NinewaystoteachresiliencethroughFamilyHistory

Yourfamily’suniquestorycanhelpyourlovedonessucceed!

#1–TheFamilyTreeWhetheryouwanttoprepareachildforafamilyreunion,orintroducehimtodistantordeceasedrelatives,thefamilytreeisagoodplacetostart,forages5andup.Startwithasmallbranchofthechild’sfamily,withnamesorpicturesofhisimmediatefamily.Whenthechildcancorrectlyplacehisownfamilymembers,it’stimetoask“WhatwouldMommy’streelooklike?”TermslikeAunt,Uncle,andCousinbegintomakesenseinthiscontext.Placethesenamesorpicturesonanactualtreebranch,orcreateanartproject.Alwaysstartfromthechildatfirst.Olderchildren

canstartfromaparentorgrandparent.Unlikerealtrees,familytreesexpandinmultipledirections,soyoumayneedtodefinethefocuseachtime.Startwithoneperson,andmoveupordownfromthere.

#2–GamesChildrenarenaturallyplayful,sogamesandpuzzlesareagreatwaytoteach.Again,beginwiththechild’simmediatefamily.Createacardforeachfamilymember.Atfirst,3X5”cardsorphotographswillwork,butasthegamegrows,youwillwanttousesmallercards.Businesscardsworkwellforthis.Atthetopofeachcard,puttheperson’snameandbirthdate.Inthemiddleofthecard,their

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spouse’snameandweddingdate.Atthebottomofthecard,listtheperson’sparents,anddateofdeath(ifdeceased).Atfirst,youcanputthecardstogetherasatree,graduallyexpandingthedecktointroducenewcharacters.Youcanalsoplayagamewiththedeck,buildinglimbsbyfindingsiblings(peoplewiththesameparents),andconnectinggenerationstogether.Gotabigfamily?Youcaneasilyorderbusinesscardscustom-designedforyourdeck,ororderpre-madedecksof100fromhttp://www.philipfosterfarm.com/pffwp/country-store/Asnewpeoplejoinyourfamilythroughmarriageorbirth,addanewcardtothedeck.Nowyourfamilyknowswheretofindtheseimportantbitsoffamilydata,andhowtheyrelatetothefamily.Enhancethedeckbyaddingpicturestothebackofeachcard,oruseyourdigitalskillstoprintoutcardswithpicturesincluded.Youcanalsocreatepuzzlesofthosebigfamilygatheringpictures.Doingthepuzzletogetherisagreatwaytoreview

thenamesandfacesandtalkaboutchangesinthefamily.

#3–FamilyRecipesChildrenlovefood.Theylovetoeatit,andmakeit,andplaywithit.Theywanttoknowwhereitcomesfrom,andhowittiesthemtotheirfamily.Whetheryoucollectyourfamilyrecipesinabox,oranotebook,orafancycookbook,makesureyoutellthestoriesthatgowiththoserecipes.Writethemdownandkeepthemwiththerecipes,sotheyaren’tforgotten.Foodisthefirstexpressionoflovemostkidsunderstand,sofamilyrecipesandcelebratorytreatsareanaturalwaytoconnectthemtotheirrelatives.Arecipefileorbookiseasytocompile,andcanincludepicturesaswellasrecipes,toconnectfamilyflavorswiththerelativeswhocook(oreat)them.

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Andofcourse,childrenlovetocook,somakesureyoutakethetimetocookyourfavoriteswiththem.Inanageofrestaurants,microwaves,anddrive-thrus,it’shardforchildrentocomprehendhowmuchofafamily’stimewasconsumedwithcookingandcleaningforpreviousgenerations.

#4–FamilyJokesAuntAlicewasalargewomanwithanexuberantpersonality.Ididn’tseeherveryoften,andshediedwhenIwasprettyyoung,butIwillneverforgetthejokeshetoldaboutSaintPeter.EverytimeanyonementionedAuntAlice,theywouldreferencethepunchlineofthatjoke,andeveryonewouldcrackuplaughing.Herjoiedevivrewassummedupinthatpunchline,andwelovedherforit.

#5–SongsWhenchildrenarelittle,it’seasytopassalongthechildhoodsongsandrhymes,butdon’tforgettosharethefavoritesongsoftheerasyouhavelivedthrough.Someofthosesongsweregreat,andsomeofthemwerehorrid,buttheyallbecameapartofyourworld.Sharethatworld!

#6–DollsCustomizeddollscanbeveryexpensive,butitdoesn’ttakeafortunetocreateasetofpaperdollstocelebrateyourfamily.Inthepictureabove,MargaretMorse(whodiedattheageof107)andhergreat-granddaughterElizabethcannot

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onlyplaytogether,butcanshareoutfits,andreenactthestoriesthatgowiththem.

Anddon’tforgetthespecialoutfits!Weddings,proms,concerts,andgraduationshavetheirownclothesandtheirownmemories.#7–TelltheStoriesMygrandfatherlovedtotellstories–overandoveragain.AuntsandUncleswouldtrytostophim,buthestillinsistedontellingthestory,andIwasglad.Theymayhavehearditathousandtimes,butIdidn’tknowityet.HehadexcitingstoriesaboutloggingintheforestsofIdaho,andhomesteadinghighinthemountains,andgettingrabiesshotsinahospitalfarfromhome.Thesewerehisstoriesto

tell,andbecausehetoldthemtome,theybecamemystoriestoshare.Mygrandchildrenwillnevermeethim,buttheywillhearthestories,andtheywilllearnalotaboutwhotheyareandwhattheycanaccomplishbyhearingabouthisexploits.Giveyourlovedonesthatsamegritthroughthestoriesonlyyoucanshare.#8–VisitthePlacesEveniftheterrainisdifferentnow,thereisnothinglikeseeingthelocationswherethosefamilystoriestookplace.Childrenimaginethateveryneighborhoodlooksliketheirsuntiltheyactuallyvisitanewplaceandseepeoplelivingthere.Travelingwithchildrenisauniquechallenge,butwithoutthatexperience,theirviewoftheworldwillbemorescreen-basedthanreality-based.Evenifyoucan’ttakethemtoseewhereyoulived,youcangetoutthemaps.Talkabouthowandwhyyoumovedfromplacetoplace.Whatweretheeconomicfactorsthatdroveyourfamily’smigrations?Wasyourfamilyunique,orwasitpartofalargermovement?Whatworld

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eventsmadethetransitionnecessaryordifficult?ThankstoinnovationslikeGoogleEarth,youcantakeavirtualtriptothoseoldhaunts,andthankstowebsiteslikeWhatWasThere.com,youcanseepictures(andaddyourownphotographs)ofhowthoseplacesusedtolook.

Aspartofyourfamilydiscovery,makesuretocheckoutthemanyhistoricsitesthatinterpretlifeinvariouseras.PlaceslikeConnerPrairie,SturbridgeVillage,andPhilipFosterFarmaredesignedtogivekidsthe“realfeel”forlifeinalesstechnologicallysaturatedculture.TheseorganizationskeepthestoriesaliveforALLofourfamilies.

#9–MeetthePeopleWhateverhappenedtothatcousinwhomovedawaytojointheFBI?WherearetherelativeswhostayedinSwitzerlandbackintheearly1900’s?AreyourcousinsFrenchfryfarmers,ornoodlefarmers,orcattleranchers?Dotheycommuteviatrainorhorseback?Wheredotheyworship?Whatinstrumentsdotheyplay?Theanswerstotheseandmanyotherquestionswillopendoorstothepossibilitiesoflifeasapartofyourfamily.WithtoolslikeSkypeandFacebook,thisdoesn’thavetobeabigexpensivetrip,butbuildingafewoftheserelationshipscouldbethecatalystforsomeamazingtravel!Theyneedyourperspective!Itisn’teasytofindthetime,butkidstodayaremoreisolatedandconfusedthanever.Givethemtherootsonlyyouhavetoshare,andteachthemthatpatience,grit,andteamworkarethekeystotheirsuccess.Goodluck!I’mrootingforyou.-ElaineButlerEducationalDirector,PhilipFosterFarm