i look around and all i see are strangers

faces unfamiliar

faces i don’t know

i am the alien in this place.

a piece from a different puzzle.

no matter how hard i push

i can never be like them.

we can share our time,

our laughs, our secret jokes,

but it doesn’t feel real when all are just clay faces

with bodies you can’t touch

with feelings you can’t grasp

I've hit many false glimmers of hope

a girl, maybe two; they welcome me here

then set me free to walk alone.

maybe a boy

we share thoughts, interests, old souls

maybe a smile or two.

but I've come to realize he is just another unfamiliar face,

and she is just an unfamiliar face

strangers just like the rest.

they are all strangers.

i am the alien.

These words I cannot spill from mind to tongue

Imagine how it all is said and done

They say that actions speak louder than words

But without them feelings go unheard

Free my mind to fly on its own.

The waves from brain to brain could not be stronger

My heart is having trouble waiting longer

I’ll never get my point across

They say its better loved and lost

But I never want to lose you.

I wonder what it is I’m trying to say

My rainbow thoughts may come out solid gray

You’re stunning, you’re scenic, but you’re blurred

I guess my feelings will go unheard

So much to say,

But I am not brave.

I am with you.

I am with your voice, with your hands, with your body

I am with your sadness, your content, and your rage

I am with your bias, your opinion, your theories, and your speculations

I am with your impression

I am with your design

I am with your vision, your audio, your taste

I am with your reflection, your self-consciousness, your beauty and your flaws

I am with your embarrassment and your humility

I am with your leisure, and your pleasure, and your satisfaction

I am with your vibes

I am with your waves

I am with your religion, I am with your faith, and I am with your dedication

I am with your madness and I am with your sanity

I am with your pulse, your rhythm, and your movement

I am with you.

I am with your everything

i endeavor

drive myself; push myself, to fight the strenuous incline

each day is another step forward

and two steps descending

backwards, into what’s reality

i can never make it

i will never make it

i will never arrive

at the summit

of my pursuit of happiness.

i couldn’t think of anything i’d like to do more

than fall in love with you

my mind is tangled inside you

intertwined thought into thought.

i sink into your eyes

i melt into your voice

your words interlace into my brain

as your fingers interlace into mine

small words

bottomless feelings

beautiful to the sight, sound, and touch

you have captivated my interest

with your limitless fascination.

If I had a aged typewriter

I’d type down every feeling I could think of

click click click

I would have no sores from a pencil

And I could toss the paper out

And there would be no evidence that it ever existed

If I had a honeyed guitar

I’d sing and strum a beautiful song

C Am Em G

I would have sores from each pluck

And I could tape it and play it and listen

And people would hear it and know it existed

If I had a polished gun

I could load it and cock it and pull the trigger

bang

I would have sores in my heart from the blow

And I could bleed and rest and move on

And nobody would know I existed

You are here

But you really aren’t here

Fake an expression that you really don’t feel

Fake movements you really can’t manage

Your body is filled with a demon that you can’t release

Poison dictates your system

You let it saturate your body and soul

I can’t thrive without you.

My caretaker, my protector, my nurse

Fix yourself.

A little boy meets a little girl

He tells her she’s stupid

They play a game of hopscotch

And play tag

And push each other on the grass

Making messes

A young fellow meets a young lady

He tells her she’s cute

They pass a few love notes

And cheek kisses

And push each other out of their school desks

Making valentines

A man meets a woman

He tells her she’s beautiful

They vow their love for each other

And kiss each others mouths

And push each other onto the bed

Making love

there is war in my brain

wrath in my vein

hate in my domain

acid in my rain

there is horror in my head

blood in every thread

rage in every shred

sight is going red

drugs inside my system

madness in my dictum

stutters in my rhythm

i am just a victim

of the war in my brain.

i think maybe i love you

just a little

you with your sweet words and carless wisdom

with your endearing smile and sharp wit

and the way you think before you speak

i think maybe i love you

just a little

you with your shined up shoes

with your greased up hair and slim fit jeans

and the way you look before you leap

i think maybe i love you

just a little

maybe a lot.