V&

Tj.au, pj rtl1ijlljpi-rw'- m

THE ADVERTISER.. THE ADVERTISER,,, - -

Published every Thursday by ADVERTISING RATES.CAJPJ?IIBY 0 HACKER,

Proprietors. space. H 5 55 ;g5 S2

Halt Inch. ?I.C0 JL50 2jOQ, fiSQ ?30,f5.00' J S.tOOTJCC Xo.T-- J McPhcrson' Block, npStairs, Onelnch. 1.50 2.50 l.OO 3.50' S.COJ 7.0O Ifl.eQ

Twolnchi ZHO' 3JO- - 4.00 5.00 7.00 10.00 .eBROtt'NVILLE, NEBRASKA. Three Inches T.00 4.00 "Ulrt 8.00 10.00 15.60 .0"0Six Inches 5.00 S.00 18.00 12.00 K00 23.00 40.&0.Twelve inches. !.00 Kffl 15.00 W.TO 25lOO 40.00 60.6f

Terras, in o : Onecolnron 15.00 aa.oo S5.QQ 30.00 43.00 6oj ico.eeOne copy, tune year S2 00 Lesraladvertisement atlegAl rates: Oaesqtinreo-- e copy. six months . 1 00 (eight line of Aeateiace, or le.) Hx?t Insejtion'

cry. three months.- - 50 flv: eachsubeqnentliwrt!oti.50c03

or. i nn--C AT TTT?TI H kVEKY PAGT"' - " " ' 'I!. I. U' -- " -- ' '

BUSINESS CARDS.

ATTORNEYS..T. II. liroady,

1 TTnP.NnY ANIj COUNS-ELO- AT UW-.-(j -- e over State 15ank, llrownvlll' .Net).

K. W. Tliouinb,1 TTOHNEY AT LAW.-Oir.- ce. front room over

-- - ft awn &. Cross's Hardware fetore, Browu- -

Sidney Erencli,OUNsKLOrt AT LAW.1 TT'jr.VEV AND

iY o lf" 01 erl't Office IJrownville.Neb. I3yl

St ull fc Schick.TTORVP.YP AND COUNSELORS AT LAW.A "I; !)i- - consul leu in tin- - Jvitt;JlHli ana i.er- -

r r - 3!-G- -s. Oliice, ro. 70 Jiam btreei.upttrj IJrjwtiville, Neb.

W. T. Itogcrx,ATTORNEY A NO COUNSPJ.OR- - ATT.AYv'.

j Wilt ne flilteent att.-ntio- to any le?alt. -- 1.. T.trusUsHo bis care. Office In Court IIjusej; ; ' .s lsrow. iivill. Nel.

Hcwctt &. Neivuinn,TT'UFI.YS AND COUNSELORS AT LAW.A I'r aririll.e.rteli.

V K OllI'JOS. Attorney at Law and Land Agent,

i. Jleatrjc-i-.;af- e County. Nebraska.

PHYSICIANS.JML LAPA Y, M. 1).. Physician. Surgeon.

V1--- 1 1 obstetrician. Graduate! In ln51. Loca-- t

j , IJr nville ls.V. lOtllce, Lett A Creigirs. r -- i Tf Md'herw!! Wock- - Special attentionr i i and diMjases of Women andl y.r j lo-n- i

-- r. WAUT.M. I).. VJiyakiaii and snn.eon.(7i simile, e. OlHcelmfirefroml toa.m.. H'id o , U)"'t p. in. Olticein II. C. Letl'

tr t ? re

M TIIEWS. OfficeII.' irugsure,rvo. 32 JIatn street, JJrowu

NOTAIIIES.L. A. ISermuiiii,

V JTI ri'KLIC AND CONYEYANrEI- L-- N. Main btre.'t, Jlrowm jlie Neb.

17 I J IlItl'.HT. Notary I'ubllcatMl Conveyancer,Jj. N r.' Mam street. scoimI Hoor. UrownviIIe,N i t ir the l'iuitable and American Ton--

kU ii- - iraiice comiHinies.IIHUGGISTS.

Lett & CrtlgJi,'- - . IT. awl dealers in Paints. Oils. "WallD Vi t McrherMMi Jllock, No. & Main

r . i ' v. nvilie. Neb.

FEKI) STAHLE.Inlnu lloiiiie Ketd &, Training StnltleA.r II NO. Proprietor. Ilorebreaklnir and

.niadea Hiteciulty. Horses boardedc r i, it tttiii.

COUNTY SURVEYOR.C. 31. Iluyclrn,

(' N-- -i sCKVEYOK. Post ofllce address,u ' i . Nematiaft-unty- , Neb.

I.A.V1) AGENTS.p Hh."A"I:LL. Keal Estate and Tax I'ayinc.v. nM.-- e in OoKswell ISlock, corner 1'irst

trt-lM- . Will ifUepromjit attention tot-- lirtnte and the Payment ol Taxetti 'i- - Nvmaba Ltnd t. 7tt

K:.V ' V. HUOIIKS. Ueal Estate Agent andrn ilio. OrScein nnrtlie&Mt corner 31c- -

1 r, . is up stairs. lirowiiMlle. Neb.JAM If. IIOOVKIt. ltl Estate and Taxw : - nent. Oftfeo in Distriel Court Uoom.w . r .,ii.t attention to the ale ol Iteal LV- -

' . !ii-- of Taxes throughout tiieNeinaba' i.

GUAI7.' DEALERS.Geo. G. Start,

x .'KMI.rjtlX OUAIN AND AORICri- -

in Iri.pleiiieim, and tor.ige. I'firwardmi;n Merchant Aspinwall. Neb.

MERCHANDISE.1. L1AM T. DEN.DealerlnUenernlMrrclirifi- -

aud Forwarding and ikmiiiis-in- i Mercl- -

" - Mam street, Itrownville, "rii- i stoves. 1'Hrniture. etc.. aiu us (

Li I t market price paid for Hides, lVlw,i - 1- - .miy l'roduce.

SADDLERY'.

Ll 1 U. Harness. ISridles. Collars. Et-- .. No.'a i .rct,Krownvjlie.Nel. Metidindune

(iuarantei'd. ;;KUILDiNG.

II t EI.Klt, Bralce lJuUderaiid Contractor,. . .'If. Nb. olea;eiit for It. W. smith's

j - 'tridge. TI.eslrsestaiHl oetwoodenin use.

HOTELS." HOUSli, I. D. Itobison. Proprietor.A;1

r.-'t- . between Main and College, (ioodI, J.ierj telubio Hi connection with tins11 -

GUN SMITH.HADDOCK. C!nnSmUb,fc Iirk Sniltli.VM. ,. at No. rX JIaSn street, ltnwnvilSe.

N - . i'is made toorder. and repairinc donea nap ra'es. aviy

HI.ACICSM1THS.T u s. J C. ;riK0N. IJlai ksiniths and Hoi-- e

First stret.tKtweesi Main and Atlantic.U? v. Neb. Work done to order and satwrac- -

t l K : !;tH-d- .

BOOTS AND SHOES.

v-- .. )str..'t.lJroMiville.Neii. uasconiani- -

I: . 1 .i koihI assortment ort.eius, JJuy s,- ) 'nUlren'M Itonts and Shoes. Custom

null neatness and dispatch. Itepalnngc , ri not .

SALOONS.J lit ifRTA CO.. Peace and Quiet Sa-N- fi

,i Mrjii street. Hrownville, Neb. Thet ' - i id I.iiiirs mi band.

F. SOUBManufacturer and T'ler in

ri.TTlR. JKJJ-- HN J k.

nwa: cc

zZS-tifs- S PI1 ' cn

"WHIPS, CANVAS COLLABS, TIOBES,7i :v r.Mvs. rtKriii. blankets.

BHOWNVILLE, NEB.

JACOB MAROHX,

3EBRCHANT TAII.OR,

9s

&

CLOCKS, WATCHES, JEWELRY,r.c-a.rc- d. and Jewelry Manufactured to order.

ALL WORK WARRANTED.

Clocks, Watches, JewelryJOSEPH SPIUTZ,

No. 59 Kain Strt, Brottrnvillo.QL Keen constantly on hand a large and wellt-- V. ,"lwi stock of genuine articles in his line.(,Uf(.ainnK of Clocks. Watches and Jewelry

u:ie on abort notice, at reasonable rates.ALL VXRK WARRAKTEIT.

ESTABLISHED 1856. iOldest Paper in the State. J

PERU ADVERTISEMENTS.

Insurance not a Privilege but a Duty.

Continental Insurance Company

OF NEW 1TOH.K.Actx overLoimch jintil in Cbicneo. ... 1,500,000LntM-- pnid In Itotton, .... 500,000

mntSe a specialty, upon thelnstnlFarm jiierit or Annual Premium plan.PJC for live years; less tnan nve years,lilbrvb stock plan.

Insure against loss or damage by Fire andLlKlitning buildings and content. hay. grainand stock. ;KO T. HOPE, Pres.

CYiir-- . Peck. See.C. J. I5ariier, General Agent, Omaha.

P. M. MARTIN,AGENT FOK NEMAHA COUNTY.

BARJnES & MOODEY,DAVID IIAItKES. S. S. MOODEY.

di:alers in

GENEEAL

BOOTS, SHOES,

Queensware, Glassware,

a T O HING,HATS, CAPS,

LAXPSofthe Latest Styles,

In great h variety.

t lj . ri I i ' ? II r p

i U fi R i j un IA FULL I p ' LINE OF

i i

Moul i clings,

Picture" Frames.

IJIGI1EST MARKET PRICEPAID roit

$ J3 !4TM jl ttmyjm mimFor Present or Spring Delivery.

We are constantly filling up v.Ith new goodswhich we

SEIZ. LOW DOWNto suit purchasers.

WE REFETJ TO OTE CUSTOMERS.

S. R. DAIX.3T,DIU'f.'S, 3IEDICIXES,

CHEMICALS,FINE TOILET SOAPS;

rna"j" Hsir A. Tooth Hruslies,Perfumery,

Toilet Articles,Turssxs, shot Lin.i: iikaces,

.Va arm fiiirilrn .vf,PURE WIXES AND LIQUORS FOR

MEDICINAL PURPOSES,Paints. Oils, Tarnishos am! Dye StiifTs,

Letter Paper, Pens, Inks, Envelopes,GLASS, ri'TTY,

Carbon Oil Limps and Chimneys.Piij sirian's Prescriptions Carefally Compounded

npini Pnrrpllblillbll

AND EXCHANGE STABLE

Would respectfully announce to the citizensof Peru and vicinity, that he has opened out

AT PBBTJwith a fi.ie array of

Slock, Carriages & TeamsAND

-- 1 ?ro. 1 Saddle Horses.0?Z!s"AT ALL E0U2S, DAY OF. EIGHT,

to accommodate the pleasure seekingpublic.

No. 1 GALLANTSto drive teams if desired.

I solicit a liberal share of the public patron-age. Very respectfully yours,

"JACK,"

fi3s, GK332 Ss

THOMPSOKTSU. S. Mail and Transfer Hacks,

RUN DAILY FROM

PERU, NEBRASKA,to the following points:

Nobrnslia making connection with trainsCity, on the Midland Pacific K. It,

Bro-urxivill- and return daily."Watson Sta- - making connections with all

tion. Mo., trains on the K. C, St. Joe. &C. 11. It. It.

PASSENGERS AT LOIV KATES.IltEItUIT AND EXPKSSof R I T :MrJ-transter- red

on tlie.se routes ii.ll I.lIIUbat r. antia'iK' rates.QS-j- VII orders left with CEO. A BROWN,

Vs. nt. a: the P. O. in Peru, Neb., will bepromptly attended to.

"Mose" Thompson.C. W. CrLISERTSO:?,

rnPIBPfHTIB and DI u,,u UUIL

CONTRACTS TAKEN.Material Furnished when Desired,at terms and rates-- which defy competition.

di'ress, or call at shop, corner I nth andl'aru streets, l'eru. Ni.

( A. II. GILLETT,Refers to M. M. WILES. Syl

chari.es gaedePROPRIETOR.

Guests received at all hours, DAYm ""JV'"f and NIGHT. Connects with

3L.i-ex- v Stttbleunder same management.

CVCareful attention given to thewants of guests. Ve refer to thetraveling public.

TXT1DT T a.w.ellis .

f 1 I'll I I bas the exclusive riglitI T

of putting in P.ORKDWKI.Tst in Wt VTT A I

COUNTY. Calls by i

letter receive promptattention. Parties may

make choice of PINE. OAI.VENIZEDIRON OR CEMENT TUBING. We makewells through ROClt, as we are providedwith a thousand pound horse-powe- r drill.

same size as Auger. Guarantee water(Drill pay. Postoffice address. PERU, Neb

done in Winterer trcTJ cr fsinTnr.

PERU ADVERTISEMENTS.

BROWNVLLLE, NEBRASKA, THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 1873.

G-- . W. PETERSON CQ.ivill make to order I NH

TinOTS AND SHOES. ' WEZPAIBING DONS PR01IPTLY. '

Pull and see Samples. ' wisro fit isro st.e wJtt.1. WORK WABEAXTJuB:

JORS BRITVSRO.V,

I Fashionable Boot and Shoe;

s 3vr33:EH..CUST03I WORK ALWAYS OX HAND.

fl liepairs executed with neatness. j ?S CALL AND- EXAMINE MY STOCK , &

R. B. S3IKTII,

Justice of the Peace & Collection

AGENT.Special attention given to collection of notes

and accounts for non-resident- s.

Address Box 00, PERU, Nemaha Co., Neb.

DAX. I2RYAXT,

Barber and Hair Dresser,PETERSON'S OLD STAND,

Fifth Street, - Peru, Neb.

Particular attention given to Ladles' HairDressing. Switches and Curls made to order.I guirautee good work. Syl

ji-ij- jj, rfnrran

BANKS.

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S3fl A.U.V.

'fP Wr Wffff! 1?&1 Uimi.vms

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0".N E W

FURN FUBE STORE

Wi""-- - - M v ;-- i i " --" -- ?.ff; s s

r &crr:'"?rrv 4

sr vjy -

Full Stock' 3i

T PARLOK T kd;! !i 1T ri ri T T ? 1

suit HI i UKtp i

Uocl-T2oo- m u jM r IW..S 3 y fii

Si H f0iA w . 5

.Aif1I- - .'.'.I ' V s, AJ1

h: ct "v tcl

SS ??? " sR TUBE!Duckiae Powder AND ALL

KTNDSOF AmmunitionFor sale by

TISDEL & RICHARDS.

M

TENNYSON'S GAUDNEK'S DAUGII- -TEIt.

For np the porch there grew an Ers tern ro3e.That, flowering high, the last night's galenad caught.

And blown across the walk. One arm nloftGowned in pure white, that fitted to the

shapeHolding the bush, to fix It back, she stood.A slnglestream of her soft brown hairPoured on one side; the shadow of the flow-

ersStole all the golden gloss, and, waveringLoving lower, trembled on her waistAh, happy shade! and still went wavering

down.But, ere it touched a foot that might have

lancedThe greensward Into greener circles, dipped.And mixed with shadows of the common

ground!But the lull day dwelt on her brows, and sun-

nedITer violet eyes, and all her Hebe bloom.And doubled his own warmth against herHps.And on the bounteous wave of such a breastAs never pencil drew. Half light.Half shade, she stood, a sight to make an oldman young.

BY' LIGHTNING.

Printing ly Electricity AVourterfuJ,ana All That.From the Memphis Appeal.

The average number of electriealimpulses it takes to make a letter isfour. Consequently, four ticks orstrokes of the florae instrument go tothe representation of an alphabeticalcharacter. Even with this slow andclum.sy way of transmitting jpeech,the wire will send news on as last asa good writer can note it down uponmanifold paper. To make electricitythus instantly speak out the thoughtsof men hundreds and even thousandsof miles away, over sandy wastes,lofty and barren mountain ridges, andthrough the the dark depths of theocean, was a great and marvelous tri-umph of intellect over matter.

o philosopher, however, regardedthat as the ultimate result of humaneffort in that direction. The possibil-ity of the future would be consideredmadness to the people of the past, notonly in telegraphing, but in printing.The Walter press runs oil rolls of pa-per at the rate of ten or twelve milesper hour, printing, cutting, counting,and folding the sheets, deliveringthem at the other side faster than anytongue can count. We shall soe rollsof paper thus run off and printed bytelegraph, if we are lucky enough tolive another quarter of a "century.

What has long been desired andanxiously sought, has at last beenfound that is, a printing telegraph01 easy practical operation. It will l

print by telegraph four times as fast i

as the Morse instrument can transmitmessages. The new instrument whenadapted to four lines of wire can takeine rresitieuts message and deliverit, printed, in San Francisco in halfan hour! The invention belongs toCaptain Lindsey, of Jackson. Hisoperating model upon which the pat-ent was issued is now in the PatentOffice at Washington. What thinkyou of a system of keys arranged inhorizontal lines before the operatorsmuch in the same style that the keysof a piano are arranged before theplayer, each key representing a letterupon which the expert telegraphistplays, producing, not sweet sounds,but printed sheets three thousandmiles away.

Captain Lind-e- y has succeeded inproducing a revolution in telegraphy.Ills invention makes every printer atonce tne mosr expert oi operatorsHis system of keys may be arrangedafter the mode ol a printer s case, inwhich the letters are arranged accord-ing

I

to their importance, thoe most j

commonly used being more conven-ient to the hand of the artist, andthose least used being more remote.The invention, in fact, admits of theproduction of a counterpart of theprinter's case. The types not beingliable to run out, and the operatornever having to complain of "want ofsorts," one character of each kind issufficient to last an age.

The operator can touch those char-acters as fast as he niaj', and a corres-ponding impression is made upon therapidly uncoiling slips of paper at theother end of the line. A rapid print-er can "distribute" nearly a columnof type in an hour, consequently hecould operate on the new instrumentthat fast, and even faster, for with thetelegraphic instrument he would haveno "spaces" to deal with, and veryfew other marks. It will be quiteplain to every printer and newspaperman that when the alphabet is ar-ranged in the order named, and hasmerely to be touched to make a markat the "other end of the line," therecan hardly be a limit to the quantityof matter which may b transmitted,and the rapidity will be determinedby the expertness of the operator.

When the message h received therewill be no difficulty, tor it comes au-

tomatically forth on a printed slip,which uncoils itself from a roller, amiwhen cut into lengths and pastedacross a page of paper will read :

The Printing T e 1 g r a p h isa great success. We cans e n d t w e n t y thousand wordsper hour, printed on slips.

The coil of blank paper upou whichthe characters are impressed is ar-ranged in such manner t:iat it willuncoil j list as fast as the impressionsare made by the letters. This won-derful instrument was tested betweenJackson and New Orleans, a circuithaving been established at the latterplace.

The message was sent from Jack-son, Tennessee, and after passinground 2s ew Orleans was instantly re-

ceived back right by the side of theoperator with the utmost satisfaction.Several gentlemen standing by readthe thoughts of the opeiator from theprinted scroll, which was rapidly un-rolled before their eyes as quickly asif he had spoken in their ears, andthis after the words had passed overeight hundred miles of varied territory, over towns, rivers, bridges,

j swamps, lakes, through woods, and' on the railroad, circled through thedensely peopled, sleeping cityof NewOrleans, and back again to the veryspot where the intelligent impulsewa given to the electricity, and faith-fully delivered the message on theother side of the table in rapidlyprinted fillets similar to the above.Who can say what may be done nextby this powerful agent, of man?

fr , c"Oh, Grandma!" cried a mischiev-

ous little urchin," "I cheated thehens so nicely just now ; I threwthem your gold heads, and theythought they were corn, and eat themup as fast as they could !"

JIMThe Titusville Herald's society

notes deeeribe a belle who "attractsmuch attention since she got in herteeth. She sings divinely, and whenvocalizing always- puts her teeth onthe piano."

SKETCH OP TECWISEH.The following sketch of Tecnm-seh- 's

life, by William Hailer, of Lo-gan county, who came to Mad Riverin 1S12, will be read with interest:

I will be pardoned for speakingmore at length of this savage chief-tain. He was born in 1778, in Piqua,an old Indian town of theShawnees,on the west banks of Mad River, fivemiles west of Springfield, and wasone of three at a birth. His fatherwas of the Kiscopok (or Kickapoo)tribe, and his mother of the Shawneenation. He was above medium stat-ure, his personal appearance dignifiedand commanding; as a speaker hewas fluent and clear with n musicaltone of voice. His speeches were orn-amented by striking illustrations andlofty flights of the coucil. At Spring-field, above alluded to, he evincedgreat forci and dignity. As a war-rior, he was brave hut humane. Ar-dent in lijs country's cause, he keenly resented the encroachment of thewhites, yet extended protection to thecaptive. Early in life he distinguish-ed himself in several skirmishes withtne wnues, out was not promoted to.the chieftaincy till he was about thir-ty years old.

In witnessing the onward rollingsof white emigration, he anticipatedthe fall of his nativi- - land. Thethought of mouldering remains of de-parted kindred, whose resting placewould be disturbed by strangers, pro-moted feelings of resentment ; heconceived the Importance of concen-trating all the Putiian forces, west.south and north, in one united efl'ortof extermination and opposition ; heset out on a tour to the south, visitingall the Indian tribes contiguous to hisroute, urging the necessity of imme-diate action. Meeting one tribe inLouisiana who refused aid.Tecumsehstamped his foot on the ground, andsaid the Great Spirit would shake theearth in evidence of His displeasure.The threatened phenomenon strange-ly occurred as predicted, in the shockof 1S11, to the gaat alarm of the de-linquent nation. But war spread herwings of blood over the country, andere the contemplated arrangementcould be effected. Harrison had struckthe blow on the Tippecanoe that for-ever sealed the savage fate.

But Teciimseh was notsubdued, buttraveled north, gathering to hisstnnd-ar- d

a remnant who, like himself,could be overpowered hut not con- -iiiiureij. milieu wuii uie (iiisutruivProctor, who was irreatlv inferior ingeneralship and humanity, and wascharged b Tecumeh with cowardice,and was repeatedly urged by the sav--age chief to active duty,

When Perry achieved the victoryon the Lake, the British gave upLake Erie, and thought of drawingoil" their land forces, when Tecum sehaddressed them, illustrating their in-

fidelity by keen sacasm. This speechwas translated and read shortly after-wards, and may be seen in the histo-ry of this day.

But the land forces under Harrisonon one hand, and Proctorand Tecum-- P'

h on the other, were yet pending.Just previous to tin engagement thefated chieftain seemed to realize hiedoom, and said to his companions, "Ishall not survive this conflict ; but ifit is to be the will of the Great Spir- -it, 1 wish to deposit my bones wi hthose of my ancestors." He drewhis sword, and added : "When I amdead take this sword ; and when myson grows to manhood give it to him."Soon the forces engaged in deadlyconflict. The thundering tones ofTecumseh rose above the roar of thebattle in the fiercest of the conflict;at the head of his band he deals deatharound him, till, overpowered bynumbers, the manly chieftain sinksin death's cold embrace. On seeingtheir leader slain, the remnant of thesavage forces retreated in confusion,leaving the field with the dying andthe dead to the victors. When hefell Tecumseh was about forty-fiv- e

years of age. With the opportunitiesof some great men. perhaps this no-ble son of the forest would have sec-onded none that have set foot on thecontinent, of any color.

Training a. Heifer.Cows usually become addicted to

kicking when heifers, from beingmilked by abusive milkers. I havenever seen an old cow become a kick-er unless abused. Instead of cows be-

ing averse to being milked when giv-ing a large quantity, I have everfound it the reverse. When pastur-age is good, and cows come home atnight with udders distended withmilk, our "down cast" cows seemgrateful to have it removed. Milkinga heifer for the first time requires pa-

tience, for they will almost invariablykick. In such a case put a broadstrap around her body, just front ofthe udder, and buckle it up moderate-ly tight, and as soon as she gets quiet(for she may dance round a little atfirst) take your pail, set down and goto milking, for she is as-- helpless as akitten. Do not attempt to iie a ropeinstead of a strap, for it will not ans-wer. This is a much better methodthan tying the legs, etc., as it doesnot hurt the animal in the least. Afew applictinns of the strap, withplenty of patience and kindness, willcure the most obstinate case.

A recent German paper containeda witty reply from a eleigyman whowas traveling, and who stopped at ahotel much frequented by what aretermed in commercial parlance,"drummers." The host, not beingused to have clergymen at his table,looked at hiwi with surprise; theclerks used all the artillery of theirlow wit upon him, without eliciting aremark in self-defens- e. The worthyclergyman ate his dinner quietly, ap-parently without unserving the gibesand sneers of his ueighbors.

One of them at Iat, in despair athis forbearance, said, to him :

"Well, I wonder at your patience!Have you not heard all that has beensaid against you ?"

"Oh, yes, but T am used to it. Doyou know who I am?"

"No sir.""Well, I will inform you. I am

chaplain of a lunatic asylum ; suchremarks have no effect upon me

A Hint to Bachelors. A ladynamed Mary Ann Eld ridge had oc-casion to send a note to a gentleman,and put two r's in her first name inthe signature thus "Marry Ann Eld-ridge- ."

The man was a bachelor,and consequently took the hint-mar- ried

Ann E dridge.eg i & -

A poor sailor, wrecked on an un-known coast, wandered about in

'.-.m.- j crfti.ix u.ivil Jt utiiixseizedby savages, when he suddenlycame in sight of a gallows. "Ah"siadhe, "thank God I'm in. a civilizedcou utry." ""

GRADUAL MARRIAGE.There is nothing better in all of

Theodore Parker's writings than hislittle talk about marriages, in whichhe says that a happy wedding Is along falling in love- - Young personsthink love only belongs to brownhair, and plump, round, crimsoncheeks. So it does for its beginning,just as Mount Washington begins atBoston Bay. But the golden mar-riage is a part of love which the brid-al day knows nothing of. Youth isthe tassel and silken flower of life;age is the full corn, ripe and solid inthe ear. Beautilul is the morningof love with its prophetic crimson,violet, purple and gold, with its hopesof days that are to come. Beautifulalso is the evening of love, with itsglad remembrances, and its rainbowside turned towa.d heaven as well asearth. Young people marry theiropsposites in temper and general charac-ter, and such a marriage is common-ly a good match.

They do it instinctively. Theyoung man does not say: "My blackeyes require to be wed with blue, andmy over-vehemen- ce requires to be alittle modified with somewhat of dull- -

M....... 5 .ness aim reserve." w nen tne oppo-sition come together to be wed, theydo not know it, but each thinks theother jut like himself. Old peoplenever marry opposites; they marrytheir similars and from calculation.Each of these two arrangements isvery proper. In their long journeythese young opposites will fall out, bythe way, a great many times, andboth get away from the road ; buteachwill charm the other back again, andby and by they will be agreed us tothe place they will go to and the roadthey will go by, and become reconcil-ed. The man will be nobler andlarger for being associated with somuch humanity unlike himself, andshe will be a nobler woman for hav-ing manhood beside her that seeks tocorrect her deficiencies and supplyher with what she lacks, if the divers-ity1 be not too great, and there be realpiety and love in their hearts to beginwith. The old bridegroom, having amuch shorter journey to make, mustassociate himself with one like him-self.

A perfect and complete marriage isperhaps as rare as perfect personalbeauty. Men and women are marriedfractionally, now a small fraction,then a large fraction. Very few aremarried totally and they only aftersome forty or fifty years of gradualapproach and experiment. Such alarge and sweet fruit is a completemarriage, and it needs a very longsummer to ripen in, and then "a longwinter to mellow and season in. Buta real happy marriage of love andand judgment, between a noble manand woman, is one of the things sovery handsome, that if the sun were,as the Greek poets fable, a god, hemight stop the world in order to feasthis eyes with such a spectacle. Ex-change.

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Too Much. Credit.Mr. Keene, a shrewd and thrifty

farmer of Allen borough, owned alarge thick of .sheep, ami one autumn,when it came housing time, he wasgreatly annoyed on missing a numberof his finest muttons, among themthree or four weathers which he hadraised and fattened for his own table.He was sure it was not the work ofdogs, and the most he could do was toawait further development.

Qn the following spring, when hissheep were turned out to pasture, heinstituted a careful watch, and erelong he detected Tom. Stickney, aneighboring farmer, in the act of pil-fering a sheep ; but he made no noiseabout it at the time. Farmer Stick-ney was a mau well-to-d- o, and Mr.Keene did not care to expose him.

Autumn came again, and uponcounting up his flock, Mr. Keenefound eight sheep missing. He madeout a bill in due form to ThomasStickney for the eight sheep, and pre-sented it. Stickney choked ami stam-mered, but did not back down. Likea prudent man. he paid tho bill andpocketed the receipt.

Another spring time came, and Mr.Keene's sheep were again turned out.Another autumn came, and the farm-er again took an account of his stock,and this time fifteen sheep were miss-ing. As before, he made out the billto Tom. Stickney for the number miss-ing ; but this time Tom. objected.

"It's too much of a good thing,"said he. "Fifteen sheep! Why,bless your soul, I haven't had a fifthpart of them."

Mr. Keene was inexorable."There is the hill," said he. "and I

have made it out in good faith. Ihave made no fuss when the sheephave been missing, because I deemedyour credit good and sufficient."

"Well," groaned Tom, with a biggulp ' I suppose I must pay; but,"he added emphatically, "we'll closethat account from this time. Youhave given me too much credit alto-gether some other rascal has beenstealing on the strength of it .'"

A "Settin' " Lot of Boyd.

Old fanner GrufF was one morningtugging away with all his might andmain at a barrel of apples, which hewas endeavoring to get up the cellarstairs, and calling at the top of hi-

llings for one of his bov to lend ahelping hand, but in vain When i

he had" after an infinite amount ofsweating and tugging, accomplishedthe task, atidjint when they were notneeded, of course the "boys" madetheir appearance. "Where have youbeen, and what have you been about,I'd like to know, that you could nothear me call?" inquired the farmer inan angry tone, and addressing theeldest. "Out in the work-sho- p, settin'the saw," replied the youth. "Amiyou, Dick ?" Out in the barn, settin'the hen." "And you, -- ir?" "Up ingranny's room, settin' the clock.""And you, young man ?" "Up inthe garret, settin' the trap," Andnow,' Master Fred., where was you.and what was you settin' s-k- ed theold farmer of his youngest progeny,the asperity of his temper being some-what softened by this amusing cate-gory of answers; "come, let's hear!""Out on the door step, settin' still,"replied the young hopeful.

One of the saddest instances ofwoman's faithlessness with which wehave ever met was that of a wife of aman in Syracuse. It seems that thecouple had arranged that for sixmonths the husband was to get upand make the kitchen fire, and thatthe wife was to perform the task forthe succeeding six months. Theman's half year expired on the 2d,and on the morning of the 3d thewoman suddenly died. He is nearlyUlUftvIl iiwO'vm "vi uic uiii lutiwu aa;sa3d ifhe could only have foreseenthis bereavement, he would haveshuffle her out of bed at daylight.every morning since May. j

tawippPFaV"1

VOL. 17. NO. 14.

SELECTIONS THAT IVILL DO.

"We hava lost our little Hannah In a verypainful manner.

And we often asked. "How can her harshsufferlnKS be borne?"

When her death was first reported her auntgot ap and snorted.For the grief that she supported, for it madeher feel forlorn.

She was such a little seraph, that her father,who is sheriff;

Really doesn't seem to care if she neversmllfxfn tlfn(.,fnShe has gone, we hope, to heaven, at theear- -

ly age of seven,(Funeral starts off at eleven) whero she'llnever more have pain.

iilie had a purple monkey climbing on ayellow stick.

And when lie sucked the paint all off, itmade htm deathly sick;

And in his latest hours he clasped that mon-key In his hand.

And bid good bye to earth and went Into abetter land.

Oh f no moro he'll shoot his sister with hislittle wooden gun ;And no more he'll twist the pussy's tall, andmake her yowl for fun.The pussy's tail now stands out straight, thegun is laid aside;.The monkey doesn't Jump around since lit-

tle Willie died.

Therfeath-ange- l smote Alexander McGlne,ami gave him a protracted repose;

He wore a checked shirt and a number nineshoe.

And he had a pink wart on hts nose.No doubt he Is happier dwelling In space, ov-

er there on the ever-gree- n shore ;His friends are informed that ids funeral

takes placePrecisely at quarter-pas- t four.

Mrs. McFndden has gone from this life !She has lett all its sorrows and cares;

She caught the rheumatism in both of herlegs

"While scrubbing the kitchen and stairs.They put mustard plasters upon her in vain.They bathed her wtlh whlskev and rum ;Rut Thursday her spirit departed, and lull

Her body entirely numb.

Four doctors tackled Johnny SmithThey blistered and they bled him;

"With squills and antl-billio- pillsAnd ipecac they fed him.

They stirred him up with calomel.And tried to move his liver;

Rut all In vain his little soulWas wafted o'er the river.

IIOIV GAS IS MADE."How do they make gas?""First, they put about two bushels

of bituminous coal into an air-tig-ht

iron retort.The retort is heated red hot, and, of

course, the coal is heated red hot,when the gas bursts out of it, as yousee it bursls out of lumps of soft coalwhen on the parlor fire.

The gas passes oil" through pipes.A ton of coal will make 10,000 cubicfeet of gas.

1 he gas as it leaves the coal Is veryImpure.2'

"I low do they purify it?""First, while hot, it Is run oft into

another building ; then It is forcedthrough long perpendicular pipes,surrounded with cold water. Thiscools the gas, when a good deal of tarcondenses from it and runs down tothe bottom of the perpendicularpipes. This tar is the ordinary tarwhich you see boiling in the streetsfor roofs and walks."

"They now wash the gas. Theycall it scrubbing it."

"This is done by filling a large ves-sel, which looks like a perpendicularsteam boiler, half full of wood, laidcross ways. Then 10,000 streams ofcold Croton water are spurted thro'the boiler. Through the mist andrain, and between the wet sticks ofwood, the gas passes coining outwashed and cleansed. The ammoniacondenses, joins the water and fallsto the bottom."

"What next?""Well, next the gas is purified. It

is parsed through vata of limeand ox-

ide of iron, which takes out the car-bonic acid, sulphurated hydrogen, andammonia."

"What next?""The gas is now pure. It is passed

through the station meter, throughthe mains ami pipes, till It reachesthe gas jet In your room. Then Itburns, while 3'ou all scold because itdon't burn better."

He ifrllevcd.The spirit of the gentleman (who,

by the way. had been somewhat se-

vere in matters of discipline) was cal-led up, and held some conversationwith the boy. But the messageswere not at all convincing, and theyouth would not believed that his"father had anything to do with them

"Well," said the medium, "whatcan your father do to remove yourdoubts?"

"If he will perform some act whichis characteristic of him. and withoutany direction us to what it shall be,I shall beleieve in it."

"Very well," said the medium ;

"we wait some manifestation fom thespirit-land- ."

This wa no sooner said than (asthe story goes) a table walked up totho voutn, and, withoutkicked him out of the roon.

"Hold on ! stop him !" cried theterrified youth convert; "that's theold man! I believe in rapping!"

The hero ha never since had asire to stir up the old gentleman.

ii"

"BuTTAir, Sah?" An amusingcoiloquy came oil" at a supper tableon board of one of our Mississippisteamboats, between a Chicago ex-quisite, reeking with oil and cologne,who was cursing the waiters, assum- -ing consequential airs, and a rawJonathan seated by his side, dressedin homepun. Turning to the vul-gar friend, the former pointed withhis jewelled finger, and said: "But-ta- h,

--ah !" "Yes. I see It is repliedJonathan. "Buttah, sah, I says,"fiercely repeated the dandy"Yes sir; I know It verygood, and a first rate article." "But-tah. I tell you !" thundered the dan-dy in still louder ton, as if he wouldannihilate him. "Well, gosh allJerusalem, what of it!" now yelledthe down-easte- r, getting his d'anderup in turn ? You don't think I tookit for lard, did you you? You mustbe an everlasting fool, and, drat you.if yon don't shut up your jaw, I'llbutter my fists and cram them downyour infernal throat. If you don'thush up, I'll get mad ; do you here?"

Oncr upon a time in one of theSouth Americ m Republics, the minis-ter of war requestd the minister of thenavy to place the navy of the repub-lic, consisting of one schooner, at thedisposal of the troops, so that tlioymight have transportation to seat ofwar. The minister of the navy sent acourier to where the schooner was,with the necessary order. The LordHigh Admiral wrote back r

"Your Excellency It is impossible.You must be aware that this is aschooner of sixty tons. There Is notroom for three hundred men in her."

The stern old salt in the navy officewrote back :

lliuoiiMiC-iXiJtO- j;. V'C J Oil! 11.Heave ft Inna ni.ctlinnlil o , ri K.li...wu.i..uuaj UI1U IHfintCthe soldi ers.

ffarAU trnnsclent advertisements mort be paisfori n advance j - v

OFFICIAL PAPER OF THE C0UXTY,

A Puzzle.There is a story of how a chamber-

maid got twelve commercial travelersInto eleven bedrooms, and yet to.have given each a separate room.Here we have eleven bedrooms.

3 12 3 14 jo 6 7 8 9 1 101 11

"Now," said" she. if two of you gen-tlemen will go into No. 1 bed roomand wait thprp n fw mimifps TI I

find a spare room for one of u as,rsoon as I've shown the other's totheir rooms.

Well, now, having bestowed- - two.gentlemen in No.l, she put tho thirdIn No. 2, the fourth In No. 3, fifth irNo. 4, sixth in No 5. seventh in No.6. eighth In No. 7. ninth in No. S,tenth in No. 9, elevnth in No. 10.She then came back to No. 1, v?hereyou remember, she had left thetwelfth gentleman with the first, and'said: "I've now accommodated nthe rest, and still have a room tospare; so, if one of you will step into.No. 1!, you will find it empty."-Thu-s

the twelfth man got his bed-room. Of course there is a hole some-where ; but we leave the reader to de-termine exactly where the fallacy Is,with just a warning to think twice as;to which, if any. of tho travelers was.tho "odd man out."

MtMcrllaneotiii.The Rev. Mr. Yocum marries peo- -

pie In Cincinnati.A lively advertisement costs no

more than a dull one.In Pennsylvania they call half

mourning "Pittsburgh sunshine." -A Troy shoe manufacturer adver-- .

tises for "five hand-sewe- d bootmen."The list of American novels an-

nounced for this fall comprises oyerfifty titles.A Vermont paper promises some"miscellaneous" reading now thatthe election is over.

Creswell says that the boy of to-da- y.

will see the time when letters will be.sent anywhere for a penny.

Experience will teach any man thatit is advantageous to patronize thosq'who advertlso In newspapers.

"The Search for a Publisher" is .shilling manual published in London,for the benefit of would-b- e authors.

To tell the truth, Boston's sister,cities are secretly pleased at her noble,determination to receive no pecuniary,aid.

More than 10,000,000 pounds fo Indiarubber gum nre used in one year Inthe 150 india rubber manufactories orAmerica and Europe.

The English papers call steam,whistle the "American devil." Wnknow better. He is the youth thatcomes down stairs and asks for copy.

The latest example of laconic re-porting is: An Indian opened a canof nitor-glyceri- ne with his tomahawk,and left. Search resulted In "no In-dian."

Tho Albany Journal concludes fcordial notice of .S'crifincr's Mothlt,with the enthusiastic cry, "Long live.Galaxy." Something was evidently

r mixed.Somebody Inquiring at the Spring-

field, HI., post-offic- e for a letter tonMike Howe, received the grutl" an-swer that there was no letter there

cow.The Providence Herald man, after,

evolving 775 paragraphs on the horsoJisorder, burst into tears because heconcludn't think of anything thatwould make a good 77Gth.

Tho Chicago Times publishes anarticle which claims to show thatthere have bet-- n nearly one hundredmurders in that city within seven,years, "and not a neck stretched."

"If all the cities in the Union werareduced to ashes, you'd have a newset of millionaires, in a couple of yearsnr so, out of the trade in potash." Soasj's the philosopher, Oliver Wen-dell Holmes.

An old lady hearing that the shock-ing condition of the firemen's hosohad resulted in the destruction of alarge amount of property, set up near-ly all night to put her husband'ssocks in complete repair.

Charles E. Hulse of JefTcraonville,Ky., Blended his lady love who wassick with malignant variola, and diedin consequence. The papers said he"died for love," but the disease hadevery symptom of the small-po- x.

A lady wished to have her hus-band's life insured in a Boston office,the other day. giving as a reason thatshe wanted either a husband or somemoney, "the didirt care which." She,never expected both at iho sametime.

When Miss Bruce, daughter of thaBritish home secretary, was marriedthe other day, she was attended bybridesmaid., of whom nine were her.sisters. Poor Mr. Bruce! Englandshould look kindly on alJ his futureactions.

Nothing wa ever invented or crea-ted which a country publisher willnot turn Into account, if he gets thochance, in the wa of stirring up sub-pcrib- ers

to "pay up." the Hamilton(Kan.) says, for instance:"The Epizootic i in tho land. Alldelinquent subscribers nvisi now set-tle up."

When yon m:?ie a sidewalk, yoifwant to get it'ver' narrow and very

: high, soinething like tho shape of anegg. Then when anyone ilips on It,a leg will ge oiTat each side, and hawill be -- pllt through to the chin, anddie without struggle, ami his wile can,get the iiisiirace, and marry a man

j who wiM go into business and mafcean assignment. On any other walka man will fall and cripple himself,and live on forj-ear- s after his wife isueuu, anu linn uie 5,m leave me 1U- -.

surance money to hfs mother.A young man engaged in making,

himself attractive to a young htdy wataken with a lit of coughing ambrought up two marbles he hadswallowed when a lioy. The joun"-lad- y

dismissed him. Shp sakl' shedidn't want to marry a atone quarry.

Here is the ground-wor- k for a first-cla- ss

novel. A blind man was cross-ing Broadway, when he was on tho.point of being run over by a recklesshansome cab driver, and at the risk oher own life a beautiful youug ladyran to his rescue, and piloted the oktman to the pavement in safety.

"

A.rich (isrhflor saw the tansactipn, amistraightway sought her out, "was iu- -traduced, courted, proposed. wa3 ac-cepted, and married to the heroinewithout loss of time. The efleet ofthis is wonderful. Hopeful young:

i ladies can be seen standing in tnT!-- I

vicinity of street crossings, with on. eye searching for a stray blind man.and the other on the look-ou- t for;a rich bachelor ; for i irp,uid n- - 'artawful bore f they should' tackle thold man and have the bachelor a&--Iwhere around. -- -'

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