, but allowed,People, leopard, towed but vowed.Mark the differences, moreover,Between mover, cover, clover;Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,Chalice, but police and lice;Camel, constable, unstable,Principle, disciple, label.Petal, panel, and canal,Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,Senator, spectator, mayor.Tour, but our and succor, four.Gas, alas, and Arkansas.Sea, idea, Korea, area,Psalm, Maria, but malaria.Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.Doctrine, turpentine, marine.Compare alien with Italian,Dandelion and battalion.Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.Say aver, but ever, fever,Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.Heron, granary, canary.Crevice and device and aerie.Face, but preface, not efface.Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.Large, but target, gin, give, verging,Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.Ear, but earn and wear and tearDo not rhyme with here but ere.Seven is right, but so is even,Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.Pronunciation – think of Psyche!Is a paling stout and spikey?Won’t it make you lose your wits,Writing groats and saying grits?It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:Strewn with stones, stowed, solace and gunwale,Islington and Isle of Wight,Housewife, verdict and indict.Finally, which rhymes with enough –Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?Hiccough has the sound of cupMy advice is to give up!!!Phonetic Phoolishness (An Excerpt)3If you pronounce head, dead, and bead,

You’ll hear the last word rhymes with deedAnd in this poem you will findMany items one of a kind.For instance:Dear and fear and hear but bearGear and tear but “wear and tear”Yeast and least and pleased but pleasant,Beast and breast and please but pleasant,Many and peat but seat and great(The last word rhymes with freight and weight).Quite different again is height,Which sounds like bike, indict, and light.The next line should be read with care:The praying prayer says his prayer.Bean and lean and mean but meant;Not “g” in get, in gem and gent.Vice but crevice, advice, device,Lice but malaise, police, concise,We say dreamt but also dreamed(The latter rhyming with esteemed),Grew and row but sow and rowMeasles does not sound like measure;Braid and maid and laid but said,Treat but threat and thread but tread.A prison is often called a jail.Which word is also written: GaolNow note the difference with gaol,Which rhymes with foal and dole and roll.Owl and jowl are not like bowl;

Try fowl and then ghoul and lastly soul,We say freak and streak but steakLeak and freak and speak but breakMeadow has the sound of “ed.”Note: Lead and lead, read and read,Wear but weary, heard but beard,Dread but dreary, earned but feared,Bait and gait and strait but plaid.Leave out the “g” in gnaw and gnat.Sward but sword and word by Lord,Load and toad and road but broad,Cereal does not sound like seal,Real not like zeal and heal.Now have a shot at evil – devil,Reveal and revel; “on the level,”Desert and desert, some and home.Tomb and womb; bomb but comb,Life, alive, live but live,Gauze but gauge; believe but sieve********Should is different from shoulder;The same applied to could and boulder.Bound but wound and rush but push.Lumber – plumber; rush but bushHerring – erring; cloth but both,Eve but ewe and froth – betroth.No “t” is heard in fasten – chasten,Master – plaster; tester and waster,Brocade but decade bow and bow,

Hose but lose, canoe but woe.Can you pronounce without mistake?Macleod – quay – Rachel – achePetal – penal – want – pant – slantVan – rabble – grand and grant?I don’t blame you if you can’t!Worm but form and doll, but toll,Horse but worse and lost but post,Cost and frost but most and ghost,Calm but valve and ball but pal,Tall, but tally; gall but gal,Star and bar and par but war.I wonder if you want some more?If so try realm – created – treatedLeicester – heifer – height – receiptedHeinous – feign – weird – veil – conceitedSheik – sleigh – sleight – skein – sweated – seatedDebated – ate – senate; Can you bear it?Minute differs from minute(The latter rhymes with cute and mute).But – cut – but – gut – hut but putQuite and conduct; suite but suit,Lout, pout, gout and rout but route(Make it rhyme with shoot and fruit).Enough but hiccough; plough but through –All seven different, you know!Then try: schism – schedule – scheme.Preamble differs from ream.Meander from mean,

And cleanse is not pronounced like clean.Mayor but major; down but own,Friend but fiend, and crown but grown,Previous – precious; daughter – draughtLeaf but deal and font but won’t.D’ye know anything so crafty?As these puzzles I bet you don’t,Golf but wolf; chance but change,Raffle – stiff, it does sound strange!Toe – foe – doe and how but shoe.Bug, dub, hug, but huge and Hugh.There are many more BUT these will do!