Going the Distance

The starter calls for the final run out. My team and I take our last stride before the

race out to our coach. I am nervous, but only slightly.

“I've done this dozens of times before” I say to myself. We all start clapping and

put our hands in together.

Coach says, “This is it; everything we’ve been working for is being paid off

today. Go out there, be strong, and run your race.”

Now it’s just the seven varsity girls standing in the huddle. Just as we do before

every race, we break down with our chant.

“I heard it through the grape vine your team was mighty tough. But when you’re

up against the Bears tough is not enough! We fight! To the last race! We fight! To the last

mile! We fight! To the last minute! We fight we fight we fight! Go Bears!”

We throw our hands up and depart from the huddle. As we head to the start line I

shake out my legs and get a few high knees and butt kicks in to stay loose. I stand with

my team patiently awaiting further directions from the starter. I jump around a little more

to loosen up then get into position. We are told to step back behind the dotted line for the

step up start. The crowd’s cheers are halted awaiting the gun shot. Every girl’s eyes on

the start line are set upon the starter.

The starter has three commands.

“On your mark.” His arms horizontal to the ground, everyone steps up to the line.

“Get set.” His arms are raised up by his ears with the gun ready. I set my feet right

foot forward, left behind, and take a deep breath.

“Bang.” The gun goes off and with the rising of the cheers a slight chill is sent

throughout my body.

The ground trembles as hundreds of us stride out in attempts to not get caught in a

clump and fall behind. The first two hundred meters are a blur. I get out and in a good

spot and settle into my pace. I’m surrounded by a small group of my teammates, a solid

pack of four girls. I know that if we stay together, I can get through this. After a few hills,

twist and turns, one kilometer goes by, and then two. Everything is so unreal. I feel just as

the autumn trees look. Dead. Everything around me is moving in slow motion. Spectators

are faceless structures that outline the course and their cheers are muffled almost to a

white noise. The only thing I know, the only thing that matters, at this place and time, is

the course, this race, and my team. Charging up another hill I keep pushing on because I

know my girls are right here with me. I have to stay with them, falling back is not an

option.

Everything hurts and thoughts are rushing through my mind. I make the mistake

of breaking off from the pack, the pain is unbearable. Muscles are heavy and I am

gasping for air. You almost wish death was taunting you. Quit now, fall down off to the

side, take yourself out of this misery and be done. It would be so easy to just quit. What

do you have to prove? And in that doubtful question to myself I find the answer.

Everything. I have everything to prove. This sport is about overcoming the difficulties

and getting better. I take a deep breath and push on. In the middle of the third kilometer

our pack is staying strong together. Out of the muffled voices I hear our coach

encouraging us to move up and get the girls right in front of us. There is no better feeling

during a race than passing the competitor. This feeling is even better when the pack of

you and your teammates in the passing of the opponents.

As a group, we move around the competition, as if to swallow them and spit them

back out. It’s as if running in this pack, and passing other girls destroys their confidence

and strengthens ours. All of us know in our hearts that if we are not running this race for

ourselves and to reap the reward of our own hard work, we have to run it for our coach.

We all want to make him proud by giving nothing but our best. Every bit of me still says

to stay back and let the pack go ahead. But again I hear my coach from the sideline say:

“Make the commitment, choose to go!” Going against the agonizing pain and

desire to give up, I know he is right. I know I can do better.

Everything happens so quickly, yet at the same time seems to last forever. The end

is nearing. Two of my teammates are now ahead of me, one behind me. Again I remind

myself to breath. I calm all my thoughts down and refocus. I slowed down and I needed

to pick it back up. With one kilometer to go, and pain increasing, I have to make it hurt

more. At the end of the day I won’t remember how bad it hurt, that feeling will go away.

Pushing past the pain and doubts is the hardest thing to do, but when you push your limits

you find what you are really capable of. You better than you believe and stronger than

you know. The amount of dedication and discipline put into this has been far too much to

let my self give up so easily. Every seven am work out, every day all year round can not

end in anything but more than my best.

The finish line is in my sights. All that is left to do is leave every ounce of life in

me on the course. I lengthen my stride heading down the straight away. Breathing gets

harder, my legs want to collapse and there are three girls ahead of me. There is no way I

will let anyone pass me so I give everything I have left.

Coming through to the finish, you can tell by the spectators cheers if anyone is on

your tail chasing you down. The crowds’ roars were increasing and it wasn't because I

was being chased down, it was because I was chasing down them and I was right on their

tails.

I passed one girl and set my sights on the next two. They are giving it their all and

I am but a few steps behind them. The pace is increasing but I am not going to give up

without a fight. I give everything I have left coming in to the finish. Ten meters, five

meters, finished. I caught the two girls in front of me and ended in sixteenth place; One

place away from making the all county team. Exhausted and breathless, I am barely able

to hold myself up. The mental and physical pains leave me wondering why I am not dead.

I stumble a few more steps toward a fence and finally collapse over it. My muscles feel

like Jell-O and any form of movement is out of the question. An official rushes over to

make sure I am alright and gets me up. With one arm around his shoulder and the other

around one of my teammates, I focus on breathing, and then close my eyes as they walk

me over to the water. A sweatshirt is being put on over me to get me warm and water is

being held to my lips for me to drink. I feel incapable of anything in that moment of time

after the race.

Regaining some strength, my parents try to help walk me back to the tent.

Although still a little out of it, I put my problems aside and tell them no and to go back, I

have to see how my team is. All of us are tired and words are not always needed at times

like this so I pat some of the girls on the back and give others a hug. I know how each

and every one of them feels, and what’s even more amazing is they know how I feel too.

We put ourselves through a lot and I am proud to say I put myself through that little bit of

hell because you figure out who you really are and what you can do when limits are being

tested. I endure pain, overcome doubts and push my limits which is something most

people cannot say. The discipline you have to instil in yourself in this sport also helps

guide discipline in your everyday life.

Coach once said to me that there is no such thing as a perfect race. Pain is

inevitable, and conditions are unpredictable, the only control is you. I would not have the

understanding or running that I have today if it were not for my coaches. Running is

going to hurt no matter what. But it’s at that point of pain where you have to make a

choice. A choice to go, push your limits, and not worry about what you’ll feel like after,

or throw in the towel, let down your team and let all your training just go to waste. You

have to choose to take control of all the things holding you back and say I am better than

this, and I am going to prove it. If you can cross that finish line, look in your teammates

eyes, and know you gave everything and more than you had, that is all anyone could ask

for. I walked away from the race having got sixteenth place individually, fifth place as a

team advancing to on to the next meet, a new personal record and a new spot on the

schools cross country top ten board. I love this sport and everything it has taught me and I

forever and always will.