passion to performance

PPPaaassssssiiiooonnn tttooo PPPeeerrrfffooorrrmmmaaannnccceee

FFFooorrrmmmuuulllaaa fffooorrr SSSeeelllfff---MMMaaasssttteeerrryyy

By Aneesah Bakker

Contents

The Power of Passion Sow your OATS to reap the benefits

13

The Power of Collaboration Person-Centred Collaboration

6

The Power of Experience 9 The Big Picture 11 The Power of Creative thinking I-VOLUTION

12

The Power of Perception 20 The Power of Imagination 21

Phase I - Find your Passion 24 Level 1 - Initiation 26 Level 2 – Immersion 32 Level 3 - Incubation 38 Level 4 – Innovation 45 Level 5 - Integration 51

Phase II - Create Passion-Driven Goals 57 Level 1 - Initiation 59 Level 2 - Immersion 68 Level 3 - Incubation 77 Level 4 – Innovation 84 Level 5 - Integration 92

Phase III - Cultivate your Resourceful State 101 Level 1 - Initiation 103 Level 2 - Immersion 109 Level 3 - Incubation 115 Level 4 – Innovation 124 Level 5 - Integration 132

The Power of Connection Create Congruent Connections

140

Passion to Performance 141

About the Author 146

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my father who taught me the value of personal authenticity and how to be ‘big on planning’. He taught me the good habits of relaxation and training my imagination. He always encouraged me in my dream to nurture mind-power and to help others in their Quest.

1

The Power of Passion

Even a thought, even a possibility can shatter us and transform us

Friedrich Nietzsche

My dream and my passion are to extend a hand to others, to spark a small insight that has the potential for profound and lasting transformation.

When I decided to write this book; my objective was to write a book that could stand on its own, with its’ own merits and benefits. This was intended to benefit those whom I did not coach directly. I wanted to reach more people – people who wish to add value to their coaching partnerships and those who choose to self-coach. Of course, there are many other potential uses for my book. This would include providing a guide for those who wish to coach others, be it in a formal or informal, everyday context.

My purpose is also to write a book that can be used by my clients to supplement our coaching collaboration. In the same vein, I also want to make available a more comprehensive supplement to the workshop training manuals and workbooks for those who wish to continue on their journeys of self-mastery.

This book integrates in-depth research and experience on a topic which was presented in various forms, including a thesis on Personal and Professional Goal Setting and Goal Management in Coaching. For my thesis, I seriously contemplated using the alternate title of Creating Congruent Connections - Managing Your Goals to Manage Yourself. Instead, I decided on the more academic version. The point is, when deciding on your mission and goals; you need to consider the outcomes sought. Furthermore, when you have clear outcomes, you can afford to have and benefit from being flexible in the means you choose to attain your goals.

This book is also based on a humanistic approach to goal setting. I believe in starting with where the person is and honouring and prizing the person’s strengths and their potential. This is the foundation of an approach I have named OATS™.

2

OATS™ is intended to emphasise the creation of options and opportunities as well as the use of tools and techniques across contexts. My specific focus is on mobilising opportunities and assessing benefits and value from an ecological perspective. I will elaborate on the ecological perspective throughout this book.

I have also developed a model which serves as a framework to facilitate the process of goal setting and management. I was tempted to present this as the title of this book. Perhaps, now that I have written this book, I might choose to write an independent book on the SMARTEST STAR model.

At this point it is important to me to present the overall concept of using a goal management model within a particular context and also, and most significantly, creating a goal that is congruent to who you are and where you want to be. I have sought to demonstrate, how you might also add additional dimensions to this process. A dimension I concentrate on is that of creativity.

I seek to start with your passions and to enable you to connect this to not only what you want to achieve, but also to how you want to achieve it.

This book has evolved out of the framework I use to guide my face-to-face coaching, training and workshops as well as consultancy service. I call this framework “From Passion to Performance – A Formula for Self-Mastery” and so this has become the title of my book.

I have sought to be clear and transparent in my position on the topic so that you may benefit not only from the actual content but also from my modelling of the processes involved in all three phases of self-mastery. This book, therefore, also serves as an actual example of how I developed and applied its contents based on a specific aim, focus and other aspects I perceived as being significant, viz. a humanistic philosophy and features of creativity as these align with my belief in human potential.

3

Sow your OATS to reap the benefits

All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience

Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

OATS™ is an approach and a unique system of worksheets that I have developed to enable you, in a creative, effortless and playful way, to achieve successful and personally authentic outcomes. OATS™ concentrates on sourcing your potential as well as creating opportunities for experiential learning.

My assumption is based on a strengths-based approach. This is my belief in prizing and optimizing the person’s strengths to give better outcomes and more meaningful, sustainable and personally fulfilling outcomes. It is based on the belief that we all have unique strengths and talents that open up a wider variety of potential, viz. opportunities and options. Opportunities and options can also be referred to as alternatives.

Why are OATS so significant? The most significant feature of OATS is that it is designed to target and mobilise your strengths. This refers to all of your strengths as represented by the acronym. OATS™ is a creative and versatile system that can easily be adapted to your learning style.

The benefits of using a strengths-based perspective are obvious. Your strengths as represented by this acronym are the central focus of my book.

The following table represents various areas of strengths. This representation is certainly not exhaustive, for example, you can add aptitude, abilities, talents, and many other internal resources that you possess.

O Opportunities, Options A Achievements, Attitude T Tools, Techniques S State, Skills

4

Opportunities

Both opportunities and options thinking fall within the realm of positive thinking. This is not optimism though it does involve one’s ability to perceive and develop opportunities.

Options

Options refer to being flexible and open to objectively assess what options are available. This includes developing the skill of generating a multitude of options and alternatives as a way to moving towards what you want.

Achievements

The experiential approach to learning provides opportunities to build on your achievements. Your past achievements empower you to succeed in the present and the future.

Attitude

Attitudes include perceptions, values and beliefs. It includes the approach you bring to any circumstance. Real personal development as well as success and fulfilment are only possible when you work on cultivating a constructive attitude.

Tools and Techniques

This book provides you with many tools and techniques to add to your toolkit. I also concentrate on sourcing, mobilising and refining tools and techniques you might be unaware that you apply.

State and Skills

Your skill set includes your abilities, talents and strategies. This book emphasises the importance of your state and how you can read, access, interpret and mobilise your states to create a Resourceful State. This book is about your State for Excellence.

5

Objectives:

The main objective of this book is to provide you with the OATS™to:

• Enable you to explore your passion • Enable you to successfully set personal and/or

professional goals that match your passion • Enable you to creatively connect and stay connected to

your passion • Enable you to use your passion to drive your actions • Enable you to nurture your resourceful state so you can

engage it more easily

Who will benefit:

• Anyone who wants to be successful in any personal or professional goal will benefit.

• Anyone seeking to develop their creativity will benefit. • Anyone looking for personal authenticity or greater

congruence between their dreams and actions will benefit.

• Anyone with the courage to pursue personal development.

6

The Power of Collaboration

Whether you are embarking on this quest of personal development on your own or with a coach, the foundation of your quest is relationship and communication.

The foundation of any good collaboration is a sound rapport. In this section, for the purpose of clarity, I will focus on the coach-client collaboration. These attitudes and skills are equally relevant to self-coaching or self-management and will be found to be valuable in any personal and professional relationship.

Person-Centred Collaboration

Coaching is a collaborative partnership, focusing on empowering the coachee in goal setting, goal accomplishment as well as facilitating personal development and fulfilment.

The benefit of contractual coaching is that one has the added value of a different, an original, objective and fresh perspective. Even after working on a short term basis with a coach, you can benefit from reflecting what you think his/her objective, non-judgemental, prizing and creative perspective might be. This will help you think of more options and alternatives, to become unstuck and to find positive ways forward. A coach helps you focus on your resources and to mobilise strengths which may not be apparent to you. Coaching might help you restore and increase your self-confidence.

Taking a different perspective leads to a change in State. It is a useful technique to deliberately choose what kind of state you would like to be in for the task at hand. This is not unlike the common expression ‘I’m not in the mood for this’. There are times when you choose to make a deliberate effort to ‘get in the mood’.

Other examples of a state-change is when you are influenced by the movie you are watching, music you are listening to as well as state changes caused by humour and art.

When you collaborate with a coach, a good coach is attentive to your state and helps you increase your self-awareness so that you can become more accurate in assessing your state. Collaboration will help you align your state to your tasks and challenges. Collaboration will help you determine and choose for

7

yourself what would be a more appropriate and constructive state for that moment. Collaboration thus, will help you align your efforts to your goals.

This alliance is person-centred in terms of the coachee as a person is the centre of the relationship. Of central importance is respecting and prizing and honouring the ‘real person’ inside the coachee. This means honouring the person’s needs, personal well-being, skills, talents, and strengths. It means unconditionally accepting the other in his/her uniqueness, values and beliefs even when you do not share their sentiments. It is being non-judgemental of perceived differences or eccentricities which is not the same as condoning these nor of adopting that behaviour.

The alliance is coachee-centred because it is centred on the coachee’s goals. The coachee determines what he wants for him/her i.e. coachee self-determination. The coach empowers and enables the coachee to look at his/her goals from different perspectives and in different contexts to envision and create other options and possibilities. The coach asks non-directive, open ended questions as much as possible to enable the coachee to explore what they really want and even their motivation for wanting it.

Coaching intervention is focussed on actual goals, behavioural efficiency and performance levels in a context that sustains coachee motivation and commitment as well as promoting self-sufficiency.

The foundation of the collaboration is a relationship built on the principles of the person-centred approach as advocated for by its founder, Carl Rogers. The coach believes in the true potential of the coachee, that only the coachee knows best what direction he wants to take. The coachee is motivated to do what is best for himself/herself i.e. the coachee is driven to and has the power for self-actualisation.

The coach provides the foundation for coachee self-determination by fostering an environment of trust through the following rapport-building skills:

• Empathy • Genuineness • Unconditional Positive Regard

8

Empathy

Empathy refers to the coach’s willingness to connect to and understand the coachee’s reality as experienced by the coachee i.e. from the coachee’s frame of reference. The coach expresses this willingness through investing time and energy to build rapport with the coachee.

Genuineness

Genuineness refers to the coach practicing self-awareness in his/her experience of the coachee. The coach needs to be genuine/ transparent in his/her willingness to share this awareness with the coachee in the interests of coachee development and learning. For example, if the coach realises the coachee’s goal to be wealthy conflicts with the coachee’s values and beliefs about wealth/money, it is the coach’s responsibility to share this in a constructive way with the coachee. The purpose would be to enable the coachee to close the gap between his/her values and goals.

Unconditional positive regard

Unconditional positive regard refers to the coach respecting and prizing the coachee through providing a safe and non-judgemental atmosphere/ relationship. The coach demonstrates acceptance, respect and trust through his/her verbal and non-verbal behaviour.

While the coach consciously and consistently builds rapport with the coachee, this is not an end in itself. Coaching is about results, targets, outcomes, achievement, success and accomplishment.

The coachee’s experience of this attitude from the coach will empower the coachee and help him/her to reclaim personal power. Personal power refers to increased self-esteem, self-confidence and restored faith in one’s own potential.

9

The Power of Experience

It is said that ‘experience is the best teacher’. I would like to give you this opportunity to experience immediate benefits from momentarily adopting a different perspective. Scan over the last two weeks. Scan over interactions you have experienced that involve others. More specifically, consider an interaction that may have preoccupied your thoughts after it happened and might even still have you pondering aspects of what you experienced. This can be a relatively low key incident such as an inconsiderate act or word – someone cutting in front of you in a queue, perhaps. This can be any incident no matter how small that nevertheless troubles you in some way. Now I would like you to fade the characteristics of that experience from your memory. Now, think of your ideal life 5 years from now. Ten seconds is enough. You can see yourself in the future. You have left this experience in the past. You are removed from this experience which by now is long over. In the meantime, you have had many wonderful and positive experiences. You might even be relaxing on a sunny terrace. Look back at that particular distant, vague and now insignificant incident. You probably don’t want to be bothered with this right now. And you know what; you don’t have to be bothered with that right now. Savour your moment of peace and tranquillity and leave that incident in the past where it belongs. You have no need for excess baggage.

You may want to take the opportunity to reflect upon how this other perspective benefited you… on the other hand, you might simply want to go on and savour a few more moments in your altered perspective.

My experiences with my children, partner, friends and others have convinced me that no amount of advice even when consistently applied (nagging included!), will have the same powerful and lasting impact on others as their own experiences have on them.

There have been many times that I have been profoundly touched by a particular experience or demonstration. I have also benefited most from training and workshops when there was a strong emphasis on practical and experiential exercises. In fact, personally, I tend to evaluate training and workshops on the quality and relevance of their practical and experiential exercises. Of course I believe that there is a place for an

10

adequate balance between theory and practice, but what constitutes “adequate balance” is beyond the scope of this article.

As far back as sometime between 551 BC and 479 BC, the Chinese philosopher and reformer Confucius had this to say “I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.” I am certain that quotations like these coupled with sayings such as “seeing is believing” amongst others, have helped form and maintain my belief in the power of experiential learning.

When I studied for my degree in Social Sciences, my lecturers and supervisors taught, through theory as well as through practical and experiential exercises, the benefits of experiential learning. They modelled an inspiring attitude towards learning and change. I believe the powerful influences on my learning and changing perceptions was due to firstly, a willingness and openness to learn; secondly, a transparent agenda/structure that I agreed to; thirdly, my perception that I had some choice in what activities to follow; and most significantly, the actual experience of the facilitative relationships with my “lecturers” and with my “supervisors”.

I experienced genuineness or what I call honesty and openness on the part of the other to share his/her perceptions of our interaction/dialogue in a non-threatening way. I experienced respect, prizing and understanding. I felt safe and accepted. I felt an honest, open-hearted willingness on the part of the other to always look at and acknowledge things from my point of view while at the same time sharing his/her perception as an equal.

Thus, the foundation of my education was the person-centred approach as pioneered by the American psychologist Carl R. Rogers. In my understanding, Rogers was also the pioneer for experiential learning in the modern world. This approach, he recommended in fields as diverse as relationships, parenting, education, business, intercultural diversity and government amongst others. He also maintained that all parties stand to benefit when relationships are governed by humanistic principles.

11

The Big Picture

The process of goal setting and project management follows a general direction as indicated by the table below. The same is true of your collaboration with a coach. Awareness of the stages for successful and sustainable outcomes means that you can increase productivity and the resulting benefits.

Initial Working Sessions Setting the Agenda Plan of Action Mobilising Resources

The coachee is actively involved in generating the agenda, The coach enables the coachee to set a unique and customized goal or project to work on. They collaborate as the coachee decides on a strategy or plan of action made up of measurable and manageable milestones. The coachee takes a decision on how to mobilise resources (the coachee is the most important resource).

Ongoing Working Sessions Reflection/Feedback Self-reflection and self-monitoring

is used as the coachee checks his/her progress against the previously established milestones on an ongoing basis.

Re-assessment and Adjustment Session Re-assessment Modification

The coachee is enabled to re-assess progress and may even consider making modifications or implementing corrective actions to adapt to changing needs and circumstances.

Closing Session Optimizing Benefits In the final session, success, new

skills and learning is consolidated and generalized and integrated into other areas of the coachee’s life. The coachee may wish to examine how to further maintain and maximize positive outcomes and benefits.

12

The Power of Creative Thinking: I-VOLUTION Coping with Change, Creativity and Learning

Change happens… Creative Change needs a helping hand.

The Big Picture provided an overview of project management. It applies equally to the process of coping with change, creativity and learning. I have synthesised this approach with the power of creativity thus creating an integrated process that I refer to as I-VOLUTION.

I-VOLUTION is about change management, it is about managing transitions and transformation. It is a fluid process that shows distinctive patterns and phases of development and flow. Awareness of these naturally evolving phases can lead to a more deliberate and productive learning and change experience with more personally fulfilling outcomes.

Entrepreneurs, outstanding learners, scientists and creative people habitually mobilise this process. When studying successful people one is able to observe particular characteristics (attitudes) and skills as they progress through each level.

These characteristics and skills are evident in babies, for example, when learning to walk. One can observe the behaviours and attitudes that are typical of each level. Why and how a person uses less of this resource as they get older, I can only guess. There is an indication that these attitudes and skills need to be resourced and cultivated for continued benefit.

I personally experience these levels every time I relocate. It is evident in the phenomena of ‘Culture Shock’ that is observed in expatriates during their transitions. It is also true of anyone experiencing any new and challenging experience.

It is also true when setting goals as goal setting concerns creating change through transforming circumstances. The process of goal setting requires the use of creative potential, creative thinking, creative skills and ability and a creative attitude. This is particularly true when a person is empowered to look at options and to think in terms of possibilities so as to create opportunities for change.

13

Goal setting is a creative and innovative process with your resourcefulness being your greatest asset. This book encourages and supports you to consciously use creativity tools and techniques such as brainstorming and visualisation as well as to enable you to enter into a resourceful state for more effective and fulfilling results. This can be called Creative Consciousness or Mindfulness as one deliberately adopts and practices positive attitudes and beliefs one seeks to reflect through ones’ behaviour. I call it Creative or Innovative Thinking.

Innovative thinking is about producing a unique service or product which is what takes place when goal setting. You are seeking to achieve results that are tailored to your needs, through a process of generating multiple options and opportunities.

Studies of successful people show that creative thinking plays a central role to their success. Creativity is evident in characteristics such as flexibility, positive and optimistic thinking, high toleration for frustration, thinking in terms of possibilities, amongst others, and they all contribute towards successful outcomes.

Through my experience and research, I have identified five primary levels that characterise change. These are Initiation, Immersion, Incubation, Innovation and Integration.

Initiation Induction, Introduction, Inception, Ideation, Interested, Information, Initialisation, Imitation

Immersion Investment, Involvement

Incubation Intuition

Innovation Insight, Inspiration, Inflammation, Illumination

Integration Incorporation, Idealisation, Independence, Inclusion Institutionalisation , ‘Iconising’

14

These processes when applied deliberately is an excellent vehicle not only to generate new and unique solutions, but also to lead one through any transition experience.

Level 1 - Induction

Induction refers to the initial process of acquaintance. One focuses on various aspects of the task at hand. This level of interaction involves engaging with the task and ‘getting your feet wet’ so to speak. Introductions and briefings fall under this category.

Level 2 - Immersion

One invests time and concentration as well as other resources on the task. One becomes more invested in the outcome of one’s involvement. Characteristically there is active and deep engagement. Typically, this stage involves making a commitment and letting down boundaries. One becomes more and more immersed until there is the impression of reaching ‘saturation point’. This state involves focus and single-mindedness.

Level 3 - Incubation

One feels that one has reached an impasse or that one has reached a point when no more options seem apparent. It seems like it is necessary to takes time off away from the task. In other words there might be a sensation of feeling stuck or frustrated. Successful people expect to succeed. They are confident that there is a solution and that they will find a solution after a break or letting go.

Level 4 - Innovation

The time out is beneficial and one is able to see the solution which now seems obvious. Such an experience is referred to as the ‘Eureka!’ effect or the ‘Aha!’ experience.

Level 5 - Integration

One relates and applies insight and learning to other interests and areas. This step involves transferring benefits obtained to other, not necessarily identical, contexts. Learning when applied becomes part of one’s knowledge base and skill set. Debriefings include this element.

15

Level 1 - Induction

This level is also known by terms such as initiation, inception, and ideation. People have different preferences as to how they approach situations. Some are able to immerse themselves immediately while others need to approach tasks more gradually. No matter what one’s preferences, the first step is to get started. To do something, anything, that is related to the task or project or learning experience at hand. This might involve the activity of ‘modelling’ the desired behaviour or outcome or acting ‘as if’ you have already achieved the goal and desired outcomes. This is not different from when children ‘play house’ as they try on for size certain roles.

Initiation may also include an external representation of one’s idea. This could be the process of thinking about what is to be written, jotting down a few ideas, mind-mapping, playing a few notes on a piano, etc. Initiation might also include the act of gathering the materials necessary to begin one’s task, project, etc. It could also be attending a briefing, reading an introduction, and so on.

Induction usually explores factors such as current resources, challenges, opportunities, demands, previous experience and so on.

This exploration might include:

• What are the main challenges of the task? • What identical tasks have I performed before? • How much time will I spend on this task? • What do I want to get out of this project? • What unique strengths, abilities, and attitudes am I

bringing to this project?

Depending on the person and the nature of the task, one might discuss one’s plans with others and this may lead to greater commitment and bonding with the task.

One might even experience a sort of ‘honeymoon’ feeling. Optimism is high and one usually ignores or denies the existence of possible obstacles, ignoring weaknesses and limitations. This is not unlike deciding to start a family. If one were aware of exactly what lies ahead, mankind will be in danger of extinction.

16

Level 2 - Immersion Immersion, Investment

In this phase, one uses as many skills and strategies one can think of to solve the problem, attain a solution or to cope with and rise above the change/challenge.

One actively seeks to come up with as many possible ideas and solutions as possible. First one might look for ideas to emulate, imitate, role models, etc. One also seeks inspiration from experience and applies tried and tested strategies. The focus is to generate as many ideas as possible, with little attention given to quality. As ideas are generated, one favours certain solutions over others. This is called brainstorming. This creative thinking technique, even when applied haphazardly and without deliberation, is a natural and not uncommon strategic choice.

Then one sets aside limitations and opens up to other strategies. There might be a fleeting temptation to quit – the more one learns, the more one realizes how much more there is to know, in other words - how little one knows. Self-doubt and other anxieties might pose an additional challenge. One might experience resistance from others, social pressures which might give rise to hesitation. Engaging with the situation or task usually deepens one’s commitment to pursue one’s ends.

When motivation and commitment is sufficiently high; one realizes that one has already invested too much into the task or that one has nothing to lose. There might be a feeling of frustration or a sense of chaos and uncertainty. One perhaps feels overwhelmed and yet at the same time realises that there ‘is no turning back’. At this point there may be the belief or perception that there is more to gain than to lose were one to withdraw or retreat from the task.

People who succeed through this phase exhibit the following characteristics. They desire the end result, and believe in the inevitability of a successful resolution. They expect a successful outcome and are determined to move through frustration. They show great perceptual and behavioural openness (curiosity) and flexibility.

17

Level 3 - Incubation

Incubation, like the other levels, is a natural evolution in change, creativity and learning experiences. A deliberate mobilisation of any of these levels will lead to more productive outcomes.

Sometimes one becomes so immersed in a task and fails to read signals of when to ‘have a break’. One continues working beyond the stage where it is useful. This may even leave to burn out and abandoning the project.

Useful questions to ask are: • Have I given 100% to this task? • Can I make any more progress right now if I were to

continue? • Do I feel stuck? • Could I benefit more from leaving things alone for

awhile?

Incubation gives the creative subconscious the time and opportunity to process disparate information and for assimilation and patterning to occur, uninhibited by conscious processes. Even in cases of feeling that one is no closer to the answer than at the beginning, scientists have found this to be the most fruitful stage of the entire process.

Certain activities are associated with the incubation phase. These include exchanging ideas with others, sleep (the dream state), taking a bath, going for a walk, and many others. These all help one connect at a deeper level which can give rise to flashes of insight.

To encourage this transition from incubation to innovation, you might consider:

• priming yourself in your task before taking your bath • priming yourself in your task before going to sleep • priming yourself in your task and then taking a short nap

One is encouraged to keep a notepad and pencil in the bathroom, next to your bed, and so on. These flashes of insight typical of the Innovation /Illumination phase are so intense and clear that one cannot imagine forgetting them. However, if other interruptions are present or you go back to sleep, these insights might be lost to the conscious mind.

18

Level 4 - Innovation Eureka! Aha! Yahoo! Oh Yeah! Yes!

During immersion, failure to recognise that an interruption (incubation) will be beneficial, might lead to feelings of defeat and giving up (I’ve bit off more than I can chew).

Confidence, faith and courage, accompanied by a planned incubation generally lead to a stage of illumination. There is desire and an expectation of success in spite of feelings of frustration.

There is a sudden, surprising flash of insight at an unexpected moment as an insight is revealed, accompanied by feelings of exaltation. An idea presents itself ‘out of the blue’ so to speak. Cartoons depict this moment with a light bulb or a lightning bolt. You have reached the peak of your performance or the summit so to speak. There is a sensation of surrealistic experience, a feeling of timelessness and weightlessness and of being one with the universe.

There is a feeling of connectedness and a knowing and a feeling that this is ‘right’. There is the feeling that one has arrived! Evaluation of success at this point is internal and non-judgemental.

This feeling may be brief, instantaneous or momentary. There may be a feeling of pride and abundance. This may be followed by doubts, anxieties and fears, such as fear of censorship, of losing what one has gained, of standing out, of competition, of failure, and so on.

Generally doubts are very short-lived and the person moves onto the next level… integration. This can be facilitated when the person realises that the idea is separate from him/her. While you might be personally invested in your idea, your idea is separate from your identity. You are not your idea. You are more than your idea.

Perhaps one does not feel a flash of insight nor that one has made ground breaking progress. All is not lost. Your groundwork has been done and your work goes ‘underground’. Connections continue to be made through your experiences, even if those connections are currently outside your conscious awareness. Have confidence – when you are ready, the idea will emerge!

19

Level 5 - Integration

After a new experience, the person evaluates the outcomes. An assessment is carried out to determine if the solution is in fact satisfactory. This involves a cost-benefit analysis of the solution to answer the question - ‘does it work?’

One might consider factors such as: • Does the solution fall within the budget and other

constraints? • Does the solution give added value and benefits? • Is the solution sustainable? • How can I put this into practice?

This is then followed by a process of generalization and synthesis. One reflects upon the meaning and value of the solution and learning experience. One explores other areas to which this learning can be applied. This includes generalizing this experience as it relates to your life situation so that it can adapt and improve your life. This does not have to be done explicitly: a good practised learning automatically draws on one’s ability for integration and assimilation.

I encourage you to consider the potential of a more informed and deliberate process such as I-VOLUTION. Just giving attention to any of the levels will certainly add value to your experiences.

The person might consider the intrinsic benefits of the experience to be valuable. Through sharing, the person might also seek acknowledgement as well as to assess the social acceptability of his/her findings. If any of these rewards are judged to be sufficient, motivation is high for the next challenge.

For example, you might read literally hundreds of self-help books but have the impression of having made no real or lasting gains. Part of the gains is the empowering inspiration and focus you receive on a continual basis. This leads to small and gradual yet significant changes. The best books are those that provide opportunity for experience and integration, starting with where the person is, and taking them through experiences that become integrated in a natural way. Experience that empowers through promoting self-awareness and personal power is the most valuable.

20

The Power of Perception

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it. Confucius

As a coach, I am occupied with adult learning and development. All human interaction involves the dynamics of learning with an altering or reinforcing of the perceptions of those involved.

The American Philosopher and Psychologist, William James (1842-1910) had this to say: “Many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” Generally speaking, we learn from and assimilate our experiences based on what we already believe to be true. In other words, we act and react to ‘reality’ based on our existing perceptions of that reality, no matter how we have come to hold those views. We do not usually pause to examine our beliefs, their origin and how to change these. Yet, we all share a natural curiosity, the potential and under certain conditions, the desire to do all of these things.

Our perceptions create our reality as well as the way we act and react to situations. This reminds me of an excerpt I once read. “Do not give permanent reality to temporary things.” (Unknown) I believe this referred to giving permanent reality to arguments, ill-fortune and real or imagined slights. I consider this to be sound, and valuable advice.

My reflection on this is that if I fail once, (I might want to redefine my perceptions of what constitutes failure and success), I might want to ask myself ‘what positive value can I see in this that I might want to keep?’ I can choose not to label myself a failure, exaggerating the extent of this failure and so creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. To me self-fulfilling prophecy means perpetuating negative outcomes and circumstances through our behaviour; be it physical, mental and/or emotional. Confucius shared a similar view when he advised us to ‘Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes’.

I can choose to benefit from breaking or interrupting this habit and cycle. I can deliberately choose to give certain experiences over others a more permanent and sustainable reality.

21

The Power of Imagination

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. Confucius

Just one of the examples of the use and power of imagination is the processing of information through replay and filtering (exaggeration included) of certain aspects in our experiences over others. This process is automatic, inevitable and therefore habitual. This process can be deliberately changed to create constructive habits.

From the above example, it is obvious that perception is dependent upon imagination. Philosophers from the beginning of time have always said that we create and recreate our own reality through our very perception of that reality. There are countless quotations that all tell us the same thing – what exists in reality first existed in imagination.

Perception, creative thinking, visualisation, mental rehearsal, dreams are all examples of the use of imagination. Planning any activity and taking a decision, no matter how mundane, involves visualising the future. Memory too is possible because of our power and ability to imagine objects, events, etc. Life as we know it is not possible without the use of our imaginations.

In fact, many cultures, for example the Aborigines of Australia, believe that life as we know it, the world, our entire physical reality was created through acts of imagination.

Imagination is ability, skill, a tool, a strategy, a technique and much more. Studying the features of imagination can lead to a better use of it. Paradoxically, one can only study its features through its use.

Research has shown that the mind cannot tell the difference between real experience and one that has been imagined in full detail. The most celebrated example of the deliberate use of imagination to improve performance is its use in sports coaching. Sportsmen, especially golfers devote a huge amount of their training time to mental rehearsal and practice (simulation). When one researches other examples of where the power of imagination is mobilized to improve performance and enhance the quality of life, they seem to all have one thing in common. That is, clear goals and outcomes!

22

We are surrounded by proof of the benefits of harnessing this great power. What is imagination really? It is the ability to form a mental image of something. I would replace the word ‘image’ with representation. While imagination is strongly associated with mental images and mental pictures, many people have other strong mental representations of objects and events. Kandinsky, the famous artist, is said to have had a skill called synaesthesia …. When he heard a sound, he saw a colour and visa versa. With this ability you can even taste words! Can you taste the word ‘lemon’?

Through imagination we create a mental ‘reality’ with representations that include all of the five ‘senses’ and more – feelings and emotions, amongst others. One can imagine a sound; taste a smell, and there are many other possibilities. For some people it is easier to see mental pictures, others find it easier to imagine a feeling, and some are more comfortable imagining the sensation of one of the five senses. Training of the imagination gives the ability to combine all the senses – synthesis or synaesthesia.

Imagination is the mental manifestation of what has existed and of what could exist as a physical manifestation. For many people, their inner realities are more real to them than the outer physical manifestation. Their ‘inner experience’ is more profound and real to them than their experience of the outer ‘real’ world.

Imagination can be a mental ‘manifestation’: • Of what already exists • Of what does not exist • Of what existed in the past • Of what did not exist in the past • Of what could exist in the future • Of what may never exist in the future

Whatever the features of imagination, collaborating with our imaginations offers unlimited potential and opportunity. Imagination promises success, satisfaction and happiness. Imagination has been linked to the ‘Power of Attraction’ – if you can imagine something you will attract it!

Be careful of what you ask for you might get it!

23

Passion2Performance

When I designed my workshop “Passion2Performance”, I was aware that there were other equally appropriate and effective options, such as:

• Get Real! • Personal Power – The Seven Powers • The Bridge to Personal Authenticity! • Passion-Driven Performance • Peak your Performance • Raise the Bar • Tailor-made Goals! • Smartest-Star Goal Management • You Always Get What You Want! • Be Careful What you Ask For!

Formula for Self-Mastery

• Find your Passion • Create Passion-Driven Goals • Cultivate a Resourceful State

Whether your definition of mastery concentrates on relationships, wealth, career, health or life enrichment amongst others, there are 5 essential elements for success. Successful people:

Know what they are passionate about. Make sure their goals match their passions. Use creativity to keep their passion alive. Use their passion to drive their actions to successful outcomes. Nurture their resourceful state.

24

Phase I

Find your Passion

To your own self be true William Shakespeare

Purpose:

This part of the workshop provides you with the OATS™ to:

help you explore what you are passionate about help you see how your passions influence your behaviour introduce the concept of personal authenticity increase sensitivity to the positive energy tied to your passion

25

Phase I

Find your Passion

To Be… Or Not To Be

William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

The experiential exercises are designed to enable you to find your passion follow the five natural levels of learning and creativity to maximise their benefits.

Level 1 - Initiation Level 2 - Immersion Level 3 - Incubation Level 4 - Innovation Level 5 - Integration

For each of these five levels, the OATS used are:

• Opportunity Exercise • Options Exercise • Achievements Exercise • Attitude – Perception Check Exercise • Tools and Techniques • State and Skills

The specific OATS™ used are:

• Reading/ Research/ Reflection • Behavioural Interviews –through the use of facilitative

questions • Reflections – through the use of inspiring quotations • Free Association – through the use of prompts to

stimulate creative free thinking/ writing • Brainstorming - to stimulate the generation of as many

options as is possible within a time limit • Imagery Techniques – to facilitate visualisation of the

outcomes you want • Universal Shapes Value Generator ™ - as a tool to

empower and enable you to access and optimize your values, beliefs, passions and strengths

26

Level 1 - Initiation Opportunity Exercise

My Goal

My goal is to enable you to create and achieve goals that are aligned to your values and beliefs as well as to your passions and your strengths.

My Philosophy

Stated simply and briefly – I passionately believe that we all want to experience success and mastery in our lives and we all have the ability to achieve this.

• I apply a ‘humanist’ philosophy to my relationships. • I am committed to mobilising one’s personal power

through promoting personal authenticity. • I believe in deliberate and systematic goal setting and

self-management. • I believe that confidence, motivation and commitment

come from goals and strategies that are aligned to one’s personal philosophy.

• Creativity is the essence of a Resourceful State.

These factors represent my personal formula for self-mastery. I call them the five pillars for a successful and fulfilling life...

27

Level 1 - Initiation Options Exercise

Creative Assumptions

My work is founded on the following assumptions:

• The source of our strengths is our passions • Our passions are generated by our values and beliefs • Our passions are the primary motivators and generators

of our actions

What assumptions and presuppositions do you make regularly about yourself and others?

Which kind of thinking reflects your assumptions about yourself and others?

• Win – Lose

• Win – Win

• Lose – Win

• Lose – Lose

28

Level 1 - Initiation Achievements Exercise

Creative Methodology

Change happens... it is Creative Change that needs a helping hand

I will engage you in a variety of activities using my unique system of experiential worksheets called OATS™.

I have designed OATS™ to source and capitalize on your unique strengths patterns. This strengths-based approach ensures greater motivation and optimal goal attainment and fulfilment.

Personal authenticity refers to self-determination of goals that are congruent with your passions. This too, increases motivation and as a result ensures optimal goal attainment (excellence) and fulfilment. This process is regenerative - which means you move forward from strength to strength.

What methodology do you favour?

• Do you start a project from your inner strengths or from your limitations?

• Do you start a project from a position of personal power or from a position of weakness?

• Do you start a project from a position of abundance or from a position of lack?

29

Level 1 - Initiation Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Positive Focus for Unconditional Abundance

We are what we focus upon all day long…

• What value do you give to genuineness, congruence and personal authenticity?

• Describe a time when you gave priority to your values and beliefs?

• Describe a time when you where grateful for what you have?

• What are the limitations (conditions) you put on things that causes a reduction on its’ perceived value?

• Describe a time when you only realised the value of what you had when you lost it?

30

Level 1 - Initiation Tools and Techniques

Experiential Learning or a Learning Experience?

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand

Confucius

I utilise tools and techniques that promote experiential learning. I believe real learning happens chiefly through personal experience, for example, when being taught a skill; one learns the skill through its use and application.

What kind of learning do you prefer?

• Being taught through lectures? • Being shown something by means of presentations? • Hands-on learning?

Learning through Reflection

When exploring any topic, it can be useful to begin by answering reflective questions. I find the ‘six faithful serving-men’ to be a valuable tool which I can apply to most tasks.

I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); their names are: What and Why and When and How and Where

and Who. Rudyard Kipling

• What am I passionate about? • Why am I passionate about it? • When do I feel most strongly about something? • How do I know that x is my passion? • Where do I feel most energised? • Who is someone I admire for their passion?

31

Level 1 - Initiation State and Skills

Embrace your Passion

Nothing great has ever been accomplished in the world without passion.

Hebbel

Through the use of a quotation, you have the opportunity to explore your passions. These questions serve as a ‘warm up’ or initiation for this module. I find that my passions reflect my priorities, principles, philosophy and paradigms.

• What do I think passion refers to? • Why is passion important? • When have I been most passionate about something? • How do I feel when I am using my talents and strengths? • Where do I get my motivation from? • Who has impressed me because of their passions?

32

Level 2 - Immersion Opportunity Exercise

Drive your Passion

Your passion is the steering wheel of your life. Take hold of your passions to drive your life to success and fulfilment.

This exercise provides you with an additional opportunity to explore your passions. Prompts can be a single word or a series of words and even a picture, statement, quotation, or even an ink-blot. These, like questions, stimulate and access your ideas on a given topic. Prompts offer freedom and flow. Because of their great potential for in-depth exploration, they are popular in journaling.

Prompts to stimulate creative free writing and thinking:

I am happiest when….

I get most angry about…

Qualities I admire in others that I would like to possess myself are…

33

Level 2 - Immersion Options Exercise

Creative Brainstorming

Brainstorming is like rolling a snowball down a hill!

Brainstorming continues to be experienced by many to be an extremely useful technique to create and generate options as well as to facilitate exploration on any topic. The aim is to generate as many options and solutions as possible while suspending judgement. Initially, all options are taken to be acceptable and as having equal potential. The objective is to gain flow on the topic and to move toward rather than away from, the solution and outcome desired.

Brainstorming is a natural tool and technique that anyone can learn and practice to use with greater confidence. It is a positive process, because it encourages an attitude of being non-judgemental, open and flexible. It is self-generating and helps one move from strength to strength.

Please use the following diagram to generate your strengths, talents, skills and passions.

34

Level 2 - Immersion Achievements Exercise

My strengths are…

My talents are…

Passion Indicators

Passion indicators refer to the characteristics you would probably observe in a person who is passionate about life, work, a hobby, etc.

If you have ever been deeply engrossed in a task, hobby, etc. you will find some of these descriptive words resonate with you:

Willing Motivated Desire Aligned Expectation Initiative Intrinsic motivation Interest Direction from within Enthusiasm Purpose Peace Self-directed Life is meaningful Values Sense of belonging Fulfilment Balance Confidence Personal power Energetic Essence Heart Guided Soul Driven Focus Connection Effortless Natural Talented Gifted Spirited Generous

35

Level 2 - Immersion Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Habits

I believe human beings like to order their experiences and develop certain systems to simplify their lives. I call these systems habits. But sometimes our habits no longer serve their original purposes and might even become dysfunctional – in other words they get in our way.

This simple exercise demonstrates this. Fold your arms in a way that you find natural. This probably feels comfortable and usual. Now fold your arms the other way round. This probably feels different… How do you find this experience? While change can be uncomfortable, sometimes all it takes is small adjustments done consistently before it starts to feel natural and comfortable. Were you to relearn how to fold your arms, you will find that in a short time you become habituated to this new way!

List 5 things that reflect your passions, strengths, values, beliefs, priorities and dreams.

1. ……………………..

2. ……………………..

3. ……………………..

4. ……………………..

5. ………………………

36

Level 2 – Immersion Tools and Techniques

Universal Shapes Value Generator ™

Instructions:Draw each of the following five shapes on a single sheet of paper. Position the shapes anywhere you please. You may choose to represent a shape in a way that is most instinctively meaningful to you.

Triangle Circle Spiral Square

Cross

Now, alongside each shape on your drawing, write down one of the five priorities, passions and strengths you identified in the previous exercise.

37

Level 2 – Immersion State and Skills Exercise

Association

Instructions:Write a list numbered one to five. Alongside each number, write down the corresponding shape and passion/strength identified in the previous two examples.

For example:1. circle – success 2. square – foundation 3. spiral – progress 4. triangle – connectedness 5. cross – focus

1. ………………………………………………………

2. ………………………………………………………

3. ……………………………………………………..

4. ……………………………………………………..

5. ……………………………………………………..

38

Level 3 - Incubation Opportunities Exercise

Free Association

Instructions:Now complete the following as shown in the examples that follow. There is no right or wrong responses. This exercise aims to stimulate a process of free association and needs flexibility and being non-judgemental. It is not necessary to over-analyse your responses. Feel free to make any adaptations you wish to make the exercise more meaningful or fun for you!

This exercise reflects your achievements so far on this venture of discovering and affirming your passions and strengths. Continue as shown below, getting into the flow of the exercise. The ideal is to complete the entire exercise without interruption.

39

Level 3 - Incubation Opportunities Exercise (continued)

Example:The circle reminds me of cake Cake represents celebration. Celebration is important because it means there is something to celebrate. The cake is round like the sun The sun is orange like fire The circle is complete and whole. I like to achieve my goals.

the 1----------------------- reminds me of 1a----------------------

1a--------------------------------------represents 1b---------------

1b-------------------------------------- is important because ------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The 1----------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------- Like -------

---------------------------------------------------------- Like -------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I want ----------------------------------------------------------------

40

Level 3 - Incubation Options Exercise

Sow a thought, and you reap an act; Sow an act, and you reap a habit;

Sow a habit, and you reap a character; Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.

Samuel Smiles

(PS. Sow your OATS and you’ll have something to smile about! The first step in changing any habit is to state that habit in the positive. For example, “to stop frowning” equals to smile more often.)

Describe a situation where your habits reflect your values and priorities? To facilitate your response you could include:

• What were your specific actions? • What did you do? • What did you say? • How did you feel? • What was your reaction? • Does this reflect your typical approach in such a

situation?

41

Level 3 - Incubation Achievements Exercise

Determination

• What have I managed to do successfully that required perseverance?

• Why did I persevere?

• How have I successfully adapted to change in the past?

• When have I shown flexibility?

• Where have I proven that I can be optimistic and confident?

• Who is a successful person I admire?

NB: You might have noticed that these questions have been phrased in a way that elicits responses which open up further exploration of the relevant behavioural elements. This is called ‘Behavioural Interviewing’. Behavioural based interviewing focuses on the person’s specific actions in relation to specific situations and specific tasks.

42

Level 3 - Incubation Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Feedback

You may refer any of the exercises that you have completed so far. Please choose an exercise that was challenging to you. I would like to suggest that you use the Universal Shapes Value Generator exercise.

Explore the following:

• How did you experience carrying out this exercise?

• Did you experience any frustration?

• How do you feel when you are uncertain?

• What does it feel like to not know the direction, purpose or outcome of an activity?

• When did you feel most comfortable (if at all)?

• Which parts of the exercises used your strengths?

43

Level 3 - Incubation Tools and Techniques

You only realise how limiting your philosophy is when you experience how liberating it can be!

For example, for a long time my philosophy included the following ‘don’t criticise, condemn or complain’. Yet I still found myself doing these things to a greater extent than I was comfortable with. After many years, I realised that this motto can better serve me if I rephrased it in the positive. My motto became ‘Do compliment, connect and collaborate’. My new motto is much more empowering and easier to live up to.

Another example of when my motto serves me well is as follows... Being an accompanying spouse of a diplomat, I relocate every three to four years. I decided to develop a motto to empower me and to keep me focused on my goal to use every move as an opportunity. My motto helps me to embrace my transitions so as to create a life enhancing transformation…

Life goes on… only differently!

My artistic and computer skills have helped me to create digital art and paintings to represent my philosophy. My art depicts this motto by means of a magnificent butterfly emerging from eggshells that open like oysters! I enjoy sharing my experiences with other expatriates and have featured in various publications.

My motto serves as a point of reference and a ‘lighthouse’ to keep me focussed and on track.

Speaking metaphorically, I believe your ‘Mission Statement’ will prove to be the most useful tool you can have in your personal toolkit. Your mission reflects your ‘purpose’ and your ‘personal philosophy’.

Your mission can be represented by a statement, a quotation, a picture, a photograph, a book, a movie, a poem, a fairytale, and even a metaphor. I am sure you can think of other possible ways to represent your purpose.

44

Level 3 - Incubation State and Skills

Revitalize, Renew, Refresh

Make a list of 5 things that you have found to be useful whenever you need to relax and revitalise yourself. For example, take a bath, go for a walk, have a cup of tea, etc.

1. ……………………………………….

2. ……………………………………….

3. ……………………………………….

4. ……………………………………….

5. ……………………………………….

Are you ready to start looking for a motto, quotations, painting or any other tangible object that can serve as a visual representation of your passion, goals and/or philosophy? Why not start with the poem you created in the Value Generation Exercise above?

45

Level 4 - Innovation Opportunity Exercise

Begin at the beginning… with the end in mind.

‘Begin at the beginning’ refers to starting with your passions and your strengths. The ‘end’ refers to the results and outcomes that you want. This module focuses on sourcing your passion and your strengths with the aim to mobilise them to get what you want.

List your priorities and the values that are important to you.

1. …………………………………

2. ………………………………..

3. ………………………………..

4. ………………………………..

5. ………………………………..

46

Level 4 - Innovation Options Exercise

Three Wishes

If you were given three wishes, what would you wish for?

…………………………………………………

………………………………………………...

………………………………………………….

Complete the following:

• If I won the lottery, I would …………..

• Wealth means …………………………………

• If I did not have to worry about money, I would …

47

Level 4 - Innovation Achievements Exercise

How well do you know yourself?

• My virtues are…

• I consider my vices to be?

• My idea of an ideal vacation is…

• What I say most often to myself is…

• Three things I like best about myself are…

48

Level 4 - Innovation Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Personal Authenticity

Personal authenticity and personal development focuses on aligning your values to your habits or visa versa. This exercise helps you to source five of your values and to compare them to five of your habits, or visa versa.

Write down five of your habits. Alongside each habit, write down a corresponding value. NB. Please indicate whether you think that habit supports (or is in conflict with) the corresponding value.

For example:Exercise – Good health and discipline My commitment to exercise supports my values about good health and the high value I place on self-discipline.

Habit Value Yes/No

Exercise Health and discipline yes

49

Level 4 - Innovation Tools and Techniques

The Seven Habits of Peak Performers

Habits can be useful tools that support your values. In the same way, your characteristics really refer to your habits. For example, ‘The Seven Characteristics of Peak Performers’ can be translated to ‘The Seven Habits of Peak Performers’.

Imagine that one of your values is ‘Good Health and Fitness’. List at least 3 habits (behaviours), which would be aligned to this value.

1. ………………………….........

2. ...............................

3. ...............................

List Seven Habits of yours that can support Peak Performance

1. ……………………………………

2. …………………………………..

3. …………………………………..

4. …………………………………..

5. …………………………………..

6. …………………………………..

7. …………………………………..

50

Level 4 - Innovation State and Skills Exercise

Character Traits

Habits can be useful tools that support your values. In the previous exercise, you would have noticed that personal characteristics are inevitably reflected in our habits.

Consider how the following characteristics can be reflected in your behaviour:

1. Being flexible

2. Being curious

3. Being congruent

4. Thinking ‘Win-Win’

5. Being proactive

51

Level 5 – Integration Opportunity Exercise

Self-Actualisation

As described earlier, a humanistic philosophy is one that focuses on human potential. My core principle, based on this philosophy is ‘each of us knows best the purpose of our existence and we each have the potential to realise this purpose’.

The process of striving to realise your purpose in life is called ‘self-actualisation’. The basic assumptions is that humans have a self-actualisation drive and each person knows best what path to take to fulfil this purpose. Exploring your passions and your strengths, I believe, will guide you in the direction of your real purpose.

Principles that reflect this humanistic approach include integrity, responsibility, and self-determination, amongst others.

• How do you think these principles can be reflected in your behaviour towards yourself and others?

• List three of your habits that reflect a belief in yourself, others, in your potential or confidence in your abilities.

• Think of a situation where you ‘do it anyway’ in spite of anxiety or self-doubt.

52

Level 5 - Integration Options Exercise

Fairy God-Mother

• If you had the power to give a gift of three principles to a newborn, what would these be?

• If I had to choose three powers a newborn already has and make a wish for these to never be lost, what would these be?

53

Level 5 - Integration Achievements Exercise

Man in the Mirror

If you were to start with the ‘Man in the Mirror’, as the first step to changing your ways, what would you do?

Look in the mirror and smile at yourself three times a day for the next seven days. What would you say to yourself? Research has shown that we all talk to ourselves all of the time. This is called ‘self-talk’.

Pep-talk is when you talk to yourself or others to increase motivation. You can choose to give yourself a mini pep-talk to accompany your smile.

• What would you say to yourself?

• What words and sentences would you use?

• Think of a specific situation where it could be useful to say more positive things to yourself.

54

Level 5 - Integration Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Global Attitude

What general all encompassing attitude/approach do you have towards yourself, others and life in general?

Which of the following characteristics best matches your overall view towards yourself, others and life in general?

• Optimistic view • Pessimistic view • Realistic view • Idealistic view • Constructive view • Magical view • Your view?

55

Level 5 - Integration Tools and Techniques

Tools and Techniques to practise in this module include:

Self-talk which is saying positive things to yourself

Pep-talk which is deliberately telling yourself that you can do something so as to increase enthusiasm and motivation

Affirmations which incorporate a compliment to yourself. For example, ‘everyday in every way it is getting easier and easier to drink two glasses of water by midday’.

Mantras are a more basic form of self-talk and pep-talk. One repeats a short phrase or word over and over again (mentally or out loud) to produce a kind of humming sound. It is said that this sound causes positive physiological changes. It also suspends judgement of the conscious mind to liberate your reserves of life-enhancing energies.

Physiology modification is when you deliberately change something about your physiology even for a fraction of a second. For example, smile, sit upright, stand up and stretch, and so on. It might be useful to study the non-verbal behaviour of someone you admire and try it out in front of the mirror. This serves as a way of focussing on your goal.

Positive Rephrasing is when one takes the undesirable behaviour one wants to change, rephrasing it in such a way as to become personally empowering. The undesirable behaviour includes mental, emotional and physical elements such as negative self-talk, anxiety, physical behaviour such as procrastination, amongst others.

Put simply, select any behaviour or habit you want to interrupt and restate it in positive terms, i.e. in terms of what behaviour you would like to see more of.

In a way the undesirable behaviour is used as a lever, hinge or pivot to help you define the desirable behaviour.

56

Level 5 - Integration State and Skills

Believe in Yourself

The statement ‘believe in yourself’ might be called a cliché. This is true when a statement is overused to the extent that people no longer register its’ actual meaning. Paradoxically, such a statement has reached this unfortunate end because of the powerful meaning and message it initially conveyed.

If ‘believe in yourself’ was your motto, how would you show this in your thoughts and other behaviour?

How you behave in a given situation will give you clues to assess your values and strengths. These can be used as a starting point to examine your passions and how they influence your behaviour. This gives you the options and opportunities to align your values to your behaviour or visa versa.

• I believe passionately in…

• I am willing to receive…

• When I am less playful, I need to re-connect. The signs that I need to re-connect to my positive energy is…

57

Phase II

Create Passion-Driven Goals

Success if often, due neither to ability nor to courage, but simply due to organising your creative energies around a goal.

Purpose


enable you to set goals to match what you want to see more of in your life enable you to set sensory evidence that would indicate successful goal achievement ensures your goals are more achievable through sourcing and mobilizing your resources helps you set realistic goals by activating and stimulating the use of a more creative perspective enables you to create a useful yet flexible time-frame in which to achieve your goals help you set goals so that your outcomes will be congruent with who you are and what you really want; and to give more sustainable and fulfilling outcomes empowers you to take charge of your resourceful state increase your motivation and commitment through creating options and opportunities for immediate, manageable and sustainable action

58

Phase II


Do the thing and you will have the power Unknown

The module provides you with experiential exercises to enable you to create passion-driven goals. The experiential exercises follow the five natural levels of learning and creativity to maximise your benefits!




The specific OATS™ used are:

The Life-Balance/Peace Wheel™SMART, SMARTER and SMARTEST STAR goal setting and goal management technology Brainstorming to generate multiple options and opportunities NOSE™ analysis and the related SWOT and SWAT analysis to enable you to set realisable goals ROI – Return on Investment and Cost/Benefit analysis

59


The Benefits of Goal Setting

As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use.

William James

The main use of goal setting is that it is a useful tool to manage our needs. Goal setting is useful because:

• It helps us manage change • It provides a context for our planning and resources • It gives direction and meaning to our efforts • It provides focus and purpose • It helps manage our expectations • It facilitates action planning • It gives perspective by providing a timeline • It indicates our position in relation to where we want to

be • It increases commitment to ourselves • It increases motivation • It helps identify opportunities • It opens up options and gives alternatives • It teaches flexibility • It provides choice • It allows for self-determination • It promotes responsibility • It increases confidence • It is empowering, giving a sense of personal power • It allows one to be proactive • It gives hope • It prepares us mentally and emotionally for change • It facilitates optimal use of resources • It helps identify limitations and challenges • It clarifies and sets expectations • It helps use resources including time, finances and

energy more productively

60

Level 1 - Initiation Options Exercise

Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that carry them far apart.

Confucius

In our pursuit of need and value fulfilment, we develop patterns of behaviour called habits. Habits are really an organised system of goal management – a system we have developed to meet our goals. Goal setting is about habits. ‘Habit’ refers to repeated acts or behaviour patterns. Actions and reactions exist in one moment of time but can repeat and perpetuate existing circumstance. A question I will help you explore on a more consistent basis is ‘do my goal setting habits support my passions and skills?’

Your goals may have been formed haphazardly or they may be outdated. Maybe they were formed to please others or for some reason that is no longer valid.

Whether your goals need to be revised, adjusted or renewed; it makes sense that you take time to deliberately develop a more reliable system. It is logical to seek a system that positions you advantageously. You want to manage your goals effectively so that your goals can manage your life effectively.

Whether you choose to work with a coach or to self-coach, successful goal management involves three crucial steps:

• Find your Passion • Create Passion-Driven Goals • Cultivate your Resourceful State

These steps are interdependent because success is only fulfilling and sustainable, when it combines all three elements. Thus when using any goal management system, you want to make sure it respects your passions, values, beliefs and strengths. Lasting and life-enhancing success depends on authenticity and personal power.

61

When you set your own goals and decide how you will know when you have achieved them, you will have the personal power that you deserve. Moreover, you will feel more energised and motivated to achieve your goals. This success will more likely be aligned to who you are and is more likely to be long-lasting and sustainable.

Do you have the skills and a strategy to set goals that are creative and at the same time aligned to who you are and where

you really want to be?

This book will guide you so you can determine your own goals and agenda. You will be empowered to choose goals that are aligned to your core principles and purpose. You will determine what positive results you want to see and you will determine when you want to see those results.

Problem-management and opportunity-development goals will be compared as well as the types of goals that might be addressed in each of these categories.

You will be able to assess the value of using an existing pre-designed model of goal setting and management. You might choose to adapt an existing model to design a system that is congruent to your values and preferences and based upon your past successes and special skills sets.

You will be able to compare existing systems that have been proven to be successful for millions of people and organisations in varied contexts. You can assess the corporate SMART model, the NLP adapted SMARTER model and whether there can be the SMARTEST way still.

Whether you decide to self-coach or engage a coach, one of the significant tools and techniques used is ‘prompting’. Prompting is when the coach prompts the coachee through the use of open-ended questions to facilitate and guide the process of clear, creative and congruent goal and strategy determination. Possible questioning that focuses on defining solution-oriented outcomes will be integrated throughout my book. A related technique, behavioural interviewing helps you focus on specific situations, tangible tasks, actions and responses.

62

In addition, I will look at the SWOT, SWAT and NOSE analysis as tools to fine-tune your goal setting strategy.

I have purposely emphasised creativity and innovation. This is because you are creating the life, behaviour and outcomes that you want. To ‘create’ is a natural instinct and talent. Whatever we say or do or think, involves an act of creation. Some thought or action exists now that did not exist in the moment before. Consistent and repetitive ‘creative acts’, create a consistent and sustainable reality.

63

Level 1 - Initiation Achievements Exercise

Solution vs. Opportunity-Development Goals

Problem-management/ Project-management goals

Goals might be selected in relation to problems or difficulties experienced. The person feels they are not coping or managing the problem situation, frustration or concern. Therefore one’s goal is to manage the specific situation, to come to terms with it or to transcend it. Problem-management I believe should be extended to include project-management. In France, coaches talk about helping people manage their “projects”, pronounced in French [pro-jay]. Projects can be anything from trying to lose weight to organising a wedding.

In coaching, the individual is responsible for goal setting and implementation. Any other people involved directly are usually formal and informal resources, e.g. financial advisors, accountants, dieticians, personal trainers, networked contacts, mentors, etc.

Projects in this category might be:

• A person wanting to reach a certain target weight by a set target date.

• A coachee sets a deadline to attain a certain target income.

Imagine a genie emerging in a cloud of scented translucent vapour from a golden magic lamp. You are promised unlimited power and potential. All you have to do is visualise yourself succeeding, once a day, for ten minutes only, for a period of seven consecutive days.

Your wish is my command. What is your wish?

64

Level 1 - Initiation Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Opportunity-development goals

If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and

imitate them and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.

Confucius

These goals focus on personal development, well-being, self-mastery, quality of life and life-enrichment. The person wants to make more of life and wants to feel happy, challenged and fulfilled. These goals are related to missed opportunities or unused potential and resources. One may be feeling blocked or stuck in general or in specific areas.

Examples of opportunity-development goals are:

• The person would like to feel healthier and fitter and more flexible.

• The person wants an interesting and stimulating career which uses and develops his/her skills and potential.

To help you identify unused opportunities and potential, please explore:

• What could I become good at if I focussed on developing and using this one ability?

• Which opportunities can I focus on?

• What opportunities could I be paying more attention to?

• Which role models do I admire because I would like to develop my similar talents further?

65

Holistic Goal Setting

Success is creativity transforming circumstance

It is recommended that goals have a combined focus in problem-management as well as opportunity-development. The person-centred approach believes in the person’s inherent drive towards self-actualization. Therefore, even in a problem situation or a situation that requires coping, a person would often seek to become more and to become better. These goals focus on improvement, adding value and developing unused potential as well as creating new opportunities and addressing missed opportunities. A contemporary movement that focuses on this area is called Positive Psychology.

This is in keeping with the view that coaching is strengths based and aims at empowering the person to go beyond coping; towards personal development, fulfilment and happiness.

Balancing your goals will certainly balance your life. When you strive to achieve goals in different categories, certain value clashes might become evident. This is a great opportunity to re-assess your values so that you no longer sabotage yourself…. Or at least you will become aware of when you are doing it! This also gives you the opportunity to increase the connection between your conscious and subconscious abilities so that they collaborate with you to create congruent outcomes.

66

Level 1 - Initiation Tools and Techniques

The Right Tool for the Job

A tool and a technique is only useful if it helps you to get the job done!

Potentially useful tools and techniques that may help you define areas for change and improvement are:

• Behavioural interviews that seeks to explore specific situations, tasks, actions and responses.

• Checklists such as those found in popular magazines • Evaluation forms • Satisfaction forms where you might be asked to rate

your satisfaction on different areas of your life, for example, how satisfied are you, on a scale of one to five, about your relationship with your boss?

• Questionnaires

These tools are adapted to focus on your personal or professional life in general and even specific target areas within these categories. The quality of these tools depends on their depth and constructive focus.

Some useful questions you can begin to explore are:

• What would I like to focus on with a coach? • What are my current goals? • How would I know when I have succeeded in reaching

these goals? • What other changes would I like to see take place in my

life? • My current priority is…

67

Level 1 - Initiation State and Skills

Goal Definition

Think of a goal that is important to you. This goal can relate to your personal or professional life. Please answer the questions below:

• What is the goal I want?

• What am I prepared to do to achieve this goal?

• What outcomes will achieving this goal give me?

• What benefits do I expect?

• Does my goal have an end date?

• What resources may help me to attain this goal?

• What can I do right now (immediately) to introduce these benefits into my life?

• Are there other ways to achieve similar benefits?

68

Level 2 - Immersion Opportunity Exercise

Goal Categories

There are as many different goals as there are people!

For the purpose of simplicity, I will identify certain categories of goals. The interpretation of any category depends on the person making the interpretation. Categories are not etched in stone and one category can overlap with or include another category. Any of these categories can be of the problem/solution-management type and/or of the opportunity/development type. It is preferable that any goal has both of these elements.

Goals under these categories could be as follows:

• Relationship/ Social • Finance/ Wealth/ Abundance • Education/ Skill development/ Personal Development • Health/ Well-being/ Fitness/ Body Image • Coping with Transition/Change • Stress Management • Time Management • Leisure/ Relaxation • Philanthropic/ Voluntary Work • Work/Career/ Professional • Spiritual/ Personal Development/ Personal Philosophy

Under which of these categories would the goal you just defined fall?

69

Level 2 - Immersion Options Exercise

Start with one small step applied consistently and this will lead to

Giant leaps!

Goal Category Exploration This exploration uses tools such as interview questions and prompts to explore diverse areas of one’s life. While the exploration is extensive, it is by no means exhaustive. You may start off by selecting just three areas to explore. These threeareas represent topics that you are drawn to. The assumption is that low levels of satisfaction and/or imbalances will give you clues as to which goals are your priority.

Family & Friends • On a scale of 1-5, how satisfied are you with your social

life? • Are you satisfied with the quantity and quality of time

you spend with your family? • If you won the lottery, who would you share your

winnings with? • If you were to set a goal regarding relationships and

communication, who would be part of this goal? • Is there any relationship that could benefit from more

attention?

Partner & Spouse • How did you meet your partner? • What can you tell me about your partner? • Do you and your partner have any goals in common? • If you could improve one thing in your relationship, what

would that be? • What is your idea of an ideal vacation with your partner?

Playtime & Leisure & Relaxation • How do you enjoy spending your free time? • What do you do with others for fun & leisure? • What are your hobbies?

70

Work & Career & Professional • What is it like for you at work? • What are your responsibilities? • What kind of relationships do you have

o with your colleagues o with your supervisor o with your subordinates

• Are there any specific factors you experience as stressful?

• If money was not a concern, what job(s) would you want to be doing now?

Money & Finance & Wealth & Abundance • Do you feel stressed about money matters? • What is important to you regarding money and finance? • What kind of relationships do you have with money? • Do you feel you have sufficient finances to lead the

lifestyle you want to lead? • What were the values and beliefs your parents held

about money and finance? • What are your thoughts about a wealthy life?

Physical Environment • Does your physical environment contribute towards your

feeling of well-being? • Does your physical environment reflect the way you want

to live? • Does your physical environment support your goals?

Spiritual & Esoteric & Personal Philosophy • What is important to you as far as spiritual growth is

concerned? • What are your ideas about spirituality?

Education & Skill Development • Could I benefit from further learning and education? • Could I benefit from time management skills? • Do I need to learn better ways of managing stress?

71

Health & Fitness & Well-being & Body Image • What is important to you when you consider your health? • Do you or members of your family have specific health

concerns? • Would you consider yourself to be a fit person? • What are you most happy with about your body? • Are you happy with your age? • Do you consider yourself as having a good memory? • To what extent are you satisfied with your:

o Sleeping habits? o Eating habits? o Exercise habits?

• Do you consider yourself as someone who gets stressed easily?

• Do you use any techniques to cope with stressful situations and feelings?

Personal & Professional Development • Are you satisfied with the education you received? • What is important to you in your personal development? • What vices do you dislike in yourself or others? • Are there any particular values and beliefs that play a

strong role in how you live your life? • What virtues do you admire in yourself or others? • Who are/were your role models? • Are there any strengths that you make regular use of?

Coping with Transition & Change • How do I cope with transition and change? • Do I welcome or resist change? • Do I like change for the sake of change? • Am I open to learning? • Am I open to new experiences? • How attached am I to my comfort zone? • To what extent am I attached to my habits? • To what extent do I need to be in control?

72

Level 2 - Immersion Achievements Exercise

The Coaching Wheel – Life-Balance Wheel

There are many techniques to translate your responses into a format that is more useful to you. Many have found graphical representations to be particularly user-friendly. They provide a clear, concise and easy to read indicator to guide goal definition and to focus one’s efforts.

A commonly used representation is the Wheel of Life or Life-Balance Wheel. In its most basic form, this is a circle divided into eight segments where each segment represents a different aspect of your life. Each segment is labelled according to the topic you wish to set goals in.

This is also known as the Life Satisfaction Wheel since it can be used to reflect your satisfaction with selected categories of your life. For each segment, e.g. social/relationships, one indicates a level of satisfaction rated from one to ten. Least satisfied is represented by the centre as zero, five would be halfway up the

73

line and represents average satisfaction, while ten is greatest satisfaction and coincides with the outer ring of the circle. A line is then drawn across the segment to indicate level of satisfaction.

It might be that there are multiple additional “dimensions” all relating to one single topic or theme. For example, under social/relationships you may want to elaborate on friendships, family, work relationships and one’s relationship with a partner or even a single status that one wishes to change. In this case additional relationship segments would be marked and other less relevant topics would be replaced.

Once the Wheel of Life or Life Balance wheel has been marked, one is sufficiently prepared to choose the segments to work on. This translates into a Coaching Wheel which serves as the next level in goal setting.

In a coaching relationship, the coach enables you to prioritise goals and to choose a goal to work on. A coach will help you to determine whether it’s social relationships, family relationships, friendships, relationship with self, work relationships or relationships with figures of authority that you wish to focus on. It might turn out that there is an underlying theme to all of your relationships. For example, the coachee believes he/she has to please everyone but can please nobody. The coach will then help the coachee state this as a positive outcome goal – ‘I want to build rapport with x, y, and z. I want to be confident in expressing my ideas and in saying no when I need to.’

The advantage of the wheel is that you can make comparisons to assess how balanced your life and goals really are. There are some useful questions you could answer:

• Which segments am I most satisfied with? • Which would I most like to improve right now? • What is the relationship between segment X and

segment Y? • Does my concentration on segment X result in difficulties

in any other segments? • What goals can I set to make my life more balanced? • Are there certain segments that when put together show

a certain pattern?

As with any system, this one too can be adapted to serve its function in different contexts.

74

Level 2 - Immersion Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

The Peace Wheel

The Peace Wheel is an adaptation of the Life-Balance Wheel. The significant difference is that the Peace Wheel has three primary areas of focus. Each primary area has two corresponding areas. This represents a goal and two related sub goals. For example, a health goal might be generally stated as ‘I want to weigh 135 pounds by (state date)’. The related sub goals could be a fitness goal and a dietary goal which focuses on dietary changes that include for example, reducing coffee intake, substituting red meat with white meat once a week, and so on. The Peace Wheel, when used in this way relates more closely to goal exploration than to representing satisfaction in different areas of your life. Like with all other tools and techniques, the benefits might be greater if you tailor the technique to your own needs. There are many interesting and exciting alternatives!

75

Level 2 - Immersion Tools and Techniques

Models of Goal Setting

I will set forth a well-known model of goal setting and build upon it in examples that represent the process of tailoring and the logic behind it. You will also be able to predict the additional benefits that become available through the tailoring process.

In my representation of the SMART model, I offer alternatives that might not have been put forth by the initial model. However, this model has been interpreted and reinterpreted to make it more contemporary and to increase its usefulness – frankly that is all that matters.

Therefore, I will offer some variations which I may have used or researched. From my research and experience, I have found it useful to include the following five components in my assessment:

A Mission or Purpose Statement • Why do I want to achieve this outcome?

The Scope Statement • What do I aim to accomplish through this goal?

The Goal Tangibles • What results and outcomes will I be able to experience

when I achieve this goal?

Measurable Milestones or Success Indicators • What will I see (hear, feel, touch, etc.) that will indicate

that I have achieved a step forward in the direction of attaining my goal?

The Resource Estimates • What resources do I need to achieve this goal? • What resources do I have? • How much time do I have at my disposal? • What more do I need to have to achieve this goal?

76

Level 2 - Immersion State and Skills

Sub-Goals

• Select one of the life categories from the preceding exercises. Write down a goal. For example, Health - I want to lose 6 pounds in 21 days. This can be restated to give the goal weight and goal day.

• Can your goal be restated in terms of incremental steps? For example, I want to lose an average of 2 pounds per week. This means that I want to lose 2 pounds in each seven day period for a total of 21 days (three weeks).

• Three things I am willing to do to achieve this goal are… For example, keep motivated, exercise and diet. You may represent these three points in many ways. I find the mind map or the peace wheel works well. To create a mind map, list these three sub goals one under the other.

o Keep motivated o Exercise o Diet

To create a Peace Wheel, write a sub goal in each of the three inner segments of the drawing.

• For each sub goal, decide on two tasks that will help achieve this goal. For example.

o Keep motivated - visualisation and keeping a journal.

o Exercise – move more and walk 10 minutes extra per day.

o Diet – drink water and replace the 4 cookies at breakfast with a bowl of cereal.

These tasks can be represented by branches in your mind map or by filling in the corresponding segments in your Peace Wheel.

77

Level 3 - Incubation Opportunity Exercise

SMART

SMART is an acronym developed by the corporate world to guide goal management. Each letter recommends a specific criteria that your goal definition meets. These are as follows:

S Specific M Measurable A Achievable R Realistic T Timed

Specific

The person thinks about his/her goal in clear, precise and concrete terms. The outcome statement that is made is complete and has sufficient detail that it needs no explanation or further clarification. This means that anyone else reading it, can form a clear picture of what you want to achieve.

There are prompts to follow and questions to answer which can facilitate this process. Answering any of the following pairs will help create clear and specific goals.

• What do I need? • What do I want?

• What specific results do I want to see? • How does this translate into a tangible outcome?

• What do I want to do better? • What do I want to see more of happening in my life?

Finally, is my goal stated in the positive. In other words, is my goal stated in terms of what I want rather than what I do not want.

78


Measurable

In general terms, goals and outcomes must be clear, complete and well-formed. Success is measured against particular performance standards. These are also referred to as yardsticks or benchmarks to success. The individual determines what tangible results he/she wants to consider as being acceptable indicators of success. He/she must be able to receive sensory feedback or evidence whether objectively quantifiable or not that indicates where he/she stands in relation to the goal set.

Milestones are usually set at regular intervals. In other words these are logical, measurable points in the person’s progression towards a goal, for example, when losing weight, the milestone at the end of each week is if the coachee is 2 pounds lighter.

Questions that may help are:

• How would I know I have succeeded in reaching this goal?

• How would I know if I am there yet? • What would that look like? • How will I know that these changes have taken place? • Will others be able to see these changes? In what ways? • How will I recognize my achievements? • What according to me would be indicators of exceptional

achievement, acceptable achievement and unacceptable achievement?

When working with a coach, the coach encourages you to continually review your progress towards your goal. You will be helped to reassess at set points, whether there are significant changes in circumstances that would warrant changing the original parameters for success and perhaps even the goal itself. The coach gives you the opportunity to modify your strategy depending on whether you feel the goal or outcome-definition has become inappropriate or unrealistic.

The coach will usually remind you to consider resources such as a health professional or a financial advisor!

79


Achievable

If you can dream it, you can become it.

To assess if your goal is achievable looks at whether you have the inner and outer resources to achieve it. Most people would say that if you have a dream and you are really passionate about achieving it, then success can be achieved.

It is also said that if someone has already achieved this goal, then it is achievable.

Some models may replace the word achievable with a synonym such as ‘attainable’.

The SWOT Analysis is a tool to evaluate how achievable or realistic your goal is. This is also known as the SWAT Analysis when one examines achievements instead of opportunities.

When working with a coach, the coach will help you to use tools such as the SWOT analysis to assess your current resources to achieve the result desired. The coach will also help you to identify additional resources that may be needed. You will be able to conduct a gap analysis. This means you will compare your current position to your outcome position. In simple terms, you will work out what the gap is between the two and to how to close this gap.

80


SWOT Analysis

Strengths What resources do I need to achieve this goal? Do I have what it takes to achieve this goal? If not, what can I do about it?

Weaknesses What is standing in the way of my achieving this goal?

Opportunities What opportunities would help me achieve this goal? What opportunities can I create consistently to help me achieve these results?

Threats What external limitations are currently preventing me from achieving this goal? Do you see any other additional challenges in the near future that might get in the way of you achieving these results?

• How can your beliefs influence your perception and judgement in deciding whether a goal is measurable, achievable and realistic?

• How can your beliefs influence your perception and judgement in carrying out the gap analysis?

• How can your beliefs influence your perception and judgement in assessing strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats?

81


Realistic

There is overlap between an achievable and a realistic goal. A goal is realistic as measured by a combination of your current position, timing/scheduling and other crucial factors such as resources available and limitations.

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop Confucius

To decide if your goal is realistic, you can answer the following:

• Do I have the inner and outer resources necessary? • Am I willing to give what it takes on a consistent basis? • Is the level of effort required sustainable over the period

required?

Some propose that the R should stand for results-focused.When focusing on results, you might consider:

• What am I hoping to gain? • What would I like to accomplish here? • What is the reason I want to do this? • What am I seeking to accomplish?

82


Work expands to fit the time available. Unknown

Timed

Timing refers to your goal being set within a schedule of an immediate, a short term and a long term goal. In other words, the goal is tied to a specific timeline. This is also referred to as ‘time frame’ and ‘target date’. Short terms goals are directly related to the long term goal and are to be achieved within ‘shorter’ periods of time. Short term goals are progressive outcomes leading to the end result (long term goal).

When determining the target date for your goal, you decide on the following:

• When would I like to see that happen? • What steps do I think I can take to reach that outcome? • Can I break this goal into incremental steps, with each

step having a deadline?

It is recommended that you also ask the questions: • How can I bring that into my life right now?” • What results can I bring into my life now? In a week

from now? In a month’s time? In a year from now? • How will these results be evident in my life 5 years from

now?

To work out the overall time estimate to achieve your goal, it is essential to break down your project into bite-sized pieces or chunks. This process is called ‘chunking’.

Instructions to draw a goal map:• Represent your goal by one single word, write it down. • Below this, one next to the other, write down a single

word to represent each of the steps (sub-goals). • For each sub-goal, you can draw a fan-like structure,

itemising the tasks involved. The results of this exercise will give a map of your goal. This graphic representation of your goal can effectively guide your actions like a map would.

83

Summary

The benefits of goal setting and management are that you are able to move more deliberately and purposefully towards achieving your set outcome. Here is a summary then of the five criteria as proposed by the SMART model:

• Goals must be specific • Goals must be measurable • Responsibility for achieving the goals must be accepted • Goals must be realistic • Goals must have a time component

The SMART model is equally useful when you have multiple goals. After a smart analysis, you are in a stronger position to prioritise your goals. This will help you choose which goals to start working on first. Answering the following questions will help you prioritise:

• Which goal is most urgent? • Which goal will give immediate benefits? • Which goal will have the most impact on my life/ work?

In conclusion then, an acronym is a simple memory technique that is applied so you can remember the necessary steps to follow to complete your task.

An acronym can give you additional focus when the word formed represents a particular meaning. For example, the word ‘smart’ represents being clever. This can be developed further to create motivating mission statements and quotations. For example ‘I did it the smart way’.

84

Level 4 - Innovation Opportunity Exercise

Working out Benefits

When choosing which goal to work on, you can conduct a Cost/ Benefit analysis. This can be as simple as dividing a page into two halves and writing the costs on the left hand side and the benefits on the right hand side. If your benefits are higher than your perceived costs, it is a good indication to start working towards your goal.

The corporate world also refers to this as ROI – Return on Investments. In layman’s terms this is called weighing the pros and cons. It is also known as weighing the advantages over the disadvantages.

In the same vein, you can decide what you stand to gain from using a model such as the SMART model. How can a goal setting model help you achieve your goals?

Costs Benefits

85

Level 4 - Innovation Options Exercise

SMARTER

Be careful what you ask for, you might get it. Unknown

The SMARTER model is an expansion of the SMART model and has been proposed by NLP practitioners.

NLP is an abbreviation for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. The three aspects of behaviour can be defined as follows:

• Neuro refers to the neurological processes that are carried out in our central nervous system. Of particular relevance is how the brain functions so we can process information.

• Linguistic refers to communication – the processes of how we communicate with ourselves and others through verbal and non-verbal language activity.

• Programming is a term adopted from Information Technology and refers to the sequences of activity that make up our habits or systems we use to carry out any type of activity.

NLP has to do with studying successful behaviours and then imitating these as a pattern or sequence to speed up learning. NLP is a synthesis of existing theories on how people learn and succeed. It was developed so others could model all three aspects of behaviour to produce similar successful outcomes.

NLP practitioners aim to identify common patterns that are evident in particular activities. This approach seeks to define underlying threads of excellence that can then be used as a checklist when one deliberately models that excellence. This is perceived to be more effective than a trial and error approach.

86

Level 4 - Innovation Achievements

NLP in Goal Setting

Based on observation of effective goal management practices such as SMART, the following are the principles that have been identified to be characteristic of successful goal attainment:

• Well-formed outcomes • Sensory Awareness • Behavioural flexibility • Immediate Action • Ecological • Response and /or Resources

Well-formed outcomes

This is also called outcome thinking as you are thinking in terms of specific outcomes you want to achieve. If you can define what it is that you want, you can then deliberately move towards achieving it. This of course refers to focusing on what you want, which is a positive focus, instead of focusing on what you don’t want.

Sensory Awareness

This refers to being deliberately alert and filtering information using as many of your senses as possible with a particular positive purpose in mind. For example, when defining what you want (desirable outcomes), using all of your senses fully and extensively can guide you to define what you will see, hear, feel, smell, etc. that will signal to you that you are achieving the results you want. Using all your senses in outcome formation means that you will be more focussed on the necessary feedback that will help you to evaluate outcomes and to guide your behaviour.

87

Behavioural Flexibility

Behavioural flexibility refers to learning to be flexible. The reasoning behind this is that if you are clear about what you want, you become more flexible in adapting your behaviour and adjusting to unexpected developments. This gives you increased control and personal power as your central focus of resources is deliberately towards the desired outcome. Flexibility in mental, physical and emotional behaviour is thus a personal resource to be consciously developed to ensure success in any situation. This approach is also followed by CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy), amongst others. Related to this is that the coachee is encouraged to change behaviour that is not giving the expected results.

Immediate Action

Once goals are set, the coachee has the greatest chances of success if he/she takes immediate action.

Ecological

In NLP emphasis is on the ecology of the goals set. Because beliefs and values are so central to NLP coaching, this looks at motivation behind the goals set and takes into consideration secondary benefits or pay-offs which might be counterproductive.

This approach addresses the person’s perception of the problem. The coach uses various tools and techniques to empower the coachee, for example, positive reframing or relabelling elements in a positive way so the coachee feels less intimidated or overwhelmed by the task.

The NLP philosophy encourages one to become more sensitized to the cause-effect relationship between action taken and outcomes experienced. One is encouraged to differentiate between desirable and undesirable outcomes and to assess as to when perceptions might need to be adjusted or realigned.

88

Response and/or Resources

Response refers to tangible and intangible sensory feedback responses or evidence that the coachee expects to experience as a result of goal attainment. These success/achievement indicators are defined by the coachee when the coach prompts with questions such as:

• How would you know you have achieved this goal? • What would you feel? Hear? Taste?

Encouraging “sensitivity” through prompting for sensory evidence helps the coachee take the responsibility for continuous assessment.

The SMARTER way of goal setting especially emphasises the use of the powers of perception and imagination to achieve successful outcomes.

89

Level 4 - Innovation Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Responsible Goals?

1. Which of the following goal setting criteria appeal to you? 2. Which of these criteria do you have difficulty with? 3. Which of these criteria match your personal philosophy

most closely?

• Well-formed outcomes

• Sensory Awareness

• Behavioural Flexibility

• Immediate Action

• Ecological

• Response and/or Resources

90

Level 4 - Innovation Tools and Techniques

The ER-Factor

The acronym SMARTER can be represented as follows:

S Specific M Measurable A Achievable R Realistic T Timed E Ecological R Resources/ Response

Do you think there are benefits in the additional ER-elements?

91

Level 4 - Innovation State and Skills

SMARTEST STAR

This section aims to provide you with the tools and skill to adapt an existing goal management framework to generate a framework that you find to be personally authentic.

I have generated the SMARTEST STAR Model for goal management in coaching in an effort to integrate what I consider to be essential elements in goal management.

The five presuppositions on which my model is based are as follows:

• Goal setting must be based on the core principle that a person has unlimited power and potential.

• It is essential to deliberately apply a system to guide the setting and successful management of goals.

• Success is directly proportional to using the Seven Powers which are:

o The Power of Passion o The Power of Collaboration o The Power of Experience o The Power of Creative Thinking o The Power of Perception o The Power of Imagination o The Power of Connection

• Goals should be self-determined

• To be personally authentic, the person must consider the consequences (ecology) of his/her actions.

92

Level 5 - Integration Opportunity Exercise

Acronyms and Synonyms

S Specific M Measurable A Achievable R Realistic T Time-line E Ecological S State T Take Action

Specific

Answering a series of questions leads to well defined goals and outcomes. I find it useful to apply the ‘six honest serving men’.

I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); their names are What and Why and When and How and Where

and Who. Rudyard Kipling

For example:• What do I want to accomplish? • Why do I want this? • When do I want to attain this? • How will I know I have achieved this outcome? • Where will I start? • Who might be affected by my pursuing this goal?

Specific offers synonyms such as Exact, Precise, Detailed, Explicit, Definite, Unambiguous, Particular and Literal

93

Level 5 - Integration Options Exercise

Measurable

I emphasise setting goals in incremental steps which I call setting ‘Measurable Milestones’. Measurable could be substituted with alternatives such as meaningful, manageable, or magical depending on your focus. Synonyms for measurable include Quantifiable, Assessable, Calculable and Controllable.

When using the SMARTEST STAR, you may decide to change the order that the steps are represented in. You might decide to substitute synonyms that start with the same letter, or you might choose to represent an existing letter of the alphabet with a completely different step. Remember, the model is only useful in that it serves a meaningful function for you.

The two most important resources you will need are the abilities to imagine successful outcomes and your ability to keep a journal.

It is widely accepted that it takes 21 days to learn a new habit. When working on a goal, I recommend chunking it into sub goals of periods of 21 days. This can be further broken down into periods of one week.

Can you focus on your goal one week at a time?

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7



94

Level 5 - Integration Achievements Exercise

Achievable

Visualise one of your achievements…

• Have I achieved this, in some form or other, before? • What would I need to be able to achieve this outcome?

Possible alternatives to achievable are Attainable, Acceptable, Action-oriented, Alternatives, Possible, Reasonable, Manageable, Abilities and Capacities.

Your ability to visualise yourself achieving your goal will determine your actual success! In the same way imagining yourself ‘realising’ your goal, will help make it realisable!

Any goal management system should incorporate time on a regular and consistent basis, to visualise and experience goal achievement in your imagination.

95

Level 5 - Integration Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Realistic

Realistic goals are obtained through exploring questions such as ‘Am I able to make these outcomes real? Alternatives to realistic can be Pragmatic, Relevant, Results-oriented, Rational and Reasonable.

Resourceful

You can assess how realistic your goal is in terms of your inner and outer resources. This includes the seven powers, your health, and your network of family and friends. While goal setting is self-determined, you usually need to make use of formal and informal, external resources such as the services of a coach and mentoring by a friend.

I have added a fun element to my model to help me assess how realistic and resourceful my goal is. I ask myself the question ‘Is my goal as real as the NOSE on my face?’

The acronym NOSE™ represents:

N Network O Options and Opportunities S Strengths and Skills E Education and Experience

I find this useful as it reinforces the criteria which I wish to emphasise.

For your practice, please think of a goal that you are currently striving towards. What are the criteria that you considered in deciding that you can realise this goal?

Using this acronym is empowering and helps me focus on the positive strengths I possess and that get stronger and stronger every time I use them.

96

Level 5 - Integration Tools and Techniques

Time-Line and Timed

The central point of any goal is the situation of your goal on a timeline. The T-factor refers to a goal being Time-based, having a Time-frame, Time-line, Target date and being Time-bound. T can also represent that the goal be Tangible, Trackable and Traceable.

While your weekly and 21 day planner helps you track your goal, this can be supplemented by keeping a daily journal. In your journal, you can assign a page a day to your goal. The benefits of doing this include a deliberate focus on personal development.

Below is an example of a page from such a journal.

Day 1 Date: …………………..

QuotationThere are 2 great things in life. These are knowing what I stand for and doing something daily to carry that forward.

Achievements Checklist1. focus (time-line work)

• I visualised past success and achieving my goal in the future

• I kept my journal

2. diet • I drank water • I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast instead of 4 cookies!

3. exercise • I walked • Twice, I chose to do something interesting instead of

sitting on the couch watching television

What I did well is…

97

Level 5 - Integration Skills and State

Ecological

The ecology of the goal refers to two points. Firstly, the person determines his/her goals. Secondly, the person always considers the consequences of his/her actions on him/her (self) and environment (others).

State and Strengths-based

I recommend that your goal be skills-based. This means your goal uses and builds on your inner resources and earlier success and achievements. Goals should also always be challenging (the “stretch” factor). This criteria also focuses on cultivating a resourceful state which is really about adopting a positive attitude and approach to your goals.

Take Action

The goal is stated in such a way that you are able to take immediate, concrete and tangible action. Emphasising little actions which when applied consistently, build up to bigger actions is certainly a formula for self-mastery!

98

SMARTEST STAR™ Model for Goal-Management

I believe that the SMARTEST STAR is currently the most comprehensive system for successful and fulfilling goal management.

You are now able to apply the SMARTEST STAR model to any goal you want to achieve. Why not test your knowledge by defining a health goal using this model?

99

Glossary

There are certain concepts that are inevitably tied into the process of goal setting. These are agenda, results, outcomes, and purpose.

Goals refer to ones goal definition. A goal is a clear and specific statement/definition of what one wants. It is empowering to set goals in terms of what you want rather than what you do not want. The focus is positive and acknowledges your strengths and potential. Your energies are focused on moving towards what you desire rather than moving away from something you do not want. The goal is your objective or the target you want to achieve.

Agenda is generally associated with meetings where it sets the overall focus of communication. Plans of action decided on in the meeting are directly related to the set agenda. For example, in coaching, the working alliance is to direct resources towards a specific project. The coachee sets the agenda for all future work together. The agenda provides all communications with a structure and a context. The agenda is marked or itemised by specific goals that are set. The coachee would often have multiple goals some of which he/she has not had the opportunity to think out or articulate before.

Results refer to the intended end product one desires. Results are generally used interchangeably with the term ‘outcomes’. Success is measured as the extent to which the results achieved correspond to the initial goals set. Results are stated in terms of solution-focussed outcomes whether the results are in problem management, opportunity creation or personal development. The coachee defines the criteria or indicators of success. In other words, the coachee defines what the measures of success are.

Purpose refers to one’s overall intentions and direction. For example, when I set goals, I make sure they promote my overall purpose, which is to empower myself and others

Outcome or an optimal outcome is when one achieves the goals one has set out to attain. These include all the consequences of goal attainment whether these are positive or not. All benefits or pay-offs, whether planned for or not, constructive or not are considered to be the outcomes/ consequences of goal attainment.

100

Project refers to any sequence of tasks with a beginning and an end. The project is defined in terms of a specific or general time-frame. Any project involves the use of certain resources and aims to produce a particular outcome which may be in the form of a product or service. In my view this outcome is always unique as it involves the coachee’s own individual set of circumstances, values, beliefs, perceptions, challenges and limitations.

Resources refer to things and people you engage in order to achieve your goals. This includes the time, talents, tools, techniques, skills, people, money, books, objects, equipment, and services that are used to realise a project. I personally believe that creativity and ‘state’ are your greatest resources.

101

Phase III

Cultivate your Resourceful State

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

William James

Purpose


• Bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be - congruency

• Help you focus on aligning your success to your passions and strengths

• Give you insight into how you form and therefore can change your perceptions

• Make deliberate choices regarding your state, habits and attitude

• Energise and renew yourself using your Resourceful State

• Calibrate your state through developing visualisation skills

• Provide you with options, opportunities, tools and techniques to cultivate and mobilise a resourceful state

102

Phase III


The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves but in our attitude towards them

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This module gives you opportunities to source, cultivate and mobilise your resourceful state for successful and fulfilling outcomes. The experiential exercises follow the five levels of learning and creativity to maximise your benefits!




The Specific OATS™ used are:

• Sourcing your State • Behavioural Interviews • The STAR model to elicit sensory evidence • Circles of Success™ • Positive Reframing • Stepping into Success™ • Anchors and Triggers

103


Treasure Hunt

Imagine that you are starting a new and exciting adventure. You have found a treasure map and have all the tools and resources you need to dig for an immense fortune. You will succeed.

• Can you imagine yourself preparing for this journey?

• What preparations would you make?

• What expectations do you have?

• What do you focus on when you think of your quest?

• Can you picture yourself with the treasure in your hands?

104

Level 1 – Initiation Options Exercise

Island of Wonders

You have reached your destination on the Island of Wonders. You have 21 days to reach your treasure. You have a map of the area. At the end of each week, you will reach a signpost that indicates the correct path to take for the next seven days. You are fully prepared for anything that comes your way.

• What are you thinking?

• How determined are you to succeed?

• What are you prepared to do to reach your treasure?

• Are you thinking about how you will feel when you get there?

• What are you thoughts about what actually having that treasure can do for you?

105

Level 1 – Initiation Achievements Exercise

Five Senses

This is a simple experiential exercise to help you to become aware of your senses and how you use them in your experiences. This exercise helps you to increase your sensory awareness. A primary assumption is that a person forms a representation of his/her outer reality through using his/her five senses.

If I asked you to salivate, you will not be able to do so. This command connects with the conscious mind which is powerful but does not exert as great a power over the body as the subconscious.

Now, imagine yourself in your kitchen making lemonade. Take time to focus on each sensory element… Imagine 5 lemons… you are halving the lemons before you juice them.

When carrying out this visualisation, take time to consider how you represent your experiences by means of your senses using the diagram as a guide.

What other details did you notice? Which of your senses provide you with the most detail?

106

Level 1 – Initiation Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Five Senses – Expanded

Use the example of the lemons above.

Gustatory Taste Does your mouth water? Are the lemons very sour? Do you notice a tangy taste? Would you add sugar to make lemonade?

Olfactory Smell What does lemon smell like? If you were blindfolded, would you notice the difference between the smells of oranges and lemons?

Visual Sight What colours do you see? Do you notice tonality? Are the colours bright?

Auditory Sound Do you hear background sounds? Can you hear the juice flow and splash into the container? Do you hear sounds of glass, metal, etc?

Kinaesthetic Touch, weight, movement, spatial position & balance Where are the lemons in relation to you? How are they arranged? Are they lying on a table or stacked up like a pyramid? How does the liquid feel on your skin? Are the lemons cold to the touch?

107

Level 1 – Initiation Tools and Techniques

Visualisation Technique

We are what and where we are because we have first imagined it

Donald Curtis

It is said that the brain cannot tell the difference between a real experience and one imagined with sensory detail. For this exercise, you will have an opportunity to use the STAR tool to help you generate a vivid and detailed mental picture of a past achievement. Training your imagination will help you succeed in your goals through optimizing goal setting and management. You will learn to use visualisation to increase motivation, anticipate success and to put yourself in a resourceful state so that you can use your resources optimally for success.

Think of a success and visualise your experience with as much sensory detail as you can.

Situation Imagine a specific situation

Task Visualise the specific tasks you had to accomplish? What tools and techniques did you use?

Actions, Approach What were your specific actions? What did you do? What did you say? How did you feel? What was your reaction?

Response, Resources, Results

What resources did you use? What were the results? What was the outcome? What were the most desirable outcomes?

108

Level 1 – Initiation State and Skills

Sensory Preferences

Take the example of your success experience again. This time, emphasise the elements represented in the table below.

Gustatory Taste What taste sensations do you experience?

Olfactory Smell What smells do you notice? Is someone wearing perfume? Are there flowers in your image?

Visual Sight What colours do you see? Do you notice tonality? Are the colours bright?

Auditory Sound Do you hear background sounds? What are you saying? What other voices and sounds do you hear? Do you hear sounds of glass, metal or paper?

Kinaesthetic Touch, weight, movement, spatial position & balance Where are you situated? How are you positioned? What is the temperature like? Who else is there? What objects do you notice?

Which senses do you prefer using?

With practice, you will be able to calibrate your state without referring to the table.

109

Level 2 – Immersion Opportunity Exercise

Circles of Success™

This section consists of an experiential exercise that will help you to prime, enhance and calibrate your Resourceful State. Resourceful State in essence refers to being in a state of mind that is aligned to your purpose.

Focus on the rings of the circle. Each time you meet a word, focus on those characteristics of your personal success. Enhance the sensory detail to make your success so real that you are reliving your feelings of achievement and fulfilment.

With practice, you will be able to calibrate your state without the diagram if you choose. I like to think of this time as my ‘Prime Time’.

110

Level 2 – Immersion Options Exercise

Attentional Aspect

All of the exercises so far, encourage you to become more aware of sensory input and when to choose to deliberately increase or decrease your receptivity to certain sensory data. Part of this includes learning how your body and your subconscious communicates with you through physical sensations and even through your dreams.

Some feedback is more obvious than others and is not as easily ignored. For example, a feeling of having butterflies in ones’ stomach indicates that you are excited or nervous. The feedback that is less intense is more easily bypassed. For example, mild irritation you experience with a particular person. It might be that you do not notice or pay particular attention to these feelings (too busy, feelings are mild, etc.). You may have a vague feeling about this. These feelings will affect your communication and behaviour around that person. You may find you are more abrupt, more aggressive, silent and avoid that person. It might be that these feelings of irritation grow over time and you suddenly and seemingly out of context ‘lose your temper’ or say or do something seemingly exaggerated and inappropriate.

This exercise aims at helping you become aware of any situation that gives rise to the feelings described above. You can imagine a situation where you experience mild irritation with someone. Become aware of and focus on your thoughts.

• What are you telling yourself about that person? • What are you telling yourself about how you feel around

that person? • Do you feel justified in feeling the way you do? • You can probably think of an advantage or two to

continue keeping that person at a distance? • Do your feelings towards that person result in you feeling

stressed? • How does your body react to these feelings of stress? • Do you feel a change in your resourceful state that might

increase your feelings of dissatisfaction? • What are the negative outcomes if you continue to feel

this way? • What do you want to do about this?

111

Level 2 – Immersion Achievements Exercise

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

The following exercise takes 2 minutes of your time. You may actually do the exercise or imagine yourself doing it. This is not hypnosis and you will be as awake as you are in this moment. You may interrupt the exercise at any moment. The exercise helps you experience sensory awareness while at the same time you will remain objective.

Sit or lie in a comfortable position. Pay attention to how your body feels when you are comfortable. Start from your toes and work your way up… wriggle your toes… and release… flex your calf muscles… and release… uncross your legs… breathe in and feel your breathe go all the way down to your lower body… and exhale… wriggle your fingers… and release… focus on your shoulder muscles… flex… and release… your arms are uncrossed… relax your neck… smile… twitch your facial muscles… shut your eyes… and then open them… listen to the sounds around you… imagine them getting fainter and fainter… blending into the background… then louder and louder… to its usual level… look around you and observe different things… look at these as being separate from you… you are a scientist studying these sounds and your environment… you are objective… you are curious… wonder why… you are wide awake and feeling better than before… you are alert and refreshed… you are relaxed!

This exercise is useful in stress management. It also helps you develop self-awareness so that you are better able to align your state to your situation and tasks. It also helps you to quiet the conscious mind to liberate the life-enhancing powers of your subconscious.

112

Level 2 – Immersion Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Feedback and Sensory Acuity

The current hype is on increasing sensitivity. It is true that many people can be said to be insensitive to the feelings of others. Many people can be said to be totally unaware of their surroundings or of their feelings. Some might be so centred on themselves that they pay attention neither to others nor to their surroundings.

It is widely accepted (though over-generalised) that women are more sensitive than men. Scientists study the biochemistry of the two sexes hoping to find physiological explanations for this. Some even claim to have found significant differences that can be accounted for in this way. It might just be that men and women are sensitive and less sensitive to different things. Of course these differences can lead to miscommunication and relationship difficulties.

It has been found that there are also many people who can be seen as being too alert. They are so sensitive to input that it becomes self-limiting. Perhaps they notice every change in tone during a conversation and draw conclusions based on this. They may have a low threshold for pain, or cold, amongst other things.

It is beyond the scope of this book to address extreme cases of this phenomena. I am hoping to simply point out that for whatever reasons, there is a difference in how people perceive information. These differences have their advantages but they also have their limitations. Paying more attention to how you perceive data, will increase your awareness to the fact that others might perceive data in completely different ways.

When you realise this, you can pay greater attention to the feedback you are receiving. This feedback gives you an indication of the other person’s response. You are then in a better position to choose how you want to adjust your behaviour to get the outcomes you desire. You do this already all the time anyway. Paying more attention to feedback has obvious benefits, for example, it can help you in a situation where you need to communicate with someone of a different cultural background. When in Rome…

113

Level 2 – Immersion Tools and Techniques

Synaesthesia

There is much more to perception than sensory awareness and sensory acuity. Sensory awareness is not a straightforward process of receiving information through your senses. There are many people who possess a special ability called synaesthesia.They receive different sensory information through different senses – some of their senses work simultaneously in unique ways. For example, the person can hear a colour or see a sound. The first documented case of this was in 1690. Plato talked of it and in 1911, the Russian-born artist Kandinsky tried to explain how it works.

Today research has found that at least 1 in 2000 people have this ability. We have reached a point in time where even people who do not have this talent want to be seen to have it. More relevant however, is that synaesthesia is no longer a ‘harmless condition’; neither is it a talent that only a privileged few have at their disposal. Instead, we are exploring how people can be trained to develop this ability so that we all can benefit from it. We have progressed from the traditional explanations of the five senses, intuition and extra-sensory powers (ESP).

Thus, it is widely accepted that common stimuli can evoke a multitude of unique emotions and states and therefore behaviour in different people. Perception is a unique experience that produces unique variations in values, beliefs, habits and state (frames of mind). These in turn will alter a person’s future patterns of perception.

Humans must necessarily filter information in order to process it. Filtering is a habitual process of selecting certain information over others in any given situation.

Do we create our own reality through our perceptions?

114

Level 2 – Immersion State and Skills

Somebody Stop Me! The Mask

Sensory Parameters

While sensory perception in itself is not a straightforward process to explain, there are many simple strategies to use it more effectively!

It is a simple matter of paying attention to different sensory parameters to access a different perspective so as to shift or expand your perceptual experience. Sensory parameters refers to any information that you are able to access through the use of one or more of your senses.

Expanding your sensory parameters, increases your options and the opportunities for success. Increased options and opportunities increases your potential range of behaviour. This makes behavioural flexibility possible. It becomes possible to interrupt limiting behaviour so as to try other options. If what you are doing is not working, do something different! This is one of the core principles of NLP – in fact, of any change effort.

This is also called creative thinking. The assumptions of creative thinking are as follows:

1. There is a solution 2. If there is a solution, I can find it 3. I can find the solution… it is within my potential to do so!

One of the most effective techniques to increase your behavioural flexibility is by simply shifting your perspective. Identify a seemingly harmless habit, that is standing in the way to successful goal achievement. For example, eating fried chicken for breakfast! Say out loudly to yourself a statement you regularly make to others or yourself about this habit, (usually in a boastful way) “I know I should lose weight, but I love my food!” Imagine yourself saying this statement to the queen, a baby, an elephant and a mouse. Pretend to be Mickey Mouse or the Mask or any cartoon character that has a distinct and exaggerated manner of talking……. Imagine yourself doing this now. This is often an instant cure!

115

Level 3 - Incubation Opportunity Exercise

Creative Filtering

There is nothing tall or short, but filtering makes it so

Filtering is a way of dealing with complexity. Filtering refers to habits of patterning that help us process data.

When we process data, we pattern information. This is a process of making comparisons, viz. we assess incoming information to other information. We process one set of data relative to another set of data. For example, what do you think of if I ask ‘What was the size of her living room?’.

While filtering is a vital and useful process, it can also create limitations that can stand in the way of your success and happiness. There are many filtering techniques that we all use naturally in order to survive. Each technique is rarely used independently of the other techniques. The four principle techniques with their corresponding filtering habits that are more easily identified are:

• Deletion or Exclusion • Exaggeration • Addition • Generalization

116


Deletion or Exclusion

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook William James

A person is bombarded with millions of bits of information at a time. Naturally this cannot all be processed. The person is obliged to pay attention to and process a significantly smaller amount of this information. In so doing, the person ‘leaves out’ or ignores certain parts over others.

Exactly what the person chooses to ignore and what the person chooses to pay attention to, depends on past programming. This programming or automated processes is learned through conditioning.

The person, for example, will pay more attention to information that he/she perceives to be relevant. If a person is passionate about the colour purple and does not have strong feelings about the colour grey, he/she will not even recall having seen the colour grey but will be able to tell you what purple objects were present. He/she might even comment that there were fewer purple objects than there were of any other colour!

You will notice this difference when in the company of others of a different sex, or age perhaps. Parents might have to remind their children to focus. If you are going through a particular experience, you might suddenly notice others in identical situations. For example, if you are considering buying a certain type of car, a mini; it will suddenly appear as if there are more minis than usual on the road. You are paying attention to different data and filtering out the rest!

One example of where deletion becomes problematic is the person who pays more attention to negative information and filters out the positive. I remember this saying from a Dale Carnegie course I attended “Once I did bad, that I heard ever; twice I did good, that I heard never”.

Can you think of an example where you use deletion?

117


Exaggeration

Exaggeration, is a combination of deletion and addition. Exaggeration, like with all filtering techniques, gives more attention to one type of data over others. It usually includes magnifying (adding) information that others might not be able to perceive in that context. One might even be accused of seeing things that are not there!

An expression you might have come across is “he likes to make a mountain out of a molehill!” While all filtering can be said to be distortion, exaggeration is the clearest example. It also has the potential to be the most limiting or the most empowering of all the distortions!

An example of where exaggeration can be useful is the practice of calibrating your state. A more well-known expression for this is ‘accentuate the positive’. Exaggeration is the stuff good humour is made of. It is also an excellent memory technique. Exaggeration is commonly used to help people cope with their anxieties, especially, a fear of public speaking. The anxious presenter is often advised to imagine all of their audience as being naked, or tiny, or doing something peculiar. It can also be useful to imagine the audience giving you a standing ovation.

Catastrophising is making mountains out of molehills! The person often adds information based on their fears or anxieties usually based on having to face an unfamiliar situation or task. The person tries to predict the event based on incomplete knowledge or on past events he/she thinks might be similar. It usually happens when you are emotionally invested in the event, for example, your image, a family member and a new relationship that ‘has to’ work.

• Can you identify when you or others around you exaggerate or catastrophise?

• Have you had positive experiences with exaggeration? • How do you approach unfamiliar situations that are

important to you?

118


Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

William James

Addition

Addition is when one adds to information when processing it. This may be because one expects to see, hear or receive that information. It might also arise from connecting certain pieces of information in a particular way. It becomes a matter of ‘you will find what you are looking for’.

Mind reading and drawing premature conclusions are typical examples of a limiting use of this technique. Mind reading at its worst is when a person thinks others are thinking badly of or have negative intentions towards him/her.

An effective technique to beat this limitation is to ‘fight fire with fire’. What this means is that, for example, you are talking with someone and that person suddenly break rapports by looking over your shoulder. What conclusion would you make? What conclusion would you make if you believed the other person thought you were dull?

Cocktail Party Effect

The ‘Cocktail Party Effect’ refers to our ability to pay attention and follow one conversation out of many in a noisy environment.

What are the factors that affect your ability to tune in during conversations. The ability to distinguish speech in a noisy environment is almost entirely learnt. To be able to follow a conversation, one makes use of past learning. We have to learn to access certain clues and cues to which we add information to be able to make sense of our experience. These cues include what was said before and even lip reading. The person therefore needs to position him/herself strategically to the others to be able to access these cues.

119

If someone appears to tune out, there could be a multitude of explanations. It could indicate that you need to gain a deeper understanding of your interaction style and its impact on others. You may need to modify your sentences, not cover your mouth or to not mumble when speaking and so on. It might be that the person is distracted by echoes, lights or some other events in the background.

Do you know that due to circumstances, such as loss of sleep, preoccupation with other things amongst many other factors, a person finds it harder to filter out the irrelevant.

Tips:One way to control a tendency to mind-read is to add a different set of information to your assumptions.

• What positive assumptions can you make that will help fight this tendency?

• Think of or seek more positive alternatives for what is happening.

• Become less certain of your prediction and give the other the benefit of the doubt.

• Build up your self confidence through cultivating your resourceful state.

• Re-align your perspective by working out a technique so you do not take the other person’s behaviour personally.

120


Generalizations

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices

William James

Generalization is a skill that is constructive and useful in learning. It can however become limiting when it gives rise to prejudice that is to the detriment of others. The person, through learning and experience makes certain associations, for example, when it gets dark, it is night. This is not always true though. Children in particular might have difficulty understanding that darkness does not necessarily mean night and brightness does not mean it is not bedtime.

Many jokes and riddles are based on generalizations and other filtering habits. The success of the jokes and riddles is anticipated as one counts on the other person filtering information in a certain way. For example, what appears twice in Summer and once in Autumn but never in Spring? Find the answer at the bottom of the page!

In the same way, when one notices certain predominant characteristics that seem to apply more to one group of people compared to any other group that you have encountered, you may form a blanket opinion. If it is a characteristic that can be perceived to be negative and is then applied to others who are perceived to be similar to that group, this gives rise to prejudice. Prejudice has a destructive purpose and is not ecological as any benefits are at the expense of one party.

Because filtering is a natural, essential and creative way of processing data, it is useful to be open to examining how we filter information (our perceptions, values and beliefs), so we can become more constructive in its use and application.

Filtering techniques have been learned and can be relearned in a deliberate manner. (the answer to the riddle is the letter ‘m’).

Faulty or limiting generalization if usually referred to as over-generalization.

121

To emphasise, filtering is essential to learning, creativity and coping with change. For many reasons, one might learn to filter information in a way that is no longer useful. It might simply be that you would like to learn a more effective and beneficial way to filter data.

The main function of filtering is survival. A person’s filtering limitations really become evident at times when change and new learning is required. This is especially evident during major transitions. The most accessible transition experience for us to study is that of expatriates.

There are times where everything is perfect in the new country (honeymoon stage). There are times when one forgets bad memories of one’s home country and perhaps sees only obstacles in one’s new country (Culture Shock).

One is able to observe as expatriates move through different stages trying to survive in their new environment. Through each stage different filtering techniques become predominant. The person can learn how to become habituated to these stages that are necessary for successful coping. When the person learns to help these natural filtering processes along, he/she will not only cope, but his/her experience becomes a life-enhancing one.

Emotional Branding

Pay attention to all forms of advertising you encounter in the next 2 days. What filtering techniques do they take advantage of, to limit your choices?

Practically all advertising techniques are based on associations as these provide a direct connection with your subconscious and therefore has the greatest potential to influence your decisions. Advertising takes advantage of your existing associations to create new ones to their product. This is called emotional branding. Advertising is not directed at your conscious mind.

The main technique used is calibration. Some examples of this is zooming in or zooming out, increasing the size or decreasing the size of an object, increasing or decreasing the sound, exaggerating, using colour or black and white, and many more.

122


Exploring your Resourceful State

Which of the following represents your perceptual preferences?

• Sensory information • Sensing plus Emotional Analysis • Sensing plus Logical Analysis • Sensing plus Intuition • Sensing plus Reflection or Philosophical Analysis • Sensory plus Aesthetic Analysis • other

When you think of a past success and enhance the positive elements of that experience you will feel more of that state. Can you remember the last time you received good news… you felt uplifted … you felt like you were walking on air… practically floating. You did something spontaneous… perhaps you screeched with delight, or you did a little dance, or you lifted someone off the ground. You might have given the closest person a hug or a kiss.

These examples demonstrate the power of your Resourceful State. I hope it also demonstrates that this is a natural process and also that it is very easy to enter into. One does not need extensive or complicated strategies to use this power. Neither does one need lots of time to do this. You already have the ability to freely and effectively enter into your resourceful state. You have the tools and techniques to self-manage your state. The more you use these tools the better they will serve you. Everyday in everyway, this ability is getting better and better…

You are the only expert regarding your state. You know best what you feel and how to alter this. You are in the best position possible to receive and interpret feedback your body is giving you.

123

You might find it useful to brainstorm ways that have worked for you when you needed to change state in the past. What gets you in a good mood and what gets you in a bad mood. A good mood is a mood that is aligned to enhancing the intrinsic quality of your life. A good mood refers to getting in the mood that is aligned to your success in the task or situation you have in front of you.

To explore the tools that support you to achieve success and happiness, you will find it useful to start with the following questions:

• What music makes me feel positive? • What music relaxes me? • What do I find most relaxing? • How do I best revitalise myself? • Which people do I enjoy being around?

Think of ways to improve your mood using each of your senses. You will also find it useful to consider ways to accentuate the positive by using your seven powers.

What other thoughts give you a warm and happy feeling? – flowers, a smile, a compliment, witnessing an act of kindness, the unconditional love and innocence of a child, the smell of a rose…

124

Level 4 – Innovation Opportunity Exercise

Stress Management

You are not your thoughts Your thoughts have the power to support you or limit you

You have the power to change your thoughts

This is the foundation of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. CBTfocuses on the way people think so as to help them create the emotional states and behaviour they want. The focus is on habits and how to change one’s ‘state of mind’ through the use of a systematic approach.

CBT has made great advances in helping people overcome anxiety and cure phobias. The basis of this is research on mental associations and the meaning one gives to things. In this exercise we too can benefit from the decades of scientific research and progress made in this field, especially regarding anchors and triggers.

Through learning the process involved in how we set anchors and learning to identify the (activating) events that trigger these anchors, a person can control his/her thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

CBT explains how a person’s thoughts are based on his/her values, beliefs and perceptions which in turn gives rise to the meaning the person assigns to events. Remember ‘nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so’. This is what philosophers have been telling us from the beginning of time. The thoughts then influence the person’s emotions, physical sensations and thus behaviour.

Fortunately, this is an expansion of the stimulus-response model that was more applicable to laboratory animals than to human beings. People can control their conscious minds through a willingness to access and liberate their subconscious minds. Humans are able to assign meaning to and interpret events through more sophisticated processes than do animals.

125

Defining and managing your goals as well as avoiding to define and manage your goals, gives rise to ‘Stress’. This refers to the emotional and behavioural response to a stimulus (event) and is commonly called the ‘fight or flight’ response because it will drive you towards or away from the event.

It is also a useful indicator of your emotional state. Your response might cause you to become immobilised or to avoid/ flee the event.

Emotional Intelligence is when you are able to recognise the feedback you receive from your body and choose a strategy to deal with the event. Your response, whether liberating or limiting, is always directed at managing these feelings of ‘stress’.

• How does my body tell me that I’m feeling stressed? • A signal for me to realise that I am being immobilised by

stress is… loss of humour, self-neglect, impatience and sleep disturbances.

• How can I increase my emotional resilience? • In other words: • How can I increase my ability to become more flexible • How can I increase my tolerance for frustration? • How can I increase my ability to deal with change and

complexity?

126

Level 4 – Innovation Options Exercise

Mindfulness and Demand Language

The activity of paying closer attention to how you filter information is called mindfulness. When you become more aware of self-limiting habits, you can turn them around to create habits that will bring you success and happiness. Mindfulness is done in the spirit of unconditional positive regard, which is a willingness to accept one’s faults and mistakes in a non-judgemental way. This is based on the premise that a person is not equal to his/her thoughts, feelings and behaviour but can change these.

Spend the next day examining your talk and self-talk for thoughts and beliefs that contain words like the following:

• Must • Should • Ought to • Need to • Have to

These thoughts and beliefs fall under the category of ‘demand-language’. The presumption is that everything can be categorised in terms of black and white. All behaviour, thoughts, emotions, and so on, can only fall into the one or the other category. When one sets such a limitation, it leads to inflexibility.

A good exercise to expand one’s flexibility is to consider replacing these words with other options and alternatives such as prefer to, might, wish, want to, amongst others.

127

Level 4 – Innovation Achievements Exercise

Word Associations override Sensory Evidence

Scientists continue to study our senses and how we use them. Controlled studies show that when being taught new smells, the label affects the person’s ability to differentiate between the smells. A label of mushroom substituted for fresh muesli results in the same substance smelling entirely differently!

Labelling serves as a perceptual filter. When there is a discrepancy between sensory evidence and the label, the person gives more credibility to the label. On the one hand this indicates the level of challenge a person faces when trying to change faulty filtering. However this would be a false conclusion. It is easier for somebody to change his/her habits when the new association can be aligned to core values and beliefs.

This is another reason that advertising can be very successful. It uses a label which it anchors to your existing associations. By creating a strong enough image, the label is given credibility in your subconscious mind. Becoming aware of how this is done as well as knowing what you really want, will help you retain your freedom to choose.

128

Level 4 – Innovation Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

A picture is worth a thousand words. A positively-framed one is worth even more!

Positive Reframing

Accentuating the positive is what positive reframing is all about. This is not to be confused with positive rephrasing.

Positive rephrasing, for example, is the process of defining what you want instead of what you do not want. The goal statement “I do not want to waste my money on frivolous items” can be rephrased to form positive phrases of what you really want. Therefore, “I want to use my money on items that will add value to the quality of my life”.

Positive reframing is any thoughts and activities that reframes anything in a more positive light. It is a process of looking for and enhancing the positive features of a situation, object, person and thought.

There are countless examples of where this is done all the time. For example, if you want to sell your home, or you are expecting guests; you would probably tidy up and rearrange things to enhance what you already have.

One does the same when trying to look slimmer or dressing up for photographs or to impress someone.

Giving compliments focuses on one or two features and emphasises these over others. This is a form of acknowledgement that is highly valued and has a positive impact on your relationship with the other. The person might not even have considered that feature to be unique or special.

When you compliment yourself, it is called an affirmation.This is what sourcing your strengths is all about. You look for signs of positive qualities and emphasise these. This confirmation gives your strength the respect it deserves and so increases its’ potential.

129

A self-help strategy called Couéism developed the affirmation “every day in every way I’m getting better and better!” If you were to practice using your imagination on a daily basis, wouldn’t this be true. You can say ‘everyday in everyway, my imagination is getting better and better’. This is true for any skill that you wish to learn and develop. This strategy specifically aims at helping people to tap into their vast reserves of health-giving energy.

This technique is also called autosuggestion though it has nothing to do with willing the conscious mind to obey your commands. Repeating your affirmation rapidly like a mantra, aligns the conscious and subconscious minds so that they can work together. Positive reframing is particularly useful when a person feels stuck due to filtering out the positive while simultaneously giving too much importance to negative features. At times such as these, it can be useful to work with a coach, or use a strategy that gives you access to a different perspective. The following are a few more benefits of positive reframing:

• It is useful when you are feeling overwhelmed. A new perspective will help you reconnect to your resources and give you hope.

• Positive reframing helps you to unlock your potential. Your attitude and limiting self-talk lead to limitations or barriers to success and happiness.

• To encourage a more balanced perspective you can learn to give yourself and others positive reinforcement through acknowledgment of good intentions. You might learn to ask questions such as ‘what areas of this situation are worth keeping?

• Positive reframing helps you to pose questions to yourself and others in a more positive frame. Others will react in becoming less defensive. The potential of this approach is evident when you keep your focus on the constructive outcomes you want.

• When keeping your journal, a sure strategy to keep motivation and commitment up, is to regularly write a list of 5 things you did well that day. If you are unable to generate this list, it might be a signal to start working on a new perspective!

130

Level 4 – Innovation Tools and Techniques

Ergonomics – converse ecology!

Your environment can support you or sabotage your efforts for success and happiness. It is essential to create an environment and lifestyle that is congruent and aligned to your core principles and your goals.

Ergonomics is when you manipulate or arrange your environment so that it supports your health and enhances your quality of life. This can be as simple as following the basic principles of interior decorating, which is, that your environment creates harmony through creating circumstances and conditions for stress-free living and achieving. Some of the ways to do this are to simply use your common sense and trust your instincts. You might decide to go the Feng-Shui way, which refers to the ancient Chinese way of creating a harmonious relationship between the person and his/her environment. Other examples include the use of sound therapy, colour therapy, and even light therapy to uplift your spirit.

Ergonomics is about arranging your physical environment in such a way that it supports your goals and the habits you wish to nurture so that they become easy and natural.

Studies have shown that office workers are happier and more productive when allowed to take personal belongings such as family photos and plants to the office.

If connecting with yourself is one of your goals, you might find it helpful to keep at hand, a journal, a book for inspiration and pen and paper to jot down your thoughts. A supportive environment offers options and opportunities to renew, cultivate and mobilise your resourceful state.

• What do you watch on television? • What do you read? • How do you arrange your environment for romance,

good sleep, healthy eating, etc?

131

Level 4 – Innovation State and Skills

Bend like the willow… do not resist like the oak! Unknown

Anchors and Triggers

As we are a self-organising system, we develop systems and habits to make our lives easier. We develop these habits for the explicit purpose that these habits will then manage our behaviour. Habits can be assessed in terms of ‘anchors’ and ‘triggers’. Anchors are like signposts – these are the associations we make to fix certain behaviour patterns to corresponding circumstances. These anchors can then be triggered by the corresponding circumstances (which signal the cues for behaviour).

Talking about habits might bring to mind memories of the times your habits got the better of you. This is the case because you probably tried to break your habit through sheer will power. Adding the power of your imagination, will give you lasting success because imagination creates the experience and associations necessary for congruent connections!

Using the imagination, communicates directly with the subconscious. Anchors can use existing positive images that are already associated in your subconscious. Create anchors that have positive meaning to you and will therefore give you the results you want.

An example of setting an anchor to trigger a resourceful state is the use of metaphor, fairytales and fables. My favourite fable is that of the willow and the oak. The oak makes fun of the willow that bends and waves around in the breeze. He declares that the willow is weak in allowing himself to be blown around. He advices the willow to stand up stubbornly and ‘resist’ the wind. When a strong storm raged one night, the oak resisted and the willow swayed. Many hours later, the oak had lost many branches to the storm while the willow had only lost a few leaves. This fable could mean many things. For it to be useful to you, you can assign it a positive meaning. It could be a symbol of being true to yourself, or of not being swayed by others advice. To me it is a symbol of being able to adapt and to be flexible.

132

Level 5 – Integration Opportunity Exercise

When the will and the imagination are at war, the imagination invariably gains the day.

Émile Coué

Cultivating your Resourceful State

Choosing to entering your resourceful state is about choosing to feel positive in specific situations so as to empower yourself to carry out certain behaviour.

Begin by defining what qualities and emotions you would like to be associated with your Resourceful State.

• Calm • Confident • other

Therefore an example of your goal statement might be: I want to feel calm and confident when I communicate with X so as to be able to work constructively on this project.

At this point you may write down three specific behaviours you want to see yourself engaging in. For example, your goal is to build rapport with X, so you decide to:

• Accept compliments with a smile and gracious thank you. • Smile • Instead of saying ‘yes, but’ say ‘You have a point. I also

think that … might work’

Think of a person with whom you would like to build rapport? Apply a goal setting method of choice to this goal. For example, SMARTEST STAR – specific, measurable, achievable, resources, timeline/timed, ecology, state (skills) and take action!

You might want to add specific situations, tasks, actions and attitudes as well as the results desired, i.e. the STAR factor!

133

Level 5 – Integration Options Exercise

Creative Change Chronicles

Ink it to link it!

Diaries, journals and other ways of recording information is still considered to be one of the simplest and most helpful tools to bring you success and happiness with any goal! The act of logging your progression towards your goals gives incredible benefits. The act of expressing and reflecting on your feelings and perceptions adds to these benefits.

I refer to this process as the Chronicles of Creative Change since it also serves to chronicle your change experience. It is also an opportunity to stay focused and to reflect on and address any challenges your are facing. It is a relaxing activity that maintains your optimal motivation and serves as a good memoir of your experiences. It can serve as a means of getting something off your chest or it can be a private expression of your dreams and hopes.

Human nature seems to value the written word more than the spoken word and writing down your thoughts, observations, plans and feelings might be the first step in moving toward productive outcomes. The simple act of writing might be all that is needed to give you the outcome you desire. I am sure you remember the saying ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’. Some types of therapy recommend writing down limiting emotions and then burning or tearing these up.

It is widely accepted that the greatest tool for personal development and change management is the diary or log. It would be unusual if you had a coach who did not prescribe this as the first course of action in your quest for success and happiness. You may write down your goals or log your progress, write a pledge or contract and in the technological age, even keep a weblog if you wish.

The diary is a means of connecting with yourself. It is a means to stay focused. It serves not only as a log, but as a steady map and guide on your journey. The diary also reflects your progress. This might be particularly useful when you need that extra bit of motivation.

134

The various experiential exercises (in this book) that required you to ‘ink it’ are all examples of using this tool.

Expressing your dreams and your goals in any form is a big step towards making it real. Expressing your dreams is a way of making that commitment to yourself. You may visualise your goal, write it down, doodle about it, represent it graphically, and link it mentally to a certain piece of music. Research has shown that self-expression is good for your health. It helps you reduce your stress levels and enhances your immune system!

Discussing your goals with others makes them seem more real and can increase your motivation and commitment. It is a matter of ‘name it to tame it’. Writing it down, concretises your thoughts into a written contract with yourself and you are less likely, perhaps due to conditioning, to break a written contract.

A diary enables you to review your goals daily. You can reassess the validity of goals set or explore alternative paths to achieve the same outcome. You might even realise that the end does not justify the means!

The diary is a tool that will help you to generalise and optimize your learning experiences on a day to day basis, across situations and in different areas of your life. Journaling is a means to connect with yourself and your goals. It is also a way to tap into the resources of your subconscious.

Keep a diary, for a period of seven days. Spend five to ten minutes each day recording anything you wish about a situation or project. You may doodle or stick in pictures and other souvenirs. You can write your thoughts about a book you are reading. You can record your good memories and your achievements.

Positive side effects

Research shows when you actively work on your personal development, and combined with visualisation techniques, you can reduce your stress levels and improve your health.

Replacing limiting beliefs with positive ones, as well as the regular use of imagination boosts your immune system and stimulates the brains hormones – give you feelings of happiness and fulfilment.

135

Level 5 – Integration Achievements Exercise

Benefits and Pay-Offs

What happens to make one decide to change ones’ habits and behaviours? On some level, the person realises that there are more positive and satisfying options. On that same level, the person realises that the old habits and behaviour is outdated and no longer giving sufficient benefits. The costs of hanging onto old habits and behaviours is proving to be higher than the benefits.

When defining any goal, it is recommended to carry out a deliberate Cost/Benefit Analysis. One such example is the use of the SWAT or SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats). This gives a good indicator of ROI i.e. Return on Investments.

In the case of giving up old habits and behaviour, many people find it helpful to also deliberately analyse the benefits (also called pay-off) one has been receiving from hanging onto those habits and behaviours.

For example, you realise that the time has come to build rapport with X. What were the pay-offs you received from keeping X at a distance?

• What do I get out of keeping X at a distance? • If I allowed X close to me, I am afraid that… • Keeping X at a distance gives me… • What else happens directly and indirectly when I keep X

at a distance? • What does this bring me? • What of this is worth holding onto? • How else can I bring this into my life?

This exercise emphasises that the world does not have to be seen through the lens of black/white. Flexibility is being open-minded to realise that you would not be hanging onto a habit or behaviour if it did not carry some benefit. This is about being open-minded to the fact that even ‘bad’ behaviour can have a positive value. You have the choice and the power to reassign meaning to the behaviour, beliefs and values you hold.

136

Level 5 – Integration Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

We think too small. Like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he

surfaced, he would have an entirely different view. Mao Tse-tung

Raising the Bar

I believe it is important that goals provide a healthy amount of ‘stretch’ and challenge. That is why I focus on working from your passions, your strengths and your resourceful state. The ‘Stretch Factor’ or raising the bar is more than simple coping. It involves an element of being proactive, thinking big and extending or stretching your thoughts beyond your comfort zone.

It is about wondering ‘what if’ and being open to the options that come with the premise that ‘you can do more’. These are about transformation, personal development and opportunity development. Setting goals that are high enough increases commitment and motivation.

In spite of my commitment to stretching myself and helping others do the same, I realised that I could still do that little bit more. Last night, I was awoken by a strange dream and a headache.

In my dream, I was trying to move forward through an open doorway. The top of the door-frame was too low. As a result, each time I moved forward, I banged my forehead and got thrown backwards. This repeated bizarre sequence of action-result, and the feeling of getting nowhere caused me to awaken. The sudden insight to ‘Raise the Bar’ cleared my headache! To me, this is an example of how our subconscious communicates with us in a language that is clearly effective and gets our attention. While others might wish to give a different interpretation to this dream, the important thing to remember is that the real usefulness of your dreams is the life-enhancing interpretation you personally give to it. Others can only support you in your quest to search for a meaning that is personally authentic and empowering.

137

Level 5 – Integration Tools and Techniques

My Secret Garden

My goal is to use the power of my imagination to create an imaginary place I can enter into and leave at will; feeling calm, confident and empowered to rise up to the challenge of any task or situation.

You have the power right here and now to float into an imaginary world of your own making. It is a world in which you have complete control over all its elements. You are safe and secure. It is your own personal retreat… you can name it whatever you wish. It can be as big or as small as you wish. You can change any of its qualities with a simple thought… and you are at one with this parallel universe. You are made of energy…whatever you imagine takes place instantaneously… effortlessly… magically and freely. Feel the calm embrace you… whenever you bring your fingertips together, you are able to materialise into your magical world…

When you are in your parallel universe, you remain aware of what is happening in your conscious reality. You have full power and awareness of both of your states. At any moment you may choose to turn your full attention back to your conscious reality. When you do this, you feel wide awake and calm, confident and renewed.

138

Level 5 – Integration State and Skills

Stepping into Success ™

A timeline such as ‘Stepping into Success’, is vital to successful goal management. In fact, if you use none of the other tools and techniques, visualising success images in your timeline (on a daily basis) will help you achieve your goals.

This exercise consists of three parts. The diamond in the middle, represents your current position – the present. The diamond to the left represents the past and the one to the right, represents the future.

You might choose to represent this timeline in different ways. Wherever you are sitting, lying or standing right now, you may choose three positions in the room to represent these three points in time.

Use one of the earlier exercises to define a past success. Imagine this success in detail so that you re-experience it with the resulting feelings of achievement and abundance. This is what your resourceful state feels like. Enter that experience and state. Feel those feelings, hear those thoughts. Now get ready to float out of that state...into your present position… experience what this feels like…

139

Now position your goal into the future… float into that position… you are successfully achieving your goal… and fulfilment… experience your success… enjoy it fully… before floating back to your current position.

For a moment, connect all three positions together… feel their combined force field.

Take a moment to compliment your past self… become one with your resources… See yourself transfer those strengths to your future self. See how this helps the future you to success. Now tune into your future self… listen to the insights that will help you complete the cycle… you are tuning into the steps you need to take in the next 24 hours to make that success possible… your future is reaching out to embrace you!

140

The Power of Connection

The conditions for creativity are to be puzzled: to concentrate; to accept conflict and tension; to be born everyday; to feel a

sense of self. Erich Fromm

How to Create Congruent Connections By Leonardo Da Vinci

I roamed the countryside searching for answers to things I did not understand. Why shells existed on the tops of mountains

along with the imprints of coral and plants and seaweed usually found in the sea. Why the thunder lasts a longer time than which causes it and why immediately on its creation the

lightning becomes visible to the eye while thunder requires time to travel. How the various circles of water form around the spot which has been struck by a stone and why a bird sustains itself

in the air. These questions and other strange phenomena engaged my thought throughout my life.

Leonardo Da Vinci gives us valuable insight into the thought processes of a resourceful person. These are the characteristics of an active and enquiring mind. He is alert and curious. He asks big questions on a consistent basis and trusts himself to find the answers. He seeks to understand life and the meaning of life. He seeks to understand how he fits into this picture. He is open to life and to experience. He seeks connections!

• Are you ready to make the connection? • Do you want to develop your own goal management

model? • Do you want success and happiness?

141

From Passion to Performance

To cease to think creatively is but little different from ceasing to live

Benjamin Franklin

There are unlimited options to creating an acronym that symbolises your rules for success and happiness. Which one is for you?

P Prioritize E Ecological R Realistic F Feasible O Opportunities, Options R Resources M Mission A Authentic Action N Network C Challenge E Expectations

Do not throw the baby out with the bath-water! So maybe you are still not interested in acronyms and in organised goal management.… If you were to take away only three things from this book, I would like them to be the following…

1. Think of a past success. Think of 3 things that you did well. Find ways of using these 3 things daily for continued success and happiness,

2. Place you past success, present position and future success on a timeline, and

3. Use your imagination twice a day to imagine successful outcomes!

When you use your imagination, you are experiencing your future success. Your imagination automatically forms a clear, specific and positive mental manifestation of your success. If you can imagine it, it is achievable and realisable. Your imagination will create the context and tasks as well as define the outcomes you desire. Your imagination will also put you in your resourceful state. You will find that you are automatically doing what needs to be done to achieve this success and happiness.

142

Further Reading

BAKER, S., BAKER, K. AND CAMPBELL, G.M. (2003) The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Project Management. 3rd ED. Alpha BROUNSTEIN, M. (2000). Coaching and Mentoring for Dummies. Wiley Publishing. Inc. COLE, H. P., & Sarnoff, D. (1980). Creativity and counselling. Personnel and Guidance Journal, 59, 140-146. and theory. Boston, MA, Houghton Mifflin. COVEY, S. (1998). The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens. New York: Freeside. EGAN, G. (2002). The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping. 7th ED. Thomson, Brooks/Cole. GREENE, B. & WINFREY, O. (1996). Make the Connection: Ten Steps to a Better Body – and a Better Life. London: Century Books. HALE, R. & WHITLAM, P. (1995). Target Setting and Goal Achievement. London: Kogan Page Limited. O’ CONNOR, J. (2001). NLP Workbook: A Practical Guide to Achieving the Results You Want. London: Element. ROBERTSHAW, J. E., Mecca, S. J., & Rerick, M. N. (1978). Problem-solving: A systems approach. New York: Petrocelli Books. ROGERS, C.R. (1951). Client-centred therapy: its current practice, implications VICKERS, A. and BAVISTER, S. (2005), Teach Yourself: Coaching. Bookpoint. Ltd.

143

Index

Phase I

Find your Passion

My Goal 25 My Philosophy 25 Creative Assumptions 27 Creative Methodology 28 Positive Focus 29 Experiential Learning 30 Learning through Reflection 30 Embrace your Passion 31 Drive your Passion 32 Creative Brainstorming 33 Passion Indicators 34 Habits 35 Universal Shapes Value Generator 36 Association 37 Free Association 38 Determination 41 Feedback 42 Mission Statement 43 Revitalize, Renew, Refresh 44 Begin at the beginning… 45 Three Wishes 46 How well do you know yourself? 47 Personal Authenticity 48 The Seven Habits of Peak Performance 49 Character Traits 50 Self-Actualisation 51 Fairy God-Mother 52 Man in the Mirror 53 Global Attitude 54 Tools and Techniques 55 Believe in Yourself 56

144

Phase II


The Benefits of Goal Setting 59 Value Fulfilment 60 Problem-management and Project-management goals

63

Opportunity-development goals 64 Holistic Goal Setting 65 The Right Tool for the Job 66 Goal Definition 67 Goal Categories 68 Goal Category Selection 69 The Coaching and Life-Balance Wheels 72 The Peace Wheel 74 Models of Goal Setting 75 Sub-Goals 76 SMART 77 Specific 77 Measurable 78 Achievable 79 SWOT Analysis 80 Realistic 81 Timed 82 Summary 83 Working out Benefits 84 SMARTER 85 NLP in Goal Setting 86 Responsible Goals? 89 The ER-Factor 90 SMARTEST STAR 91 Acronyms and Synonyms 92 Specific 92 Measurable 93 Achievable 94 Realistic/ Resourceful 95 Time-line and Timed 96 Ecological 97 State and Strengths-based 97 Take Action 97 Glossary 99

145

Phase III


Treasure Hunt 103 Island of Wonders 104 Five Senses 105 Five Senses – Expanded 106 Visualisation Technique 107 Sensory Preferences 108 Circles of Success 109 Attentional Aspect 110 Progressive Muscle Relaxation 111 Feedback and Sensory Acuity 112 Synaesthesia 113 Sensory Parameters 114 Creative Filtering 115 Deletion or Exclusion 116 Exaggeration 117 Addition 118 Cocktail Party Effect 118 Generalizations 120 Emotional Branding 121 Exploring your Resourceful State 122 Stress Management 124 Emotional Intelligence 125 Mindfulness and Demand Language 126 Word Associations override Sensory Evidence

127

Positive Reframing 128 Ergonomics – reverse ecology! 130 Anchors and Triggers 131 Cultivating your Resourceful State 132 Creative Change Chronicles 133 Positive Side Effects 134 Benefits and Pay-Offs 135 Raising the Bar 136 My Secret Garden 137 Stepping into Success 138

146

About the Author

Aneesah Bakker is internationally recognized for her artistic talents. She is a prolific, self-taught artist who has had exhibitions in the Netherlands and Paris. Her work can be found in private collections throughout the world.

The author has a strong background in therapeutic, training and education settings. She has worked in a teaching hospital, private practice and corporate environments.

She has lived the life of a Global Nomad since 1998 and is currently residing in London. Her experiences have led her to write articles and to coach expatriates on issues surrounding relocation as well as personal and professional development. She has developed a unique system called OATS to enable expatriates to perceive their transition as an opportunity to create a life-enhancing transformation. Her life is proof that her model works - she applies it in different contexts with increasingly successful results. Her motto is that ‘Life goes on...only differently’.

Aneesah is passionate about supporting accompanying spouses and empowering them through her collaboration and provides an easily customized toolkit to help them master the accompanying challenges of relocation. Expatriates experience renewed confidence and are empowered to create the life they want for themselves and their families.

Aneesah has lived in South Africa, Austria, the Netherlands and Paris. She is currently residing with her husband and two children in London where she continues her work as an artist, author and coach.

passion to performance

Business

anindependent book

power of collaboration

contentsthe power of

power of passioneven

power of imagination21phase

passion toperformance

goal managementin coaching

goal management model