PATHOLOGICAL GAMBLING - ANTISPIRITUALITY

November 10 (Reno) and 12 (Las Vegas), 2009

Lynnette Stilley, MFT, LADC, CPGC-S

Comprehensive Therapy Centers,

Las Vegas, NV

lynnsctc@yahoo.com

Agenda

Scheduling 8:30 AM – 4:15 PM Lunch 11:45 – 1 PM Breaks 10 AM and 3 PM Locations

Order of Materials 8:30 –10 AM Pathological Gambling 101 10 AM on – Spirituality and Pathological

Gambling

Outline

Pathological Gambling “101” Spirituality and Pathological Gambling

A. DefinitionsB. Importance of spiritualityC. Lack of spirituality

A. CausesB. CharacteristicsC. Gamblers’ magical thinking

Outline, cont.

Spirituality and Pathological GamblingD. Why talk about spirituality?

Values (examples) Gambling and spirituality

E. Why don’t we talk about spirituality?F. Treatment implications

A. Our new role B. AssessmentC. GoalsD. Signs of achievement

Definitions

GAMBLING: “. . .any betting or wagering, for self or others, whether for money or not, no matter how slight or insignificant, where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon chance or “skill” constitutes gambling.” Source: Gamblers Anonymous

OR:Players wager money or object of valueBet is irreversible once placedThe game’s outcome relies on chance

Definitions, cont.

PROBLEM GAMBLING: “. . .any involvement in risky gambling behaviors that

adversely affects the individual’s well being – this may include issues of relationships, family, financial standing, social matters and vocational pursuits.”

Source:

Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling, 1995

Definitions, cont.

COMPULSIVE (PATHOLOGICAL) GAMBLING“. . .a chronic and progressive disorder in which the individual

is preoccupied with gambling and the urge to gamble to the extent that the gambling behavior compromises, disrupts or damages personal, family and vocational pursuits.” Source:

Dr. Robert Custer, M.D., 1989

ORChronic and progressive failure to resist the impulse to gamble

and such gambling behavior compromises, disrupts or damages personal, family and vocational pursuits.

Diagnostic Criteria (DSM IV)

A. Persistent and Recurrent Maladaptive Behavior (5+) 1. Preoccupation

2. Increasing bets 3. Unable to control, cut back or stop 4. Restless when cutting down or stopping 5. Escape from problems 6. “Chasing” to get even 7. Lies 8. Illegal acts 9. Jeopardize relationships, job, career, education 10. “Bail outs” from othersB. Gambling behavior not accounted for by Manic Episode

Types of gamblers

Professional Antisocial (criminal)

Casual Social

Serious Social

Problem

Pathological (compulsive)

Consequences of problem gambling

Emotional - depression, anxiety & stress

Financial - credit/personal debt, property loss

Personal - neglect, lying, arguments, abuse

Employment - lost productivity, absenteeism

Legal - bad checks, embezzlement, robbery, insurance fraud

Spiritual

Phases of compulsive gambling

Spirituality

Definitions

“Of the spirit” – “Inspiring principle or dominant influence; soul; nature of a person, disposition, attitude; essence or real meaning…” Webster’s

“The word spiritual can be said to describe those characteristics of the human mind that represent the highest and finest qualities, such as kindness, generosity, honesty, and humility”. GA, Combo Book, Page 1

Definition, cont.

Not so official: That which gives meaning, connectedness, serenity and

purpose to life Integrity of thoughts, emotions and behaviors; the whole,

not the separate parts, of a person. Being a positive, creative being.

The motivational and emotional source of the human search for meaning.

Definition, cont.

Leads to enhanced feelings of well being, inner peace and life satisfaction.

Our ability to relate to others, to ourselves and to God – as we understand Him/Her. Gamblers Anonymous, A Day at a Time

Long-term versus short term emphasis, “seeing the bigger picture”, getting perspective.

The importance of spirituality

Spirituality is:

Part of who we are

A protective factor

An enhancer of well being

Principle utilized by thousands of people recovering

from addictions

Causes of lack of spirituality

Spiritual abuse

Crisis of faith / conflicts in belief system

Limited spiritual experience

Disconnected from / conflicts with significant others

Common characteristics when spirituality is lacking

Rage at or fear of God

Loss of meaning of life

Overly rigid or underdeveloped conscience

Hopelessness

“Faith” vs ‘Luck’ attitude (Magical Thinking)

Common characteristics when spirituality is lacking, cont.

Guilt and shame Guilt: I did something bad. “I gambled far more than I

wanted to, and that action was ‘bad’.” Shame: I did something bad, therefore I’M bad. “I

gambled far more than I wanted to, and that was “bad”. Therefore I am bad. I am a compulsive gambler and will always gamble far more than I want to. I might as well not even fight these cravings, because there is no hope I can change – besides, haven’t I tried in the past?”

Magical thinkingof the problem gambler

Superstitions and rituals

Systems

Personification of gambling device

Near-Miss Belief

Hot / Cold Machines

Chasing Beliefs

Ability to influence the outcome

Why talk about spirituality to clients?

A disaster such as what has just happened to them can actually be a time of great opportunity; it can be a time, with the help of a support system, in which they can re-value their life. They can consciously adopt the beliefs that they want to believe. For instance, humility: one of the lessons to be learned from this disaster is that they are human: pretty special, but not the biggest, smartest or best thing in the universe! There IS something “bigger than you or I”. What they call that is entirely up to them. Many people call it “God” or “Higher Power”, but they can call it “tennis shoe” or “rock”, “this group” or “GA” or “wisdom” if they want.  

Lynn

Examples

Humility: one of the lessons to be learned from this disaster is that they are human: pretty special, but not the biggest, smartest or best thing in the universe! There IS something “bigger than you or I”. What they call that is entirely up to them. Many people call it “God” or “Higher Power”, but they can call it “tennis shoe” or “rock”, “this group” or “GA” or “wisdom” if they want.   Lynn

Examples

Tolerance and acceptance: These may be necessary as clients participate in a support system. As GA says, “Principles, not personalities”! Knowing what it is that they need and getting it from their support group is necessary for recovery, but so is being realistic. This takes walking the fine line of not ignoring messages they don’t want to hear, but also not giving too much authority to what any one person says. Lynn

Why don’t we want to talk about spirituality to clients?

Spirituality vs. Religion

This is the issue that makes most counselors avoid the whole issue!

“Religion is for those who don’t want to go to hell; spirituality is for those who have already been there.” Anon

Therefore, know: You CANNOT avoid it! It must be included in goals and treatment

planning, especially in referrals to spiritual advisors and leaders Know your religious beliefs and keep your boundaries: do NOT

impose your beliefs on others!! Redefining the word God/Higher Power may help, I.e., “Good

Orderly Direction”, the program, doing the next right thing, etc.

Spirituality and problem gambling

To a gambler: Meaning and purpose come from winning Luck and Chance are their Higher Power Winning is a proof of spiritual worth Winning defeats God, or an oppressive belief system Gambling provides an escape from grief and despair or

an oppressive belief system

Problem gambling vs. spirituality

PROBLEM GAMBLER SPIRITUALITY

EGO – edging God out – the source POWER greater than of belief is in the self self

SEPARATENESS – not being a BELONGING – part of being a part ofDISCONNECTED – from self, CONNECTION – to others,

community, universe self, others, community, universe

FANTASY and illusion TRUTH - reality about who you really are

EMPTINESS – needing more FULFILLMENT

Problem gambling vs. spirituality

PROBLEM GAMBLER SPIRITUALITY

SHAMEFUL WORTHYSECRETIVE HONESTSCARCITY ABUNDANCEATTACK & DEFEND FORGIVING &

HEALINGHIDDEN OPENARROGANCE HUMILITYFEAR LOVE

EVERYONE has spirituality. Gamblers did, even when they were gambling, and perhaps gambling WAS their spirituality – it served to provide meaning to their life, provided a connection to SOMEthing, and was the framework for making decisions about their life. However, it was a harmful spirituality, and now they may want to choose something more healthy. Gambling was about randomness and chaos, not meaning and purpose; about competition against a higher system; about control, not acceptance of one’s real place in the universe – as an important but not all-important part of it. It led to isolation, alienation, and behaviors that were the direct opposite of what they had valued in the past.

Lynn

Treatment implications

Our New Role

Encourager: Encourage the client to take action, utilize the 12-Steps

Director: Direct client towards need for spiritual awareness

Guide: Pointing out alternate routes, hazards to avoid,

milestones and guideposts Healer:

Provide a safe environment for healing, growing, balancing

Assessing spiritual coping styles

Deferring – passive, “God will handle it” Pleading – bargaining, “If only____, I promise

I’ll_________” Self-directing – active, handle it without God Collaborative – active partner with God

Spiritual goals

Develop helpful spiritual beliefs

Connect to faith community

Find a spiritual advisor: pastor, priest, rabbi

Devotional / scripture reading

Developing helpful faith rituals and practices

Connecting with family and friends

Doing a life review

Spiritual goals, cont.

Pray

Meditate

Listen to music

Get out in nature

Find/make a sacred space

Find a sense of peace

Use humor / laughter

Spiritual goals, cont.

Find value in all situations

View self in relation to a higher purpose

Seek God - not play God

Let go of expectations

Experience ‘the moment’

Feel gratitude

Spiritual goals, cont.

Most (?) important: A SPIRITUAL SUPPORT SYSTEM

Everyone grew up with some sort of spirituality in their childhood support system. They may decide to return to that belief system, or they may need to learn about and adopt another one, or they may need to revise some of either of those choices. Lynn

Spiritual goals, cont.

A SPIRITUAL SUPPORT SYSTEM, cont.How do we do so, however? WITH THE HELP OF

SPIRITUAL PEOPLE that we respect. These are people that seem to have some purpose and meaning in life, that are not egotistical (think they are a higher power!) nor a doormat (think they don’t deserve a higher power or place in the universe), are connected to others, and have a conscious set of beliefs and values. Lynn

Spiritual goals: AA promises

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

 We will comprehend the word serenity and  We will know peace.

Spiritual goals: AA promises, cont.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

 That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

 We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

 Self-seeking will slip away.  Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will

change.

Spiritual goals: AA promises, cont.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

 We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.

 We will suddenly realize that [God] is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” AA Big Book

Signs of Awakening/Protective Factors against Relapse

Finding value/fulfillment in any situation View self in relation to a higher purpose, a sense of

belonging and connection Seek God, not play God Let go of inappropriate expectations and see

truth/reality Be able to experience the moment Feel gratitude and self-worth

THE SERENITY PRAYER

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY… Serenity means that I no longer recoil from

the past, live in jeopardy because of my behavior now, or worry about the unknown future. I seek regular times to re-create myself and I avoid those times of depletion which make me vulnerable to despair and to old self-destructive patterns.

THE SERENITY PRAYER, cont.

TO ACCEPT THE THINGS THAT I CANNOT CHANGE…

Accepting change means that I do not cause suffering for myself by clinging to that which no longer exists. All that I can count on is that nothing will be stable – except how I respond to the transforming cycles in my life of birth, growth and death.  

THE SERENITY PRAYER, cont.

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN…

Which means remembering that to give up my attempts to control outcomes does not require I give up my boundaries or my best efforts. It does mean my most honest appraisal of the limits of what I can do.

THE SERENITY PRAYER, cont.

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Wisdom becomes the never forgotten recognition of all those times when it seemed there was no way out, and new paths opened up like miracles in my life.

Source: A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps, Patrick Carnes, CompCare Publishers, 1989.