Ethics: It is important to be nice

What is ethical behavior? ● Moral principles that govern behavior; even in the

workplace ○ Code of Conduct you’re expected to follow at work

● Also known as a Code of Conduct or Code of Ethics○ Acceptable standards of behavior for employees to

adhere to

Code of Conduct● Dress Code● Attendance● Health and Safety Standards● Use of Company Property● Appropriate Workplace Behavior

How a code of conduct is handled…(or should be)● Handed out on day 1 of employment● Communicates expectations from employer to

employee○ Sets up discipline process, if necessary

● Consequences are not always consistent

Yes, it’s legal...There isn’t a law that forbids you from being a jerk in the workplace--although there are workplace laws that do offer you some protection and some companies will fire you for violating their code of conduct, but people can and do get away with being a jerk on a daily basis.

Compare/ContrastIf you are willing, please write down a scenario where you or someone you know has experienced bullying. You can identify yourself or not-totally up to you.

Miss Emanuelson’s Story!

Before we get to workplace norms...

Let’s focus on high school and college...

http://www.ted.com/talks/nancy_lublin_texting_that_saves_lives?language=en

What is the point of her message? Does this surprise you?

Ethical Issues that make you think…

(Cyberbullying Digital Harassment Clip)

Slander and libel

•Slander: verbally communicate something that is untrue and harmful about another person

–Gossip that is spoken in some form

-If it is a video, with spoken words, it is slander (snapchat counts)

•Libel: slander put in writing

–Social Media

–Cyber-bullying -So captions on pictures, or snapchat and tweets would count…

Freedom of Speech--but not free from the consequences of what you saySlander: http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/online-gossip-speech-slander-13927691

Libel:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3059286/Parents-Madeleine-McCann-WIN-libel-trial-against-Portuguese-detective-Officer-ordered-pay-couple-75-000.html

Basic FactsBullying happens in the

workplace

● 96% of those in a poll were bullied at work (as adults)○ 62% involved some

form of sabotage of trashing of reputation

○ 52% Browbeating, threats, and intimidation

○ 4% physically assaulted

A new way of saying it...

Terms worksheet: Due tomorrow!

(http://cyberbullying.org/glossary/)

Cyberbullying

Digital Harassment

Textual Harassment

Cyberbullying● use the Internet, cell phones, or other devices to send or post text or

images intended to hurt or embarrass another person○ 68% of Teens and 40% of adults have experienced

cyberbullying○ 24/7 form of bullying on cyberspace○ Passive Social Interaction

■ Hiding behind the use of technology because you aren’t forced to be face-to-face

■ Video: http://wgntv.com/2015/09/08/comedians-fat-shaming-video-causes-controversy/

Richie IncognitoInitial Happenings

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/miami-dolphins-player-richie-incognito-suspended-misconduct-bullying-20786758

Investigated Report

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10455447/miami-dolphins-bullying-report-released-richie-incognito-others-responsible-harassment

Where is Richie Incognito now?Plays for the Buffalo Bills and is ranked 3rd out of 80 guards in the NFL. He was given a one-year deal worth $2.25 million with incentives. He did sit out for 30 months for his role in harrassassing players like Jonathan Martin.

Digital and Textual Harassment ● Cyberstalking

○ Internet, email or other electronic communications to stalk, and generally refers to a pattern of threatening or malicious behaviors

● Cyber Harassment○ Not involving a credible threat. Cyberharassment usually

pertains to threatening or harassing email messages, instant messages, or to blog entries or websites dedicated solely to tormenting an individual

Facts● Humiliation and

Embarrassment play a role

● Go after people around you

● Not a “victimless” crime ○ People are

impacted by this for years

What do they have in common?Donald Trump Kanye West Greg Hardy

Wesley Snipes Chris Brown Johnny Manziel Dave Hester

Alec Baldwin Charlie Sheen Odell Beckham Serena Williams

Christian Bale Katherine Heigl Richard Nixon Ray Rice

Bill O’Reilly Jay Cutler Gwyneth Paltrow Terrell Owens

Mariah Carey Richie Incognito DeMarcus Cousins Michael Jordan

Bullying1) unwanted, aggressive behavior with a real or perceived

power imbalance2) Usually it involves repeated incidents 3) Hazing is a form of it4) Patterns of behavior 5) SLANDER/LIBEL 6) 3 types

a) Verbalb) Socialc) Physical

EVEN FAMOUS PEOPLE CAN BE A BULLY

Partner Pair/ShareFind a relevant news story that talks about bullying/hazing by someone famous. You may find a celebrity, politician, singer, athlete, etc... Your goal is to create a 1-2 minute presentation (plus video if you can find a link) that explains what happened. You are telling a story so DON’T read off the screen! Tell us your reaction to the story as well. Answer the prompt:: Speculate on the long term consequences of bullying in the workplace based on your article.

__/5 finds an appropriate story

__/10 explains what happened in 1-2 minutes

__/5 explains their reaction to the story (and answers the question)

__/10 presentation (slides and vocals) are flawless; there are pictures.

In the news.Your assignment is to write a 1-page response that answers the question:

Speculate why is bullying so harmful and what should be done about it? Use the 48 hours special as your launching point. (WORTH 20 points)

One of the people featured is a Peoria Notre Dame student (graduates 2016)

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/bullying-words-can-kill/

In a study...● People that were bullied at a young age are at age 50:

○ more likely to be depressed○ to assess their general health as poor○ can have worse cognitive functioning○ greater risk of anxiety disorders and suicide○ fewer years of schooling than their peers

■ Men more likely to be unemployed and if employed make little money

○ More socially isolated

Sexting

•Sexting–The act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones–It is ILLEGAL

Consequences

● Emotional○ Embarrassment and

humiliation ○ Bullying○ Lost Friendships○ Guilt and shame○ Objectification○ Hopelessness

● Legal○ Criminal charges for

child pornography○ Registering as sex

offender○

VIDEO: http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/consequences-sexting-7080436 More recent: http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/07/us/colorado-sexting-scandal-canon-city/index.html

In IllinoisThere is a law in Illinois that prohibits the electronic dissemination by cell phone of any "indecent visual depiction" of a minor, by another a minor. What constitutes an “indecent visual depiction” is set forth in the law

Illinois law that prohibits sexting makes it clear that a juvenile prosecution for sexting does not prohibit further prosecution for violation of other laws, based on: Disorderly Conduct, Public Indecency, Child Pornography, Harassment through Electronic Communications, or any other applicable Illinois law.

Activity

Work with a group of no more than 3 other people, find an example of sexting (no more than 5 years old) create a 2-3 minute presentation to present to the class. Explain what happened, how it was illegal, and what the consequences were (tell the person’s story)

Rubric____/5 Student identifies an example of “Sexting”

____/5 Student explains what happened

____/5 Student explains how it was sexting

___/5 Student discusses implications of the case

___/5 Grammar/Spelling/Graphics of presentations are well done

___/5 Presentation is well done (DOESN’T READ SCREEN)

Panel DiscussionExplain the take home message:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wd4mSos5QRk

Bullying1) unwanted, aggressive behavior with a

real or perceived power imbalance2) Usually it involves repeated incidents 3) Patterns of behavior 4) 3 types

a) Verbalb) Socialc) Physical

Bullying by OMISSION means withholding information or items someone needs

Bullying by COMMISSION means doing something harmful (with intent toward someone else)

“must be severe or pervasive enough to create a work environment that a reasonable person would consider intimidating, hostile, or

abusive … Petty slights, annoyances, and isolated incidents (unless extremely serious) will not rise to the level of illegality. In other

words, if your boss or your coworkers are intolerable jerks but it’s not based on your race, religion, sex, or other protected

characteristic, that’s not illegal. Unwise and unkind, but not illegal. So it's not illegal to be a jerk.

Bullying

•Most people try to “ignore” it at first

•Less productive/creative

•Self-questioning

•Turmoil; embarrassed; frustrated; untrusting

•Symptoms can occur like:

–Crying; lack of sleep; poor concentration; HBP; Gastrointestinal

problems; Excessive weight loss/gain; Depression; alcohol/drug abuse;

avoid workplace/people; uncharacteristic fearfulness

Bullying in the WorkplaceTypically NOT illegal

● Is driven by perpetrators'(person doing the bullying) need to control the targeted individual(s).

● Is initiated by bullies who choose their targets, timing, location, and methods.

● Is a set of acts of commission (doing things to others) or omission (withholding resources from others)

● Requires consequences for the targeted individual● Escalates to involve others who side with the bully, either voluntarily

or through coercion.● Undermines legitimate business interests when bullies' personal

agendas take precedence over work itself.● similar to domestic violence at work, where the abuser is on the

payroll.

Activity

Read the scenario and follow the instructions at the top. You have 20 minutes. This is for a grade.

2015: done early

Bystander: is someone who sees or knows about bullying or other forms of violence that is happening to someone else; they can either be part of the problem (hurtful bystander) or part of the solution (helpful bystander).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnD5YNKHeAs

How do you know if you’re being bullied?Outside of work:

● Feel like throwing up the night before the start of your work week

● Frustrated family demands that you to stop obsessing about work at home

● Doctor asks what could be causing your skyrocketing blood pressure and recent health problems, and tells you to change jobs

● Feel too ashamed of being controlled by another person at work to tell your spouse or partner

Outside of work continued:● All paid time off is used for "mental health breaks" from the

misery● Days off are spent exhausted and lifeless, your desire to do

anything is gone● Favorite activities and fun with family are no longer

appealing or enjoyable● Begin to believe that you provoked the workplace cruel

How do you know you’re being bullied?What happens at work:

● Attempt the obviously impossible task of doing a new job without training or time to learn new skills, but that work is never good enough for the boss

● Surprise meetings are called by your boss with no results other than further humiliation

● Everything your tormenter does to you is arbitrary (with no real reason) and capricious (sudden or unaccountable change in mood), working a personal agenda that undermines the employer's legitimate business interests

Video: http://globalnews.ca/video/2543071/how-to-identify-and-confront-workplace-bullying

What happens at work● Others at work have been told to stop working, talking,

or socializing with you● You are constantly feeling agitated and anxious,

experiencing a sense of doom, waiting for bad things to happen

● No matter what you do, you are never left alone to do your job without interference

● People feel justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you are punished if you scream back

What happens at work● HR tells you that your harassment isn't illegal, that you have to

"work it out between yourselves"● You finally, firmly confront your tormentor to stop the abusive

conduct and you are accused of harassment● You are shocked when accused of incompetence, despite a

history of objective excellence, typically by someone who cannot do your job

● Everyone -- co-workers, senior bosses, HR -- agrees (in person and orally) that your tormentor is a jerk, but there is nothing they will do about it (and later, when you ask for their support, they deny having agreed with you)

● Your request to transfer to an open position under another boss is mysteriously denied

Gaslighting: manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Its really subtle, meaning people will think you’re making something up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaBFfomRGGY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7B3-PJuikY

The biggest thing to understand if you’re being bullied: You’re NOT crazy or imagining it. You

didn’t ask for it. It's not your fault.

Test 1: when done, BULLY

BullyDocumentary: What did you

think?

Answer discussion questions. Be prepared to share your answer

Differences between childhood and workplace bullying

DifferencesSchool: targeted for being different/loner

Workplace

● You’re seen as a “threat” to someone● Independent (refuse to be subservient--give into whims of someone else)● Better liked most of the time; better social skills; higher EQ● Ethical and honest● Don’t like confrontation● Those that have a desire to help, heal, teach, develop, nurture

others

How do employers let it happen?Cutthroat competition for jobs/raises/advancement

● Winners vs. losers● Social environment of where you work● Employer’s response to bullying

○ 72% of all bullies are managers ○ 40% of all bullying goes unreported

Is bullying in the workplace an issue?Yes.

-Hard to know if bullying is happening at the workplace.

-Many studies acknowledge that there is a "fine line" between strong management and bullying.

-Comments that are objective and are intended to provide constructive feedback are not usually considered bullying, but rather are intended to assist the employee with their work

More: Bullying and harassing behavior does not include:

● Expressing differences of opinion.● Offering constructive feedback, guidance, or advice about

work‑related behaviour.● Reasonable action taken by an employer or supervisor

relating to the management and direction of workers or the place of employment (e.g., managing a worker's performance, taking reasonable disciplinary actions, assigning work).

Examples:● Spreading malicious rumours, gossip, or innuendo that is not

true.● Excluding or isolating someone socially.● Intimidating a person.● Undermining or deliberately impeding a person's work.● Physically abusing or threatening abuse.● Removing areas of responsibilities without cause.● Constantly changing work guidelines.Video: http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/bullying-job-20524429

Examples:● Establishing impossible deadlines that will set up the individual to

fail.● Withholding necessary information or purposefully giving the wrong

information.● Making jokes that are 'obviously offensive' by spoken word or

e-mail. (http://www.buzzfeed.com/javiermoreno/this-guy-was-fired-after-racist-comments-were-posted-on-a-ph#.vc2Grg7zn)

● Intruding on a person's privacy by pestering, spying or stalking.http://www.wdtv.com/wdtv.cfm?func=view&section=5-News&item=Adult-Bullying-Victims-Speak-Out12826 ● Assigning unreasonable duties or workload which are unfavourable

to one person (in a way that creates unnecessary pressure).

Examples:● Criticising a person persistently or constantly.● Belittling a person's opinions.● Unwarranted (or undeserved) punishment.● Blocking applications for training, leave or promotion.● Tampering with a person's personal belongings or work

equipment.● Underwork - creating a feeling of uselessness.● Yelling or using profanity.Video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/13/workplace-bully-boss_n_4782743.html

Work with a small group (2-3 people) and find an example of bullying in the workplace--a real life example and present it in a 2 minute presentation. Use the What/Why/How Strategy

__/5 Example of workplace bullying (What happened?)__/5 Why was it bullying?__/5 What were the consequences__/5 Presentation Style

How do you know if its bullying?Use the reasonable person test. If a reasonable person wouldn’t do it or considers the actions unreasonable, they probably are.

Bullying typesYou may exhibit some (or one) of these personalities at a given time. It doesn’t mean you are a bully, it does mean that we all have tendencies to be NOT nice at times.

Types•The Screaming Mimi

•The Two-Headed Snake

•The Constant Critic

•The Gatekeeper

•The Attention Seeker

•The Wannabe

•The Guru

•The Sociopath or Socialized Psychopath

Screaming Mimi

•LOUD, obnoxious, or in your face (think the all caps texter/FB poster)

•Spittle-flying tirades

•Neck veins popping

•Love to berate and humiliate

•Lack decency but can go off on rants in front of an audience for best

effect

•Not open to reason/rational debate

•They are right. You are wrong. The end.

Can you think of anyone like this?

Screaming Mimi: Gordon Ramsey-Ramsay Explodes… (VIDEO) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBqrK9tyvzU -Kicking & Screaming https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpxPstb2DAU -Bobby Knight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Onfzet1xxs

Two-headed Snake•Probably most dangerous and the most common

•“Fake Friend”

•To your face they are nice—convince you to confide in them and trust them

•Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

•Back stabbing; slander your character to others

•Plant seeds of doubt about someone

•Steal credit for the work you do

•Pretend to be your biggest fan to your face

Do you know anyone like this?

Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde-Regina George https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_dCc-9pEPM -Scar from the Lion King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmt45BF5SOM -Arthur Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAtD5PcsTck -Ursula: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2Wzcn1Cokc

Constant Critic•Even if you’re good at your job and have the excellent performance reviews you

will get nitpicked for the littlest thing

•They twist everything you do into a negative

•Create evidence: falsify documents and sabotage projects

•Attempt to prove you are incompetent—at everything all of the time

•Find fault with everything you do

•Perfectionist

•Whiner

Does anyone meet this description?

EXAMPLE CONSTANT CRITIC-Jeanine Matthews from Divergent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ttoICpH0Vc -Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eD8RhPDU5Y

The Gatekeeper•Deny you the resources you need to get the job done then point out to

everyone when you fail

•Expand your responsibilities/duties but cut your resources

•Change deadline to make success impossible

•“Forgetting” to send our critical information/cut you out of meetings

•Do everything possible to make you look stupid

GATEKEEPER-Anton from Ratouille

Attention Seeker (the Drama Queen)•Emotionally immature and seeks above all else to be the center of attention.

•Flatter the people that matter—try to be extra nice to “new” people and if you aren’t

adoring they turn vicious

•Drama Drama Drama

–Relate EVERYTHING that has ever happened to gain sympathy

–Manipulate and Control

–Easily offended. They are the “real victims” if called on behavior

•Generally miserable

•Easy to provoke

•Expect deferential treatment

•Do NOT share personal details with this type of person

DRAMA QUEEN-Sharpay Evans

The Guru•Think Dr. House…

•Probably an expert in their field

•Unable to deal with others emotionally (emotionally distant)

•Superior to others

•Don’t think about how their actions impact others

•Know it alls that can’t recognize that they may be wrong

•Don’t accept responsibility for consequences of their actions

•Cold and analytical can extend into environment

•The rules don’t apply to them—they apply to everyone else

•Smarter than you…

Dr. House (the Guru)-As evidenced in this episode.

Wannabe•Petty and spiteful

•Crave recognition for being valued and competent

–Don’t work hard /don’t actually have the skills to be competent

–Hate people that are competent and professional

•Controlling, manipulative, and very insecure

•Cling to questionable qualifications but want full respect

•Like to move into positions where they have some power over others

(committees/limited supervision)

•TERRIBLE at their jobs—really sensitive when called on incompetence.

–Don’t work to improve; try to point out your weaknesses instead (make you look

stupid)

–Can barely function so they will oppose any changes made in the workplace

Example WannabeSyndrome from the incredibles

Sociopath or Socialized Psychopath•Most frightening and

•No empathy for anything or anyone.

•They are completely without conscience.

–Don’t process emotions and don’t understand your feelings or emotions . Can

manipulate emotions very well to get what they want

•Intelligent, charming, and charismatic

•Great at persuading and getting people on their side

•You CANNOT beat them—ruthless and relentless

•Don’t accept or care about consequences of their actions

•Typically in higher positions of authority

•The people around them are there because they are submissive

–Beholden to the bully

Psychopath cont...•Culture of fear = employees always afraid of consequences

•People are regarded as objects that serve a purpose. Once they are not able to

serve a purpose for the sociopath they are discarded like yesterdays trash.

•Play a game of “I win” and they always win

•True EVIL

Example PsychopathAdolph HitlerPresident Snow

Assignment

•Find a cartoon or TV

character/movie character or literary

example/real life person that meets

the description of the type of bully

you are given. Explain HOW they are

that type of bully on the worksheet

provided

Collaboration: Work with 1 or 2 others and create a “poster” of characters with the bullying types. You need 8 different characters (one for each type) with pictures. Posters will be hung in room so make them attractive.

CATEGORY 4 3 2 1Required Elements

The poster includes all required elements as well as additional information.

All required elements are included on the poster.

All but 1 of the required elements are included on the poster.

Several required elements were missing.

Labels All items of importance on the poster are clearly labeled with labels that can be read from at least 3 ft. away.

Almost all items of importance on the poster are clearly labeled with labels that can be read from at least 3 ft. away.

Many items of importance on the poster are clearly labeled with labels that can be read from at least 3 ft. away.

Labels are too small to view OR no important items were labeled.

Graphics - Relevance

All graphics are related to the topic and make it easier to understand. All borrowed graphics have a source citation.

All graphics are related to the topic and most make it easier to understand. Some borrowed graphics have a source citation.

All graphics relate to the topic. One or two borrowed graphics have a source citation.

Graphics do not relate to the topic OR several borrowed graphics do not have a source citation.

Attractiveness The poster is exceptionally attractive in terms of design, layout, and neatness.

The poster is attractive in terms of design, layout and neatness.

The poster is acceptably attractive though it may be a bit messy.

The poster is distractingly messy or very poorly designed. It is not attractive.

Grammar There are no grammatical/mechanical mistakes on the poster.

There are 1-2 grammatical/mechanical mistakes on the poster.

There are 3-4 grammatical/mechanical mistakes on the poster.

There are more than 4 grammatical/mechanical mistakes on the poster.

•Many “bullies” fall into more than one of the

definitions I’ve given you

•“mobbing” (aka isolating one person by excluding

them in some way) at work is usually LEGAL

–Defamation (slander/libel aren’t) but it really hard to

prove

–Remember, mobbing can be unintentional and as

simple as social ostracism

An example: Former superintendent I worked for said something to the effect, “a little intimidation never hurt anyone.”

–True or False?

–Is it okay to be bullied? Why/why not?

–Is it “just a part of life?”

–Do you want to work someplace that is ruled by fear?

•Always walking on eggshells analogy

–Unfortunately, most of the advice I can find/research I’ve

done basically puts the victim on the defensive

•Fair? No. Reality? Usually.

Consequences of bullying on the Victim● Anxiety is the most common psychological symptom of

workplace bullying reported by 80%. Panic attacks afflict 52%. Thankfully agoraphobia was reported by only 17% of targets

● 49% of targets reported being diagnosed with clinical depression. Sleep disruption, loss of concentration, mood swings, and pervasive sadness and insomnia were more common

Consequences ● PTSD: 30% of respondents reported being diagnosed

with it; 19% diagnosed with Acute Stress Disorder. Though targets reported much higher rates of PTSD symptoms

Victim Consequences● Respondents could also check cardiological system

health problems. Heart palpitations (61%) and hypertension (60%) were the most common symptoms reported

● Migraine headaches (48%), Irritable bowel disorder (37%), Chronic fatigue syndrome (33%) and Sexual dysfunction (27%)

● feeling betrayed by coworkers (74%) and are now distrustful of institutions (63%).

Victim Consequences● Take more sick days, resulting in higher rates of absenteeism● Aren't as motivated, engaged, or productive● More likely to leave your organization and they certainly aren't

going to recommend your company to their talented friends, family or professional contacts

Consequences of bullying on the perpetrator ● Co-workers disconnect from you● Reputation follows (sometimes)● Documentation trail follows you● Sadly, often nothing is done to the bully

Consequences of bullying on the workplace

● Poor productivity, lower retention rates and possible legal action

● impact your ability to work in teams● Affect businesses' ability to recruit and retain talent.

○ A lot of the best employees come through referrals, and no one's going to refer their friends, family, colleagues to an abusive work environment

Bullying Environmental effects

● Social exclusion (mobbing) starts to happen● Fearful of retaliation by the bully● Strong sense of guilt● Becoming disillusioned● disrupting the work environment and impacting worker morale● reduced productivity● create a hostile work environment● promote absenteeism ● impact workers compensation claims● Increased use of sick leave, health care claims and staff turnover

● Erosion of employee loyalty and commitment

● Additional costs to recruit and train new employees

● Poor public image and negative publicity

● Increased risk of legal action

How do you avoid the bully

•Heighten your awareness

–Be aware of changes in corporate culture

–New boss

–New rules

–If more than one person have had issues…–Listen to yourself…

•Can’t we all just get along

–“NO”

–Be strategic about who you “friend”

–Have an exit plan in place

•On the D/L

–Laying low

–Staying off the radar is a good thing

–Don’t openly disagree or challenge a bully or “difficult”

personality

–Don’t offer constructive criticism

Don’t go above and beyond—just do your job

•Play it cool

–Minimize your outward signs and body language

indicators

•Anxiety

•Fidgeting

•Crying

•Apologizing

–Bullies pick up on fear

•Look them in the eye

–Don’t back down or run scared

–It doesn’t mean challenge the bully—it does mean

choose your battles

Calm. Polite. Stick to facts

•Develop and Practice Conflict Management

–Teachers have to do it

–Deflect with humor/changing the subject

–Remain calm

–Be assertive

•Know your rights

–Know what is and isn’t legal

–Know the handbook

–If it is tolerated, it is only a matter of time before

you are targeted

The word “No.” Understand that the word “NO.” is a sentence. You don’t have to justify why you’re saying it to a bully or to unreasonable demands

-Don’t use “No, but” or “No, because,” or even “Just” in the same sentence, they take power away from you

•Call them on it

–We all know who they are. Do we sit by quietly or do we

stand up and stop it? You don’t challenge but you also

shouldn’t just take it…

•Don’t look for a reason as to why it is occurring

–You will drive yourself crazy. You aren’t “at fault”

–Very little you could have done differently

•Fight backBe more reserved. Don’t be as friendly to the “mobbers”

Don’t discuss the issue.

•Open your eyes

–Most mobbers repeat this behavior with others

How do you change the workplace culture● Managers must clarify what appropriate expectations● Mediation or restorative justice to improve the situation as much as it can be● deal with this issue directly, modeling leadership for the team and showing them a safe, respectful,

collaborative work environment is required at the company● End the enabling system● Outcome Frame

Outcome Frame Outcome Frame. Ask the bully:

1. What would you like? (outcome they desire that they can create/maintain)

2. What will having that do for you? (how they’ll feel/benefits they’ll get)

3. How will you know when you have it? (proof/criteria that will be present)

4. Where, when, with whom do you want this? (timing/who else/scope)

5. What might of value you have to risk to get this? (is it ok for them to have this outcome?)

6. What are the next steps?

Ask question #2 a few times, as often this is where what they really want is revealed. The

Outcome Frame is a potent tool to get a person to focus on the outcome, and not the

problem—it helps them getunstuck. Then you can shift to the right triangle above, where the

victim/rescuer/persecutor have shifted to their positive alternative.

Restorative Justice

Theory of justice that emphasizes repairing the harm caused by criminal (or poor) behaviour. It is best accomplished through cooperative processes that include all stakeholders. This can lead to transformation of people, relationships and communities

3 big ideas(1) repair: crime (poor behavior like bullying) causes harm and justice requires repairing that harm

(2) encounter: the best way to determine how to do that is to have the parties decide together

(3) transformation: this can cause fundamental changes in people, relationships and communities.

How it works (Preparation): Restorative process begins with confidential one-on-one interviews, listening to people tell their story about what has been happening. A facilitator takes notes (that are reviewed), looking for incidents, issues and patterns of behavior. Having identified what the issues are and which of the incidents best illustrate those issues, the final task prior to the conference is to persuade individuals that they have contributed to the conflict and need to bear some personal responsibility. The preparation in a restorative justice conference in the workplace is crucial.

Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSJ2GPiptvc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcLuVeHlrSs

Exit Slip: Does restorative justice work?