Sparrow 4

Shelbey SparrowProfessor Robert ArnoldUWRT 1101-07311 September 2015Personal Literacy NarrativeSince my parents were officially divorced by the time I was two, I struggled with the idea of love for a very long time. How could two people think they loved each other enough to conceive a child only to be broken up within a year? It didnt make sense and the struggle of this concept haunted me for a quite some time. It wasnt until August 21, 2015, Move-in day, that I felt like I had truly mastered the concept and ideas of love. As I stood in my new room in Hawthorn hall and kissed my mom, dad, step mom, and grandparents goodbye I realized that love is expressed in all different ways and that I was literate in so many different kinds of love. Learning to love my mom, dad, step mom, and grandparents, or my 5 parental units, all differently was quite a challenge. Each of them have different love languages and express and feel love differently. My mom, for example, has to take care of people in order to express her love. She likes to know everything thats going on and how I feel about every situation Im in. As Im sure you understand, this is an annoying trait to most teenagers. I did not have the desire to tell my mom everything about what was going on and would often reply with snippy remarks such as Its none of your business quit asking. I did this for quite a few years until one time I went a little too far and she burst into tears. She looked at me and said all I care about is that you are being taken care of and being treated as the wonderful person that you are. At that moment, I realized that thats what she needed for her to feel love from me. She needed me to tell her about things so she felt like I wanted her involved. So from then on, in order to express love to my mother I had to keep her involved. I found it easier to just go ahead and tell her whats going on instead of making her ask. She seemed to be a lot more content with our relationship after I started sharing things with her, even if it was just the little things, such as me not being confident about the calculus test I had taken or what I had for lunch. My dad on the other hand, does not show emotion on a normal basis in any way, whether it be love, hate or just happiness. It took me up until I was 10 to think he even had emotions. One night about 8 years ago, my dad and step mom got into a huge argument and she packed up some of her stuff and left. I, being very close with my step mom at the time, was very distraught. I sat on my bed and cried thinking she was never going to come back. At one point, my dad came in to check on me and I recall throwing a stuffed animal at him and screaming that it was his fault she was gone. He didnt take this as I thought he would, expecting him to just shrug it off and not care. He walked further into my room sat on my bed and burst into tears. Feeling awful about the situation, I crawled over next to him and hugged him then apologized. Through his tears, he whispered I might have just lost my second favorite girl, I dont need to lose my first favorite also. This coming from a man who doesnt even say love you at the end of a phone conversation, completely and utterly broke me. From then on out I had a solid understanding of my dads emotions. They did exist. Just not in the way that most peoples did. My dad didnt need much to feel loved and appreciated, but when dramatic things happened he needed a little pat on the back, and not a shove in the wrong direction like I had given him that night. Now, my dad and step mom have two beautiful kids and Ive still never seen him cry like that, not even on the day of their birth. With both my parents I had an enlightening moment that made me realize what I needed to do to make them feel loved at all times. My step mom was a different story. We had a great relationship until my freshman year of high school. My dad and step mom had asked how I felt about going to live with them, and doing what any freshman girl would do I chose to stay at that high school I was already at and continue to live with my mom. Even though they had asked for my opinion, they chose to take my mom to court for custody anyway. I was very upset and felt completely betrayed. Up until this point I would have heart-to-heart conversations with my step mom whenever I was feeling down or had gotten into an argument with my mother. This all back fired when we got to court, because everything I had confided in her was used against me. In the end I got what I wanted and was able to stay with my mom, but my relationship with my step mom was completely in shambles. We didnt even utter hellos when we saw each other. It took me a long time to realize that my step mom was doing what she felt was right for me and not just being evil. She was expressing her love for me by doing what she felt was necessary to protect me even if it hurt my feelings. This made me literate in another aspect of love, tough love. I now have to use this with my little siblings all the time. Even if itll make them upset, I must pull them away from sticking their finger in the electrical socket to keep them safe. My step mom was trying to pull me away from what she thought was dangerous. Finally one of my last sponsors of my love literacy is my grandparents. Theyve showed me what unconditional love is for a significant other. Theyve never been incredibly showy with their public affection, but about a month ago I was packing for college and they both just disappeared. I finished what I was doing and went downstairs to look for them, and what I came to find was heartbreaking and uplifting all in one. My grandma was laying on her bed pale white and looking sickly and my grandfather was tearing up while holding a towel to her head. Later I asked my grandpa what had happened and he said that she suddenly fell faint and needed to rest. I brought up how upset he looked and with tears in his eyes he said I couldnt imagine my life without her and taking care of her like that made me realize how quickly she could fall ill. This showed me how unconditional their love was and taught me what its like to love someone in that way. Even though all of these people taught me love in their various ways, they dont agree with each other in any way what so ever. However, they all agreed to help me move in to my dorm together. This was an odd situation and put me in a lot of rough spots throughout the day. I was trying to listen to everyones input and make everyone happy. Eventually when I finally finished they were all standing around and chit chatting to one another and me and everything Ive done. Each one of them with a smile on their faces and proud words coming out of their mouths. I looked back at all of them and noticed that they had all put their differences aside to help me celebrate an important milestone in my life, because they loved me. Over the course of my life Ive learned people love differently and show it differently and that you have to adjust to each person to show love the way that they prefer.