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“Personal Excellence is the only reading you’ll need todo for continual self-improvement both personally andprofessionally!”

—Sharlene Hawkes, Former Miss America, award-winning ESPN broadcaster

Erin GruwellFreedom Writers

November 2007

ReclaimYour Life

Walk YourSpiritual Path

with Practical Feet

Walk YourSpiritual Path

with Practical Feet

Your BestLife

Your BestLife

ReclaimYour Life

Catalystfor Change

Catalystfor Change

INSIDEJIM MADRIDSelf-Responsibility ..........................12JOHN W. THOMPSONCelebrate Success............................13HOWARD L. MILLMANTurn Pain to Joy .............................14DENIS WAITLEYStudent of Service...........................14LINDA EDGECOMBEGet a Life and Lead.........................15KEN SHELTONSpiritual Paths................................16ANN MINCEYGet Glowing .....................................16

Exercise Your HopeA c h i e v e w h e n n o o n e e l s e b e l i e v e s .

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eby Andrew Razeghi

IT ALL STARTED WHEN I GOT LOST. A FEW YEARSago, the State of Alaska invited me to give a

keynote speech on innovation at an annualgathering of state employees and profession-als. Arriving early, I opted to take a drive intothe bush—to get back to nature and experi-ence the last frontier up close and personal.My destination was Hope, Alaska’s first goldrush town.

I embarked upon my journey with a super-sized cup of black coffee, nomap, and Mother Nature asmy co-pilot. About one hour’sdrive into Alaska’s majesticwilderness, on a weather-beat-en road to a once-celebratedtown called Hope, I encoun-tered a road sign: AvalancheArea. Next 1.5 miles. Do notstop. Amused, I got out of mycar and took a picture of it.“Stupid tourist,” I laterthought, “but what a greatphoto!” Fortunately, nothinghappened to me physically. However, spiritu-ally, that moment had a profound effect onme. On the road to Hope, Alaska, stands apoetically coincidental life lesson: Drive beyondfear. Do not stop. Hope is just around the corner.

Before that experience, I considered hope tobe synonymous with optimism—the oppositeof which was pessimism or hopelessness.However, I then realized that the opposite ofhope is not hopelessness—the opposite ofhope is fear. Hope and fear comprise a beliefsystem—one that encourages us to hang on to(or give up on) our dreams. This belief systempropels us forward (hope) and holds us back(fear). Your job is to live your life “net posi-tive”. This starts by re-thinking how you

GREGG COCHLANLove Leadership ................................3NATHANIAL BRANDENHealthy Self-Esteem .........................4JOYCE WEISSReclaim Your Life .............................4ALAN GREGERMANUnlock Your Curiosity .....................5HERBERT HARRIS12 Principles ......................................6ERIN GRUWELLCatalyst for Change..........................6DOUGLAS VERMEERENAchieving Goals................................7

ROBERT PAGLIARINICan You Quit Yet? ...........................8EDWARD WEBBHave Enough ....................................8NARINDER DUGGAL/LESLIE VANROMERSeven Sleep Myths ...........................9NANCY D. O’REILLYTravel Smart Tips ...............................10OPRAH WINFREY AND BOB GREENYour Best Life ................................10DIANNA BOOHERCommunication ..............................11SIMON BAILEYAuthentic Connection ....................12

define hope followed by a healthy dose of exer-cising your hope muscles.

First, think about hope differently. Considerthe experience of Vaclav Havel, playwright andformer president of the Czech Republic. Whilein seclusion as a political dissident, Havelwrote to a friend who inquired about his hope,by saying, “Hope is definitely not the samething as optimism. It is not the conviction thatsomething will turn out well, but the certainty

that something makes sense,regardless of how it turns out.This hope gives us strength tolive and continually to try newthings, even in conditions thatseem as hopeless, as ours dohere and now.” Havel and hiscountry were triumphant intheir fight for freedom againstcommunism—not simplybecause of what they believed,but also because of why theybelieved. They knew what theywere doing was right. They

exercised their beliefs through writing, publicdemonstrations, and sometimes even silence—an unwillingness to go along with “the waythings were.”

Second, exercise your beliefs. To quoteGeoffrey Canada, founder of the HarlemChildren’s Zone, dedicated to giving America’smost disenfranchised youth a shot at theAmerican dream: “I tell our kids that they haveto exercise their hope muscles. It is in life’smost challenging moments that you have theopportunity to believe more deeply.”

Five Ways to Exercise BeliefsFollow these five steps to exercising your

beliefs and building your hope muscles:

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S P I R I T U A L • HOPE

Volume 12 Issue 11Personal Excellence is published monthly byExecutive Excellence Publishing, 1806 North1120 West, Provo, UT 84604.POSTMASTER: Send address changes toExecutive Excellence Publishing, CirculationDept., P.O. Box 50360, Provo, UT 84605-0360.

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Copyright © 2007 Executive ExcellencePublishing. No part of this publication may bereproduced or transmitted in any form withoutwritten permission from the publisher.Quotations must be credited.

Play to your strengths. Paul Orfalea, avery successful entrepreneur, is also dyslex-ic. In high school, due to his “learning dis-ability”, Paul’s counselor suggested to hismother that she enroll him in some voca-tional training classes. His mother pulledPaul from the counselor’s office, lookedPaul in the eyes and said, “Paul, the A stu-dents work for the B students. The C stu-dents run the businesses. And the D and Fstudents dedicate the buildings.” Mom wasright. Over 1,200 stores now bear Paul’s col-lege nickname—Kinko (for his kinky redhair). Paul never lost hope in himself, notonly because someone had hope in him butalso because he never tried to be somethinghe wasn’t. Early in his career, Paul realizedhis greatest strengths resided in two areas:the numbers and the people. And so, hepoured himself into both. He studied thefinancial side of the retail photocopy busi-ness and saw a way to make a profit. Healso understood people and what theywanted. One executive whoworked for Paul said, “Peopleloved working for Paul when heowned the company. People want-ed to follow him because hebelieved in them.” We lose hopewhen we try to be something weare not. This is when we fail. Writedown your strengths. Play to them.Outsource your weaknesses.

Never hope alone. Once you’ve identifiedyour strengths, surround yourself with peo-ple who believe in you. There is no greatergift you can give someone that to let themhelp you. The greatest irony of hope is thatwhile everyone loves a dreamer, no onewants to be called one. You are such a dreamerMartin Luther King! You must be kidding,Mother Teresa! You are going to do what,Mahatma Gandhi? You cannot lose hope ifyou are not alone. Maintain your hope bysurrounding yourself with people whobelieve in you. Pull your fans into yourgame. Write down the six individuals whohelp you “figure things out”. For each ofthese people, write down how this personmakes you a better person. What exactlydoes he or she do? Then, make deliberateappointments with these folks. Go to them.Create your own coaching panel for whatyou hope to achieve.

Know the details of the situation.Financial services innovator Charles Schwabrecalled, “When I started in this business,the first thing that I did was study theindustry. I studied the products—how theywere priced, what benefits they provided,what the margins were, and who benefitedthe most. It began my thinking that the oldways of doing things were wrought withconflicts. I then had the courage—thehope—to go into the discount brokeragebusiness.” Hopeful leaders do not act with

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reckless abandon. They don’t simply breakthe rules. They study the small stuff. Knowthe details. Write them down, but don’t getlost in them. Once you fully understand thesituation, step back from it and ask, What doesall this mean? Then, make a decision to act.

Focus on the task, not on the objective.Between 1995 and 1997, tennis star AndreAgassi fell from the World’s No. 1 player toNo. 141. Not content with his fate, he decid-ed to turn things around, ultimately winningthe 2002 French Open and regaining his topspot. Agassi credits a specific tactic for hiscomeback, “Each day I got up I’d write downone thing that I could do that day. It didn’tmatter what I wanted over the longer-term, itwas only about that day.” People lose hopewhen what they hope to achieve seems so faraway. Break it down. Focus on the task notthe objective. What can you do in the nexthour to work toward your goal? Make thatcall. Send that letter. Do something to makehope happen. And leave your regrets at the

door. Heed Andre’s advice: “Everytime I think about things I couldhave done differently,” Agassi said,“I take a lot of pleasure in the factthat I’m still here doing things theway I want.”

When others fail to see whatyou believe, change the story (notyour beliefs). Joseph Strauss had adream: build the Golden Gate

Bridge. However, to get the job done, he hadto persuade citizens living on both sides ofthe bridge—San Francisco and MarinCounty—that the bridge was a worthyendeavor. His story for selling his dream toMarin County was simple: transportation. Ifwe build it, you can get back and forth fromthe city efficiently. Marin didn’t care. Theycould take the ferry system to cross the bay.So, Strauss simply changed his story. Hewent back to the people of Marin and toldthem that a bridge would have a positiveeffect on the value of their real estate. Hewon their support. We often lose hope whenwe try to convince others that what webelieve is worthy of their attention.Sometimes that story doesn’t make sense topeople. Rather than give up on your dreams,create a new story to sell your dreams.

By practicing these steps, you’ll build yourhope muscles. You’ll believe more deeply inthose things that matter most to you. Alongthe way, heed the advice of Simon Peter,“Always be ready to give an explanation foryour hope.” As a hopeful person you will for-ever be an oddity to others. Make them won-der why you’re still smiling. PE

Andrew Razeghi is adjunct associate professorat the Kellogg School of Management atNorthwestern University and author of Hope:How Triumphant Leaders Create the Future(Jossey-Bass). Andrew@andrewrazeghi.com.

ACTION: Be a more hopeful person.

turesome group that adapts more easilyto change.

5. Share accountability and encour-age people to own results. It is difficultto innovate in an organization whereaccountability has been given up to aleader or people feel that they have agun to their heads. Leaders who stopviewing people as disposable arerewarded with elevated effort,enhanced performance, more creativethinking, and greater flexibility andadaptability. Knowing your boss caresabout you as a person makes you caremore about your employer. The sameholds true for members of a project orteam. Team members no longer give upaccountability for the success of a pro-ject, they willingly accept a share in it,and by owning it, help accomplish it.When a team leader or boss has a prob-lem, so does everyone.

6. Throw people safely out of order.Love Leadership stretches comfort zonesand throws people out of their routinesto create a sense of adventure and possi-bility. If you throw people out of order,but ignore their humanity and dignity,you create a defensive culture—andhow can you expect a positive result? Tosuccessfully challenge people’s habits,attitudes, beliefs and expectations, youneed to create a safe environment wherethey can willingly change. A safe envi-ronment means it is okay to make mis-takes and even to fall short of goals. Atthe same time, when you let peopleknow that it is okay to fall down, youalso must let them know that it is notokay to stay down. They will live up toexpectations because they begin to havethose expectations of themselves.

7. Accept constructive criticism. Eventhough Love Leadership accepts mis-takes, it does not let people off the hook.In fact, you never provide an escapehatch for people to be less than theycould be. You also never use fear as aweapon. If you care enough about yourteam to throw them out of order andchallenge their habits, you will ultimatelyhave people challenging some of yours.As a love leader, you also have to beopen to the fact that when someone caresabout you, they will want to help youavoid or correct your mistakes. You’ll beliving up to your potential as well.

Love Leadership is the best way toreal success, as a business leader and asa human being. And truly, how separateare these two aspects of our lives? PE

Gregg Cochlan is CEO of thinc., an affiliate of The PacificInstitute, and author of Love Leadership. Visitwww.loveleadership.com or email cochlan@sasktel.net.

ACTION: Practice love leadership.

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S O C I A L • L O V E unleash the talent, energy, innovation,productivity and creativity in their peo-ple. A top-down, command-and-con-trol, or divide-and-conquer leadershipstyle adds layers of protective armor,so you learn to bury your natural self.You learn to layer those styles over ourown to protect yourself. Love Leader-ship requires peeling away those layersof other, less effective styles.

3. Love leadership is the “new nor-mal.” Love Leadership, as a new wayto lead people, creates a “new normal”of what we find acceptable, possible,and desirable. When you’re driven bycompassion and love for others, theway you do things reflects that. Attimes, you have to make tough deci-sions. You may have to fire someone,but you certainly do not have todegrade them. Love Leadership

trumps the dehumanizing behavior wesee in some cultures, allowing you toprotect the dignity of the individual.

4. Authenticity is the key to LoveLeadership. Authenticity is the key toeffective leadership, but we often coverup our authentic selves, because itmeans allowing ourselves to be openand vulnerable. However, when you’redealing with someone who isn’t authen-tic, you tend to be guarded. Think aboutit. Your instinctive response to anotherperson’s “phoniness” is to be protectiveand pretentious. In an environment richin pretense, no one knows who any-body really is or how anybody willreact, because they may react in differ-ent ways at different times based onwho’s in the room. This behavior costsyou money. Love Leadership gives youpermission to be who you are, whichinspires others to trust you. And,because it is fearless, Love Leadershipbecomes a great adventure. It preparesyou and your team to take risks andadapt to change. Change is constant,and resistance to change is equally con-stant. Love Leadership positivelyimpacts your ability to accept, ratherthan resist, change. Through your lead-ership style, you create a more adven-

by Gregg Cochlan

COMBINING LOVE AND LEAD-ership makes sense.

When Warren Buffet wasasked how he would define success, hesaid, “For me, if the people who youhope love you, do, that’s success.” Sincelove is the single most important ele-ment in human life, it seems surprisingthat the words “love” and “leadership”are rarely linked. Love brings out thebest in people, so why not use it to lead?

I am not talking here about “heartsand flowers” but about caring aboutpeople enough to hold them account-able and responsible for achievinghigher performance, greater productivi-ty, and wider functionality.

Here are seven principles:1. Positive approaches draw people

to you. Love-inspired leadership neverforgets the dignity of the individual.This implies respect for human dignityin all circumstances, a belief in humanpotential, and a commitment to fosterthat potential. Attributes such as hon-esty, integrity, courage and abundanceare part of a Love Leadership style. Asyou nurture and express these attributes,you come closer to your core as a loveleader. Although the focus of LoveLeadership is not on productivity, it nat-urally brings out more productivity frompeople. When people believe you valuethem as human beings, they respond bybecoming more creative, loyal, willing,productive, innovative, and adaptable tochange. Love Leadership still demandsperformance and accountability, butchanges the paradigm of how it isachieved. Love Leadership takes courageand an authentic way of interacting as ahuman being.

2. Injecting love into your leadershipreduces your fear of embarrassment,failure, or rejection. Some leaders areafraid of the word “love.” It impliescommitment, emotional connection,and a relationship. If your leadershipstyle makes people fearful and angry,they won’t take risks, move forwardwith a positive attitude, be adventur-ous or welcome change. And thatseverely limits accomplishment. Thosewho practice Love Leadership don’t doit because they want people to likethem. They do it because they want to

Love LeadershipMake good things happen.

• Self-assertiveness: Express appropri-ately your thoughts, values and feelings;stand up for yourself; speak and actfrom your deepest convictions.• Purposeful living: Set goals and work

to achieve them, rather than living at themercy of chance and outside forces.• Integrity: Integrate your behavior

with your ideals, convictions, standards,and what you believe is right.

You may ignore your needs and wantsto concentrate on living up to others’expectations. Self-esteem requires you tolisten to and respect your own sensa-tions, insights, intuition, and perspective.Developing the six pillars of self-esteem isa life-long, worthy challenge. PE

Nathanial Branden is the author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Visit www.NatanielBranden.com.

ACTION: Cultivate these six pillars of self-esteem.

by Nathanial Branden

AS SOCIETY BECOMES MOREcomplex, competitive,

and challenging, self-esteemis vital to improve performance.

Self-esteem has two basic components:• Self-efficacy: You have confidence in

your ability to cope with life challengesand a sense of control over your life.• Self-respect: You experience yourself

as deserving of happiness, achievement,love, and sense of community with others.

Self-esteem is self-reinforcing. Whenyou have confidence in your ability tothink and act effectively, you perseverewhen faced with difficult challenges,you form nourishing relationships, youexpect more of life and of yourself, andyou succeed more often than you fail. Ifyou lack confidence, you give up easily,fail more often, aspire to less, and henceyou get less of what you want.

Self-esteem is vital to well-being, butits presence doesn’t make life problem-free. People with high self-esteem mayexperience anxiety, depression, or fearwhen overwhelmed by complex issues.

I think of self-esteem as an immunesystem. A healthy immune system can’tguarantee you won’t become ill, but itreduces your susceptibility to illness andimproves your odds for a speedy recov-ery. Likewise, strong self-esteem makesyou resilient in the face of difficulties.

People who are arrogant or boastfulshow a lack of self-esteem. Those whoare comfortable with themselves andtheir achievements take pleasure inbeing who they are—without boasting.

Becoming successful, powerful, orwell liked does not automatically conferhigh self-esteem. In fact, talented andpowerful people who doubt their corevalue are usually unable to find joy intheir achievements—no matter howgreat their success. Self-esteem has todo with what you think of you, not whatanyone else thinks of you.

Affirmations are also of marginalvalue in raising self-esteem. Tellingyourself you’re capable and lovableaccomplishes little if you are operatingirresponsibly in key areas of your life.

Genetic inheritance and parental up-bringing also play powerful roles. Parentswith strong self-esteem may induce thatquality in their children. They raise themwith love and acceptance, believing in

by Joyce Weiss

WHEN YOU FACE ADVERSITYor see or hear a doom-

and-doom picture of thefuture, you must be positive to perse-vere, regain your enthusiasm for life,and focus on the tasks at hand. Youthen create a mindset that preventsnegativity and renders three benefits:

Benefit 1: You discover opportunitiesfor growth. When a challengecomes, you naturally want tofocus on the negative event.You’re unable to let go of thehurt, pain, or sorrow. This isprecisely when you mustrefocus your thinking and getback on track. Are you afraidto spend money? Did youlose a loved one? Is your jobin jeopardy? Now, look at thescenarios from a different perspective.Play the “what if” game. What if youtalked with your boss about moving toa new department or rearranged yourschedule to spend more time with yourfamily? The more you try to see thechallenges in a new light, the moreyou’ll uncover growth opportunities.

Benefit 2: Worries about the futuredisappear. Rather than waste precioustime worrying about the future and letworrying cripple your sense of well-being, take time to see the good that’sgoing on around you. Take some timefor yourself. While making a living is a

vital part of life, enjoying your life andliving a fulfilled life are equally impor-tant. So, momentarily slow down.Enjoy nature, talk with others, andenjoy their company. When you enjoywhat’s in front of you now, you releasethe worry and frustration.

Benefit 3: You open the path to newgoals. The most effective way to takeaction during any challenge is to makechanges. Sadly, change is the last thingyou want to experience during a crisishowever, change forces you to grow.Take some time to sit down and re-eval-uate your personal goals. The directionyou wanted to take six months ago maynot seem important any longer. Talkwith your family and ask what new

goals or dreams they have aswell. Agree as a group on theobjectives the family wants,and then write down yourpersonal goals. Outline whatyou need to do to make thosegoals a reality, and then takeaction. Develop a “have tohave it, can’t live without it”proposition, such as “Theonly option is success.” If

you want something badly enough andwork hard for it, you can succeed. Whenyou focus on your revised plan, you’llregain enthusiasm and zeal for life.

How well you carry on during a cri-sis is an indicator of your emotionalstrength. Take steps to reclaim your lifeso no tragedy can hinder your growth.Facing and overcoming challenge sendsa message that you will survive—andwin—in the face of adversity. PE

Joyce Weiss is a speaker and facilitator on employeeperformance. Visit www.joyceweiss.com.

ACTION: Gain these three benefits.

E M O T I O N A L • SELF-ESTEEM

Reclaim Your LifeEven during chaotic times.

Healthy Self-EsteemYou can develop the six pillars.

E M O T I O N A L • ADVERSITY

their competence and setting reasonablerules and expectations. Yet some of thesechildren become self-doubting adults,while others who survive tough child-hoods grow up with strong self-worth.

Six Pillars of Self-EsteemYou can strengthen self-esteem by

following six self-examination practicesthat I call the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem:• Conscious living: Attend to feedback

about needs and goals; face facts that areuncomfortable; refuse to wander throughlife in a self-induced mental fog.• Self-acceptance: Experience whatev-

er you truly think, feel or do; face andlearn from your mistakes.• Self-responsibility. Establish a sense

of control over your life by realizingyou are responsible for your choices,actions, goals, values, and happiness.

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3. Ask stimulating questions whenyou have the chance. Start asking morequestions at every meeting, event, orgathering you lead or are invited toattend. Try to challenge yourself andyour friends and colleagues, in a positiveway, to question everything you aredoing with the objective of determiningwhether there might be a better way. Youmight even ask people to think aboutwhat should be done to be perfect, faster,more responsive, or more remarkable. Orthink about what it means to create acompelling performance.

4. Become your customer’s best stu-dent. Hang out with those you choose toserve and learn as much as you canabout their world and the challenges theyface. Then invite them on some of yourjourneys of discovery to explore andunlock new ideas and possibilitiestogether. Create a new and more com-pelling conversation together that chal-lenges both of you to anticipate yourevolving needs and imagine a more com-pelling picture of your future success.

5. Make friends with unusual people.Talk to people whose work and ideasfascinate you to learn how they use theircuriosity and passion to deliver value forthose they choose to serve. Befriend peo-ple whom you admire. Get to knowartists who stretch your thinking and dosomething different that matters. Getinvolved in organizations that are mak-ing a difference in your community,especially ones that bring together peo-ple from many walks of life. Tutor achild who will also mentor you on howthey see the world. Build the best, mostdiverse network possible with peoplewho have varied interests, perspectives,and ways of thinking about things thatmatter to them. It’s a great way to keepyour thinking fresh and relevant.

6. Cast an even wider net. Look tonature, history, geography, and thegenius of other people and other cul-tures as a source of great inspiration.Seek to understand what other peopleand other creatures know so clearly andhow it might apply to your world andthe world of those you choose to serve.

Discover the song that lives insideyou. The greatest skill that you possessis a sense of curiosity and possibility.And that skill is heightened when youapply it to things that interest you andreally matter. Stop saying that you arenot curious and creative. You are bornwith these gifts. So put them to use! PE

Alan Gregerman is the author of Surrounded byGeniuses and Lessons from the Sandbox. Visitwww.alangregerman.com or www.venture-works.com.

ACTION: Cultivate your curiosity and creativity.

M E N TA L • C U R I O S I T Y

deliver compelling value for the cus-tomers you serve. The more ideas youunlock, the more likely you’ll make apowerful connection between new anddifferent thinking and the importantneeds of those you serve—althoughyou might have to put ideas togetherthat don’t seem to belong together inorder to unlock unique value.

Da Vinci didn’t talk to humans abouthow to fly because they had no ideahow to do it. He studied birds. Severalmore centuries passed before the firstairplane, but it wasn’t for a lack of think-ing differently about the magic of flight.There are countless examples of break-throughs, large and small, that comefrom looking at the world differently.

3. Turn your curiosity into action. Bydoing these things, you’ll strengthenyour ability to deliver greater genius tothose you choose to serve in your life.

Six Ways to GeniusIf you need help getting comfortable

with your potential toexplore, think and create,here are six things youcan do today:

1. Expand your readinghorizons. Subscribe toand read at least threemagazines or journalsthat interest you andfocus on new ideas thathave nothing to do withyour daily work or yourpersonal or volunteer life.

Then start to broaden the array ofbooks and sources of information andinspiration you expose yourself to. Youmight also want to make regular visitsto your favorite bookstore or library.

2. Hit the road in search of newideas. Take mini-excursions to unlockfresh ideas and new ways of doingthings. Create a mix of “planned”activities where you go to a specificplace that is likely to offer real insightfor a particular problem or opportuni-ty, and “unplanned” wanderings withyour eyes wide open to possibilities.And pay attention to all of the nothingsthat really seem to matter and all of thepromises that are being made and kept.Look at signs and billboards along theway, and pause to overhear other peo-ple’s conversations.

by Alan Gregerman

IF YOU HOPE TO BE MOREenergized, innovative and

successful, you’ll be excitedto know that the most essential require-ment is a talent you are born with—thegift of curiosity. So stop complainingthat you’re not creative and followthese three steps to make a difference:

1. Find the song in you. Think aboutwhat really matters to you. There is awonderful, “song” in you that is wait-ing to be sung but is rarely expressed.And with the passage of time, it oftenseems harder for you to bring it out. Yetyou are far more likely to be brilliantwhen you believe that something isworthy of your best efforts. That meansfinding the place that inspires you tomake a compelling difference. Thenacknowledge that you can make a com-pelling difference, and that all you needto succeed is a bit of inspiration and theright insight and circumstances. Butyou’ll have to stretch a bit,and that means broaden-ing your curiosity andknowledge of yourself, the“customers” you serve inyour life, and the limits ofyour imagination.

2. Unlock your curiosity.Look at your challenges andopportunities with an openmind and seek a better orunique way to solve them.Challenge yourself to bemore observant and to cast a wider net insearch of ideas and insight. Look aroundyou at things you might be taking forgranted. Then think differently about thebest sources of inspiration. Put yourselfin places filled with new and differentideas and fresh ways of thinking.

Read everything you can that isinteresting, different, and compelling.Attend seminars and conferenceswhere they talk about ideas that mat-ters to different people. Listening,observing, and exposing yourself tonew ideas is the best way to get yourcreativity flowing. Make it part of yourroutine to discover compelling ideasfrom other industries and other walksof life. Set aside time each day or atleast each week to look for new ideasthat could, with the proper tinkering,

Unlock Your CuriosityYo u w i l l a c h i e v e g r e a t e r s u c c e s s .

10. See possibilities and seize oppor-tunities. Believe that there is always away to achieve the desired results. Be apossibility thinker.

11. Be persistent. Persist in effortswith unshakable faith in your ability.Leaders never quit, and quitters neverlead. Be impervious to the fear ofchange, criticism, and failure, and dowhatever it takes, for as long as it takes,to achieve the desired outcomes.

12. Seek truth in all situations. Seethrough appearances to the truth of allsituations. All things operate in accordwith basic laws of success and accom-plishment. So master the skills of dis-cernment, intuition, and initiative. PE

Herbert Harris is author of the Twelve Universal Laws ofSuccess (LifeSkill Institute). Visit www.lifeskillinstitute.org.

ACTION: Develop these 12 mental disciplines.

by Herbert Harris

PEOPLE WHO EXERCISE PER-sonal leadership achieve

desired outcomes for them-selves and their teams. To be an effec-tive leader, master these 12 principles:

1. Be a thinker. You become whatyou think about most of the time. So,guard your thoughts in three areas: 1.Thoughts about yourself—your self-image:How you see and feel about yourselfdetermines what you get out of life. 2.Thoughts about other people—your atti-tude: How you project yourself to oth-ers and what others perceive about you.3. Thoughts about the world in general—your outlook on life or frame of refer-ence. You are most effective when yourthoughts project a positive self-image, acaring attitude, and a can do approach.

2. Be willing to change. Making effec-tive change requires faith, choice, anddesire. You must have faith that thechange will result in desired outcomes.Every opportunity, situation, or chal-lenge requires you to make tough choic-es to manifest the desired outcomes.You also need a burning desire—theemotional fuel that sustains you whenchallenges or obstacles arise. Change theoutcomes by changing your thinking.

3. Have vision and set goals. Whenyou lack vision, you fail. So develop avision—a detailed mental image, utiliz-ing your senses, of the desired outcome.Write, share, and commit to the vision,and then translate it into written, specif-ic, measurable, attainable goals to beachieved over a definite time period.

4. Say the right things and speakwith authority. What you say is whatyou get. Articulate the vision and goalsin a way that touches and motivates theteam to believe in the desired outcomes.

5. Radiate confidence. Project animage and aura of strength, conviction,understanding, and compassion. Peopledon’t care how much you know untilthey know how much you care. Be theperson you want to be to attract thepeople you want to meet, the experi-ences you wish to have, and the out-comes you seek. Radiate courage andconfidence through direct eye contact, afirm handshake, physical appearance,tone of voice, and body movement.

6. Be focused and disciplined. Keep

by Erin Gruwell

BY PICKING UP A PEN ANDfollowing in the foot-

steps of Anne Frank andothers, I hoped my students would seethe relevance and power of writing.I’ve always believed that education isthe great equalizer, so I wanted themto level the playing field.

My students, the “Freedom Writers,”were teenagers surroundedby violence, racism, discrimi-nation, and hate. Becausethey compared their circum-stance to a war zone, theyempathized with the violenceAnne described.

One student was struckby a passage in Anne’s diarywhen she compares herselfto a “bird in a cage,” wish-ing she could fly away. While Anne’scage was the attic where she hid fromthe Nazis, this Freedom Writer feltcaged by her environment and by thedecisions she’d made up to that point.

Through Anne, the students sawwriting as a form of freedom, as well asa way to spread a message of toleranceand hope. They were inspired to do thesame with the stories from their ownexperiences. Those experiences wereoften struggles against drugs and abuse.

Many of my students had the “fightor flight” mentality—since their com-munity had experienced the race riots

and murders. In response, I decided toteach my students to put down theirfist, spray can or gun, and pick up apen instead. I realized that the studentscould be reached through their person-al experiences, and based most of myteaching on themes like tolerance.

The books I shared encouraged thestudents to write. One student wrotethat he felt like he “lived in an unde-clared war,” so I used books written byteens who had lived in wars. Readingtheir harrowing tales inspired my stu-dents to be more honest and forthrightin their journals. They wrote aboutpersonal problems involving pain,alienation, and racism. We realizedthese issues were universal. Writing

became very cathartic. Mystudents had to see the rele-vance of writing in theirlives. Once they learned thepower of the pen, there wasno stopping them. Wesigned honor codes so thatthe students would not sen-sationalize their stories.

My students finished highschool as different people.

They entered my class afraid to sit nextto one another or talk to a person of adifferent race. They left as a family. Webroke down stereotypes and dismantledcomfort zones to see past color and creed.

Allow your students to teach you.Make your curriculum relevant to theirlives. I became their student as theytaught me to question everything andto give a voice to the voiceless. PE

Erin Gruwell is an award-winning teacher at CalState Long Beach and president of the Erin GruwellEducation Project. Visit www.gruwellproject.org.

ACTION: Be a catalyst for change.

M E N TA L • THOUGHT

Catalyst for ChangeWhat influence can you have?

12 PrinciplesOf personal leadership.

M E N TA L • CHANGE

your eye on the desired outcome, vision,goal, or purpose. Distractions are coun-terproductive. Discipline your mind,body, instincts, and emotions. Be orga-nized and energized and walk your talk.

7. Plan and take effective action. De-velop, write, and execute detailed, defi-nite, practical plans that lead to desiredoutcomes. A success plan is a blueprintfor attaining the vision.

8. Manage time, resources, and peo-ple effectively. How you spend yourtime determines your success in achiev-ing desired outcomes. Every hour ask,What is the best use of my time right now,considering my vision, goals, and purpose?

9. Build strong relationships. Theseare the heart and soul of leadership. Yourability to develop positive, empoweringrelationships largely determines yourability to achieve desired results.

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your full effort. And if you don’t giveit your all, you receive mediocreresults. Commitment is crucial forattaining any goal.

4. Inactivity. After setting a goal,writing down dates, and setting check-points, you need to actually take thatfirst step to progress toward your goal.If you don’t get started, you can’t goanywhere. Without action, nothinghappens. So if you create a goal listand wonder why your goals aren’ttranspiring, ask yourself what actionsteps you’ve taken to achieve yourgoals. If you haven’t taken any action,now is the time to start.

5. Analysis paralysis. If you feelthat you can’t start on a goal until youhave all the answers to every “what if”

scenario, you’ll let questions anddoubts paralyze you. No matter howlong and hard you prepare, you’llnever have all the answers to the ques-tions you ask. Also, don’t make yourdecisions or address your questionsbased on where you are right now, butrather on where you want to go orwho you want to become. Always baseyour decisions and answer your ques-tions with a view to the future—not aview to current situations. Your situa-tion will change because of the deci-sions you make today and will dictatethe success of your journey. So moveforward toward your goal, knowingthat you’ll never have all the answers.

6. Lack of a real destination. Don’tstart setting goals without a solid des-tination of who you want to become orwhat you ultimately want to achieve.If you don’t have a destination inmind, then you’ll never know whichroad to take to get where you want togo. Your destination needs to beclear—something you can visualize

and describe to others. Without such aclear view of what you want in life,you’ll be forever changing course andfalling short of your potential.

7. Failing to plan. While you under-stand the formula of goal setting, youdon’t have a plan for goal attainmentthat’s personalized to you and yourexperiences. You neglect the gifts youpossess, which can help you attain thegoal, as well as the people you knowwho might help you. You bring somany unique talents and attributes tothe table, and you know many peoplewho can help you in some way. Bemindful of these advantages duringyour planning, and use the resourcesyou have available to you.

8. Having too many goals. You mayset too many goals and lack focus. It’slike throwing darts with three targets inmind. Focus on one goal and move for-ward with that goal only. You may wellhave more than one goal, but you needto realize that you have only so muchtime and energy. So, chose the one goalthat will give you the highest return oneffort, and focus on that one goal first.Once you complete it, you can thenfocus on secondary goals in sequence.

9. Feeling unworthy of the end result.You may believe that you are unworthyof attaining the goal. So you self-sabo-tage. Perhaps you suddenly walk awayfrom the key contact who will help youwith your goal, or you neglect to do acritical activity that will enable you toachieve your goal. People who feelunworthy usually lack self-confidence,and confidence is key to attaining goals.

10. Lack of motivation to change. Ifyou are satisfied with what you haveand where you are in life, you won’texplore what else is available or whatgreater things you could achieve. Twomotivating factors cause you to change:pain and pleasure. Even if you are feel-ing pain in a situation, that pain maynot be great enough, or you are receiv-ing ample pleasure, so you don’t strivefor more. Goal attainment happenswhen you’re ready to break the statusquo and want something better in life.

You can achieve your goals. You canbe who you want and do what youwant. By balancing your goals in thefour categories and avoiding the mis-takes that hinder results, you canachieve any goal you set for yourselfand reach new levels of success. PE

Douglas Vermeeren is a speaker, author of AmazingSuccess and other books on goal setting. He’s touringwith “The Secret,” while producing “The Opus.” Call403-714-5191 or visit www.douglasvermeeren.com.

ACTION: Set and achieve worthy goals.

by Douglas Vermeeren

MOST PEOPLE CLAIM TO SEEthe importance of set-

ting goals to attain a betterlife, but 80 percent of people never setgoals, and of the 20 percent who do setgoals, roughly 70 percent fail to achievethe goals they set. When you considerthat many people set small, easilyattainable goals, it’s a wonder that any-one accomplishes anything remarkable.

There are “be” goals and “do” goals:who do you want to be or what do youwant to achieve? Within each category,there are four areas: wealth, health,relationships, and self-fulfillment. Mostgoals are about either wealth or rela-tionships. However, achievementinvolves all four areas, and successmeans finding balance. To live a suc-cessful life, you need both “being” and“doing” goals in each of the four areas.

Before you start setting goals, youneed to know what traps to avoid. Hereare the top 10 reasons why people failto achieve their goals.

1. Fear of success or failure. You maybe afraid that you will fail, or worse,that you may actually succeed. So, youdon’t even bother trying to attain agoal. You lack belief in yourself and inyour potential. In your mind, if youfail, everyone will think negatively ofyou; and if you succeed, people will beenvious and think negatively of you. Soyou see only a lose-lose situation. Youcan achieve anything you set yourmind to. Believe in yourself and yourabilities, and others will, too.

2. Lack of understanding about thegoal-setting process. You may thinkthat goal-setting simply means puttinga goal on paper, setting a date for com-pletion, marking off checkpoints, andthen starting all over again. But goal-setting isn’t a one-time thing that youscratch off a list. Setting a goal is aboutchanging yourself over time. Goalsaren’t short-term, quick-fix things; theyare fixed and immovable destinationsthat show the world who you want tobecome or what you want to achieve.

3. Lack of commitment to the goal.Even though you state you want toachieve a certain goal, in truth, youmay not be committed to it. Hence, youdon’t give the act of goal attainment

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Achieving GoalsA v o i d 1 0 c o m m o n t r a p s .

F I N A N C I A L • G O A L S

definition ignores a part of the equation—expenses. Financial independenceinvolves earning enough passive incometo support the lifestyle you desire. So,there is no “magic” amount of passiveincome required—it depends on yourexpenses. If you earn $100,000 in annualpassive income and have expenses of$85,000 per year, you are financiallyindependent. If you have $500,000 inannual passive income but $750,000 inexpenses per year, you are not financial-ly independent. Expenses are an equallyimportant part of the equation.

I invite you to change the way youdeal with money. PE

Robert Pagliarini is a Certified Financial Planner andauthor of The Six-Day Financial Makeover (St. Martin’s).Visit www.sixdayfinancialmakeover.com, call 949-305-0500 or email robert@pacificawealth.com.

ACTION: Engage in a financial makeover.

by Robert Pagliarini

FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE ISa phrase that often gets

tossed around without anyunderstanding of what it means. One ofmy goals is to take the mystery out offinancial independence and to show youexactly what it is and what it provides.

Financial independence should beyour primary financial goal. Here’s why.

At the root of financial independenceis the freedom to choose between severaloptions, putting you in control of yourfinances and your life. It allows you toshape your life rather than being at themercy of someone else’s vision of yourfuture. It takes you out of the passengerseat and puts you behind the wheel. Youcan choose work that stimulates andinspires you, without worrying abouthow much money it will earn for you. Italso allows you to pursue your hobbieswithout regard to their cost or time com-mitment. And it allows you to volunteeryour time and money to worthy causes.

Financial independence also providessecurity. How would you feel if youcould live the lifestyle of your dreamswithout worrying about being down-sized, billing time, or meeting sales quo-tas? Your sense of security comes fromhaving control over your life and yourfuture. Without financial independence,your life is dictated by someone else—usually your employer. Your security isat the whim of an organization withtheir best interests at heart.

What is Financial Independence?To some, financial independence

means being able to pay the bills. Forothers, it means being able to eat out ona whim. For still others, it means havingvacation homes and boats.

I define financial independence asbeing able to support the lifestyle youdesire without having to work. There aretwo important pieces to this definition.

First, differentiate the lifestyle youdesire from your current one. Too often,you reduce your lifestyle to fit withinyour means. Financial independence isnot about limiting or reducing yourlifestyle, but about living the life youwant and having the means to support it.

Second, financial independence meansyou don’t need to work to support yourlifestyle. The income generated by your

by Edward Webb

Two YEARS AGO I HEARD Aguest speaker at church.

As I settled into my seat Iheard the speaker announce his topic:“The Economics of Spirituality”.

I thought, “Just what I need at 9 a.m.on Sunday morning! I envisioned himmouthing platitudes. I was wrong.Instead, he launched into anpractical talk about how youreconomic status impacts yourability to be spiritual.

His premise was simple: it’shard to be grateful and find afirm spiritual center if you’rehungry. Few of us know whatit is like to “go hungry.” I findit difficult to imagine. I believethat one of the great gifts of being a U.S.citizen is to contribute to the care, feed-ing, and health of those less fortunate.But, I’m not writing about the means ormethods of meeting the needs of theeconomically less fortunate but aboutthe “economics of having enough”.

This refers to more than an assess-ment of how well you’re meeting yourneeds. It is your attempt to quantify yoursense of well being. It’s where your fears,needs, and assets all come together.

You likely wonder at times aboutwhether you have enough money orstuff. If you’re afraid you don’t haveenough security, you may build fencesand buy toys and then security alarms.

How many toys are enough? If you’renot sure, you can always buy more.

Who decides what is enough? Isthere a baseline standard of living thatqualifies as enough? How come somepeople seem to have enough with amodest lifestyle and other wealthy peo-ple seem driven to get more? The eco-nomics of enough is not just aboutreality; it’s about the place where reali-ty and self-perception blend.

You need to ask yourself: do I haveenough? How do you know? There’sno rule that applies to everyone—youhave to decide for yourself.

I have two suggestions to help you: First, look around you. How does

your lifestyle compare to theway you were raised? Areyou living the life that youthought you would 10 yearsago? If there is a gap betweenwhere you want to be andwhere you are, this can be areflection on your personaleconomics of enough.

Second, how are your rela-tionships? Do you have a committedrelationship with a significant other?Do you have a healthy group offriends to provide you with validation,advice, and fun? Your relationships areoften a window into how you areinternalizing the economics of enough.

When you think about all that youhave and about all those people whohave less, ask yourself whether youhave enough. Seek the sense of well-being that comes from knowing yourworth and knowing it’s enough. PE

Edward Webb is lead consultant and principal of StuartClay Consulting. Email edwardswebb@comcast net.

ACTION: Decide what is enough for you.

F I N A N C I A L • INDEPENDENCE

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Have EnoughHow fat is your wallet?

Can You Quit Yet?Gain financial independence.

F I N A N C I A L • E N O U G H

assets fully supports your expenses. In-come from labor is earned income—itrequires your participation, effort, andenergy. If you take time off, your earnedincome ceases. Earned income is howyou may now receive money. You getup, go to work, and put in your day.Every two weeks, you get a paycheck.This is the earned-income cycle.

Earned income is an exchange of timefor money. Through education and expe-rience, you can increase the value ofyour time and be compensated accord-ingly. Even high-powered attorneys orsurgeons who make hundreds of dollarsan hour, still exchange their time for apaycheck. The minute they stop thisexchange, they stop earning income.

Financial independence is not aboutbeing “rich.” To be rich, you only needto make or have a lot of money. This

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Myth 3: Insomnia means difficultyfalling asleep. Fact: Difficulty fallingasleep is only one of four symptomsassociated with insomnia. Othersinclude waking up too early and notbeing able to fall back asleep; frequentawakenings during the night; and wak-ing up feeling un-refreshed. Insomniacan be a symptom of a sleep disorder orother health problems. Most adultsreport at least one symptom of insom-nia. Solution: Daily exercise, loading upon lots of whole, fresh fruits and veg-etables, and avoiding or eliminatingstimulants from the diet, such as caf-feine, chocolate, and refined sugar infoods and drinks. When insomniasymptoms occur several times a weekand impact your daily life, you should

discuss the symptoms with an appro-priate health care provider.

Myth 4: Health problems such asobesity, diabetes, hypertension, anddepression are unrelated to the quanti-ty and quality of a person’s sleep. Fact:Studies show a direct relationshipbetween sleep and many health prob-lems. Insufficient sleep affects growthhormone secretion that is linked to obe-sity. As the hormone secretion decreas-es, the chance for weight gain increases.Blood pressure usually falls during thesleep cycle. However, interrupted sleepcan affect this normal decline, leadingto hypertension and cardiovascularproblems. Insufficient sleep impairs thebody’s ability to use insulin, leading tothe onset of diabetes. Solution: Losingweight and building up your healthwith whole fruits and vegetables,while reducing fat-loaded foods, suchas meat, cheese, and hydrogenated fatsfound in many processed foods canhelp. Also, get 60 minutes of dailyexercise and avoid stimulants, such ascaffeine, chocolate and white sugar

found in drinks and foods.Myth 5: The older you get, the fewer

hours of sleep you need. Fact: Just likemost adults, people over the age of 65need 7 to 9 hours of sleep. While sleeppatterns change as you age, the amountof sleep you need generally does not. Infact, a poll by the National SleepFoundation shows that older adults typi-cally do not sleep less than youngercounterparts (they sleep an average ofseven hours). Poor health, not age, is amajor reason why many older peoplereport sleep problems. Solution: Buildinghealthy, lifelong habits is a must to get-ting a good night’s sleep and enjoyinglife. Daily walking, deep-breathing,stretching exercises, spending time withfamily and friends, and jumping into ahobby can contribute to a good night’ssleep. Eat the right kind of foods andavoid caffeine, refined and processedfoods, and fatty foods. Napping in theearly afternoon, around noon, is less like-ly to interfere with sleeping at night. And,get down to your ideal body weight.

Myth 6: During sleep, your brainrests. Fact: The body rests during sleep.However, the brain remains active andgets “recharged.” During sleep, you driftbetween two sleep states, REM (rapideye movement) and non-REM, in 90-minute cycles. Non-REM sleep, whenour minds can still process information,has four stages with distinct features,ranging from stage one drowsiness,when you can be easily awakened to“deep sleep” stages three and four, whenthe most positive and restorative effectsof sleep occur. REM sleep is an activesleep where dreams occur and eyesmove back and forth under the eyelids.

Myth 7: If you wake up in the middleof the night, it is best to lie in bed,count sheep, or toss and turn until youeventually fall back asleep. Fact: If youwake up in the middle of the night,relaxing imagery or thoughts may helpto induce sleep more than countingsheep, which may be more distractingthan relaxing. Solution: If you do notfall back asleep within 15 to 20 minutes,get out of bed, go to another room, andengage in a relaxing activity—such aslistening to music or reading. Return tobed when you feel sleepy. Avoid watch-ing the clock. The bed should be associ-ated with sleep and sex only. PE

Narinder Duggal, M.D., is a pharmacy specialist,internist and director of Liberty Bay Internal Medicine.Call 360-779-9911 or email Narinderduggal@liberty-bayim.com. Dr. Leslie Van Romer is a doctor of chiro-practic, author, and expert in weight loss. They createdThe Med-Free Solution. Call 1-888-375-3754 or visitwww.drleslievanromer.com.

ACTION: Get more and better sleep.

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Seven Sleep MythsL e a r n t h e f a c t s a n d s o l u t i o n s .

P H Y S I C A L • S L E E P

by NarinderDuggal andLeslie VanRomer

SLEEP IS CRITICAL TO FEEL YOUR BEST,look your best, and perform at your

best every day. A lack of sleep canresult in decreased productivity, cre-ativity, and focus, but a continued lackof sleep can cause more serious healthissues. While the quality and quantityof sleep take front and center stage,there are other major health playerssuch as: eating lots of fresh fruits andvegetables, making time for 60 minutesof exercise each day, taking in fresh air,drinking lots of water, and having anuplifting outlook on life.

Seek Solutions for Better SleepSleep is important, but there is much

confusion about how we can get thissacred time to rest, recuperate, andreenergize. Here are the top sevenmyths about sleep and the solutions:

Myth 1: Snoring may be annoying toa sleep partner, but it is never harmful.Fact: Snoring may be harmless, but itcan also be a symptom of a life-threat-ening sleep disorder called sleep apnea,especially if it is accompanied by severedaytime sleepiness. Sleep apnea, orpauses in breathing while sleeping, pre-vents air flow, reduces oxygen levelsand strains the heart and cardiovascu-lar system, increasing the risk of cardio-vascular disease. People with sleepapnea awaken frequently during thenight. Obesity can also contribute tosleep apnea. Solution: Lose weight andif you suspect sleep apnea, get itchecked out. It is treatable.

Myth 2: You can “cheat” on the sleepyou get. Fact: Most adults need seven tonine hours of sleep each night for opti-mum performance, health and safety.When we don’t get adequate sleep, weaccumulate a sleep “debt” that can bedifficult to “pay back.” The result: sleepdeprivation, which is linked to obesity,high blood pressure, mood swings,decreased productivity, and safetyissues in the home, on the job, and onthe road. Solution: Put your body andhealth first and get to bed early enoughfor your full eight hours of rest.

Too much of either substance can affectyour ability to sleep well.• If you must eat out, make healthy

choices. Even most fast-food restaurantsnow offer salads. Avoid things thatsound healthy but aren’t, such as veg-gies loaded with butter and salt or sal-ads that come with high-fat dressings.

Keep your diet balanced and yourbody fit. Use these tips on your next tripto reduce stress, while keeping yourbody as healthy as possible. PE

Nancy D. O’Reilly is a clinical psychologist, researcher,founder of WomenSpeak.com and author of You Can’t ScareMe. Visit www.womenspeak.com or call: 417-860-5834.

ACTION: Observe these tips when you travel.

• Try to eat at the times when youwould normally eat to avoid throwingoff your appetite and sleep patterns.• Start your day with a healthy break-

fast to keep your energy up.• Worried about your weight? Monitor

the calories you consume all day com-pared to the total you burn up.• For many people, traveling means

eating high-calorie “junk food,” ratherthan fruit or other foods low in calo-ries and high in nutrients. So, packsome nutritious snacks (such as peanutbutter and crackers, fresh fruit, granolaand water bottles).• Curb the amount of alcohol and caf-

feine you consume when you travel.

by Nancy D. O’Reilly

MORE PEOPLE ARE TRAVEL-ing across the globe.

Whether for work or play,people are finding it easier to take thatflight or road trip. This on-the-golifestyle can leave much to be desiredwhen it comes to health. Often, travelingmeans eating greasy food when youhave time, picking up germs from fellowtravelers, or staying at hotels where yourbody hasn’t adjusted to a new location’stemperature, altitude, or time zone.

There are easy ways you can stay fitand healthy, even while on the road. Youcan’t always control the weather delaysor flight cancellations, which add stress,but you can take these precautions:• Wear comfortable, loose-fitting cloth-

ing. You might bring a sweater or smallblanket in case the plane gets too cold.• Before your flight, try to burn off any

nervous energy. Take a 30-minute walkaround the airport.• Quench your thirst with water or

juice; avoid alcohol and caffeine. The airinside airplanes is dry, and you can easi-ly become dehydrated. Your blood thenthickens, putting you at risk for clots.• During the flight, do some stretches

and leg lifts in your seat. Try flexing,extending, and circling your ankles.• If your flight is long, get out of your

seat and move around once every hour.• Wash your hands frequently. If you

want to, carry some hand sanitizer inyour bag or bring hand wipes with you.

When you arrive at your destination,use these tips to be more relaxed in anew setting and get a good night’s sleep:• Select (or bring) a comfortable pillow,

but one that is firm enough to keep yourhead in alignment with your spine. • Keep your room as dark as possible

during bedtime. Use window blindsand shades to block out light.• Counter distracting noises by bring-

ing a CD with nature sounds, such aswaves or falling rain.• Try to maintain a nighttime bedroom

temperature of 65 degrees.• Keep a schedule to sleep at about the

same time as you would normally, toavoid disturbing your body’s naturalsleep patterns.

Eating “right” when you’re on thego can be a challenge, especially withenticing foods. Here are some tips:

by OprahWinfrey andBob Green

YOU’VE GOT TO ASK YOURSELF, Whatkind of life do I want—and how close

am I to living it? You can’t ever live thelife of your dreams withoutfacing the truth. Every un-wanted pound creates anoth-er layer of lies. It’s only whenyou peel back those layersthat you will be set free towork out, free to eat responsi-bly, free to live the life youwant and deserve to live. Tellthe truth, and you’ll learn toeat to satisfy your physical hunger andstop burying your hopes and dreamsbeneath layers of fat.

On my show, one woman who hadbeen struggling with her weight saidshe’d learned to challenge the pain andnot the peanut butter. I thought that wasbrilliant. Once you work on what’s eat-ing you, you won’t want to eat so much.

The Best Life Diet plan mirrors theway I eat and live now. There is no secretto losing weight. It’s simple physics:what you put in vs. what you put out.

I lost weight in stages. First I becameactive, and I still work out because Iknow if I don’t exercise, I’ll end upweighing 200 pounds again. Then Istarted working on my eating. I stoppedeating past 7:30 at night. When Bob toldme it would make a big difference in myweight, I resisted. I thought it was goingto be too hard. But I was surprised tofind that it wasn’t; and even more sur-prised when it turned out to be one of

the most effective changes I made. I’ve now replaced most of the bad

foods in my diet with good. I eat small-er portions, and eat healthy foods as away of life, not a diet to go on and off.And I’m always working on gettingbetter. My diet is a work in progress.

Are you ready to end the strugglewith your weight once and for all? Doyou want to find a simple, delicious, “Ican do this, no problem!” approach toeating that you can stick with? The BestLife program offers a three-phasedapproach to losing weight and getting

in better shape that’s asmuch about helping youshape healthier habits as it isabout “eat this, and notthat.” That’s why it’s easy tofollow, and why the resultsare often dramatic. This pro-gram is a way of learning toeat better, get active, and cre-ate a healthy lifestyle.

The Best Life program is not aboutbeing “on” or “off” a diet. Instead it’s away of living—of eating, exercising,and viewing your life—that puts you atyour healthiest. Sure, one goal of theprogram is to lose weight. But it alsohas a more far-reaching purpose: tokeep the weight off, and develop habitsthat dramatically reduce your risk ofdiabetes, heart disease, and other ills. Isemotional eating a problem? The BestLife program also helps you tackle thatdemon. Each phase gradually leadsyou to an increasingly healthy diet andencourages you to increase physicalactivity (brisk walking counts—youdon’t have to go to the gym). Soon,you’ll be amazed at how wonderfulyour life has become. PE

Oprah Winfrey is a talk show host, and Bob Greene isfitness trainer and author of Best Life Diet. Visitwww.oprah.com.

ACTION: Start living your best life.

P H Y S I C A L • T R AV E L

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Travel Smart TipsStay heal thy on the go .

Your Best LifeS t a r t l i v i n g i t n o w.

P H Y S I C A L • W E I G H T

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who leaves the printer with a paper jam.The boss who walks into the reservedconference room during a meeting andbumps everybody out. The person whocuts in line at the cafeteria cash register.The guy who answers his cell phone inthe middle of a meeting. Even smallcourtesies kindle a fire that ignites chem-istry and builds kinship. The courtesy ofsaying “hello” when you come into theoffice after being away. The courtesy ofletting people know when you’re goingto be away. The courtesy of honoringpolicies about reserving rooms, spaces,and equipment for activities. The cour-tesy of a simple “please,” “thank you,”and “you’re welcome” for small favors.

8. Share a sense of humor. No matterwhether people agree or disagree withGeorge W. Bush’s political positions,they enjoy his self-deprecating humor.At a Washington correspondents dinner,Bush brought along his “double,” come-dian Steve Bridges, to make fun of hisfrequent mispronunciations: “Nu—cle—ar proliferation.” Then Bush triedit, “Nu-cle—ar pro-boblieration.” Thecrowd went wild. Self-deprecatinghumor can open hearts and minds tomake people receptive to your ideas.

9. Show humility. Power can beseductive. And in an instant, an act ofarrogance can destroy your credibility.Refusing to acknowledge people whenthey speak to you. Failure to respond topeople’s suggestions. Haughty bodylanguage. Time spent only with those ofyour “rank and ilk” at social gatherings.An amused smirk in response to anidea. A roll of the eyes to discredit acomment. A talk packed with jargon.Insisting that things be said one way.

Credible communicators show humil-ity: They let others “showcase” by deliv-ering key messages. They let others feelimportant by “interpreting,” “passingon,” and “applying” their goals and ini-tiatives. They get input from others—and consider that input worthy of aresponse. They ask others for their help,cooperation, and buy-in. They tell storiesabout star performers and appreciate theefforts and results of other people.

Arrogance antagonizes people.Expertise tinged with humility goesdown far better. Your look, language,and likeable personality often determinewhether people accept what you say. Ifyour message isn’t sinking in or you’renot getting the action you want, maybeyou should take it, well, personally. PE

Dianna Booher is author of The Voice of Authority: 10Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know(McGraw Hill). She is CEO of Booher Consultants.Visit www.booher.com or call 800-342-6621.

ACTION: Boost your likeability factor.

P R O F E S S I O N A L • L I K E A B I L I T Y

CommunicationYou can always improve.

4. Set a level playing field. Beforeyou speak, make sure what you’reabout to say doesn’t contain words orphrases that imply your superiority tothe other person. These commentsreveal much about your managementstyle and attitude: “I want you to meetJane, who works for me” versus “Iwant you to meet Jane, who works withme.” “Haven’t I told you about notbothering me with such details?” ver-sus “I’d prefer that you handle thosedetails without involving me.” Honestcommunication—whether solicitingnew ideas, preferences, or genuinelyhelpful feedback about your perfor-mance or that of your team—flows ordribbles according to your attention tothese small frames, gestures, and words.

5. Increase the likeability factor tomake your message matter. To beheard, you have to make people likeyou. You need to create chemistry—with your staff as a manager, with your

team as a project leader, with yourboss, with your customer, with yourstrategic partners. People believe peo-ple they like. Great communicatorsdevelop The Likeability Factor—yourpersonality and “chemistry” you createbetween yourself and others. Certaintraits seem universally to attract peopleand open their minds and hearts.

6. Be vulnerable; show your humani-ty. Audiences have more in commonwith those who struggle. If you worryabout whether your teen will graduatefrom high school without gettinginvolved with the wrong group, say so.If you lose a customer, regret it ratherthan excuse it. If you miss a deadline,repair the damage and catch up. If youmiss a payment, make it, with interest.If you make a mistake, own it and cor-rect it. If you misjudge someone, apolo-gize and make amends. When youcommunicate with colleagues, never fearto let them see your humanity.

7. Be courteous. Daily, it’s the smallthings that kill our spirit: The sales repwho leaves a dirty sink. The managerwho uses the last drop of lotion anddoesn’t refill the container. The analyst

by Dianna Booher

TYPICALLY, THE HIGHER YOUgo in the organization,

the more difficult it is to gethonest feedback about your skills andyour work and to communicate effec-tively. Here are nine tips to assist you:

1. Recognize that others want to winyour goodwill; interpret their wordsand behavior accordingly. If you’re theboss, you’ll get more attention to yourpreferences, quicker responses to yourrequests, and overt approval of yourideas. Don’t, however, conclude that allthis happens because you’re an excel-lent communicator, that your requestshave more merit, that your ideas arebetter, or that all your customers andcolleagues receive such responsiveness.If you want honest feedback about howyour unit really functions or how wellyou really communicate, you’ll have toplay fly on the wall. When you’re good,people tell you. When you’re not soeffective, they keep quiet because theydon’t want to hurt your feelings.

2. If you want to get honest commu-nication, remove the status symbols andpower barriers. Be aware of the poweryou have with different groups. Youhave reward power if you positivelyinfluence what will happen to them. Youhave coercive power if you can negative-ly influence their future. You have posi-tional power if by your position you canforce your will upon them. You haveexpert power over someone if you haveknowledge they need. You have referentpower over them if you can influencethrough your personality. If you want tominimize this power, relate to others onequal footing, and receive an honestopinion from them—you have toremove the status reminders. You maywant to sit beside them or introduceyourself by name (no title). You maywant to join them in the training centerrather than invite them to your office.Rapport-building and honest communi-cation hinge on such small steps.

3. Assess others’ knowledge andexperiences exactly. If you assume yourlisteners know more than they do, theymay misunderstand your message, stoptrying to understand your explanations,or become frustrated or angry, thinkingyou’re “putting on airs.”

people shouldn’t give up their power toartificial barriers. All people—regardlessof gender or race—are powerful andcan do whatever they decide to do ifthey will be accountable to themselves.”

Then she said, “Simon, when delegat-ing a project or task, I want the best per-son for the job. So what if they have adifferent ethnicity or cultural beliefs! Dothey connect the dots between our cus-tomer’s challenges and our solutions?”

I then asked, “Rachel, why do youthink you’re so successful?” She said,“Because I realize it is not about arriv-ing. There is no end goal, no final desti-nation. I’m understanding how to be.”

Since our lunch, I’ve reflected onsomething Rachel said: do they connectthe dots? The essence of success is to con-nect the dots between your customers’problems and your product or service

solution. You are the solution to some-one’s issue, problem, or challenge. Youcan drive value, make a difference, andtake your team or company to the nextlevel. You just have to connect the dots!

Don’t invest so much time climbingthe proverbial ladder, only to discoverthat it’s leaning against the wrong wall.Instead think of ways you can buildrelationships with people, solve theirproblems, and make their lives better.

When you connect with others authentic-ally—not for what you can get from them,but for what you can give to them—itmakes for fulfilling, gratifying, and satis-fying work. So, spend less time on ascen-sion and more time on connection! PE

Simon T. Bailey is author of Release Your Brilliance. Call972-899-3411, e-mail simon@simontbailey.com.

ACTION: Learn to make authentic connections.

by Simon Bailey

RECENTLY, I HAD LUNCH WITHRachel Landrum, presi-

dent of Metavante BankingSolutions. Rachel and I met at a confer-ence, and we quickly discovered thatwe both lived in Florida. I was eager tolearn what made Rachel so successful.

After getting to know one another, Iasked my burning question: What arefive things people can do to ascend the cor-porate ladder? Without missing a beat,she said, “Simon, there is no ladder.”

Rachel explained that people confusethe career ladder with their goals. Theyset a goal to achieve a certain positionor level and then start posturing, jump-ing through hoops, and jockeying forposition. This fuels a political, internallycompetitive (vs. cooperative and collab-orative) environment that erodes trust.

Instead of trying to climb the “lad-der,” Rachel suggested that if you aspireto be successful you do the following:• Stop looking for a position and exer-

cise your passion to serve your clientsand employees. Do the right thing now.The question is not if or when an oppor-tunity will come. The question is, willyou be ready to take it when it comes? • Always be accountable to yourself. If

you don’t, you will become lazy.• Constantly evaluate your internal

compass to stay grounded and to ensurethat your motives are pure. Pay atten-tion to your intuition—it’s your edge.• Connect with people. See them as

human beings instead of judging thembased on societal beliefs. Celebrate oth-ers for who they are right now and forwho they are becoming, instead of wor-rying about their past failures.• Tap into your passion and pursue it

with enthusiasm. Be willing to fail. Bepresent, yet chase the unknown for whatyou can become and do for others.

Rachel then said: “Some issues thatwomen face are self-inflicted. For what-ever reason, they bury their brillianceby creating artificial boundaries thatconfine them to a limited way of think-ing and believing. Some women (andmen, too) think that if they can’t make abig splash and see their name in lights,then they won’t do anything at all. But

by Jim Madrid

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FORyour actions requires

that you become the causeof the results that you want. Refuse tobehave like a victim. Take responsibility:

Consciousness. You can be fully pre-sent when you make decisions and workon projects, or you can be physically pre-sent but mentally absent.Either way, you are respon-sible for the consciousnessyou bring to the occasion.

Decisions and actions.It’s tempting to disconnectfrom your choices—to insistthat someone or somethingis driving you to behavethe way you do. But youare responsible for how youspeak and listen, how youtreat others, and how you keep yourpromises or break them.

Fulfillment of desires. Stop imagin-ing that someone will come along torescue you—to solve your problemsand fulfill your wishes. No one is com-ing to make life right or to fix things—nothing will get better unless you dosomething to make it happen.

Beliefs and values. Don’t just reflectpassively what others believe andvalue. Become aware of your beliefsand values, scrutinize them, and makeup your mind about them.

Setting priorities. The way youspend time and energy is either in

sync with your values or out of sync.The way you prioritize your time isyour choice. Instead of neglecting peo-ple and activities that are important toyou, reexamine your values or set pri-orities that make more sense.

Companions. You can blame andresent others when they hurt or disap-point you and feel sorry for yourself. Oryou can choose with whom you spendtime—and make different choices.

Actions in response to feelings andemotions. When you’re angry, you wantto lash out. When you’re hurt, you feellike sulking. When you’re impatient,you may get angry. But you don’t have

to act on these urges. Youcan act more thoughtfully,with better results.

Happiness. If you believeyour happiness is primari-ly in your hands, you giveyourself great power. Youdon’t wait for events orpeople to make you happy.You ask, “What can I do?”

Your life and well-being.Other people don’t exist as

means to your ends, any more than youlive in service to their goals. People maychoose to help one another voluntarily.But no one is entitled to other people’sassets or energy.

Learning self-responsibility. Ask:What possibilities for action exist? Whatcan I do? What will I do to get what Iwant? To act more self-responsibly for rela-tionships and results, choices and decisions,I might... Write what comes to mind. It’syour life, so make the most of it! PE

Jim Madrid is an author and CEO of Entelechy. Visitwww.entelechy.net.

ACTION: Practice self-responsibility.

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Self-ResponsibilityMake the most of your life.

AuthenticConnectionBurn the ladder, connect the dots!

P R O F E S S I O N A L • C H O I C E S

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your life. Don’t think about it too hard;simply write the first five that come tomind. Go ahead and create your list.

Now pick one of the five items andthink back to that time. Close your eyesand take yourself there. Chances areyou’ll end up with a smile on your face.

During your life, you experiencethousands of truly happy moments.These memories are the foundationthat gives you strength, contentment,and an inherent excitement to find outwhat comes next. Your past successesshouldn’t be tucked away into thedeep recesses of your mind; theyshould be celebrated and reflectedupon to help you with the next adven-ture heading your way.

So when you’re lying in bed

tonight, and many things are runningthrough your head, pick one item onyour list and clear everything elsefrom your mind. Think back to thisoutstanding moment and smile. Nosleeping pill can better relax you.

Great moments shouldn’t be kept inthe back of your mind. They should becelebrated as a source of inspiration,pride, and strength.

Every day of your life, you’re creat-ing memories. Most adults can remem-ber moments as far back as age three.That means the typical 30-year-oldadult has about 9,855 days worth ofpotential memories. If you considerhow many memorable events happeneach day, that number starts multiply-ing exponentially. However, the brainisn’t programmed to keep that muchinformation in its long-term banks.That’s why out of a given week, only ahandful of events will permanently bestored—only those moments that trulyhave an impact on us physically, emo-tionally and psychologically will bemoved to long-term memory. The ones

that remain are there for a reason. Theseare the moments, good and bad, thathave molded and transformed your life.But just because they’ve already hap-pened doesn’t mean you can’t continueto use these moments to affect you innew ways.

By thinking back to a time in ourlives when we experienced happiness,accomplishment and satisfaction, thebrain allows us to relive those emotions,thereby creating an instantaneous effect.By recalling those fond memories andevents, we can easily lift ourselves up inthe present.

Think about that for a minute... youhave the ability to stir up these positiveemotions anytime you wish. That’s avery powerful tool at your disposal.

Some people might interpret this as“living in the past,” and will claim thatdwelling on past experiences can bedetrimental if done to such an extremeas to interfere with your continualdevelopment. But there’s a differencebetween living in the past and usingpast successes to help you progress inyour daily life. Reflecting on what hashappened in your life can help you pre-pare for and celebrate what comes next.

There is another powerful benefit ofrecalling past accomplishments andexperiences—you learn from yourself.You are the most influential, effectiveand engaging teacher you’ll ever meet.Sure, you may not be the best at teachingothers; but over the years, you’ve taughtyourself more than anyone else couldhave. And you’re not finished. You’reteaching yourself new things daily.

One of the best ways to learn fromyourself is to catalogue your greataccomplishments. So, take another pieceof paper and write down as many ofyour successes as you can. These arespecific events that make you feel a gen-uine sense of pride. They don’t have tobe monumental; just because youhaven’t climbed Everest doesn’t meanyou don’t have plenty of things toinclude on your list. One of your suc-cesses could be something as simple ashelping your brother pass his seventh-grade algebra class. List all events thatfill you with a sense of accomplishment.

These experiences and events pro-vide the necessary context and knowl-edge to help you do great things goingforward. So go ahead—do a little bit ofdwelling. You just might discover thatyou’re an amazing person. PE

John W. Thompson is the author of You Did It!Celebrating Personal Successes and is the founder ofGOALearn—a professional coaching organization.Visit www.goalearn.com.

ACTION: Celebrate your success in service.

by John W. Thompson

WE’VE OFTEN HEARD THEexpression: Don’t dwell

in the past. The past is past;the future is now; don’t look back. We’vebeen trained to let go, move forward,and to forget.

Hence, many of us spend most ofour time thinking about what’s comingnext—what do I have to do at worktomorrow, what am I going to make fordinner, how am I going to relax thisweekend? We worry so much aboutwhat’s next that we don’t take the timeto reflect on what has happened.

Late one night, I was lying in bedthinking about what I had to do thenext day, when I realized that I was cre-ating tension for myself at a time thatshould have been the most relaxing ofthe day. So I cleared my head and triedto genuinely relax. A fond memoryjumped into my head, bringing a smileto my face. I started thinking about aparticular experience that brought megreat joy when it happened severalyears ago, and soon I was feelingrelaxed and content. The transition wasinstantaneous. By calling upon a posi-tive moment in my life, I was immedi-ately relaxed, rejuvenated, and readyfor what comes next.

The next day I started to reflect onthis change in mindset, and only thenrealized the powerful and positiveinfluence it had on me, both physicallyand emotionally. In an effort to take thispositive experience even further, I start-ed to record all the positive things thathave happened to me in my life—things I’m proud of, experiences thatbring a smile to my face, people whohave made a positive impact on mylife. After about 20 minutes, I had creat-ed an extensive list of life experiences,all of which made me feel great.

Each of us has done things thatmake us feel proud; things that makeus laugh; things that put so muchmeaning into our lives. These memo-ries and achievements are our mostprized possessions. We need to cele-brate those moments.

Record Best MomentsGive it a try. Grab a piece of paper

and write five of the best moments in

TITLE

Celebrate SuccessC a l l u p o n p o s i t i v e m o m e n t s .

S E R V I C E • C E L E B R AT I O N

ries. Acceptance can be an antidote.When you accept reality, you weaken theintensity of negative sensations. Holdingon increases pain, worry, and anger; let-ting go lightens burdens and is freeing.

4. Joy. A transforming experienceoccurs when your mind and body feelgood, and you realize that there are noobstacles to diminishing pain and expe-riencing joy. Your competence leads tojoy—the feeling of pleasure, happiness,and satisfaction. Accepting and enjoyingeach moment and being creative andproductive become natural. PE

Howard L. Millman, Ph.D., is a clinical and consultingpsychologist. Email hlmphd@paintojoy.com.

ACTION: Learn to turn pain into joy.

2. Being here. Focus on being in themoment. Let go of destructive thoughtsand worries. Substitute new perceptionsthat counteract pain and negativity.Stress reduction begins, and creativity isunleashed. No painful past, no worri-some future—just the immediate experi-ence of being here. Accepting realitymeans that events happen, whether welike them or not. Fighting reality hurts;acceptance leads to tranquility.

3. Focus, flex and let go. Focus, flex,and let go is a way to counteract tensionand physical pain and to feel betteremotionally. So, focus on specific bodypain, flex muscles, and let go of painand tension. Know about your pain,focus on the cause, and let go of wor-

by Denis Waitley

YOUR LIFE TAKES PLACE INa context of social, tech-

nological, political, econom-ic, and cultural change. How can youavoid becoming a casualty of change?Take the offensive. Instead of “stewing,”start thinking and doing. Your successdepends on how well you think. Askyourself: What can I offer that “they”aren’t offering? How can I addvalue and enhance the qualityof life of others? Breakthroughideas occur when you calmlysearch for opportunities, notwhen you are anxious or frus-trated.You can only do good ifyou feel good.

Wounded WarriorsRecently I read the book Lefthanded

Soldiers by Gary Eby. It’s dedicated toall of us who have been wounded inlife—physically, emotionally, spiritual-ly, or financially, and yet, against allodds, have overcome adversity andbecome champions! Yet there are menand women who, because of someevent or series of events, have prettymuch given up. Somewhere betweenbrokenness and bitterness, they havelaid down their proverbial swords andsurrendered. They’ve been wounded.

When you are wounded—whenyour “right arm” has been hurt—youcan still become a Lefthanded Soldierrather than allowing circumstances tocondemn you to a life of “what-ifs.”

How many great leaders are no

longer leading? What will our societysuffer because the leadership we needis hurting? What great sickness is rag-ing because the doctors and nurses arein need of healing themselves? Howmany great sermons won’t be preachedbecause an overworked and underpaidpastor is letting criticism keep him outof service? Great public servants, teach-ers, volunteers, entrepreneurs, andpoliticians are all waiting for someoneto care enough to put their arms aroundthem and say, “Let’s get back into thebattle of life again! We need you!”

Great leaders inspire “wounded war-riors” to engage in life again and be win-ners! You can’t wear a victor’s crownwithout having fought a few battles! You

can’t sing before you talk. Youcan’t run before you walk.You can’t have a messageuntil you’ve had a mess, andyou can’t have a testimonyuntil you’ve had a test! Eaglescan’t stay in their nest if theywant to soar. Sitting on theside lines you’ll never be yourbest. God won’t send thirsty

people to an empty well. Heaven’s cupis sweeter once you’ve tasted hell.There’s no wine until the grape has gonethrough the press.

Change is a door that can only beopened from the inside! The willing-ness to change can be inspired by oth-ers, but change is a personal choice.Choice, not chance, determines yourdestiny. So, get back into the battle oflife. Decide to engage in life again andmake a difference. All the victories youwant to experience in life will flow fromthe change in your mindset. PE

Denis Waitley is a speaker, trainer, best-selling author.Call 877-929-0439, email speaker@deniswaitley.com,or visit www.deniswaitley.com.

ACTION: Rise from your wounds to serve others.

Student of ServiceWhen wounded, rise again.

by Howard L. Millman

MOST PSYCHOLOGICAL PAINis unnecessary, yet you

likely experience negativefeelings that interfere with your produc-tivity, morale, and well-being. You expe-rience some frustration, anxiety, anger,and worry, often leading to physicalsymptoms such as back pain, headaches,stomach problems, and tension. Mindand body are inseparable. A healthiermind and body leads to personal happi-ness, less sickness and down time, andmore creativity in solving problems.

While overcoming problems is good,being resilient, creative, and joyful isbetter and prevents further problems.When you experience less pain andmore joy, your life, work, and servicebecome more satisfying and productive.

1. Change thinking. You can changeyour thinking through cognitive restruc-turing, reframing, and rational emotivetherapy. Rational means the ability toreason logically. Amazingly, you mayfail to apply rational thinking to yourpsychological pain. It’s as if you are con-vinced that worry and anxiety areinevitable. “My pain will never go away.I won’t be able to do my favorite things.How can I not be worried or depressed?”Does worry help any situation? Therational answer is “no.” Yet, the worrymay haunt you until the situation getsresolved. It is the perception that causesworry and depression, not the events. Ifyou are consumed by “office politics,”you worry about perceived negativecomments and reactions from others.Rationally, you should be aware of oth-ers’ reactions, interact in a friendly man-ner, gain competency, strengthen yourjob skills, and increase your value.

Perception can be changed! “Worrynever helps. I’ll focus on being a positiveforce for myself and others.” Reality iswhat it is. Anxiety doesn’t change reali-ty. “If the worst happens, I’ll do mybest.” The key is to recognize and thenchange negative thoughts and attitudes,such as jumping to conclusions, exag-gerating, and catastrophizing. You arerewriting your internal script. Negativethinking usually leads to negative emo-tions, such as anger, guilt, frustration,fear, sadness, and anxiety. These emo-tions often cause fatigue, irritability,tension or pain, and lead to addictions.

S E R V I C E • J O Y

Turn Pain to JoyChange your thinking and serve.

S E R V I C E • C H A N G E

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DOES YOUR JOB GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR LIFE?I sometimes look at people who create

“odd” adventures and think to myself:“Those people have far too much time ontheir hands.” I harbor resentment for peoplewho create a life for themselves.

Ask yourself: Do I often miss my chil-dren’s special events because of my workschedule? Do I often volunteer for stuff andthen pull out because I’m overloaded andthen feel guilt? Do I feel guilty about manythings in my life? When was the last time Islept-in? Do I have a sense of purpose for mylife? Do I take time to exercise? Do I feelcomfortable in my own skin? Do my respon-sibilities to work, children, community andpartner compete for my attention? Do Irarely have fun? Have I lost touch with myfriends? Am I missing deadlines?

Being accountable is not about checklistsand bosses who hover over you to make sureyou are on track. It is about writing downyour goals and desires and setting some rea-sonable time lines, coupled with a weeklycheck-in to chat about progress with someone.

So, where do you want to go? And wheredo you start? Take an honest snapshot ofyour life. Record all that is good, and all thatcould use improvement or tweaking.

It’s amazing how long you can see your-self as you want yourself to be: the capable,helpful, together, hip, cool, friendly, gracious,selfless soul who’s always up for just onemore favor, task, role, or duty. Meanwhile,you’re frazzled to the breaking point.

Ask friends and family for an honestassessment. Then ask yourself: How wouldyour friends describe you in each of yourroles? How would you describe yourself?Which roles energize you? What roles wouldyou like to drop? Can you re-define yourselfin any of these roles? Are you more you insome roles than in others? Why? What val-ues shine when you are more yourself?

You can’t go forward unless you knowwho’s taking the journey. You can only besuccessful when you know who and whatyou are and what you want to accomplish.Choose a couple of your to-do’s to move youtoward one of your bigger goals. Then emailme (or a friend) once a week to discuss howit’s going. The results are amazing. PE

Linda Edgecombe is the author of Guilt-Free Accountability.Call 1-888-868-9601, www.lindaedgecombe.com, info@lin-daedgecombe.com or www.guiltfreeaccountability.com.

ACTION: Invite an honest assessment.

What do you really want?Once you’re clear onwhat you really want,you’ll do more of the

things that truly matter to you. Doyou know your core values? Whenyou know what matters most toyou, your choices are much easier.The clarity positions you to gainmore fulfillment and experienceless frustration. Getting clear onwhat you don’t want also helpsyou to figure out what you want.List the things you are tolerating—things that are broken, worn out,don’t feel or look good or makesyou feel bad. See what you need toeliminate or manage. Clear outany expectations that others haveof you. Often you get confusedbecause you think the things oth-ers want for you belong to you—they don’t. Once you’re certainabout what you want, you can bemore conscious about your intent.Use an organizer for identifying,prioritizing, planning and accom-plishing your dreams and goals.Gain the clarity you need so youspend your life doing the thingsthat truly matter to you.—Michael E. Angier, SuccessNet.

The idea of personalexcellence was inventedby the Greeks over 3,000years ago. Greek warriors

lived and died by an unwrittencode—to be the bravest in battle.Over time, they extended theirheroic commitment to the OlympicGames. There were no “silver” or“bronze” medals for runners-up,only first prize—a simple wreathof wild olive leaves, treasuredbecause it signified a true champi-on. The Greeks also celebratedintellectual and artistic achieve-ments. In Athens, for example,playwrights competed at dramafestivals to win prizes for the bestcomedy or tragedy. Both theGames and festivals were consid-ered sacred occasions. Each hon-ored the gods by offering up tothem not ritual sacrifices but thebest examples of what humanbeings could achieve. Greekphilosophers expanded the defini-tion of excellence to apply to each

individual. They taught that weshould strive to be more today thanwe were yesterday, more tomorrowthan we were today—to discoverour special and unique strengthsand to actualize our potential. So,discover those things you’re capa-ble of doing well, and do themwith all your heart and soul. —Stephen Bertman, Eight Pillars of Greek Wisdom

Make time for a Sabbath.On my climb back upfrom the pit of burnout, Iremembered the wisdom

of my grandparents. “I have oneprayer on this Shabbat,” my grand-father would say as he raised hisglass of wine. “May the familyalways stay together.” Everyonewaited for my grandmother’stoast: “May we have health, love,money, and the time to enjoythem.” They would then clinkglasses and shout, “L’Chaim” (tolife). Even when we love ourwork, it is wise to take time to rest,rejuvenate, be with friends andfamily, and appreciate the bless-ings of our lives and our connec-tion with God. The Sabbath is aweekly, 24-hour hour period inwhich you rest, reflect, and con-nect more closely with the spiritualdimensions of life. You replenishyour resources, appreciate themiraculous gift of life, and engagein activities that nourish your soul.—Sage Bennet is the author of Wisdom Walk

Stop multitasking, startchunking. Multitaskingwastes time, energy, andconcentration. You can

achieve greater focus and produc-tivity by chunking—combining thebenefits of focusing on one thingwith the need to do various tasksduring the day. Chunking meanscarving out segments of time thatyou use to focus on one thing.Turn off your cell phone, set youroffice phone to take messages, andshut down e-mail. For a time, youwant to direct all your energiesand thoughts to one task, plan, orproject. Chunking allows you tofocus on what’s important.—Lisa Haneberg, author of Focus Like aLaser Beam

GOALGETTERSCharacter

Service

Physical

Mental

Career

FinancialSocial

PersonalCOACH

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Get a Life and LeadEnjoy guilt-free accountability.by Linda Edgecombe

stewardship with a daily discipline ofappetites and passions—take the bodywhere it most wants to go: health andhappiness, peace and prosperity, abun-dance and fulfillment.

If there be a God and higher purposeto life than mere survival and monetarysuccess (as I attest there is), then walkinga spiritual path with practical feet is awise way to go about life and love.Consider Brittney Spears, Nicole Richey,Paris Hilton, and others who think theirself-made paths constitute a better way.Ask: Where will this path ultimately leadme? Is that a place I really want to go?

The voice of conscience reminds usof right and wrong, duty and honor,responsibility and accountability. Yet attimes, we want to imagine that nothingmatters: choices have no consequences.

We are “free” to choose, and in ourmoral casualness we might suppose that“freedom” lies in the absence of restraint.Why deny what pleases and pleasuresme? Who are you to tell me to stop whatI’m doing or start down a new path?

The converse of walking a spiritualpath with practical feet is to crawl a cor-poral or temporal or financial path withimpractical, dysfunctional feet. Extrapo-lated to eternity, the difference in the twopaths is infinite: literally worlds apart.

We see judgments rendered here andnow—as people self-select where andwith whom they feel most comfortable. PE

Ken Shelton is editor and publisher of PersonalExcellence and Leadership Excellence magazines. Visitwww.LeaderExcel.com.

ACTION: Walk a spiritual path with practical feet.

by Ken Shelton

FOR CENTURIES, THE RAPagainst many well-mean-

ing, good-hearted, artistically-inclined, relationship-centered, orspiritually-minded individuals is thatthey are missing “practical feet,” mean-ing they are not oriented toward busi-ness, law, banking and finance, andhence become family and communitywelfare cases (poor marriage partners).

While this argument has merit, sodoes the rap against money, wealth,power, greed, position, and status mon-gers: that they lack emotional and spiri-tual intelligence and relationship skills;hence, they become caustic, callous,abusive, and self-centered bosses andpower-brokers (poor marriage partners).

The balanced solution is to walk thespiritual path with practical feet—aim-ing for something higher and better;having a noble vision, mission, or ambi-tion; yes, having your dream or castle inthe air—but then building a foundationunder it, lest it topple and subject you topublic ridicule and financial ruin.

Having had three siblings commitsuicide (one with a gun and two withbad habits that left one debilitated andanother amputated), I sense the painand loss that comes with imbalance:with not walking the spiritual path withpractical feet. I see the desperation anddestruction that comes from distortedviews—such as the scarcity mindsets ofcompetition and comparison.

I realize that fulfillment and meaningcome from living in the moment, and yetprojecting forward with a sense of des-tiny and backward with a sense of histo-ry—tethered between a future of promiseand past of preparation. I see the com-plete continuum of human behavior, con-dition, and habit: failure and success, thebest of the spiritual and the worst of thetemporal, corporal, and mortal.

Indeed, we need not wait beyonddeath for judgment, for heaven and hell;they exist here and now. We see peoplemoving inexorably toward their destiny,for better or for worse, primarily as aresult of their choices and mindsets,skill-sets and character.

Practical feet—proactive feet thatwalk and run, skip and dance, ambleand aim toward something higher andbetter in humble service and sustained

by Ann Mincey

ALTHOUGH I WORK IN ANindustry that caters to

exterior beauty and pam-pering, I advise you to work first onyour inner beauty. My principles arebased on a simple truth: what youwant is within your grasp and it’s upto you to develop your life—to glowlike a star. Do you now glow like astar? You will when you attain balanceand inner beauty. You can be a star.You can shine by taking careof your five glow points:

Body: take good care of theinner and outer body.

Mind: shepherd goodthoughts and release badthoughts that enter the mind.

Relationships: These aremost important to me, sinceeverything I have comes through oth-ers to me. Care for your relationshipswith divine kindness.

Resources: earn, invest, give, andspend your resources wisely.

Service: live in alignment with yourvalues, and be forgiving and gratefulfor the love that energizes you to serveothers. How you care for others is ameasure of how you care for yourself.

Begin to believe that you are whoyou seem—live as if it already is so.Learn to forgive, to be thankful, and toserve others. Heed the 9/11 calling: Doit now. Pursue your dreams, before it’stoo late, yet realizing that sometimes

the best action to take is none. Getyour rest. Don’t compare yourself withothers. Love others as you do yourself.Give others what they want most—love. Know when to let go of othersand when to receive the gifts of others.

No matter what, know that God’s incharge. Choose to let him lead you. Mymessage is rooted in my faith. I grew upa pastor’s daughter. Standards andexpectations were high. My parentsalways modeled “never settle for any-thing lower than the best and highest,”and the example was our faith in God’sabiding Love. God clearly gave me thiscall through the scriptures. I believe indaily “checking in.” This ritual keepsthe “still small voice” clear to my heart,and I try to follow it—and this is themost secure guidance I’ve had in my

life. I draw my inner strengthfrom God, and believe that nomatter your beliefs or affilia-tions you can find guidance,peace, and strength from ahigher power. You can becomemore than you’ve been and dis-cover within qualities of beautyand peace.

My life is a journey toward innerbeauty—finding the unique beautyeach person is and the best image thatwill carry that beauty. Beauty isn’t skindeep—there should also be substancein your lifestyle. As you Get Glowing,you will contribute fully, feel fulfilled,and earn more so that in turn you cangive more. You take in the nourish-ment you need in order to enable oth-ers to shine as the stars they are, too. PE

Ann Mincey is VP of Communications for Redken,beauty supply manufacturer, division of L’Oreal USA,and author of Get Glowing! Visit www.Redken.com.

ACTION: Take care of your five glow points.

S P I R I T U A L • J U D G M E N T

1 6 w w w . L e a d e r E x c e l . c o m P e r s o n a l E x c e l l e n c e

Get GlowingCultivate inner beauty.

Spiritual PathsWalk with practical feet.

S P I R I T U A L • G L O W

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