Parent Groups and DDP Stony Point Cener NY – November 1, 2016

Betty J.B. Brouwer – bettyb@shalemnetwork.org Charlie Menendez – drcharliemenendez@gmail.com

The 5 Parental Systems

Parental Executive System

Parental Approach System

Parental Reward System

Parental Child-

Reading System

Parental Meaning-Making System

Jonathan Baylin & Dan Hughes

CH

ALL

ENG

E

LOW

HIGH

HIGH

Adapted from Social Discipline Window - Paul McCold and Ted Wachtel - 2000

TO WITH

NOT

Restorative

Neglectful

Authoritative Respectful

Reintegration

Indifferent Passive

Protective Easy/Undemanding

Firm Pressure

Expectations

Control

Fair - Encouragement - Nurturing

Practice Domains

Authoritarian Controlling

Punitive

Permissive

FOR

4 iirp.edu IIRP Canada

IIRP.org

FIR

M

LOW

HIGH

HIGH

Adapted from Social Discipline Window - Paul McCold and Ted Wachtel - 2000

TO WITH

NOT FOR Expectations

Support - Respect

Relationship Styles

www.shalemnetwork.org

When the failings that emerge while parenting a mistrustful child meet a parent’s sense of failing when they were children, in relationship with their own parents, there is a risk for a perfect storm of blocked trust and blocked care. (p. 205 )

Kim Golding - UK

Module 1: Attachment Theory and Therapeutic Parenting

• Introduction to Attachment Theory • Introduction to Patterns of Attachment and

Organized Patterns • The Disorganized Pattern of Attachment and

Developmental Trauma • Parenting and Attachment Patterns • Emotional Regulation, Mentalization and

Developing Mindfulness • Therapeutic Parenting

Module 2: The House Model of Parenting – Providing a Secure Base • Creating a Secure Base • Empathy and Support from the Secure Base • Using Attunement to Increase Empathy • Protecting the Family Atmosphere • Creating a Feeling of Belonging for the Child • Looking after Yourself

Module 3: The House Model of Parenting – Building Relationships and Managing Behaviour

• Helping the Child with Relationships • Parenting with PACE • Providing Structure and Supervision • Managing Confrontation and Coercive

Interactions • Managing Behaviour while Maintaining a

Secure Base • Managing Behaviours with PACE

Kim Golding

Kim Golding

Kim Golding

Discipline

Attunement

Relationship Repair

Discipline Sandwich

Province Wide Initiative to Provide Parent Groups for Adoptive Parents

in Ontario • Adoption Council of Ontario (ACO)

www.adoption.on.ca • Recognized needs:

– Increase parent support – Develop specific competence among

professionals • Developed a one-day curriculum to introduce

key competence issues • Sought out funding to purchase an integrated

curriculum to address both issues

Pathways to Permanence 2

• Developed by The Kinship Centre (kinshipcenter.org)

• Deborah Silverstein and Allison Davis Maxon beginning in 1998

• Developed out of Adoption Competency Training (ACT) – Developed for professionals

• Ontario trainers trained by: Cindy Roe and Ron Huxley

Pathways 2: What does it do and who can it help?

• Second of two parts of training provided to parents • Intended for parents who are already caring for

children • Developed for alternate caregivers • “…educates caregivers about the impact of

trauma and loss on all aspects of a child’s development and teaches skills to effectively parent”.

• Seven 3 hour sessions • Usually held weekly

Pathways 2 - Goals • Understand that loss, grief and separation are core issues

in adoption and permanence for the child, permanent family and birth family;

• Understand how healthy attachment develops, and the impact of early trauma on attachment relationships;

• Understand the factors affecting early brain development; • Appreciate the continuing power of birth family

relationships; • Learn to appreciate, respect, and accept the child’s genetic

history; • Appreciate the importance of children knowing all parts of

their story; • Be able to consider the unique cultural and multi-cultural

issues that affect the child’s and family’s identity formation and future experiences;

• Learn about developmental re-parenting and attachment-based, therapeutic parenting;

• Be able to assess personal strengths and areas for growth.

Pathways Strengths • Guidance based on years of wisdom and practice

– Many people involved in developing the curriculum have lived experience as adoptive parents

– The developers have trained LOTS of people • Provides key concepts in a model people can

learn and use • Resources

– Activities, videos, tools for session and for parents to take home

• Organization! • Can be applied at a broad, community level • Currently undergoing an intensive review

The Seven Core Issues

How Does Pathways Accomplish its Goals?

• Shifts begin to happen in how the parents think about their children, themselves, and how to parent

• Factors that help the shift to happen: – Presented with new information in an environment where

they can wrestle with it; – Interactions with leaders who have relevant experience,

knowledge and competence; – Interactions with peers who they know share their

experience • The curriculum provides experiences that shake up

the parents’ assumptions about their kids and what drives their behaviour.

What are Pathways Weaknesses?

• Dated videos • Situation specific regarding cultural issues • Dated and problematic treatment of child

development and brain issues • It does not even mention PACE

Slide Number 1Slide Number 2The 5 Parental SystemsSlide Number 4Slide Number 5Slide Number 6Slide Number 7Slide Number 8Slide Number 9Slide Number 10Slide Number 11Slide Number 12Slide Number 13Slide Number 14Province Wide Initiative to Provide Parent Groups for Adoptive Parents in OntarioPathways to Permanence 2Pathways 2: What does it do and who can it help?Pathways 2 - GoalsPathways StrengthsSlide Number 20The Seven Core Issues �How Does Pathways Accomplish its Goals?What are Pathways Weaknesses?Slide Number 24