Night Fever Night Fever

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<ul><li><p> night fever </p><p>night fever </p><p>night fever! night fever. </p></li><li><p>Calpurnia Cooper(500BC-2018) was born and fed in Prebbleton, New Zealand. She quickly abandoned her family to write some of the greatest Russian novels of this century. None of her major works were writ-ten during her lifetime. She is described as queasy to get along with and currently resides in Hope Bros under a table. </p><p>Stumpy Lamb people have described her as a city that always sleeps. She loves to travel and hang out with her cat, but she prefers her cat travelling if shes being totally honest. Who? - Her mother Oh her, yeah shes alright. - Her mother I only travel to get away if Im being totally honest - Her cat </p><p>About the editors: </p></li><li><p> night fever </p><p>night fever </p><p>Wise words for this weeks episode: </p><p>Fool me once, </p><p>shame on you, </p><p>fool me twice, </p><p>shame on me, </p><p>fool me three times, </p><p>MAGIC </p><p>CONTENTS </p><p>Saturday Sance..1 </p><p>Investigative Journalism.2 </p><p>Art Review...3 </p><p>Fashion.5 </p><p>Feature ArticleWellingtons Number One Drinking Fountain...7 </p><p>Horoscopes10 </p><p>Whos Your Dead Boyfriend? Quiz74 </p><p>Fine Dining.whatever </p><p>Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat </p><p> 1 2 3 4 </p><p>5 6 7 8 9 10 11 </p><p>12 13 14 15 16 17 18 </p><p>19 20 21 22 23 24 25 </p><p>26 27 28 29 30 31 </p><p>EventsOctober 2014 </p><p>Whats happening this month at night fever </p><p>night fever? </p><p>Not much! </p><p>For complaints, enquiries, proposals, beauty tips, thoughts email us at </p><p> </p><p>(nightfevernightfever was already taken) :-( </p></li><li><p>On a dark and stormy and pumping Saturday night, two curious young women who had attempted to set up a book club with Lady Chatterlys Lover as the first on the reading list decided that a sance with the author, D.H Herby Lawrence, would be a great way of gaining even more literary insight. (They didnt even finish the book.) </p><p>S: Do you have candles </p><p>C: What? </p><p>C: No </p><p>S: You dont have candles? </p><p>C: What </p><p>C: Oh I thought you said jandals </p><p>S and C: [laughs] </p><p>C: My roommate probably does, I will have a look [goes </p><p>through roommates property] </p><p>S: [laughs] </p><p> 1 hour later: </p><p>S: [still laughing] </p><p>S and C set up appropriate sance paraphernalia in an amateur, unsure fashion, regretting that C does not have internet and they cant google things </p><p>C: D.H. Lawrence, would you like to </p><p>speak to us? </p><p>[outside wind howls and squeaks] </p><p>D.H: No [laughs] </p><p>S and C drink cheap wine and make up an encounter with the spirit of </p><p>D.H Lawrence </p><p>S: Whats your view on the current Crimean crisis? [S and C laugh, Herby called orgasms crises in his books </p><p>D: I think it will have implications for the relationships between sons </p><p>and mothers </p><p>S: What? </p><p>D.H: What? Nothing. </p><p>C: Who would rather, Shakira or </p><p>Beyonce? </p><p>D.H: Which one of you is Shakira and which one is Beyonce I was-nt listening when you introduced yourselves </p><p>S and C: [laughs] </p><p>D.H: Im not really interested in either to be honest, is there an-</p><p>other option </p><p>S and C: [stop laughing] </p><p>S: Biggest regret? </p><p>D.H: Mainly writing books, but I also regret not living to the 80s, the hairstyles would have suited me. Also my wife. Actually just </p><p>my wife. </p><p>C: Why? </p><p>D.H: My hair had lots of volume, it deflated after we got am-arried which would have ruined </p><p>me in the 80s </p><p>S: Whats the afterlife like Mr Lawrence? </p><p>D.H : Please, call me D. Herb or </p><p>Herby. </p><p>S and C laugh. </p><p>D.H : Um yeah the afterlife is all </p><p>good, dont worry about it guys. </p><p>C and S feel a great sense of relief as the fear of death is </p><p>lifted from their shoulders </p><p>D.H : Unless you listen to Taylor Swift, not Ironically, then its a bad bad time. </p><p>The house shudders as outside the wind howls, sounding not too </p><p>unlike a Taylor Swift song. </p><p>C: I think we all learnt something </p><p>today. </p><p>Saturday Sance w/ d.h. lawrence </p><p>Do you think Herby had good hair? Email us your thoughts at </p><p> ! </p></li><li><p> night fever </p><p>night fever </p><p>Wind. Its worse than checking your bank balance. </p><p>When I was an ankle biter (gross. nostal-gia) I was convinced that the wind was ghosts. A cold, chilling invisible force that terrorises your hair, skirts, and ice cream, making you ramp up your lick rate to stay in equilibrium with the demonic force rush-ing past you. You cant see it, but it makes you shiver and go all goosebumpy. It makes things bang in the night. Occasion-ally it howls in an unearthly manner. It is uncannily like your classic spirit of the dead, tormenting the blind, ignorant living for all of eternity. Was I a child genius? Did my innocent eyes see winds true, mali-</p><p>cious nature? Probs. </p><p>Wind allegedly is an essential cog of the large scale cycle that makes up Life. Its lawyers claim it does important, life cy-clely things like scatter pollen, which makes forests, flowers and shrubberies grow, it wears down rocks, like a middle class job, until they are unrecognisable shapes often cynical and looking forward to death. It sometimes cleans the deck for you. Ok, yes, wind does do those things, but scattering pollen? That could be done by introducing a social obligation in which everyone in the world picks up a flower and shakes it ten meters away from where they got it from. Easy solutions. Re shaping earth geological features? Everyone just </p><p>take cue from the bible and marry a geologi-cal feature then wear down with your own bitter resentment, a natural bi-product of being in the same vicinity with the same person for too long ( see families.) I also will report to the mothers of the world, that the winds so called cleaning actually just consists of it moving and hiding things in a spot not immediately obvious to the eye. Yes, the wind is your teenage son of </p><p>cleaning. </p><p>God I hate it. If you cant already tell, I left the house this morning, dressed for the day that my stupid eyes had prepared me for. Fluffy white clouds, crayon blue sky, gleaming patches of sunlight that would make a third rate vampire twinkle. Yet as soon as I leave the house, I real-ize I have made a terrible mistake, one that I am probably doomed to repeat all summer. It is as cold as fuck, the wind is whipping around me, bringing with it supernatural chill and a rise in my blood pressure. I had promised my body glorious warmth and instead we will soak in ice tinted wind. And I hate disappointing my body , I already let it down in so many ways, it seems the least I could do for the slightly over-</p><p>weight, toxin filled thing, is keep it warm. </p><p>Some people, like my mother and everybody elses mother, might say something along the lines of Take a jacket, dick head. No! The way the weather works is it freezes you as solid as Walt Disney, but the second you de-clare war on it with a last seasons jacket , the dumb old sun makes you too hot. </p><p>Some people might suggest that living in a city , regarded as one of the windiest cities in the world, is a poor idea, and perhaps I should leave. Again , No! You cant run a way from your problems. Your problems are Usain Bolt , you are you! They will catch you up and break sprint records! Have you never watched any day time telly? Turn and face those problems, </p><p>head on, like a man with groomed facial hair! </p><p>Solution: If you cant beat them , join them. Kill yourself and become a ghost / wind!. </p><p>Investigative Journalism - Wind Woes </p></li><li><p>In review: City Art Gallery </p><p>Hailed as the cornerstone of Wellingtons art scene, the City Gallery this week debuted an-other critically acclaimed exhib-it. We sent our team of art ex-</p><p>perts down to check it out: </p><p>Immediately upon entry, an artist approached us and re-quested that we surrender our backpacks and coatswe were shocked! Although we were prepared for controver-sial avant-garde pieces, to be confronted so early on threw us </p><p>off! Upon debaggaging our items, I felt my own personal baggage lightening which I found worrying and alarming. We left the piece with bewil-dered looks towards the artist, whose face remained an unex-pressionless thank you. What an </p><p>actor! </p><p>The second piece we came across, Untitled, appeared to be an interactive installation. We were unsure as to the na-ture of the interaction itself, until we observed another par-ty of viewers. It seems that you are meant to become part of the installation by placing your </p><p>rear on the top of the object, and let it support your weight, or sit as we were told by the helpful gallery guide. We proceeded to sit, but we still didnt get it. </p><p>After this disappointing piece, we made our way to the next in the exhibit, yet another Un-titled piece. We believe the piece was a kinetic sculpture of some sort, about the size of a large cat. There were under-lying tones of industryperhaps a critique of neo-capitalism, but the overpower-ing theme was that of the fick-le nature of humankind, ex-pressed through a series of blinking lights and occasional, </p><p>very quiet, whoosh noises. </p><p>Mentally tired from the crea-tive demands the pieces, we decided to conclude our trip to the City Gallery. We were surprised to find that our jour-</p><p>ney was not as over as we had thought! Before leaving, the first artist that had approached us, approached us once again and asked us if we would like our bags and coats back. Wow! We could not believe it! A com-plete reversal of the original performance piece! How de-lightfully unexpected! We looked at each other in awe, and congratulated the artist many times over as she pro-ceeded to hand to us first our coats, and then our bags. She remained completely modestslightly confused even, at the praise we were giving her, as if she was unaware at her high </p><p>artistic merit. </p><p>So if modesty and masterpiec-es are what you are looking forthe City Art Gallery is the place for you. </p></li><li><p> night fever </p><p>night fever </p></li><li><p>FASHION (beep beep) </p></li><li><p> night fever </p><p>night fever </p><p>Yeowch! Mamma mia! Ravioli Ravioli give me the formioli! We just cant get enough of blogger/student/dairy product enthusiast Charlottes evening look. </p><p>I just love being able to express my spirituality through my clothes. When Im not blog-ging, I love going to my favourite hidden Wellington clothes stores, Recycle Boutique and </p><p>Kmart. </p><p>Recycle offers sub-standard tacky clothing at obscene prices, which is great for people like myself who are after that sense of expensive homelessness. And Kmart, well its </p><p>Kmart! But shh! Dont tell everyone! </p><p>The IcelandicJapanese Gypsy Wanderer </p></li><li><p>mags and every move it makes subjected </p><p>to intense media scrutiny. </p><p>I think at first I felt like I had to personally every criticism that came my way, and sometimes I would think if it was all worth it, you know? WDF lets out a tired dribble of water. And then you realize its all just part of the job and people are going to have something new to talk about next week, I keep the same friends around me that I did before all this and they dont let it get to my head. </p><p>WDF knows that its talking about, back in 2011 a feud with the Moore Wilsons drinking fountain rotated the rumour mill, things got ugly with both sides taking pot-shots in the media, now howeverthats all in the past, WDF insists. </p><p>"God! That was so long ago!" It's 11am on a sunny Wellington morning and Wellington's number one drinking foun-tain is reminiscing over a photo shoot it did for Womans Weekly before hitting the big time. </p><p>I had no idea what I was doing back then I cant say too much has changed. Wellingtons number one drinking fountain is being modest of course, dressed down for our interview, its natural good looks still make it in-stantly recognisable to a group of Ger-</p><p>man tourists who ask for a photograph. </p><p>Does it get tiring? Since being crowned WN1DF in 2010, WDF has been a con-stant in the media spotlight, its personal and private life splashed across gossip </p><p>FEATURE Living Life in the Fast Stream we talk to Wellingtons Number One Drinking Fountain </p><p>The verdict is inits number one! </p></li><li><p> night fever </p><p>night fever </p><p>It was blown way out of proportion, we are actually good friends, MWDF sent me the sweetest text the other day, and I </p><p>really admire their work. </p><p>So success hasnt changed WDF? </p><p>At the end of the day its just a job, its one I love and Im so lucky to be doing it, but I think modesty and staying humble is </p><p>key. </p><p>True to its word, WDF was recently in-volved in a charity program which raises </p><p>awareness of three legged dogs. </p><p>People need to be aware, theyre quite gross. </p><p>So whats next for WDF? </p><p>There are a couple of things in the pipe-line that I cant wait to share, I think the </p><p>fans are going to love it. </p><p>Can you tell us more? WDF gives its trade-</p><p>mark water spurt. </p><p>Not yet! Im retaining water on this one! </p><p>The future looks bright for this unstoppable </p><p>water fountain doesnt it? </p><p>Well never say never, but things are good, </p><p>WDF has the look of a fountain contented </p><p>to be at the top of its game, </p><p>Thing are looking real good. </p><p>Catch Wellingtons number one drinking fountain in action 24/7 at its home outside </p><p>the City Art Gallery. </p></li><li><p>Can you find Steve Buscemi? </p></li><li><p> night fever </p><p>night fever </p><p>TAURUS </p><p>Be warned! The orbit of the moon means </p><p>your step-dad is going to find out you stole </p><p>that 20 bucks out of his wallet. He will use </p><p>this as an emotional weapon over you and </p><p>further the distance between you and your </p><p>mum. Stupid moon. </p><p>CAPRICORN </p><p>Giiirll! The presence of Saturn means you </p><p>are going to dribble 5x the socially </p><p>acceptable amount of wine down your </p><p>top at a work do. On the plus side, a </p><p>stranger is going to think youre more on </p><p>to it than you really are (not at all) when </p><p>you give really good directions sometime </p><p>at the end of the month </p><p>PISCES </p><p>Prepare yourself to be troubled by a </p><p>dream about fish running an apothecary, </p><p>then annoyed by your flatmate telling you </p><p>it means you have low self-esteem and </p><p>rage issues. </p><p>SCORPIO </p><p>Its time to focus on you this month. A big </p><p>change in career place means you will </p><p>have an opportunity to finally accept that </p><p>your job is a waste of time! Also you will </p><p>have a hot and steamy encounter with a </p><p>new brand of shampoo bringing extra </p><p>spice to your shower life! ;-) </p><p>ARIES </p><p>Things are looking up for you! You will </p><p>befriend a group of people who are </p><p>much, much taller than you. Unfortunately, </p><p>the passing of the new moon means that </p><p>one of your new, tall friends will soon </p><p>(very, very soon) meet their untimely </p><p>death. Maybe you should give them a </p><p>call right now (if its not already too late). </p><p>CANCER </p><p>New discoveries define your month ahead. </p><p>As you venture out of your bedroom for </p><p>the first time in 3 weeks, you realize you </p><p>and all your clothing are now permeating </p><p>a strong smell not dissimilar to rancid </p><p>meat. </p><p>LIBRA </p><p>An unexpected visit from a forgotten friend </p><p>is awkward and embarrassing for you </p><p>both. You at least remember why you are </p><p>no longer friends. The alignment of Mars </p><p>and Neptune will also mean you have </p><p>gained weight. Remember ITS THE PLAN-</p><p>ETS NOT YOUR LIFE STYLE! </p><p>GEMINI </p><p>You and your twin are in for an exciting </p><p>month! Its time to take your relationship to </p><p>a new level - thats right, time to put a </p><p>name tag on that stray cat! Its practically </p><p>yours anyway. </p><p>AQAURIUS </p><p>Now is a good time to yield your wander-</p><p>lust and go on a trip....</p></li></ul>


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