parenting presentation bayu beach resort ppt 1
DESCRIPTION
How parents react to childrenTRANSCRIPT
FACING FUTURE CHALLENGE27/5/2008 TUESDAY
FAMILY INSTITUTION
1
CONTENT
DEFINITION• FAMILY INSTITUTION• ITS NATURE• SIGNIFICANCE
FUTURE CHALLENGES
• NEWLY WED • CAREER • PREGNANCY• EMOTIONAL• SPIRITUAL• CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT• MARITAL RELATIONSHIP• ILLNESS• FINANCIAL
2
DEFINITION
FAMILY INSTITUTION
• It refers to any combination to any combination of two or more persons who are bound together over time by ties of mutual consent, birth and/or adoption or placement and who, together, assume responsibilities for variant combinations of responsibilities
RESPONSIBILITIES
• Physical maintenance and care of group members• Addition of new members through procreation or adoption• Socialization of children• Social control of members• Production, consumption, distribution of goods and services, Affective nurturance — love
3
NATURE OF FAMILY INSTITUTION
TYPE •NUCLEUS•EXTENDED
Nucleus •Comprises of father and mother•Small number of children - one or two.
Extended •Comprises of father, mother and other siblings such as auntie, uncle, cousins•Bigger number of children
4
SIGNIFICANCE OF FAMILY INSTITUTION
HUMAN CREATION (Q 4:1; 16:72; 30:72; )
VICEGERENT (Q 2:30) CONTINUITY OF `IBADAH
5
FUTURE CHALLENGES
• NEWLY WED• CAREER • PREGNANCY• EMOTIONAL• SPIRITUAL• CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT• MARITAL RELATIONSHIP• ILLNESS• FINANCIAL
6
CAREER AND FAMILY
CONFLICT OR HARMONY
7
1. DEFINITION
CAREER•Profession•Occupation•Toils•Jobs
FAMILY•Relatives•Siblings•Nucleas family•Extended family
8
2. PRESENT SCENARIO
General overview
Today approximately 12 million Malaysians are employed in various sectors of the economic activities (Ministry of Human Resource, 2007) and whether they are married, single, divorced,
young and old are actually striving to manage their careers and families.
This act of managing/ weaving/ juggling between career and family are both part of our identity and life today.
9
3. WOMEN AT WORK
Women like men, work outside the home for a variety of reasons.
Self-fulfillment
To pursue a career
Attitude of the family – women working outside the home
Women, more so than men, cycle in and out of the workforce depending on the needs of their families. After birth of a child, women may work part-time or find work they can do from home. They are more likely than men to adjust their work schedule or leave the workforce in later years to assist aging family members.
10
4. MEN AT WORK
In our society we have an expectation that men are the providers or breadwinners for their families.
For men, excessive work time is the main reason for work and family conflict.
So dads, too, are trying to balance and juggle work and family together
11
5. MARRIAGE AND WORK
Families in Malaysia have changed since the independence’s day and developed tremendously in the year 2000s, with more mothers and wives working outside the home.
In general, women’s employment outside of the home has a positive rather than a negative effect on marriage.
However, women generally take on a second shift when they work outside the home. The first shift is their job at workplace, and the second shift is their family work
12
6. CHALLENGES
How do we weave between career and family?
Are we beginning to burn out?
How do we manage between two incomes: yours, mine and ours?
How do we share household tasks?
Parents caring for parents?
How do we encourage family talk?
How do we take care of our mental health?
13
7. ARE WE BEGINNING TO BURN OUT?
Do you come home from work physically or emotionally drained, with little energy left for your family?
Do you suffer from headaches, backaches, digestive upsets, fatigue or exhaustion that can be traced to your problems at work?
Are you drinking too much coffee, smoking too many cigarettes, eating too much or unable to sleep at night due to work-related anxiety?
Do you find it difficult to get out of bed everyday knowing that you face an overwhelming workload?
SO WHAT NEXT?
14
IF SO…
If so, you may be among the millions of people in Malaysia who suffer from job and family-related stress, a problem that’s far more common than either you or the employees and the employers
have previously realized.With the application of the
important concepts of Islamization in all walks of life and recently
Islam Hadari by Malaysian Government, to offset the rampant or extreme idea of materialism, it
is hope that Malaysians are realizing that what matters is
having time for family and friends, rest and recreation, good deeds
and spirituality.As a Muslim, this is nothing new• What is our responsibility?• What is the purpose of life?• Why do we need to submit to
Allāh?• Man’s brain
15
In the west, it is reported that a lot of people are bowing out of the rat race or if
not, at least contemplating it.
Time Magazine, in the article “The Simple Life,” touts the return to basic values and the joys of home life as a “revolution in progress” and a shift in man’s private
agenda.
For some people that means a radical step: changing one’s career, living on less, or
packing up and moving to a quieter place.
For others it can mean something as subtle as leaving work a little earlier to watch the
kids in a soccer games.So, as a Muslim, we should be reminded that by remembering Him our soul will be
pacified. (Sūrah al-Ra`d, 13:28) By remembering Him in the form of submitting
to Him loyally, obediently, consciously, sincerely, willingly and the manner which
He wants it, we will be requited by Him multiple fold. (Sūrah Al-Rūm, 30:39).
16
By so doing the issue of stress related to work leading to physically or
emotionally drained, anxiety, unable to sleep and others could be ironed
out .Submission to Him pacify our soul.
This is line with the Prophetic tradition which says, translated as:
“An intelligent person is the one who submits his soul/self to [Allāh] and
works in preparation for his life after death.” (Tirmidhī, Sunān al-Tirmidhī).
When our soul is in the state of stable, and the state of mind is
normal or sensible (Al-Ghazzālī, IÍyā `Ulūm al-Dīn, vol. 4) we are able to act and plan properly for our daily
activities and life as a whole. With this we are able to avoid ourselves from unnecessary
sufferings like headaches and fatigue, emotionally or
physically.
17
8. MANAGING TWO INCOMES – YOURS, MINE & OURS Successfully meshing
2 styles of handling money does not
magically happen just because 2
people love each other. It is
something you have to keep working on as the years go by.
Every day there are dozens of little
decisions to be made about $, such as whether or not to pay cash, write a
cheque, use a credit card to pay bills and not to mention the bigger decisions
involving savings and investments,
ownership rights, takāful coverage and
other matters with long term
consequences.
Dividing up the responsibility for the
decisions and the paperwork that make up the money side of
a marriage isn’t exactly easy for 1-Y. In a 2-Y marriage, it’s even more difficult,
and second marriages can have
special money management
problems of their own, such as
budgeting for child support, alimony or
visits by children from earlier marriages.
Today, for most of us, 2-Y is often a
necessity, not a matter of choice. Since each partner contributes to the
family income, each wants a say on how
the $ is spent.18
2-Y families may face communication
challenges with the added $ they earn. It
is often that $ is equated with power, and the person who
earns more may have a greater say in how
his/her $ is spent.
With more wives working, the usual balance of power in some families may shift to mirror this
change.
The balance of power in 2-Y families may be altered according to proportion of total
family income the wife earns. The larger her
contribution, the greater her power in
family decisions.
Whether you started married life under the assumption that both would work, or you
changed from a single to a dual income
couple, you have had to come to a decision about what to do with the second income.
“that’s easy,” you say, “it will help pay the
bills” or “more money means more
enjoyment for the whole family.”In day-to-day living, it
often is not quite so simple.
What next?
19
There are 3 ways that we can look
at it.
Equal share Y
Proportional share Y
Pooler Y
20
Equal share YIt puts an equal amount of the respective salaries into joint
checking and saving accounts so as to cover the basic
household expenses. The remainder can be saved or
spent as each sees fit.
Disadvantage Arise when one spouse earns
appreciably more than the other; this
can lead to resentment by the
spouse who has less individual income.
Advantages - Each spouse
contributes to both daily expenses and long-term expenses
- Each has some money to call his/her own.
21
Proportional share Y• Each contributes a
percentage of his/her income to cover household expenses and joint savings. The remainder is his to do with as each pleases.
AdvantageBoth spouses are contributing to
household expenses, while retaining some
independence of funds.
DisadvantageA different in amount
of income each person earns could cause resentment,
since the person with the higher income
may have more “power” money
22
Pooler Y• It combines all Y to use
for both household and personal expenses. The money is usually held in joint accounts.
Advantage• The work of
each spouse is valued equally, regardless of income earned.
Disadvantages• The spouse with
the lesser income may not feel he or she has as
much to say in how the joint
income is spent. • Both spouses
may feel obligated to discuss all
purchases with each other,
which could be an advantage or disadvantage.
23
As Muslims, we should be wise in
making decisions. The choices which were mentioned
earlier may not be suitable to all. We may choose one
and improve as we go along together.
For the sake of discussion we could
have chosen the proportional share
Y. We have observed the
advantages and disadvantages. The issue that
arises out of this share is resentment
of more money, either from the wife
or the husband.
24
This feeling of resentment should not be allowed to
“dwell” in one’s self because this will
hinder the development of the
feeling of mawaddah wa
rahmah (Sūrah Al-Rūm, 30:21) in
family life.
The questions that one should ask sincerely:• What do you really
want? • Is it more money
than your spouse?• Is it power that you
are looking for?• Marriage is actually a
sacred partnership. The couples should strive hard to maintain the happiness in their marriage life.
25
One needs to know: • purification of self• the rights of the spouse• the responsibility of the
spouse• the meaning of power –
temporary measure• self control - jihād al-akbar• happiness
26
9. HOW DO WE SHARE HOUSEHOLD TASKS
“Delegatio
n does not
eliminate work; rathe
r it changes it”
Successful
delegation helps
all member
s of a group or family
become involved
and accompl
ish goals and
activities.
Each perso
n contributes and
shares in
completing part
of the whole task.
A blending of variou
s viewpoints and
inputs can
make for
stronger
results
27
Thus, the key factor
for couples is that they are
satisfied with their
arrangement of
work and the househ
old tasks
and feel that each
spouse’s
contribution is fair and justifiab
le to both
partner.
The family work and
household tasks may
not be evenly divide
d betwe
en husba
nd and wife, but the
workload is
perceived as equitable.
Studies
show that
married
men who do
housewor
k were happi
er and
more involved in their marriages.
distressedless
lonely and
better physical andpsychologic
al health
Wives
generall
y appreciate
husbands’
help with househol
d tasks.
28
10. CONCLUSION
Life is full of trials and tribulations. These trials are
meant to allow a person to strive by doing good deeds so as to reach a nobler state (Q.
67:2).
Indeed to juggle between career and family life is not an easy task. A person
has to be wise in making correct
judgment and correct decision for the
betterment of the two jobs.
Ultimately when one needs to ask – what do I want ? It
is career or it is family? It is justice or injustice? It is happiness or it is
misery?
These are some future
and expected challenges that
will confront us. Are we
ready?
29