Philip Whitaker, Jan 2016 1

Challenging Behaviour:Challenging Thinking

6 thoughts to consider

2

Shouting

Swearing Hitting Kicking Scratching Biting Spitting Uncooperative Temper tantrum Damaging property Grabbing Dropping to ground Not doing as told Defiant Obsessive interests Attention seeking Pulling hair Throwing objects Avoiding demands Self-injury Pinching

So count how many of these you’ve done at

some time in your

life?

3

Find someone to talk to Introduce yourself Talk (briefly) about one example of your

challenging behaviour: Pretend it was a long long time ago Try to explain why you did it (from your perspective—at that

time) Give the other person a turn

A show of hands—how many behaviours 0-4 5-8 9-12 12-15

And the really bad boys and girls---16+??????

4

Shouting 100%

Swearing 100% Hitting 100% Kicking 50% Scratching 7% Biting 28% Spitting 7% Uncooperative 100% Temper tantrum 70% Damaging property 30% Grabbing 100% Dropping to ground 7% Not doing as told 100% Defiant 70% Obsessive interests 28% Attention seeking 100% Pulling hair 70% Throwing objects 60% Avoiding demands 100% Self-injury 15% Pinching 70%

You are not

alone!!!!

5

So what?

Challenging behaviour is ‘normal’ Most of us have the capacity to challenge—especially...

When we’re over stressed When we can’t cope with the demands of a situation When we can’t get what we really need/want

Challenging behaviour is often: An attempt to solve a problem An attempt to get a particular outcome Telling us something about what the person is

feeling/experiencing (even if they are not intentionally communicating)

6

Challenging thoughts 1 + 2 Challenging behaviour often means

something To change behaviour, you have to try and

make sense of the behaviour It may not always be possible And it’s (mostly) not about empathy for the child It’s not about excusing It’s about putting you in the best position to do

something practical about it

77

HITTING (in the playground)

‘It’s a blizzard of kids’

He has to be the RED Power

Ranger!!!

No-one will play with me—I feel bad so I’ll make them feel bad too

Lets play chasing What am I

supposed to be

doing?

An example from the world of autism

WHY ‘S IT IMPORTANT TO KNOW?He knows exactly

what he’s doing!

Emily Social difficulties

Isolated and lonely—lacking support or friendship Unable to ‘read’ other people’s feelings

High anxiety Lack of flexibility: poisonous thoughts

Perfectionism—oughtism—obsessed with A grades Highly anxious if routines not followed Panicking and ‘catastrophising’

Unusual sensory responses Sounds louder, black and white still pictures

Communication Struggles to express needs, can’t do chat 8

Strangling Charlie

9

So what? Notice the way Emily’s thinking drives the

problem Managing the problem depended on:

Making sense of what was happening and....... Dealing with some of the underlying issues: the lack

of support, feelings of isolation (a lot of prevention) Recognizing the early warning signs that had been

missed (and why some of the strategies hadn’t worked)

Helping her develop self-management strategies Managing—not solving/eliminating/curing

10

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Challenging thought 3

Challenge your own thoughts about the child and his behaviour (listen to those voices in your head)

Someone cuts us up when we’re driving Probably just passed his test Doesn’t know his way-worried he’ll miss a turning He’s obviously got a small willy I’m sick and tired of people who….. He’s not dissing me……..I’ll show the………

12

Closer to home?

It’s just-attention seeking

He knows exactly what he’s doing

He’s making bad choices

13

What the child/YP does

What we tell ourselves

•Did he mean to do it?•Why did he do it?•Does he know any better?

What we feel

What we do

+

Never underestimate its impact on

Challenging thought 4 You may need to manage your own

thoughts about yourself In 2s and 3s

List 5 feelings that challenging behaviour provokes in you Be honest as you can Respect confidentiality

Working with challenging behaviour means: Experiencing powerful feelings (especially anger and guilt) Not always getting it right Not always behaving as reasonably or skilfully as you would like

It can get right to the core of you14

Challenging thought 4 (cont) You may need to manage your own

thoughts about yourself Your own flashpoints and triggers

Not getting your own ‘stuff’ mixed up with the situation Learning how to manage yourself

Monitoring yourself—feelings and thoughts Agreed strategies for getting help or stepping away Having a ‘quiet place’ that helps you stand back (in

your head) ‘Acting the part’ (breathing, posture, non-verbals,

self-talk) But not like this

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16

Challenging thought 4Watch out for.............. Anxiety brings out our inner autie: watch out for

rigid thinking I have to be perfect I have to win (and the pupil has to lose) No-one gets the better of me

I’ve got to do something......NOW! I have to cope

I can’t ask for help I shouldn’t be feeling like this—no-one else does

I can’t cope It’ll never end It’ll end in tears This is all my fault

17

Challenging thought 5 What we think (and feel) about

reward/punishment/motivation And where this all fits into managing

challenging behaviour

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Some common thoughts—and challenges Our first port of call?

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1. Understand the autism/attachment disorder/ADHD..........

3. Stop and think: what does this mean:•What results is he trying to achieve?•What does it say about how he’s feeling?

5. Replace the problem: teach new skills—‘grow’ other behaviour

4. Plan for prevention

2. Make sense of the behaviour: ask the right questions

6. Change the results of the behaviour

Settings Triggers Results

Some common thoughts—and challenges Our first port of call? Our only port of call? Rewards and punishments influence

motivation So if the problem is ‘not trying hard enough to .....’, then

they may be a very useful tool BUT motivation doesn’t make the impossible

possible—it just makes the possible more likely to happen

If the child doesn’t have the understanding or skills, no amount of motivation (on its own) will work

Motivation has to happen alongside preventive strategies And teaching new skills

21

Thoughts that may get in the way of good practice “We expect good behaviour” “They’ll get rewards when they’re good” “The bad kids get all the rewards” Can all sabotage our use of incentives:

Too little Too rarely Setting the bar too high Using a ‘reward’ that doesn’t motivate that child If the pupil has nothing, you’ve got nothing to take away

Think about yourselves22

3 days into a New Year How many of you have made New Year

resolutions? How many of you: Have broken one or more already? Think you’ll stick to at least one? Think it’s going to be easy?

Change is hard Youngsters need rewards for improving Youngsters deserve rewards for trying And for coping with things they find difficult

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And punishment? Punishment to make us feel better Punishment to motivate the other pupils Not ‘letting them get away with it’:

punishment as justice Punishment as a tool for change?

To teach what NOT TO do To influence motivation To teach what TO do? As the only or main tool for change?

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Challenging thought 6 Looking after yourself is a need, a right—and a

duty Doing what you can for the child/YP

But recognizing it may not always be your best—or be enough

Acknowledging and managing stress Building and maintaining support for yourself

Systems and structures (if you’re lucky) Colleagues and relationships (hopefully)

Doing things for you What helps you cope? Discuss in pairs and list on post-its Display these on the sheets—and see what others have written

Take care—and thank you