new angle on writing [semester 2]

Richard Dowling Stephen Watson

2HA Publishing

New Angleon Writing

Semester 2

11 Sentence FormsPut to Use inTraditional

Rhetorical EssayForms, with Ample

Model StudentCompositions

ISBN 978-0-9733822-6-6

Teachers and others are free to use all the charts and selections

from the book for educational purposes, but not for commercial

purposes or profit of any kind.

If you have any questions or suggestions, please email us at

[email protected]

Visit us also at our websites at

http://symphonicassemblage.orghttp://newangleonwriting.org

Large portions of this book are excerpted from Dowling and

Watson’s 2 volume The Two Hands Approach to the English

Language: a Symphonic Assemblage published in Feb. 2010

Cover design and interior layout and graphics by stedawa

Black and white photos of nature, buildings, or objects by and

used with the permission of Steve Garrigues.

© 2010 Richard Dowling and Stephen Watson

Two Hands Approach Publishing

© 2HA Publishing

Contents

Semester 2

Part 1 – Introduction

1. Introduction to New Angle on Writing (Semester 2) ....................................12. Sample Lesson and Activity Plan Outline .............................................23. 12 Turns of the English Language ............................................................64. 12 Kinds of Words........................................................................................ 75. 5 Jobs of the 12 Kinds of Words ...............................................................86. Graphic Representation of the 5-Level Sentence Architecture ......97. Samples Illustrating the 5-Level Architecture of the Sentence .... 108. Complete Review of 11 Sentence Forms with 127 Sub-Forms........ 11

Part 2 – Forms of the Paragraph and Essay

9. The Writing Course or Path .................................................................. 4510. 5 Conceptual Tools Useful When Writing ........................................4711. Introduction to the Paragraph and Student Essays on the

Paragraph..................................................................................................... 4912. Creative Writing Process and Student Essays on It .................... 6913. 3 Keys for Effective Organization of Essays........................................9714. Effective Writing and Criteria for Good Style.................................. 98

Alliterative Participles, Nouns, and Adjectives for Attitudesof the Writer and Style................................................... 98

Motto for Writing and Writing Style Tips...................... 1015 Hallmarks of Good Writing .............................................102Rubrics for Rating Compositions ......................................105Traditional Rhetorical Essay Forms in Sets of 3 ............. 107

15. Professional Model and Student Essays of the following ClassicalEssay Forms:

Narrative ....................................................108Descriptive ................................................129Comparative ............................................. 141

16. Instructions, Model, & Student Essays of theCharacterSketch..... 15817. Preface on Importance of Autobiography and Student

Autobiographies...................................................................................... 17518. Student Final Free-Form Exam Essays ...........................................21419. Remaining Forms of the Essay – Classical and Contemporary . 23920. Examples and Features of the 5 Prevalent Essay Forms ..............240

21. 2 Academic and Journalistic Short or Extended Essay Forms ...24222. Models of Thought to Show Thought Path .....................................24823. Writing a Critical Review.....................................................................25024. 8 Methods of Analyzing an Essay ......................................................25125. Parting Thoughts about the Essay......................................................25226. Continuing to Write All Through Life ..............................................25927. Bibliography .............................................................................................. 26128. Biographical Notes on the Authors ....................................................267

Introduction

This book is the companion and sequel volume to ourinitial volume, New Angle on Writing. New Angle on Writingintroduced our method of teaching new students to writeeffective prose through mastery of the 11 Universal Formsof the Sentence. It showed students how to incorporatethose forms into paragraphs of varied lengths usingexcellent student paragraphs as models to emulate. Theinitial New Angle on Writing constituted the first semester of aone year writing course. This volume constitutes the secondsemester of the one year course.

This book will continue encouraging students toemploy the 11 Universal Sentence types but now asincorporated in the traditional rhetorical forms ofexpository, narrative, descriptive, and comparativeessays in addition to a character sketch andautobiography. Once again, we provide as part of ourinstruction excellent model compositions for students toemulate.

We begin this book by repeating the Charts of theinitial volume of the 11 Universal Sentence Forms withtheir sub-forms and a few accompanying examples of allthe forms. This book assumes that readers have learnedand digested the material in the initial volume.

As we did with the initial volume, we provide a sampleset of lesson plans for teachers and students to followwhen conducting the course.

1

Sample Lesson and Activity Plan Outline

T= teacher, S = student, para=paragraph ex=example, ‘ =minutes, hwk = homework, Ass. = Assignment, E.=English,exs =examples

1

Review of 11 Universal Sentence Forms1 hr – students write an initialcomposition of 4 or 5 paragraphs in whichthey notate and footnote 10 to 15 variedexamples of 11 forms of the sentence andtheir sub-formsT collects the papers.

Ss should review11 UniversalSentence Forms,especially onesthat they areunsure of.

2

T redistributes papers from class#1 to theirrespective author, and then divides the classinto groups to peer review and suggest revisionsfor the various papers. This establishes theroutine of initial draft, peer review, andrewriting of initial draft.

Ss type upthe revisedpaper.

3

Ss submit typed revised and initial draft papersto T.T introduces the ideas and examples ofsentence combing from William Strong’s book(or other similar books). Ss share at the boardtheir various combinations of sentence anddiscuss which combinations are the best.

Ss do ahomeworkassignment inone of Strong’sbook for nextclass.

4

Divide Ss into groups again, and have themagree on the best combination of sentencesindividually and as a whole in the homeworkassignment. Then have the various groupsread out loud or place on the board theiragreed upon final selection.

Ss do a homeworkassignment in oneof Strong’s bookfor next class.

5

Divide Ss into groups again, and have themagree on the best combination of sentencesindividually and as a whole in the homeworkassignment. Then have the various groupsread out loud or place on the board theiragreed upon final selection.

Ss do a homeworkassignment in oneof Strong’s bookfor next class.

6T explains freewriting (Graves – “quickwrites”) and has students write freelyon a topic of their own choice for anhour.

Ss edit and rewritethe freewriting athome

2

7Ss share freewriting in groups forpeer feedback, reading both theinitial and revised copy.

Ss type up final versionof freewriting (4 copiesfor peer review)

8

Ss hand in both initial draft andfinal version of freewriting.Ss nominate 3 topics to writeabout, and then tell them to writefreeform about 1 of the 3 topics.

Ss edit and type up newversion of focusedcomposition (4 copiesfor peer review)

9Peer review of typed compositionfor each group member (3 to 5 in agroup.

Retype the final versionbased on group feedback.

10Ss had in initial, second, and final versions offocused composition.T and Ss read about The Writing Course or Path(page 41 to 44)

Review WritingCourse or Path

11

T and Ss readabout Paragraph(p.45) and theinstructions forEssayAssignment 1.

Essay Assignment 1: Ss write anexpository essay of 5 or more paragraphson the history, purpose, form, features,and kinds of paragraphs, notating andfootnoting a representative selection ofthe 11 Forms of the sentence;

12

Ss bring enough copies for Ass.1 (typed) for allSs and T.Read essay about the paragraph and edit themin class, asking Ss to make suggestions and Talso adds input.

Ss preparefinal versionof Ass.1 (1copy for T)

13

Ss submit Ass.1 to T.T and Ss read aboutProcess Essay (p.65)and the instructionsfor EssayAssignment 2.

Essay Assignment 2: Ss write an expositoryessay of 5 or more paragraphs on The WritingCourse outlined in class which covers, amongother things, the Writing Situation, the WritingProcess, and Thesis Formation in essay writing,notating and footnoting a representativeselection of the 11 Forms of the Sentence;

14Ss bring enough copies for Ass.2 (typed) for all Ss andT.Read essay about the paragraph and edit them inclass, asking Ss to make suggestions. T adds input.

Ss prepare finalversion of Ass.2(1 copy for T)

15Ss submit Ass. 2 to T.

T and Ss read aboutNarrative Essay (p.104)and the instructions for

Essay Assignment 3: Ss write aNarrative essay, notating andfootnoting a representativeselection of the 11 Forms of the

3

Essay Assignment 3. Sentence;

16Ss bring enough copies for Ass.3 (typed) for all Ssand T.Read Narrative essay and edit them in class,asking Ss to make suggestions. T also adds input.


17

Ss submit Ass. 3 to T.T and Ss read aboutDescriptive Essay (p.125)and the instructions forEssay Assignment 4.

Essay Assignment 4: studentswrite a Descriptive essay,notating and footnoting arepresentative selection of the 11Forms of the Sentence;

18

Ss bring enough copies for Ass.4(typed) for allSs and T.Read Descriptive essay and edit them in class,asking Ss to make suggestions. T also addsinput.


19

Ss submit Ass. 4 to T.T and Ss read aboutComparative Essay (p.137)and the instructions forEssay Assignment 5.

Essay Assignment 5: studentswrite a Comparative essay,notating and footnoting arepresentative selection of the11 Forms of the Sentence;

20Ss bring enough copies for Ass.5 (typed) for allSs and T.Read Comparative essay and edit them in class,asking Ss to make suggestions. T also adds input.


21Ss submit Ass. 4 to T.T and Ss read about CharacterSketch Essay (p.153) and theinstructions for Essay Assignment 6.

Essay Assignment 6: studentswrite a Character Sketch, usingnarration, description,definition, and example;

22

Ss bring enough copies for Ass.6 (typed) for allSs and T.Read Character Sketch essay and edit them inclass, asking Ss to make suggestions. T alsoadds input.

Ss preparefinal versionof Ass.6(1copy for T)

23

Ss submit Ass. 6 to T.T and Ss read aboutAutobiography Essay (p.171) andthe instructions for EssayAssignment 6.

Essay Assignment 7: studentswrite an Autobiography usingnarration, description,classification, and Cause andEffect;

24Ss bring enough copies for Ass.7 (typed) for allSs and T.Read Autobiography essay and edit them in

Ss preparefinal versionof Ass.7 (1

4

class, asking Ss to make suggestions. T alsoadds input.

copy for T)

25Do any catching up or Other activitysuch as Formspotting, Ss fave passagesand why they like them mentioningtheir qualities of good writing

Ss find some favepassages andprepare copies,presentation

26Ss continue to present theirfave passages in groups or tothe whole class

Ss find some fave passagesand prepare copies,presentation

27 Ss present their fave passages in groupsor to the whole class

28 Open

29 Open

30

Final Free-Form Exam – Ss nominate 5topics, choose 1, write on it footnotefree (no footnotes required) for 2hours

T can compare Class #1 composition with Class #30 composition. Howmuch has the S improved?

5

Configuration of 7 CoordinatingConjunctions in 3 Rows

(for ease of memory)

And Butassociation/opposi

tion

Or Nor choice

For SoYet

cause/consequence/ elegant

opposition

The 7 Coordinating Conjunction are orderedlogically in 3 groups:

I. Association and Opposition(a) And –The Association Coordinating

Conjunction;(b) But – The Opposition Coordinating

Conjunction

II. Choice(c) Or –The Positive Choice Coordinating

Conjunction;

(d) Nor – The Negative Choice CoordinatingConjunction

III. Cause, Consequence, ElegantOpposition

(a) For –The Cause CoordinatingConjunction;

(b) So – The Result or ConsequenceCoordinating Conjunction

(c) Yet – The Elegant OppositionCoordinating Conjunction

18

Adverbial Conjunctions Configuredas the 3Cs and a T for Ease of

Memory

The 15 Adverbial Conjunctions are conveniently arrangedin 4 groups which we can remember as CCCT or 3Cs and aT.

CAUSECONDITIONAL

or

HYPOTHETICAL

CONCESSION

(or Qualification)TIME

because

since

if

once

whether

unless

until

though

although

eventhough

when

as

while-----------------

before

after-----------------

since

20

The Usual Configuration of 10 with 3Sets of 3 and One Alone by Itself

(for Ease of Memory)

Who Where When person-place-

time

Why What How order of

priority of

asking (high to

low)

That Which Whose order of

frequency

(high to low)Whom

There is an interesting observation here:

From the above 10 words, 9 of them (all except

That) can be used as question words.

All good writers – especially reporters and

journalists – must continually ask and answer

questions that contain these words.

Likewise, every person should ask these

questions about themselves.

22

9(PP) Semi-Colon Forms III

Two Difficult SEMI-COLONS

Separating Items in a Series

9.sc8

FIRST Separating Semi-ColonClearly divides items in a series in which one

or more items has a comma in it

This Korean New Year I gave gifts to each member in

my family: to my brother, an organizer; to my mother, a

book she really wanted to read; to my father, a pen.

Everyone brought something to help make the party a

success: Jim, his mp3 boom box; Jan, cabbage rolls; Han,

fruit punch; Colly, potato salad; Jansirani, idlis; Zooey, her

strobe light; and Jeff, board games.

“Second, we have all the problems of a major zoo – care

of the animals; health and welfare; feeding and

cleanliness; protection from insects, pests, allergies, and

illnesses; maintenance of barriers; and all the rest.” M.Crichton Jurassic Park

Our collection… includes directions in assorted shapes

and sizes; handwritten or typed narratives; free-form, all-

too-creative maps with little stick figures, cars and

houses; on colored paper and white; some photocopied,

others dictated casually over the phone…” Anne BernaysTake a Left Turn Onto Nowhere Street from Skwire Writing with a Thesis 10the ed.

9.sc9

SECOND Separating Semi-ColonClearly divides items in a series in which one

or more items has a comma in it

The team’s success comes from training that pushes

one’s limits: a coach who inspires confidence and knows all

the strategies; team members who pour on the heat every

minutes of every game and workout.

This exercise encapsulates my philosophy of education,

which is based on the word respect: respect between

student and teacher; respect for our cultural heritage;

and respect for our natural neighbors. Robert BatemanThinking Like a Mountain

25

Punctuation Marks for Middle ofSentence

Recall our chart of the punctuation marks that are used to

demarcate additions:

Three Punctuation Marks to Set Off

Additions

PunctuationMark

Propertyor

Nickname

Intended LiteraryEffect

dash(non-list)

the

comment

with flair

used to highlight,

emphasize, or make

conspicuous the

addition

comma

the

comment

that clarifies

used for regular,

ordinary, or mild

emphasis

parenthesis

the

comment

that

whispers

whispers or very

slightly emphasizes

the addition, almost

as an afterthought or

an aside

36

The Writing Course or Path

Just as you have seen the survey of the whole of English with The

Twelve Turns of the English Language and the 11 Sentence Forms, so

also we provide at the outset of Composition Instruction an

overview of the composition process as a whole.

It is called the Writing Course or Path, meaning the path one must

run or traverse to win the prize – writing well. The course has a

definite beginning, middle, and end. There are 5 checkpoints or

stopping posts on the writing course which are identified with the

5 fingers of the right hand. Each of the 5 stopping posts can be

broken down into triads, or sets of three additional markers. This

means that there are altogether 15 things that must be understood

and mastered, but they break down in a logical and consistent

manner that is easy to reconstruct by thinking with little or no

rote memory required. They

present a clear mind map that

is easily retained by the mind

as an indelible image.

After reading through the next 3 pages together, students can be

encouraged to re-state each of the 5 checkpoints and the triads

using their own words or phrases.

The triad charts can be read vertically as well as horizontally.

45

According to the modern paragraph pundit, Victor C. Pellegrino, the

notion of paragraphing was initiated by Scotland’s Alexander Bain in 1866.

By physically “parceling” groups of sentences that are related to a single topic,

the reader is notified that there will be a shift of topic once one reaches the

end of one paragraph and launches into the next.

Prior to this, sentences had been numbered, as we see in Pico’s Dignity of

Man, in the Bible, or other major sacred texts. Further clumping into chapters

made broader topics visible, yet between the numbered sentences and the

numbered chapters, there was still too much uninterrupted text. What was

needed were breaks in the text to separate ideas clearly, giving the reader

time to view and better control the flow and intensity of reading passage.

Because this book focuses primarily on the sentence and its building

blocks, it is not within our scope to describe in full detail about the paragraph.

Pellegrino in his A Writer’s Guide to Powerful Paragraphs offers a matchless,

scholarly treatment of 30 types of paragraphs. However, below, we provide a

brief sketch of the nature, characteristics, and types of paragraphs.

THE LOOK OR FORM OF THE PARAGRAPH

What is the look of a paragraph? It is a block of text, specifically

sentences, that deals with a single topic, such as the physical description of the

appearance of a person, place or thing, the causes and consequences of an

event that transpired, or the details of one day or part of a day in the life of an

individual.

There are two ways to show the appearance of a new paragraph. You

may either place an indentation of usually 3 to 7 spaces before the

paragraph as you see in this paragraph or else place a blank line between

paragraphs with no indentation, as you see below.

49

Paragraphs – like sentences – can vary in length, and there is no hard and fast

rule about the length of a paragraph. Traditionally, in most literature, on the

average, 5 to 8 sentences should be enough to develop a single idea. Longer

paragraphs may be hard to follow, as the reader goes through them, so they

may sometimes need to be divided into two or more smaller paragraphs.

TYPES OF PARAGRAPHS (JOBS OF PARAGRAPHS)

Paragraphs serve different functions. They break up a longer passage into

more manageable or digestible units, as stated above. A paragraph at the

beginning will introduce the main topic. And a paragraph at the end will

draw the discussion to a close. In between these two paragraphs, an array of

other paragraphs delves deeper into topics, unraveling each topic and

contemplating it point by point. We call these body paragraphs. Other

paragraphs may serve no other function than offering a bridge between two

ideas, one in the preceding paragraph and the other in the subsequent

paragraph. These are transition paragraphs. And, finally, we have single-

sentence paragraphs that want to show off or be shown off. By isolating them,

the writer gives notice to the reader that more than usual attention should be

given to them.

CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD PARAGRAPHS

Unity – there should be a single main idea around which the

whole paragraph revolves

Coherence – the clear presentation of the main supporting

sentences of the central or main theme

Cohesion – the adhesion or proper and natural linkage of

sentences with one another

To achieve Unity, the paragraph should state its main idea, usually

at or near the beginning, and stick to it. To achieve Coherence, the

supporting ideas and sentences should fit or belong together and be

presented in a meaningful and logical way. The reader should quickly

50

perceive the logic or order of presentation, which could for example be

chronological, spatial, or general to specific. No sentence should appear

disjointed or off topic. To achieve Cohesion, the sentences themselves

should be linked, and this is achieved through the use of repetition, the

use of a noun synonym or pronoun for an already mentioned noun, and

the use of adverbial conjunctions and what Pellegrino calls transitional

words and expressions.

In his excellent book A Writer’s Guide to Transitional Words and

Expressions, Pellegrino methodically compiles into convenient

categories more than 1000 such words and phrases. Another of his

books, A Writer’s Guide to Using 8 Methods of Transition presents

suggestions on how to make transitions depending on the type of

argument or “attack” given in the paragraph, such as comparison,

concession, contrast, repetition, or summary.

Modern-day newspapers may appear to deviate from this rule, and

in fact they do. Newspaper stories are written with very frequent

paragraph breaks and look more like a running commentary by the

journalist, or a kind of script of their spoken words. Since people read

newspapers often while on the move, and their concentration span may

be subject to interruption frequently, the size of the portion served in

newspaper stories (the size of the paragraph) is smaller.

51

Instructions:

Paragraphs are visual aids to help the reader follow the flow of

thought of the writer. As we can see, they are like arrows,

indicating a kind of crossroads, pointing onwards to a

particular destination.

Students are instructed to compose and codify a short composition

that describes the functions, types, and peculiar features of

paragraphs, using a variety of sentence forms learned thus far.

By organizing and explaining the how to and the why of the

paragraph, the student is now venturing into writing longer essays,

and more particularly, in this case, into the form of an expository

essay.

Initially, when we assigned students to write short paragraphs,

we first asked them to read an extended exposition about

paragraphs in one of the editions of the Little Brown Handbook or

another textbook as preparation. Next, we lectured about

paragraphs and discussed their chief features in class – stressing

unity, coherence, and cohesion specifically.

Then, once students completed learning and writing the 11

sentence forms and incorporating them into short paragraphs, we

asked that they review the earlier exposition they read in the Little

Brown or other textbook and proceed to write an essay that

summarized what they read – in the process (1) defining what a

paragraph is; (2) stating and explaining the chief features and

characteristics of paragraphs; (3) describing the different kinds of

paragraphs and their roles in essays; (4) noting how to organize

and link paragraphs together; (5) and telling , if possible, something

about the history of the paragraph. Moreover, in the essay they

were required to write a representative selection of the 11 sentence

forms and to notate and footnote the sentence forms they used.

53

Why did we give this assignment? Well , for five reasons: (1) if

students have to write a summary, it insures that they will read the

assigned exposition for sure and more carefully the second time;

(2) it requires students to summarize by paraphrasing and

restating what they read in their own words and using specified

sentence forms which must be written by themselves; (3) when the

various essay summaries are read out loud and corrected in class, it

enables students to see that different good versions can be written

about the same topic, with some versions particularly excelling in

explaining some points or aspects while doing less well on other

points and aspects; (4) students can see the various uses and

benefits of employing the same basic 11 sentence forms on the

same topic; and (5) they will thoroughly understand everything

about paragraphs by the end of the exercise.

Below are 7 student essays written in response to the

assignment. They do a competent job of completing the assignment.

None address the issue of the history of the paragraph because that

was not part of their assignment, but a new issue that we have

added here in case teachers would like to have their students write

essays modeled after those below but adding this new required

component.

Some instructors may feel no need to assign their students to

write a similar essay, but they might like to have their students

discuss, individually or in groups, which of the 9 essays below is

best, in what respects, and why. If students agree in their selections,

they may be able to develop their own criteria for excellence as a

standard. If they fail to agree, they may discover that there is more

than one way to write a good version of the same essay which may

free them to be more willing to try alternative options in their own

writing with corresponding less fear of experimenting or possible

failure in their writing.

Finally, for this and subsequent assignments, we do not list

exhaustively all the sentence forms used by students. The first four

essays below notate and footnote a representative sample of

sentence forms used by students. The last three essays are

54

presented for direct reading without any notated or footnoted

forms. All together, such a sample is adequate to demonstrate the

value of the Sentence Forms without undue overload.

ESSAY PARAGRAPH Constructionby Gereld Malec

What’s in a paragraph you say? Your first response maybe, “Who cares? A paragraph is only there to break upthe words now and then.” 1 Well, you’re pretty muchright, but keep in mind the paragraph serves a higherpurpose in the written essay. Bear in mind, too, thereare many ways to construct them.2

The paragraph groups related sentences together toform ideas; it forms ideas tying into others; it gives yourreader places to take breaks.3 Paragraphs signal keychanges in your thesis, and help you, the writer, andyour reader organize and clarify ideas, thoughts, andinsights.4 You can use paragraphs to introduce pointssupporting your essay’s central idea, to introduce keyexamples, shift focus, or illustrate a problem andsolution.

Every paragraph usually has in it a topic sentence – asentence that gives you the gist of the paragraph itself.5While you would generally use a topic sentence at thebeginning, you can also place it in the middle, or on theend of the paragraph to create certain effects.

A topic sentence at the beginning is a road sign: it givesyou a brief glance at what you’ll find in the paragraphitself.6 Placing the topic sentence at the end makes yourreaders first view the facts, form their thoughts, andthen hopefully arrive at the same conclusion normallystated in a beginning topic sentence.7 So why place thetopic sentence at the end? Because by doing so you canbuild suspense and interest, and then end by placingthe topic sentence in the power position of maximumattention at the end of the paragraph.

55

Sometimes, the central idea isn’t really stated at all inthe paragraph – it’s obvious. This style of meshing thetopic sentence in the mix of the paragraph is widelyused in dramatic or descriptive writing.8

When you begin scripting out your essay, it can bedifficult to tell how each paragraph will unfold once thewriting juices kick in.9 But once you do get yourthoughts out, and have a pretty good idea where yourpaper is heading, don’t look at it for at least a half-hour.Take your mind off of it completely. Take a coffeebreak.10 BS with friends, but don’t be too long about it.Once you’ve given yourself a breather, you can beginrevising your paragraphs for clarity with a fairly freshframe of mind. See, wasn’t this a good transitionalparagraph?11 It gave you a break, didn’t it?

When you sit back down to revise, you’re looking to giveyour paragraphs a sense of unity and coherence. What Imean by this is that each paragraph will containsentences tying into one another, supporting youressay’s main idea, tying into the next paragraph, and soon.12

But more times than not, many paragraphs are writtenwith choppy and incomplete sentences which do more toconfuse your reader than to help them follow along withwhat you’re trying to say. So when you go to revise youressay, really give each paragraph a good going over.Read out loud to yourself to see where you can possiblyuse parallel structures, repeat words, or restate wordsor word groups, pronouns, and transitionalexpressions.13

Just as you want to check your paragraphs for clarity,you should also look at how you want to organize themas well.14 You can organize them by using space andtime, focusing your reader’s attention on one point andthen scanning a person, object, or scene from thatpoint. You can also organize for emphasis, or use ageneral-to-specific scheme, writing your paragraphs towhere the topic sentence comes first with the followingsentences becoming increasingly specific. As you begin

56

to hammer out the details, you can further remind yourreader of what your piece is about by repeating orrestating words or word groups.15 And to give it thatextra flair, you can try using some pronouns to give itmore personality.

Wow!16 You’ve done it!17 You’ve completed your essayexcept for one last thing – the closing paragraph. It canbe hard to put the wraps on a subject, so here are acouple of helpful strategies to help you do just that.18

Try giving a symbolic or powerful fact or other detail.19And a popular way to do so, depending on the essay, isto try recommending a course of action, or restatingyour thesis and its implications. What you don’t want todo is cop out and simply restate your introduction, orstart off in a new direction altogether.20 You also don’twant to apologize, or make disclaimers trying to statewhy your paragraph wasn’t as strong as it should havebeen, or why it lacked details.

Hopefully, this piece has given you some insight on theimportance of paragraphs and their uses; therefore, youcan go about using these pointers to write an effectiveessay.21 And if you look back at your textbook, if youreview your notes, if you ask your instructor forguidance, you can’t go wrong. Good luck, and happywriting.

Sentence Forms (a representative few, a kind of

formspotting):

1) 10TP E Quotation; 3V Infinitive; 2S The Pair2) 11ADD Beginning Verb; 10TP M Word; 3V Infinitive3) 3V Past Participle; 3V Infinitive (2); 9PP Trio Semicolon;

3V Present Participle4) 11ADD Compound Verb (2); 2S Standard Series5) 9PP Dash M Appositive; 8RN That6) 9PP Explanation Colon; 8RN What7) 3V Gerund; 3V Infinitive missing to; 2S Standard Series;

3V Past Participle8) 3V Gerund; 2S Choice Series9) 7AC When; 3V Gerund; 3V Infinitive; 8RN How; 7AC

When

57

10)11ADD Beginning Verb11)11ADD Beginning Verb; 1ADD Question12)8RN What; 8RN That; 3V Present Participle (3); 2S Triple

Force13)11ADD Beginning Verb; 3V Infinitive; 11ADD Compound

Verb; 2S Choice Series; 2S Standard Series extended14)4C Just As, So; 3V Infinitive (2); 8RN How15)7AC Asl 3V Infinitive; 8RN What; 3V Gerund (2); 2S

Choice Series (2)16)11ADD Exclamation using Other kind of word;17)11ADD Exclamation18)3V Infinitive (2); 6CC So19)11ADD Beginning Verb; 2S Choices Series20)8RN What; 3V Infinitive; 11ADD Compound; 2S Choice

Series21)10TP B Word; 2S The Pair; 9PP Expansive Semicolon; 3V

Present Participle; 3V Infinitive

WRITING AND REVISING PARAGRAPHS

BY RICO MENDIOLA

To make something look more organized, it is best toseparate items into groups.1 For example, if you want toorganize your clothes, you might put underwear andsocks in one drawer, jeans and sweatpants in anotherdrawer, and shirts and shoes in your closet.2 The sameis true when you are writing an essay. By separatingyour topic into paragraphs, you can make your essaylook more organized and well-written. A paragraph is agroup of related sentences separated from all othersentences. In an essay, paragraphs are used to shiftfrom one supporting idea of the essay’s thesis to anothersupporting idea.3 There are five very important factorsyou must know to ensure that you write paragraphseffectively in your essays.

The first factor is maintaining paragraph unity.Paragraph unity is achieved by stating a point and

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explaining that one point to the reader.4 Just as youressay should focus solely on one specific point (yourthesis), so too your paragraphs should focus on onepoint.5 The main point of a paragraph is revealed in itstopic sentence, which can be positioned at the beginningof a paragraph or at the end. If your topic sentenceappears at the beginning of a paragraph, detailssupporting the topic sentence should follow.6 Thiscatches your reader’s attention, and it effectivelyexplains your paragraph. If your topic sentence is at theend, you give the reader all supporting evidence first,and then give the general statement that the evidencesupports. Sometimes details are given in a paragraph,but the topic sentence is not stated; therefore, it isimplied. 7

The second factor is paragraph coherence. A paragraphis coherent if a reader can easily understand how thesentences in a paragraph are related without having toread them again.8 You can achieve paragraphcoherence in six ways. First, you must organize yourparagraph properly. You can organize paragraphs byputting details in order – order of occurrence, order ofappearance, or in order of importance.9 Second, youcan use parallel structures, which use similargrammatical structures for similar elements of meaning.Thirdly, you can make your paragraph coherent byrepeating words and word groups, thus reminding yourreader of the topic.10 The fourth way to achievecoherence is to use pronouns. This helps the readerrelate the sentences. The fifth way is to be consistent. Ifyour paragraph takes place in the past, then all verbsshould be in the past tense. Lastly, use specific words orword groups to relate sentences whose relationshipsmay not be clear.

The third factor in writing good paragraphs is to developthem. You can develop and complete a paragraph bygiving specific facts and evidence. You can also do so byusing certain patterns. Narration is a pattern that retellshow something happened.11 Description tells in detailhow something looks, sounds, feels, smells, or tastes.12

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Illustration and support are patterns that give examplesor reasons of an issue. Definition is a pattern thatexactly explains what something is. Division andanalysis are patterns that list parts or characteristics ofan issue. Classification lists groups of categories of asubject. Comparison and contrast are patterns showingsimilarities or differences of two related topics. Analogyis a pattern you can use to compare one issue toanother issue that is more familiar to the reader. Cause-and-effect analysis shows the reason for something orhow something works by using the process analysispattern. You can use one of these patterns to developyour paragraph, or you can combine patterns.

The fourth factor is using special kinds of paragraphsthat serve special functions: to introduce an essay, toconclude an essay, to show emphasis or transition, toshow spoken dialogue.13 An introductory paragraph inan essay is a usually short paragraph, which grabs yourreader’s attention to your subject, states your topic,implies your attitude concerning the subject, and oftenstates your thesis. A conclusion paragraph completes anessay and can contain a summary of the essay, a call toaction, or an echo of your thesis.14 It lets the readerknow that you are finished writing, and the reader candraw his or her own conclusions afterwards. Anemphatic paragraph stresses an idea or point strongly,so the reader might stop and really think about thatidea before continuing. A transitional paragraph shiftsyour audience’s attention when your essay makes asignificant turn. In dialogue, new paragraphs show thata different person is speaking.15

The last factor to writing paragraphs is properly andeffectively linking them. There are four ways to ensurethat your paragraphs are correctly linked. One way is tomake sure each paragraph contributes to your thesis.16Paragraphs cannot stand on their own, for they are partof a whole. Another way to link paragraphs properly isto keep a consistent overall pattern of development foryour essay. A third way is to arrange your paragraphs insome kind of order. The final way to correctly link your

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paragraphs is to repeat key terms in your paragraphs tocreate an easily understood connection betweenthem.17

Maintaining paragraph unity, achieving paragraphcoherence, developing each paragraph, using specialparagraphs, and linking paragraphs properly – these arethe five factors needed to write paragraphs properly andefficiently when writing an essay. If you take thesefactors into account, if you use them correctly, if youpractice using them in your writing, then you will haveno trouble writing an organized essay.18 I have foundthem extremely helpful.19

Sentence Forms (formspotting):

1) 10TP B Verbal Phrase Infinitive; 3V Infinitive2) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase3) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase; 3V Infinitive; 3V Past

Participle; 4C From to4) 3V Gerund (2); 11ADD Compound Object of Preposition

using Verbal Gerunds5) 4C Just As, So Too; 10TP M (Appositive Phrase)6) 7AC If; 3V Present Participle7) 6CC But; 9PP Expansive Semicolon8) 7AC If; 8RN How; 3V Gerund9) 3V Gerund; 9PP Dash E List; 5R Keyword; 2S Choices10)10TP B Word; 3V Gerund; 2S The Pair; 10TP E Adverb

Phrase11)8RN That; 8RN How12)8RN How; 2S Choices Series extended13)3V Gerund; 8RN That; 9PP Numeric Precursor; 3V

Infinitive (4)14)11ADD Compound Verb; 2S Choices Series15)10TP B Prepositional Phrase; 8RN That16) 3V Infinitive17)3V Infinitive (3)18)7AC If (3);3V Gerund; 3V Present Participle; 3V Past

Participle19)1F Object

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WRITING PARAGRAPHS by Rita Bennett

“Different strokes for different folks.” This phrase isrepresentative of our diverse culture. We all differ fromone person to the next – our style of clothing, ourhairstyle, our lifestyle, and especially our style of writingparagraphs.1 Some people might write well in thenarrative, which tells how or when something happened.Some people might write well in the descriptive, whichtells in detail the tastes, smell, or feel of something orsomeone.2 Some people might use the illustrative andsupportive style, which require examples and reasons.Others might find that explaining and definingsomething is their style.

There are three things that need close attention inwriting paragraphs: Unity, Coherence and Paragraphconnection.3

Paragraph unity is maintained when your topic is statedand supplemented with supporting facts.4 The topic ofyour paragraph can appear in the beginning of theparagraph, with its supporting details following, or thedetails can come first, followed by the topic. When thetopic is not clearly stated, the supporting facts that arepresented can imply the topic.

Paragraphs come together coherently when sentencesflow together with ease. This is achieved by the properuse of pronouns, by the use of parallel structure (theuse in succession of a grammatical structure of wordswith similar meaning), and by the use of words or groupof words repetitively.5 The previous sentence is a goodexample of parallel structure and repetition. In this way,the points are more clearly seen, noticed, andunderstood.6

Linking your paragraphs to each other is a veryimportant part of developing your paragraphs.7 This isobtained by making sure that the thesis of your essay isapparent in all the paragraphs. Deviation from the mainthesis will break the link, and thus leave the paragraphand the readers out in left field.8 Another way to reachthis objective is to use the same overall pattern

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throughout your paragraph. Also, by arranging yourparagraphs in order of occurrence, order of appearance,or order of importance, a clear connection between themwill be achieved.

Just as a movie or a story has a beginning and anending, so too must your essay.9 These paragraphs thatindicate the beginning and end of your essay are calledspecial paragraphs. Another special paragraph, thetransitional paragraph, can be used to shift yourreader’s attention to another focus without losingthem.10

The dialogue paragraph can be used to show that morethan one person is speaking.11 Special paragraphsoften provide an enticement in the beginning for thereader to engage fully with the essay or develop furtherlingering thoughts not fully developed in an earlierparagraph.12

The style of your writing depends on your personalpreference: you can write funny essays or seriousones.13 It doesn’t matter what style you choose; whatmatters is that the paragraphs that you are writingmust maintain unity, must be coherent, and they mustconnect to each other just like the caboose of a train. Ifyou don’t succeed at first, remember that practicemakes perfect.14


1) 9PP Dash E List; 5R Word; 2S Standard Series2) 8RN Which; 2S Choices Series; 2S Choice Series3) 9PP Numeric Precursor Colon4) 7AC When; 11ADD Compound Verb; 3V Present

Participle5) 2S Standard Series; 5R Word; 10TP M (Appositive

Phrase); 2S Choice Series6) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase; 2S Standard Series7) 3V Gerund (2)8) 11ADD Compound Verb9) 4C Just as, so too; 2S The Pair10)3V Infinitive; 3V Gerund11)3V Infinitive; 8RN That

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12)3V Verbal Infinitive; 11ADD Compound Verb Main Verb;3V Present Participle; 3V Past Participle

13)9PP Explanation Colon; 2S Choice Series14)7AC If; 8RN That

WRITING AND RESOLVING PARAGRAPHSby Brandie Stevens

Paragraphs are used for many things and manydifferent reasons. The definition of a paragraph is agroup of related sentences set off by an indentation orextra spacing.1 They give people breathers, so it doesnot feel as if they are being rushed through the paper.2It does this by maintaining paragraph unity andachieving paragraph coherence, developing theparagraph and special kinds of paragraphs, and linkingparagraphs in the essay.3

Maintaining paragraph unity is very important. Readers– your professor, anyone else who might read – expect aparagraph to explore and clearly elaborate one ideaonly.4 The paragraph needs to be focused on the centralidea. If the paragraph is going to be about the home runmade in last night’s game, it should not talk about thehome run Joe should have hit in 1960.5 The topicsentence states what the paragraph is going to be aboutto keep the writer from wandering. The central idea canbe stated in a topic sentence at the beginning or at theend or not stated at all.

Another thing just as important as paragraph unity isachieving paragraph coherence. When a paragraph canhold together, it is unified. When the readers can seehow it holds together, it is coherent.6 The sentences in aparagraph need to be related to each other, or theycannot be read without having to stop and be reread.7Coherence can be achieved by organizing effectively,

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using parallel structures, repeating or restating wordsor word groups, using pronouns, being consistent, andusing transitional expressions.

There are different ways a paragraph can be organized:by space or time or emphasis.8 Spatially organizingfocuses readers’ attention on one point; readers canscan a person or object or scene from that point.9Organizing chronologically places elements in the orderof their occurrence in time from earliest to the mostrecent. Ways to organize for emphasis include goingfrom general-to-specific, problem-to-solution, mostfamiliar-to-least familiar, simplest-to-most complex.10

Using parallel structures is another way to achievecoherence; therefore, the structures help tie together theparagraph by using similar grammatical structure forsimilar elements of meaning among sentences.11Parallelism does not necessarily have to be used in everyparagraph.

Repeating or restating words or word groups remindsthe readers what the topic is, and using pronouns – he,she, it, they, who – helps relate sentences to oneanother. But the most subtle way to achieve coherencyis being consistent.12 Readers seem to always pick upon a lack of consistency. Inappropriate shifts thathappen the most are shifts in tense, shifts in number,shifts in person.

Using transitional expressions – specific words and wordgroups – can help connect sentences whoserelationships are not instantly clear.13 To see wherethey might be needed in the paragraphs, one needs toexamine the flow from one sentence to the next.14When there are abrupt changes – a shift from cause toeffect, a contradiction, a contrast – a transitionalexpression is most likely needed. A transitionalexpression can also be used between paragraphs.

When a person develops a paragraph, it sometimes islacking in detail.

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Sensory details, facts, statistics, examples, quotations,reasons – all are evidence that readers will expect to beprovided for statements made.15 Whatever helps toprovide evidence to reinforce and prove views and ideasshould be shared with readers.

Another way to help develop a paragraph is using apattern of development. How did it happen? Narrationcan be used to tell about events, usually inchronological order. Description is used to tell aboutwhat something felt like, looked, smelled, sounded, ortasted. It lets the readers sense what it was like. Givingdetailed examples or reasons can develop some ideas.An idea can always be defined and classified intodifferent groups according to its parts torcharacteristics. Other patterns that can be used arecomparison and contrast, cause and effect, analogy andprocess analysis. But also remember patterns used fordevelopment can always be combined.

As with anything else, when developing a paragraph,length counts. An average paragraph – 100 to 150 words– is usually four to eight sentences, yet the actual lengthdepends on the topic, position in the essay, and role.Very short paragraphs do not have enough substancesometimes, and extremely long paragraphs sometimestend to wander or have two different topics. So, justremember to revise and add or cut details andinformation when needed.

Several paragraphs that do not follow the rules statedpreviously are the essay introduction, the essayconclusion, the transitional or emphatic paragraph, andthe paragraph of spoken dialogue.

The opening of an essay is one that draws the audiencein. A good one usually focuses attention on the subjectand arouses curiosity, specifies the topic and impliesthe attitude, often states the thesis, and is concise andsincere. Most essays also have a closing statement orconclusion that signals the essay is finished. It canconsist of a single sentence or a group of sentences.Another paragraph that can consist of one or more

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sentences is the emphatic or transitional paragraph. Itlets the reader pause before moving on to an entirelynew topic. The last special paragraph is the dialogueparagraph. New paragraphs – even if they are one or twosentences – can let a reader know when one personstops talking and the next one begins.

The last thing that needs to be done in an essay islinking the paragraphs together. Each paragraph shouldcontribute to the thesis. They should also be arrangedin clear, logical order. Use repetition and restatement,transitional expressions and sentences to create linksbetween paragraphs. All in all, the paragraphs need tofit together to make the essay coherent and flow easily.

Paragraphs are the most essential parts of the essay.One needs to know how to maintain paragraph unityand achieve paragraph coherence, develop theparagraph, use special kinds of paragraphs, and linkthe paragraphs together to form a good essay.


1) 3V Past Participle; 2S Choice Series2) 6CC So; 7AC As If supplemental3) 3V Gerund (4); 2S The Standard Series; 2S The Pair4) 9PP Dash M Appositive Phrase; 8RN Who; 3V Infinitive;

3V Infinitive missing to; 11ADD Compound Infinitive5) 7AC If; 3V Infinitive; 8RN Missing that6) 7AC When; 8RN How7) 3V Infinitive (3); 6CC Or; 3V Gerund8) 9PP List Colon; 2S Choices9) 3V Gerund; 9PP Explanation Colon10)3V Infinitive; 3V Gerund; 2S Triple Force extended11)3V Gerund (2); 3V Infinitive; 9PP Expansive Semicolon;

3V Infinitive missing to12)11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 3V Infinitive; 3V Gerund13)3V Gerund; 9PP Dash M Appositive Series; 3V Infinitive

Missing to; 8RN Whose14)3V Infinitive (2); 8RN Where; 4C From To

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More on Types or Forms of the ParagraphIf an instructor wishes to provide students with additional

varied effective models of the types or forms of the paragraph

– à la narrative, descriptive, expository, process, etc – so that

students can practice writing those various types, there is no

better book to consult than Pellegrino’s A Writer’s Guide to

Powerful Paragraphs.

In fact, Pellegrino has done for the paragraph exactly

what the New Angle on Writing has done for the

sentence. The New Angle on Writing provides a systematic

definition and description of all the Forms of the Sentence,

with accompanying models, first with examples of isolated

sentences, and then above all, as incorporated in actual

paragraphs and essays. Likewise, Pellegrino provides a

systematic definition and description of all the types of

Paragraphs with accompanying models of all the

paragraphs.

Therefore, our book, the Pellegrino book, and the necessary

third component of the traditional definitions and descriptions

of Essay forms as narrative, descriptive, etc, provide altogether

– as a threesome and for the first time – entirely adequate and

effective models for every level and stage of writing instruction.

At long last, we have a complete and dramatically effective

writing program for all grades and levels of instruction.

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INSTRUCTIONS

Since students have now studied The Writing Course or

Path and completed their own essays about the

Paragraph, they now have the task of writing an

exposition essay about The Writing Course or the Writing

Process as a whole, using the earlier chart about the

Writing Course as a guide.

Once again, they should employ various sentence forms

at their own discretion in their essay, notating and

footnoting a representative sample of the ones they

have used. Seven of the essays that follow show the

formspotting the students employed. We have left 4 of

the essays free of the form codes in case instructors and

students would like to use them as models on which to

practice Form identification.

Below is a second chart called The Writing Puzzle which

provides students another structural guide for writing

their essays. This is not a sequential, step-by-step guide;

instead, all 5 triads should be kept in mind,

concurrently as well as recursively, during the research

and writing sessions.

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THE PUZZLE by Ronald Wright

When I was a young boy in school – elementary, juniorhigh, and high school – I didn’t like to write, nor did Iunderstand how the writing process worked. I couldn’tcare less about writers and poets, people like RichardWright, Charles Dickens, Daniel Defoe, Emily Bronte, oreven William Shakespeare.1 Writing never caught myeye, my attention, my interest. I thought that writingwas as boring as sitting on the corner of a roof with myarms out to my side, waiting for birds to come and landon them. It wasn’t until I attended my fourth college (at31 years of age, while being stationed at Chinhae, Koreaafter being in the Navy for more than four-and-a-halfyears) that I started getting into writing: the styles ofwriting, the mechanics of writing, the emotions ofwriting, and even the history of writing.2 I came torealize that writing is full of thrills, full of delight, full ofinspiration.3 And, with the meticulous and numerousways of gathering information, this brought me to mytitle – The Puzzle.

I didn’t want to write strictly on just how the writingprocess worked; indeed, I wanted to write about how theformative steps of writing go. When I write, it makes mefeel like I’m putting pieces of a puzzle together. Whoeverreads my writing will know exactly what my puzzlemeans.4

This puzzle consists of five boundary areas: the writingsituation, the writing process, the thesis statement,paragraph development, and essay organization.5 Eachboundary area has three pieces. The writing situationfocuses on the writer, knowing his or her subject, andknowing his or her audience – starting to analyze thepuzzle before you put it together. The writing processdeals with pre-writing, involves making a rough draft,and is like sorting pieces of the puzzle according to colorand edge shape. Proper drafting is when one imposeslimitations on the possibility conceived in the first draft,and the essay begins to have order imposed on it.6 Thethesis talks about finding the big wave or theme from

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ideas that roll in from the sea of facts. The paragraphdevelopment addresses unity, coherence, and cohesion.After the puzzle is put together, you then must look at itand make sure that sentences make sense and gotogether. Last but not least, we have the area essayorganization, where we check the beginning, the middle,and the end, making sure that the puzzle overall is puttogether properly and efficiently.

Now, you see why I call this paper The Puzzle because Ifeel that if you can master a puzzle, I am not saying thatyou’ll be a perfect writer, but you can now write adecent report, a decent essay, and a decentrecommendation.7 Not everybody in life grows upwriting, but it’s never too late to work on becoming abetter writer or poet. I will always realize that writing –just like puzzles – are not easy, but that practice makesperfect, and that the more you write, the better you’ll be.Puzzles are always fun.

Sentence Forms:

1) 10TP E Appositive Phrase2) 9PP Explanation Colon3) 5R Keyword4) 8RN Whoever supplemental5) 9PP Numeric Precursor Colon6) 8RN When7) 5R Keyword

THE WRITING COURSE by Rosemarie Ciccariello

Staring thoughtlessly and intently at the blank sheet ofpaper, you may find yourself asking two questions:where do I start and how do I begin?1 There is only onesimple answer to these questions – the writing course.The writing course will effectively guide you in writingthat perfect paper you could only dream of writing. It isa step by step process containing five parts: writingsituation, writing process, the thesis statement,paragraph development, and essay organization. Once

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you thoroughly master and understand each step, yourwriting will dramatically improve.2

The first step, the writing situation, contains three parts:the author, the subject, and the audience; these are alllinked to one another. The first obstacle you want toovercome is finding what you want to write about. Notonly do you need to determine what to write about, butyou also need to determine whom you are writing to –who is your audience? When deciding whom youraudience is, keep in mind the tone of the writing: theattitude conveyed by you, the author; and the effect thewriting will have on your audience. If you don’t keep anyof this in mind, chances are your audience will beoffended and will cast your paper aside.3 Therefore,make sure you have a complete understanding andcomplete knowledge about whom your paper is directedtowards.

The writing process is the next step, and it consists ofthree key factors: pre-writing, drafting, and re-writing.The key to pre-writing is letting go of your mind andwriting down whatever comes to it, not excludinganything. Everything counts, so span out in yourreading and thinking and devour more on your subject,keeping notes and looking for emerging themes. Onceyou finished pre-writing, you enter the drafting stage. Inthis stage, you splurge; you stream with what you nowknow; you run with the ball, trying of course to keepwithin the pattern of the play and the importantmaterial pertaining to your subject.4 Finally, the laststep is re-writing, and it takes time. In this final stage,you are using the information gathered from theprevious steps and putting structure and organizationand detail in each idea.

After you finish the writing process, the next step is tofind and position your thesis statement. However, beforeyou determine the thesis, you will have to keep in mindthree things: the theme, the ideas, and the facts. First,sort through what you previously wrote and relate it tofacts, statistics, quotations, or excerpts. Through all ofthis, you will find a few ideas in your writing that are of

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most importance; they will lead you in developing yourmain ideas; they will lead you in developing your thesisstatement. Once you find your thesis, you can nowbegin to write your paper in a reasonable manner.5 Youcan do this by using your main ideas to support yourthesis and using the many facts to prove it.

The fourth step, paragraph development, has threeimportant features found within it: unity, coherence,and cohesion. Every paragraph found within yourwriting should be based solely on one topic or idea; thisis unity. If each sentence in your paragraph correlateswith one another, your paragraph has coherence. Youcan do this by placing related ideas with similar relatedideas. Finally, cohesion involves having linkages andtransitions in your writing.6 From sentence to sentenceand paragraph to paragraph, everything should link toone another, and you can do this with either transitionor linking devices.7

The final step is essay organization. You want toorganize your writing into three parts: the beginning,the middle, and the ending. The beginning shouldcapture your audience; it should lure them in; it shouldexpress to them what you are thinking; it should hint atyour main idea. The middle is where your story lies. Ithas all the facts and information pertaining to yourmain idea. It’s the heart of your essay. To make sure theheart of your essay is strong, check for flowingsentences and make sure transitions are effective fromparagraph to paragraph. The last part is the ending; itshould be short and sweet and to the point, relating tothe beginning. It should bring closure to your essay,with a striking quotation or a statement of theimportance and further implications of your theme.8

Thanks to the Writing Process, you will no longer bestaring thoughtlessly at a blank sheet of paper,struggling to find how to start your essay. The WritingProcess should have brought you greater knowledge andan opportunity for you to write better. It gives youinsights into the five important parts to tackle whenwriting – writing situation, writing process, thesis

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statement, paragraph development, and essayorganization.

Sentence Forms:

1) 3V Present Participle2) 7AC Once3) 7AC If4) 9PP Trio Semicolon5) 3V Infinitive6) 3V Gerund7) 4C From to8) 3V Present Participle

THE WRITING COURSE BY DANIEL S. BREGAGLIO

Have you ever had problems writing an essay? I havethe perfect solution for you – the writing course.1 Withthis simple and easy to use method, you can write anoutstanding paper. Using the five simple steps describedin this paper, you can achieve a higher level of standardwhen writing an essay.

The first step in the writing course – the writingsituation – is a key step to writing a good essay. Thewriting situation involves three main factors: the author,the subject, and the audience. Not only must the authorknow the subject, but also write as if he or she is goingto give a speech.2 Whether the paper is going to begiven as a speech or not, the author must write it as if itwill be. Whenever the composition is being read, thereader should be able to hear and feel what the writer issaying. The more the author identifies with theaudience, the more the audience will be able to relate tohim or her.3

The second step in the writing course – the writingprocess – is a cyclic process. The writing process hasthree steps: pre-writing, drafting, and rewriting. Beforethe author can start pre-writing, he or she must openup their mind, writing anything that comes into theirmind about the subject. Then the author must grab,juggle, and organize all of the information that came

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from pre-writing.4 This step is called drafting, and it’swhere the writer gets the basic outline. After the draftingphase, it’s time to bring the paper to life. The re-writingstep is where one adds form, shape, and vitality to thepaper.5 This step of the writing process is veryimportant in writing; therefore, pay special attention notto rush through this step.

The third step in the writing course – the thesisstatement – sorts through what the author has written.This step brings together relevant facts, relevantstatistics, and relevant excerpts.6 There are threedifferent parts to this step: one theme, few ideas, andmany facts. The theme is the main subject that theauthor is writing about, but make sure it’s not toobroad. Once you have decided your theme, you mustresearch, so that you can have some ideas about yoursubject. One you’ve found some ideas, organize them alland pick out the main ideas. As soon as all of the ideasare organized, the author will be able to see whether ornot the main ideas go with the title or thesis. The soonerthe thesis is determined, the sooner the author will beable to clearly introduce the theme. Introducing theideas to back up the theme is the next thing the authorshould do.7 Finally, the writer should state all the facts,statistics, and examples that prove and support theideas.

The fourth step in the writing course – paragraphdevelopment – is where you insure the unity, coherenceand cohesion of your paper. Unity is when you makesure your paragraph doesn’t have more than one topic.If there is more than one topic, the author should splitthe paragraph into two. Coherence is the part ofparagraph development where the author checkswhether or not the statements, facts, or ideas belongtogether. It also checks how each paragraph contributesto the essay. Cohesion is the way that sentences andparagraphs link, attach, and transition between oneanother.8 Transition is very important so that switchingfrom one paragraph to another proceeds smoothly.

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The fifth step in the writing course – essay organization– is the final step in writing the paper. There are threeparts to essay organization: an opening, a body, and aclosing. The opening is very important; it is where youwill draw your reader in, so that the reader can knowwhat your paper is about. The opening is where youshould introduce your thesis.9 The body contains themass of the paper. There should be no useless,irrelevant, unwanted information in the body. The bodyshould flow naturally and with ease; therefore, makesure that all of the sentences and paragraphs transitioncorrectly. The closing should be short, and it shouldbring the reader back to the opening. It should bringtogether all the main ideas of the paper and reiterate themain theme in a novel and memorable way.

After using all of the steps outlined above, you nowshould have a better understanding of how to write apaper or essay. Furthermore, I hope I have helped makewriting a paper easier for you. So, next time you arestressing over a paper, just use this simple course, andyou should have no problems.

Sentence Forms:

1) 10TP E Noun Phrase2) 4C Not only, but3) 4C More -er4) 2S Standard Series5) 2S Standard Series6) 2S Standard Series7) 3V Gerund8) 2S Standard Series9) 8RN Where

DEVELOPING AN ESSAY BY TANISHA L. BRUNS

Although most people will tend to disagree, writing iseasy. We can all put pen to paper and jot down whatevercomes to mind – easy.1 The hard part is organizingthose thoughts, creating well-written, structured

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sentences and paragraphs that support an idea oropinion.

The goal of writing is to take the reader on a ride, toallow her to see and experience the same things youdo.2 In order to get from point A (writing) to point B(organized, structured writing) you will need some sortof transportation. In this case, the “automobile” isunderstanding the writing situation and the writingprocess. The writing situation is usually the cause forwriting. It is the nature of the assignment, the lengthand deadline. Careful consideration of the subject,audience, and purpose allows you to determine how tocommunicate your thoughts on the topic to the reader.

After you understand the situation – who, what, why,how – it is easier to start the writing process. Theprocess consists of all the mental and physical activitiesthat go into writing. It is usually accomplished in threestages: pre-writing, drafting, revising. These stages maybe followed in order; however, for many writers, theyoften overlap and circle back on one another.3

Now that the engine is running, we can give it some gas.Ensuring that we don’t flood the engine, we must limitthe subject.4 A broad subject should be narrowed toadhere to the assignment and deadline. Break thesubject down into as many topics as possible.5 Thenchose the one that most interests you. Draw out a roughsketch of your main ideas and views. This will help todevelop the thesis – the “what”.

Why? The reason behind your need to communicateyour views and thoughts on the topic is termed thepurpose. There are many reasons for writing, but theassignment would be the first and best source. It willask you to explain, discuss, describe, or persuade.6

And now for the “who” and “how”.7 The audience alsoplays an important role in the development of an essay.As the author, you must be aware of them at all times,who they are, what they need from you, and how youwill communicate your ideas to them. Which brings usto the “how”.8 It is the way in which you will present

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your argument, ideas, story to the reader. In otherwords, it is the packaging. We know from experiencethat it is not always what you say, but how it is saidthat gets attention. The audience, topic, and purposewill determine whether the tone will be informal orformal, cheerful or serious.9

The subject has been narrowed to one topic. There aremany methods used to produce ideas and informationthat will further develop the topic and achieve thepurpose of the writing. Some of these techniques are asfollows: keeping a journal, freewriting, askingjournalist’s questions, and reading. A journal – like adiary – is used to record thoughts and observations.Ideas may be pulled from one of the daily entries.Freewriting is a form of writing that allows you to “free”your mind by thinking of the topic, then jotting downevery thought, relevant or not, as it comes to mind. Theonly restriction is that you keep writing; do not stop toreread, make corrections, or edit in any other manner.Asking journalist’s questions about the topic andanswering them is another commonly usedtechnique.10 The questions and answers develop thetopic from a different perspective and help to set thetone based on the facts reinforcing and proving theoverall design or thesis. Reading may be required forsome assignments, such as research papers andsummaries. Again, this may result in a more factualtone than some other techniques. Not all techniques willwork for all topics and writing purposes. Theappropriate technique will depend mostly on the writerhimself and the chosen approach. If one does not work,if it only leads to dead ends, then try another.11

Your automobile is ready to leave the parking lot whenyou realize that it does not have cruise control; youmust use the steering wheel to maneuver. Just as thesteering wheel guides and controls the vehicle, so doesthe thesis for writing. 12 It is the central assertion orargument of the essay. The topic and your attitudetoward it combined will shape the thesis sentence. This

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sentence is often added to the introduction. It lets thereader know what to expect from the composition.

Another important tool during the development phase isorganizing your ideas. Integral characteristics of a well-written composition are unity and coherence. An essaywith well-organized ideas helps to guide the readeralong, showing her how the specific ideas are connectedand ultimately tied to the main idea. The most commontool used to organize ideas and supporting details is theinfamous outline. Most of us are familiar with therigidity of outlines and see them as restrictive. Havingonly viewed them in this manner, most student writershave never been introduced to the many different kindsof outlines. They are not all dull and confining. Scratch,informal, tree diagram, formal outlines – these are someof the different types.13

With regards to structure, the scratch outline is themost basic of the bunch. Used for generallystraightforward essays, it lists the key points and theorder that they will be discussed. The informal outline isa bit more detail oriented. There are key general points;then the supporting specific evidence is listed. Next upwith increasing specificity is the tree diagram.14 Whilethe ideas and details branch out from the main point,the non-linear shape of this outline allows forsupplementation and indefinite extension. This makes iteasier to alter the shape or arrangement of informationduring the draft and revision phases. The moststructured and academically familiar of them all is theformal outline. Formal outlines are used for complextopics that require complex arrangements of ideas, andsupporting detail. Although rigid and friendly, theformal outline provides the greatest form of organizationwith labels and indentions that indicate the importanceof the idea. Ideas are only included if they are supportedwith several pieces of evidence or detail. It helps to clipthe split or loose ends of your paper.15 This ensures thecoherence and unity of your essay.

So now that you are on the road, traveling with a tankfull of gas and a map for direction, it is time to plan the

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rest stops. Do you want to stop based on time ordistance traveled? Your ideas and details are organized;now the question remains what is the best order inwhich to discuss them. Space and time – these areadditional forms of organization used in composition.16Spatial organization is used when describing nouns –people, places, objects. On the other hand, chronologicalorganization portrays events as they occurred in time.The goal in any organization scheme is to be clear,making smooth transitions from one idea to the next.

With this portion just about finished and under yourbelt, you are ready to begin the next phase – drafting.That just adds to the fun and excitement of writing awell-organized composition. Make sure that you seatbeltis fastened and that you observe all of the previouslydiscussed tips on accomplishing this goal. Remember,writing is easy!

So write now the first draft, and then in the final steprewrite your draft, checking for a solid thesis wellsupported with evidence; for good paragraphs withunity, coherence, and cohesion; and for clear andeffective organization. Proofread the final draftthoroughly, improving word choice, grammar, spelling,and punctuation. With the paper now complete, it isready for submission.

Sentence Forms:

1) 8RN Whatever supplemental2) 3V Infinitive3) 9PP Expansive Semicolon4) 3V Present Participle5) 11ADD Beginning Verb6) 2S Choices Series7) 2S The Pair8) 11ADD Fragment9) 2S Standard Series10)3V Gerund (2)11)7AC If (2)12)4C Just As, So13)9PP Dash B Wrap-Up

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14)11ADD Inversion15)3V Infinitive16)9PP Dash B Wrap-Up

WRITING AS AN ART FORM BY JASON WOOLSEY

Writing is an art form. One doesn’t take an hour out ofthe day to write a masterpiece the first time around. Thepaper must be reviewed and heard over and over againin the mind of the writer so that he may understandhow the reader will hear it. In order to write effectivelyand coherently, it is necessary to create a step by stepprocess. The process may be different from writer towriter, considering that not every musician createsmusic in the exact same way. However, the rules shouldnot be thrown out the window, and a certain amount ofattention must be paid to form. The writer mustremember that although he may understand perfectlywhat thoughts he has put down on paper, the readermay not.1

The first step in writing is deciding what to write about.Deciding what to write about does not mean justchoosing the topic. While it is true that the topic maynot always be available to change, the writer must placea part of himself within the work.2 The writer should, insome way, be connected to his work. If the writer canchoose the topic, then he must be sure to make theessay concise and straight-forward, while catching thereader’s interest at the same time. It is too easy to startwriting about one thing and then find that the topic istoo broad to encompass the limits of your work. If hecannot choose the topic, then he must find his own wayof expressing the ideas placed upon his shoulders. Thewriter must find a way to connect with his reader, find away to make the reader see his point of view, find a wayto make the reader come to believe that it is not yourwords that he is reading: they are his own thoughts.3Remembering that a product is being sold can be avaluable asset to the writer. There is a fine line betweenselling out and selling your work.

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Connecting with the audience is the next point ofadvice. Who is the writer writing for? Certainly he doesnot wish to view his own thoughts on paper and that’sthat. Connection, connection, connection – that isarguably one of the more important points of writing.Without connection, you have no reader, and everybodyknows that without a reader, you have no writer. Thewriter must contemplate who his audience is.4 Can theybe approached by different angles and if so what arethey? Which of those angles would the reader connectwith the most and into which of those can the writerfully put himself? Whatever the decision, the writer’sgoal is to convey his ideas clearly to the reader.Remember that what is being said is not so nearly asimportant as what the reader read and heard.

Next comes the thesis.5 Crucial as this step is, it’s notas difficult as it sounds. Once steps one and two havebeen dealt with, the writer has to think of one statementthat would tie the whole work together.6 The thesisstatement can most closely be linked to the beat of asong. Without the beat all you have is pretty notes. Thethesis statement will be what the writer keeps pointingto over and over and over again. The thesis statementshould be placed somewhere near the end of the firstparagraph and should be hit upon multiple times withineach paragraph, no matter how subtly.

Now it’s time to discuss how the paper is put together.First off, the paper will have paragraphs in order toseparate the numerous ideas from each other and thebeginning and ending paragraphs. Each paragraphshould be about five sentences long, but remember thatmost readers and listeners are not counting, so eachparagraph should contain sentence variety.7 The readermust be engaged in the material, and one of the ways todo that is to help the reader forget that he is evenreading, by creating a moving flow in the writing withsmooth transitions. Much like the ebb and flow of theocean, the work must mimic a real person talking asmuch as possible: inflections, tone, and rhythm must allbe heard in the reader’s head. Each paragraph should

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have a rise and fall of information; the new informationto start the new paragraph, the explanation andelaboration of the point, and a wrap up sentence or twoto lead into the next paragraph. The writer mustunderstand that these are all guidelines to follow andnot rules of any kind – for no great form of art was everconstrained by rules.8

Once the paragraphs are completed and a rough drafthas been created, the writer must look over his work inprogress. Deciding the order of paragraphs andrelevance of information is an integral part ofassembling the paper. One must think of the order ofthe paper like the opening or closing statement of alawyer. Lawyers are known for their ability to takepeople on a path of logic without random points (vaguelyrelated though they may be), strewn about the place.Writers comparatively must do the same thing: lead thereader down a path that you chose without allowing thereader to see past the point that you set forth.9 Do notallow the reader to be distracted.10 The best way toaccomplish this goal is to organize the paper in such away that the beat is neither interrupted, nor replacedwith a completely different beat.

Once the paper is written and organized it must be fine-tuned. Paying attention to detail is crucial because it’s agiven that the reader will. Adjusting sentences toaugment the paper or replacing common words withmore powerful ones are just two examples of how to payattention to detail.11 This one aspect above all othersmakes the difference between a good paper and a workof art.

Writing a paper can be a moving experience. Although itis indeed an art form, there are certain guidelines thatshould be adhered to in order to create somethingmemorable. Humans create art to define themselvesagainst all of nature; humans write to create a flow ofwords leading to a symphony of ideas, ending in thetriumphant blaze of realization.12

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Sentence Forms:

1) 8RN That2) 7AC While3) 5R Key Word4) 8RN Who5) 11ADD Inversion6) 7AC Once7) 6CC And8) 9PP Dash Break9) 9PP Explanation Colon10)11ADD Beginning Verb11)8RN How12)11ADD Noun of (3)

THE FIVE STEPS OF THE WRITING PROCESSby Melinda Robertson

We’ve all had the experience of sitting in class when theinstructor utters the two words that can strike terrorinto the hearts of his students. The words ‘essayassignment’ when combined are responsible for morestudent anxiety attacks and sleep loss than any othertwo words (including ‘pop quiz’) ever combined in thehistory of spoken and written language. Many studentshave wasted hours staring at a blank piece of paper,wishing that organized thoughts would start flowing outof their pens magically pre-arranged in such a way as tocreate the elusive “A” paper – only to be severelydisappointed. However, by following a few simple step bystep suggestions, the anxiety, sleep loss, anddisappointment can be removed from the writingprocess.

There are five steps to the writing process: choosing asubject and thesis, choosing ideas that will support yourthesis, organizing and outlining your ideas/paper,developing each paragraph, and then finally rewritingand editing your finished paper. If these steps arefollowed – one at a time – you can be guaranteed to feel

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more confident with the overall quality and content ofyour finished paper.

First, you should choose a subject and develop a thesisstatement for your essay. (If you are writing your essayon an assigned topic, you will need to research thattopic, and when you are comfortable with theinformation you’ve gathered – create your thesisstatement.) The subject you choose should be one thatyou are familiar with, enjoy, and that will appeal to yourtarget audience. Your enthusiasm with the subject willreflect itself in the quality or your writing, and this willmake your essay far more appealing. Once you havechosen your subject, you will need to develop yourthesis statement. The thesis statement is the aspect ofthe subject that you would like to base your essay on, orthe main point that you would like to express to yourreader. This statement is normally comprised of onemain sentence, and will usually appear in the first orsecond paragraph of your essay.

Secondly, you should scribble down any ideas or factsthat you feel will support your thesis statement. Also,write down in any figurative expressions (similes andmetaphors) that you feel will bring substance, texture,and life to your paper. (If your paper is too full of facts –no matter who your audience is – you will lose yourreader.) It is important to let creativity be your guide atthis point. Another word for this process is called“brainstorming.” All of these little pieces of informationwill be sorted, put together, and later organized to formthe body of your essay.

Thirdly, you will need to organize your information andoutline your paper. Organization and outlining is one ofthe more tedious but important parts of your essay. Allpapers must have a definite beginning, middle and anend. The information in your essay must be presentedin a logical fashion so as not to confuse the reader, andto establish a discernable “flow pattern.”

To begin, you will need to organize your information;sort through your list of facts, ideas, and revelations

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and then categorize them by central ideas. For example,small “like” items should be paired with other small“like” items, to form a larger complete “like” concept.Once you have done that, you will need to decide wherethese items should appear (and if they should appear) inthe outline or design of your paper.

To make outlining or designing your essay easier, startwith a clean sheet of paper. On this piece of paper, writedown your thesis statement. Since the thesis statementshould (although it does not have to) appear within thefirst two paragraphs of your essay, this will beconsidered the beginning section. Next, list your chosensupporting concepts under your thesis statement sothat they appear in a logical order and will provide someconnection between the concepts. (Cohesion refers tothe way that the sentences are combined to formsensible and discernable paragraphs, and how thoseparagraphs are linked together to foster a flow patternfor the essay) These concepts are considered to be themiddle section of your essay. And finally, the conclusionor ending of the essay should tie together all the factspresented in the essay with a fitting summary. Once youhave completed your outline, you may proceed to thefourth step in the writing process.

The fourth step in the writing process is paragraphdevelopment. In this section, you will not only write theessay paragraph by paragraph, but you will also selectthe style and set the tone of our essay. You mustconsider your target audience. This is importantbecause you would not use the same style and verbiageto address a classroom full of first graders as you woulda classroom full of rocket scientists.

There are nine basic styles that you may choose from:narrative (tells you story in a chronological order),definitive (defines your subject clearly), descriptive(uses vivid details to describe your subject), persuasive(uses emotion to attempt to convince your reader ofsomething), argumentative (uses logic to attempt tosway your reader), expositive (explains your subject insimple terms without bias), comparing/contrasting

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(compares or contrasts two subjects), classifying (sortsyour subject into categories and explains how and whyit was done), and illustrative (lists examples to supportyour main thesis). One you select a style that you arecomfortable with, and that will appeal to your targetaudience, you may select a tone for your essay.

The tone of your essay is also extraordinarily importantas it will set the stage and prepare the reader for thepresentation. You may choose to present yourinformation in a straight forward manner, using simpleplain English with no embellishments. And that’s fine –depending on the audience that you are attempting toreach and the subject matter that you have to workwith. However, the information may also be presentedusing a comedic, sarcastic, ironic, or even serious tone.The tones may be mixed throughout your essay – but becareful – too many tones may cause your reader to missthe point. Again, the reader as well as the subjectmatter should be considered heavily when deciding on atone. Once you have chosen your style and tone, youmay begin with your paragraph development.

Using your outline as a guide, start developing yourparagraphs. If you feel that an introductory paragraph isneeded prior to the statement of your thesis, write one.Keep in mind that the information that you put in thisparagraph should be an introduction to your main idea,and it should get the reader’s attention. Sometimes, itcan even be a short story that is directly related to thesubject matter in your essay. If there is not goodcohesion between your introductory section and yourthesis statement, your essay will have an unwantedchoppy feel to it, and you may lose your reader beforethe third paragraph.

Attack each concept in the middle part of your essayindividually. When writing each paragraph, make surethat the information that you will be presenting in theparagraph has unity and coherence. Unity andcoherence mean that all of the information beingpresented belongs together. If it does not, theinformation can be split to form separate paragraphs, or

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if the information does not contribute to the essay as awhole, it may be discarded. Each section when writtenmust also have cohesion – again – to avoid thatunwanted choppy feel.

The conclusion paragraph should be brief andsummarize the essay. It should refer back to your thesisstatement or main idea, and tie together all of theconcepts presented in the essay. Once you have finishedwriting the paragraphs, you may proceed to the fifth andfinal stage of the writing process.

The fifth stage of the writing process is rewriting andediting. During this last stage, you will review youressay as a whole to check for unity, coherence, andcohesion as well as punctuation and spelling errors. Ifyou have made a lot of changes to your essay during thewriting process, you may wish to re-write the finalversion in order to avoid duplicate corrections andconfusion.

The best way to check your essay to make sure that ithas unity, coherence, and cohesion is to read it aloud.When read aloud, does it make sense? Does it flowtogether nicely? Is it awkward in some areas? Was therea better way to state something? Is there something thatjust doesn’t belong? If you find that changes arenecessary, make those changes, and then go throughthe process of reading it aloud again. Go through thisprocess as many times as needed until you arecompletely comfortable with the final version.

Once you are happy with the final version of your essay,check it again to make sure that your punctuation andspelling are correct. Make any necessary corrections.

When you have gone through the entire rewriting andediting process, it is important to take a break, and thenreview your essay one final time. Put your paper awaywhile you move on to another activity. Get out of thehouse, go for a long walk, visit the mall and do someshopping – anything to get your mind off of your essay.After you’re done with the other activity, take anotherlook at your finished essay. Read it aloud again. Does it

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still sound okay? Is it organized? Does it need additionalpruning? Also, check your spelling and punctuationagain. Make any necessary final changes to your essay.At this point your essay assignment should be completeand ready to turn in.

By following the five steps of the writing process – oneby one – the anguish can be removed from the dreaded‘essay assignment.’ Please note that these five steps aremerely suggestions to get you started and are notchiseled in stone. Perhaps, once you are morecomfortable and have more experience with writing, youmay develop your own method. Until then, thesesuggestions should work. Good luck with your project.

THE WRITING COURSE by Betty Warren

The Writing Situation: Every English book will tell youthe same thing: know your audience. If you don’t knowyour audience, you need to figure it out, or at the veryleast take a good guess. An example would be thisEnglish class; we are college students now, so please donot address us as you would elementary schoolstudents.

Be creative! Just because this is an assignment, doesn’tmean it can’t be fun. Show some emotion; put yourheart into it, or better yet, maybe a little humor. We canall do it, it’s inside of us. Just think it, and then write itdown.

And most importantly, say it like you mean it. Speak tous through your words. The most enjoyable books I haveever read are the ones where it feels as if the writer isspeaking to me directly. You can close your eyes for amoment and hear every word. Nobody wants to readsomething flat, monotone, and boring.

The writing Process: I personally believe that there aremany steps to the writing process; however, I do notalways agree with the ones taught to us. We all have

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different “triggers”, or things to get us started, and mineare simply not the ones listed in the school books.

Before I write anything, I think about it briefly, and thenjust let it flow from there. I usually write about the firstthing that comes to mind, or about a recent experiencethat has left an impression on me. If I need to writeabout a subject that requires research, I‘ll research,memorize, and write. For me, it’s all about letting thewords flow on their own.

Occasionally I get stumped – as we all do – and in thatcase I walk away and think. Even though I might knowexactly what I want to say, somehow putting it on paperjust won’t work. Don’t fight this; it will only frustrateyou more. Instead of struggling over the next sentence,let it come to you. Once you have that one greatsentence, trust me, the rest comes naturally.

The Thesis Statement: The thesis statement issomething I have been struggling with for days now.This is listed as step three in “The Writing Course”; Ibelieve it should be step one. I don’t know if I amstubborn and set in my “writing ways”, or if I am simplynot learning the steps properly, but I do know this: Icannot start writing something without a central themeor axis.

Before I ever attempt to put words to paper, I am armedwith the facts. I need to know everything I can possiblyknow about my subject. I might take down a few keysentences that I will use, but then I just start writingand let it go where it does. I truly struggle to attemptwriting any other way. In fact I’m doing it now. I havedeviated from my first draft, and am just writing. Is thisa major writing flaw?

The Paragraph Development: The paragraphdevelopment should be the easiest part of the writingexperience. A good test is this: when you stop, or thatidea or line of thought comes to an end, you are usuallyat the end of a paragraph. When or if that doesn’t workfor you, it should be a simple matter of reading throughwhat you’ve already written, and identifying which

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statements or sentences don’t belong where they are. Itall needs to blend and flow smoothly, and all be relatedto the same thing. I suppose the one exception to thiswould be the “link” between two paragraphs. I would notrecommend anything drastic, just a small phrase orshort sentence that leads to the next paragraph. Maybesome clue, or a hint at what’s coming next.

The Essay Organization: Now we’re into the fun stuff!The opening should always leave the reader wanting toknow more. You obviously need to let them know whereyou’re going with the story, but try not to give too muchaway. If you do, there is absolutely no point in readingfurther. Would you tell someone the punch-line beforethe joke? No, so don’t make that mistake here.

The central portion is the “meat and bones” of yourstory. If you need to re-write this over and over to makeit flow smoothly, it’s well worth the time. Sometimeschanging a simple word will make a major difference. Ipersonally could not survive this stage without a goodthesaurus. But whatever you do – don’t overdo it. Thisdoes, after all, need to sound like you. And yes, we doknow what you sound like!

As the end gets near, you need to wrap it up. Close thedeal. Let us know it’s the end, but bring us back subtlyto where we started, yet with finality.

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Narrative Essay

Instructions:

After reading and analyzing various narrative model

essays by former students, we give students the assignment of

composing a narrative essay of their own, either factual or

fictional in nature.

Below are some examples of narrative essays by

students which may be used as models for other students to

follow in their assignment.

Not all sentence forms used have been spotted and

identified. A representative sampling serves to adequately

remind the reader of the prevalence of such forms in all good

writing.

IS THIS LOVE? by Matthew Ormita

I like to believe in love and romance. It’s such abeautiful thing. Finding our equal, our missing half, oursoul mate – we have all thought about it, dreamed aboutit, and hoped for it.1

My best friend, Erwin Lopez, was a hopeless romantic.He’d sit around for hours on end and talk about “her”:his dream girl, his soul mate. He didn’t know who shewas, but he was certain that she was out there, waitingfor him.2 And he intended to stay faithful to her,whoever she was, until they finally met each other. Hewas so serious about it. He never even hugged any girlsexcept for his mother and sisters; he saved every otherounce of affection and care within him for “the one.”3 Iused to always laugh at him, joke with him, and callhim a softie.4 I’d say. “You’re never gonna find her,dude.” However, one day he did, or at least, he believedhe did.5

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Lilah Carmichael – that’s who she was, that was hername, Erwin’s supposed soul mate. She was a new girlin town. Erwin met her in English class, and from whathe told me, the two of them clicked from the very firstsecond. At first glance, she wasn’t much to look at, butwhen I finally met her, I could see why Erwin was sosmitten.6 She always looked tired, dazed, confused, andsad, but one smile from her could turn your worst dayinto your best. Lilah was a sweet girl; she was very kindand very innocent. There was also something verysensual about her, even though she was Miss Goody-Two-Shoes in Keds.7 She was different from the rest ofthe girls, and Erwin was madly in love with her, or atleast, he thought he was.

Erwin didn’t ask Lilah on a date – he didn’t even tell herhe liked her.8 He was determined to get her, but at thesame time, he was scared out of his wits to tell her hisfeelings. So instead, he did a lot of the traditional sweetthings for her: bought her candy, cleaned her house, fedher dog.9 He did these things hoping she would pick upthe hint, but she didn’t. It didn’t seem to bother Erwinmuch at first, but after five months, he began to getreally frustrated. And a little after that fifth month, itseemed Lilah did not even know who he was.

The next month was hell for Erwin, and for me. All hecould talk about was, “Lilah this, Lilah that, Lilah’sdriving me mad, Lilah hurt me bad.”10 He would just goon and on and on about her. Erwin was tortured overher. He couldn’t talk, think of, sing of nothing but Lilah.Obsession – not love – was what Erwin had for Lilah.11And to make matters worse, Lilah had another boyseeking her affections – David Allman.

David and Lilah got really close over a short period oftime. They would go to the movies together, they’d go forwalks together, and they’d hang out at her house tillpast midnight.12 They were almost inseparable. Davidhad everything going for him: good looks, smoothcharm, popularity.13 Lilah’s family loved him; they’dinvite him to dinner and family outings. He would evengo golfing with her parents. It seemed like David and

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Lilah were already dating, and it seemed that Erwincould do nothing to stop it.

I couldn’t stand seeing my best friend miserable all thetime, so one day I confronted Lilah after school to getthe facts straight.14 She didn’t like David the way wethought she did; however, she did like Erwin, but shewas confused about a bunch of things. What thesethings were I hadn’t the slightest clue. She was alwaysconfused. So I called her stupid and told her how Erwinwas crazy about her. She got really red in the face andsmiled. She asked me where he was and when I toldher, she drove off to go look for him.15

Erwin came to school the next day with a gigantic smileon his face; I knew something really good must havehappened. He and Lilah had gone to a secluded park inthe mountains to talk.16 He told her about everything:his sleepless nights thinking of her, his late night walksalone, the wishes he made on very visible star just to bewith her.17 She cried a little and held on to him for therest of the day. He never went into detail abouteverything else that happened in the park. All he toldme was that all of his sweetest dreams combined couldnever compare to that one day.

Lilah and Erwin never officially asked each other out,but they were finally together, and I couldn’t have beenhappier. They were always together, and if they weren’t,they were on the phone with each other. It seemedErwin and Lilah had found true love with one another;however, the dream wasn’t going to last for very long.18David had pushed himself right back into the picture,and the bond between Lilah and Erwin slowly began tobreak. Lilah began to ignore Erwin again; Erwin wasmiserable again. David, Lilah’s confusion andinnocence, Erwin’s confusion and frustration – theywere all factors in the break-up.19 She was back withDavid again, and this time, they were more than justfriends.

After about another year, Erwin finally got over her. Hestopped calling her, and he finally stopped talking about

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her.20 He stopped being the hopeless romantic pussand became an alcohol-guzzling regular like the rest ofus. He talked bad about Lilah. He said things like, “Idon’t know what the hell I saw in her.” And “I don’twanna have anything to do with that dumb girl” But oneday, about four months ago, she called him. She wassobbing, and she had called to apologize for how badshe had treated him.21

Even though he had built up so much hatred for herinside of him, the sound of her quivering voice meltedhim.22 He met with her that same day, and the two gotcaught up on old times and present times. She saidDavid had grown tired of her and left for Europe. It alsoturned out that she was leaving in a few weeks forKentucky. Though they hadn’t talked for over a year, hernews saddened Erwin.23

Even after all this time, Erwin still had a soft spot forLilah. The two spent every last minute she had left inour town together, but both of them knew not to try foranything more than friendship.24 They were both verynice people; they just weren’t right for each other. Asfriends, they were great together; as lovers, they werewrong together.

They realized it.25 They were not soul mates, but theywere good friends, and they would always have an opendoor for one another. That was valuable enough for theboth of them. They said their good-byes to each other,and she was gone.26

Erwin still carries Lilah’s picture with him, and he stilltalks about her every once in awhile. He still believes intrue love and all that good stuff, but he says he realizesnow, that it’s not going to come to him right away. Itwon’t just happen. It’ll take time and work to buildtrust, faith, and eventually, love.27 Oh well, I don’tknow. Personally, I think he’s too young to be thinkingso much about this stuff.28

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Sentence Forms:

1) 9PP Dash B Wrap-up; 3V Present Participle; 2S TripleForce; 2S Standard Series

2) 8RN Who; 6CC But; *RN That; 3V Present Participle3) 9PP Association Semicolon; 2S The Pair (2); 11ADD Noun

of4) 2S Standard Series5) 10TP B Word; 6CC Or; 8RN Missing that6) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase; 6CC But; 7AC When; 8RN

Why7) 7AC Even though8) 9PP Dash Break9) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 10TP B Word; 9PP

Numeric Precursor Colon; 2S Triple Force10)8RN Missing that; 10TP E Insertion Quotation11)9PP Dash Noun Phrase; 8RN What12)5R Keyword; 2S Standard Series13)9PP Explanation Colon; 2S Triple Force14)3V Gerund; 6CC So; 3V Infinitive15)8RN Where; 6CC And; 7AC When; 3V Infinitive16)2S The Pair; 3V Past Participle; 3V Infinitive17)9PP Explanation Colon ??; 3V Present Participle; 8RN

Missing that; 3V Infinitive18)9PP Expansive Colon; 3V Infinitive19)9PP B Wrap-up; 2S The Pair (2); 2S Standard Series20)6CC And; 3V Gerund (2)21)6CC And; 3V Infinitive; 8RN How22)7AC Even though; 3V Present Participle23)7AC Though24)8RN Missing that; 6CC But; 3V Infinitive25)1F Object26)6CC And27)2S The Pair; 3V Infinitive; 2S Standard Series28)10TP B Word; 8RN Missing that; 3V Infinitive

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WHERE IS THE BAG? by Helen Wu

This is the first time for us to live in a foreign country.1We are renting an apartment which is quite isolatedfrom any shopping centers or supermarkets. We don'thave a car either. So we must go on a very, very longbus ride when going shopping.2

One day, my father went to the supermarket. He boughttwo bags of food. One bag was filled with fruit andvegetables. The other bag had some ingredients in it,such as oil, sugar, salt, and soy sauce.3 He also wascarrying an envelope with some files in it.

During the long bus trip home, my father felt very sleepyand fell asleep. When he woke up, he found that the bushad reached the stop where he should get off.4 Hepicked up the two bags in a hurry, and jumped off thebus. After the bus left, he realized that the envelope wasstill on the bus.5 My father decided to take another busto the end of the route and to get the envelope from thebus there.6

But he didn't want to take the two bags with him.7 Helooked around, and saw that no one was around. He hidthe bags behind a big tree, hidden also by somebushes.8 Then he got on another bus.9 But when hearrived at the end of the line, he couldn't check the busfor the envelope because it had already left.10 He wasangry and went back. And he felt only a bit happy whenhe got back to the tree: only the bag with the fruit andvegetables was there — the other one was stolen!11

Why did the thief steal just one bag, but didn't take theother things there?12

We don't know.13

Where the bag went and why only one was taken remainto this day unsolved mysteries.14

Sentence Forms:

1) 3V Infinitive

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2) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 5R Repetition Word; 3VGerund (2)

3) 10TP E Prepositional Phrase; 2S Standard Seriesextended

4) 7AC When; 8RN That; 8RN Where5) 7AC After; 8RN That6) 3V Infinitive; 11ADD Compound Verbal Phrase Infinitive7) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 3V Infinitive8) 10TP E Verbal Phrase Past Participle9) 10TP B Word10)11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 7AC When; 7AC Because11)7AC When; 9PP Explanation Colon; 9PP Dash E Clause;

11ADD Exclamation12)6CC But; 11ADD Question13)1F Subject14)8RN Where; 8RN Why; 3V Past Participle

HE NEVER KNEW HER BY JEFF WENRICH

When he was two years old, his mother was killed in ahorrible tractor trailer crash. His father would recountthe events that led up to the accident, years later.1 Thememories of his mother were laid to rest in an oldwooden cedar chest. Growing up, the young boy hadhundreds of questions to ask his father. How did hismother die? What did she look like? Not bearing aresemblance to his father, there was the big questionthat still haunted him: did he look anything like hismother?2

Several years passed; the father remained silent aboutthe accident. One day, the boy was digging through theattic searching for some baseball cards, when he cameacross an old wooden cedar chest.3 Inside the cedarchest, he found a photo album. Leafing through thewrinkled, yellowish, stained pages of the worn andfragile album, the young boy’s eyes fixated on astrikingly tall, slender, blonde-haired woman.4 She hadhigh cheekbones, wondrously penciled eyebrows, and an

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effervescent smile that would acknowledge a nod fromthe coldest of unbeknownst strangers.

At a get-together at a special occasion, the young manbegged his father to describe to him the eventssurrounding his mother’s death.5 Twenty-five years hadpassed since the tragic accident. Once again, the sonpleaded for details, but the room remained silent.Finally, the father could not hold back the tears andemotions for the woman he so dearly loved, and for theson he had raised and for whom he cared so deeply.

It was 8:20 on a rainy, September evening inPennsylvania. His father drove truck for a local livestockcompany. His tender for the evening was a load of hogsand steers destined for the auction pens in Carlisle,Pennsylvania. Two years out of high school – drivingtruck and hauling livestock – these were the jobs hisfather knew.6 His mother was a young, energetichousewife.7 She was a loving mother who adored andpampered her son. She was very athletic and loved toride horses, water ski, and skate.8

On the night of the accident, his mother decided toaccompany his father on the two-hour trip to Carlisle.She fitted her young son with a nice tweed outfit, andplaced his favorite Yankee baseball cap on his head. Theyoung child was fascinated with animals, and he spatout garbled words of “moo cow” and “piggy.” It was histime to ride in the big red truck, the one with all thecows and pigs.9 His mother sat him in her lap and lethim enjoy the view. In the early 60s, some of the oldertractor-trailer trucks were not equipped with seatbelts.It started to rain pretty heavily, about ten miles outsideof Carlisle. The father was traveling northbound on theoutside lane, the lane most often used by truckdrivers.10 Looking at his outside mirror, he noticed acar approaching on the inside lane at an unusually highrate of speed for the road conditions.

Suddenly, the vehicle started to hydroplane and spinout of control.11 The driver lost control of the vehicleand slammed into the front of the tractor-trailer. The

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impact blew the tire out on the driver’s side of thetractor-trailer. The father tried desperately to brake,downshift, and maintain control of the big rig, but theexcessive load and momentum plunged the rig througha steel guardrail.12 The tractor-trailer plummeted downa 30 foot embankment. Father and son were instantlythrown through the windshield. The father hadsustained cuts to his face and hands. Miraculously, theyoung child only had a small gash to the scalp. Themother was not as fortunate. The father located herunderneath the truck in a drainage culvert. Her neckwas broken and her lung punctured. She had ingested acombination of diesel fuel and water that hadaccumulated in the culvert.13 Had she survived, sheprobably would have been in a vegetative state – braindead.

Two decades later, the memory of her photographs andthe story surrounding her death are put to rest.14 Hismind is now at ease; he has peace with himself. She wasthe perfect wife and mother, everything his father hadhoped and dreamed of. However, she was only astranger in the past, to the son who never knew herpreviously but now did know her at last.

Sentence Forms:

1) 8RN That; 10TP E Adverb Phrase2) 10TP B Verbal Phrase Present participle; 9PP Explanation

Colon; 11ADD Question3) 10TP B Adverb Phrase; 3V Present Participle; 7AC When4) 3V Present Participle; 3V Past Participle (3); 2S Triple

Force (2); 2S The Pair5) 10 TO B Prepositional Phrase; 3V Infinitive; 3V Present

Participle6) 19TP B Adverb Phrase; 3V Gerund (2); 2S The Pair; 9PP

Dash B Wrap-Up7) 2S Compact Duo8) 11ADD Compound Verb; 3V Infinitive (missing to); 2S

Standard Series9) 3V Infinitive; 10TP E Appositive Phrase; 2S The Pair10)10TP E Appositive Phrase11)10TP B Word; 3V Infinitive; 3V Infinitive Missing to

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12)2S Standard Series; 6CC But; 2S The Pair13)2S The Pair; 8RN That14)10TP B Adverb Phrase; 2S The Pair; 3V Present Participle

THE DAY MY GRANDMOTHER DIED

by Griselda PerezIt was Sunday. The sky was clear, bright, andastonishing – a normal day for California.1 Sundaymeans family gatherings in the family. Like mostHispanic families, we have gatherings, where everyonebrings a food dish to the so called event.2 Gatheringsare called events, or so in our family they are. It wasalways the day that brought happiness to our lives –Sunday.3 The whole family shows up, and it is almostlike a supermarket turn-out when they are giving outthings for free.

The table consists of the following food: tamales,tortillas, posole, menudo, carne asada, picadillo,guacamole, and well the list goes on.4 All thesesteaming hot dishes were on the big picnic table sittingoutside the front yard inhabited by the Garcia family. Itwas a great afternoon – perfect. Grandma was sitting byher favorite dish – frijoles charros. She always took thesame seat. Everyone sat down, and tio [uncle, Spanish]

Victor said, “A comer todos!” We all knew what thatmeant – dig in.5 Grandma did not move.

We found ourselves in the hospital room next tograndma, watching her suffer.6 The room was silent,only whimpers of sobbing people were heard. It felt likethe life of a Sunday was taken forever. My mother and Iwere surrounding grandma with her pale face, almostwhite. She looked at us with her Indian eyes. They werefull of anguish, pain, suffering.7 There was nothing anyof us could do to help her. She had been suffering a longtime with lung cancer, and today on a perfect Sundayafternoon she decided she could not take it anymore.8We told her that she was going to make it through thistime also; she always seemed to make it every other

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time. But this time her sad eyes told us that she couldnot take it anymore.

She shut her eyes and grasped for air. She started tocough immensely. It sounded like she was choking on abig piece of carne asada. Her eyes grew bigger, likethose of an owl at night.9 She opened her mouth and allwe could see were pieces of her lungs coming out. Shewas choking on her own lungs. They looked like blackpieces of raw meat, covered in blood. My mother and Icommenced to pick her lungs from her throat, whilescreaming for help. The nurses ran in and made us stepout of the room. Suddenly the perfect Sunday – clear,bright, and astonishing – turned black, sorrowful, andfull of pain. The lobby was invaded by the Garcia family.There was nothing we could do for grandma; she wasgone and we all knew it. Grandma was pronounced deadat 6:00pm, around the same hour that the gatheringwould be at the best part – storytelling andreminiscing.10 The Sunday that could bring happinessto our lives brought tears to our faces. Since then, wefeel the emptiness that a Sunday can have, the sadnessa Sunday can bring you, the traditions that can bebroken on a Sunday.

Sentence Forms:

1) 2S Standard Pair; 9PP Dash E Noun Phrase2) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase;; 8RN Where3) 8RN That; 9PP Dash E Appositive4) 9PP List Colon; 6CC And5) 8RN What; 9PP Dash E Word6) 3V Present Participle7) 2S Triple Force8) 6cc And; 8RN Missing that9) 10TP E Prepositional Phrase extended10)10TP E Prepositional Phrase; 8RN That; 9PP Dash E

Appositive Phrase; 2S The Pair; 3V Gerund (2)

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12 SECONDS by Carlton Hayden

Jones ran towards the receiver and laid one of hispatented hits on him.1 This kind of defensive playwould have brought a sure roar from any enthusiasticfootball crowd, but it didn’t when the receiver wasalready out of bounds. And if you know anything aboutfootball, you know you cannot hit a player while he isout of bounds.2

It was a calm and very cool Friday night in Reading,Pennsylvania – a perfect night for a high school footballgame. My team, the Reading Red Knights, was playingthe Lancaster High Black Knights for the LeagueChampionship and a chance to qualify for the Quad “A”District Playoffs.3 My team’s record was 8-2 with someimpressive wins over some very experienced andtalented teams. We needed to beat Lancaster High inorder to make it to our first District Playoff in almost 24years. We needed to win this game.4

After Jones had hit the receiver out of bounds, thereferee threw his yellow flag into the air.5 It was asthough time stood still as the flag flew through the airwith the grace of an eagle in mid-flight. We all knewwhat the call from the ref would be: “Late hit on thedefense”. When the call was made, everyone uttered in avery low, displeasing voice “He was in bounds” – eventhough the receiver was clearly out of bounds.6 It wasan obvious penalty, but this was a very important game,and we knew Lancaster would now have the balladvanced to the 10 yard line, (since the receiver was hitout of bounds at the 25-yard line and a late hit penaltyadded 15 more yards from the spot of penalty).

The score was 12-7 in our favor. Immediately aftercommitting this ill-advised hit, Jones was pulled fromthe game. He received a royal ass chewing that wasriddled with four-letter words from all the coaches.7There were twelve seconds remaining in the game.Twelve seconds before the League Championship was

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decided. Twelve seconds before one of these two teamswould qualify for the District Playoffs, and a chance tomake the State Playoffs. Now with only twelve secondsto go in the game, our defensive coach had to make thedefensive call that would hopefully stop the other teamscoring a touchdown and winning the game.

I remember the defensive call as if it was my own name:“double gut eagle slant cover 1”. This meant defensivelineman were shooting to even numbered gaps of theoffensive lineman, the two linebackers were blitzingthrough the 2 and 4 gaps on the offensive line, and thedefensive backs would play their man in 1 on 1coverage.8

As I sat and watched from the sidelines with only 12seconds left in the game, the ball was hiked to thequarterback. The quarterback took a couple steps backlooking furiously for an open receiver; our linebackersrushed the line of scrimmage and one made it through,just missing the quarterback. The quarterbackscrambled to his left after sidestepping the blitzinglinebacker, and with the instincts of a well-seasonedNFL quarterback he threw the ball to his right end. Theright end was about a yard short of the goal line andwas immediately hit by my friend Jason, who wasplaying cornerback. It was a standoff at first, but Jasonwas about 145 lbs. and the right end was about 200lbs.9 The right-end was able to push Jason back andadvance the ball over the goal line. The referee raisedboth arms up and said the only thing we did not want tohear –“Touchdown!”

There was no time left on the clock. We had lost ourchance to be league champions and qualify for theDistrict Playoffs. Everyone immediately broke into tears;no one was afraid to show their true feelings.10 Footballhas brought great joy into my life, but on this calm andvery cool Friday night in Reading, Pennsylvania, footballdelivered to me unexpectedly the greatest sadness I haveever felt and it only took twelve seconds. Today when Ireminisce on that infamous Friday night, I find myself

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shedding a tear or two as my teammates did.11 If onlywe had twelve more seconds.12

Sentence Forms:

1) 11Add Compound Verb; 3V Past Participle2) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 7AC If; 8RN Missing that;

7AC While3) 10TP M Appositive; 3V Infinitive4) 3V Infinitive5) 7AC After6) 7AC When; 2S Compact Duo; 10TP E Insertion; 9PP

Dash Break7) 3V Gerund; 8RN That8) 8RN Missing that (3); 2S Standard Series9) 6CC But; 6CC And10) 9PP Association Semicolon11) 7AC When; 3V Present Participle; 7AC As12) 11ADD Fragment

TOUGH GUY by Tanisha L. Bruns

My shift ended at 4:30pm, but it was nearly 7:00pm,and I was still at work. I worked for a Blood DonorCenter; we just returned from a long blood drive. Someof the other employees and I were laughing and jokingabout a donor that had a fainting episode.1 We wereused to seeing donors faint, but this particular donordrew special attention to himself because he was tall,muscular, and very loud. He convinced a friend todonate as well. His friend was the complete opposite:thin and quiet.2 The big guy went on and on about howhe had been “donating for years, and never oncefainted”. Poking fun at his friend, the big guy remarked,“Only little men and women faint while donatingblood”.3

As Donor Center staff members, we were familiar withhis macho attitude. Every time we visited hisorganization, he donated a pint of blood, and madesome kind of chauvinistic comment on the way out. Ifsomeone happened to faint during his visit, you couldhear him from every corner of the auditorium: “real men

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don’t get light-headed”, or “donating isn’t for everybody,especially not the faint of heart”. At first, he annoyed us,but then we learned to accept him for who he was – ajerk.4

The day that he and his friend decided to donate did notseem different from any other. The big guy made hisusual comments as he passed through the stations. Ifollowed them to each station in order to assist thesmaller gentleman (sometimes we would escort first timedonors) with the entire process.5 I knew that Mr. Big’sattitude would probably make him uncomfortable. Mr.Big had to go first at each station, just to prove howtough he was. At the vitals station, I saw something thatI had never seen before – he winced.6 After receiving afinger stick, his muscles flinched and his face grimaced.Because the staff made a habit of ignoring him, I wasmost likely the only one paying attention. Mr. Big was inpain; I knew it and he knew it, but no one else couldtell.7 I watched him intently, like a behavioral scientist,waiting to see how he would react.

The next station called for a private interview with eachdonor, so I had to stand away from the area and Mr.Big, but I positioned myself so that I could see the backof his head. I needed to see if that finger stick was stillaffecting him. Because of the distance, I could not becertain. So, I returned to the waiting area and explainedthe next step to the smaller gentleman. He looked downat his finger, then up at me, and said, “That little thinghurts”. “Yes it does”, I replied, “you would be a fool tothink otherwise”.

Mr. Big returned, seemingly normal and as loud asever.8 “Damn,” I thought, “I guess it’s not bothering himanymore.” After his friend completed the station, wemoved on. Finally, we made it to the phlebotomysection. Mr. Big and the little guy sat next to oneanother on the phlebotomy beds. But they were facingeach other.9 Mr. Big bragged about his good veins, andproceeded to comment on how scrawny the little guy’sarms were, and that we would have to “break out themagnifying glass for his little veins”. The little guy was

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amazingly unfazed by all of the jokes. I supposed he wasused to it.10

The phlebotomist prepared their arms and decided tostick the smaller gentleman first. Mr. Big protested, butshe ignored him. It was a successful stick. We allwatched as the blood flowed through the tube and intothe bag. Then all eyes were on Mr. Big. “I bet my bag willfill before yours,” he said to his friend. The phlebotomistwithdrew the needle from the sheath. The light musthave hit it at the right angle because it sparkled like adiamond in the sun. Mr. Big must have seen it toobecause his eyebrows rose a little. He was rememberingthe finger stick. While his mind was stuck in the past,the phlebotomist jabbed the needle into his arm. He wasunprepared, and that stinging sensation brought himback to the present.11

Mr. Big tried to shake it off, but it would not let go. Thesymptoms began to creep in. He felt it, attempted tomake a joke, but fell silent as his leg muscles began tojump, his head to swim. My eyes were fixed on him now.This was what I had been waiting for.12 Before thephlebotomist realized it, Mr. Big was out for the count.We had to use two ammonia ampoules to wake him. Thelittle guy was worried about Mr. Big, but we restoredhim.

He awoke appearing confused, “How could this happento me?”. His ego was crushed. And we all knew that hewould be a whole lot quieter the next time we visitedthat organization for a blood drive, if he could bringhimself to donate again.13

Sentence Forms:

1) 11ADD Compound Verb; 8RN That2) 9PP Explanation Colon3) 3V Present Participle; 10TP E Insertion4) 6CC But; 9PP Dash E Appositive5) 10TP M (Clause Interruptor)6) 9PP Dash Break7) 9PP Association Semicolon8) 10TP E Adverb or Adjective Phrase

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9) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction10)8RN Missing That11)3V Present Participle12)8RN What13)11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 8RN That; 7AC If

THE GRAND HIKE BY JOSHUA GATCOMB

When I was twelve years old, I met my Grandfather forthe first and last time. The saga of my mother’s reasonfor leaving and staying away was hers alone.1 I was achild and I didn’t care. I was going to fly in an airplaneand see the desert and visit relatives I had never seen. Ilearned a very valuable lesson on that two-weekvacation: a Grandfather’s love surmounts any obstacle,physical or otherwise.2

At the airport, two short elderly people greeted us withexhausted, practiced smiles on their faces.3 I waskissed and hugged repeatedly; I felt very awkward to saythe least. My Grandfather’s face was approximately fourinches away from the windshield the entire three-hourtrip to their tiny trailer. Conversation was kept to aminimum so it was a blessing that I was plum tuckeredout from the flight. Instead of jovial catching up, myGrandfather went straight to bed.4 I am not sure whenit occurred to me that a 70 year old man, who couldbarely see, might be exhausted after driving six hoursstraight. I was still just a child.

The next couple of days we spent many more hours in acar traveling to the Petrified Forest and the PaintedDesert and the Grand Canyon. We went to restaurantsfor meals and stayed in hotels to ensure we would notmiss anything. My Grandfather stopped at every lookoutpoint along the perimeter of the canyon, but stayed inthe car while we got out and gasped at the beauty. I wasvery surprised when his car door opened and, whatseemed like twenty-minutes later, he emerged from thecar and headed my way. He told me, nonchalantly, thatwe were going for a hike.5

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We headed down the trail very slowly as he told meabout the local area and the dude ranch at the bottom.He told me how the Colorado River carved the canyonand how wind had eroded it over centuries too. I wasfascinated by his stories, but frustrated that after anhour on this trek we had only gone about a mile. Thestones in my shoes were nothing compared to the eonsit took us to make each twist in the trail.6 It was onlyafter we left that my mother told me he usually walkedwith a cane, but out of pride for me, he left it at home.

Four hours later, our heads emerged above thehorizontal plane of the desert. We had talked the entiretime. Our conversation during that hike was a grownupconversation. He was very meticulous in selecting whatwords to use and how to convey concepts to a twelve-year-old. He would take long pauses before speaking; Irambled on at a hundred miles a minute.7 Theconversation shifted from outer space to girls toresponsibility. I was very upset when he would notcontinue the conversation in the car. My heart aches torealize that those long pauses he took were gasps for airthat probably saved his life.8 It also pains me to realizehe was being my confidant, and I nearly ruined it byattempting to make our relationship public.

I don’t know if I will ever realize the magnitude of thesacrifices my Grandfather made for me that trip, or theextent of the pain he endured on my behalf. Because Ihad never met the man until then, I didn’t know he washolding his tongue from scolding me when my elbowswere on the table or when I back talked my mother orwhen I swore.9 He knew that those two weeks wouldprobably be the only chance he would ever get to spendwith me, and he did everything to make the time happyand memorable.10 He died shortly after I returned fromthe trip.

Sentence Forms:

1) 13V Gerund (2)2) 9PP Explanation Colon3) 3V Past Participle (2); 2 Compact Duo

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4) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase5) 10TP M Word6) 8RN Missing that7) 9PP Opposition Semicolon8) 8RN That (2); 8RN Missing that9) 7AC Because; 3V Gerund; 2S Choices Series; 7AC When

(3)10)3V Infinitive (2)

JOSHUA TREE by Destiny S. Larberg

It was the 27th of December 1994 and far too early to beawake. Yet the drive to Joshua Tree National Monumentis a long four hours, so an early start was necessary. Mybest friend and I spent several months preparing for thisday. Today would be the first day of a rigorous, twoweek long, Pacific Crest Outward Bound course forwhich we both had won a scholarship.

We were a bit early arriving in Joshua Tree and had towait for the rest of the participants to show up. Thisgave us time to get fitted for some proper hiking boots.1Both Kathrina and I were from a homeless shelter forteenagers, so all of our clothing was from donations.2Luckily, Pacific Crest provided hiking boots andbackpacks for all participants.

When everyone finally arrived, there were a total of nineparticipants. Kathrina and I came to find out that wewere the only ones who were there voluntarily; the otherseven teenagers were forced to be there by their parentsfor one reason or another.3 To them, the hiking coursewas punishment. To us, it was a chance to get on aprimal level with nature and to push ourselves past ourphysical limits.4

Our three course instructors arrived to greet us. Wewere told to dump out all our baggage in front of us. Wewent through a list to make sure everyone had thenecessities. There would be no stores to stop at on thistrip to buy something forgotten. Then we were checkedfor contraband! This was a surprise for me; I wasn’t here

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to be punished. Yet, I guess it was necessary since theyfound marijuana in one person’s bag.

After our bags were checked, and we all had receivedour big hiking backpacks, we were given five gallons ofwater apiece.5 Food, pots, pans, dishes, tents, and othergroup items were then distributed evenly among us. Allof our backpacks were stuffed and could barely be lifted.I had to hoist mine up onto a rock just to get it on, andthen almost lost my balance with all of the extra weight.Kathrina, being much shorter and lighter than myself,fell backward after she put her backpack on.6 She fellquite a few times before she got the hang of it.

Ugh, I didn’t know how I was going to hike for twoweeks with all of this extra weight. I felt bad forKathrina too since her backpack was as big as she was.But then I looked out into the endless, immense beautythat was Joshua Tree National Monument. Two weekswould be spent in the place U2 (an 80’s pop band) sangabout in their song “Where the Streets Have No Name”.This trip would be a difficult one, but an awesomeadventure too.7

Sentence Forms:

1) 3V Infinitive2) 4C Both A and B supplemental; 6CC So3) 9PP Association Semicolon4) 3V Infinitive5) 7AC After; 6CC And6) 3V Present Participle7) 6CC But

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LIU HSIEH WEN-HSIN TIAO-LUNG 506CE

The lush and the terse are preferences

That follow from the [writer's] nature.

The master at cutting things down

gets rid of words while preserving the idea,

while the master of elaboration

uses different language so that

the idea is crystal clear.

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Descriptive Essay

Instructions:

After reading and analyzing the various previous descriptive modelessays by former students, we now give students the assignment ofcomposing a descriptive essay of their own.

Below are some examples of descriptive essays by students whichmay be used as models for other students to follow in their ownassignments.

Not all sentence forms used have been spotted and identified. Arepresentative sampling serves to adequately remind students ofthe prevalence of such forms in all good writing.

Not all Sentence Forms in every sentence have been identified.Instead, a sampling of Forms are selected and identified. This

process we call formspotting. Students can formspot their

own work, work of other students, or work of professionalwriters.

ADONIS BY RITA BENNETT

Sarah’s eyes popped open at the sound of an engine thatcut through the reticence of the early morn. She knewwhat engine made that sound. She knew who that enginebelonged to. She raced out of bed, her legs gettingentwined and tangled in the sheets and blanket.1 Herheart pounded in her chest. Her hand trembled – knockingover the Madonna – as she reached for her glasses that saton the nightstand. Her body tingled, and excitementexploded through it like fireworks on the Fourth of July.

Sarah opened the bedroom door, and with a single leapthat would have broken an Olympic high jump record, shereached the stairs.2 She gripped the banister with onehand, her nightgown with the other, and started herdescent. Her feet barely touched the steps as she sped

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down the stairs, moving faster than the speed of light,ignoring all the dangers. She jumped the last three steps,landing perfectly – like a gymnast lands a perfectdismount – onto the freshly waxed floor.3 With anothersingle leap and a slide, she was at the gateway – thegateway that would lead her to that sound. It was thesound that Sarah awakened to every Saturday morning.4Sarah opened the door, and there across the street,mowing the lawn, was the most handsome man that shehad ever laid her eyes on – Adonis.5

She ducked down behind the porch railings, with herprecisely positioned plants shielding her from notice. Frombehind the leaves, sitting on an old, half broken, woodenchair, Sarah admired him. She admired his carefree, windtussled, shoulder length, nut brown hair. She admired hisface, so beautifully put together, as if an artist had drawnit first and then carefully molded each piece to perfection,before putting it together. She admired his body: a well-defined temple of muscles, so tightly built, each muscleprotruding at all the right spots, sending out an aura ofsensuous heat.6

Sarah felt an intense fire sweeping and raging inside ofher, intensity she hadn’t felt for a long time.7 She leanedback, closed her eyes and started to fantasize about him.8All of a sudden, the chair moved out from beneath her.She opened her eyes and before she could react, the old,wooden chair had broken all the way [collapsed completely],sending her, the plants, and all of the glass figurines ontothe porch floor with a loud crashing noise.

The door opened and out came her husband with abewildered look on his face. Sarah looked at him and said,“Don’t even ask”.9


1) 10TP E Absolute Construction2) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase extended3) 9PP Dash M Prepositional Phrase4) 11ADD Fragment5) 9PP Dash E Word6) 9PP Explanation Colon;10TP E Absolute Construction;…

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7) 2S The Pair; 10TP E Noun Phrase8) 2S Standard Series;11ADD Compound Verb9) 10TP E Insertion direct speech

THAT OLD BUILDING BY DONOVAN E. CAPEL

In Spanish Harlem there is an old torn down building thatholds a terrible secret. The memories are trapped inside,visible in the structure only.1 The red paint is quicklypeeling off, and the building is starting to crumble. As youlook at the metal door, you get a feeling of a prison with itssmall square window and bars. The stoop of the buildingis cold, made of cement that has cracked due to theweather. You look up and see wooden framed windows inrows of four. As you reach the door, your hand touches anold strange shape with artistic carvings that capture oneof the last glimmers of beauty in this building.2

The dying light bulbs make the hallway dark and scary.3The walls feel cold to the touch. Dark brown flammablepaint is splattered with carelessness on the walls. Thedirty white and black small tiles on the floors have fadedand chipped. The missing tiles show the lack ofmaintenance and care. You walk up the wooden staircase,as you feel it creak and shift under your feet.4 As youwalk along the narrow hallway, you hear the scuffle ofyour shoes echo through the building. You grab the nextstaircase rail, and feel where the wood has grown old andis now splitting.

The front of the railing has a snail shape curve to it. Thelittle detail shows the time and care that was once put intothe design of the building.5 As you climb up the next setof old stairs, you see two doors that lead into apartments.The two doors are steel and painted light blue to bring lifeto the dark hallway. The walls are now “dirty white” fromchildren and adults touching them.

The next railing is covered with grease from the air andresidue from rats. To the left of the staircase is the singleblack painted door. The light on this floor is extremelydim. The lights from the floor above and below give this

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floor a dark, eerie feeling. You force the door open, andyou are blinded by sunlight; you choke from all of the dustthat has settled here.6 As you enter, the wooden floorsgive way slightly. Rusty nails poke out of the floorboards,and old water stains have made designs on the walls.

You look to the left and step into a small room. You see acabbage patch kid who has been mistreated, thrownagainst the far wall.7 Old grains of cereal cover the floorand make a stale crunching sound under your feet. Asmall nightgown is on the floor covered in blood, too bigfor the doll but too small for an adult.8 You could onlyimagine the horror that has happened in this apartment, ahorror that fortunately you are able to walk away from andforget, unlike the child that is haunted by the memories ofa “home” that was never compassionate.


1) 10TP E Adjective Phrase2) 8RN That3) 3V Gerund; 2S The Pair4) 7AC As5) 8RN That6) 9PP Complicated Semicolon7) 3V Past Participle8) 10TP E Adjective Phrase

TOWN SQUARE BY MATTHEW SAWYER

This is the heart of the main square of town. Theimpromptu shops of the bazaar are clustered around thiscentral gathering place; townsfolk, travelers, andadventures meet to talk, conspire, or raise expeditions tothe far-flung reaches of the world. At the north end, an oldwell, with moss-covered stones and a craggy roof, isshaded from the moonlight by a strong, robust tree.1 Theoak is tall and straight, and it is apparent that the rootsrun deep. Lined up in a circle lies some stone benchesoften used for sitting and resting.

Off to the west, in midst of the town, stretches thecobblestoned main bazaar, its lamp-lit lanes abuzz with

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traders and vendors hawking their wares at any hour ofthe day or night.2 Groups of citizens, discussing the day’sevents or preparing for nighttime hunts, gather around thedoors of the merchants whose shops border the square.The gilded but peeling stone facade of the First WorldSecure Bank dominates this side of the square.

On the other side of town square lies the commercial areaof the bazaar with the impressive façade of the slate-roofedcity hall. Citizens hold various official, religious, and socialfunctions here.3 Facing the square are some of the town’smore prosperous shops, still doing business with themany customers who frequent the streets at night.

A short distance down the road lies the park.4 The brightlight of the street lamp from the square filters through toilluminate the area with a soft glow. A weatherworn, grey,marble statue of a stocky human in pioneer’s clothingoverlooks the park, his stone hat encrusted by the gifts ofdecades of passing birds and his right hand half-upraisedas if it once held some now-missing object.5 Off to the sidelies a small niche between two buildings that has beenneatly landscaped into a tiny moonlit garden; a carefulmosaic of flagstones interspersed with patches of trimmedgrass accentuate the area. A low stone bench rests alongone vine-covered wall, and a patch of colorful violetssurrounds a painted wooden barrel in one corner.6


1) 10TP M Prepositional Phrase2) 10 TP E Noun Phrase3) 2S Standard Series4) 11ADD Inversion5) 10TP E Absolute Construction (2)6) 6CC And

CHAIR BY KARL HENDRICKSON

My favorite chair sits in the corner of a room, right in frontof a desk. She is a sad chair, droopy and unexciting.1 Ican tell that my chair has a slight case of melancholy.There is nothing special about this chair that you would

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remember a few years down the road. Not like those fancymechanical moving chairs they have in the departmentstores.2 She is simple in her design – nothing you wouldsee in a museum.3 Well, at least not until a couple ofdecades from now.

Her only main features are the two fading dark blue seatcushions: one cushion simply for back support and thesecond perfect for sitting – complete with a butt grove. Sheisn’t a chair for relaxing in; she is a working chair. Peoplewho have done their sitting on her were quite disrespectfulit seems. Almost, like they didn’t know how to sit properly.The two cushions are compacted and worn. Yet, there areno food stains or even the smallest of crumbs to be foundon her.

She has a perfect height of three feet, and is only one anda half feet wide. She stands by her four skinny legs – noneare broken, mind you – which are held together by threedowel rods, glued adequately in place.4 There are only afew scratches on her dark, tan, wooden frame, which justshows she is aging with grace. On her left side, you willfind a ‘Property of U.S. Government’ sticker that has beenworn almost completely off. By the looks of it, someonehas tried to remove it, yet gave up out of boredom.5 Withthat sticker being the only visible tag, you will have to lookunderneath her to find two more tags, which say:‘Flammability Requirements for the Bureau of HomeFurnishings’ and another telling us she was manufacturedin ‘Thomasville, North Carolina.’ Of course, no one wouldever notice those two hidden tags, for no one ever thinksabout such minor details in their home furnishings.6

She is a fine chair, not too flashy and not toouncomfortable. 7 She has a melancholy air about her,suggesting perhaps no one ever stops to notice what anoble job she does as a chair.


1) 10 TP E Adjective Phrase2) 11ADD Fragment3) 9PP Dash Break4) 9PP Dash M Clause supplemental

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5) 6CC Yet6) 6CC For7) 10TP E Adjective Phrase

WHAT SURFING DOES TO A SURFER

by John ContrerasSo what is it about surfing?1 Some of us joke about itbeing our “true love” or our addiction. It does seem tofulfill a need which, when denied, makes us think about it,talk about it, even dream about it.2 Surfing capturesmuch of what it means for me to be human. That soundsawfully cheesy, but let me give you a few thoughts to backup why I love to surf.

Non-surfers often wonder if surfers really get muchexercise. “They are always sitting out there waiting foranother wave.” In a way, that observation is correct.3Surfing requires a lot of short bursts of energy with someperiods of extreme effort; no one could deny the strengthyou need to paddle out on a winter’s day at the NorthShore. Okay, surfing is probably more like running sprintsthan running a marathon.4 But if you run enough sprints,the effect is the same. While your arms and shoulders feellike burnt toast after a long session, you will also feel it inyour legs and your stomach as well. I’m always surprisedat the variety of body parts that hurt after a long day atthe beach.

The person who hasn’t been scared hasn’t surfed often oris brain dead. At least, I haven’t met anyone without astory about a long hold down or leaving some skin on thereef. I remember paddling out with my roommate on anoverhead day north of Ventura.5 We traded some 8-10 footwaves and thought about how few people were out in thewater that day. Then a double overhead plus set came overthe horizon, and we found ourselves paddling for our lives,making it over larger and larger waves by seconds.6 Therewas so much energy being dumped on the inside that wefought cross currents just to make it back to the beach.

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That day might have been a cakewalk for a surfer makingsix digits or more, but our fear was very real.

Even when it is not frightening, I can’t deny the absoluterush of dropping in on a good size wave. The thrill of speedon a really fast, down the line, shoulder high wave is anexperience I can’t forget.7

There is an adrenaline rush from paddling up the face of awave until your board is pointing straight up, popping outthe back and getting airborne. Surfing is like a rollercoaster, but you’re driving and the ride is constantlychanging.

When surfers talk about fun, we’re not talking about thekind you have at a dinner party or at a bar. We’re talkingabout the goofy teenage fun where you find yourselfsmiling, and you’re not sure why. I am close to 30, andsurfing makes me feel like I am a little hobbit from back inthe days of childhood. That is not a feeling one gets fromgolfing. 8

I am always amazed at the people you can meet whilesurfing. They come from all walks of life and diversebackgrounds, but all share this lifestyle. It’s so interestingto learn about their personal lives and listen to theirstories. The world may be screwed up, but just sitting outthere on your board waiting for sets, with strangers,talking about nothing, makes us surfers content.9

So, what is it about surfing? Surfing is fun, it’s scary, it’saddictive, it’s natural, and it’s interpersonal.10 It’s anemotional experience crammed into a blue green liquiddrug. I am sure there are many other activities out therethat can give you the same type of feeling; I just have notfound any yet.


1) 911ADD Question2) 2S Triple Force3) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase4) 3V Gerund (3)5) 3V Gerund

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6) 6CC And; 3V Present Participle (2)7) 9PP Explanation Colon8) 8RN Missing that9) 3V Present Participle10)5R Keyword

THE GREATEST VACATION EVER BY JEFF JACKSON

The greatest vacation that I ever had wasn’t anything trulyfascinating at all. It wasn’t a big fantastic trip to someelaborate locale; it wasn’t an ocean cruise, or even a snowski trip to the local mountain range. The best vacationthat I have taken, some would say wasn’t even a vacationat all. It is most likely better described as a weekend get-away, although my wife and I didn’t even leave town.1

All we did was get a hotel room and left our daughter withher grandmother. This was no ordinary weekend in somemere hotel. It was my first weekend home, after I returnedfrom school. And if the anxiety of anticipating my flighthome, after being away from the love of my life for morethan a year, wasn’t enough by itself, my first weekendhome was Valentine’s Day weekend.2

The hotel room – should I say penthouse – was on the topfloor overlooking the scenic view of the Arkansas River indowntown Wichita, KS. Upon entering the room, one couldsee to the right the kitchen, where the cabinets were filledwith fine china and the kitchen drawers contained thebest crystal, not to mention a fully stocked refrigerator. 3And to one’s left was the biggest television set that I haveever seen in my entire life, sitting in front of two highlyoverstuffed black leather loveseats. Adjacent to thatmonstrosity of a television set was the self-lightingfireplace.4 On the mantle sat two, black marble panthersin front of a wall-sized mirror. In the back half of the roomwas a sliding glass door, which led to the balcony of this30th floor luxurious room. To get to the loft whichoverlooked the downstairs, one had to walk on the oneinch thick plush white padded carpet towards the stairsthat were covered in sweet smelling rose petals.5 Upstairs,there was yet another enormous television set, and a king-

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size bed covered in red, pink, and white balloons in theshape of a heart.

The list goes on and on of how great the room was.6 Andeven though we stayed in our own town, not only did wehave a time that we will never forget, we had the mostenjoyable and relatively inexpensive vacation of our lives.


1) 7AC Although2) 7AC If3) 8RN Where4) 11ADD Inversion5) 10TP B Verbal Phrase Infinitive6) 8RN How

FROM A PEACEFUL DAY TO A NIGHTMARE

BY CHARLIE SANDERS JR.Imagine yourself enjoying a dream-like peaceful day. Theday is so beautiful. There’s not a cloud in the sky; birdsare chirping; kids are outside playing. Then all of asudden, your nightmare begins. This is what happened tome a couple of weeks ago.

I woke up to a gorgeous day. Everything seemed soperfect. I was able to watch the football games ontelevision, without any interruptions. After three hours ofrelaxation, the phone rang; it was my commandingofficer.1 He told me to get a 100% accountability of all mysoldiers. Naturally, I asked him why. He said there was atyphoon coming through. I thought, “No way. It’s toobeautiful outside.” Nonetheless, I did what he wanted meto do and then went on about my day.2 About two hourslater, things began to change, and I realized my nightmarehad begun.

The sky turned pitch black, like New York City during itsrecord-breaking blackout. The winds started blowing as ifsomeone turned on a giant fan. People were blown fromside to side, as if they were dancing the macarena. Trees

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were snatched from the ground and thrown on top of cars.You could see the ants crawling into cracks in the ground,so they wouldn’t be swept away with the wind.3 At thistime, I began to get a little scared. I heard a crackingsound; one of the trees was beginning to break. I figured Ishould go inside at once. I guess I was too late: as I turnedto go in my room, the tree broke in two.4 The limbs of thetree hit me on the back.

This is when I came to the definitive realization that apeaceful day can turn into a nightmare.


1) 9PP Association Semicolon2) 10TP B Word3) 6CC So4) 9PP Explanation Colon

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Comparative Essay

Instructions to Students for Comparative Essay

We now give students the assignment of composing a

comparative essay of their own.

Below are some examples of comparative essays by

students which may be used as models for other

students to follow in their own assignments.

Not all sentence forms used have been spotted and

identified. A representative sampling serves to

adequately remind students of the prevalence of such

forms in all good writing.

Star Wars Vs. Star Trek

BY MICHAEL CARTER

In this galaxy – here and now – a debate is taking place.If the Star Wars universe and the Star Trek universecollided, who would come out on top? Many fans havebeen torn between the Star Wars and Star Trekuniverses for years. Both universes have fantastic andfuturistic technology. Which one is better? Which onewould hide and cower as the other triumphed?1 I havelong been a fan of Star Wars and Star Trek. I will try tohelp you decide by comparing the two.

Star Wars takes place in a galaxy far, far away; StarTrek takes place in our galaxy.2 Star Wars takes placein the present; Star Trek takes place in the future. StarWars ships cannot travel outside of the galaxy theyinhabit; Star Trek ships can travel to other galaxies.Because Star Trek is in the future, I would say Star

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Wars has the edge because they have had a lot moretime to develop their technology.3

Starships in the Star Trek universe have two means ofinterstellar travel: worm holes and warp drives.4 StarWars ships have three: hyperspace, star drives,repulsors. Worm holes – the fastest form of travel – refersto travel between only exact points in space.5Hyperspace travel, the next fastest, requires ahyperdrive engine and is only slightly faster than warpspeed. Warp speed has the widest range of speeds.Starships in the Star Wars universe use repulsors to getoff the ground, then switch to star drives for traveling inthe star system. Ultimately, Star Wars and Star Trekships have about the same capabilities.

Weaponry is a major determining factor in the debate.Star Wars uses ultra high-powered lasers in most of itsweapons; Star Trek relies on mainly particle weapons.6Lasers have a much higher rate of fire than particleweapons. Particle weapons do not cause much damage.Star Wars uses proton torpedoes with a range of twokilometers; Star Trek uses photon torpedoes with arange of one thousand kilometers. A proton torpedo isslightly more powerful. Star Wars would win in a closespace battle or ground battle. Star Trek would win if itwere a long-range space battle. Star Wars definitely hasthe edge in weaponry.

The population of the Star Wars universe is many timesgreater than the population of the Star Trek universe.The Star Wars people have been at war for most of theirlives and are capable of juryrigging anything. Star Trekpeople were trained in academies, not the heat of battle.Star Trek people are also used to having everything new,and would not know how to work with old stuff. Mostspecies in both galaxies are humanoid; however, StarWars also has a huge non-humanoid population.7 StarTrek is divided into several primary species, whichcontrol their own portion of space. Star Wars only hastwo main divisions of space: the Empire and the NewRepublic. The Star Wars people are always trying to

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build super weapons. I would say the Star Wars peoplehave a definite edge over Star Trek people.

Ultimately, I would say that the major determiningfactor would be the people.8 If you have an ingeniouspeople, then you will eventually have better weapons.Star Trek would put up a good fight, but they would losemany people. Eventually, they would run out of peopleand be conquered. The Star Wars people have beenfighting most of their lives. They have overcome superweapons capable of destroying the world.9 The people inStar Wars are tough, tried and true heroes. Star Trekdoes not stand a chance.


1) 2S The Pair2) 9PP Opposition Semicolon3) 7AC Because (2)4) 9PP Numeric Precursor Colon5) 9PP Dash M Noun Phrase6) 9PP Opposition Semicolon7) 9PP Expansive Semicolon8) 10TP B Word9) 3V Gerund

THE DIFFERENCE OF EQUALITY

BY MATTHEW GARVIN

The equality of men and women in today’s world is animportant issue receiving attention throughoutAmerican society. Since their right to vote was won backin the 1920s, women's equality in other areas has takenoff like a rocket and continues to burn hot. Women haveinfiltrated into almost every previously thought male joband male activity.1

There are thousands of things that men and womenparticipate in together. They are athletes, lawyers, andpoliticians. Women are even in the military. However,even if traditional gender roles are broken, the question

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still remains: are men and women truly equal?2 Toanswer this question, we must observe our children andanalyze their actions.

For instance, when was the last time you saw an 8 year-old-girl running around the yard with a space-ageparticle blaster and shouting "Die Zogwarg Queen" atinvisible green men fleeing in fear while making phasernoises with her lips?3 Or how about a little boy insideon a rainy day sitting quietly in his room combingBarbie's hair and changing her clothes so she looksenticing on her big date with Ken in 20 minutes?

While little boys are busy constructing pirate ships andspace vessels with their Lego pieces, how come littlegirls are making cookies and English muffin pizza withtheir easy-bake oven? Why are boys outside throwingthe football, playing catch, or trying to beat each otherup for the best spot to build a fort, and girls are calmlypouring tea in the backyard for the guests of the annualstuffed-animal festival?4 Wouldn't it seem weird if yourson was putting on lipstick and blush and eyeliner tolook pretty, and your daughter was out rolling in themud getting grass stains on her pants and cuts andbruises on her arms?

If men and women are portrayed as equals and haveequal gender responsibilities, why aren't young childrenmimicking our belief? Do we teach little girls it'sunacceptable or unlady-like to play with guns and beatspace aliens up, and tell little boys they're a sissy if theyplay with dolls and bake cookies – or is this behaviorinstinctively learned on their own?5

Everyone knows that there is a certain equality in theprofessional, adult world.6 Males are doing traditionalfemale jobs and females are filling traditional malepositions. Women have become politicians, lawyers, andbankers, while men are becoming nurses, cooks, andstaying home to raise the kids.7 It's acceptable today fora man to share his feelings and a woman to have bigmuscles. The future is blending traditional gender rolesinto one, with few distinctions besides the obvious that

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keep them separate. With all the equality, are we stilltruly equal? Maybe we should ask the children.


1) 2S The Pair2) 7AC If (inconsequential if)3) 3V Present Participle (2)4) 3V Present Participle (3); 3V Past Participle5) 8RN Missing that6) 2S Compact Duo7) 7AC While

BARRIERS BETWEEN KOREANS AND AMERICANS

BY CHANG GAMBLIN

As a Korean married to an American, there are sometimes when I don't understand my husband'soversensitive reactions to some Koreans' behavior –including mine.1 One day I was in his office, and aKorean worker visited my husband who was working ona computer faced toward the wall. The Korean workertouched my husband's back to get his attention insteadof calling his name; my husband looked very upset tillthe Korean went out. I also sometimes don't understandsome American behaviors that embarrass me. If weknow the differences in each other's culture, we canminimize our misunderstandings.2 The following aresome examples of behaviors between Koreans andAmericans, which are seen as poor manners in oneculture, and yet acceptable in the other.

First, considering behaviors, some Koreans roughlytouch the arms or shoulders of Americans to get theirattention instead of saying "Excuse me." This isconsidered an invasion of privacy to Americans. MostKoreans sniffle continuously instead of blowing theirnoses; this sound is unpleasant to Americans. Koreanparents let their children disturb others in public placessuch as restaurants and supermarkets as if the places

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were playgrounds; young children are strictly taught tobehave themselves and not to disturb others in America.

On the opposite side, some Americans also makeKoreans uncomfortable. When Americans ask someoneto come closer, they use an index finger; Koreans use itonly when beckoning animals.3 Americans use toomuch eye contact during a conversation; Koreans thinkit is impolite to stare directly at someone.4 Americanssmoke in front of older people; Koreans think it is rudeand disrespectful.

Secondly, considering dining table manners, whenKoreans want to get something on the table, they reachacross the table because they don't want to interruptthose who are eating; Americans consider this badmanners, and they think it is more polite to ask orrequest that something be passed.5 Koreans put theirelbows on the table when eating; Americans do not, andthink this is also a display of bad manners. SomeKoreans wave a fork, a knife, or chopsticks around whileconversing during meals; it is considered impolite byAmericans. When Koreans eat hot noodles or soup, theyslurp loudly; Americans don't make noise while eatingand do not talk with food in their mouths. On the otherhand, Americans blow their noses loudly in public,especially at a restaurant during their meal, but this isextremely disgusting to Koreans. Americans eat snacksor other food in the classroom during a teacher'slecture; this is very impolite to Koreans because theythink Americans don't respect their professors.6Americans pay only for their meal after suggestinghaving dinner together; Koreans, especially in the oldergeneration, are not accustomed to going Dutch.7

As you can see, the two cultures are not the same.8Behaviors acceptable in American culture may not beacceptable in Korean culture, and vice versa. Byunderstanding both cultures, we can minimize these orother misunderstandings and cultural gaps. I hopeKoreans and Americans can work and live together moreharmoniously.

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1) 9PP Dash Break2) 7AC If3) 9PP Opposition Semicolon4) 8RN Missing that5) 6CC And6) 9PP Opposition Semicolon7) 11ADD Especially8) 7AC As

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KITCHEN AND EATING INSTRUMENTS IN THE

EAST AND THE WEST BY SEUNG WOOK LEE

In Europe, many people use a knife and fork; in Asia,many people use chopsticks.1 Also, other culinaryinstruments of the East and West are different. Did youever think about which eating instruments are betterthan the others? Let us see how they compare.

In the West, people cut too-big-to-eat things with aknife; however, in Korea, people often use scissors.2Korean people cut noodles, pork, kimchi and otherfoods using scissors. I think scissors are more suitablethan a knife. Although a knife needs a flat base to cutfood on, scissors can cut the food which is put in abowl. Also, a knife can cut food only straight. However,scissors can cut to make numerous shapes of food. AndJim Moulton, an American educational consultant,said mastery of scissors is "even one of the early stepson the road to Advanced Placement physics orchemistry". Because Korean children use scissors, theycan perhaps train their brain at an earlier age thanchildren in the West.3

The instruments which show the most differencesbetween East and West are chopsticks and the fork andknife. Let me explain the advantages of usingchopsticks. If we use a knife and fork, we must use bothhands. However, chopsticks require only one hand topick up the food. Instead of using two hands, using justone hand is more efficient and requires less energy. 4 Ifwe use just one hand to eat our meals, we can do otherthings – such as reading a book, gesturing while talking,or sending a cell phone message. Therefore, if we usechopsticks, we can spend our lunch or dinner time moreefficiently.

According to some research in Korean science articles, ifa young student uses chopsticks, her or his intelligenceand concentration rise. In those articles, people who usechopsticks have an early start on developing mentalpowers.5 In that research, when they gave teams of

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people riddles, people who used chopsticks for a longtime did better than those who didn't use them.So, using chopsticks increases our mental power.6 Thisis important for young children when new brainpathways are being formed.

Perhaps someone who uses chopsticks can make theirbrain work better when they use their fingers to holdand pick up objects accurately. The success rate ofgenetic research is higher in Asian countries than inEurope or America. Maybe this is the effect of usingchopsticks. Asians can do many minute things such aspicking up a pea or a grain of rice using chopsticks;they can also splice DNA and make VLSI chips.7 Thus,because chopsticks require manual dexterity, the use ofchopsticks assists one to do minute and detailed tasks.

Do you know Nanta? Nanta is a Korean performancegroup. They show another difference between East andWest. In the West, kitchen cutlery is used for eatingsomething; however, the people of Korea use kitchencutlery and implements as musical instruments. Inparticular, Nanta uses them as percussion instruments.Nanta’s performance is rhythmical and powerful andhumorous, and even sometimes looks dangerous.8 Theirshows exemplify the creative thinking of Eastern people.

However, I have heard that some French Canadians arevery good at keeping rhythm by playing a pair ofspoons.9 The two spoons are held one facing up and theother facing down, back to back, held in one hand. Theseated player alternately hits the two spoons betweenhis outstretched palm and his thigh.

I am sure people have used chopsticks to do otherthings. But in terms of having children apply some lawsof physics at an early age, I think the eatinginstruments of the East offer a better challenge to thechild, along with several other advantages, compared tothose of the West.


1) 9PP Opposition Semicolon

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2) 9PP Expansive Semicolon3) 7AC Because4) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase5) 3V Gerund6) 3V Gerund7) 9PP Association Semicolon8) 2S Lyrical Series9) 3V Gerund (2)

ON TOP OF THE WORLD BY ARAM L. MESINA

I have come to conclude that I live life in two ways:living life the healthy way and living life the lazy way.1Sad to say, I'm living life the lazy way at this point intime; however, there are a few times when I have livedlife the healthy way. What do I mean by this?2 Well, thehealthy way to me means going to the gym almost everyday, eating six healthy meals a day, and getting theright amount of sleep each night. On the other hand,when I live the lazy way, all I do is smoke cigarettes,drink alcohol, and fail to get enough sleep or sometimes,even sleep too much, like on weekends.

When I live life the healthy way, I have a set schedule,and I have everything planned out. Everything Iconsume is both healthy and nutritious.3 I wake up, eata fruit, like an apple or banana, drink some water, andget ready for PT [physical training]. After some good PT,I eat a good breakfast, which consists of eggs, sausage,rice, yogurt, and two glasses of milk. After breakfast, Iget ready for work and at about 10:00a.m. before lunch,I use my break time to drink a protein shake. Then atlunchtime, I eat another healthy meal, which usuallyincludes the main course, some salad, a fruit, andanother two glasses of milk.4 About two or three hourslater, I have another protein shake. When my workcomes to an end at about 5:00p.m., I have anothernutritious meal, which again includes two glasses ofmilk.

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My intense workout at a nearby gym begins after anhour of letting the food digest. My grueling workout lastsabout an hour and a half, and then I go home andprepare myself some tuna helper or some macaroni andcheese; they're both very delicious and very easy tocook.5 After that last meal of the day, I finally get achance to shower and relax a little for a couple of hours.I'm usually in bed by 10:00p.m., but not before I drinkanother protein shake. All these shakes I drink are allpart of my plan to put on some extra pounds and someextra muscles.6

On weekends, while everyone is out drinking liquor andbeer, I skip out on all the partying and continuedrinking my water and shakes. When I follow thisprogram, I feel great about myself, because I'm in greatshape and in great health. I feel like the Incredible Hulk– my muscles always ready to explode.7 I receivecompliments from people about how good I look andhow strong I am. I am having fun and feel like I'm on topof the world.

But then something happens: I go on vacation or a fieldexercise, and my world suddenly comes crashing downon me.8 This brings me to my present way of living life –the lazy way. Right now, I have just returned fromvacation and, boy, am I being very lazy. Basically, mydays are pretty much the same; for example, insteadof using my breaks to drink a protein shake, I use thattime to smoke a cigarette. Moreover, after every meal, Isit down, relax, and enjoy some more cigarettes. Afterwork, I lie down and fall asleep, instead of going to thegym to get in shape. Then I wake up a couple hourslater and shower, so I can go out with a couple offriends to some nearby clubs off-post.9 We stay outpretty late and decide to finally go home after drinkingsome beers. The only thing keeping us from staying outlater is the fact that we have to wake up for PT the nextmorning. My weekends are even worse; I stay out tillmaybe five or six in the morning, drink too much, anddo not wake up till one or two in the afternoon.

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Nonetheless, I am still having fun – a different kind offun, of course.10 But in the back of my mind, there isalways the thought of going back to the gym again andliving life the healthy way. It's always hard gettingmyself back on track, but I've been through it manytimes before, and I know sooner or later I can do it.Either way, I am having fun, but if it had to go one way,I'd definitely choose the healthy way; nothing feels betterthan being on top of the world.


1) 8RN That2) 11ADD Question3) 4C Both and4) 8RN Which5) 9PP Complicated Semicolon6) 8RN Missing that7) 9PP Dash Break8) 9PP Explanation Colon9) 6CC So10) 9PP Dash Break

At first glance on the surface, the essay belowis about the attractions of shopping forwomen, but at a deeper level it is a impliedcomparative essay about the differencesbetween the natures, tastes, and habits ofmen and women viewed from the perspectiveof the practice of shopping.

SHOP TILL YOU DROP BY CORY D. WALTON

There are over sixty thousand shopping malls in theUnited States today. This is a huge increase since theearly 1960s when enclosed shopping malls had theirstart. The majority of stores in the malls today are thereto attract women with their hunger for shopping. Manymen have long suffered from the increase in malls

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because the malls have made women the most difficultpeople with whom to shop. Women, unlike men, go tothe mall for a number of reasons. There are women whostay at the mall all day and do not buy anything; thereare some who try on everything but can’t make up theirminds; finally, there are those who buy everything, thendecide to take the items back once they get home.1

Oftentimes women go shopping just to look around.This is also known as “window shopping”. This is whena woman goes to see what the new styles are or whatthe latest fashions are. I can remember, as a little boy,going to the shopping mall with my mother and trying tounderstand why she was taking so long looking atclothing, shoes, and items for the house.2 The worstpart about it is that she wouldn’t buy anything. Wespent most of the day going from store to store, with hersaying things like “That would look nice in my livingroom” or “I could get this to go in my bathroom.” Shewould also go into shoe stores and have the salesmanget her shoes from the stockroom with no intentions ofbuying the shoes. At the end of the day, we would gohome empty-handed.

Not only do women spend all day at the mall and notbuy anything, but they also try on everything at thestore, and can never seem to make up their minds.3 Ihave been to the mall with my wife, gone into every storein the mall, and all I heard was, “This is too short or toolong,” or “These pants are too tight or they are tooloose,” or “This is too expensive.” When we would finallyfind something she liked, then we would have to findshoes to go with the outfit. And I would end up goingthrough the same thing all over again.4

Just when I thought that it was all over and that shehad finally gotten something she liked, she would waittill we got all the way home and then decide that shedidn’t like the clothes and wanted to take the itemsback.5 For some strange reason, neither her clothingnor shoes would fit anymore, nor did they look thesame.6 Maybe, she had grown on the way home.Somehow the lights at our house changed the color of

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the clothing because she didn’t like the colors or theway the clothes looked anymore. After hearing this, I feltas if I was losing my mind.

You would think that I would have learned from pastexperiences, yet I still end up getting tricked into goingshopping.7 Every time I go, the same thing happens allover again. I am still trying to figure out why women arelike this. But I realize finally that men and women areindeed different, and they do things that neither genderunderstands.8


1) 9PP Trio Semicolon2) 3V Present Participle (2)3) 4C Not Only, But4) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction5) 7AC When; 11ADD Compound Noun Clause6) 4C Neither Nor7) 6CC Yet8) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 6CC And

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Assessment of the Course of Instruction so

far with Suggestions for Employing Alternate

Methods of Writing

Students in Semester 1 wrote and shared with their fellow

students on the blackboard at least two examples for each sub-

form of the eleven forms of the sentence. They also were given

four (or more) assignments of writing paragraphs (starting with

one paragraph and ending with four or five paragraphs) in which

they were asked to incorporate, notate, and footnote several

specified examples of the eleven forms that they earlier practiced

writing as just isolated sentences.

Now that they have completed those four assignments in the

initial volume, at the start of this second semester (if not before

this), students should begin by being asked to practice some

alternative methods of learning to write before writing longer

essays.

Why should they practice alternate methods of writing? Well,

first, not every method works equally well for every student.

Second, no one method can work with complete perfection for

even a single student. In addition, every method that has

achieved some success and reputation as a method has been

found very useful or slightly useful for many students, so all

students should be exposed to all the method for their possible

benefits. Finally, the more approaches, methods, and

perspectives on writing to which students are exposed, the more

they are required, encouraged, and incited to be flexible, curious,

and thoughtful in their knowledge and reflection on the structure

and uses of language in varied contexts and situations.

The distinct advantage of the New Angle on Writing is that it is

more clearly defined, integrated, systematic, and comprehensive

in its presentation of the English language as a whole. However, it

validates, encourages, and invites the use of all other earlier

methods and approaches as useful and necessary elements of a

fully effective English course of instruction.

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So, we definitely encourage the use of other methods of

writing at this point at the start of semester 2 or earlier if found

desirable and helpful by teachers. For example, students might

be encouraged to do free writing per the writing philosophy and

instructions of Peter Elbow. Most definitely, they should have

at least several in-class sessions where they employ the

method of Sentence Combining as developed by William

Strong and others.

Sentence Combining is an excellent method for teaching

students to appreciate that writing involves choosing the

best of available options for expressing oneself. Sentence

Combining also highlights the necessity, effectiveness, and

value of rewriting the first, second, and third drafts of a

composition assignment. An additional great virtue of

Sentence Combining is that it highlights that sentences are

built from initial, simple kernel sentences that are then

expanded and developed by additions into final whole or

cumulative sentences. Thus, the structure of sentences

becomes more visible to students, and they realize that

sentences must be constructed by analysis, addition, and

rearrangement. They become less anxious and apprehensive

about changing and revising their sentences and more

confident and competent in reworking and rewriting their

compositions.

However, when students first learn the eleven forms of the

sentence before doing Sentence Combining exercises, they are far

more confident and competent in being able to employ a

repertoire of choices in combining sentences, and the exercises

are far more beneficial to them. The exercises in turn reinforce

the idea that no one form of any sentence is suitable or

appropriate for all occasions, and that the whole purpose of

knowing all the forms is to choose the best and most

appropriate form for any particular writing purpose and

audience. The two methods serve to illuminate and reinforce one

another and together synergistically increase the competence and

confidence of student writing.

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Remaining Several Assignments

Before Final ExaminationStudents should now be given several assignments of four to

five paragraphs where they are allowed to write freely without

the requirement of notating and footnoting specified forms.

Such assignments will permit them for the first time to

breathe more freely and to simply follow without hindrance

the natural flow of their inspiration and writing style, giving

free rein to their distinctive voice and choice of language.

Hopefully, however, their earlier exposure and practice of the

full range of sentence forms will promote their confidence and

competence to write better than they did previously and with

more discipline and variety of language lengths and effects

than was characteristic of their earlier writing in the free form

manner. Over time and with continued practice, they will

learn their unique way of combining with maximum

effect the natural ease of writing freely with the

disciplined forms of the sentences.

Teachers may give any specific topic they wish or leave it to

students to find their own topic. Below, we provide an

assignment that has worked effectively in our classes. The

actual assignment itself was not our own invention but

borrowed with permission from a fellow writing instructor at

UMUC, Peter Bollington. The assignment as written by Peter

is given below. We told students to write the assignment

without any notation or footnoting of the required forms.

Since the paragraphs below are not notated and footnoted,

teachers may wish to have students practice sentence

recognition of the 11 sentence forms by having them, singly

or in groups, notate and footnote the paragraphs below.

Below is the description of this assignment for students as

well as a sample model of the assignment that we gave the

students to assist them with their character sketches. We

place some of the better sketches also below to serve as

models for other students to follow.

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CHARACTER SKETCHCOMPOSITIONS

Composition Instructions

1. Define/describe a personality type. Use one paragraph.

2. Use a type of your own choice, or select one of the following:the buck shifterthe serial womanizer/man-izerthe know it allthe bullythe gossipthe micromanagerthe hypochondriacthe pessimistthe optimistthe wild one

3. Use the topic as a title (no quotation marks!) or a version ofthe topic.Examples for title: Mr. Knows It All; Miss Don’t Blame Me!

4. Move from general to specific as a pattern of development —that means start with a thesis (or focus) sentence whichgenerally defines the type.

Add further general clarification.

Then, use a specific example of someone you know who is agood example of this type.

Show this person in action, being the personality type youhave chosen to describe.

5. See next page for example of the Chronic Complainer.

(You may choose this type but if so, use your own ideas andlanguage to express yourself!)

Develop your paragraphs with the appropriate unity,coherence, cohesion, and emphasis. Think before andafter you write, and revise your sentence to express yourthoughts in language as clear and concise as possible.

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THE CHRONIC COMPLAINER

The chronic complainer is a person who seems to feaston dissatisfaction. Very little, or nothing, will bring forthhearty approval, and the result is constant gloom. JohnB. is an example of this breed. Riding on a ship withhim, I found his presence so oppressive I eventually tookto avoiding him. At breakfast the meal was alwaysunderdone or tasteless. Fond memories of magnificentbreakfasts in luxury hotels held his attention, and hepushed away his half-eaten breakfast with disgust. Nomatter the weather, it was always wrong. A cool breezeon the fantail with a pleasant view of sky and oceanreminded him that he was confined on a miserable pieceof iron rolling in the sea. His quarters were always eithertoo hot or too cold. In Oahu he was “sick of this (insertobscenity) heat.” No place he visited pleased him. InPohang the women had square faces and were cold. Thehigh point of his visit was being charged five dollars foran apple by an old man pushing a cart full of huge redapples. When he almost walked off a pier in Busan anddrowned himself in a fit of drunken complaining, I feltan urge to let him do it. Instead, I steered him towardthe ship where he could sleep and wake up to complainsome more. He never smiled and he never joked. JohnBozich, like all chronic complainers, was a miserablehuman being.

____________________________________

SLUGMAN by Matthew Ormita

Slugman sits around all day, continuously thinking ofgreat things he could be doing with his life; however,he’s either too tired or too lazy or too frightened to getup and take control of his life and turn his dreams intoreality. To him, life is nothing more than an epic dramaunfolding on nature’s silver screen, and he is itsultimate critic.

Eugene Brown was an old friend of the family’s. He hada reputation of always being tired, always being quiet,

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and always being lazy. Though I never really talked tohim, he fascinated me. My grandma would often holdfamily get-togethers at her house and Uncle Eugene wasalways the last one to show up. The whole family wouldalways smile and greet him, and he would alwaysrespond with a grunt. There were two main things hewould always ask at a party: “Eh, wherea da beeahstay?” and “May, you when make lau-lau or what?”Basically, that’s about all he’d say. The rest of the timehe’d just sit around sucking away on Bud-Light sixpacks, like little baby Joe feeding on Aunty May’sbreast. Although everyone knew Uncle Eugene, it wasalmost as if he was nothing but a ghost lurking in theshadows of his old friends. He would often sit at the sideof the house, eating a mixed plate and drinking a beer,speaking words of wisdom to himself. Sometimes he’dyell, sometimes he’d laugh, and sometimes he wouldeven cry. I know because I spotted him on numerousoccasions; however, I never approached him, instead Iwould sit and hide in a dark corner and listen to him.Uncle E. said some truly wonderful things at the side ofthat house; the most beautiful, profound words andthoughts – words and thoughts to live by – would justflow from him endlessly. He never shared these words orthese thoughts with anyone – just himself. Perhaps hewanted it that way.

I asked my dad about Uncle E. and his odd ways once.He responded that Uncle E. had been that way sincekindergarten. He’s never really changed. He, along withhis vocabulary, got bigger, but that’s about it. “My dadknew about his old friend’s talks with himself; in fact,the whole family did, but after a while, they just didn’twant to be bothered with it anymore. My grandma oncesaid, “Eugene always had the biggest dreams and thebiggest goals, but he never had any motivation orconfidence to achieve them. He’d just sit at our dinnertable and ramble on about his big plans and his deepthoughts, but then he’d just end up drinking himself tosleep. After a time – a long time – we all just got tired ofit and ignored him.” I suppose that’s why Uncle Eugenewas always alone, talking to himself at the side of the

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house. It didn’t matter how much noise he madebecause no one cared anymore.

Uncle Eugene died a few years ago; nobody really knewhe died. We didn’t go to his funeral since we liveoverseas. We called home to find out what happened.According to grandma, his funeral service was almostempty. Some of his best friends didn’t even show up. Hehad no wife, he had no children, and in the end, itseemed he didn’t even have many friends. All thoseprofound words and thoughts were nothing more than awaste of breath, a waste of time, a waste of life. EugeneBrown lived alone; Eugene Brown died alone.

MR. COOL by Rita Chung

Bo Benson was the most positive fellow you could everimagine. He rarely complained about anything thatseemed to be a big deal to others. When he would have aterrible day, he would brush it off and say thattomorrow was another clean, fresh day. Whenintolerable individuals would disrespect him, he wouldsmile and, oddly enough, buy them lunch. It was easierfor him to be nice to those who weren’t the friendly type,than to be upset or get riled up over their bad attitude.No obstacle could bring his optimistic outlook down,and whatever the situation in which he was placed, BoBenson always played it cool.

One day, after an exhausting day at work, he returnedto his apartment and whipped himself up a small snack.As he made his way towards the bedroom, he found hiswife in the bed with another man, who happened to behis best friend. Now, you would think in this particularsetting, Bo would have gone ballistic and explodedstraight through the roof. On the contrary, Bo invitedhis best friend for a quick bite to eat in the kitchen andasked him if his wife was as good in bed as he hadexpected. In the end, Bo moved out of the apartmentand cut off all contact with his former best friend and

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divorced his wife. “There’s other fish in the sea,” Bo toldhimself. He never lost his cool.

One evening, as Bo was transferring his belongings fromhis old apartment to his new apartment, a short, huskyman appeared in his presence. Bo could obviously tellthat this desperate being was in need of some food,shelter, and a good shower. The stranger, however, hadno intentions of being a gentleman of any sort, andpulled a gun on Bo, demanding his wallet. Bo just stoodthere, and invited the stranger into his old apartment tofix him up a hearty meal. The stranger could not resistthe offer and followed Bo willingly. Bo introducedhimself and told the man that he could have anythinghe wanted in the apartment. The stranger thanked Bo.Of course, Bo didn’t mind doing a favor for a person whowas in need of help. He told the stranger to stay in theapartment for as long as he liked. “Have a good night,and enjoy your stay,” said Bo, as he left the apartmentand made his way to his new apartment.

On a Monday morning, Bo went into work – with thatindisputable smile of his – and was prepared foranything thrown his way. Bo was an employee at thehuge electronic store, and he worked for the customerservice department. Many consumers who havequestions or want to comment on an item at the storeare directed to the customer service department. Andwith the numerous questions and comments expressedby customers on a daily basis, there is always that oneparticular customer who has a vulgar complaint and willdisplay his temper in an inappropriate manner. Thisparticular customer was an elderly, frumpy man, with afiery temper. He was criticizing the digital camera hehad purchased a few days ago, exclaiming that thesalesperson had sold him a faulty camera. He demandeda refund and stubbornly planted himself in front of Bo’sdesk. As usual, Bo smiled and offered the old man a cupof coffee and a cream cheese bagel. The man declinedBo’s offer and continued his uncontrollable rant. Bo gotout of his chair, walked around his desk, and asked tosee the man’s camera.

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“There’s nothing wrong with this camera, sir. I believeyou just misplaced the batteries in the oppositedirection from where they were supposed to be placed ,”explained Bo.

“That’s ridiculous!” screamed the customer.

“Oh, you’re right, sir,” agreeing with the man. “Let mefix that for you, sir,” said Bo.

Bo raised the camera above his head, and released itwithout any regards to the man’s reaction.

The camera slammed onto the tile floor and broke intomultiple pieces.

“What is wrong with you?!” shrieked the old man.

“Your see, sir, there is nothing wrong with your camera.Well, there was nothing wrong with your camera until Idropped it. Now it is in a million pieces. Please, pick upwhat’s left of your camera and bring it back to my deskso we can discuss what the problem is with your cameranow. Also, please show me a copy of your receipt, or wecannot accept the damaged product. That would bemuch appreciated.”

The man was shocked, appalled, and speechless. Bobrought out a broom and a dust pan for the man,smiled, and returned to his desk. In the end, the oldman received his money back for the camera.Coincidently however, instead of getting fired from hisjob, Bo surprised the store’s manager when he fixed thebroken camera. Apparently, Bo was quite the handyman, and the manager found him to be useful ifanything was to break or fall apart in the store. Bo wasmoved from the customer service department to theinstallation and mechanics department; all in all, Bokept his cool the entire time.

You may have met a small handful of people that aresimilar to Mr. Bo Benson. Remember, it’s the peoplewho keep their cool that end up living a pleasant andsimple life. When things get rough, display that keensmile of yours; keep your cool, and without the slightesthesitation, invite your problem for a snack or two.

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THE KING OF LIARS by Matthew J.

GavinThroughout life, many different kinds of people will

come and go. Some may leave an impression on us thatwe remember for a long time. In general, we rememberthose people that impact our lives for their positiveaspects and the good they brought to us. However, thereis an occasional somebody that will leave a stain ofnegativity wherever they go. They are not bad peoplereally, but they are usually disliked for a specific reasonor quality.

One such person that I remember negatively, I metduring basic training. His name was Christian M.J. Hehad a compulsion to make up a lie for just abouteverything that came out of his mouth. When I first methim, he exaggerated about what the army had given himin his enlistment contract. He claimed that he got a$10,000 signing bonus, guaranteed ranger training,above Top-Secret security clearance, and an R.O.T.C.scholarship to WVU (West Virginia University) once hegot out. One day after training before lights out, hementioned that he ran track and how it was his favorite,as well as his best, sport. He wanted us to believe hewas the best 400m runner in the entire state of NewYork. Later, he said the Drill Sergeant recommendedhim for the All-Army Track and Field Team, and thatthey would cut his training short in order that he couldtry-out.

Well, time proved that to be a hoax. He would lie aboutthings he didn’t need to lie about, such as what time hewoke up or how many sisters he had. He would even lieabout things when he knew that we knew he was lying.After our last P.T. test at basic training, he told us thathe maxed his sit-ups. When, in fact, another guy namedEric from our room was the one holding his feet, andknew how many he really did. During A.I.T., as it cametime for the final exam to determine who wouldgraduate or not, he lied about the score he got on histest. He told me he received a 94. That’s fine, but why lie

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to the person who is sitting next to you and can see thatyou only got an 84?

Christian M.J. was an unusual character. All of hislying will undoubtedly catch up to him someday,hopefully when telling the truth will count the most. Hemay not be much of a friend or a trustworthy co-worker,but I have to give him credit: he could sure imaginesome creative stories.

THE ‘FLIBBERDIGIBIT’ by Melinda Robertson

What is a Flibberdigibit? A Flibberdigibit is an unofficialterm that I use to describe co-workers with certainannoying, yet somehow endearing personality traits.People with these traits are monuments of inefficiency inthe workplace; they are not task-oriented people,preferring to work on several projects simultaneously,flittering from one project to another – often gettingthem confused – and never getting anything finished.Deadlines, schedules, and time clocks mean nothing tothem. They have cluttered desks, cluttered minds,cluttered handwriting, and (once you get to know them)strangely cluttered personal lives. However, balancingout these undesirable traits is their innate friendliness:a winning smile, an infectious giggle, a self-effacingsense of humor, a childlike sweetness, and a seeminglyuntarnishable innocence. When all of these traits arecombined, it creates a paradox; they annoy you withtheir ineptitude, yet you can’t dislike them because theyare just so darn nice.

My friend and former co-worker, Gloria, is aFlibberdigibit. We were introduced when I was hired at acredit union to fill the position that she had recentlyvacated so that she could transfer to anotherdepartment. Even though she no longer worked in mydepartment, she was assigned to be my trainer. Littledid I know that my nightmare was about to begin.

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As with any new job, it takes a few days, weeks, or evenmonths to settle in and get comfortable with your newsurroundings. With this in mind, I sat patiently besideher, pen and notepad in hand ready to write downwhatever wisdom she wanted to bestow upon me, as thetraining began. Within minutes I noticed that she was –nicely put – disorganized. (This should have been myfirst clue as to her true personality.) However, becauseshe was so nice, I mistakenly rationalized herdisorganization by assuming that she had not been toldthat she would be training another employee. Since shewas not expecting me, she was unprepared. Becauseshe was unprepared, I didn’t mind waiting while shechatted nervously and tried to consolidate her manypiles of clutter into one giant pile. An hour and a halflater, when she was done, she continued chatting withme. (This should have been my second clue.)

However, because I have trained another employeebefore, I understood the reason behind her incessantchatting: it would be easier for her to train me if sheknew something about my personality. I spent my entirefirst day on the job with Gloria; we ate lunch together,and even went to the ladies room together, for a grandtotal of nine hours. At the end of the day, I knew enoughabout her to write her biography, but absolutely nothingabout my new job. Although she was a nice person and Iliked her, I quietly requested a new trainer in order tokeep myself from getting fired.

Over the months that followed, I learned more aboutGloria. Her disorganization and chattiness wereinfamous. The position that she had transferred intowas a lower position, and she had requested it becauseshe felt that it was more customer-oriented (which shewas good at) and less detail-oriented (which she wasn’tgood at) like my job. It also meant that she could spendthe entire day on the telephone talking to people whohad questions about their accounts. Things wentrelatively well for a while. We had problems every nowand then because she had messed something up, butthe problems weren’t so bad that I couldn’t fix them.

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Every time I had to correct one of her mistakes, I wouldget mad at her, but because of her personality, I couldnever stay mad at her – nobody could, she was just toonice.

In the end, Gloria got fired. The last straw came whenshe “forgot” to cancel a debit card after it had beenreported as stolen. The thief used the card to go on a$3,000 shopping spree, and since the card had not beencancelled, the credit union had to reimburse the moneyout of pocket. Altogether, she had been given moresecond chances than any other employee in the historyof the company, not on the basis of her ability, but onthe basis of her personality.

THE DRAMA QUEEN by Anjeanette Hammell

Have you ever met anyone that is so melodramatic thatyou never know if the predicaments in their liveswarrant serious concern or not? Well, permit to me tointroduce you to my friend “T” – we will use just herinitial so that she can remain anonymous – the dramaqueen. But before I tell you about her, let me explainwhat a drama queen is. A drama queen is a person thatexaggerates every situation and circumstance in theirlives whether good or bad. Whenever this person isaround, you can guarantee that he or she will alwaysmanage somehow to become the center of attraction.You can count on the fact, when they are in the vicinity,that there will definitely be a moment to remember.Take “T”, for example; you can be assured she’ll alwaysleave a lasting impression wherever she goes.

Every day for T is drama. There never has to be aspecial moment or event needed to trigger her impulseto make a production of a situation. She is alwaysprepared to perform for even the simplest of situations.

Once we were on a road trip from Sasebo to Yokosuka.There were five of us in the van, which departed at six in

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the evening. Prior to our leaving Sasebo we decided,since only 3 of us had a Japanese driver’s license andthe trip would take possibly fifteen hours, that eachperson should drive five hours. It was also decided thatthe transfer of drivers would be made at rest stopswhere we could also visit the restroom, have a snackbreaks, and refuel the van. Tina, my friend with alicense, chose to drive first, T second, and I would drivelast. When it was time for T and me to switch as drivers,we stopped at a rest stop just as before during thetransfer of drivers. Disregarding my objection, T got acoffee.

After only fifteen minutes on the road again, T exclaims“Angie, we need to stop”. Knowing what she meant, Itold her that she had to wait until we reached the nextrest stop because there was no way I could turn around.Two minutes later she says again “Oh my God, Angie wehave got to stop”. This time, truly believing this was anextreme emergency, I began speeding down the highwayto reach the next rest stop as quickly as possible. Uponarrival at the rest stop, she yells, waking the otherpassengers, jumps out the van holding her rear, andproceeds to the restroom in the same manner, yellingand holding her rear.

One of the other passengers realized this would be agood time for her to use the restroom before continuingthe rest of the trip. When the other passenger returned,she mentioned that even though T was in the restroomall alone, she was still being dramatic. She was stillyelling and Ohing so loud that you could hear her at theentrance of the restroom. Upon her return from therestroom, she was still being melodramatic about thesituation while stating that she only had a bit of gas.This goes to show that whether she was alone or with agroup, the drama continued.

Another fond memory of one of T’s Academy Awardwinning performances was when we gave her a surprisebirthday party. However, this party was not really asurprise to her because someone had let the informationslip in her presence. She entered the house where the

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party was talking place, we all said surprise, and thedrama began. She yelled out, grabbed her chest, andgasped for air as if she were about to die. We all lookedat her and began to laugh, because we all knew that shehad known about the party prior to her arrival, but thisallowed for another page in the drama queen’s book ofoutstanding performances.

So if you’re ever around someone, and they begin todemonstrate some of these attributes, you can surelylabel them as a drama queen.

THE HYPOCHONDRIAC by Natsuko

IwashitaThe Hypochondriac is the person who worries all thetime about their health. They also have strong beliefsabout whatever they think is good for their health.Meanwhile, this type of person can sometimes get sickeven when they are not sick simply because they believethey are sick.

I met Mrs. Hypochondriac at the company where Ipreviously worked. She was a mother of three childrenand looked like a very domestic type of person. At thattime, she often spent her weekends enjoying her hobby –gardening. At her lovely garden, she grew organicvegetables, instead of flowers, for her and her family’shealth meals. She also raised some herbs there: lemonbalm, sweet basil, etc. She sometimes picked up somefresh herbs from her garden and made us herb tea forbreak time; according to her, herbs could make us feelrelaxed. I normally enjoyed her tea with a fresh leaf andlooked forward to her homemade cookies which werebrought with her tea. She was very particular aboutwhat she ate. Her sugarless sweetener, low fatmayonnaise, low salt soy sauce, cider vinegar and blackvinegar which she used for her lunch and teatime werealways essential items in our refrigerator at work.

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However, there were some contradictions about whoMrs. Hypochondriac was. In spite of her great effort, shelooked a little overweight, and she herself complainedabout that. Though there were her healthy items in therefrigerator, there were always biscuits, chocolates, andcookies in her desk drawer.

Second, she easily got sick. Headaches, toothaches,stomachaches – these were the symptoms she oftenhad. Fortunately, they did not usually become veryserious. But she could get sick from various, for meunexpected, reasons, unfortunately. The previousnight’s quarrel with her son, rain, and her dentist’streatment to her tooth caused her sickness, for example.Once she got sick, she suffered at her desk all day,wondering if she should go see a doctor or not,searching for deeper causes.

I spent almost three years next to her desk at work. Asa whole, I liked her, including her hypochondria.Although there was nothing I could do for her sickness,there was something I could learn about her attitude tohealth. One day, her herb tea relaxed me. I had a cold,and I felt a little sick at work, and she was kind enoughto take me to a doctor. After I came back with her, shemade a cup of tea for me. I still felt sick, but her teamade me happy.

MR. DONE IT ALL by Chris Page

I had the opportunity to work with a special breed ofman. This type of person has done everything, but whatmade him special was that he had done it better thananyone else had. This particular person is known bymany as SAM (S.A.M is his initials). I remember talkingone day about hunting, and how I had once killed twodeer within a couple of hours. SAM replied that he hadonce killed two deer with a single shot. When he hadshot, the bullet had entered the first deer just above theshoulder, exiting through his chest. It exited the firstdeer at the right angle and the right velocity to penetrate

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the skull of the second, which had been feeding with hishead down behind the first deer.

In another instance, a co-worker mentioned that hehad made a trip from California to Georgia in a 48-hourtime frame. SAM then had to mention that he had madea similar trip in 36 hours. Going well over 100 miles perhour, he managed to pass policemen that would alwaysgive up chasing him after realizing he was not going tostop. If you had run two miles along the ocean, SAMhad run faster, jumped higher, and swam across boththe Pacific and Atlantic. Sam was a unique individual;he could make up a story in a split second that wouldexplain in detail what he had done and how he managedto do it better than anyone else.

THE OPTIMIST by Thomas Dockery

The optimist is a positive-thinking individual. Optimistsseek to find the brighter side of most situations. Aperson who is an optimist does not allow thoughts ofnegative outcomes to dictate the decisions they make.Being an optimist requires the ability, even whenconfronted with a troubling circumstance, to see thebetter side of life and build on the brighter aspects ofany situation.

I view myself as an optimist and always have been one.Early in my childhood, I experienced the divorce of myparents with the breakup of their marriage. It wasextremely difficult to deal with at first, especiallyknowing that my father would not be around as muchas usual, that I would have to help out with my youngersiblings, and that I would have to be a good role modelfor them. It would have been easy for me to become apessimist and stray for the worst. I could have evenused the divorce – which happened when I was eightyears old – as an excuse to not succeed in life: screwingup in school, hanging with the wrong group of friends,or engaging in substance abuse. These are examples of

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how young teens have found themselves moving in thewrong direction. However, the situation actually mademe a stronger person and helped me become the personI am today. I channeled that negative energy intopositive energy and dispersed it throughout my life.

During the past year, I was faced with the challenge ofhaving to cope with a busy work and school schedule.Balancing these two important factors could haveproven stressful and may have resulted in giving up. Onseveral occasions, I had twenty-page papers due for myclasses in addition to having to work twelve-hour andsometimes overnight shifts. My friends could notcomprehend how I managed everything without lettingthe stress finally get to me.

However, my motto is to successfully accomplish what Ineed to do – to clear my mind of any negative thoughtsthat could potentially inhibit me and use any spare timewisely. I have a will and desire to never becomecomplacent and always strive for more. This issomething that cannot be inherited, cannot be imitated,and cannot be taught, but only realized internally. Willand desire – something that you’re not born with – hasto come from within. Being the optimist that I am, Ialways respond by insisting, even though mycircumstances may seem difficult and require somesacrifices, that the end goal is of utmost importance.

MY HAIR HURTS by James White

Some people think of any ailment to get out of doingwork. You all know the people I’m talking about. Theyalways have some sort of affliction that keeps them fromthe jobsite. They claim all kinds of things: my kneehurts, my ankle hurts, and my hair hurts. They usuallyexpend more energy to get out of work than they wouldif they just did the job. Most of the time, it starts withlittle hints such as my knee has really been bothering

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me, or this morning it hurt to comb my hair. The set-upis all part of the plan with these guys.

When I think about these hypochondriacs, one personcomes to mind. We’ll call him Charlie. Charlie was anexpert at finding new illnesses and ailments to get out ofwork. He was always extra careful not to use the sameexcuse more than once. He had the whole thing down toa science. Anytime there was some kind of hard andstrenuous task, we would expect some of the usualprecursors. When work would get a little hard, he wouldbe on his way to the medial clinic. I don’t think oldCharlie ever finished anything he started.

Charlie even broadened his excuses to his family. Ithink his son was the sickest kid on the planet. Hewould always say that he had an appointment to takehis son to the doctor. It was always the usual childhoodillnesses: fever, that flu, yellow fever. It was the samewith his wife. The only difference was she was usuallyhaving surgery. Her body must be covered with surgicalscars. I felt sympathy for his wife when people askedhow she was doing, and she had no idea what they weretalking about. Maybe, she didn’t know he was off everyday by noon.

Surely, Charlie was a medical marvel. How could anyone person have so much wrong with him and still bebreathing? Even though he was lazy and complainedimmensely about his health, he was still a very likeableguy. He was always willing to help out a friend or loansomeone a few dollars. I guess that’s why he got awaywith it for so long. No one really minded that much.Everyone has their faults; his was his fear and dislike ofwork. He certainly exhausted every available excuse toescape going to work and staying there until the end ofthe day.

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THE GOSSIP by Yoko Kitagawa

The gossip is the person who enjoys talking about otherpeople’s private lives, actions, and their personalities –all the time. This person may gossip about many others– not knowing that she too is gossiped about by others.

April Smith, one of my friends and one of my co-workers, is the queen of the gossips. She has beenworking at the same place for more than 10 years; sheknows more about anything than any workers there;she gossips about other workers whom she has decidedare unnecessary for the store – her store.

For example, Mr. New-Co-Worker is having a hard timememorizing the locations for the different merchandise,so it takes him a long time to stock the shelves.Everyone thinks that he can be a little quicker, but thatis all we say about him; however, April’s mouth does notstop there. First, she tells other workers that he isextremely slow; second, she tells them that he must bestupid or even retarded; third, she tells them how poorhe has been doing things; finally, she tells us about allhis failures past and present for which there is noevidence. And finally, she talks about him over and overagain until the victim feels that he is in a terrible fix;here, she gains a victory.

Although she thinks that she is doing the right thing,others gossip that she is so spiteful and so thoughtless.Maybe, sometime in the future, there will be someonewho will pay her back, the same way she has done tothe others – hopefully.

Everyone knows that gossiping is never good, yet manypeople, it seems, have to gossip as a stress release. Alittle bit may be okay; however, too much spreadssorrow and unhappiness and may occasion revengewhen least anticipated.

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PERSONAL ESSAY COMPOSITION

Composition Instructions

Write an essay in which you summarize and analyze thehistory of your life so far, and then evaluate the possibleimplications and relevance of your past experience foryour present and future. Formulate some kind of thesisstatement about the bearing of your past on yourpresent and future to guide your essay.

In the essay write a paragraph or more, giving anaccount of your life using narration as the pattern ofdevelopment; write a paragraph or more about yourinterests and goals in life, using classification andillustration as patterns of development; and finally writea paragraph or more in which you analyze and evaluateyour whole past with respect to its influence andrelevance for your present and future.

Develop your paragraphs with the appropriate unity,coherence, cohesion, and emphasis. Think before andafter you write, and revise your sentences to expressyour thoughts in language as clear and concise aspossible.

The above instructions are to guide and assist you inproviding content, direction, and organization to youressay, but you are not required to strictly follow theinstructions. Feel free to find your own content, form,and organization for the essay. Though we prefer thatyou write about your actual life, if you areuncomfortable doing so for some reason, we can’trequire you to do it. In that case, you are free to invent afictional autobiography of your own life or a fictionalbiography of an imaginary person’s life.

For the assignment above, students were not required tonotate or footnote specified sentence forms. They wereallowed to write freely.

Below are some of the student essays in response to theassignment. Though they were not required to usesentence forms, you will notice that students did

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frequently employ them. You may wish to engage yourown students in formspotting – having them identify arepresentative sample of the various sentence forms bynotating and footnoting them, either in groups workingtogether or individually.

MY LIFE: A WORK IN PROGRESS by Melinda

Robertson

The story of my life is pathetically boring. It’s so boringthat total strangers have been known to lapse intounconsciousness and begin snoring whenever I try to talkabout it. I will tell you the story of my thirty-three years ofexistence on this planet, but I must warn you – read itsomeplace where you don’t mind falling asleep.

According to my mother, she was in labor and in searing,gut-wrenching, life-ending pain for a least a month before Iwas finally born. If she is to be believed, I had the biggesthead, the broadest shoulders, the fattest tummy, thelongest legs of any baby ever born, and I weighed a goodtwenty pounds if I was an ounce. If I had been a fish, theywould’ve had me stuffed, mounted, and hung on a wallsomeplace. I am also single handedly responsible for thestretch marks and the ‘baby fat’ roll that adorn her stomachto this day. Or at least this is what she tells me every timeshe gets mad at me.

The truth of the matter is far less interesting. I was bornat Saint Francis Xavier Hospital in downtown Charleston,South Carolina on the August 23, 1969 at 9:52a.m. This,according to my father, was less than twenty-four hoursafter my mother went into labor. My birth announcementlists my weight as having been eight pounds, eleven andone-half ounces, and my overall length as twenty and one-half inches. (A far cry from my mother’s recollection of theevent.)

The only part of the story that my parents agree on is myextended family’s odd reaction to my arrival. ‘Back in the

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old day’ there were no ultrasound machines or widely usedtests that could accurately predict what sex I would bewhen I was born. Since the first five children of mygeneration had been born male, everyone assumed that Iwould also be male. But, of course, I fooled them all.

When my father called to inform them of my birth, myAunt Catherine (then a teenager) answered the phone with atired “It’s a boy, isn’t it?” When my father (a notoriouspractical joker) said “Nope, it’s a girl,” she called him a liar.The conversation went back and forth like that for a goodfive minutes before she began to believe him. Once heconvinced her that I really was a girl, she screamedexcitedly, hung up on my father, and shared the news withmy grandparents. The streak was over: after five boys,grandbaby number six had turned out to be a girl. Mygrandmother went into overdrive and called every livingrelative, every member of her church group, every friend,every neighbor, and every acquaintance that she couldthink of, and excitedly told them that she finally had agranddaughter. With grandma manning the phone lines,word traveled fast. My grandfather was reportedly soexcited, that he went out and mowed the lawn inpreparation for my arrival home from the hospital. (If youknew him, you’d understand what a feat that was.)

When I came home, I was greeted by hordes of hillbillyrelatives who were happily celebrating my arrival, but whowere still a little perplexed by my having been born female.A few of the more intrepid ones actually took off my diaperand checked to make sure that my parents were not playinga joke on them. Even my uncle Clyde, who had fatheredfour boys, demanded to know what my father had donedifferently so that he could try doing it the next time. As itturned out, I would be the last child – the baby – for thenext fourteen years, until my aunt Catherine gave birth.(She had two boys.)

Once the novelty wore off, I was permitted to get on withthe serious business of growing up. My immediate familyincluded my father, who was a police officer; my mother,who was a grocery store cashier; and my only sibling, abrother, who was three years older. In the deep American

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South, my family was not unusual. We weren’t rich by anymeans, but we always had food on the table, clothes on ourbacks, toys to play with, and of course, tons of familyaround.

My entire extended family attended the same church, sothat even though we lived many miles apart, we saw eachother every Sunday, All of the cousins would sit together ina pew (as far away from the adults as we could get awaywith) and misbehave until one of us, or all of us, ended upgetting a spanking. After church, the whole family wouldcongregate at my grandparents’ house for dinner. Thewomen would stay in the kitchen laughing, joking, andsometimes singing while they cooked together; the menwould stay in the living room, watching TV, and talkingabout their jobs, until dinner was served. The kids usuallyplayed outside, terrorizing the neighborhood, until we werecalled in to eat. I always loved when Sunday rolled around,because then there was laughter and hugs and kisses, butmost of all, because my parents wouldn’t dare fight in frontof the rest of the family. And they fought constantly, soSunday was truly a day of rest for me.

My parents were Bible thumping, hillbilly holy rollerswho were becoming increasingly disenchanted with oneanother. Having both been raised in the ‘duty and honorbound’ Bible Belt, divorce was considered to be a sin, andsomething that is only done as a last resort. So they fought,screaming and yelling constantly, hurling insults andinnuendoes, for several years. They separated many times,only to get back together a few weeks or months later. Afterten years, when they were sure that they hated each othercompletely, they finally filed for divorce. And of course, justwhen I thought the worst was over, a very nasty custodybattle began. The custody battle would continue in thecourts until my brother and I were teenagers. My motherwould eventually be found guilty of physical and emotionalchild abuse, and lose custody of my brother and I for a fewyears. (Unfortunately, the damage had already been done,and the therapy only marginally worked.)

My parents were so consumed with hating and hurtingeach other that they did not realize that they were ripping

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out the hearts of their children. It’s hard to verbalize thetorture that my brother and I went through, being stuck inthe middle, and torn between them. It’s not that they didnot love us, because they did. Their love was just a little bitwarped and defective at times.

It wasn’t all bad; there were good times too. Like the timethat my father freaked out when I had my first date. He hadbeen alternating between pacing the floor like a nervousNellie, and eating ice-cream washed down with Malox for aweek prior to the date. I was in my bedroom with mystepmother, who had helped me get ready, when my datefinally arrived. I was a little worried about what my fatherwas going to do to him, so I made sure that I came out assoon as I knew that he was there. When I entered the livingroom, my father – an imposing 6’1” tall, big framed man,with an angry expression on his face – was the first thing Isaw. He was sitting in his recliner, surrounded by guns,knives, and whatever other weapons that he had taken frompeople (he was a cop) over the years that somehow had notmade it to an evidence locker. He was also cleaning anominous looking double barrel shotgun. My poor date wasjust standing there sweating bullets. My father looked athim intently, put the shotgun barrel on the bridge of myboyfriend’s nose, and said in true southern ease “Boy, doesdown the barrel of this thing look clean to you?” To whichhe replied nervously, “Yes sir, Mr. Smith.” My father thensaid “Good, ‘cause if you bring my daughter home late orwith so much as a scratch on her, down the barrel of thisthing is gonna be the last thing you ever see.” (He broughtme home early.)

I was still living with my father when I met my husband,Jim. I was only seventeen when we met, and Jim wastwenty-six. He was a Mormon, in the Navy, divorced, andalready a father to one child – which in my father’s eyes,made him the Anti-Christ. By the time that we began datingseriously, I had reached the legal age of consent (18), whichmeant that my father could not stop me from dating him.(He also couldn’t arrest him or shoot him.) We got engagedafter three weeks, and then he went out to sea for sixmonths.

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When he came home we moved in together, and much tomy family’s horror, ‘lived in sin’ for several months prior togetting married. Jim decided to make an honest woman outof me on his twenty-seventh birthday, so we eloped at thecounty courthouse. (Much to the relief of my family!)

We’ve had a good marriage so far. It hasn’t all been good,but it hasn’t all been bad either. There have been times ofgreat mourning (Jim’s son was killed in a car accident a fewyears after we were married – he was eleven years old)which we have managed to survive, and there have beenjoyous times, which we cherished. We’ve cried together,laughed together, and fought together for fifteen years. Idon’t think that there is anyone else that could put up withme for that long, and still profess to love me. That makesme one of the luckiest people in the world.

I survived my parents’ divorce, the vicious custody battle,a few years of physical abuse, and several years ofemotional abuse, to finally find some happiness. I still havehang-ups – the responsibility and sacrifice of being a parentfrightens me; if I get it wrong and the kid turns out bad, itwill be my fault. Occasionally, I have a minor spell ofdepression (nothing major) and some self-esteem issues, butit’s nothing that wasn’t anticipated. Overall, I’m okay. I’velearned a lot from the lessons in my life, and the biggest oneis not to make the same stupid mistakes that my parentsdid. (Learning by bad example – what a concept!)

I call my life a ‘work in progress’ because I’m not perfectyet. I don’t think anybody is, nor should they be. Thatwould take the fun out of this mystery called life. I wasreading a book on Psychology the other day, and there wasa word that they used to describe people like me; it was‘resilient.’ It was used to describe people who have facedhardships in their early life, but still managed to make adecent go of it. Will wonders never cease, there’s a word forme, and best of all – it’s not a curse word.

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FINDING MY NICHE BY DESTINY S. LARBERG

One significant day twelve years ago stands out vividly inmy mind. On that profound day, my life changed forever inmany ways. Just when I thought my life was finally cruisingdown a safe road, someone put a fork in it, leading me intounknown territory.

At the time, I was ten years old. Each week my SocialWorker, Anna Pallid, came to my foster home and took meon a different outing, just the two of us. This particularweek Anna took me to a restaurant named “MarieCalendar’s” for dinner. Our time together was fashioned asmy time to talk about my feelings, having her undividedattention.

We chose a dimly lit booth in a quiet corner of therestaurant. Having only a pair of shorts and a summer tanktop on, I felt chilled by the frigid vinyl seat. I studied themenu, being able to have anything I wanted for dinner.Looking back and forth from the chicken section to that ofthe pasta and seafood dishes, I could not decide on aparticular entrée. So, I waited for Anna to order and pickedwhat she had, Fettucini Alfredo.

Our conversations varied widely on each of our outings.Sometimes we talked about school, my foster siblings, orsomething I did that week. Occasionally we would get intodeep conversations, dredging up feelings of the past andfeelings about my birth brother and sister. I rarely was ableto see my brother, Johnny, and my sister, Sandra, as wehad been split up four years earlier by the Child ProtectiveServices. Now I had two foster sisters, Katie and Angela.

My foster Parents, Judy and Danny Duncan, took me inwhen I was eight years old. Many foster children had comeand gone, now leaving a comfortable family of five. The threeof us foster sisters would soon be adopted. I told Annaabout how we were all going to move into Grandma’s fourbedroom house and how excited I was because I might beable to have my own room with an easel by the window atwhich to paint.

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Upon finishing dinner that certain evening, Annainformed me that I could have any piece of pie I wanted.Marie Calendar’s is famous for their wide variety ofhomemade pies. Of course, I chose my favorite, pecan pie.

Dessert was served, and I dug in savoring the mix ofcreamy caramel and toasted pecans. Our conversationsteered towards Mr. and Mrs. Duncan. Anna explained tome that the Duncan’s feelings on the “big step” of adoptingthe three of us girls had changed. None of us knew that Mr.and Mrs. Duncan were only going to pick two out of thethree of us. As Anna told me this, I wasn’t worried about notbeing picked. Of course, they would choose Katie and me,since Angela was the slightly retarded one, I imagined.

Anna went on to say, “Mr. and Mrs. Duncan areconcerned that you may need more individual attention.”She explained to me that the Duncans had noticed I had alot of problems getting along with Katie and Angela.Through careful consideration, the Duncan’s decided itwould be not be in my best interest for them to adopt me.

Upon hearing this news from Anna, I dropped my fork,completely relinquishing my appetite. I could not even chewwhat remained in my mouth, spitting it onto the plate andpushing it away. Oncoming tears completely blurred myvision. As the room began to spin, I fell against the wall,balling up into the corner. Feeling completely empty anddrastically hurt inside, the only comfortable thought washow much better it would be if I were dead, not being ableto feel anything. A few minutes ago I felt like a flower in abeautiful garden, flourishing together as one. Now I was justa troublesome weed, being plucked from a garden bed anddiscarded.

“No one will ever love me,” I thought. The words “Nobodywants me… I don’t belong anywhere…” spilled from mymouth between sobs. Being with the Duncans longer thanany of my other foster homes, I had begun to consider themas my family. Now they didn’t want me anymore. I began tothink that maybe I was such a bad seed that I would neverhave a real family. Would I always be alone in this glacialworld? Why couldn’t I just die?

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Anna placed her arms around me, trying to offer mesome comfort. I felt safe between her arms knowing shecouldn’t abandon me too. Sniveling, I asked if I could gohome with her, knowing I never could.

“Where will I go now? Will I never see my friends again?Will I have to change schools?” So many questions thatcould not yet be answered.

“I do have some good news, though,” Anna proclaimed,her eyes displaying sympathy. She said that she found awonderful home for me with a single woman whom, for thepast five years, had been praying and preparing to adopt achild just like me.

I realize today just how lucky I was to find someone whowanted to adopt a ten-year-old child. Most children by thatage are considered “unadoptable” by Social Services, usuallyliving their entire childhood bouncing around from onefoster home to another.

Anna went on to tell me that I would be meeting with mynew adoptive mom the next day and leaving the Duncans inone short week. Anna thought this would be a good homefor me; I would be an only child and would get all theattention I needed.

“Before you meet her tomorrow, I have something toshow you,” Anna said, handing me a picture portfolio. “Thisis from the woman, Diane Smilari. She made this book toshow you what your new family will be like.”

Reluctantly taking the book, I opened it up and studiedthe pages. Each page had a few pictures, each withcaptions. First, I saw a picture of a little brown bedroom,decorated safari style, to be all my own. It looked inviting,with little pillows and stuffed animals on the bed. I couldeven make out a stack of Zoobooks (my favorite magazine atthe time) sitting on the nightstand.

Next, I saw pictures of a family soon to be mine. Thepictures were filled with so much love and fun. I could tellDiane had a big family and that they were a really close knitfamily as well. Everyone was smiling and laughing. Oneman, who would soon become my Uncle Johnny, had a

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goofy expression on his face. He was playing with some kidsthat would soon be my cousins. I yearned to be a part ofthat picture. Could I be a missing piece in their puzzle?

An elderly couple sat in the center of one of the familypictures. They must be special, I thought, to have createdsuch a fun, loving, and generous family. I wanted to meetthem, be embraced by them, and belong to their family. Ineven more pictures, I learned that Diane liked to travel.Pictures of her at the airport in Newark, New Jersey and inthe snow in Kalispell, Montana made me feel like I belongedright by her side.

I found myself filled with so many emotions. I wasscared, angry, hurt, lonely, yet excited and loved, all at thesame time. I would soon be leaving all that I knew andentering a life that was strange and foreign. Would thisfamily love and accept me? Would Diane turn out to be the“Mommy” I’ve been longing for? As I struggled to be strong, Ikept telling myself that I had changed families before, and Iwould have the courage to do it again. I hoped this familywould not reject me like the others. Maybe this would be thefamily I had been waiting for.

Turning to the last page in the book, I saw somethingthat took all of my worries and fears away. A miniaturemirror was glued to that page. Beneath it, in brightlycolored letter, the caption read “All that is missing is you.”

ALMOST 20 YEARS OLD BY YOKO KITIGAWA

I will turn 20 years old in a couple months; I’m going tobe an adult officially in Japan. Before I will be out of myteens, I’m going to look back over the 19 years of my life,and get myself ready for adulthood.

On the very hot summer day, July 19, I started tobreathe air; my life had begun. Wishing that I would have abig heart like an ocean, my parents named me Yoko, theocean’s child. I was the only child then, and according to my

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mother, she took care of me like a princess; she tookuncountable numbers of pictures of me; she spent all hermoney on me, and she was always with me.

This I-am-the-special-one life did not last for very long.One after another, my little brothers and a sister were born.I had been a big sister for a while, but when my twoyoungest brothers were born, at the age of 9, I became alittle mommy. Because both of my parents were working allthe time, I had no time to play with my friends after schoolor Sundays; I had to take care of my “kids”.

I did not like being a “mother” at all back then; however,I now think that it was a great experience and gave me goodlessons to be a mother in the future.

While I was being a little mommy, I had to be a smart,intelligent sister, the one who is a great model for her fellowsiblings. My mother knew and believed that I was a little bitsmarter than the other children because I really was, andalso it was proven by the intelligence test that I took when Iwas three years old. (In fact, I could read easy storybookswhen I was three years old!) She taught me various thingswhen I was little, and she sent me to supplementary, yetadvanced private schools during my elementary schoolyears. I sometime felt too much pressure on me, but I nevergave up; in fact, I loved studying and enjoyed being No.1 inclass. I am still that way, and, intellectually, I am the best ofthe five children.

This does not mean that the rest of my brothers and mysister are stupid; they all have something at which they aregood. Masahiro, 18 years old, is a great soccer player; healways has been captain of the teams he has joined; he wason the varsity of the Sasebo soccer team. Haruka, 15 yearsold, is a great ballet dancer, and also she is good at cookingand cleaning (I think she is and will be a better “mother”than I am.) Takahisa, 11 years old, is also a good soccerplayer; he is one of the best players in his team. Theyoungest, 10-year-old Akiharu, is basically good ateverything except for studying: drawing, dancing, playing –all the creative things are what he is good at.

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Not surprisingly, we did not become this wayautomatically. Our great abilities are the outcomes of ourmother’s effort. I really thank my mother for whatever shehas done for us. My mother is the best; she is my best andclosest friend, and she is the woman whom I look up to themost. She works all day and all the time, making our livingby her great skill as a beautician – by herself. She works toraise us. She works because she wants us to receive a goodeducation and acquire skills. She always says, “Anyone cansteal your money and your tangible possessions, but no onecan steal your skill that you have earned.” This is why weare good at something, at least one thing. And I believe thatshe is right.

On my 17th birthday, my mother gave me the mostwonderful birthday present – a life in the U.S as anexchange student and with it the acquisition of a languageskill. I could not believe that I could actually go and studyaboard. This was the present for all of my future birthdays,and this was the best present of my life.

I left for the U.S full of excitement and a little bit ofnervousness in my heart; my life away from home hadbegun. Two years of life in America was not at all easy: Istruggled with the English language, I had a hard timemaking friends, and I missed my family. However, my hostfamily was so great and so nice: they helped me learn thenew language, took me everywhere they went to meet newfriends, and loved and took care of me like a real familymember. I also tried so hard to get better; I studied all day, Itried to talk to students at school, and I tried to be attentiveto the family as much as possible. With their support andmy own effort, my English improved gradually. I made somany friends, and the family gave me so much love. Withinthis short time, I learned many things, and I grew upconsiderably as a person, as a human being, and as anadult-to-be.

Now I am back in Japan. With the English ability Iacquired in the U.S., I got a job on the U.S. navy base as themini-mart lady. This is maybe the only job that an English-speaking 20-year-old Japanese girl could get. I don’t like itat all (I feel stupid), but I have to work because I need

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money to get more education to work for the organizationthat works for world peace and happiness, the UnitedNations. I want to work for people – especially children –who are suffering from poverty. Poverty is one of the mostserious problems around the world: there are millions ofbabies who cannot survive a month; there are millions ofchildren who have to work to make their living instead ofgetting an education. I want to make a difference even if it isa little bit.

Through 19 years and 10 months, I have experiencedand learned so many things that I cannot even expressthem all. Every single thing has educated me and helped megrow; every person who I have met taught me something.With all things that I have in my tiny body, I’m going to takea big step into adulthood. And I will learn even more and getcloser and closer to my goal – little by little.

BETTY’S BIOGRAPHY BY BETTY WARREN

I cannot count the number of times I have sat down andtried to write this biography and never finish. I know thatthat is because I have no desire to tell my life story. My lifeis very good now, and I am happy, but that has not alwaysbeen the case. Regardless, I must do this, so let’s begin.

I was born on March 23, 1969, in a small town inKansas. My mother was 17, and in love with her high schoolsweetheart. My father was 19, and at the time of my birthwas away at college. None of my grandparents were happywith this situation. In fact, my father’s parents refused toaccept both myself and my mother.

When I was 3 months old, my mother was sent away toan aunt’s house, and told she needed to get her life in order.She was gone for five months. During this time, my fatherwas forbidden to see me as well. What neither of them knewat the time was that their parents had planned this. Theyhad planned for them to both be away at the same time. Theday after my mother left, my maternal grandparents filed for

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adoption on the grounds of abandonment. But I never knewany of this until much later.

I remember growing up in a small town in southernWyoming, and being a very happy little girl. I had knownsince I was very young that I had been adopted, but thatwas insignificant at the time.

My mom worked in a department store, and my dad wasa truck driver. I used to go with him in his truck in thesummer, and on school vacations. I was a spoiled kid and adaddy’s girl. On Sundays I used to go with him fishing,hunting, or whatever he wanted to do on his only day off. Ididn’t care what we did, as long as I got to tag along. Thefunny thing is, I don’t really remember my mom beingaround much. But like I’ve said before, I was happy, so thistoo seemed unimportant.

That all changed on a cold, snowy April morning in 1979.My dad left to go to work, just like every other morning, buthe never made it out of the driveway. My dad died thatmorning of a massive coronary. I was the one that foundhim, and I was home alone.

I cannot begin to describe to you what it feels like to be10 years old and dealing with that kind of grief alone. I wasscared to talk to anyone, because I felt guilty. I felt like Ishould have done something to save his life. I used to playthat over and over in my mind. What if I had gone outsideearlier? What if I had run inside and called someone insteadof standing out in the snow screaming? I graduallyconvinced myself that his dying was my fault. And nobodytold me differently. So I kept to myself, and suffered insilence.

In the weeks following his death, I often looked throughboxes of old pictures. Seeing the pictures of my dad kepthim alive in my mind. I was scared that if I didn’t do this, Iwould forget what he looked like. And then it happenedagain. The bottom fell out of my world for the second time inas many months. In the bottom of one of the boxes, amongthe old photos, were two hospital wrist bands. One for ababy, and one for an adult. I read the names over and over,trying to make sense of what I was reading. And then it hit

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me: the woman I had always known as my sister wasactually my mother. And so this too, I kept to myself.

My teenage years were pure hell. I was a bitter, resentfulhuman being by the time I was 12, and it got worse everyyear. My mom could not understand for the life of her why Ihad such serious emotional problems. She couldn’tunderstand how a young girl who had every materialpossession she could every need or want could be so angry.Her solution to every problem was to buy something to “fix”me. But she would never have a conversation with me. Shewould never answer my questions. Still to this very day,when I bring things up, she screams at me and tells me to“forget it.” It was long ago, and she cannot understand whyI insist on “dragging the past around like a dog with an oldbone.” And so my questions will never be answered.

I finally decided that I would cause her as much pain asshe had caused me. Her one source of pride in me was thatI was a great in school. I was a straight A student, and wason the honor roll all through middle school, and the firstsemester of my freshman year of high school. In our hometown, this was always in the newspaper, and she would justbeam with pride at my accomplishments. So I quit school inthe middle of my freshman year. I simply refused to goback. This is not something I am proud of by any means,but at the time it served its purpose.

I continued on a destructive path for a few years afterthat, but realized that at some point I stopped causing herpain, and was truly damaging myself. That was not myplan. So I did what I needed to do, and got back on the righttrack. At least as much as I could at that time. Myeducation had been wasted, so I got a job doingconstruction work. I was a welder’s helper, and builtnatural gas satellites for Amoco. It wasn’t my dream job, butthe pay was great, and I did have a son I needed to support.Public assistance was out of the question as far as I wasconcerned. I got myself into that mess, and would pay to getmyself out of it. And so I did.

And then one day my life changed forever. I met the manI would one day marry. I didn’t believe in love at first sight,

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and still don’t, but I believe that was the case with us. Icouldn’t explain it if I tried, but I just knew from themoment that we met that this was meant to be. Could it befate? I don’t know, but I know that I have been happier inthe last 18 years than I could ever have imagined possible.

It took a long time for me to work through all of myfeelings, and let go of all of my anger and pain, but with hishelp, I have done just that. I have even made peace with myfamily, which is the one thing I had thought I would neverbe able to do. His constant love and encouragement hasshown me that I can be more, be a better person, andforgive. He is the reason I am in this class, the reason I amwriting this story. And I want to do this. I want to succeed,for even though my husband and son are so proud of me, Iwould like to think that my dad is looking down on me, andI want to make him proud too.

MY LIFE WITH MOTHER BY MICHAEL CARTER

Presently, I am a miserable soldier in the United StatesArmy. I am over three thousand miles away from my wife.My family disowned me before I came here. I am constantlybutting heads with my supervisors. I have no friends. I alsoseem to have lost my faith in religion to top it all off. Howdid I get to be like this? Would I have chosen to be in theArmy if I knew that it would be like this? I think I ended uphere mostly because of my mother, but I will tell you thestory of my life so that you can decide for yourself.

I started out my life in Mobile, Alabama. I was born inthe Mobile Infirmary – the cheapest and nastiest hospital inMobile. I was an unplanned birth. When my mother tried toget help from my biological father, he threatened to have metaken away from her. My existence was a problem for him.He was married and having an affair with my mother. Incase you have not figured it out, my mother was not whatyou would call a good person. She was what you would call

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a loose person. In fact, it took me years to find out whichguy it was that was my biological father.

Growing up without a father was difficult, but not as badas growing up with my mother. I have gathered from myfamily, that during my first few years of life I was never withmy mother. She was always pawning me off on differentpeople and disappearing for months at a time. When I waswith her, we lived in garbage holes barely fit for thehabitation of roaches and rats, which were in abundance. Itwas so bad that I grew up with a pet roach instead of a dog.She always had a guy over, but I never saw the same guytwice.

The only good memories I have from my early years areabout my Grandparents. They seem to be the ones whoalways ended up with me the most. My Grandma still callsme son when she talks to me, because she practically raisedme. I also had a second mother. I call her that because shewas like a mother to me. She was my grandmother’s bestfriend. When I lived with my mother, my second motheralways looked after us and took care of me. I never stayed inthe same school more than a year. I never bothered makingfriends, because I would lose them in a month or two.

When I was eight years old, my mother did marrysomeone. He seemed nice – the first day. It turned out thathe was a very bad person. My mother stayed married to himfor a week. He was a constant drunkard and beat mymother. My mother married him because he was a gooddrinking partner. I hated him from the start.

When I was twelve years old, things did take a turn forthe better. My mother started dating a decent person. Whenshe became pregnant with my sister, he did the right thingand married her. He did not love her, but he did take care ofus. He took us to live in Mississippi. His home was a fishingcamp overlooking the Pascagoula River. It was a one-bedroom shack on poles, but it was like a palace to me. Itwas the cleanest place I had ever lived in. He actuallyadopted me and made me his son. He was a good father tome. I still call him dad. He sent me to a good school. The

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only good thing my mother ever did was stay with him. Hetreated her right. He provided stability in my life.

Unfortunately, by this time I had trouble making friends.I spent most of my time playing by myself and exploring theriver. I eventually made a few friends. After my second sisterwas born, my father bought a huge house on twenty acresof land. I thought the fish camp was a palace; this place wasunbelievable. I lived in the house until I moved away. Mymother liked the house so much that eventually it becameher world. She rarely let me go to anyone else’s house, butthey could come to our house. She was obsessed withkeeping me home and making me work in her yard. Sheturned into a real slave driver. My friends would not comeover because they were scared that they would be forcedinto the slave camp.

The one friend brave enough to come over to my houseeventually led me to Christianity. I talked to my fatherabout it, and he started taking us to church. We went tochurch on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and twice on Sunday.Unfortunately, my mother had to ruin that, too. Since Iactually enjoyed going to church, she held it over my headevery time I did anything. She would not let me go to churchif I did anything she disapproved of, or did not work wellenough. It became another way of punishing me. Therefore,I began to not want to go to church because I did not wanther using it against me.

When I was in my freshman year of High school, I metthe love of my life. She was a beautiful girl named Erin. Erinwas a junior in high school. Although we were friends atfirst, we soon became boyfriend and girlfriend. My motherhated my girlfriend. I guess that my mother was jealousthat Erin was getting so much of my attention. Therefore,my mother started to say ugly things about Erin. She usedErin as another form of punishment. If I did anything shedid not like, she would not let me talk or see Erin. Erin putup with my mother, and stuck with me. This only made mymother hate her more. Although my mother hated her, sheeventually realized that Erin was here to stay. My motherthen tried to make Erin part of her world. She wanted Erin

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at her house constantly. Mother even started telling her howhorrible Erin’s parents were.

After high school, I joined the Army to get away from mymother. I also joined the Army so that I could marry mysweet Erin. Joining the Army was the only way for Erin andme to escape my mother. After being in the Army for threemonths, I came home and married Erin. My mother tried toprevent us. She tried to make our first days of marriagemiserable. She constantly tried to cause problems for us.Therefore, finally we moved away to Fort Stewart. We livedthere for a year. It was the happiest time of my life. The onlydamage mother could do was on the phone. We wereenjoying ourselves until the Army decided that I needed togo to Korea.

That leaves me where I am today. The only good thingabout Korea is that it is over three thousand miles awayfrom my mother. In four months, I will be reuniting with mywife. We will be able to continue living together inhappiness. My wife was the only cure for my childhood withmother. My mother still tries to cause problems, but I havemy wife to help me deal with them.

MY LIFE – HOOD LIFE TO NAVY LIFE BY JOEL

JONES

I understand that you would like to know about my life.Why? Why would you want to know about me? You’re nevergoing to get to know me. You may never even meet or seeme again. But, you are interested in knowing about my life;oh well, I guess I will enlighten you a little, on some thingsin my life.

Where would you like for me to start? I could start with– I was born on March 17, 1975 in Chicago in Cook CountyHospital. Nah, that’s too common. Everybody probablystarts out with that. I’ll just skip all the early childhood

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stuff and give you the meat and potatoes of my life up tothis point.

I’m the oldest of 15 children – myself, 12 girls, and 2boys. Yes, you can say that my momma must have been abusy lady. That is a lot of kids. If you think about it, youcan make a football team, basketball team, hockey team,and a military squad formation. Wow, that’s a big family!Before you go too far reading, allow me to share someinformation with you: two of my sisters are on my father’sside, while the rest are all by my mother. Yeah, I have a bigfamily; I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Twelve women thatadore you and two brothers that look up to you; I thankGod for them all.

With that many siblings, you know what comes next –nephews and nieces. Man, I have a couple of baskets full ofeach. It seems that after every deployment, there is anotheraddition to the family. Good Lord – I just can’t keep up anymore! The last time I checked, I had nine nephews andnieces. Now I think there are about eleven. But I’m reallynot sure. I guess that’s just what southern folk do – havechildren – lots of them! I love all my nephews and nieceswith all my heart. When I come home after a long absence,they always run to me and jump on me and tell me howmuch they miss me. The young ones ask me for a dollar; theolder ones ask for five dollars. They seem to have gotten tooold to be asking for a single dollar. With $300 for a planeticket home, $150 for a car rental, $2.75 for unleaded fuelto put in the car, the feeling I get when my nephews andnieces stampede me when I arrive home is that I will soonbe penniless.

I’m definitely a family man. I guess you can see why: I’mfrom a big family, so I want a big family. So, I guess I shouldget that family started some day. I’m still young; I’ve gotplenty of time – I hope. I don’t know when the time will beright for me to start this family, but it shouldn’t be too long.I’ll find myself a nice young girl between the ages of 20 and26 years old. Yeah – that should buy me enough time to getthe right-sized family that I need. With the Lord’s blessing,I’ll get just what I ask for; I’ll have 6 to 8 healthy children. Ilove the sound of that.

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Now that you know a bit of my family history, I’ll sharesome of my personal history. Being the oldest child of mymom’s 13 kids was one hell of a challenge in itself, not tomention having to grow up fast in order to help my momprovide for her children. My young life was filled withchanging diapers and bottles, feeding and clothing, rockingmy siblings to sleep and getting burped on – yuck. I dislikedthat so much; with clean clothes on, what does the baby doafter you burp them – vomit all over you. Oh well, gochange. Next time, wear a towel over your shoulder. That’swhat my mom would say.

I used to stay up late nights with my sisters. I tell you,between boys and girls, girls are the most difficult to put tosleep. I did this with six of my sisters. Year after year I hadto do this; night after night I had to put my sisters to sleep.It got to the point where some of them couldn’t go to sleepunless the lights were on. Even till this day, when they visitme, I still have to leave the lights on in order for them to goto sleep. I smile to myself every time I think about it. Doingall of that care taking for my siblings really helped my mom;she really appreciated it. She told me that often, the older Igot.

Regarding my younger brother Greg, he is next in line tome, and about a year and a half younger than I. Growing upfor us was tough. Not only were we the oldest boys, but Iwas responsible for everything he did. If he brokesomething, I got blamed; if his clothes were not ironed, I gotblamed for it; if his hair was not combed properly, I gotblamed for it. Can you see where I’m going with this? Hewas that I’ll-get-you-in-trouble magnet. But till this day, Ilove him to death. He is my best friend. I trust no other likeI trust him.

Growing up in Chicago was very rough for me. I saw toomuch crazy stuff as a kid. The things I witnessed, no kidshould have been allowed to be around. I witnessedmurders and shootings at the age of nine. I saw peopleshoot up heroin and snort cocaine before I was even twelveyears old. My mom was doing all she could to keep us out ofthe environment. At the age of nine, there were four or fiveof us; my mom kept us all in one room with two beds. She

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made it a point to keep us upstairs, away from what hercousins were doing.

I liked Chicago. I enjoyed seeing the crazy things thatwere going on outside in the hood. Every day you would seepimps in their rides; they were listening to Isley Brothers,James Brown, or Earth, Wind, and Fire. I always thoughtthey were cool. These were some fast-taking, smoothtalking, dressed down playas. I used to say to myself when Igrow up I want to have a ride just like that. The gangstershung out at my Aunt’s house quite a bit. It was obviouswhy. My uncles and cousins were Black Gangster Disciples(BGD) A.K.A. Folks. They were members of the biggest gangon the south side of Chicago. They were tough and hard-core. I once witnessed them pistol-whip a guy so bad, hepassed out; I don’t remember him waking up. I didn’t stayaround for him to wake up; my uncle got back in the car,and we drove away. He would always say to me: “Don’t tellyour momma what you saw today, boy. You hear me?” Iwould respond “Yes, sir,” and he would give my brother andme five dollars.

His name was Donald; everybody called him Boone. Idon’t know why; they just called him that. He was mymomma’s younger brother; he was the second of ninechildren behind my momma. He was one of the biggestheroine pushers on the Southside. Money – he had it; power– he had it; respect – he got a lot of it. I looked up to himbecause he made me laugh, and he always talked to me.

He would always tell me “You better take care of yourmomma, my big sister, boy.” Then he would always tell methat he would like to see my momma get us out of Chicago.He felt we would have a better chance of growing up andmaking something with our lives if we left the City and wentdown south. A few weeks after that talk, my uncle got shottwice; our house got shot up. I was scared; I thought wewere going to die. My uncle survived, but he was out forrevenge. The word got out that the girl he was with set himup. My uncle and his soldiers retaliated. I wasn’t there forthe outcome of that one. Soon after the drive-by shooting onour house, my mom was fed up, and she got us out ofChicago. I never saw my uncle much after that. A year later

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I heard he was busted for drug trafficking and sentenced to15 years in prison.

I had never traveled before, so the trip to our new homein Arkansas was exciting for all of us. We took the train. I’veridden the trains before, but only in the inner city. Wecalled the train the L. I still can’t remember what thatmeans. Oh well, we were now on a journey to a destinationthat would be home for the rest of my childhood life. Thelong journey on the train was such a sightseeing event formy younger siblings and me. We saw cows and open fieldsof nothing but grass. I will never forget that train ride.Honestly, we slept the whole ride once we got settled down.Hey, it was my first Amtrak Train ride, plus I was just achild.

Upon arrival in Arkansas, my Aunt Martha met us atthe train station. She was a pretty woman, with lightskinned complexion, long hair, and a beautiful smile. Shemade me feel so welcome. She had a nice southern drawl asshe spoke. I thought it sounded so different and funny; Ialready loved that southern hospitality. She drove us to myBig Momma’s house. That’s where we stayed until my momcould find her own place. It was dark when we got there;what was in store for me was just a sunrise away. The nextmorning I woke up to the smell of food that I had neversmelled in my life. I immediately hunched over and spokesoftly. She said to me “Good morning, baby. You must bethe oldest boy.” Honestly, I think she already knew who Iwas. She told me her name was Big Momma. My mommaused to tell me about her and that one day we were going togo stay with Big Momma. Now, I was able to put a face withthe name. Oh yeah, that breakfast was the best breakfast Iever had.

Now I grew up and was living in Arkansas. This was acountry state, with dirt roads and barefoot walking people.Those days have definitely changed over the years. Beforelong, I was a teenager, and it seems I carried some of myChicago city life with me to the Arkansas country.

You see, I was getting myself into a little trouble. Mymom thought it would be a good idea for me to go back to

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Chicago for the summer, and so did I ! I went back, where Igot myself initiated into the Black Gangster Disciples(BGD’s). Thus, I became a young gangster. I thought it wasthe coolest thing in the world. I felt tough. I had my boysbacking me on anything.

The initiation was very hard; I got jumped on. This wasthe most difficult part of the initiation. This was the processwhere six of the people who were already in the gangjumped you. They fought you for sixty seconds, but itseemed that it lasted an eternity. Needless to say, I made itthrough. I had a few cuts, scrapes, and bruises. This part ofthe initiation was to show your boys that you had heart andcould go the distance when it came down to fighting withthem. The harder you fought back, the tougher you looked.They knew you were not a punk, coward, or sissy, that youlooked and acted tough. That’s how you earned your respectwith the gangsters as a kid – fighting back hard.

The next part of the initiation was to go and steal a car.I was always curious as to how to snatch a ride. You had todo this after any initiation. This was to show that you weredown for whatever you boys were down with. No matter theactivity, you were down for whatever.

So, I was a gangster now. My uncles and cousinswelcomed me into their family of criminals, thugs and drugsdealers; needless to say, I welcomed this. I felt it was a riteof passage. I was still in Chicago; I had just turned thirteenand I had been initiated into the BGDs. Now I was a part ofthe Brothers Of the Struggle (a.k.a. BOS). I was a juniorBOS. This was cool to me. Everyone knew you were in theFolks because of the way you wore your hat. BGD’s woretheir ball caps with the brim banged to the right. Thisdistinguished you from those who were not down. This alsowas advertisement to our rival gangs: Vice Lords, 4 CornerHustlers, and Black Peace Stones. Now I was a legitimatetarget to them. They were now my enemies and I theirs.

Soon after my initiation was completed, my cousinsgave me work. They knew I was going to have to prove tothem that I could hustle. My cousin Cliff gave me about 2eight balls (approx. $500 in crack) to get myself started. I

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had to prove that I could handle the groceries. This is whathe would call his drugs.

So now I am a gangsta, I’ve stolen a car, and I’m takingmy first little bit of crack. I was excited and nervous at thesame time. I had heard many stories about people workingfor my cousins getting robbed or killed while selling crack.To add to this, my cousin asked me to bring him back $250.So, I proceeded to sell some crack to some of the otheryoung gangsters, and some of the older Folks helped me tomake a few sells. This was done to get my face out there –advertisement, you can say.

I’m so glad my momma wasn’t around to see any ofthis. I know she would have had a fit if she knew what I wasdoing. But she wasn’t around, and I was making money.That day, my first day selling crack was a good one. I think Imade about $700. I can’t remember the exact amount, butit was way more than $500. I was excited! Now I startedthinking I’m the man. I left the block to go take my cousinhis money. He told me that I did a good job. He fronted mesome dope several more times after that; after a while, I wasable to buy from him and make my own money. That feltgood. It was like having my own business. I was a CEO anddidn’t even know it.

The more I hung out on the block, the more people sawme, the more things happened and the more chances to dieincreased. There was a serious gang war brewing up. One ofour Chiefs in the gang had been shot. Retaliation was amust. We were all packing. My cousin gave me a snub nose.38 special; I never carried a weapon before. I was nervousand really not sure what to do with it. He said “If you seeone of them hooks around here, you blast that fool.” I said“OK” with an unsure look on my face. Was I really going toshoot someone? I really didn’t know. I guess I was going tohave to find that out myself.

It really didn’t really take long to find out. That samenight while hustling on 74th St., the Vice-lords did a drive-by shooting. I was scared as hell. I had been in one before,but not right outside. I was in the house, upstairs andprotected by my momma. This time it was just the air in

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between the bullets and me. Folks were runningeverywhere. I hid behind a car. I was breathing hard; I hada gun in my hands, and I was scared to fire it. I knew that ifI didn’t shoot, I would be marked as a coward. The Vice-lords were still firing at us. I was still hiding behind the car.I could hear my other Folks firing back. Without sticking myhead over the car, I decided to fire my gun.

Firing that gun wasn’t bad at all; I fired it again, andagain, and again, making no real attempt to shoot anyone. Iwas scared; I didn’t want to get shot. By this time, all Iwanted was to go home and be with my momma and mybrothers and sister. This gunfight seemed to have lastedforever. It really lasted about two minutes at the most.That’s an eternity when your life is at stake. Needless to saythat night was the last time I would have to defend myselfand my fellow gangsters’. I got a hands-on demonstration ofreality. I was ready to go home. The gang life was not what Ireally wanted, at least not the shooting and killing part of it.

During my teenage years I caused a lot of trouble for mymomma and myself. I really didn’t have that male guidancethat I wanted so much. After serving jail time on numerousoccasions during my high school years, I finally wised up. Iwanted to make my momma proud; I wanted to make myyounger siblings proud to call me their big brother.

On May 29th 1995, I decided to enlist in the U.S. Navy.That was my way out of self destruction. I needed the Navyto give me guidance, leadership, and mentorship. I havereceived all of that and continue to receive more. I havebeen in the Navy almost 11 years now, and I thank God forevery day that he has given me in the Navy. When I wake upin the mornings now, it’s not to the sound of gunfire orpolice kicking in my door; I wake up to the sounds of doubletime-march.

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MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER BY CAROLINE DANIELS

Some people are blessed to grow up in a household withtwo parents. However, for most of my life, I had no ideawhat that felt like. Don’t get me wrong, I was blessed, and Istill am. I just didn’t have a home like that.

My mother left my father when I was about nine yearsold. It was a good choice considering the way my fathertreated her. When it was time to go, my mother looked ather four children and asked who wanted to go with her. Allfour of us wanted to be with my mother. When we told herthis, I saw worry in her eyes. My father had not let herfinish college so she had no degree. She had not worked inmany years, and there was no guarantee that she would beable to get a job that would support her and her fourchildren.

She started working as a county clerk and moved us intoan apartment with two bedrooms and one bathroom. It wasall she could afford. She didn’t want to be near my father,but she also couldn’t bear the thought of making herchildren change schools, so the apartment was one streetaway from my father’s house. Child support was an option,but my mother really didn’t want to go through the hassle.She knew my father wouldn’t want to give her any moneyfor us.

Time went by and the five of us were getting used to ournew life. It was hard, especially at first. The apartment wassmall, and it didn’t fit five people living there very well.Tension would be high; arguments and fights occurredoften. With three daughters and one son, life becameinteresting at times. Having an apartment that small full ofa bunch of females was almost dangerous. But, I guess wesurvived.

Though life wasn’t easy and my siblings and I all had topull our weight to get by, we still did ok. My mother was thestrength through everything. She loved her children morethan anything in the world, and although we lived frompaycheck to paycheck, she still managed to spoil us. Itwasn’t the kind of spoiling that comes from wealthy parents,

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but it was the little things that made us feel good. Shewould buy us any extras she could afford. I remember ushaving more shoes than any one person would need, andshe would buy us another pair even when she had holes inher own socks. My mother has always been like that –selfless.

As my sisters and I reached the legal working age, wequickly acquired part-time jobs to help with the moneysituation. It felt so good to keep busy like that. All three ofus were working and going to school. It made me proud tobe able to help with expenses. It felt good to work and knowI was accomplishing something. I wasn’t working selfishlyeither. I think it meant more because I wasn’t a normalteenager, just working to have money for myself. It wasn’tabout that. It was about survival; it was about taking careof home; it was about our family.

If there is one thing that has been a basis for the type ofperson I am today, it would be my mother’s love. Herstrength, devotion, love, and support shaped me into thewoman I have become. My heart is full of love because sheput it there. She gave me the tools I needed to be a goodperson. She showed me what it means to work forsomething and to appreciate your blessings. The life sheprovided was tough. There were some hard times, but thelove outweighed the pain and hardship. Her love outweighedeverything. If only I could become half the woman mymother is, that would be the blessing of all blessings.

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LIFE IS A BOX OF CHOCOLATES BY JUSTIN BROCK

When I was two years old, my father left my mother and

me. There is not much to tell about because I don’t know

much. When I was six I was forced to live with my aunt and

uncle. I couldn’t live with my mother because she was more

into drugs than taking care of my younger sister and

brother and myself. My life as a child was not as pleasant

as the life you sometimes see on TV and the movies where

the family lives in a nice house in a nice suburban

neighborhood with a white picket fence and a golden

retriever running freely while the blissful boy chases it. I

had to face the realities of life at the young age of five; I

didn’t have the luxury of wondering where rainbows came

from.

It was hard for me to accept that my mother was doing

bad things, and I wouldn’t be able to see her again. It took

me a long time, and this is the story of how I came to terms

with that. When I went to go live with my aunt and uncle, I

was in a better environment. Just because I was away from

my mother, the person that caused me the most pain in my

life, doesn’t mean I was happy. I don’t know exactly how

many consecutive days I would sit alone and daydream

that my mother would come to my aunt and uncle’s house,

knock on the door and ask for me, and I would come

running, jumping into her arms, and she would hold me

tight against her chest. That’s what I yearned for, every day

all day. I didn’t want candy; I didn’t want Christmas

presents; I didn’t want money. All I wanted was to be with

my mommy again. Time seemed to stand still as my heart

was filled with agony. The countless hours, days, and

months I spent praying that my mother would come and

take me in her arms, I thought my life would end. I wanted

my life to end; I thought death would be easier than living.

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What I am about to mention is something I have never

told a single soul. It was the day that would change my life.

I was lying under my bed in the darkness – alone – as I had

been for months now. It was months since the day my

mother said I would be going to uncle Michael’s house to

live until she got better, and then she would come and pick

me up to take me home. Through all my weeps and sobs I

heard a voice. I will never forget this cold, dark voice. The

voice told me that I could end the pain for good. The voice

told me there would be no more pain. The voice told me to

reach above my head and grab the telephone wire that was

attached to the telephone jack and wrap it around my neck

and pull with all my strength on the end that was not

attached to the wall. As the voice was telling me this, I was

doing it. When I was laying in the dark, under my bed

pulling with all my strength on the cord, my mind became

clear. It seemed as if I was flying through space and my

body and mind seemed to separate. I woke up with the cord

around my neck and tears and snot dried on my face. The

lack of blood to my brain caused me to black out, but I was

still alive.

I don’t know what had changed in me, but as I crawled

out from under the darkness of my bed, I felt like a

different person. It was as if I had an epiphany. I realized I

wanted to live. I wanted to live happily, and I wouldn’t

spend another day or minute or second feeling sorry for

myself. I was going to change my life; I was going to take

control. I realized that all I needed was myself. I could take

care of myself, and, if I was disappointed in life, it was

because I failed myself, not anyone else. I took control of

my life that day, and ever since then, I have been a

survivor.

As a child, I was not happy. Now there is not a day that

goes by that I am not happy to be alive. There is rarely a

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day that goes by when I feel sad. I make my life happy by

focusing on the positive and eliminating the negative. You

will hardly see me in a sad mood. Life is too short to live it

feeling blue. Through my childhood experiences, I will

never waste another day feeling sorry for myself or

something I cannot control. I have control of my life now

and I love being alive.

MY SIMPLE BUT UNIQUE LIFE BY GRISELDA

PEREZ

I was born in Puerto Rico on September 16, 1984. It’sfunny how I came about, cheating is the word I’m lookingfor. I was brought to this world because my mother cheatedon her husband. She already had three children with herhusband – Hector, Alex, and Jimmy – who are my olderbrothers. My mother took a vacation to Puerto Rico, and shecould not resist the cute Puerto Rican young guy that washitting on her at the bar. So a one night stand did not seembad to her. She stayed there once she found out she waspregnant, but later found out that he was up to no good soshe decided to come back to the U.S. Her husband took herback, and they lived happily in Los Angeles, CA. Californiawhich became my home. The happiness did not last for toolong; soon she found herself alone as a single mother of 5.My sister Sandy was born.

We lived in Los Angeles until my brothers were oldenough to find drugs, gangs, and trouble. By this time momknew it was time to move away, so we came to Ontario. Thecity of Ontario then became my home. Even though she hadlittle money, she put me and my sister in private school.

I determined I was going to make it easier for my mom,so I decided to get us kicked out of private school. In fourthgrade, it occurred to me that I had never seen a urinal, so Ithought a little sprint into the boys’ restroom would beinteresting. Oh, I tell you that it really did bug all the littleboys in the restroom. And as if sneaking a peak at the

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urinals was not enough, I kicked a boy in his private partsbecause he tried to kiss me. He deserved it. So this actionbrought me to the public schools. The money spent, angryteachers, the boys crying – all stopped. I continued going toschool, but now to a public school, hoping I would neverreach high school. And my mother was still suffering, justmaking enough to support 5 kids on her own.

That moment came of course, the moment I will neverforget, when I entered the world where looks wereeverything. I was never a good looking girl. I had braces,pigeon-toed feet, and my hair was nappy. I never had highquality clothes, considering mom had just enough money tofeed and clothe all of us. I never complained. I was happywith the person that I was and that was all that mattered.

I had a rough time the first couple of years, with theteasing that broke me to pieces, the struggles of mom tryingto feed us all, and no father there to give us some supportas a father-like figure. My brothers were into drugs, mymother always working, and my sister and I at home doingthe entire housework. But then all of a sudden, it was likeGod shined a light on us. My brothers got married, and wewere all doing fine.

However, all the troubles in my tiny life were juststarting.

My senior year came around. I was working part-time soI could help out my mother. I still kept up my grades for mymother; she was very proud of me when I crossed the stageat graduation. None of my brothers had ever crossed thestage before. Her eyes were full of tears of happiness. Thewords that came out of her mouth when she embraced mewill always stay with me. She told me, “You are my prideand joy, thank you for staying strong through everythingthat we have gone through and continue to succeed.” I knewthen that I could never do anything that would disappointher. So I decided to do something with my life.

I met a boy in school that drove me crazy, made me feelgooey, and made me nervous. But he broke my heart when Idid not want to give him what was precious to me. However,the heartbreak not only made me stronger, but led me to

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take a serious decision in life. I was tired of going to school,so I decided the military was perfect for me at that time. Thesame look that I had seen on my mother’s face when Istepped across the stage at my high school graduation wasthe same look she gave me when I told her about joining thearmy. She was so proud of me. ‘Till this day she brags aboutme; she brags about how brave I am, and how independentI have become.

All these struggles, tears and laughter, and memorablemoments have made me the person that I am today. Mymother has always told me that I am one of the mostimportant people in her life. I have made my mother proud,but I think that she has made me who I am, and despite allof the hard times, I have learned to be a great person. Allthese series of events have made me the person that I amtoday – Griselda Perez.

MY MOM AND MY LIFE BY TIM FRENCH

I was always the baby. I was born last in the family, theyoungest of three sons. As last in life, I received clothinghand me-downs last, last portions of select-chicken piecesat mom’s chicken dinner feasts, and last on the familyhugs-n-kisses. I was always last, but first at getting intotrouble. I got into more trouble in my 17 years at home thanboth of my older brothers put together. It was not toodifficult: you needed a broad imagination and never toaccept no for an answer.

My mother says that I was pretty much a “brat,” andpeople did not have to look up the word in the dictionary,they just had to watch me! Despite the fact that I drove mymother crazy, she was always there for me. This brings meto my next topic.

When asked to identify the person who has had the mostpowerful influence in my life, the most obvious choice is mymom. She has been my teacher, counselor, role model, andfriend for the past 39 years. For me, she has been a source

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of inspiration and a constant reminder of what true lovereally means.

In considering my mother’s position and influence as arole model, I am reminded of a quote from CharlotteBronte’s Villette (Chap.4): “In addition she gave me theoriginality of her character to study: the steadiness of hervirtues…the power of her passions to admire, the truth ofher feelings to trust. All these things she had, and for thesethings I clung to her.” The virtues that stand out mostpoignantly in my mother’s character are her dedication andself-sacrifice. On the strength of her principles, she workedtwo jobs and sent me to summer school, in order to give methe strongest educational foundation possible. No obstacleseemed insurmountable when it came to our education.When my algebra classes seemed to have gotten the betterof her, she searched high and low, until she found a capabletutor.

She is passionate about what she believes, yet hasreached an amiable balance of enthusiasm and reserve. Inher, there lies the essence of good character with herhonesty and generosity. If there is something to be done forthe community or the church, there is rarely a flinch ofhesitation before she adds it to a seemingly never-ending to-do list.

One of the most important roles that my mom played inmy life is that of teacher and counselor. Unlike mostteenagers in the 70s, my mom was always in very closeproximity to my educational environment. Although thismay seem downright unpleasant to some, my experiencehas been a truly remarkable one. My mom has not onlybeen my academic cheerleading section, but also a teacherof “Life 101”. I have been given a lasting and confidentknowledge of myself as a person, and a moral code thatserves as a firm basis to judge implications of actions. Shehas instilled in me love of people as a whole and has givenme advice in an unthinkable amount and variety ofsituations.

The kind of relationship that takes most people years toattain with their mothers is one that I have cherished. The

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depth of our understanding of each other could only havebeen developed through patience, persistence, andsometimes a leather belt or hickory stick applied to the“seat of understanding.” Though we have had our share ofdisagreements, her decisions have never been presented ina “because I said so” manner: rather, however unpopularthe decision is, it is always presented with clear,understandable reasons. She has taught me to realize thatshe is far from perfect, yet together we may live life morefully in the knowledge that we are helping each other tobecome better people, through the constructive criticism offriendship.

Thus, it is clear that the individual who has been thesingle highest degree of influence on me is my mother. In aworld where teens consider their parents just anotherauthority to rebel against, I realize that I could never bewhere I am today had it not been for the sacrifice andmotivation of my mother. I will always respect the influencethat she has had on my life, and will endeavor to take allthat she has taught me, as the inspiration to be all that Ican be, in the pursuit of my dreams.

Having learned these valuable lessons from my mother, Iwas compelled to join the military. I wanted someadventure, some motivation, some camaraderie, sometesting in my life. The Army fit the bill, though my motherreplied, “You’re crazy.”

My goal was simple: survive for twenty years in theArmy, and retire. Well, almost twenty years later, here I am.I have survived – and so has my mother – to see the endresult. I set a goal for myself – to join and stay in the Army,and I have accomplished that goal. In my eyes, and mostimportant, my mother’s eyes, I have succeeded. I am awinner!

But wait, I cannot just stop there. I have set other goalsfor myself: an Associate Degree from Central Texas College,a Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Maryland, aMaster’s Degree from Troy State University, and my life afterthe Army. Throw in getting married along the way, andhaving some children, and the mix of life thickens.

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You see, I got all of this from my mother. She took thetime for me, and I cannot imagine anything that happenedto me in life, without going back to the lessons she taughtme. My goals are an extension of her goals, for me and mylife. She has passed on a legacy of sheer determination,guts, will power, and fortitude. My achievements in life andher legacy to me are so intertwined, it is impossible toseparate the two. Thus, perhaps you can understand insome measure how deeply I am grateful to my mother forwhat she has given me.

WHO AM I? BY ALEXIA NICOLE MONTAGNE

My name is Alexia Nicole Montagne, and I was born inAbbeville, Louisiana, on April 28, 1982. I am the middlechild of three children; my mother and father had us at avery young age. I have two brothers, one older and oneyounger, and we are very close. I don’t have much memoryof my parents together growing up because my mothermoved to Georgia, and my father was never around. Myfather worked offshore drilling oil, and my brothers and Ilived with our grandparents until the age of 10. My fatherwas in and out of my life; he never really came aroundmuch. My mother and step-father would come and visit usduring holidays and special occasions. Soon, my motherand step-father would take me and my brothers to live withthem in Georgia.

My brothers and I loved living in Georgia; it was like adream come true. See, my grandparents didn’t have muchmoney, and they were simple people, and they lived in thecountry. So, when we moved to the big city of Dalton,Georgia – which wasn’t big at all – we thought we were rich.However, in all reality, my parents were as middle class asthey come, but they always provided us with whatever weneeded. We were all very happy.

I spent most of my middle school and high school yearsplaying softball and being a normal female teenager. I wastrying to find myself; well, what I thought was myself. Mymom was very giving and kind, but she was very strict on

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me too. So, needless to say, I had no boyfriends growing up,and dating was out of the question. It’s understandablethough, since I was the only girl, and my family was, andstill is, very protective of me.

In my junior year of high school I met a guy that Ithought the world of at that time. Dating him was out of thequestion, but I did it anyway. After a few months of datinghim, I received some bad news. Yep, that’s right, I waspregnant. My parents were outraged, hurt, and confused.And my feelings were spinning out of control. What was Igoing to do with a child, at the age of 18, was the only thingthat I could think about? I had no idea. The guy I waspregnant by was going nowhere fast and taking me withhim.

Out of rage, my mom threw me out of the house, and Ihad no choice, but to move in with the father of my unbornchild. After a few months, my mother got over her anger,and asked me to move back in; however, I couldn’t justmove back in with her, because my pride wouldn’t allow me.So, I continued to live with him, in complete misery (thanksto my pride) until the day that I gave birth to the mostwonderful gift God could have given me: my daughter.

After having my daughter, I knew her life was in myhands, and even though I made a mistake having her at ayoung age, I had to make sure her life was as perfect andstable as I could make it. It was all about my daughter now.I moved back in with my parents, and started working.When my daughter turned two, I went back to school for myG.E.D, and then I went to college for a degree in criminaljustice.

It was very hard for me to work, go to school, and be asingle mother. Plus, the daughter’s father gave all his rightsover her to me, and he was out of her life forever. It was upto me to raise this child. Thank God for my parents,because without my parents, I would not have made it veryfar.

Soon my school grant was cancelled – educationcutbacks – and bills were piling up. I was headed straightfor a dead-end. My mother and older brother talked to me

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about joining the military; my brother was currently in theU.S. Air Force, and things were going well for him. Aftertalking with the Army recruiter, I knew this was something Ihad to do for not only myself, but for my daughter. Our lifewould have a bright future after all.

After my military training, I was given orders to Korea. Ihave been in Korea for two years now, and it has been aself-developing experience. I feel blessed to have theopportunity to do what I am doing, something most peoplewould never do. The Army has changed me for the better. Ilove what I have become, and where I am going. My choiceto join the Army was a blessed choice, because I am a betterperson and a better parent for making this choice. I lovewhat I do – being a soldier – yet I can always hardly wait toreturn to my first job of being a mother.

My life hasn’t been all peaches and cream, but whoselife has? I can say with every fall, God has always lifted mehigher than before. I love my life and everything andeveryone in it. You live. You learn. You grow.

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FINAL EXAM COMPOSITIONS

In the Final Examination, students are given 2.5 hours towrite an essay on one of 5 possible subjects. They are notrequired to use, notate, and footnote any specified SentenceForms.

The aim of the examination is simply to see how effectivelyand gracefully they can write in a specified, reasonableperiod of time. The five subjects given to the students forthe final examination were chosen from the following list:Music, Family, Vacations, Work, Hobbies, Animals, Friends,Memories, Clothes, Movies, Travel, Entertainment, Food,Seasons, Holidays, Life Lessons, and Sports. The subjectswere chosen because of their general familiarity to mostpeople and therefore the ease with which students couldwrite about them.

What follows are some examples of final examinationswritten by former students.

THE JOY, CHALLENGE, DISCIPLINE, AND

ACHIEVEMENT OF BEING ON A SWIM TEAM

BY SHANA DYMECK

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always loved to swim.My grandparents have a pool – an indoor pool – where Iswim every day. My family calls me Aqualungs because Ican stay under water for a long time. My mom throws coinsin the deep end; I dive down to get them, and I don’t comeup until I have all of them. Nobody in my family can stayunder water for long, whereas I can stay under water for aminute and a half.

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I remember when I was in the ninth grade, and therewas an announcement for the swim team sign-ups. I wasso fat, so inexperienced, so out-of-shape, that I really didnot want to join. I decided to go anyway, so I could see whoelse wanted to join. I went to the meeting; I stayed for halfan hour, but nobody I knew showed up. I left and walkedback to my homeroom. Disappointed that none of myfriends signed up, I sat at my desk and stared at the brickwall. I went home that day and called my friend Amy. Iasked her why she wasn’t at the meeting. She told me,because she was joining the diving team, she didn’t need tobe there. That made me feel a lot better. Then I called myfriend Erica and asked her why she had not joined, andshe told me it was because she had signed up the daybefore. Upon hearing this, I was really motivated.

The first day of practice was just the initial getting toknow my teammates. The next day, we were in the pool,swimming laps. The first day of practice killed me. I think Iswam more that night than I did my whole life. As the daysturned into weeks and weeks to months, I could see achange in my strokes and breathing techniques. I beganswimming faster and more accurately. My flip turnsbecame easier, and I could do them in less time. I wasreally improving.

By the time our first meet rolled around, I felt I wasready to do my best. My coach put me in the 100ydbackstroke. I was so nervous. I entered the pool; I heardthe scorekeeper telling us to take our marks; I heard thehorn, and I was off. All I remember is that I was talking tomyself through the stroke: “kick, kick, kick, kick.” As soonas I saw the flags, I counted “1, 2, 3, 4, flip.” By this time Ihad only a few more laps to go. My heart was pumping; myadrenaline was racing. I could see my teammates cheeringme on, “GO, GO, GO!”

I knew I was close to finishing. I saw the flags andcounted to 5 as I took each stroke. Finally, I finished; I feltthe time pad and knew I did well. I looked up at thescoreboard and saw that I had come in second. A femalefrom the opposite team had finished one-tenth of a secondbefore I did. That didn’t bother me though; it was my first

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race. Many more meets came, and I improved more andmore.

By the time the swimming season was over, I hadimproved my time by 26 seconds. I was really proud ofmyself, and others appreciated what I had accomplished.We had a banquet, and my coach presented me with themost improved swimmer award. It made me feel so good. Iknew I had accomplished something great.

Now, every time I get a chance to swim, I don’t hesitateto go. It always brings back memories of my swim teamexperiences. Swimming – what a fun sport!

MEMORIES AT THE CORNER OF MY MIND by Rico

Mendiola

Paul Livingston awoke in the middle of the humidsummer night. He reached out across the bed; it was socold, so empty, so lonely. It had been eight long months ofgrief and sorrow since Donna’s murder; they had beenmarried for six months. The pain came back to him again.His heart seemed to sink deeper inside his chest. Paulcouldn’t breathe. A loud, dreadful moan erupted from hislungs. He felt a little better. As hot, pain-filled tearsstreamed down his face, Paul thought about the memories –the memories of the day he first saw Donna’s angelic face,the memories of the day his heart had been ripped from hischest when “his angel” was taken away from him.

Paul reminisced about the day his heart was stolen. Itwas a sunny afternoon in early June. Paul was driving hisnew 1997 Honda Civic; he was going to meet Charlotte, awoman he had been seeing for a few weeks; he was going tobreak up with her. He was cruising down 23rd Street. Then,he saw on the street a woman wearing a summer dresswhich accented her curvy and slender figure. Her face wasso clear, so flawless, so perfect. Their eyes met; she smiled.Paul was so captivated by her beauty that he almost didn’tsee the car in front of him stopping at a traffic light. He

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looked back; she was still smiling and laughing at hisclumsiness.

Paul made an immediate U-turn, being careful not to hitany other cars and looking for any policemen who mightwitness his misconduct. Paul pulled up next to the beautythat had captured his heart, as well as his sanity. On herflawless face, she had a look of surprise and disbelief, whichquickly changed into a smile as Paul rolled down thewindow of the passenger side of the car.

“You are so crazy,” she said, her beautiful smile still onher face.

Paul got out of his car. “What is your name?” he asked.

“Donna. Donna Baker. And yours?”

“Paul Livingstone. Donna . . . that is a beautiful name.”

There was a momentary pause. “Donna”, the song byRichie Valens, was echoing in Paul’s mind; it brought asmile to his face.

“Would you like to take a walk?”

They walked and talked for hours. They had so much incommon. They decided to have lunch together. Four monthslater they were married.

Paul’s thoughts joined his body back in his lonelybedroom. It had been a year and a half since he met Donna,and now she was gone. As the tears started to fall again, heremembered the day Donna was killed.

It was March 24, 1998. Paul and Donna had beenmarried for five months and three weeks. They were havingtheir first argument that night. The argument started whenPaul decided that he was going to go out drinking with hisfriends. Donna protested.

“We haven’t spent any quality time together all week!Let’s stay in tonight,” she screamed.

“We spend all of our time together! I just want to spendsome time with my friends for once,” Paul screamed back.“Why do you have to be so controlling?”

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They argued for an hour. Feeling frustrated and trapped,Paul stormed out of the apartment. He thought of meetinghis friends, but he knew he wouldn’t have much funanyway. Paul sat at the diner for an hour, drinking coffeeand cooling down. When he was settled, Paul paid thewaitress and headed home. He realized he was wrong, andhe was going to apologize to her when he got back.

As Paul turned the corner, he immediately saw policecars and an ambulance in front of his building. The flashinglights danced all around the crowds of people who came tosee what all the fuss was about.

Paul ran upstairs to the apartment. He arrived just intime to see them carrying out a stretcher with a black bodybag on it. They were coming out of his apartment! He ran upto the bag and unzipped the bag despite the police officers’and paramedics’ efforts to stop him. Inside the bag, Paulcould see Donna’s mangled body. Paul screamed in terror.

The detective calmed Paul down, told him whathappened, and questioned him. Someone had broken in,attacked Donna, and brutally murdered her. Paul held hishead in his hands and cried. He felt responsible. He couldhave prevented this.

Paul cried every day since that awful night. The guilt andgrief haunted him. All he had left of Donna was thememories.

CHILDHOOD VACATIONS by Karl Hendrickson

Everyone needs a vacation now and then. A vacationdoesn’t have to be located in some far off exotic place. It canbe taken in your own way, with just a few minutes of peaceand quiet. For me, a vacation has changed over the years inmy life. My summers were all the same growing up. Themembers of my family at the time would always fit a “FamilyVacation” into their busy schedules. Nowadays, a nice napis the only vacation that I have to look forward to having.

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In the days before my birth, my parents would take my

brothers to a close-by amusement park for a day or so – this

was their vacation. Now this all changed once I was born

and my family decided to take the “Vacation” idea and turn

it up a notch, not up too much, but just enough to keep

everyone happy. That idea lasted only ten years.

I can still recall all my five senses enjoying those Monday

mornings, when we would drive off for a week or two of fun.

We all woke up at the same time – very early. Not as early as

a fisherman, yet earlier than kids waking up on Christmas

morning.

I can still see our old 1983 Dodge station wagon sitting

in the driveway, sparkling from the mid-summer morning’s

dew. She was filled to the brim with luggage, games, food,

candy, and of course only half a tank of gas. Getting into

the car was always a treat, for we knew that we would be on

vacation soon.

We all piled into the car, my mom and dad in the front,

and my brother and I in the back, with candy and games to

keep us company. However, when we hit the road, there was

always something that my mom remembered that she had

forgotten: some small item, like film for the camera, sun

block, or, most of the time, money. After she was finally

ready to go again, my dad would make one (only one) stop,

before we were gone for good. That one stop was the gas

station, because he never had a full tank.

Driving down the road was my favorite part of those

trips. While most kids between the ages of 1 and 10 hate

riding in cars, mainly because they are impatient and want

to get there as fast as they possibly can, I enjoyed every

second of it – the sound of the highway, beeping horns as

well as people cussing at one another, and with the wind

producing a slightly annoying whistle sound. I loved

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watching the sun rising over the straight path of highway

and then quickly becoming hidden behind one of those big

green highway signs.

Even the smell of a dead deer carcass lying on the side of

the road was a grand experience.

My dad and I would always point out a new state license

plate when one drove by. I do believe we saw them all, even

Hawaii and Alaska. No matter how long we drove – mostly a

6 hour drive to Wisconsin, or my favorite, a whopping 336

hours driving out west, visiting all the wonders of the

American Frontier – we always found something to entertain

us.

Those days now are as gone as Harrison Ford’s movie

career. These days, I can feel small fragments of those mid-

summer vacations. It’s usually the sound or smell coming

off a highway. Someday, I hope to experience each and every

moment of those childhood vacations again, but this time as

an adult with me as the driver. As for now, I will have to

enjoy my few hours of sleep a night, which I call my

“Personal Vacation” from the stress of daily living.

MUSIC BY MATT ORMITA

Music is man’s highest art form, perhaps men’s highest

achievement, and what is so amazing is that it is not

tangible. Music fills the world with color, beauty, emotion.

Inspiration, sadness, anger – all these and more can be

generated just by listening to one minute of sound. It’s so

fascinating.

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What I find so magnificent about music is that it can

take you into a time warp. Driving to school one day, I

turned on the radio and Groove Theory was playing. All of a

sudden there were all of these memories from freshmen

year. I could remember my friends – some were still my

friends and some no longer – dancing around in the

lunchroom and singing the exact tune that was playing in

my car at that moment. Dozens of memories come back to

me within a minute’s time, and I had my own little video

yearbook playing in my mind. I sat in my car, watching it

play back, and I laughed, screamed, and cried all at the

same time.

I love older music: there was just more happiness and

hope to it. In today’s music, there just seems to be anger

and more anger. Our society today is based on negativity.

This has spawned off more furious styles of music: rap, rip-

hop, grunge rock. Look at our generation, we reflect our

music perfectly. We have no direction, no guidance, no

inner confidence. We commend kids that swear at their

elders and steal from honest workers; however, we laugh at

kids who help an old lady across the street. Society needs a

change, and perhaps it should start with the music. What

happened to the good old ‘60s when hippies smoked pot and

sang songs of love and peace and harmony? There’s one

thing that generation had that our generation lacks – hope.

There’s no longer a hope for change or for something better.

There is just a realization of what is.

This is just my own personal opinion: when the arts go

down, so too will the quality of life. And again, in my own

personal opinion, the music has collapsed in quality. It all

sounds the same: there are no different textures, there are

no really different styles, there is no real beauty. The longer

our generation lets the destruction continue, the more life

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will remain stagnant. So let’s bring it back to what it was all

about in the beginning – beauty, color, emotion.

BUILDING CHARACTER THROUGH WORK

BY RITA CHUNG

It was a Friday evening, and my mom had the sudden

craving for a quart of Baskin Robbin’s Jamoca Almond

Fudge ice cream. Of course, I volunteered to pick some up

for her. As I reached the Baskin Robbin’s front door, I

noticed a sign posted on the glass window. The one thing

that I was looking for had finally appeared right in front of

my eyes. That sign contained the words that I had been

hoping to read since the beginning of my senior year: “Now

Hiring!”

I had never had a job before; at least, not a genuine job

that paid the minimum wage. I lacked experience, and I

never had the experience of taking orders from someone

who was neither my parents nor a school administrator.

This was, indeed, a challenge and a change. However, I was

prepared for anything that might to be thrown my way. I

bought the quart of Jamoca Almond Fudge and asked the

cashier about the hiring sign. He informed me that the

interviews were going to be Saturday afternoon and to come

any time between the hours of 2-4 p.m. I thanked him, left

the store, and anxiously waited for the next day to arrive.

As I entered Baskin Robbin’s again the next day, I was

confident, poised, and ready for anything. I was told to sit

down and wait patiently for the manager to arrive. While

doing that, I noticed a room full of people replicating the

same actions as myself. Apparently, they were my

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competition. Was I afraid of competition? No. Was I

intimidated by the competition? Yes, somewhat.

I was the first person to be interviewed by the manager.

She was blunt and straightforward. I answered all her

questions as honestly as possible; I became more

intimidated by her than the competition. Surprisingly, the

interview only lasted about 15 minutes, though it felt more

like an eternity with infinity added on. Without hesitation,

she hired me and shook my hand with approval. I was

astonished.

During subsequent times at the store, when I was

scooping rock hard ice cream, producing numerous

sundaes, and making overly priced shakes and smoothies, I

had many encounters with the nearby community. Indeed, I

learned how to deal with obnoxious customers, annoying

children and their even more annoying parents, and the

daily deeds of being a cashier, a janitor, and a convincing

sales person, who always encouraged customers to

“upgrade” their scoop of ice cream for a dollar more. It was

marvelous. I loved my job with a passion, and I soon got the

chance to feel that exhilarating sense of obtaining a hard

earned paycheck as well as having Uncle Sam’s greedy

hands swiping half of it for state taxes. Oh, what a joy it

was, indubitably. Eventually, after I graduated from high

school, and summer was coming to an end, I had to leave

behind Baskin Robbin’s and the wonderful people there. I

had a new job to tend to: The United States Navy.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into as I stepped

off the plane at Great Lakes, Illinois. As I went through

basic training, I was constantly told by my division officer

that enduring boot camp was the easiest job I could

undertake; after all, I was provided with three meals a day,

a bed, urinating facilities, and an intense workout or two. I

even learned how to iron, starch, and fold my underwear

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properly. And for all of that, I was getting paid. My division

officer was correct; but at times, I must admit, even a hardy

paycheck couldn’t brighten the many somber days I

endured there.

Naturally, I passed basic training, went on to complete

“A” school in the Information Systems of Technology (IT)

field, and am now working as an IT in Korea.

The hours are long and unproductive at times; the job is

tedious, redundant, and boring as well. However, the

attributes that I acquired during my days at Baskin Robbins

helped me conquer any task that was given to me in the

Navy. I had already learned to tolerate those who ranked

above me and who had the ultimate effect on my paycheck.

I had already learned to appreciate and respect my

colleagues, and I had learned to separate work and play,

business and pleasure.

Having a job prior to the Navy taught me to be

understanding and think through rough situations and that

performing your job right will always get you through

anything. The things that I’ve learned from my first job as a

talented ice cream scooper, to my current job as an IT, can

never be taken away from me. I’ve earned my merits,

whether they are official or not, and I am grateful to have

gone through a variety of jobs that have impacted me one

way or another. Work allows you to grow, to interact with an

assortment of people, and it builds moral character that will

be instilled in you throughout your life.

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THE VACATION FROM HELL by Andre Council

It was the summer of 1992. I had just graduated from

high school, and it was time to party. We decided to take a

long overdue vacation to Nags Head, NC. I had never been

there before, but my friends assured me it would be the

time of my life – they didn’t lie about that one.

We packed our bags, filled the cooler, and journeyed off

to North Carolina. The trip was so full of chaos and

craziness, full of drinking, and flirting with women. We

rented a minivan, and two hours into the ride we heard a

rumbling noise coming from the tire. It was unbelievable.

Before we could even get halfway there, we were fixing a flat

tire. The job normally takes about 10-15 minutes to

complete, but because we were so drunk, it must have

taken us 45 minutes.

The tire was fixed, and we were on our way (still drinking

of course). Jeff, who was driving, was not drinking; you see

he was the type of person who behaved inebriated even

when he was sober. All of sudden we heard sirens; the

police were behind us because we were going well above the

posted speed limit.

As we pulled over, we hurriedly put all the alcohol out of

sight. The officer pulled up and asked if Jeff knew how fast

he had been going. Jeff’s response was a big mistake: he

told the officer he didn’t know and didn’t care. (His exact

words being “Dude I don’t give a f*#$$.”) The police officer

immediately ordered Jeff out of the van and read him his

rights. And then his partner also ordered all of us out of the

van. “But sir we are going to Nags Head for a week’s

vacation,” I pleaded. But now the search was on and he was

sure to find the alcohol. We were all under age and under a

lot of pressure at this point. We were told that we had no

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choice but to come down to the station and face our

charges.

The charges were drinking under age, having an open

container of alcohol in a vehicle, and Jeff’s reckless driving

charge. We had no choice but to call our parents, face the

charges brought against us, miss our vacation, and spend a

week in jail.

Needless to say, we were pretty upset at the fact that our

vacation was history, that we were in jail in the middle of

nowhere, and that there was no way we were ever going to

be able to get to Nags Head. So there we were – looking like

idiots – all because of immaturity.

WINTER BY ROSEMARIE CICCARIELLO

One cool, windy morning I stand staring out the

window, sadness filling my body. What were once many

mornings filled with warmth and liveliness, no longer exist.

Gazing sorrowfully at the dull, no longer vibrant leaves that

were earlier so full of life and beauty, a tear runs down my

cheek – another season is ending, and another season

beginning.

It’s the season of death – winter. Winter makes its way in

slowly and silently – killing everything in its path. Flowers

that were once fully blossomed and once full of life perish

one by one. Animals begin to disappear, hiding and

burrowing away from the coming harsh winter. Nothing

exists outside any longer; winter brings an emptiness.

People also burrow away inside their homes, sipping hot

cocoa and sitting around the fireplace warming themselves

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and keeping warm from the torment that awaits them if

they step one foot outside.

White, sparking snowflakes begin to fall, covering the

dead grass. Children leap with joy at the sight of the falling

snowflakes. They anticipate this every year. For only three

weeks, they’re in heaven. However, parents groan with

anguish at the sight of falling snowflakes: their next three

weeks will be spent shoveling tons and tons of snow off their

driveways. They’re in hell.

As the days and weeks go by, Christmas makes its way

to the center of attention, with colorful lights shimmering

outside on every home. Millions of Christmas trees are

bought and fully decorated with cute, dazzling ornaments.

Christmas music blares from every store to every home.

Children, once again, are jumping with joy. They’ve been

anticipating Christmas morning all year.

Finally, early one morning the snow begins to melt. A

feeling of sadness fills my body yet again – another season

ending and another season beginning.

FAMILY AND MOM BY JILL FRIEND

My family is the most important thing in my life; without

them, I am nothing. There are many important people in my

family, and I am close to them all. There in one person

however, that I want to single out, and talk about today –

my mother. Even though she is no longer with me

physically, she is always in my thoughts and my prayers.

My mom was born on December 4, 1953; she died on

September 29, 2000. My mom played many roles: mother,

daughter, sister, aunt, wife, and grandmother; she was

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great at them all. She led a hard life; when people have such

a life, others often believe that the person was poor or

unhappy. She was neither of those, nor was she

uneducated. My mom was happy, loving, middle-class, and

smart, but she always thought of everyone else first, before

herself. She was the person that would give you the shirt off

her back, and you could always count on her for a good

laugh.

My mother died a terrible and painful, sad and confusing

death. It all started when she was misdiagnosed as a

teenager; she said that she had pancreatitis. By the end of

her painful life, she was diagnosed with diabetes, liver

problems, congestive heart failure, pulmonary edemas,

sleep disorder, and severe edema of the legs. She finally

died of a heart attack. She had many major surgeries,

weekly doctor appointments, and trouble walking and

breathing. She took over 20 medications a day, including

insulin injections; half of those medications were for pain

and depression. She took morphine every day. It is so

amazing that she rarely displayed how much pain she was

in. Sometimes I would catch her crying, and it made me

sad. She always put on make-up until the last day.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I lived in Fort Sill,

Oklahoma, and she lived in Michigan; we spoke on the

phone on the 28th of September; we talked and laughed

and joked about everything; it was great. The last thing that

I said to her was, “I love you, and I will call you tomorrow.”

But that conversation never happened.

The next thing that happened – my world fell apart.

I remember very little of the next few days: the phone call

from my dad, the plane home, the funeral, and finally, the

lonely trip home. It felt as though I had no feelings anymore,

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just pain – it was like a 4016 bench press1 on my chest, like

a heart attack.

I am not mad at my mom for wanting to die. I can’t even

begin to imagine 30 years of constant pain – every day. I do

miss her though, with all of my heart. She was my mom, the

one that made all of my boo-hoos better, and she made me

chicken noodle soup when I was sick. The pain does get

better with time, but no one will ever be able to replace her.

So I just think about her, pray for her to watch over me,

and visit her when I am home. I love her – she’s my mom.

MUSIC OF MY HEART BY KRISTIE NOBLE

Music has taught me how to love myself with honor and

respect. Before I learned how to read notes or a music

sheet, I did not understand my heart very well. I knew I had

to do something about this missing piece in my life;

however, I could not bring myself to acknowledge that I

wanted to play music. I would listen to my friends give

performances, and my heart would be moved because I

could feel the harmony in each note of music. I felt

somehow I could find peace in music – peace of mind, peace

and love.

I was introduced to music by a friend – Sarah Potter.

Sarah played in the school band; she performed with

perfection and love and peace. When she played her

instrument, the music that came out of her horn sounded

1 Ed.Note: (from http://tr.im/BvpU) “Magnum Body Motion Series 4016 Bench Press is a

product of the latest technology out in the market today. The patented technology of the

Magnum Body Motion Series creates the same feeling as a using a weight stack or plate

loaded machine, but unlike the weight stack or plate machine, resistance comes from the

user’s own body weight, so exercise is smooth, silent, and friction free. The amount of

resistance produced by this unit is proportional to nearly half of a user’s total body weight.”

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like music coming from God. In my mind, I knew I wanted

to play music to show the world what joy music brings to

the heart.

Playing my flute for three years, I have learned to have

faith in my abilities. This faith gave me the strength to join

the marching band my freshman year in high school. The

instructor, once a professional musician, was a caring and

loving person. Since he had a great passion for music, he

wanted everyone to share his sincere commitment to music.

He taught me so much about what it really means to play

music from the heart. The standard positions, the slurs, the

groove – those were the things he showed me, so I could

play from my heart. As music became comforting and

familiar to me, so too my understanding of myself started to

become clear.

After he taught me the basics, he showed me how to

walk and play at the same time. I was so proud of myself

when I finally mastered this technique. I will never forget

the moment I played with perfection. I know I found my

spirit in my music.

The day came when my school was going to participate

in a regional competition. I thought I was ready to show off

my stuff to everyone. As I walked onto the field, I felt an

overwhelming fear on the field. With a little help from my

friends, however, I defeated my fears and played with my

heart and soul. I knew by the end of the march I did my

best; hence, I felt I reached a little heaven on earth.

Music can change you and give you special experiences.

Music brings one definitive reality into your life: the feeling

of peace. The experiences in my life have changed me

forever while the music in my life transformed my heart. If

you have never found music in your life, I strongly suggest

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you learn how to play an instrument. Music opens up the

opportunity to heal yourself through your soul and mind.

MY LONG TIME DREAM VACATION BY

TRUCQUYNH HUA

Do you like to go on vacation? Where do you want to go?Well, since I am stationed in Korea, I want to visit Vietnam,China, and Japan this summer. I will take a one monthvacation to go to Vietnam; in fact, I will go to Vietnam thisFriday on flight number VN9711. There are two reasons Iwant to take my vacation in Vietnam instead of China now:to visit my relatives and for sightseeing.

This is my first trip back to Vietnam since I left elevenyears ago. I can’t wait to see all my immediate cousins andfriends; however, I wonder if they will even recognize me or Irecognize them since I left Vietnam. I was just a little girlwith short hair and no eyeglasses, but now I am a younglady with long hair and wear eyeglasses. When I think aboutthis, I feel both excited and nervous. I feel excited because Iwill see and talk to them in person; I will not just see themin the pictures or talk to them over the phone. On the otherhand, I feel nervous because I don’t know how they willtreat me – as a family member or as a stranger. Hopefully,they will welcome me and give me the love that they gave tothe little girl I was eleven years ago.

The second reason I want to go back to Vietnam is forsightseeing. I want to travel all over Vietnam – my nativecountry – from the north to the south, from the west to theeast, from the capital to the smallest village. I will betraveling with my two aunts and cousin. The first stop of mytrip will be the capital of Vietnam, Hanoi. I will go shoppingon 34th Street which is famous for silk, pottery, andhandicrafts. I will visit the Deceasing Sword Lake – Ho HoanKiem – and the One Pillar Pagoda. I will take a boat alongthe Perfume River to the Perfume Pagoda. Perfume Pagodais one of the famous pagodas in Vietnam and the onlymeans to get to it is by boat. I will also visit the mostfamous sightseeing in northern Vietnam – Ha Long Bay.

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From there, I will go to mid-Vietnam to visit Hue, once thecapital of Vietnam. Here, I can go visit the oldest literatureschool of Vietnam and eat the famous food called Bun BoHue (spicy beef noodle soup). You have to eat this foodwhen you go to Vietnam. After that, I will go down to Mui Nebeach, then Saigon, then to different small cities along theMekong River. Finally, I will stop at my hometown,Soctrang. I will stay there until the end of my vacation.

Going back to Vietnam is one of my long time dreamvacations. I will not only visit the country, but I will alsohave a chance to see my relatives whom I miss very much. Ihope I will have a chance to visit Vietnam every year likethis year. This vacation will be the most meaningful one ofmy life.

SKYDIVING BY HEE GON YANG

Let me tell you what it feels like to fly: to soar through theair like the birds. In my opinion, there is no other feeling like itin the world. I don’t know why I am attracted to it, but it drawsme toward it. You see I got hooked on skydiving a few yearsago when my friends introduced me to the sport. Theanticipation of the freefall grips you like a vice. I think I lovethe sport because it defies the law of gravity; it breaks everylaw of nature. The anxious moments waiting for the flight intospace, the rapid acceleration of the freefall, and the knowledgethat I am defying nature are what make it so exciting.

It all starts in a classroom where the basics of skydiving aretaught. The instructor teaches – in detail – every aspect of theart of freefall. The importance of safety and timing as well as ofthe form and style of the freefall are heavily stressed. This onlyadds to the excitement. After the classroom instructions, youmust attempt a few dry runs on ground. Dry runs allow you toget familiar with the equipment and identify mistakes beforeyou attempt the real thing.

I don’t think any amount of instructions prepare anyone forthe real thing: like learning to fly an airplane strictly in asimulator. The whirl of the propeller, the smell of jet fuel, theroar of planes taking off signifies it is time to do the real thing.The air rushing through the open plane only adds to the

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anticipation of actually freefalling. Once the plane reaches theproper altitude, the jumpmaster signals for everyone to startjumping. Once you debark, the instant adrenaline rush hitsyou like a brick. Once terminal velocity is reached, it feels likeyou are suspended in air; it must be what birds are feeling.The feeling lasts but seconds. If only briefly, I get to soar withthe birds.

OUR FAMILY TRIP TO FLORIDA BY MELISSA

HATFIELD

Family vacations at my house always started out at twoo’clock in the morning as all six of us filed into our familyvan. Our father always went over his list for the trip andchecked for the following items: food, luggage, money, fourkids and one wife. After this, all was accounted for, and wewere ready to go. This time we headed out for Orlando,Florida, and since we lived in Virginia Beach at the time,you can imagine easily what a long trip it was.

It took us an entire day just to get there, with my littlebrother Danny asking our mother if we were there yettwenty million times. My mother would respond suggestingthat we play a fun car game. This is when Danny learnedthat he should just be quiet. I would have rather sat insilence or listened to my CD player. My other little brotherAndrew was only two, so he couldn’t play, but my sisterLara would, and even though my dad was driving, he knewbetter than to say no. After countless hours of hearing themplay I-spy, find-that-license-plate, and the memory game,we finally arrived at our vacation spot.

The first task to complete was to get all of our stuff intothe hotel room. Not only did we all bring about six pieces ofluggage each, but our hotel room was always on the topfloor. After this chore, my sibling and I would be full ofenergy and ready to go and do something fun, but ourparents would be too tired from the long drive. All theywould want to do was sleep.

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When the next day came, our vacation began. My motherwoke us all up at six in the morning, so that we wouldn’tmiss the free hotel breakfast (that always seemed to end ateight o’clock) after which we would start our day. Every daywas always something different: a new amusement park, anew sightseeing place, or a new tourist attraction.

After two complete weeks of this, we would all be left sotired, so exhausted, so ready to go home, we would actuallytake the long trip back home feeling that we needed anadditional vacation to recover from our family vacation.

WHY TAKE UP BICYCLING AGAIN? BY GERELD

MALEC

You probably enjoyed yours when you were a kid. Yourbicycle was cool: you had the longest banana seat and thefattest tires on the block. Your bicycle was a cool ride; it gotyou everywhere and anywhere you needed to go.

But as time moved on, you bought a more advancedmodel of bicycle before resorting to motorized modes oftransport. But instead of selling it, you remained attachedto your bike. You took it everywhere you moved, you heldonto if faithfully; you gave it a special place in your housethat turned out to be the garage or attic. In the back of yourmind, you thought about riding it again; however, more timepassed as your bicycle gathered more dust and rust.

But don’t give up hope. Just give me a few minutes ofyour time now to explain why you should get motivated toblow the dust off, and oil the rust off your bike chain.Riding your bike again will not only save money, but willyield long lasting health benefits.

First, let’s focus on what is in the forefront of your mind– Finances. Number one, your bike costs virtually nothing toride. Some oil for your rusty chain, a little elbow grease toget the dust off, a few dollars to have an expert check it over– these are the only things you will need to get your bikeback on the road. Sure, maybe you can’t totally live without

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the car, so you have to keep paying insurance. But payattention to the law of averages. When you bike more, youdrive less, and you have less out of pocket expenses.

The bicycle doesn’t require gasoline to make it go. It’spowered by your human energy. And with skyrocketingprices for a gallon of gas, isn’t it about time you gaveyourself a break? The bicycle also doesn’t require certainmaintenance expenses – motor oil, transmission fluid, drivebelts – required to make a car run. Oil changes andautomobile maintenance can cost an arm and a leg. Thebicycle has far fewer parts that will cause you to worryabout it breaking down.

And probably the most important benefit is improvedhealth and physical fitness. Medical studies prove that witha just little bit of regular exercise per week, you canincrease your health two-fold.

Bicycling gives you that outlet to exercise, and relievesstress. Just riding a few miles per week keeps you trim,healthy, and increases your energy level. And with so muchto do in today’s world, isn’t it good to have a little more ofthat? Moreover, the best thing is, you don’t have to be agreat athlete to do this.

So, if you find yourself looking at your dusty bike in thegarage or closet, and want to make a change for the better,than why not take up Biking again? Leave your car keys onthe table just one day this week and bike to work instead.You’ll save yourself money and get just a bit closer to thatbody that you always dream about having.

A BIG, UNIQUE, AND LOYAL FAMILY BY GRISELDA

PEREZ

Many repeat the adage: you can’t live with them, but you

also can’t live without them. Family comes in all different

shapes and forms. But out of every family in the whole

world, my family is the best one out there. We have small

and huge, skinny and fat family members, but we love them

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all the same. Despite all of our differences, we are all like

sticky rice: we stick together. The Garcia family, no doubt

about it, is a weird but exceptional family. Let me tell you

why my family is the best in the world.

We are a huge family. Our family consists of about 60-70

members. We are all different and unique, but in one way or

another we bond together because of the blood that runs

through our veins. All of us have something unique that we

share with one another, that makes us stick together. Let

me tell you about a couple of people and events that make

my family the best.

We are Hispanic. Our main dishes are Mexican food. A

lot of people say that love starts in the kitchen. Well, we

have some great cooks in my family. Tia Sandra cooks her

famous “carnitas”; Tia Merry cooks her infamous “arroz con

leche”; and my mother – Adelina – cooks her favorite dishes:

posole, tamales, and birria. My aunts and mother know how

to win someone over – by cooking. They bring our family

together with their cooking, no matter how angry we are

with each other. This is one of the reasons why we are a

great family.

Another reason we are the best family ever is because we

are always there for each other no matter what. When

abuelita [little grandma] died, we all cried, and helped each

other get through the pain. We all were brave and held each

other’s hand, when the world seemed to fall down on us. We

were there for each other through thick and thin; we never

complained about helping out another member.

But my family is also weird in a unique way. The Garcia

family is known to be happier than normal. I guess that the

happiness runs through our veins. When we get drunk, we

cry, laugh, dance, and enjoy ourselves in many other wys.

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From miles away, you can tell who is part of the Garcia

family by their zest for life.

No matter what happens in this world, I will never

exchange my family for anything in the world. My family is

weird and unique; it is not perfect, but it is exceptional, and

in my opinion and affections, the best one in the world.

THE SECOND CHILD BY DEVINE DAVIS

I always believed once you have a second child, youcould never love him as much as your first, yet I was wrong– in a way. I remember it as if it was yesterday, traveling toSaarbrucken, Germany, where he was born, to meet himand his foster parent. I was told his short history. He hadtwo siblings who were already taken away: Rech andSchiuchtern, when translated to English, meant pretty andshy. Meanwhile, his own birth name was Gewalttatig, whichmeant rowdy. That should have been warning enough formy husband and I, yet when I saw his beautiful, big, browneyes, it was love at first sight, and we told his foster mother“yes”, we would take him. The next big step was the tripback to the United States.

“King William” – his new name – was plastered all overhis shot records, birth certificate, and any other importantdocuments that were needed in order to make his first tripto his new home in the United States as smooth as possible.As the months passed, my baby was not only rowdy, butalso very active! He crawled all over the place andsometimes even ignored me when I called his name to come;instead, he crawled to strangers begging to be picked up.Whenever we all took family walks together, everyonealways stopped to compliment King, for he and his sisteralways wore matching outfits. Although my daughter wasyoung at the time, she never showed an ounce of jealousytowards him; instead, she always referred to him as herlittle “budder”. Time passed, and their relationship onlygrew stronger.

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Every year he grew older, but he always looked the same– same hair, same eyes, same size. I am so familiar with thestares I receive: in restaurants, video stores, and evenrestrooms! I am aware that King doesn’t look like the rest ofhis family. But photographers, when they took pictures ofour family, were so stunned with the way the family looked,they regularly asked my daughter “Where did you get yourlittle brother from?”, and she proudly replied “Germany!”The noisy photographers smiled and continued on withtheir task. My family members have become accustomed tothe stares, questions, and whispers; they only make usstronger and more confident.

My daughter is now 5½, and to this day she rememberswhen we brought King into our family; regardless of hisappearance and his nature, she loved him like a big sistershould. Every June 23rd we celebrate King’s birthday, andthis past June, even though I was here in Korea, myhusband and daughter made sure they had his cake readywith candles – his age in human years. And even though heis a dog, he loves to wear his birthday hat and lick the icingoff the cake. He acts like a typical 7 year old (in humanterms) – like a boy to me!

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The Remaining Forms of the Essay –

Classically Rhetorical and Contemporary

So far in the book, we have provided professionalexamples of classical rhetorical essays for studentsto emulate in writing their own essays. We havecovered only 4 of the 9 rhetorical forms – theexpository, the narrative, the descriptive, and thecomparative forms – while not addressing theremaining 5 forms, namely the definitive, thepersuasive, the argumentative, the cause-and-effect, and the process forms.

Instructors may desire their students to practice theremaining forms, but the constraints of time andspace do not permit us to do that here. However,many excellent anthologies of professional examplesof all the 9 forms are available. Instructors can findthe examples, give them to students, and then askthe students to write their own essays. The best ofthe essays can then be collected and used asstudent models for subsequent classes of students.

However, this book has addressed itself primarilyto the mastery of the personal essay bystudents, because the personal essay is thefoundation and cornerstone of all successfulwriting of other forms of the essay.

Besides the 9 classical rhetorical forms discussedabove, there are 4 additional forms of the essay inaddition to the personal essay that are prevalent inmodern public prose. Below, we list those 5prevalent public forms of prose, as well as adding a6th form or category of the investigative news storyor report.

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Examples and Features of the

5 Prevalent Public Essay Types

The Personal Essay expresses an individual perspective on life in

a distinctive voice and style. When the Personal Essay is especially

excellent and memorable, it is aired on public radio and television,

reprinted in notable national newspapers and magazines, and

incorporated in collections of anthologies read by millions who can

never get enough of the Personal Essay because it is so perpetually

interesting, engaging, and frequently humorous or ironically insightful

about a wide array of ordinary matters.

The Popular Article concerns itself with topics like celebrities,

movie stars, sports heroes, and television personalities. The Popular

Article appears in magazines such as People, Reader’s Digest, Oprah

Magazine, Rolling Stone, in-flight magazines, and others or in

mainstream magazines like TIME and Newsweek when they wish to

seriously examine some notable aspect or development of popular

culture in terms of its wider effects on society as a whole.

The Formal Essay concerns itself with serious and urgent

questions of public concern such as environmental policy, foreign

affairs, breakthrough medical discoveries, or the types, causes,

characteristics, and consequences of wars in various parts of the globe.

Such essays appear in prominent and influential magazines such as

The Atlantic Monthly, National Geographic, Harper’s, Fortune, Foreign

Affairs, The Economist, Harvard Business Review, The New York Review

of Books, and other notable venues.

The Professional Article concerns itself with original

scholarship in the various disciplines of learning in the Humanities,

Social Sciences, Natural Sciences, and Business and Finance fields. The

Professional Article appears in academic journals such as The

American Historical Review, Nature, and important prestigious

scholarly reviews such as The American Scholar.

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The Critical Review concerns itself with the in-depth analysis and

interpretation of a literary work such as a poem, short story, essay,

drama, book, or a review of a musical production, entertainment event,

or movie. Such a review is likely to appear in literary journals and in

specialized sections of locally or nationally syndicated newspapers or

magazines, as seen in the New Yorker, the Atlantic Monthly, TIME,

Newsweek.

The Sixth or Investigative Report or Article has beenunderstood and practiced by innumerable people through the years.Investigative reporting follows the classical 5 question format of who,where, when, what, and how, but we should add a 6th why as well. Theprose is clear and direct, with a vital voice and vivid style. Newspaperreports and articles are usually written after graduation fromuniversities by professional writers who have developed the craft ofwriting adequately enough and have sufficient time to devote towriting under the demands of a tight time schedule. Of course, inschools, students practice writing investigative articles in their localhigh school, university, and social club newspapers and in-housenewsletters.

Generally, investigative newspaper reports or articles fall into 2categories. The first category consists of short articles narrating ordescribing events and issues of present concern to the community andpublic to whom the articles are addressed. The second categoryinvolves in-depth interviewing, investigating, and reporting ofimportant events, ideas, persons, and problems of pressing relevancefor society in general and for public policy. Often such articleseventually become influential books. Thus, the famous PentagonPapers about the war in Vietnam is one such example, or the brilliantand incomparable books by the journalist David Halberstram aboutthe automobile industry, the media and newspaper corporate giants,professional sports, and the Korean and Vietnam wars. In a similarvein, there are the books written by social critic Naomi Klein, theeconomist Paul Klugman, the 3-volume historian of the war in Iraq,Thomas E. Ricks, or the foreign policy expert and CNN commentatorFareed Zakaria.

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Two Academic Extended Essay Forms

Term or Research Paper

The Term or Research Paper is strictly academic and hasbeen required in high school and university classrooms fordecades. The Term or Research Paper was rather looselydefined for years, but has increasingly assumed a definiteform, structure, and format. It requires students toinvestigate a field, then conceive and formulate a clear thesisstatement, which is then developed and supported by clearlogical reasoning and adequate empirical facts, illustrations,and evidence.

The Term or Research Paper by definition has a ratherconfined and limited focus, but some papers can deal with amore extensive issue or problem, while others can have a stillmore general bearing and relevance. In fact, that is part ofthe perennial problem with the Term or Research Paper:teachers expect too much in the way of original thought andsupporting scholarly evidence for the limited time studentshave available to research and write the papers, whilestudents tend to narrowly restrict the topics they research tounimportant and silly issues of no serious value to anyone,including themselves. Moreover, teachers expect students ina Term or Research Paper to write polished and competentprose with considerable clarity and style; however, studentshave not been adequately instructed earlier to writecompetent prose with clarity and style, so they areoverburdened by the expectations placed by the teacher andtheir own sense of what the task requires. Everyone is oftenthoroughly disappointed – students and teachers alike, witheach side blaming the other.

The Term or Research Paper should not be given tostudents until they have been given a thoroughgrounding in writing personal essays and mastered as aconsequence the 11 Sentence Forms without which theycannot write with clarity and style. Once they havemastered a style with reasonable clarity and grace, they cantackle wholeheartedly and single-mindedly the requirementsfor serious investigation and original thought demanded by aTerm or Research Paper.

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Doctoral Dissertation

An additional form of literature that serves as a bridgebetween the essay and the book is the doctoraldissertation which possesses its own highly specifiedstructure and rules for composition and citation. Rather thangive all the details and guidelines here, we list below someexcellent guides for learning how to approach, conceive, plan,complete, and deliver a dissertation:

Destination Dissertation: A Traveler's Guide to a DoneDissertation by Sonja Foss and William Waters published byRowman & Littlefield Publishers;

The Portable Dissertation Advisor by Miles T. Bryant publishedby Corwin Press;

Blending Qualitative and Quantitative Research Methods inTheses and Dissertations by Robert Murray Thomas publishedby Corwin Press;

Writing the Winning Dissertation: A Step-by-Step Guide by AllanA. Glatthorn;

The Qualitative Dissertation: A Guide for Students and Facultyby Maria Piantanida and Noreen Garman

Because of its specialized focus and its requirements for raw

data, the doctoral thesis often explores topics from a highly

specialized academic viewpoint. Indeed, they are so

specialized that a citizen with a general level of literacy would

have a rough time reading such a paper. They are written

primarily for an academic of scholarly audience.

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Personal Essay is Just the Beginning

If we count the 9 classical rhetorical forms of theessay, and then add the 5 + 1 prevalent public forms,plus the 2 academic forms, we have a grand total of 17forms according to which the essay can be structuredand written.

We have stressed the Personal Essay as thefoundation for all the other essays, and as noted earlier,we have presented professional examples and profiledmodel student essays for the expository, narrative,descriptive, and comparative essay forms. Also above,we encouraged instructors to collect their ownprofessional examples and model student essays for theremaining 5 classical rhetorical forms.

Concerning the 5+1 Prevalent PublicContemporary Forms of the essay, we do not presentexamples here of the other forms beside the PersonalEssay, nor do we present examples of the 2 academicforms. It is not necessary for us to do so here because,as we have stated earlier, the Personal Essay is thebasis for all the others. However, the primary reasonwe do not need to present the other forms here is thatwe have created – with the 11 forms of the sentenceand the method for notating and footnoting them inessays – the essential means by which students canconstantly improve their writing by steadilyapplying the 11 forms and the method of notatingthem in all subsequent instances where they studyand write the remaining forms of the essay. Thisholds in every discipline of learning as well as acrossdisciplines of learning where they may need to writeessays or reports.

In general, we encourage instructors to have theirstudents research and write Popular Articles more

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often for two reasons: (1) the topics for popular articleswould be more generally appealing and accessible forstudents to research and write; and (2) the languagerequired for writing popular articles is more akin toexpressive writing than other forms of the essay and sowould be a natural way for students to expand andprogress in the forms they use.

Instructors might also consider assigning theFormal Essay as the capstone assignment for 3rd and4th year university students pursuing independenttopics of research across disciplines or composing anoriginal research essay on an important, cutting edgetopic in their field of study.

Finally, instructors might consider more oftenchoosing some especially gifted and competentstudents and encouraging them to each write either aProfessional Article or a Critical Review, giving themclass credit for the final product. Such a product couldbe entered into a Performance Portfolio which could beused by students to enhance their credentials forgraduate school or places of employment.

Of course, the Term or Research Paper is often theprimary focus of instruction in an increasing number ofwriting courses in college, sometimes as the secondcourse in a writing curriculum and sometimes as thecapstone course. There is a reason for the pervasiveemphasis on the Term or Research Paper since indeedit is simply the cumulative outcome of the traditionalapproach and emphasis to teaching writing: namely,that writing is primarily about independent thinking,analytical proficiency in discerning and systematicallyorganizing the component parts and pieces of an essay,and clear writing. It thus places a premium onrational thought, logical coherence, and consistencyin a linear mode, as well as dispassionate

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detachment from excessive emotion and culturalprejudices.

In other words, the Term or Research Paper isthe classical goal and mode of instruction in theFather Tongue. The ubiquitous 5-paragraph essay wasso often the standard introduction, but onlyintroduction, to this way of writing, where youcommence with an arresting or bold beginning, developthe substance of the content of the essay in the middle,and end with a resounding conclusion or suggestiveimplications.

Everyone should learn to write the Term orResearch Paper described above, so it is a thoroughlyadmirable assignment for college students oradvanced high school students. Unfortunately, itemphatically requires that students know how to thinkbefore they can write such clearly conceived andwritten essays. But students are not given anycourses in creative and critical thinking which theyshould have first before they are asked to writesuch papers.

And there is one major additional problem withthe traditional way that the Term or Research Paper istaught. At present, or only until very recently, nomodels for how to write such an essay wereavailable to students, other than the traditionalclassical rhetorical form of the argumentative essayor the cause-and-effect essay.

However, some notable breakthroughs have beenmade recently in discovering models or templates thatwill assist students to structure and organize theirthoughts around rhetorical strategies for marshallingarguments in dialectical debate with one another aswell as in conceiving and deploying convincingarguments that resolve whatever problem is beingexamined by an essay.

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The constraints of time and space in this book donot permit us to explore these recent developments tothe full extent they deserve. However, we present onthe next page a brief summary of some of the inventivestrategies and rhetorical means developed by theserecent theorists, and we identify the foremost authorsand books that instructors might want to explore atgreater length on their own.

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Models of Thought (Thinking Moves) Can

Assist the Thoroughly Researched and

Thoughtfully Focused Essay

To master the thoroughly researched and thoughtfully

focused essay – whether in academic writing, documentary

reports, or investigative journalism – requires considerable

skill that comes with much experience.

If a scientific journal article is a conversation that the author

has with contributions from fellow scholarly participants

who are present only on the page, a good writer must

accommodate the contributions of those participants and

integrate them into a coherent, logically sequenced flow. The

line of thought, the line of intellect, must be enhanced by the

presence of signposts that indicate where the next turn or

twist is heading for the reader to be able to keep up with the

account and where it is going.

In the sense that one is marshalling evidence from many

sources and positing them in such a way as to lead to certain

inferences and deductions, we call these the signposts of

academic argumentation.

Three recently published books call these signposts thinking

moves and offer suggestions and practical advice for

applying such strategies and practical methods for writing

the traditional research essay.

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In They Say/I Say, the two authors, Gerald Graff and Cathy

Birkenstein, list 19 templates which are sentences that start

out positing a certain logic but that are not completed. For

example,

I wholeheartedly endorse what X calls _____.

By focussing on ________, X overlooks the deeper problem

of _____.

These 19 categories of templates have 4 to 10 starter

sentences in each category.

Joseph Harris in Rewriting reduces such writing to 5 major

moves: coming to terms, forwarding, countering ideas, taking

an approach, and revising.

In Critical Passages, Kristin Dombek and Scott Hernadon

clearly describe the types of dead-end streets into which

many students drive their cars of thought, but offer five

thinking moves as tools or models of thought for the student

to deploy in their essays so they don’t end up in such dead-

ends.

Moreover, we might mention here once again the related

book, A Writer’s Guide to Using 8 Methods of Transition by

Victor Pellegrino, as also a superb guide that helps lay out

before the student the full range of phrases and sentence

starters that will help propel their lines of thought, as well as

indicate transitions and changes of direction in thought.

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Writing a Critical Review

As noted before, Professional Critical Reviews are

usually written after graduation from the university and

appear in literary journals and noted magazines like The

New Yorker or The New York Review of Books. However,

critical reviews of poems, essays, books, and movies are

also a standard feature of university literature courses,

with students required to read, analytically dissect, and

synthetically interpret as well as analyze, evaluate, and

personally respond to what they read.

Below, we provide 8 guidelines to assist students in

analyzing essays and other forms of literature.

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Parting Thoughts about the Essay

With the 8 methods for analyzing an essay above, wehave begun to shift the emphasis of our book fromWriting to Reading.

However, we conclude this section with some finalreflections on and a final tribute to the Essay as adistinct form of prose, so central to all of modern andcontemporary life.

Below are 5 quotations or selections about the essaywhich conclude our reflections about this form, followedby a recommendation to read in its entirety what weregard as the finest essay ever written about the essay –She by Cynthia Ozick, a 5-page essay which firstappeared in the September 1998 issue of the AtlanticMonthly. We do not wish to quarrel with others whomay, quite legitimately, nominate their own preferredcandidate for the best essay ever written about theessay. We always encourage diverse presentations orinterpretations of an idea or issue.

The first quotation below is taken from RichardDowling’s first book The Youth and Maturity ofHumanity: Interpreting Modern, American, andImpending Global History as One Story. In the quotebelow from the book, Dowling describes both the Essayand the Novel as the ideal forms suited for the MiddleClass which would dominate the modern world. Hisdescription of the Essay introduces us to the 4subsequent quotes about the essay.

Dowling on Essay and Novel

“To minister to this growing audience of the Middle Class and

its growing sense of importance, self-esteem, and need for

enlightenment and entertainment, two entirely new forms of

literature would appear and come to dominate (between them)

the moral, mental, and aesthetic sensibilities of modern times:

namely, the essay and the novel.

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“The essay is a discursive form of prose – from a distinctly

individual viewpoint – which observes, comments upon, analyses,

evaluates, expresses, or otherwise occasions reflection and

thought about the everyday conditions, preoccupations, and

interests of ordinary people in the real world. It is the perfect

medium of information, education, and general enlightenment for

a class absorbed in the monetary, material, and pressing affairs

of the secular, busy, ambitious world.

“As for the novel, it is manifestly not about ideal classes or

types of people, but about specific individuals in time and

place, embedded in and reflecting their material

circumstances and peculiar social settings. The heroes and

heroines are ordinary, plain people like you and me: Tom

Jones by Fielding; Robinson Crusoe by Defoe; Pamela by

Richardson; Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn by Mark

Twain; Scarlet O’Hara in Gone with the Wind; Heather in The

Scarlet Letter; or Jem in To Kill a Mockingbird. And the need

to satisfy the huge market for this literature yields yet

another crop of writers, critics, and publishers, swelling in

their turn the ranks of the ever burgeoning middle class. The

onset of musical recordings, movies, radio, television, and the

internet in this century brings this whole process – rather

definitively and clearly – to a climax, demonstrating the

power, influence, and, one might add, the increasing privilege

of the middle class in the Modern World.”

Montaigne, The Individual, and theForm of the Essay

from Mimesis: The Representation of Reality in Western Literature Erich Auerbach

In the selection below, Erich Auerbach, whom many consider thegreatest literary critic of all time, in his classic book Mimesis, capturesthe striking individuality of Montaigne who popularized the essay asthe pre-eminent form of individual expression in the 16th century.

Though Montaigne helped pioneer the essay form in France, essay-like formats had arisen in Tang Dynasty in China centuries earlier.

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No less a part of Montaigne's method is thepeculiar form of his Essays. They are neither anautobiography nor a diary. They are based on noartfully contrived plan and do not followchronological order. They follow chance – lesfantasies de la musique sont conduictes par art, lesmiennes par sort. Strictly speaking it is "things"after all which direct him – he moves amongthem, he lives in them; it is in things that hecan always be found, for, with his very open eyesand his very impressionable mind, he stands inthe midst of the world. But he does not follow itscourse in time – nor a method whose aim is toattain knowledge of the one specific thing or of agroup of things. He follows his own inner rhythm,which, though constantly induced andmaintained by things, is not bound to them, butfreely skips from one to another. He prefers unealleure poetique, a sauts et a gambades (a poetic allure,

has jumps and capers). Villey has shown (Le Sources, etc., 2, p.3ff)

that the form of the Essays stems from thecollections of exempla, quotations, andaphorisms which were a very popular genre inlate antiquity and throughout the Middle Agesand which in the sixteenth century helped to spreadhumanistic material. Montaigne had begun in thisvein. Originally his book was a collection of thefruit of his reading, with running commentary.This pattern was soon broken; commentarypredominated over text, subject matter or pointof departure was not only things read but alsothings lived -- now his own experiences, nowwhat he heard from others or what took placearound him. But the principle of clinging to concretethings, to what happens, he never gave up, any morethan he did his freedom not to tie himself to a fact-

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finding method or to the course of events in time. . . .Montaigne is something new. The flavor of thepersonal, and indeed of a single individual, ispresent much more strikingly, and the mannerof expression is much more spontaneous andcloser to everyday spoken discourse, althoughno dialogue is involved.

In her excellent compilation on the essay The Art of the Essay, in her

Introduction On Approaching the Essay, Lydia Fakundiny notes that

“essayists read, avidly and widely.” She closes saying “Reading an essay is

not a feat of information-gathering; it is not like running down to the corner

store for a quart of milk. It is following the motions and paces of another

mind, alert and open to whatever they reveal. Reading essays and writing

them have this in common: either way you must ‘know how to take a

walk.’ The art of it is one of the great pleasures a person can cultivate.”

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The Essay as a Feminine Form as

well as Masculine Form

In the immediate previous quotation, CynthiaOzick ended by highlighting that the essaydemanded “a committed intelligence, a single-minded truth-speaker.” At first sight, the essayseems to privilege the Father Tongue with itscommitment to rational, clear, logical, andfocused thought supported by adequateevidence gleaned from critical reflection andthe fruit of investigative integrity. However, asthe Chinese reminded us long ago, the Right Handis not absolutely contradictory to the Left Hand;indeed, the Right Hand at the height of itsdevelopment implies and transforms itself into theLeft Hand – the fully known and developed goesin search of the still unknown and emergingreality yet not fully comprehended. That whichis thoroughly discovered and fully defined goes insearch of what remains to be discovered and still tobe defined, as Joan Retallack notes, so admirably,in her evaluation below of the essay and herdefinition of it as a feminine form – however ironicthat may sound. For, the essay is open like thefeminine sensibility and ever a Venture, as theorigin of the word essay means in the originalFrench infinitive verb (essayer) to try, to attempt,to venture.

“Just as the essay is not the result ofinvestigation, [but] it is the investigation goingon in writing that, in the radical mode of anylively thought, does not, at any given point,know entirely where it's going. This means that

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its openness to its inability to conclude, its refusal toknow, rather than to sense, suspect, consider, theorize,contemplate, hypothesize, conjecture, wager ... forms itas an experience of being in the world where uncertainand unpredictable life principles (in contrast toprescriptive rules) always exceed the scope of logicalinference or imagination. This is the movingprinciple of the essay, which is distinctlyfeminine in its violations of masculineorthodoxy, the rule-bound "law of the fathers"that some feminist theorists have unfortunatelymistaken as the only principles we have.”

—Joan Retallack The Poethical Wager

As indicated earlier, we now conclude byrecommending, in confirmation and support ofRetallack’s view of the essay, the superb essay Sheabout the essay as a form of literature by CynthiaOzick from the Sept. 1998 issue of The AtlanticMonthly.

Below is the wonderful opening paragraph of thatessay to entice you to read the whole essay in itsentirety:

“An essay is a thing of the imagination. If there is informationin an essay, it is by-the-by, and if there is an opinion, one neednot trust it for the long run. A genuine essay rarely has aneducational, polemical, or socio-political use; it is themovement of a free mind at play. Though it is written inprose, it is closer in kind to poetry than to any other form.Like a poem, a genuine essay is made of language andcharacter and mood and temperament and pluck and chance.”

If the paragraphs above by Retallack and Ozickseem to contradict so much of what we have saidpreviously about the essay , well they do contradictwhat we said, for they represent the Left Hand and theRight Brain, while we previously stressed the RightHand and the Left Brain evaluation of the essay as a

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typical product. The essay as a form of literature,however, is ideally a harmony and blend of the 2hands, of the Feminine Tongue and the MasculineSensibilities

Continuing to Write All Through Life

Students have now acquired an understanding of the

Form features and Form options available in the English

Sentence. They have learned to incorporate those varied

Forms of Sentences into longer paragraphs and extended

essays of various types such as Expository, Narrative,

Descriptive, and Comparative. They have mainly been

engaged, therefore, in developing skill and proficiency in

self-expressive writing on themes and topics largely of their

own choice. In our 2-volume survey of the English

language The Two Hands Approach to the English Language

– a Symphonic Assemblage, we designate the mastery of

self-expressive writing as the first stage of learning to write

and call it the Mother Tongue. However, there are 2

remaining stages that aspiring writers must learn to

master over a lifetime: the Father Tongue and the

Imaginative Tongue.

Mastery of the second stage, the Father Tongue,

requires students to students to acquire research skills

and to construct argumentative essays, critical reviews,

and public articles discussing contemporary issues and

offering possible solutions. The mastery of this stage

should generally be accomplished in successive university

classes in various disciplines of learning.

Mastery of the third stage, the Imaginative Tongue,

requires students to harmoniously blend the feeling,

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fluency, and heart of self-expressive writing (the Mother

Tongue) with the rationality, logical consistency, clarity of

expression, and objective detachment of writing about

public problems and issues (the Father Tongue). The

Imaginative Tongue, as its name suggests, means that the

creative imagination is added to the skills acquired by the

Mother Tongue (Semester 1) and the Father Tongue

(Semester 2 and later university courses). It takes a

lifetime of reading in varied genres, disciplines of learning,

and above all, in the fields of literature to master the

Imaginative Tongue which yields the magical riches and

worlds of poetry, stories, songs, and the mythologies of

world cultures and the works of literary genius they

harbour and transmit.

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Selected Bibliography

A much larger bibliography (than the selected bibliography

below) of all the books we consulted for our 2 volume study

of the English language, The Two Hands Approach to the

English Language: A Symphonic Assemblage, is given at the

end of Volume II.

(1) Bacon, Nora. The Well-Crafted Sentence: a writer’s guide to style.Boston: Bedford/St.Martins, 2009.

(2) Beaufort, Anne. College Writing and Beyond: A New Framework forUniversity Writing Instruction. Logan, Utah: Utah State UniversityPress, 2007.

(3) Beaufort, Anne. Writing in the Real World: Making the transitionfrom school to work. New York: Teachers College Press (ColumbiaUniversity), 1999.

(4) Bennett, James R. Prose Style: a historical approach throughstudies. San Francisco: Chandler Publishing Company, 1971.

(5) Berlin, James A. Rhetoric and Reality: Writing Instruction inAmerican Colleges 1900-1985. Carbondale: Southern Illinois UP,1987.

(6) Berlin, James A. Writing Instruction in 19th Century AmericanColleges. Carbondale: Southern Illinois UP, 1984.

(7) Berlin, James A. Rhetorics, Poetics, and Cultures: refiguring collegeEnglish studies. West Lafayette: Parlor Press, 2003, 1996.

(8) Berthoff, Ann E. The Making of Meaning: metaphors, models,and maxims for writing teachers. Upper Montclair NJ:Boyton/Cook Publishers, 1981.

(9) Berthoff, Ann E. The Sense of Learning. Portsmouth NH:Boyton/Cook Publishers Heinnemann, 1990.

(10) Berthoff, Ann E. (ed.) Reclaiming the Imagination: philosophicalperspectives for writers and teachers of writing. UpperMontclair, NJ: Boyton/Cook Publishers, Inc. 1984.

(11) Berthoff, Ann E. forming/thinking/writing: the composingimagination. Upper Montclair, NJ: Boyton/Cook Publishers, Inc.1982.

(12) Bishop, Wendy, Deborah Coxwell Teague. Finding Our Way: AWriting Teacher’s Sourcebook. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2005.

(13) Bloom, Lynn Z., Donald A. Daiker, Edward M. White (eds.)Composition Studies in the New Millenium: rereading the past,

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rewriting the future. Carbondale: Southern Illinois University,2003.

(14) Bloom, Lynn Z., Donald A. Daiker, Edward M. White. (eds.)Composition in the Twenty-First Century: Crisis and Change.Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 1997.

(15) Blumenthal, Joseph C. English 2600 with Writing Applications: AProgrammed Course in Grammar and Usage. New York:Wordworth Publishing, 1994.

(16) Boice, Robert. Professors as Writers: a self-help guide to productivewriting. Stillwater OK: New Forums Press Inc. 1990.

(17) Brereton, John C. (ed.) The Origins of Composition Studies in theAmerican College, 1875-1925: a documentary history. Pittsburgh:University of Pittsburgh Press, 1994..

(18) Britton, James. Language and Learning. 2nd ed. Portsmouth, NH:Boynton/Cook, 1993.

(19) Britton, James, et al. The Development of Writing Abilities 11 to 18.London: Macmillan, 1975.

(20) Carroll, Joyce Armstrong, Edward E. Wilson. Acts of Teaching: Howto Teach Writing. Englewood, CO: Teacher Ideas Press, 1993.

(21) Christensen, Francis. Notes Toward a New Rhetoric: 6 Essays forTeachers. New York: Harper, 1967.

(22) Connors, Robert J. Selected Essays of Robert J. Connors. Ed. by LisaEde and Andrea A. Lunsford. Urbana, Illinois: Bedford/St. Martins,2003.

(23) Connors, Robert J. The Erasure of the Sentence. From CollegeComposition and Composition 52.1 (2000: 96-128)

(24) Corbett, Edward P.J., Nancy Myers, and Gary Tate. The WritingTeacher’s Sourcebook. 4th edition. New York: Oxford UniversityPress, 2000.

(25) Crowley, Sharon. Composition in the University: Historical andPolemic Essays. Pittsburgh: Univ. of Pittsburgh Press, 1998.

(26) Delbanco, Nicholas. The Sincerest Form: Writing Fiction by Imitation.New York: McGraw-Hill, 2004.

(27) Donoghue, Frank. The Last Professors: the corporate university andthe fate of the humanities. New York: Fordham University Press,2008.

(28) Ede, Lisa. Situating Composition: composition studies and the politicsof location. Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 2004.

(29) Elbow, Peter. Everyone Can Write: Essays Toward a Hopeful Theoryof Writing and Teaching Writing. New York: Oxford UniversityPress, 2000.

(30) Gardiner, J. H. The Forms of Prose Literature. New York: CharlesScribner’s Sons, 1900 (Nabu reprint).

(31) Glaser, Joe. Understanding Style: practical ways to improve yourwriting. New York: Oxford University Press. 1999.

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(32) Graff, Gerald. Professing Literature: an institutional history. Chicago:University of Chicago Press, 1987.

(33) Hawk, Byron. A Counter-History of Composition: towardmethodologies of complexity. Pittsburgh: University of PittsburghPress, 2007.

(34) Herrington, Anne, Kevin Hodgson, Charles Moran (eds.)Teaching the New Writing: technology, change, and assessmentin the 21st century classroom. New York: Teachers College Press,2009.

(35) Herrington, Anne, Charles Moran (eds.) Genre across theCurriculum. Logan Utah: Utah State University Press, 2005.

(36) Herrington, Anne, Charles Moran (eds.) Writing, Teaching, andLearning in the Disciplines. New York: The Modern LanguageAssociation of America, 1992.

(37) Hillocks, George, Jr. Teaching Writings as Reflective Practice. NewYork: Teachers College Press, 1995.

(38) Hyland, Ken. Disciplinary Discourses: social interactions in academicwriting. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press, 2004 (2000).

(39) Kent, Thomas. Post-Process Theory: beyond the writing-processparadigm. Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 1999.

(40) Kinneavy, James. A Theory of Discourse. Englewood Cliffs, NJ:Prentice-Hall, 1971.

(41) Miller, Susan (ed.). The Norton Book of Composition Studies. NewYork: W.W. Norton & Co.,2009.

(42) Miller, Thomas P. The Evolution of College English: literary studiesfrom the puritans to the postmoderns. Pittsburgh: University ofPittsburgh Press, 2010..

(43) Moffett, James. Detecting Growth in Language. Portsmouth NH:Boyton/Cook Heinemann, 1992.

(44) Moffett, James. Teaching the Universe of Discourse. New York:Boynton/Cook, 1987.

(45) North, Stephen M. The Making of Knowledge in Composition:Portrait of an emerging field. Portsmouth NH: Boyton/CookHeinemann, 2000.

(46) O’Reilly, Mary. The Peaceable Classroom. New York: Boynton/Cook,1993.

(47) Ohmann, Richard. English in America: A Radical View of theProfession. New York: Oxford University Press, 1976.

(48) Pellegrino, Victor C. A Writer’s Guide to Powerful Paragraphs: 30Ways Organize and Write Effective Paragraphs. Wailuku, Hawaii:Maui ar Thoughts Co., 1993.

(49) Pellegrino, Victor C. A Writer’s Guide to Transitional Words andExpressions. Wailuku, Hawaii: Maui ar Thoughts Co., 1987.

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(50) Perl, Sondra, ed. Landmark Essays on Writing Process. Davis, CA,USA: Hermagoras Press, 1994.

(51) Roen, Duane, Veronica Pantoja, Lauren Yena, Susan K. Miller, EriWaggoner. Strategies for Teaching First-Year Composition. UrbanaIL: National Council of Teachers of English, 2002.

(52) Russell, David R. Writing in the Academic Disciplines, 1870-1990: acurricular history. Carbondale, Souther Illinois UP, 1991.

(53) Scholes, Robert. The Rise and Fall of English: Reconstructing adiscipline. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1998.

(54) Smit, Donald W. The End of Composition Studies. Carbondale:Southern Illinois University Press, 2004.

(55) Strong, William. Sentence Combining: a composing book (3rd ed.)New York: McGraw-Hill, 1994, 1983.

(56) Strong, William. Writer’s Toolbox: a sentence-combining workshop.New York: McGraw-Hill, 1996.

(57) Tate, Gary, Amy Rupiper, and Kurt Schick. A Guide to CompositionPedagogies. New York: Oxford University Press, 2001.

(58) Tate, Gary, Edward P.J. Corbett, and Nancy Myers. The WritingTeacher’s Sourcebook. 3rd ed. New York: Oxford University Press,1994.

(59) Trimble, John R. Writing with Style: Conversations on the Art ofWriting. Englecliffs, New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1975.

(60) Villanueva, Victor Jr. (ed.). Cross-Talk in Comp Theory: A Reader.Urbana, Illinois: National Council of Teachers of English, 1997.

(61) Von Hallberg, Robert. Canons. Chicago: University of Chicago Press,1984.

(62) Waddell, Maria L., Robert M. Esch, and Roberta R. Walker. The Art ofStyling Sentences: 20 Patterns for Success. 3rd ed. Hauppauge, NY:Barron’s Educational Service, 1993.

(63) Zemliansky, Pavel and Wendy Bishop. Research Writing Revisited: asourcebook for teachers. Portsmouth NH: Boynton/Cook Heinemann,2003..

Genre

1) Bakhtin, Mikhail. Speech Genres and Other Late Essays. Austin:University of Texas Press, 1986.

2) Bawarshi, Anis S. and Mary Jo Reiff. Genre: An Introduction toHistory, Theory, Research, and Pedagogy. West Lafayette: ParlorPress, 2010.

3) Bazerman, Charles, Adair Bonini, & Débora Figueiredo. Genre in aChanging World. West Lafayette: Parlor Press and Fort Collins:WAC Clearinghouse, 2009.

4) Bishop, Wendy and Hans Ostrom, eds. Genre and Writing: issues,arguments, alternatives. Portsmouth: Boyton/Cook Heinemann,1997.

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5) Johns, Ann M. Text, Role, and Context. New York: CambridgeUniversity Press, 1997.

6) Swales, John M. Research Genres: explorations and applications.New York: Cambridge University Press, 2004.

7) Swales, John M. Genre Analysis: English in academic and researchsettings. New York: Cambridge University Press, 1990.

8) Tardy, Christine M. Building Genre Knowledge. West Lafayette:Parlor Press, 2009.

Valuable Writing Websites:

1) Harvard Guides for Writing http://is.gd/hAiOu2) UMUC Online Guide to Writing and Research http://is.gd/hAj4i

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Biographical Notes on the Authors

Richard Dowling, M.A.Richard Dowling is an associate professor with the Asian Division of theUniversity of Maryland University College, where he has taught EnglishComposition, History, and Government courses in Asia for 20 years –including Guam, Japan, and Australia for 20 years, with 15 of those yearsin South Korea. He received a B.A. in History and Philosophy fromWheeling University in 1966, and an M.A. in History from DuquesneUniversity in 1968. He also completed two years of doctoral work in Historyat the University of Connecticut from 1968 to 1970. Subsequently, hereceived a B.S. in English from the State University of New York in 1990,and a permanent certificate to teach both English and Social Studies ingrade 7-12 from the State of New York in1991.

In 2008, he published his first book The Youth and Maturity of Humanity:Interpreting American, Modern, and Impending Global History as OneStory. The book is available online.

He introduced the New Angle on Writing in a preliminary form (The TwoHands Approach) at the KOTESOL conference in Daegu, South Korea inOctober 2000 and again in a talk at a KOTESOL meeting in the spring of2010.

He has taught this Approach for over 12 years.

Stephen D. Watson, M.Ed.Stephen Watson has taught English at universities in Gumi and Daegu,South Korea and in Guangzhou, China for more than 9 years. Prior to that,he taught high school mathematics in Canada, Tanzania, and Guyana. Healso participated in the Arcosanti arcology project in Arizona, and hecontributed to greenbelt afforestation at Auroville in Tamil Nadu, India. Hehas B.Ed. and B.A. degrees from Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario,Canada. He completed his M.Ed. in Teaching Second Languages from theUniversity of Southern Queensland, Australia in 2002.

He has written and illustrated a children’s book entitled Moss, the Bike-Riding Mosquito, published in 2008 and available online.

He has also produced 4 musical CDs with songs under the artist namestedawa. He plays guitar and sings all the songs on the 4 CDs, most ofwhich were written by him; additionally, he puts fine poems by other writersto music. The 4 CDs are available online with the following titles: “in it forthe long haul”, “Peoples of the World – A New Day”, “Burst onto theScene”, and “Symphony of Song”. A Best Songs of… 5

thCD will be out

soon.

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new angle on writing [semester 2]

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