The Greatest Love Story Ever (other than Twilight)

Once upon a time, there was a crazy, retarded woman named Kasey Onri Cards. She was

a dirty prostitute that smelled of old cottage cheese and bacon. Fortunately for her, that didn't matter, because she was incredibly easy. One day, she had a new client come to her, in need of

some raw, unadulterated lovin'. His name was Coco Linwatts. "Hey, I heard YOU were the feisty young woman to come to for a good time. Is this

true?" Coco asked in a gruff voice. "WHAT THE SHIT?! YOU'RE ORANGE!" Kasey exclaimed.

"Uhh, what? No I'm not. Man, you're off your rocker. Look, my name is Coco, and I needsome action. How much do you charge?" asked Coco.

"AHAHAHA! YOUR NAME IS COCO?! DO YOUR PARENTS HATE YOU OR SOMETHING?!" Kasey exclaimed... Again.

"What?! No! Just, just get to work!" Coco yelled. And so Kasey did her job, and she got it done in record time.

"Oh my God, Kasey. Thank you SO MUCH! I really needed that. Usually the girls I go for are a bit... Larger than you," said Coco.

"ANYTIME, GUY WITH A GIRL NAME!" Kasey exclaimed... Yet again. Two days later, Kasey started feeling strange. Her head hurt all the time, and she had

gained twenty pounds in those two days. She thought maybe it was just another strange STD, which she was used to, but she went to the free clinic anyway. After waiting around for three

hours, she was finally set up in a room. The doctor walked in. "Hello! My name is Axwell Weed. Or, you know DOCTOR WEED! Ha, ha, ha, I amuse

myself intensely. So, what happens to be the problem, young man?" asked Dr. Weed. "MAN?! HONEY, I'M ALL WOMAN! BUT YEAH, I FEEL LIKE CRAP ALL THE

TIME. CAN YOU FIX THAT?" Kasey, of course, exclaimed. "Oh! My mistake. I'm TRULY sorry. Well, can you please describe your symptoms?" Dr.

Weed asked. "WELL, MY BONES ACHE, I BREAK OUT INTO COLD SWEATS FOR NO

REASON, MY HEAD FEELS LIKE IT'S GONNA EXPLODE MOST OF THE TIME, I'VE BEEN GAINING WEIGHT LIKE A MAJOR FAT ASS, AND I HAVE TO PISS ALL THE

TIME." Kasey stated... I mean exclaimed. "Well I have a great idea! We'll run some tests, make sure you're not lying like an idiot, and then you should be on your way, sound good? Good," Dr. Weed concluded. So Dr. Weed tested Kasey in every way possible. Blood test, urine test, skin test. But

nothing seemed very obvious. That is, until Kasey took a reading test, in which she forgot how to read. Dr. Weed KNEW then what was wrong with Kasey.

"Ah-HA! I've solved this health mystery once and for all. You, Kasey, are pregnant... WITH AN ORANGE ALIEN BABY!" yelled Dr. Weed.

"IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! I KNEW THAT ORANGE MAN WITH THE GIRL NAME WAS SKETCH!" Kasey exclaimed... This girl just can't calm the hell down.

Just a week later, Kasey gave birth to a thirty-six pound two ounce orange bundle of joy. Coco was alerted of this birth through his super disgusting hair powers, and when he got to the delivery room, and looked into Kasey's cross-eyes, there was an instant love connection, and

they both flew to Coco's home planet and lived happily ever after.