operators and things the inner life of a schizophrenic

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Operators and Things:

The Inner Life of a Schizophrenic

Barbara OBrien

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 1 !" Barbara OBrien

Contents

Introduction, by Michael Maccoby

Prefatory Note, by L. J. Reyna

Schizophrenia: The De on in !ontrol

#$%T O&E

The "perator# Lea$e

%efore the "perator# !a e

#$%T T'O

The "perator#

#$%T T(%EE

The Dry %each and the &a$e#

The Subterranean !raft# an

So ethin'So ethin' ()tend#

My *ncon#ciou# +riend

The +reudian

Sparrin' Partner#

The Picture#

#$%T )O*%

The Rea#onin' Machine

The Te)tboo #

The %ronco

The P#ychiatri#t# and the Schizophrenic#

The -uidance and the Plannin'

oo "peratin'

The Doctor#


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That So ethin'

Pri$ate *ni$ac

Mutatin' Man

inton: Depart entalized Man

Me o on Mental In#titution#

The /nife and the atchet

$##E&+I,

Introd-ction

0($erythin' about thi# p#ycholo'y i#, in the deepe#t #en#e, e)perience12 !.-. Jun' ha# 3ritten, 0theentire theory, e$en 3hen it put# on it# o#t ab#tract air#, i# the direct outco e of #o ethin'e)perienced.2 Jun' al#o 3rite# 0To experience a drea and it# interpretation i# $ery different froha$in' a tepid reha#h #et before you on paper.2 4!.-. Jun', Two Essays on Analytical Psychology ,

Ne3 5or : Meridian, 6789. Pa'e 6 ;. The e##ay, 0-eneral Re ar # on the Therapeutic # accountof her hallucination#. Jun', uch ore #o than +reud, i# a3are of the healin' and creati$e a# 3ella# the de#tructi$e ele ent# in the uncon#ciou#.?

Thi# boo i# one per#on># e)perience of li$in' a drea 3hich doe# not fit ea#ily into ab#tracttheory, e$en the author># o3n. # #chizophrenic 3orld to #o e

yth or odel, no atter ho3 inade=uate, of the uncon#ciou# proce##e#. In thi# connection, t3o point# ade by %arbara are particularly intere#tin' to e. The fir#t i# her feelin' that the dra a#ta'ed by her uncon#ciou# 3a# an atte pt to #a$e her fro the unbearable, an idea that #upport#+reud># hypothe#i# that the hallucinatory @hy#tericalA echani# i# an atte pt at reco$ery, not thedi#ea#e it#elf. 4Si' und +reud, 0"n the Mechani# of Paranoia,2 in Collected Papers Volume III ,London: The o'arth Pre##, 67 8 Pa'e# BBBCB; . In fact, +reud credit# the idea of hallucination# a#atte pt# at reco$ery to Jun'># ob#er$ation# that the fli'ht of idea# and otor #tereotype# occurrin'in thi# di#order @de entia praeco) or paraphreniaA are the relic# of for er obEectCcathe)e#, clun' to3ith con$ul#i$e ener'y. %arbara place# her#elf in the dia'no#tic cate'ory of paranoia. It i# probably

ore correct to call her illne## paraphrenia , 3hich, a# +reud point# out, i# clo#e to paranoia and cande$elop fro it. The difference# are de#cribed briefly in the abo$e paper. Thi# paper i# 3orthreadin' fro another an'le, al#o. %arbara># de#cription of the 0cure2 offered by the p#ychoanaly#t#he #a3 i# =uite different fro +reud># theorie# about paraphrenia and it# aeteo#i#, 3hich hecon#ider# le## #e)ual in the nor al #en#e, ore related to early infant proble # 3hich i'ht better

be called proble # of tru#t and autono y.? %arbara># hallucination# are not, ho3e$er, the 'od# andde$il# co on to another a'e1 they are horror# of "r'anization Man1 they are reaction# to force#

bloc in' atte pt# at creati$ity in 3or and atte pt# to enEoy relation#hip# of tru#t 3ith other#.


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Tho#e 3ho are creati$e in %arbara># 3orld are i paled by the hoo and tho#e 3ho tru#t arere o$ed. +or o#t of u#, the#e proble # of creati$ity and inti acy are the difference bet3een a

eanin'ful and #ati#fyin' life a# oppo#ed to a life of =uiet: de#peration. To %arbara, they areatter# of #tayin' ali$e, and thi# i# perhap# a# 'ood a 3ay a# any to #tate #i ply the difference

bet3een the eanin' of a proble to a nor al per#on and to a #chizophrenic. # con#iderable intelli'ence and the creati$e ur'e 3hich led to her no$el and to thi# boo .

P#ycholo'y doe# not no3 uch about creati$ity. +reud analyze# Do#toe$# y a# a neurotic, but head it#: 0%efore the proble of the creati$e arti#t analy#i# u#t, ala#, lay do3n it# ar #.2 4Si' und+reud, 0Do#toe$# y and Parricide,2 in Collected Papers. Volume V , London: o'arth Pre##, 678 .?In a #i ilar 3ay, one can e)plain &illia %la e># hallucination# and hi# denunciation# of theRoyal # oo "perator#, but the u#ic of %la e># 3ord#, the for of their content, andthe fact of creati$ity, rather than #ta'nation, re ain an a3e#o e y#tery. %arbara 3rite# and #he3rite# 3ell1 creati$ity i# a therapy by 3hich %arbara tran#cend# the p#ychiatri#t#> 3or CaCday 3orldof confe##ion# and #tandardized in blot#. She i po#e# re'ularity and for o$er chao#, #ocializin'the uncon#ciou# lan'ua'e in a 3ay only the be#t therapie# e$er approach. 5et, a# I ha$e #aid, therei# a 'reat di#tance bet3een bare #ur$i$al and a #ati#fyin' life.

%arbara 'i$e# u# another idea 3hich ha# to do 3ith #o e of the o#t intere#tin' re#earch into theconnection bet3een ental illne## and phy#iolo'ical i balance. She feel# that her uncon#ciou# pre#ented her 3ith a dra a 3ith at lea#t one oral to it: 'et your adrenal 3or in', 'et an'ry or you3ill de#troy your#elf. Recent re#earch indicate# that depre##i$e p#ychotic# and #o e #chizophrenic#@indeed #o e nor alCneurotic#A 3ho react to #tre## 3ith fear #ho3 a different phy#iolo'ical patternto #tre## than do tho#e 3ho react 3ith an'er or cunnin'. +or e)a ple, tho#e 3ho fear @the an'erCin

people a# +un en#tein 4D. . +un en#tein, S. . /in' and M. (. Drolette, Mastery of tress ,!a brid'e: ar$ard *ni$er#ity Pre##, 678;.? call# the A #ecrete le## noradrenalin. Perhap# thean'erCin people fear the feelin' of an'er it#elf ore than they fear retaliation by real other#.Perhap# the reaction of fear i# a phy#iolo'ical poi#on 3hich threaten# a per#on># life. Perhap# onlya p#ycholo'ical chan'e, a 3illin'ne## to be an'ry, can #upport a phy#iolo'ical reor'anization. It i#

al#o po##ible that the fear of bein' an'ry #pread# to beco e the fear of doin' anythin' acti$e 3hich beco e# the 3i#h to cra3l into a hole. %arbara># ad da#h acro## the country #ee # to e li e afir#t #tep to3ard curati$e acti$ity a# 3ell a# the abandon ent of an en$iron ent fro 3hich her

ind ha# already fled.

If the reader #hare# y curio#ity, he or #he 3ill ha$e the 3i#h to no3 ore about %arbara. &hatdoe# #he loo li eF &hat 3a# her childhood li eF &hat i# #he doin' no3F &hat ind of peopleha$e been i portant to her, other than people in authorityF


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playfulne## and hu or i# to e %arbara># o#t i pre##i$e =uality. +aced 3ith a atter of life anddeath 3hich la#ted not for a o ent but for onth#, her uncon#ciou# produced, alon' 3ith /af aCe#=ue Eud'e# and (d3ard -. Robin#onCtype 'an'#ter#, character# li e Nic y 3ho are 3ar and

playful. Thi# boo it#elf ha# an ele ent of a olly3ood #cript, but a #cript 3hich illu#trate# an>#o#t endearin' =uality, the ability to tran#late the dan'er# 3ithin hi , the fear# about 'ood and

e$il, into an e)ternal dra a 3ith heroe# and $illain#, 3ith patho# and hu or. 4+or a di#cu##ion ofthe $alue of an># playfulne## and hi# ability to 0reflect fearle##ly on the #tran'e cu#to # andin#titution# by 3hich... @heA u#t find #elfCrealization,2 #ee (ri . (ri #on, Childhood and ociety ,

Ne3 5or : &. &. Norton and !o., 678 , particularly the chapter 0The +ear of

ar$ard *ni$er#ity

#refatory &ote

In thi# boo , an intelli'ent, ob#er$ant, and talented 3o an return# fro a 3orld of hallucinatory

character# to Eoin therapi#t# and re#earcher# in their pur#uit of the cau#e# of #chizophrenia.In her atte pt to under#tand ho3 #he #uddenly entered thi# 3orld and e er'ed after #i) onth#fro it, the author pre#ent# a #tartlin'ly clear account of our pre#ent #tate of no3led'e andi'norance about #chizophrenia. er detailed and #y#te atic report and interpretation of her illne##and reco$ery pro$ide a $aluable and rich #ource of data and hypothe#e# 3hich 3ill placere#earcher# in ental illne## in her debt.

I belie$e that not only 3ill profe##ional# re'ard thi# 3or a# an out#tandin' contribution to #tudie#on the etiolo'y, treat ent and #ociolo'y of ental illne##, but that all reader# 3ill $ie3 thi# 3or a#

brilliant literature and #ee in it the e er'ence of an arti#t.

L. J. R(5Nt uch better.

There i# an a azin' lac of accurate no3led'e a on' lay en concernin' the effect# of#chizophrenia upon it# $icti #. The o#t pre$alent current notion i# that, 3hen the ind i# #plit in#chizophrenia, the indi$idual beco e# t3o people, t3o di#tinct per#onalitie#, or e$en ultiple

per#onalitie# that the #ubcon#ciou# ind, rebellin' a'ain#t the repre##ion# i po#ed upon it, ha#declared ci$il 3ar, de#erted the con#ciou# authority1 and that in the re#ultin' #chi# , the ne3

per#onality 3hich e er'e# periodically i# co po#ed of the part# of the per#onality 3hich theindi$idual ha# con#ciou#ly, deliberately, per#i#tently repre##ed.

In infre=uent ca#e#, thi# appear# to be Eu#t 3hat doe# happen. The uncon#ciou# ha# rebelled,

a##u ed control, created the per#on it 3i#he# to be, forced the con#ciou# controller into a # all,ti'htly clo#ed bo) 3here it cannot e$en #ee 3hat i# 'oin' on, and then ta en o$er the floor of thecon#ciou# ind.

In o#t ca#e# of #chizophrenia, ho3e$er, the uncon#ciou# appear# to prefer not the techni=ue# ofthe actor, but tho#e of the director. It doe# not create a ne3 per#onality but, in#tead, #ta'e# a play.The aEor difference i# that the con#ciou# ind i# per itted to re ain, an audience of one #ittin'lonely in the theater, 3atchin' a dra a. on 3hich it cannot 3al out.

($en thou'h the circu #tance# 3hich induce or per it the uncon#ciou# ind to ri#e and ta e o$erare #till a y#tery, the fact that in #chizophrenia it ri#e# to do Eu#t that i# #tri in'ly clear.


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The fi'ure 3hich i# proEected in front of your eye# ay be 3i#py and 'ho#tli e, or nontran#parent,or e$en ulticolored. Schizophrenic# ha$e reported all $arietie#. 5ou ay ha$e a fair technician, ora 'ood technician, or a technicianCarti#t in your #ubCcellar. The $oice 3hich acco panie# the #hapei# al3ay# con$incin'ly loud and di#tinct, the $oice bu#ine## bein' apparently a =uite #i pletechnical achie$e ent for uncon#ciou# talent#. a$in' bol#tered it#elf 3ith the prop# it need#, the

uncon#ciou# then proceed# to do 3hat it ha# apparently created the prop# to effect it be'in# to'i$e you direction#.

($en in the la#t outpo#t# of #chizophrenia, your con#ciou# ind retain# certain prero'ati$e#1 behindall the prop# and trappin'# de$i#ed by the uncon#ciou# i# the uncon#ciou# realization that thecon#ciou# ind u#t be induced, caEoled, threatened into line. !learly your con#ciou# ind ha#

been de$i#ed to rule and co and, and your uncon#ciou# i# acutely a3are of the fact. In char'e, itdra3# upon e$ery bit of bu#ine## it can concoct to eep you ba boozled.

&hat #ort of direction# doc# it 'i$e youF &ell, that depend#. The uncon#ciou# i#, 3hate$er el#e iti#, the repo#itory of 3hate$er you ha$e put into it durin' your lifeti e. Stati#tic# indicate that all#ort# of people 'et #chizophrenia. 5ou ay be ale or fe ale, youn' or old, brilliant or #tupid, richor poor, #table or un#table, a 'ood 'uy or a bad 'uy, and #till 3a e up #o e ornin' to find theMan +ro Mar# at your bed#ide. Thi# i# one of the y#terie# of #chizophrenia. 5our Man ay bea azin'ly con#tructi$e in the ad$ice he 'i$e# you. "n the other hand, he ay ai you, li e anarro3, to de#troy e$erythin' and anythin', includin' your#elf, SelfCcure# are not unco on in#chizophrenia. Neither are #uicide# and urder#. There i# a terrible ind of ironic Eu#tice in#chizophrenia. &hate$er it i# you are, you are, po##ibly for the fir#t ti e in your life, at the ab#olute

ercy of.

&hat #ort of people ha$e beco e #chizophrenic#F The $ariety ha# been infinite. There i# a 'oodchance that Joan of


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proble fro y ind and replaced it 3ith another and ore intri'uin' one. They 3ere not Men+ro Mar#, but the "perator#, a 'roup in #o e 3ay# #tran'er than Martian# could be. I li#tened to3hat the "perator# had to #ay, 3ei'hed the fact# 3hich they pre#ented to e, and decided that there3a# 3i#do in follo3in' their direction#. I pac ed #o e clothe# and ounted a -reyhound bu#, a#they directed, and follo3ed the . Ridin' off in the bu#, I left #afely behind e a e## of reality

3ith 3hich I 3a# totally incapable of copin'.%ut 3hat I could not face in #anity, I had to face in in#anity. It beca e clear in ti e that the

proble pre#ented to e by the "perator# 3a# e)actly the proble I had left behind e. !au'ht upin y ne3 3orld, and 3ith the 3orld of #anity al o#t 3iped fro y ind, the re#e blance

bet3een the t3o 3orld# 3a# not apparent until after3ard #i) onth# after3ard, 3hen I 3al edinto a p#ychoanaly#t># office at the ad$ice of y $oice#, and 'a$e hi the e##a'e they had told

e to 'i$e hi . To hi# trained eye, the e$idence# of an approachin' #pontaneou# reco$ery 3ereapparent. e #3eated out a fourCday period 3aitin' for it to occur. Ju#t a# he had al o#t 'i$en uphope, aEor #y pto # 0the $oice#K abruptly di#appeared.

In #anity I had been a trained ob#er$er 3ith an e)cellent e ory, and in in#anity y abilitie# hadre ained 3ith e. Reco$ered and #ane a'ain, I 3a# able to recall e$en the # all otion#, the3hi#per#, of y de on 3hile it had #tood at the control#, I had #at placidly enou'h in y bo) #eatdurin' in#anity, rela)ed, and in a 3ay enEoyin' the play. The play had #ee ed to ha$e a purpo#eand after a fa#hion I had finally 'otten the point. %y the ti e I 3andered into the analy#t># office I

ne3, and ne3 3ell, 3hat the #core 3a#.

That I 3a# one of the luc y one# 3ho 3ent throu'h the proce##e# of #elfCcure 'i$e# the #tory of the"perator# certain $alue#. Sharp, inton, the oo "perator#, e$en the Spider a# he #calloped outthe latticeC3or , 3ere bu#y at the Eob of healin' a rift in the ental achinery. They 3ere #tran'e'an'#ter# to ha$e been en'a'ed in a con#tructi$e enterpri#e, but the uncon#ciou# 3hich de$i#edthe had #e$eral thin'# in ind, not the lea#t bein' a de#ire to hold the intere#t of the cu#to er inthe bo) #eat.

The chapter# in thi# boo 3hich deal 3ith the "perator# relate an authentic account of#chizophrenia, #hortened con#iderably, but unchan'ed. Thi# i# a #a ple of 3hat 'oe# on in a#chizophrenic ind. The chapter# 3hich deal 3ith the period i ediately follo3in' y reco$eryfro aEor #y pto # contain aterial 3hich i#, in #o e 3ay#, e$en #tran'er than thecon$er#ation# of the "perator#. So e of the#e incident#, con#idered #eparately, are #tran'e indeed.%ut con#idered a# a 'roup, they are apparent for 3hat they are. The ental achinery 3a# #till

endin', and the con#ciou# ind 3a# #till incapable of ta in' o$er the total direction of the 3holeachine. *ntil it 3a# ready, the uncon#ciou# #tepped in, a# 3a# nece##ary, to 'uide, direct, and ea#e

the 3ay. Po##ibly becau#e it# 3ilder talent# 3ere ea#ier to u#e 3hen e er'encie# aro#e, itocca#ionally u#ed #uch talent#. &hen the achine 3a# healed and the con#ciou# ind 3a# at thecontrol# a'ain, the 3eird incident# cea#ed. The con#ciou# ind had ne$er 3elco ed the , hadfre=uently been di#turbed by the , and 3a# con#iderably relie$ed 3hen they #topped.

The chapter# 3hich ha$e to do 3ith the t3o bu#ine## fir # in 3hich I 3a# e ployed ha$e beenca oufla'ed, to the be#t of y ability, 3ithout de#troyin' in any 3ay the e##ence of the e otionalen$iron ent 3ith 3hich both 3ere per eated. I ha$e no de#ire to e barra## the indi$idual# 3ith3ho I 3or ed or the co panie# 3hich e ployed e. There i#, a# a atter of fact, nothin'#tartlin' or unu#ual about the en$iron ent in either office, %oth are typical of the pre#entCday#cene.


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t no3anybody at all in thi# city. e 3rote carefully in hi# noteboo . I 3a# to co e bac to hi# office thene)t day at the #a e ti e and he 3ould co e 3ith e to the ho#pital.

I left and 3aited out#ide the buildin'. I 3aited a full fi$e inute# but neither inton nor azelca e. There hadn>t been uch point in tellin' Dr. Donner that inton and azel 3ould really

a e the deci#ion about y 'oin' to the ho#pital. They had been ar'uin' all ni'ht about ho3 yhead #hould be repaired. Their $oice# had #till been #nappin' at each other 3hen I had fallena#leep.

azel 3anted e to 'et y head repaired but #he reco ended only one ethod: co$erin' yhead 3ith #tone. Stone, #he #aid, 3ould pre$ent "perator# fro tunin' in on y ind. inton 3a#oppo#ed to #tone.


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0&hat># 3ron' 3ith #tone,2 azel had a# ed hi . 0< 'ood thic coat of #tone 3ill ean #afety.The lattice3or 3ill 'ro3 in fine and there 3on>t be any dan'er that #o e bu#ybody "perator 3illfiddle around 3ith the lattice3or 3hile it i# 'ro3in' in.2

0That># 3hat I> tal in' about,2 inton had #hot bac at her. 0I 3ant to 'et at the lattice3or 3henit># 'ro3in' in. I 3ant to a e certain that it 'ro3# in ri'ht. No #tone. It># 'ot to be board and

peephole.2Per#onally, I 3a# in fa$or of #tone. I ne3 3hat lattice3or 3a#. It 3a# the "perator#> ter forhabit pattern#. My habit pattern# had been #calloped out and they had to 'ro3 bac a'ain. t 3ant a #cre3ball li e inton #uper$i#in' the 'ro3th of y habit pattern#.

I loo ed at y 3ri#t 3atch. They al3ay# had pic ed e up a# #oon a# I left the doctor># office. I3ent bac to the hotel, opened the door to y roo and li#tened. Nothin'. I 3ent in and #at do3nand 3aited. +inally, I 3ent to bed. taround. The "perator# ne$er allo3ed e to #leep ore than #i) hour#. I had #lept fifteen hour#.

Dr. Donner 3a# in hi# office loo in' uch the #a e a# he had the day before. e doe#n>t no3, Ithou'ht. i# "perator ay no3 but he doe#n>t no3. 0They>re 'one,2 I told hi . 0The $oice#.They 3ent a3ay and they didn>t co e bac .2

The doctor># outh #a''ed and then #napped #uddenly and #tretched into a 3ide # ile, e too adeep breath and then # iled a'ain and a# ed e to #it do3n and to tell hi all about it. i# headnodded happily a# I tal ed.

0&ill they be bac F2 I a# ed.

e thre3 a nifeC#harp loo at e a# if he thou'ht I i'ht be tryin' to 3arn hi of #o ethin'.Then he #tepped in and too char'e. e hadn>t been in char'e until then. e Eu#t had been #ittin'around the #a e 3ay I had been, 3aitin' to #ee 3hat the "perator# 3ould do. e #tood up $ery talland loo ed $ery confident. 0No. No. They 3on>t be bac . 5ou 3on>t ha$e to 'o to a ho#pital. &e

3on>t ha$e to u#e #hoc therapy. 5ou>re 'oin' to be all ri'ht.2 e thre3 another #harp loo at eto #ee if I 3ere ob#er$in' ho3 confident he 3a#. e 3ent bac to hi# de# and #ho$ed paper#around and loo ed a# if he 3ere decidedly in char'e of e$erythin'.

0No ho#pital,2 he #aid $ery confidently.

No #tone, I thou'ht, no #tone.

0&e>re 'oin' to u#e p#ychoanaly#i#,2 Dr. Donner #aid.

The board and peephole, I thou'ht, and I realized that inton had 3on.

Dr. Donner #urpri#ed e. I had al3ay# i a'ined that p#ychoanaly#t# pre#ented a cal , #erenefacade to their patient#, a bul3ar a'ain#t 3hich all e otion# could brea 3ithout lea$in' a dent.

Dr. Donner 3a# i patient, #en#iti$e, Eu py. I ob#er$ed but did not ab#orb hi# i patience. Since the$oice# of the "perator# had di#appeared, I had been e pty and dry, an auto aton 3ithout e otion,al o#t 3ithout thou'ht. Peace had finally co e to e after onth# of the bedla of the "perator#,a 'abby cro3d if e$er there 3ere one, and the =uiet beach of y ind 3a# at re#t.

0Did you read fanta#y fictionF2 Dr. Donner a# ed. 0The "perator# #ound li e character# created bya 3riter of fanta#ie#.2


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My e orie# of the "perator# 3ere #harp a# icicle# but #earchin' throu'h the pa#t of #anity 3a#li e pic in' up roc #, e$ery effort de$a#tatin'. I #aid, finally, 0I u#ed to read Time. I tried to readthe E"ening Times e$ery ni'ht but I didn>t al3ay# ha$e the ti e. I didn>t ha$e the ti e, e$en, toal3ay# read Time.2 The repetition of the 3ord deli'hted e. I 3anted ore of it, 05ou i'ht #ay,2I added, 0that I didn>t ha$e the ti e to ta e ad$anta'e of the ti e.2

e tried a'ain. 05ou e)erci#ed re ar able #elfCcontrol, tra$elin' around the country the 3ay youdid for #i) onth# con#iderin' the condition you 3ere in.2

I #tifled the i pul#e to tell hi that hi# #tate ent 3a# ab#urd. I hadn>t been in control. I had beencontrolled. I #aid, becau#e I 3ondered if he had doubt# about it, 0I 3ant you to under#tand that allthe flu eyClu ey ha# #topped. I> perfectly all ri'ht no3.2 ()cept that y head 3a# #o dry and #oe pty.

05ou>$e 'otten rid of aEor #y pto #. 5ou realize that you had #chizophrenic hallucination# andthat the "perator# did not e)i#t. %y the 3ay, 3hy do you refer to your delu#ion# a# flu eyClu ey>F2

I #tared blan ly. &hy did IF

0Thin about it a o ent,2 he #aid irritably. 0Don>t #ay there i# nothin' 'oin' on in your ind.5ou #ay that $ery often. %ut there i# al3ay# ental action 'oin' on #o e3here in the ind.2

I tried to thin but the effort hurt and I re#ted. < 'entle 3a$e bro e on the dry beach of y ind:y ind i# re#tin' becau#e it need# re#t ore than it need# an analy#t at thi# point. I 3a# about to

put the 'entle 3a$e into 3ord# 3hen another 3a$e flooded #oftly o$er the #hore: it 3ould not be3i#e to #ay thi#. I #tared and 3a# #ilent.

The analy#t loo ed at hi# cloc , too out hi# noteboo , #cheduled e for another appoint ent, and3aited 3hile I laboriou#ly copied the ti e and date on a piece of paper.

I 3ent directly to the par 3here I 3a# no3 #pendin' o#t of y ti e. The par 3a# lar'e and peaceful. In it# center 3a# a la e on 3ho#e 3ater# duc #, 'ull#, ud fo3l and one lar'e #3an 3ent

about their daily routine of li$in'. I had al3ay# li ed bird# but had ne$er found uch ti e to 3atchthe . Ti e 3a# all about e no3.

The #3an 'lided acro## the la e and on it# bac 3a# a lon', blac rod. The 3o an #ittin' on the bench be#ide e leaned for3ard. 0&ill you loo at that #3an,2 #he #aid. 0There># #o e ind of#tic on it# bac .2

I loo ed carefully at the #3an. #hi# le',2 I #aid. 0Maybe it># #ore and the 3ater i# irritatin' it, or el#e the #3an i# Eu#t re#tin' it.2

She peered o$er the 3ater. 0"h, ye#, I #ee no3,2 #he #aid.

I 3a# deli'hted 3ith the 3a$e#. They 3ere #oft and 'entle and they brou'ht u#eful infor ation into

the dry e pty ca$ern of y head. I #hould ne$er ha$e no3n about the lon' blac #tic bein' a#3an># le'. I had ne$er #een a #3an before. I 3al ed to the la e for a clo#er loo .

The #3an># le' #till loo ed li e a blac #tic . I 3a# a bit dubiou# about it# bein' hi# le', but Itru#ted the 3a$e#. The 3a$e# 3ere far ore cle$er than the dry beach.

I 3atched the bird# for hour#. They help eep the "perator# a3ay, I thou'ht, < 3a$e ca#caded'ently on the beach: I u#t re e ber, not flu eyClu ey, but #chizophrenia1 not "perator#, but yuncon#ciou# ind1 e$erythin' the "perator# had #aid to e, y uncon#ciou# had #aid to y


13/96

con#ciou# ind. I 3atched the bird# and #o ethin' that 3a#n>t a 3a$e #tirred on the dry beach.o3 $ery odd, I u#ed, that y uncon#ciou# ind #hould call it#elf an "perator and call y

con#ciou# ind a Thin'.

Before the Operators Came&hene$er I thin of the oo "perator# no3, I #ee a picture of a an 3ith a hoo #tuc in hi#

bac . The hoo i# attached to a rope and the rope han'# fro a ceilin'. # head.

The oo "perator i# a a er of tool# and if he i# an e)pert toolC a er, the hoo alone 3ill #er$e

hi# purpo#e. The $icti , in hi# thra#hin' to be free of the hoo , 3ill o#t li ely cut into hi# bacthe cripplin' 'or'e the oo "perator #ee #. The oo "perator 3ait# and 3atche#. &hat a an3ill do, once he i# cau'ht on the hoo , i# al3ay# a 'a ble. There i# the chance, of cour#e, that the

an ay #=uir off the hoo , in 3hich ca#e the oo "perator 3ill o$e in 3ith hi# other3eapon#.

There i#, too, the chance that the $icti ay acco pli#h ore than the oo "perator #tri$e# forand crac hi# bac bone or, 'i$in' an une)pected t3i#t to hi# thra#hin', tear hi #elf co pletely int3o. Should brea or #chi# occur, the oo "perator a# uch a# anyone ay pau#e in di#tre##,#ur$eyin' a 3rec a'e he did not #ee and for 3hich he feel# no 'uilt. &hen he hoo #, cut#, orclea$e#, hi# obEect i# not to de#troy but to i pede and re o$e. Not per#onal ani o#ity butco petition ha# i pelled hi to u#e hi# 3eapon#. The an on the hoo 3a# not an ene y but anob#tacle. ($en had the oo "perator cut hi# co petitor># throat he 3ould ha$e cut it #ufficiently

but no ore1 had he clea$ed hi# # ull, he 3ould ha$e clea$ed it Eu#t enou'h. "f hi# 3eapon#, thehoo i# con#idered the lea#t barbaric, the one 3hich re=uire# the o#t # ill and the one for 3hich he3ill recei$e the lea#t cen#ure.

The hoo ># purpo#e i# to catch and up#et, and it 3a# de#i'ned for no other purpo#e. If the an onthe hoo recei$e# ore inEury than 3a# intended, he ob$iou#ly recei$ed it by tryin' too ob#tinatelyto re'ain hi# balance on 'round he #hould ha$e for#a en, or by lo#in' inner balance in fallin' into afrenzy he #hould ha$e had the #tren'th to a$oid. Nor 3ill the #pectator# 3atchin' on the out# irt# ofthe circle be inclined to conde n the oo "perator if tra'edy, in#tead of up#et, occur#. The hooi# the co only accepted in#tru ent of the circle 3here the oo "perator 3or #, a #tate ofaffair# 3hich #hould ha$e been clear to the $icti a# #oon a# he 3al ed into the circle.

!on#iderin' the a ount of hoo operatin' that 'oe# on in bu#ine## or'anization#, it i# #urpri#in'ho3 little under#tandin' of it e)i#t# a on' youn' people before they enter bu#ine##. My o3neducation for bu#ine## 3a# thorou'h enou'h, but I ne$er had a cour#e on 0 o3 to Reco'nize oo"peratin' &hen 5ou See It.2 ($en a #hort lecture 3ould ha$e been helpful: it 3ould ha$e brou'htinto focu# a picture for y e ory to #tore a3ay.


14/96

I 3ent to 3or for the /no) !o pany for the #a e rea#on that a 'reat any other people did./no) 3a# u#hroo in' o$erni'ht into a bi' co pany, profit# 3ere hi'h, and the rich, oily # ell of

oney hun' o$er the plant.

I 3a# ne3 to bu#ine## and I 3a# concerned, a# are a con#iderable nu ber of youn' 3o en 3henthey #tart to 3or , in di#co$erin' the an#3er to 0 o3 do I 'et into the bi' #alary cla##F2 &ith allthat oney around, and 3ith the technical bac 'round I had, there #ee ed to be a rea#onablechance that I i'ht latch on to #o e of it. # Eu#t that he concentrate# hard,2 hi# 'irl u#ed to #ay of hi . 0 e actually for'et# e$erythin'

e)cept 3hat he># doin'. Maybe that># 3hy he turn# out #o uch 3or .2I re e ber that I loo ed at the dar head that 3a# al3ay# buried in a de# blotter and thou'ht,0That># ho3 it># done. It># #i ple and #3eet. 5ou #it at your de# and eep turnin' it out. If you>re

Eu#t a little better and if you turn it out for ei'ht hour# a day in#tead of the #i) hour# a day that o#t people are 3illin' to 'i$e, you>re ade.2

The picture of hard 3or in' /en 'ettin' a bi' pro otion after only a #hort ti e 3ith /no) had theind of clear illu#trati$e =uality you #ee in the 'raph# in Eunior hi'h #chool boo #, dra3n in clear

broad line#, and painted in bri'ht lollipop color#. The picture 3a# ea#y to under#tand and, I decided,not at all difficult to follo3 throu'h on. I could #ee y#elf, 3ithin a fe3 year#, 3ith a bi' fat #alary,$acationin' in (urope and 3ritin' po#tcard# fro Pari#.

I found y#elf loo in' up fre=uently at /en># dar head and feelin' 'rateful to hi for 'ettin' e#tarted #o early on the ri'ht trac . Perhap# it 3a# becau#e I loo ed at /en #o often that I beca ea3are that #o eone el#e 3a# doin' the #a e thin', a little pa#tyCfaced fello3 3ho #at on the other#ide of the roo . i# na e 3a# -ordon and he # o ed a 'reat deal, not ner$ou#ly, but deliberatelyand #lo3ly, a# if he 3ere te#tin' and e$aluatin' each ci'arette.

So e thirty day# later, 3hen the ne3 de#i'n depart ent 3a# opened and -ordon 3a# in#talled a#depart ent ana'er, I 3a# one of any 3ho 3al ed around 3ith blan face# and rai#ed eyebro3#."ne of the 'irl#, in a hurried 3hi#per, 'a$e e a# clear an an#3er a# I 3a# able to 'et for #o eti e.

0/en #aid #o ethin' terrible about /no) Senior, It u#t ha$e been really a3ful becau#e nobody

can find out 3hat he #aid. /no) called /en in and had it out 3ith hi and /en 'ot ad and #aid/no) 3a# crazy for belie$in' #uch tra#h. "ne 3ord led to another and /en really let loo#e. e># all3a#hed up no3.2

I 3ondered, becau#e of a #ubcon#ciou# irritation rather than any obEecti$e rea#on, ho3 uch-ordon ne3 about the #tory that had reached /no) Senior and #tarted the e)plo#ion, No one 3a#'oin' to learn uch fro /en. e ept hi# head buried in hi# blotter and ept hi# bu#ine## tohi #elf. No one 3a# 'oin' to learn uch fro -ordon, either. e #at at the ana'er># de# in the


15/96

ne3 de#i'n depart ent, # o in' hi# #lo3 ci'arette#, and if he cau'ht you loo in' at hi hi# eye#3ould fi) on your face in a cold, #pideri#h #tare.

I>$e ade #o e #harp re$i#ion# in y idea# of ho3 people 'et ahead fa#t in bu#ine## #ince the day Iloo ed at /en and #a3 ho3 clear it all 3a#. The thin' you need i# a #pecial ind of # ill that /endidn>t ha$e and could ne$er ha$e de$eloped. It># the techni=ue of the oo "perator.

Many people are horrified 3hen they co e upon hoo operatin', and their fir#t reaction i#, 0That>##o ethin' I could ne$er #toop to doin'.2 %ut, actually, the rea#on that a 'reat any people don>t

beco e oo "perator# i# becau#e it># not at all ea#y to be one. They>re cle$er, the oo"perator#, and in'eniou# and re#ourceful, and they 'i$e e$ery bit: of their talent and ener'y to the

bu#ine## of hoo operatin'. To under#tand a oo "perator, it i# be#t to #tudy hi fro the fir#tclay that he #et# hi# ni ble, clo$en foot in#ide the door of an or'anization.

< oo "perator ha# a no#e for po3er, and a# #oon a# he enter# an or'anization, he follo3# hi#no#e until he co e# upon the indi$idual 3ho i# 'i$in' off the #tron'e#t odor. a$in' #potted hi ,the oo "perator feel# out the Po3er an for hi# #oft #pot until he no3# the e)act location of the#pot and it# de'ree of #oftne##.

There i# $alue in ta in' a #harp loo at thi# #oft #pot, for it# nature i# the one ele ent that a e#the career of the oo "perator po##ible. If the Po3er an doe#n>t ha$e thi# ind of #oft #pot, the

oo "perator 3ill 'et no3here, but 'enerally the oo "perator ha# little to 3orry about on thi##core. &here there i# po3er there i# u#ually the ind of #oft #pot the oo "perator i# #ee in'. The#oft #pot i# a #i ple thin', a hidden #en#e of in#ecurity. It# o3ner i# #o #harply a3are of thi# #oft#pot that he eep# it hidden in a little bo) 3here he doe#n>t ha$e to loo at it and be a3are of it.


16/96

in#ecurity, until the $icti under#tand# 3hy the Po3er an ha# thi# #en#e of inferiority andunder#tand# e)actly the real inferiority 3hich lie# under thi# touchy #en#e of inferiority. Thi#Po3er an 3ho doe#n>t appreciate hi , the $icti finally realize#, i# Eu#t a dope.

&hen the oo "perator 'et# the $icti to thi# point, he pic # up the 3eapon of 3ord# 3hich heha# #o carefully fa#hioned and dan'le# it in front of the $icti ># eye#. Thi# i# 3hat 3ould puncturethe e'o of the Po3er an, #ay#, in e##ence, the oo "perator. It ay ta e day# of not e)actly#ayin' thi# to #ay it e)actly enou'h for the 'uyConCtheC3ayCup to 'et the point. %ut e$entually the$icti realize# that the Po3er an, that unappreciati$e indi$idual 3ho thin # #o little of hi , can bereduced to a#he# by a fe3 3ord#. &hen he ha# beco e #ufficiently a''rie$ed and an'ry and ha#

been con$inced by the oo "perator that he i# 3ell Eu#tified in feelin' a''rie$ed and an'ry, the$icti thro3# hi# 3eapon at the tar'et. # #oft #pot and con$ince# the Po3er an of thi#.

The oo "perator, in thi# ca#e, #pend# hi# ti e 3or in' on the Po3er an rather than on the 'uyConCtheC3ayCup. To con$ince the Po3er an that the $icti ha# actually thro3n the 3eapon at thePo3er an># #oft #pot, the oo "perator ay ha$e to do a con#iderable a ount of 3or .

+ir#t, he ention# a # all needle of co ent and clai # that he heard the $icti thro3 it at thePo3er an and he follo3# thi# 3ith another # all needle. e 3ord# the#e little needle #tate ent#carefully #o that they #ound a# if they Eu#t i'ht ha$e been #aid by the $icti . The oo "perator3atche# their effect carefully, re$i#in' the #hape and len'th of the needle# a# nece##ary, until henotice# little thin'# 3hich tell hi that the needle# are doin' their 3or : the Po3er an># ti'htenin'of the outh 3hen he hear# the , hi# 'ro3in' irritability 3ith the $icti , hi# #udden careful =uiet#tudyin' of the $icti .

&hen enou'h needle# ha$e been thro3n and the proper effect ha# been achie$ed, the oo"perator thro3# the bi' 3eapon. Thi# ay be a # all nife, or a lar'e nife, or a broadCa). "nce itha# been thro3n and it #tic # and the Po3er an># #oft #pot bleed#, the $icti i# done for. The 'uyConCtheC3ayCup ay be an e)cellent and in$aluable e ployee but #o far a# the Po3er an i#concerned, he i# no3 only a an 3ho thre3 a 3eapon at the #oft #pot the Po3er an doe#n>t dare toloo at hi #elf, but 3hich he can feel bleedin'.

If the $icti ha# been hoo ed by thi# #econd techni=ue, he 'rope# and blunder# about, tryin' todi#co$er 3hy the 3ind ha# #uddenly chan'ed. "cca#ionally a Po3er an, #tun' into fury, la#he# outat the #uppo#ed 3eaponCthro3er and repeat# 3hat the oo "perator ha# told hi . %ut, u#ually,3hen the touchy #oft #pot i# punctured, the Po3er an cannot brin' hi #elf to do thi#. e cannottal at all about the #oft #pot but, in#tead, #3allo3# a cup of acid e$ery ti e he loo # at the $icti .Ine$itably, if the Po3er an i# hoo ed, he 'et# rid of the $icti or he u#e# hi a# a 3hippin' boy tocon#ole hi #elf for hi# punctured e'o.

It 3a# thi# #econd techni=ue 3hich -ordon had u#ed to brea /en. &hen /no), outra'ed by the#torie# he heard, accu#ed /en of di#loyalty, /en 3a# a azed, then annoyed, then an'ered. /en 3a#not a # ooth tal er and he 3a# a an 3ho ept hidden, under hi# #urface i pa##i$ene##, a hundred# all irritation#. &ithin inute# t3o an'ry en 3ere yellin' at each other and nobody, any3here,


17/96

could ha$e undone the da a'e. /en, I #uppo#e, 3a# ea#y to brea , and -ordon probably had littledifficulty in plannin' e)actly the ri'ht o$e# 3hile he # o ed hi# #lo3 ci'arette#.

The 'reat difficulty 3ith bein' a oo "perator, if you ha$e tendencie# that 3ay, i# that bein' onei# not ea#y. The techni=ue# re=uire # ill, con#iderable actin' talent, percepti$ity, careful plannin', ade$iou# type of entality, and a co plete ability to rationalize your action# to your#elf. The reallycle$er oo "perator# are =uite e)pert. They ha$e to be. It i# their li$elihood. So e3here early inthe 'a e, they beca e a3are that they 3ould ne$er 'et any3here 3ith #uch bu#ine## abilitie# a#they po##e##ed and they had totaled their re#ource# and di#co$ered that they had talent# 3hich

i'ht be #ub#tituted for the one# their Eob# re=uired, and then perfected tho#e talent# by lon' practice.

"f cour#e, e$en the cle$ere#t oo "perator# cannot 'et far if the Po3er en don>t ha$e touchye'o #oft #pot#. I #uppo#e that the /no) or'anization pre#ented a #etup that 3a# il puddin' for a

oo "perator. The /no) !o pany 3a# a fa ily or'anization, run by /no) Senior, ane)traordinarily able and #hre3d, if uneducated an, and by hi# #i) #on# 3ho 3ere, all of the ,thorou'hly educated, re ar ably dull, and =uite a3are that they 3ouldn>t ha$e ri#en hi'her than

ail cler in any other or'anization. Their a3arene## of their lac of ability 3a# the ain #oft #potin each of the /no) boy#, and the no3led'e of the accu ulati$e dullne## of hi# #i) pro'eny 3a#the old an># #oft #pot.

I re e ber that I 3a# =uite obEecti$e about the oo "perator# 3hen I fir#t learned about the ,and that I loo ed at the coldly and clearly and thou'ht, 0They>re horrible, but they>re cle$er. Iti#n>t ea#y to do 3hat they do. It ta e# # ill and talent and it># a pity #uch # ill and talent can>t beu#ed con#tructi$ely.2 It 3a#n>t until McDer ott arri$ed on the #cene that I beca e afraid of the

oo "perator#, and 3hen I beca e afraid of the , I #topped #eein' the clearly. 5ou can do anyof any thin'# 3ith fear and any of any thin'# ay happen to you a# a re#ult, 5ou ay run, or#crea , or 'et ulcer#. %ut the 3or#t thin' you can do 3ith fear i# to bury it in#ide of you in a bo)and pretend that 3hat you>re afraid of doe#n>t e)i#t. &hen I beca e afraid of McDer ott, that>#

3hat I did 3ith y fear.In the ne)t year, -ordon o$ed up fro the de#i'n depart ent. < chap na ed %o#3ell o$ed into-ordon># Eob and a ne3 an, McDer ott, 3a# hired to ta e o$er %o#3ell># Eob. The fir#t thin' Inoticed about McDer ott 3a# that he #pent a 'reat deal of ti e at the 3aterCcooler and out in thecoffee roo . I thin the 'irl# had hi #ized up at fir#t a# a har le## $ariety of 3olf, but it beca eapparent #oon enou'h that McDer ott># intere#t 3a# in 'atherin' infor ation about their bo##e#.

e #ounded e out in#tantly about Ji /no), in 3ho#e depart ent I 3or ed, and I re e ber#ayin' in#tantly that I didn>t no3 the an#3er to hi# =ue#tion. The =ue#tion 3a# har le## but I#u#pected it 3ould be follo3ed by other# and I 3anted to cut the con$er#ation before it 'ot off the'round. I tried to #ound friendly and ca#ual but I re e ber that McDer ott># face beca eab#olutely e)pre##ionle## and that he #tood loo in' at e for a lon' o ent 3ithout e$en hi#eyelid# blin in' and then he # iled a #lo3, ea#y # ile and 3ent a3ay and ne$er a# ed e anythin'a'ain.


18/96

I 3a# #uppo#ed to ha$e the confidence of Ji /no), 3ho #uper$i#ed the depart ent in 3hich I3or ed. I #uppo#e ha$in' Ji ># confidence eant, the thin'# I thou'ht it eant but it al#o eantother thin'# 3hich 3ere ore i portant and 3hich I didn>t under#tand for a lon' ti e. a$in'Ji ># confidence eant that Ji could re$eal to e ho3 little he ne3 about hi# Eob and beab#olutely certain that I 3ould ne$er re$eal hi# i'norance to anyone. It al#o eant, and thi# 3a#

e$en ore i portant, that I could #it do3n and tal to Ji and ne$er once re$eal to hi that Irealized he 3a# a bonehead 3ho didn>t ha$e a fraction of the bac 'round he needed for hi# Eob.t a #trai'ht line inhi .2 &hen you #ay thi# about: a an li e McDer ott you are applyin' to hi a #tandard of youro3n 3hich you con#ider the only acceptable #tandard. It 3a# y #tandard becau#e it 3a# the one by3hich I had been reared and conditioned and 3hich I accepted a# the only ba#i# for hu anrelation#.

%ut #tandard# are anufactured thin'#. 5ou don>t create the , you accept the .


19/96

onth. %o#3ell could ha$e ade hi# point# about -ordon># inefficiency in a oneChalf hourcon$er#ation 3ith Leonard1 -ordon 3a# far fro bein' an effecti$e or'anizer, and hi#

i# ana'e ent of the de#i'n depart ent could clearly be pro$ed, %ut %o#3ell brou'ht hi# fact# toLeonard in dribble#, carefully paddin' each fact 3ith an aura that had been e#pecially anufacturedfor a ind li e Leonard>#.

e con$inced Leonard that -ordon 3a# too cle$er to create #uch a e## Eu#t fro #heer #tupidityand that -ordon># purpo#e had been to #abota'e the co pany. t #eenhi# brotherCinCla3 in t3enty year# 3ere fact# 3hich 3ere no3n to Leonard, but Leonard had a0thin'2 about co petitor# #tealin' fro /no), and the #abota'e idea too root in hi# ind. It 3a#difficult for -ordon to pro$e that #abota'e had not been in hi# plan# and by the ti e he finally

pro$ed it, the #tupidity that had to be #tupidity becau#e it 3a#n>t anythin' el#e #tood out cry#talclear a# it probably could ne$er ha$e #tood out other3i#e. -ordon 3a# #ent bac to the 'eneraloffice and in a #urpri#e o$e that #tunned e$eryone, e#pecially %o#3ell, /no) Senior o$edMcDer ott into the de#i'n depart ent a# e)ecuti$e #uper$i#or o$er %o#3ell.

That the 'uilele## innocence u#ed by %o#3ell in hi# approach to Leonard left hi open to thecritici# that he i'ht be too 'uilele## for an i portant po#ition apparently hadn>t occurred to%o#3ell. %ut it had occurred to McDer ott. T3o year# later, Leonard re$ealed that McDer ott hadcon$inced hi that %o#3ell had de on#trated that he 3a# too innocent for hi# Eob and needed a

ore #ophi#ticated an 0li e your#elf, Leonard2 to 3atch hi . Leonard, ha$in' other thin'# on hi#ind, had decided to pa## the Eob to McDer ott. The fact 3hich #truc e a# odde#t 3a# that both

Leonard and Ji /no) could di#cu## thi# incident and di#play a co plete co and of the fact#3ithout any under#tandin' of the aneu$erin' of McDer ott and %o#3ell.

Maybe it ta e# a certain type entality e$en to reco'nize the oo "perator#. I no3 that none ofthe /no)e# #ho3ed any under#tandin' of the , but that !ar ody, the #ale# ana'er, under#toodthe $ery 3ell, and that youn' Sa Jac #on, the office boy, #a3 the #harply in focu# and hadthen pe''ed neatly and accurately in their indi$idual hole#. Maybe you ha$e to he reared in acertain type en$iron ent or be conditioned o$er a period or aybe you need a certain type ind to#ee the oo "perator# clearly, I re e ber thin in', the day that McDer ott 3a# pro oted a'ain,thi# ti e to the top ad ini#trati$e le$el a# Leonard /no)># per#onal ad$i#or, that there 3a#n>t any3ay to cope 3ith en li e McDer ott and feelin' afraid, and al#o relie$ed that I 3a#n>t inMcDer ott># 3ay. I 3a# =uite afraid of McDer ott by that ti e. The day that McDer ott hoo ed!ar ody 3a# the day that y feelin' of relief $ani#hed and I 3a# left 3ith fear.

!ar ody had been 3ith /no) for t3enty year#. e 3a# e)tre ely capable in hi# Eob a# #ale#ana'er and he had helped 'reatly to build the /no) or'anization to the po#ition it had. &e had been hearin' that McDer ott 3a# needlin' !ar ody con#tantly in the bra## eetin'#. !ar odyhad a te per and a #harp deci#i$e 3ay of tal in', and an ironChand, noCinterferenceCfro CyouC/no)e# policy in hi# depart ent that di#played clearly the conte pt he had for the /no) fa ily,

e had retained the confidence of the /no)e# for t3enty year#, de#pite hi# tactle## handlin' ofthe , for a rea#on that 3a# #o i portant: it out3ei'hed all other con#ideration#. e ade ton# of

oney for the /no) fa ily.


20/96

I #uppo#e /no) Senior had al3ay# re#ented the feelin' that !ar ody 'a$e hi of bein' a bu#ybodyin' dope, and re#ented e$en ore the fact that, he had to # ile 3hile he too it on the Ea3. I #till don>t thin old an /no) 3ould ha$e turned on !ar ody unle## he had been per#uadedfir#t that !ar ody 3a# no lon'er indi#pen#able. &hen Ji /no) #aid #o ethin' one afternoon tothe effect that: McDer ott: 3a# de$elopin' a 'reat re#pect for the talent# of Sorey Sander#on,

!ar ody># top a##i#tant, I #en#ed that McDer ott 3a# after !ar ody># #calp. Sorey 3a# no particular friend of McDer ott># but: neither 3a# he an ene y, a# !ar ody ob$iou#ly 3a#. # ind, there 3a# not an inch of #pace for an indi$idual 3ho he #a3 a# an ene y.

McDer ott #uddenly #tarted to pro ote a #ale# ca pai'n that he 3a# certain !ar ody 3ouldn>ttolerate ina# uch a# it $iolated !ar ody># pet idea# about #ale# pro'ra #. The ar'u ent bet3een!ar ody and McDer ott 3ent on until !ar ody fle3 into a te per one day, #tated flatly that he3ould re#i'n before he 3ould put McDer ott># idea# into effect, and #aid a fe3 dozen thin'# aboutthe a#ininity of old an /no) for e$en conte platin' #uch a pro'ra . < onth later Sorey tooo$er the #ale# depart ent and !ar ody left the or'anization.

%y thi# ti e I had been 3ith /no) for #e$en year#, 3a# a in' an e)cellent #alary and had a clearopportunity to recei$e an e$en ore e)cellent #alary 3ithin a #hort ti e. The#e are the thin'# 3ith3hich you hoo your#elf. I 3a# hoo ed #ufficiently to tell y#elf that if I 3al ed out of /no) I3ould only 3al into another fir 3here a #i ilar #ituation e)i#ted. I thin I 3a# fairly ri'ht ina##u in' thi# but it 3a# #till #tupid of e to #tay. %y that ti e I had built up a fear to3ard anen$iron ent 3hich I #a3 clearly and under#tood $ery 3ell. I had e)plored e$ery 'roo$e to find ane#cape fro the fear I 3a# buildin' and couldn>t find it. ad I 'one, to another fir I 3ould ha$ehad a chan'e of #cene and an opportunity to e#cape fro the terror that 3rapped it#elf around ee$ery ornin' that I 3al ed into /no). %ut I had a 'reat deal at /no) and I 3anted to hold onto it.

I 3orried o$er McDer ott #o uch that finally I had to era#e hi fro y ind and pretend thathe 3a#n>t 3hat he 3a# and that the thin'# that 3ere happenin' 3eren>t happenin'. &hen you reachthat #ta'e 3ith fear, you #tart 'ro3in' #tran'e plant# of di#tortion in your ind, The be#t

co pari#on I can thin of to illu#trate thi# ental proce## occur# in -eor'e "r3ell># #$%&. # confidence and that thi#factor 3ould ha$e ept e #tabilized for a lon' ti e. I ne$er did lo#e Ji ># confidence e)cept thatall the thin'# that Ji #tood for in the 3ay of #ecurity to e di#appeared o$erni'ht. NotMcDer ott, but another an, Litter, did a Eob on Ji , Litter u#ed the youn'e#t of the /no) boy# tohoo Ji and I no3 that I 3a# #ha en out of y dull a$oidance of 3hat 3a# 'oin' on by therealization that e$en the /no)e# 3ere 3illin' to hatchet each other.

The youn'e#t /no) 3a# the dulle#t of the lot and had the lea#t chance of 'ettin' into a plu#h Eobe$en in hi# father># or'anization. Maybe that helped hi to #ee thin'# Litter># 3ay. &hen theearth=ua e 3a# o$er, Ji 3a# 3or in' in a field Eob and the youn'e#t /no) 3a# #uper$i#in' Ji >#depart ent 3ith Litter a# hi# a##i#tant.


21/96

/no) fa ily 3a# 'one. I 3a# left in a roo 3ith Litter># #har eye# a in' hole# in e and a coldchill in y #pine.

< #hort ti e later, I left /no). I didn>t lea$e it in a 3ay I could po##ibly e$er ha$e anticipated. Ine$er bla ed anybody for the onth# that 3ere, to follo3 e)cept y#elf. Litter i'ht ha$e done a

Eob on e in ti e but he didn>t 'et the chance. I 3al ed out of /no) 3ith a hoo in y bac that3a# entirely of y o3n a in'. &hen I finally pulled it out and had a 'ood loo at it, I decidedthat nobody could ha$e #tuc it in y bac e)cept y#elf, and the only #ati#faction I 'ot 3a# that I3a# able to pull it out y#elf, and #ee clearly the #hape of it.

#art Two

The Operators

&hen I a3o e they 3ere #tandin' at the foot of y bed loo in' li e #oft fuzzy 'ho#t#. I triedfeelin' the bedclothe#. The #en#ation of feelin' 3a# #harp. I 3a# a3a e and thi# 3a# real.

The boy 3a# about t3el$e year# old, hand#o e, and 3ith a plea#ant, rela)ed # ile. The elderlyan 3a# i pre##i$e: #olid, con#er$ati$e, a reliable an 3ith builtCin rule#. The third 3a# a real

3eirdo 3ith hair three inche# too lon', blac , #trai'ht, and li p, and 3ith a body that 3a# al#o lon'and li p. The face didn>t belon' 3ith the body or the hair1 the feature# 3ere fine and #en#iti$e, thee)pre##ion, arro'ant and unbendin'.

The elderly an #uddenly cleared hi# throat. 0It i# nece##ary for the 'ood of all concerned that you'et to no3 inton better.2 e turned and loo ed at the 3eirdo.

I 3a# po#iti$e that I had ne$er #een that face before. The elderly an apparently #en#ed ythou'ht#. 05ou no3 hi 3ell,2 he #aid1 0you u#ed to no3 hi better.2

I #aid hurriedly, 0If you #ay #o, 3e u#t ha$e et. I> #orry I can>t recall Mr. inton.2 To thearro'ant face I #aid, 0 o3 are youF2 inton bo3ed hi# head a =uarter of an inch and #tared #tifflyout the 3indo3.

0I a %urt,2 #aid the elderly an. e #ee ed concerned but in a dead, re#i'ned #ort of 3ay, a an3ho had li$ed lon' 3ith order and #y#te and 3ho 3a# ha$in' difficulty adEu#tin' to the role of

a#ter of cere onie# at a holocau#t.

0


22/96

%ut I hadn>t #po en. I con#idered thi# for a o ent. +ir#t thin'# fir#t, 0&hat i# the nature of thi#e)peri entF2

inton # iled 3ryly. 0Didn>t I tell you,2 he #aid to %urt, 0that it 3ould #ay that fir#tF2

ItF

%urt continued. < 'reat "perator 3ho#e na e 3a# adley had 3anted to a e an e)peri ent ofthi# type for #o e ti e, The e)peri ent con#i#ted of #electin' a per#on li e y#elf, re$ealin' thefact# of the "perator#> 3orld to the indi$idual, and ob#er$in' the re#ult#.

< 'uinea pi' in a ca'e, I thou'ht. So uch for that. Second thin'# #econd. !ould they or couldn>tthey. 5e#, there 3a#n>t uch doubt about it. They 3ere readin' y ind. I could #ee it in the 3aytheir eye# focu#ed on y face, the e)pre##ion# on their face#, a# they 3atched e thin .

%urt e)plained: ($ery thou'ht in the ind of a per#on li e y#elf 3a# al3ay# clear to any "perator3ho i'ht be tuned in.

I con#idered thi# #ituation. &ould I, perhap#, be able to thin on #o e #ubCcellar le$el and #oreduce thi# tre endou# ad$anta'e they hadF

Nic y 'rinned broadly and %urt # iled 'ently. %urt a'ain: No thou'ht of y ind on any le$elcould e#cape the . "perator# could penetrate the ind# of Thin'# at any le$el.

Thin'#

inton #i'hed. 0Thin'#. 5e#, of cour#e. Thin of the 3ord 3ith a capital initial, if you li e. It ayhelp your e'o a bit, # Sharp,2 #aid Nic y. 0 adley># repre#entati$e,2 he told inton. inton 'runted.

Sharp loo ed li e an a iable little ferret. To be 3atched carefully, I thou'ht, Sharp loo ed at e#harply. 0Intere#tin',2 he #aid, and o$ed clo#er.


23/96

%ehind the far 3all a di#cordant hu , li e #tatic, ro#e and filled the apart ent.

0Interference,2 %urt #aid. 0I e)pected it.2

Sharp loo ed 'ri . 0I didn>t thin thi# 3ould be ea#y. Do you realize that 3e ay 'et life Eeopardyif 3e>re cau'htF That># an out#ide "perator. %loc hi off.2

inton appeared to be concentratin' on the rhyth of the #ound#. 0# e)peri ent, flooded the apart ent. I hoped that #o e of the prote#t# i'ht#ho3 concern for y 3elfare, but the prote#t 3a# narro3 in #cope and clearly defined. Infor ation3hich no Thin' #hould e$er ha$e 3a# bein' di$ul'ed to a Thin'1 the Thin' i'ht 'i$e theinfor ation to other Thin'#, thereby creatin' a hazardou# #ituation.

0I a##ure you,2 Sharp #aid loudly, 0that thi# Thin' i# $ery clo#e outhed.2 To inton he 3hi#pered,0I thou'ht you bou'ht the#e 'uy# off.2

inton #hoo hi# head. 0I 3a# 3or in' on a deal to 'et out of the city fa#t.2

0Jeopardy,2 #aid one of the council $oice#. 0Life lon' Eeopardy.2 < dozen $oice# be'an to tal atonce. In the bedla , Nic y ca e clo#er and #at on the ed'e of the bed. 0&hat you u#tunder#tand,2 he #aid to e, 0i# that Eeopardy i# a Eail #entence for an "perator. &hen an "perator i#in Eeopardy, he can>t operate at all.2 e #ounded a# if he e)pected e to under#tand and, in #o e3ay, help.

0&hat i# a city councilF2 I a# ed hi .

0The hi'he#t le'al authority for "perator# in any city. They>ll try to #top thi# e)peri ent. #

ind and he no3# in#tantly 3hether he># tuned in on an "perator or a Thin'.2

I #crutinized their #oft, 'rey, fuzzy, #hape#. 0Sure, 3e ha$e bodie#,2 Nic y #aid. 0&hat you>reloo in' at no3 are picture# of our#el$e# that 3e>re proEectin'.2


24/96

re fartoo conceited e$er to belie$e it.2

I 3a# on y #econd cup of coffee 3hen the council "perator# returned. Their $oice# #ha in' 3ithindi'nation, they handed do3n an ulti atu . Sharp and co pany had t3o hour# to clear out. re 'oin' to 'o. &ait until you ha$e t3enty "perator# fro the council in here,3or in' on your ind, tellin' you to Eu p. %elie$e e, you>ll Eu p. So far a# the council i#

concerned, you>re a on#tro#ity and a #ource of dan'er, #o ethin' that ha# to be put out of the3ay.2

I e$aluated the #hoc , horror, and an'er in the $oice# of the council "perator#, pac ed an o$erni'ht ba', 3ent do3n to the bu# depot, and bou'ht a tic et for the neare#t lar'e city.

0&e>ll be in touch 3ith you,2 Sharp told e. 0&e>ll be in a car, follo3in'.2

I 3ondered: &ould another city ha$e a council of "perator# 3ho 3ould interfere and 3ould theinterference be to y ad$anta'eF

0There are city council# e$ery3here,2 Nic y #aid #uddenly. 0There are "perator# e$ery3here.There i#n>t a #ection of the country 3here Thin'# aren>t controlled by "perator#. 5ou can>t e#cape

the if that># 3hat you>re hopin' for. %e#ide#, adley ha# your charter.2&hat 3a# a charterF 0The ri'ht to operate a Thin'. adley purcha#ed it fro your co pany.


25/96

I brooded and li#tened to inton and Sharp tal in'. Their car couldn>t be too far a3ay becau#e their$oice# 3ere co in' in clear and loud. Sleepin' and eatin' 3ere i po##ible. &hen the bu# #lid intothe depot, finally, and I 'ot off, y le'# 3obbled.

0 uic ly,2 Sharp #aid. 0Ta e out all per#onal identification and de#troy it. I don>t ha$e ti e toe)plain. There># 'reat dan'er.2

Social #ecurity card. &allet card. I tore the into # all piece# and thre3 the into a tra#h can and3aited. &hile I 3a# 3aitin', the floor of the depot #lanted up3ard.

0Loo # li e a heart attac ,2 #aid a $oice o$er y head. #'ot e 3here I can>t e#cape.

I tried to an#3er the 3o an># =ue#tion# #en#ibly, found concentratin' difficult. I had been too lon'3ithout #leep and food. &ho 3a# the Pre#ident of the *nited State#F I couldn>t recall. &hat year3a# itF Nineteen fiftyC#o ethin'. &here 3a# y ho eF Sharp># $oice ca e to y re#cue.

0Lo# t li$e in Lo# t let the 'i$e it to you. There># 'reat dan'er.2

I obEected to the hypoder ic. The attendant 'a$e e a blan loo , 3ent a3ay, and ca e bac 3ithanother attendant, a fe ale 3re#tler.

I repeated y obEection to the hypoder ic. So ethin' flared out of the eye# of the 3re#tler. ate,#harp and clear, not i#ta able for irritation or annoyance.

My ton'ue 3ent into action. Li e y eye#, it #ee ed to be 3or in' independently. I heard y#elftal in' #oftly, # oothly, rationally. My phy#ical condition, I #aid, ade it inad$i#able for e tota e #edati$e#. My phy#ician had 3arned e of thi# any ti e#. If the inEection 3a# a #edati$e,there i'ht be a phy#ical reaction. It 3ould be 3i#e, therefore, to con#ult a doctor before 'i$in' itto e.

The fir#t attendant loo ed at e blan ly and #hru''ed her #houlder#. Defeat 3a# uni portant. The3re#tler pre##ed her lip# to'ether and 'lared. Defeat 3a# not uni portant. The fir#t attendant ea#eda3ay. The 3re#tler 'lared, 'lared, 'lared, finally departed.


26/96

d ha$e a fat chance of 'ettin' into the 3o en># 3ard of the

ho#pital I 3a# in, I decided.0 e really could do it 3ith ray# fro out#ide of the buildin',2 Nic y told e. 0&e>ll try to eephi off until 3e can 'et you out of here. I hope 3e can.2

So did I. I #tayed a3a e throu'h the ni'ht 3onderin' if they 3ould. %y ornin', I 3a# #till3aitin'.

The bodie# on the bed# turned out to be an a##ort ent of 'irl#. They con're'ated in the corridor,# o in', 'ettin' li'ht# fro each other># ci'arette#. I 3a# #urpri#ed to find y o3n ci'arette# inthe poc et of y robe. The atche# had been confi#cated. The 'irl# o$ed #uddenly do3n to thelon' table# at the end of the floor and I follo3ed the . %rea fa#t. I # ipped food, dran a# anycup# of coffee a# I could 'et. I approached a 'irl 3ho 3a# #ittin' on a bench # o in', a# ed if I

i'ht li'ht y ci'arette fro her#. She loo ed up at e, bur#t into tear#, bo3ed her head and#obbed and #obbed. I re e bered #uddenly 3here I 3a#. < ental ca#e, poor 'irl. I 'ot a li'htfro #o eone el#e and ca e bac to the 3ard to find the bed# ade and an attendant #tandin'

before the defiantly. I 3ent loo in' for a #eat but the benche# 3ere filled. &ould I ha$e to #tandup all dayF

The li'ht faded and the floor ca e up #lo3ly and 'ently. %i' hand# 'rabbed y an le# and#houlder# and I 3a# hea$ed onto a bed, face do3n. I turned y head #o I could breathe and fella#leep.

0Lunch,2 Sharp 3a# hi##in' in y ear. 05ou need #o e #tren'th. (at e$erythin'.2

o3 did Sharp no3 it 3a# lunch ti eF I loo ed $a'uely do3n the floor. The 'irl# 3ere o$in'to3ard the table# a'ain and I follo3ed. No ni$e#. No for #. I ate e$erythin' I could 'et y #oup#poon around, ca e bac , lay on the bed a'ain, fell a#leep a'ain.

I ne$er drea ed #o they couldn>t be drea #. 0They>re not,2 Nic y #aid clearly. 0They>re blac Couto$ie#.2 Portrait# of the "perator#, in full color, ro#e before y eye#. I thou'ht the picture of %urt

3a# aliciou#1 he had been painted 3ith horn# on hi# head. (ach portrait hun' in front of y eye#for a fe3 o ent#1 then, an in$i#ible hand holdin' a $i#ible blac crayon cro##ed out the portrait3ith a hu'e . Loo in' at the portrait#, I fell a#leep.

I a3o e alert and curiou#ly a3are that #o ethin' 3a# about to happen. I 3atched the 'irl# but they3ere a in' no o$e ent to3ard the table#. I #at on the #ide of the bed and 3aited and the doorfle3 open and a nur#e ca e in, a card in her hand. She 3al ed to the center of the 3ard and ba3led

out y na e and I ro#e and follo3ed her do3n#tair#. The #leep had refre#hed e. I entered theoffice #he pointed to, #aid 0 o3 do you do,2 to the doctor, and #at do3n. The #hape# of inton,Sharp, and Nic y #hot up #uddenly behind the doctor># #houlder#. I i'nored the and ept y eye#on the doctor># face.

e had a #heaf of for # on hi# de# and hi# Eob, apparently, 3a# to fill the out.

Sharp and inton 3ere ar'uin'. !uriou#ly, both 3ere in fa$or of era#in' all infor ation about"perator# fro y ind. inton belie$ed that the blottin' out proce## could be#t be achie$ed by


27/96

blac Cout o$ie#. Sharp a'reed 3ith thi#. e 3a# in fa$or of y #tayin' in the ho#pital to ha$e theo$ie# ad ini#tered. inton obEected. So did Nic y.

The doctor a# ed e a =ue#tion and Sharp thre3 the an#3er at e. I repeated and the doctor 3roteit do3n.

0It# fa ily 3ould hear about it# bein' here and they>d 3orry,2 Nic y #aid.0()actly,2 inton #aid. 0The picture i# co plicated enou'h 3ithout a bunch of relati$e# on ournec #. The blac Cout o$ie# can be arran'ed any3here. The i portant thin' i# to 'et out of herefa#t.2

The doctor a# ed e another =ue#tion. Sharp 'a$e e the an#3er. I repeated it.

Sharp thou'ht that the blac Cout o$ie apparatu# in the ho#pital 3a# e)cellent. inton di#a'reed.The doctor re$ie3ed y edical hi#tory at lon' len'th. Sharp 'a$e e the an#3er#. The doctorfini#hed fillin' out the for # and e)a ined e. e tapped y nee#, #craped the #ole# of y feet,te#ted y balance, too y blood pre##ure, e)a ined y heart. Sharp 3a# obEectin' le## aboutlea$in'.

The doctor 3anted to no3 about y fa ily. &ith Sharp># a##i#tance, I anufactured ana##ort ent of people and in$ented addre##e# for the . &e di#cu##ed y faintin' #pell in the depot.Sharp 'a$e in and a'reed to lea$in'. The doctor 3rote #o ethin' on a card and told e to 'i$e it tothe nur#e in y 3ard. I did, collected y clothe#, dre##ed, and 3al ed out. inton, #till 3orryin'about the council, ad$i#ed e to 'et to another bu# depot i ediately.

It hadn>t been #o difficult e#capin', I thou'ht. %ut it 3a# ob$iou# that 3ithout Sharp y e#capecould ne$er ha$e been achie$ed.

I learned that the -reyhound %u# !o pany 3a# a fa$orite $ehicle of tran#port for "perator#.

0-reyhound i# controlled by "perator#,2 Nic y told e, 0and they police their bu#e#. None of theairline# or railroad# do and their carrier# are in an outla3 #tate. 5ou ne$er no3 3hen #o e"perator i# 'oin' to ole#t the Thin' in your cu#tody. The dri$er of a -reyhound bu# i# al3ay# an"perator, licen#ed a# an "perator cop, a Shield. If you ha$e a Thin' 3ith you, you po#t the Thin'>#charter 3ith the dri$er and he #ee# to it that no other "perator di#turb# it.2

Sharp co plained #uddenly that the bu# 3a# filled 3ith flie#. 0 not referrin' to flie#,2Sharp told e. 0I> referrin' to +lie#.2

0+ly i# #lan' for an "perator 3ho doe#n>t belon' to an or'anization a# 3e do,2 Nic y e)plained.0+lie# can be a nui#ance and #o eti e# they can be dan'erou# if they try to ole#t your Thin'. %utI don>t thin 3e ha$e to 3orry on a -reyhound bu#.2

0Li#ten,2 #aid a #tran'e $oice.0It># the dri$er,2 #aid Sharp.

0I don>t li e thi# bu#ine##,2 #aid the dri$er. 0That># ri# y, ha$in' a Thin' #it there ta in' ine$erythin' you>re #ayin'. I don>t thin y co pany 3ould care to 'o alon' 3ith that ind of

bu#ine##.2

Sharp e)plained about the e)peri ent.


28/96

05ou>re 3al in' on e''#hell#,2 the dri$er told hi . 0&hat you ou'ht to do i# 'et a bill ofre#u#citation.2

I could feel Sharp># ear# pic in' up. 0< bill of re#u#citation,2 Sharp #aid, lic in' each 3ord.0That># an idea.2

0In'eniou#,2 #aid Nic y.0I thin #o. Nic y, you #tay in. inton and I are 'oin' to ha$e a pri$ate 3ord 3ith the dri$er.2

0%ill# of re#u#citation are i##ued 3hen Thin'# need to be re$i$ed,2 Nic y told e. 0< Thin' ha# to be pretty far 'one before an "perator can 'et a bill i##ued, but Sharp ay be able to ana'e it.&ith a bill li e that in hi# poc et, Sharp 3ould be #afe 3ith o#t city council#. e>d be able to

Eu#tify the e)peri ent a# nece##ary to re$i$e a dead Thin'.2

Sharp ca e bac . 0The dri$er i# 'oin' to 3ire hi# office at the ne)t #top. e thin # 3e>ll 'et the bill. It># a 3onderful brea for u#. "peratin' under the bill># authority, 3e>ll be able to 'et to!alifornia 3ithout interference.2

# or'anization 3a# in !alifornia and the boy# 3ere 'ettin' e there a# fa#t a#they could. "b$iou#ly, !alifornia 3a# the o#t dan'erou# place I could 'o. &hen Sharp announcedlate that ni'ht that the bill of re#u#citation had been i##ued, I ade y deci#ion. &hen 3e arri$edin !hica'o, de#pite all Sharp># prote#t#, I headed #outh for Ne3 "rlean# on a train.

The +lie# on the train tuned in, cut off Sharp, inton and Nic y and i ediately be'an to play The-a e. The fir#t #tep in The -a e 3a# the #election of the #ubEect around 3hich The -a e 3ouldre$ol$e. < lar'e board appeared in front of y eye# 3ith a li#t of ite # printed on it. The fir#t ite ,I noticed, 3a# Sudden Death.

0S ip that,2 #aid one of the +lie#. 0Let># #tic to the #ubEect thi# Thin' i# concerned 3ith. 5ou ay'et hi'hly artificial re#pon#e#, other3i#e. Thi# i# a Thin' that i# forced to li#ten to "perator#. Let>#ta e "perator# a# the #ubEect.2

"ne of the +lie# 3a# appointed adEudicator and The -a e be'an. The fir#t +ly tal ed to e. Did Irealize that for the re#t of y life I 3ould be li$in' thi# ind of e)i#tence that I 3ould ne$era'ain li$e the nor al life of a Thin'F +or the re#t of y day#, I 3ould be forced to #it and li#ten tothe "perator# tal . I 3ould ha$e, not life, but "perator#> con$er#ation#.

The idea #truc e li e a blo3. I could feel y heart Eu p.

0 throu'h, any3ay,2 #aid the +ly. 0I 'ot y reaction.2

The #econd +ly ca e in. Did I ha$e any idea 3hat 3ould happen to e 3hen I reached adleyFad I #een or heard of ani al# in e)peri ental laboratorie#, cut and tortured 3hile con#ciou#, #o

that #o e doctor could ob#er$e and learnF Thi# 3ould be the #a e thin' e)cept that I 3ould be theani al.

0It># the #a e thin' ri'ht no3,2 I #hot bac at hi . 0That># 3hat you>re doin'.2


29/96

05ou didn>t 'et $ery far,2 #aid the adEudicator. 05ou>re out.2

The third +ly ca e in. Did I no3 that adley had a ca'eful of frea # in hi# laboratory, an entire bloc ful of Thin'# upon 3hich he e)peri entedF adley 3a# fa ou# fro coa#t to coa#t for hi#e)peri ent#. There 3a# a 3o an 3ho had been con$inced that #he 3a# an apo#tle of the #un and3ho thou'ht #he dined e$ery ni'ht 3ith the #un 'od. She had u#ed her delu#ion# to #tart a ne3reli'ion a on' Thin'# and had ade =uite a bit of oney out of it. I i'ht a e oney out of3hat lay ahead of e, too, but I i'ht ha$e to loo at 'orilla# cra3lin' around y roo day andni'ht.

My # in 3a# tin'lin'. The Mad Scienti#t, I thou'ht #uddenly, and lau'hed. The +ly 'runted anddeparted.

The -a e ca e to it# clo#e finally. The adEudicator announced the 3inner and the 3innin' +ly#cooped up the pot of 0point#2 to 3hich each +ly had contributed. The -a e 3a# clear enou'h.(ach +ly had dripped hi# drop of poi#on, obtained an e otional reaction fro e. The one 3hohad arou#ed in e the 'reate#t fear, I noticed, 3a# the one 3ho had 3on.

0It># not u#ually done thi# 3ay,2 one of the +lie# told e 3hile the point# 3ere bein' put up for ane3 pot. 0"rdinarily, the Thin' can>t hear u#, althou'h he 'et# the idea# 3e inEect, any3ay. %utyour ind i# 3ide open, 3hich i# 3hy you can hear u# tal .2

The -a e continued. I tried to build up an e otional ri'or a'ain#t the i pact of 3hat I heard but it3a# hour# before I ana'ed to achie$e e$en a #urface i pa##i$ene##. The -a e 3ent on and onthrou'h the ni'ht. %y the ti e the train reached Ne3 "rlean#, I 3a# ready to thro3 y#elf into ari$er. inton, Sharp, and Nic y cau'ht up 3ith e in the ba''a'e roo .

0+or your #a e and for our#,2 inton ad$i#ed e, 0#tic to bu#e#.2

0It># heart i# 'oin' li e fury,2 #aid Nic y. 0Let># 'et to a hotel, fa#t.2

$e heard, thou'ht and #een.Tho#e +lie# 3ere a pac of do'#.2

< thou'ht occurred to e. 0"$er 3hat di#tance can an "perator influence the ind of a Thin'F2

0#

battle ent.2


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If I could 'et a t3oCbloc di#tance fro all "perator#, I thou'ht, y ind 3ould ha$e peace andi'ht heal and clo#e. "b$iou#ly, the "perator# had opened y ind 3ide #o that any "perator

could tune in. &hat I needed to carry out y plan 3a# oney. If I 3ent ho e, I could dra3 out3hat oney I had in the ban and buy a # all hou#e 3ith a lot of land around it. re o$erloo in' i# that a Thin' can be influenced chiefly becau#e of it# de#ire for oney and po3er. # point# Eu#t a# a Thin'># re$ol$e# about oney. &ith #ufficient point#, an "perator cando anythin' in an "perator># 3orld. e can be a 'reat po3er. e can o3n an or'anization and buythe charter# of hundred# of Thin'#. e can be #afe fro other "perator#. o3 doe# that a e hi

ore de#picable than a Thin'F The hell of it i#, "perator# and Thin'# are oti$ated by #i ilarde#ire#. &e>re both in the #oup, "perator# and Thin'# ali e.2

If I could rent a little hou#e #o e3here, 3ith a 'reat deal of land about it, I #peculated, I i'ht beable to 'et beyond reach of the "perator#. I returned to y ho e to3n, dre3 out the oney I had inthe ban and, de#pite the boy#> 'lu prophecie#, too a bu# north. In a #par#ely inhabited #ection ofa #par#ely inhabited #tate, I 3ent loo in' for a cabin. < real e#tate a'ent i ediately brou'ht e to

a ountain cabin, told e ho3 3onderful ountain air 3a#, and left e there.0Indian#,2 inton #aid, after I had ta en a 3al around. 0My -od, actual Indian#.2 The boy#, Idi#co$ered to y di#appoint ent, 3ere #till 3ith e. I 3ondered 3here they 3ere and decided thatthey had ana'ed to find refu'e in one of the little #hac # that #urrounded y cotta'e and 3hich3ere inhabited by Spani#hC#pea in' Me)icanCIndian fa ilie#. My cabin, I had di#co$ered, 3a# notnearly #o i#olated a# it had appeared to be. %e#ide# the little #hac # 3hich 3ere co pletely hiddena on' tree#, there 3ere a dozen or #o lar'e #ize cabin# clo#e by, one of the a #tone># thro3 fro

y o3n.


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I too lon' daily 3al #, hopin' to 'et beyond the ran'e of the boy#> $oice# but the $oice# trailedafter e 3here$er I 3ent.

0Sharp i# u#in' #trobo#cope,2 Nic y told e, finally. 0&e can e)tend for a ile 3ith it.2

I 3al ed daily to the co bination po#t office, 'rocery and $ariety #tore that lay about a ile north

of y cabin to buy 'rocerie# and to chat 3ith the po#t a#ter># fa ily.0&onderful fre#h air up here,2 Nic y #aid. 0I i'ht 'ain #o e 3ei'ht. < really healthful place toli$e.2

%ut inton and Sharp battled at e con#tantly to o$e on. 0Indian#,2 inton ept #ayin', 0actualIndian#.2

I had been in the cabin about a onth 3hen I decided, pro pted by the po#t a#ter, to 3al thethree ile# to the hi'h3ay and to ta e the bu# to to3n. 0I a e the trip once a onth, y#elf,2 the

po#t a#ter @3ho, I after3ard re e bered, u#ually tra$eled 3ith a 'unA told e. 0I realize ho3luc y I a to be up in the ountain# e$ery ti e I 'et bac .2

I arri$ed in to3n early one afternoon, 3al ed around, arri$ed bac at the bu# #tation to di#co$erthat the bu# I had planned to ta e had been 0di#continued for a couple of day#,2 and that I 3ouldha$e to 3ait three hour# for the ne)t one. I 3ent for a 3al and inton ur'ed e to 'o into a dru'#tore and buy a fla#hli'ht, a re=ue#t that #ee ed ab#urd, but I finally ade the purcha#e.

%y the ti e the ne)t bu# had depo#ited e at y #top in the ountain#, I under#tood inton>#de#ire for the fla#hli'ht. Ni'ht had fallen and the threeC ile hi e before e 3a# o$er a road al o#thidden in the tree#. I #napped on the fla#h and #tarted 3al in', li#tenin' to the boy# chat, andli#tenin' al#o to the little #ound# that ca e out of the fore#t: chirp#, 'runt#, yip#, #li'ht #curryin'#,the crac of t3i'# brea in'.

I 3a# al o#t ho e and could #ee y cabin do3n at the botto of the road Eu#t beyond anothercabin 3hich hou#ed a Spani#hC#pea in' an and hi# 3ife and 3hich 3a# fronted by a #paciou#

yard in 3hich li$ed #e$en yappy do'#. The boy# 3ere di#cu##in' Indian# and the po##iblee)ploitation of the by "perator# at #o e ti e in the future, 3hen Nic y #uddenly aterialized

be#ide e, hi# plea#ant face # ilin'. It had been a 'ood 3hile #ince I had #een any of the "perator#and I 3a# #o e3hat #urpri#ed.

0 uic ,2 Nic y #aid. 0Shine your fla#h do3n on the do'#.2

If it had been Sharp or inton, I i'ht ha$e ar'ued. %ecau#e it 3a# plea#ant, ind Nic y, I rai#edy fla#h and 3a$ed it about until the li'ht fell on the do'#. They e)ploded in #hrill, yappy bar #.

0No3, =uic ly,2 #aid Nic y, 0turn around and #hine it bac on the road.2 I did and #o ethin' a# bi'a# a 'reat dane 3a# on the road, not too far behind e, it# eye# #hinin' 3ith a peculiar etallicli'ht.

0Shine it ri'ht in hi# face and o$e it up and do3n.2 I Ei''led the fla#h and the li'ht 3ent up anddo3n o$er the #hinin' eye#. The eye# 3ere turned off #uddenly and #o ethin' that loo ed a# bi' a#the bac of a bull 3ent into the fore#t.

0"n the do'# a'ain,2 #aid Nic y, 0and run.2


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I 3ent do3n the road, runnin' li e a Eac rabbit, y fla#h on the do'#. The do'#, yelpin' fiercely,3ere tryin' to tear do3n the fence. %efore I reached the , the Spani#hC#pea in' an had co e outinto the yard and 3a# #pea in' Spani#h li e an e)pre## train.

I #topped runnin', 'ot y breath, and #aid, 0I> terribly #orry.2 The Spani#hC#pea in' an 3a$edhi# head fro #ide to #ide and the do'# yelped and yelped. I 3ent bac to y cabin, thin in' of theyello3 eye#. Nic y #uddenly re inded e that I 3anted to pic #o e of the little 3hite flo3er# that're3 out#ide the cabin. I pic ed #o e and brou'ht the indoor# and put the in 3ater and li#tenedto Nic y tal about flo3er# and after a 3hile I for'ot the yello3 eye# and 3ent to bed.

The ne)t ornin' Sharp announced that it 3a# ab#olutely i perati$e that 3e o$e on and thi# ti e Nic y a'reed 3ith hi , pointin' out to e that the 3ater #upply 3a# inade=uate and I could ta eonly one bath a 3ee and 3ould probably ha$e 'er # all o$er e #hortly. inton pointed out 3rylythat if y purpo#e in #tartin' in the ountain# 3a# to e#cape the , it 3a# ob$iou# that I 3a#n>t'oin' to #ucceed.

I a'reed that there didn>t #ee to be uch point in y #tayin', and the ne)t ornin' I had anei'hbor dri$e e into to3n.

ll 'etfro it i# that it 3ill chan'e you bac to a bronco.2

I 3a# u#in' o$er thi# 3hen the boy# 'ot into a di#cu##ion about +lie#. 05ou>re 'oin' to ha$etrouble 3ith the con#tantly,2 Sharp #aid. 0($en on bu#e#. The thin' to do i# to 'et to !alifornia=uic .2

0&e i'ht 'o by 3ay of !anada,2 Nic y #u''e#ted. 0I don>t thin they per it +lie# too uchliberty up there.2

0< $ery intelli'ent #u''e#tion,2 inton #aid 3ryly, 0e#pecially a# 3e don>t ha$e licen#e# to operatein !anada.2

It 3a# enou'h for e. I ade for a telephone booth, called the airport, and deter ined 3hen thene)t plane left for !anada.

0"h, -od,2 #aid inton.

0&ell,2 Sharp #aid, 0you 3ere the one 3ho clai ed thi# Thin' had 'otten info a rut. It># ta in'three of u# Eu#t to eep up 3ith it.2 < fe3 hour# later, unacco panied by the boy#, I 3a# on a plane

bound for !anada. ad it really happened. ad I #ha en the offF

0It# head i# 3ide open,2 #aid a $oice. 0There i#n>t an inch of protection of any ind on it# head. No#hac , no board, no co$er.


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< 3ee later I 3a# con#iderably i pro$ed and I realized, a# I u#ed o$er y #tate of affair#, thatthe "perator#> -a e could be of benefit to e. The Dorraine# had been tryin' to recruit player#a on' the patient#. < on' the patient# I had already found "perator# 3ho di#li ed the Dorraine#enou'h to 3ant to 'et e a3ay fro the .

05ou>re loo#e,2 #aid one of the "perator# 3ho identified hi #elf a# a an recuperatin' fro anappendecto y. 0There are certain rule# 3hich can be enforced 3ith loo#e Thin'# in thi# #tate.&hoe$er 3in# a loo#e Thin' in The -a e obtain# the Thin' for a period of t3entyCfour hour#.&e>re 'oin' to try to 3in you and if 3e do, 3e>ll 'i$e you a re#t.2


35/96

to purcha#e e and offered t3o hundred point#. Dorraine ar'ued o$er price. In the iddle of thedi#cu##ion I fell a#leep and a3o e to hear a babble of $oice# in y ear#.

0Li#ten,2 #aid one of the $oice#. 0It># a3a e. &hether 3e a# for an adEudication here or in SaltLa e i# #o ethin' 3e can>t decide no3, any3ay. "ne thin' i# for #ure, 3e 3on>t 'et any3hereunle## 3e coach thi# Thin' #o that it no3# 3hat to do.2

# Eu#tthe ind of thin' -reyhound 3ould pull. They>$e 'ot too da n uch po3er. &e>$e been tryin' to

put a cri p in the for a lon' ti e and 3e ne$er had a better chance than 3ith thi# bill they i##uedfor you. &e>re 'oin' to ta e up your ca#e and fi'ht it for you.2

No "perator had e$er #aid anythin' ore plea#ant #ince "perator# had #tarted tal in' to e. Ie)pre##ed y appreciation and a# ed 3hat I could do to help.

05ou can do your bit 3hen the ti e co e#,2 the Lu berEac 3ent on. 0&e too a drain on you and'ot o#t of your #tory. No3 li#ten 0

The Lu berEac #, an or'anization of o$er a hundred "perator#, intended pre#entin' a petition to a

#tate council, re=ue#tin' an adEudication an "perator#> le'al trial 3here they planned to prote#tthe i##uance of the bill 3hich they con#idered dan'erou#.

!ouldn>t they al#o contend, I a# ed, that I did not need re#u#citationF

0That># ri# y,2 the Lu berEac told e. 0%ill# of re#u#citation are i##ued only 3hen a Thin' i#al o#t dead. &hether or not you reached that #ta'e i# #o ethin' 3e can>t pro$e. If 3e clai youdidn>t need re#u#citation, -reyhound ay clai you did, and the adEudicator i'ht hold up thedeci#ion for onth# 3hile he loo ed into your pa#t.2

It occurred to e that po3er and pre#ti'e 3ere i portant 3eapon# in the 3orld of "perator# andthat -reyhound i'ht be an or'anization difficult to defeat.

05ou>re #ayin' a outhful,2 #aid the Lu berEac . 0t e)pect to 3in ea#ily. &e>rea# in' for the adEudication for ne)t Sunday but 3e don>t no3 3hich #tate to re=ue#t it in. *tah#ee # be#t. In Salt La e they>re #trict about operatin' and 3e thin they 3ill put an end to that billin a hurry.2

I 3a# deli'hted.

0"f cour#e,2 the Lu berEac 3ent on, 0the Mor on# i'ht put an end to you, too. %ut that># achance you>ll ha$e to ta e.2

I could #ee that the Mor on "perator#, e$en thou'h they i'ht di#appro$e of adley>#e)peri ent, 3ould probably al#o di#appro$e of a Thin' 3ith a head full of no3led'e concernin'"perator#. I 3ei'hed the #ituation, decided that I had a dubiou# chance of re ainin' in the land ofli$in' in any ca#e, and decided to 'i$e the Lu berEac # a chance.

The -reyhound depot 3a# cro3ded 3hen 3e arri$ed in Salt La e. 0&e certainly dre3 anaudience,2 the Lu berEac #> leader told e. 0The trial i# #et for noon. !hec into a hotel and co e

bac .2

I 3a# bac in the depot at t3el$e. The adEudication opened 3ith a #peech fro the Lu berEac #>la3yer, one 3hich # etched in the bac 'round of the ca#e and 3hich de$eloped the follo3in'


36/96

ar'u ent: If thi# e)peri ent 3ere per itted, no other #i ilar e)peri ent could be refu#ed1 #houlda #ufficient nu ber of Thin'# be per itted to obtain #i ilar infor ation, the 3orld i'ht #oon befilled 3ith Thin'# 3ho#e no3led'e 3ould endan'er the $ery ba#i# of the 3orld of "perator# andThin'#.

I 3a# unea#y. *ndoubtedly, the Lu berEac attorney># attac 3a# #ureCfire, but it ruined ychance# of #ur$i$al a# #urely a# if he had 3ritten a death 3arrant for e.-reyhound># attorney ade a poor #ho3in'. &hen the re=ue#t for a bill of re#u#citation had been

ade, he #aid, the fact# of the e)peri ent had not been ade clear. -reyhound had 'ranted it# bill belie$in' that a uch ore innocent e)peri ent had been intended. I dreaded the adEudicator>#=ue#tion, 0 o3 uch ha# thi# Thin' already learned about "perator#F2 the an#3er to 3hich i'ht3ell #eal y fate. %ut the =ue#tion ne$er aterialized.

0They>re drainin' you all the ti e,2 one of the Lu berEac # hi##ed into y ear. 0Sit bac andrela). ($erythin' i# 3onderful.2

The Lu berEac ># la3yer follo3ed -reyhound># #tate ent 3ith a 3itherin' co ent on the bu#co pany># inefficient and #lip#hod ethod of 'rantin' bill#, and re=ue#ted that the co pany bedepri$ed of it# pri$ile'e of 'rantin' any type of docu ent until an official in$e#ti'ation had been

ade into their practice#. %efore he had fini#hed hi# #peech I 3a# 3onderin' if I 3ouldn>t be inore dan'er fro -reyhound, before the adEudication 3a# o$er, than I 3ould be fro the

adEudicator.

cloc , the adEudication 3a# rece##ed until the follo3in' ornin' and I returned to thehotel. The Lu berEac # ordered a ca#e of Scotch to celebrate and beca e uproariou#ly drun . leader and an a##i#tant na ed %o#t acco panied e. I fle3 to San+ranci#co and too a bu# @not -reyhoundA to the city 3hich had been identified a# the location of

adley># or'anization, and chec ed into a hotel 3hile the Lu berEac # contacted adley>#or'anization.

# $oice Eoined tho#e of the Lu berEac #. e 3a# #tartled at the cour#e3hich e$ent# had ta en and hu#tled a3ay to report to adley. %o#t al#o hurried off to file a petitionfor a ne3 adEudication.


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Nic y returned =uic ly. 0So lon' a# you>re 'oin' to #tay here for a 3hile,2 he #aid, 0you i'ht a#3ell rent a furni#hed apart ent.2 Thi# #ee ed #en#ible and I 3al ed do3n the bloc he indicatedand turned into a buildin' 3hich ad$erti#ed furni#hed apart ent#. No #ooner had I o$ed in than Idi#co$ered I 3a# only a fe3 #tep# fro the buildin' in 3hich adley># or'anization 3a# located,and that the #treet I 3a# on hou#ed adley># frea collection. "nly the a##urance# of the

Lu berEac # pre$ented e fro o$in' out a fe3 inute# after I o$ed in.The "perator# fro adley># or'anization tuned in, and eetin' the too o#t of the afternoon.+indin' the #urpri#in'ly 'ood natured, I rela)ed con#iderably, and before the day 3a# o$er I 3a#tal in' to the freely. Sharp and inton, I learned, 3ere out of to3n on or'anization bu#ine## andthe 'reat adley 3a# hidin' fro the !alifornia #tate council 3hich 3a# threatenin' hi 3ith

Eeopardy becau#e of hi# frea collection.

The #ituation, on the 3hole, 3a# pro i#in'. The ne)t day I recei$ed additional 'ood ne3#. adley,#entenced to Eeopardy for a year, had fled and the or'anization 3a# te porarily under theleader#hip of The Duc , an ea#y 'oin' "perator 3ith a #en#e of hu or and a 'enerally beni'nattitude to3ard Thin'#.

The "perator# in adley># or'anization, I learned, 3ere no3n locally a# The &e#tern %oy# and3ere held in con#iderable fear by other local "perator#. De#pite their reputation, I found The&e#tern %oy# li able. They buzzed in and out, =ue#tioned e at 'reat len'th concernin' yreaction# to the 3orld of "perator# and appeared to be a u#ed at y re#pon#e#.

"ne of the , an "perator na ed &in le, na ed e Thi# "ne. 0!o e in and li#ten to Thi# "ne,2he>d #ay, 3hene$er he 'ot e into a di#cu##ion. 0It># #oundin' off a'ain.2 It 3a# &in le 3hodecided that y attitude 3a# the re#ult of y bein' a natural bronco. 0< hor#e 3ould 3orry it#elf#ic ,2 he #aid. 0%ronco# ne$er do. -i$e a bronco #o ethin' it #hould 3orry about and in#tead it

ic # you in the teeth.2

0Not entirely,2 Nic y told hi . 0Thi# "ne 3a# a natural bronco and it># 'radually 'ettin' bac to

it# ori'inal per#onality. %ut, al#o, there># been an anchor in Thi# "ne e$er #ince the e)peri ent#tarted.2 To e, he e)plained, 0ll tryto eep an eye on you. I>ll drop in 3hene$er I can and #ee ho3 you>re doin'.2 er $oice fadeda3ay. I fell a#leep, co parati$ely #erene.

%efore the 3ee 3a# o$er, an "perator na ed !ra e purcha#ed The &e#tern %oy# fro adley.0 e># a ba#tard,2 one of the "perator# told e, 0but 3e>ll protect you a# uch a# 3e can.2

!ra e tuned in early one ornin' 3hen I 3a# eatin' brea fa#t. e al#o proEected a picture ofhi #elf, a #o e3hat rec le## action, I thou'ht, ina# uch a# he 3a# li$in' a fe3 door# a3ay.ProEectin' the picture, I decided, 3a# a #care tactic. e 3a# a ountain of a an 3ith a #=uare,cruel face. I eyed hi 3ith the #a e fi#hyCeyed detach ent 3ith 3hich he eyed e.


38/96

0It># a da ned incon$enience,2 he roared, and it 3a# a o ent before I realized that the 0it2 he3a# referrin' to 3a# y#elf. i# openin' 'a bit confu#ed e o entarily but I 'athered y 3it#to'ether and re inded hi that the #a e fate 3hich had o$erco e the 'reat adley i'ht al#oa3ait hi .

0It># too da ned i pertinent,2 he bello3ed. 0Du etize it.2 i# picture and $oice abruptlydi#appeared.0I enEoyed li#tenin' to you tellin' hi off,2 an "perator na ed &i p told e. 0I>d li e to do it

y#elf. %ut you>d ha$e done better if you had ept your outh #hut. Du etizin' 3on>t do youany 'ood.2

Nic y #ee ed heartbro en. 0I #uppo#e 3e ha$e to do it, but I don>t 3ant to. ea$en no3# ho3you>ll turn out 3hen you>re du etized.2

I 3a# apprehen#i$e. &hat 3a# du etizin'F

0It># a proce## by 3hich o#t of a Thin'># lattice3or i# re o$ed and ne3 lattice3or i# allo3edto 'ro3 in,2 Nic y told e. 0Lattice3or i# the 'ro3th in your ind 3hich #tore# your habit

pattern#. It># called lattice3or becau#e it loo # #o ethin' li e the 3ooden lattice# they u#e to#upport ro#e bu#he#. "nce lattice3or i# re o$ed, ne3 lattice3or 3ill 'ro3 in =uic ly, but it ay be a $ery different ind of 'ro3th. The ind of habit# you>ll de$elop 3ill depend on the "perator#3or in' on you 3hile it># 'ro3in' in.2

&i p a'reed. 0&ith the cre3 3e>$e 'ot in thi# outfit, you ay turn out to be =uite a id and thena'ain you ay turn out a# nutty a# a fruitca e.2

0Let># ta e out only a $ery # all #ection of lattice3or ,2 an "perator na ed Rin #u''e#ted.0!ra e ay be #ati#fied.2

&i p had the be#t #u''e#tion. 0-et The Duc .2

The Duc 3a# deli'hted 3ith the #tory of y inter$ie3 3ith !ra e. 0I li e Thi# "ne a# it i#,2 he#aid. 0Lea$e it# lattice3or alone. I>ll tal !ra e out of the du etizin' idea.2

Nic y 3a# 'reatly relie$ed. 0!ra e i'ht e$en ha$e decided to a e a co plete du y out ofyou,2 he told e, 0and that 3ould ha$e been a headache for u#. To a e a co plete du y, youha$e to re o$e all the lattice3or and continue to #crape a3ay ne3 'ro3th a# fa#t a# it 'ro3# in. # no lattice3or to interfere 3ith therecei$in' of the #ti uli. In certain #ituation#, a du y can be =uite an a##et to a cle$er "perator.It># #o ethin' li e ha$in' a puppet on a #trin'.2

I 3a# #till unea#y. If #o e "perator #tarted to du etize e, 3ould I be a3are of 3hat 3a#happenin'F


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0No,2 Nic y told e. 0Scallopin' out lattice3or i# painle##. "f cour#e, an "perator 3ho in#pectedyour head after3ard could #ee that you had been #calloped. 5ou>d realize that #o ethin' hadhappened to you, too. 5ou>d be pretty fo''y. %ut don>t 3orry. The Duc 3ill protect you.2

&hen I a3o e the ne)t day, I 3a# con#ciou# of a #harp pain in the bac of y nec . Po#iti$e that I3a# bein' #calloped, I called frantically for Nic y and The Duc . %oth tuned in in#tantly.

0Nobody># doin' anythin' to you,2 Nic y #aid. 0I thin you>$e 'ot a rheu atic pain of #o e ind.Maybe you #hould in$e#t in a heatin' pad.2

0"r a bottle of Scotch,2 #aid The Duc .

< inute after their $oice# drifted a3ay, -rand a 3a# 3hi#perin' into y ear. 0They>re idiot#,2#he #aid. 05ou 3ant to 'o to a doctor. There># #o ethin' definitely 3ron' 3ith your nec .2

I located a doctor early in the afternoon. &i p ca e 3ith e and told e that the doctor 3a# an"perator. 0&hat># ore,2 &i p #aid, 0he># =uite an i portant "perator 3ith a 'reat deal of po3er.

e ay do you a lot of 'ood.2

I 3a# #urpri#ed to find the doctor plea#ant and cheerful. e dia'no#ed y ail ent a# an infecteda#toid. 0It># a 'ood thin' you cau'ht it in ti e,2 he told e. 0# protecti$e and #y pathetic bu#ybodyin'.

The &e#tern %oy# left e alone fre=uently and #o e of the "perator# in the buildin' ade

operators and things the inner life of a schizophrenic

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